I watch him dance with ease, as he has been doing for the past three years. If you know him though, you see the pain, and the fear in his hopeless eyes. Soon, his pupils will dilate, and he won’t have a care in the world. For now, though, his pain is evident, and his reality is quite evident. That is until we go back later, and I’m dragging his drugged body across the floor as he vomits. Me cleaning him up for hours, and helping him stay safe, all this because he wants to forget. He doesn’t realize that he can’t go around numbing his pain forever though, because white lines and pills can only go so far.
The music blasts in the background as he finally drops to the floor, his body having enough of his circumstances.
I wake up, gasping for air, the smell of smoke and alcohol on breaths haunting my nose. It’s just a dream Alex, it’s just a dream...is my thought I use to calm myself. My alarm goes off in 5 minutes, which is just great, it’s 11 pm, meaning it is my turn to be a sitter. I get up, brush my teeth, shower, and attempt to make myself look somewhat presentable in scrubs. I catch myself in the mirror, seeing my tan skin, and a glimpse of my not-yet-awake brown eyes. Complimented by the wavy and nearly black brown hair that I’m attempting to make look presentable. It takes me a good 10 minutes to get to work, where I start at 12:30 am. Yawning, I grab a coffee from the café and go up to grab my assignment. Willow is there, and she looks at me sadly, “Your assignment. If you need anything just page me, alright?”
I nod in confusion and take my room number. 609, adult ICU. Suicide risk. So, we probably have another OD, what a shock. I walk to the room and get the usual smell of antiseptic, before walking in. I’m used to seeing patients in bad shape, but this... oh dear. There is a man lying there with glitter in his hair, eyes closed and swollen, part of his neck has burn marks... cigarette burns. His lips are bruised too, and he is barely recognizable, but I recognize him... Aidan.
“Aidan...” I trail off softly.
His eyes open weakly, and honestly, it looks painful... The monitors pick up a little to an actual normal rate for a split second before he croaks out.
“Alex?”
“Yes, Aidan. I’m here.”
A single tear trails down his cheek, and this isn’t the ‘party to forget’ side of him. This is the time he realizes his current situation, which isn’t good.
“You’re alive.” He mumbles.
“Very.”
ns 15.158.61.8da2
