The next morning I wake up around 10am to look around and see Aidan already gone. I get up, trying to smooth my hair a bit before walking out to the kitchen. Aidan sits at the table on his phone, eating some cereal.
“Good morning.” He smiles, putting his phone down while turning to face me.
“Morning.”
I sit on the chair across from him and he says, “You stayed.”
“Why would I not?”
“I don’t know.” He looks down.
“It is okay, don’t worry, I thought it was nice.”
We sit in silence as I eat my breakfast until I say, “I missed doing that… holding you I mean.”
“You know, you still have not changed in certain areas. Not bad, but you still make me feel safe when you hold me.” He shrugs.
I look at him and smile, “I figured, you actually sleep in my arms compared to your usual insomniac self.”
“How do you..”
“You’ve texted me at 3am asking me to buy cereal, Aidan.”
He nods sheepishly in defeat.
“What do you want to do today?” I ask.
“I don’t know…”
“I know.” I tease.
“I want to hang here, I mean we always do that, but it is fun.”
“Fair.” I get up and take our plates away.
He walks to my room and I follow in curiosity.
“I want to watch a movie.”
I shake my head while smiling, “Which one? Grab my laptop and we’ll see.”
He climbs into bed with my laptop and hunts down a movie. I go beside him and laugh at his amazement with the amount of movies.
“What are we watching?” I ask.
“Something.”
I look at my laptop screen and see him on YouTube instead.
“You are picking a song?” I question in confusion.
“Yup.”
The soft lyrics play and I nearly want to cry instantly.
“If that’s what you wanted”
I love him, so much. He lays his head on my shoulder and I look down at him. The cigarette burns still visible on his neck, the small scar on his cheek, soft blue eyes looking at the screen, and his aura he gives off. We’ve had many moments like this, but they still are amazing each time.
“I love you.” I tell him.
He looks up at me, a soft smile on his face as he leans closer to kiss me.
“I love you too.”
We sat there for a good 3 hours, until I had to do work on my laptop and he played on his phone. God, I missed this.
“Do my scars scare you?” He asks, startling me.
“No, I have a bunch.” I think that is the right thing to say.
“I just thought..”
The day that he came back after 3 days was terrifying. He came back high of his rocker, and it is unbearable. He came down from it, and was sobbing for hours on end. I decided not to listen to them so I walk over.
“Aidan.” I crouch beside him.
“Leave me alone!” He yells.
“Aidan, please.” I beg.
A blur and a sting on my cheek. He hit me… he really hit me. A bit of anger burns in my chest.
I get up and walk to the bathroom where he follows close behind and pleads, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
I turn around to see his swollen and red face, knowing he isn’t even here mentally.
“Don’t do it again. Please.”
Then... my real nightmare hit.364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWsgo6EHfB2
“Aidan, I need you to go.” I demand firmly, as the man holds the knife.
“No, he can watch.” The man smiles.
I feel horror hit me, as he tapes my mouth so my screams can’t be heard and ties Aidan’s wrists to the bedpost. The knife glints in the light, and I see the horror in Aidan’s eyes as the man says, “You scream, and I slit his throat.”
I accept my fate at this point, it has been a lovely 17 almost 18 years. I’m shoved against the floor and my head is smashed on the carpet to the point I see stars. I don’t see it. But I feel the stabs, over and over, the searing pain as I scream muffled screams. Tears stream down my face, and I know I’m going to die, I know. As I go limp from blood loss, the man for some reason… he leaves. He unwraps the rope on Aidan before saying, “You run after me, and I’ll kill you too.”
I see Aidan nod frantically, and the man walks out as though nothing happened. As soon as the man leaves, Aidan grabs the phone he has hidden in the bathroom before running to me. He takes the tape off my mouth and looks at me while pleading, “Alex. Alexander. Don’t go.”
I hear him call 911 through my haze, and I know things are not going to end well.
“Don’t go, I love you, please don’t go.” He begs, while grabbing my blood covered hand.
I smile weakly, my throat burning, “I love you too, just stay with me, please.”
“I’m going to.”
I fade out.
A pair of lips on mine, and a soft “I’m sorry. I have to go.”
Lights, people, masks, loud voices.
I fade out.
I bolt straight up around my one night off at 2am as I wake up. I feel my scars on my stomach and attempt to tell myself it is okay. My breathing is heavy as I relive the nightmare that haunts me. Even now, I still remember the exact searing pain of that knife stabbing me over and over. His voice, laugh, oh my god. Where am I?
“Alex, you’re okay, Alex.” I hear a soft voice tell me.
I look around frantically to see Aidan looking at me with a bit of pain in his eyes. The only thing I do is grab onto him and cling to him for dear life.
“Alex, you’re okay, it is okay, you are safe and nobody can hurt you.”
He rubs small circles on my back gently to calm me down, and I slowly breathe.
“It’s okay, just cry, I know you need to.”
I end up like that for hours, and then finally throughout the tears I find a breakthrough to sleep.
I wake up around 10am, to see Aidan beside me on his phone.
“Anything new?” I groan while getting up.
“Not really, Willow posted pictures of her and her wife though.”
“Oh fun. Anything else entertaining?” I laugh softly
“No, hey are you okay?” He asks.
“From last night? Yeah, yeah I’m fine.” I reassure myself mainly.
He looks at me sadly and I know he doesn’t believe me, and he is right, I’m not exactly okay. I’ve coped with it but sometimes it hits me, exhibit A being last night.
For some reason, I feel just a need to think, which can be good or bad in this case it is good. I lay back down and he looks at me, “You typically never go back to sleep.”
“Today is an exception.” I respond.
“Talk, come on I’m worried,” He starts, “You take care of everyone else and yet when it comes to yourself you struggle.”
“Just… bad dream and it brought back stuff.”
I rest my head on his chest, and he says, “It was about our last night a couple years ago, wasn’t it?”
I look up at him and nod, “If you need me just tell me.” Are his last words before I begin to fall asleep.
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