Amelia and Warren sat down to eat dinner in silence while thinking about the day.
Warren was thinking, more dreading how his father would react to him ignoring requests. But he didn't want to say anything to worry Amelia. His family problems would have to be personally locked away until it was the right time.
Amelia was wondering why Warren was being quiet as they began to eat. Even the way he ate was meticulous, he barely chewed and if he swallowed it looked like he was in a library eating so nobody found out he was. She glanced at him between bites of her food and tilted her face while examining his slightly scattered expression.
She hesitated before placing her hand on his. It seemed like the natural thing to do but she was apprehensive about trying it. Warren's strong blue eyes stared forward, barely making any contact on his plate. His eyes were striking, they always were, but now they were slightly less bright. Something was wrong.
She wanted to talk to him but she was unsure of it now.
It felt more peaceful now that they came back to his home for dinner. It would have been harder to be near him around so many people. Warren offered to take her somewhere else but she kindly asked if it was OK to stay home, even after the rain subsided, the outcast was prominent, Warren relented but agreed. More because the rain could and would come back whenever it wanted and he didn't want to have to deal with having to take cover for hours on end. It felt unfortunate that nature's reaction would ruin what he had in mind for the day. He wanted to spend time outside but it just wasn't those days. It was too cold, the sky had too many clouds, too dreary; there were too many reasons.
Warren felt glum; he wanted today to be perfect and it was anything but. For once he wanted things to go right. If everything worked out the way he planned, then he wouldn't lose faith in life so much.
He heard Amelia clear her throat at one point and forced himself out of the funk to look at her. He saw a worried expression on her face regardless of him thinking about it. It seemed like he wasn't hiding it well.
She slightly hesitated before forcing her voice out, slightly struggling on the words.
"Are you...?" She began to ask him, pausing for a moment before clearing her throat a second time. "Warren, is everything alright?"
Warren thought for a moment, and then nodded slowly as he stood up with his plate in hand walking towards the sink. "Excuse me."
This wasn't right for him to be feeling this way. So what if today was an off one? Couldn't he make up for it another time? He could, surely. He had her. She was with him. They could do whatever they want together and nothing can stop them...
But...it wasn't the truth and he knew it. There are things he needed to tell her. There were things he had to tell her. His dad, for one, he didn't know where to begin - the man was a thorn in his side since Warren became a mutant in college. His father wouldn't let his own son outside for several years upon finding out. Warren's insecurity had risen whenever he heard his father's voice. The voice of judgment. The only blood relative who held his livelihood in his grasp. Being cut off from everything was the price he had to pay for personal freedom. It would all be over. He would be free of the secret, ostracized, even more so and cast out by society. Since the name Worthington had notoriety to it, the entire state of New York would know he was a mutant. And this was his detriment, he couldn't live with that. Defy his father, be free, become a recluse; or: obey a tyrant, live in secrecy, look into the mirror upon his true features and doubt his real identity to the world.
And then there's Amelia...
Losing the only woman that mattered to him since losing his mother. He couldn't do it. He couldn't bring himself to risk her knowing anything. Lying to her was protecting her, right? Not lying, withholding the truth was protecting. It was, he chose to believe he really was showing her a better life by not explaining to her she could and would be capable of fending for herself. Amelia wasn't ready yet. It wasn't fair. Warren was afraid he needed her more than she did him. With all her attributes suddenly improving, soon she was going to become independent, make her own decisions, possibly...talk to another man. He shuddered at all these personal life transformations. Was he keeping her stagnant by not telling her the truth? Yes, and it hurt him so much to admit that, even in the barrier of his own thoughts. To risk losing her was a huge gamble. She could run, she could just disappear, like his mother. Be here one day and become a ghost the next. She could find happiness somewhere else, with someone else.
Because of that he couldn't and wouldn't tell her a damn thing. Amelia would leave him the moment she found out who she really is. What she can do...
That she really didn't need him to take care of her.
Warren put his plate in the sink and turned on the hot water, washing all the remains off. He looked behind his back and Amelia left the table with her plate still full of food. He slightly panicked until he saw her sitting down comfortably on the couch corner, staring off into space.
He walked toward the living room and put her plate inside the sink, ran the water on top and dried his hands on the dish towel beside him. He started to take off his coat and firm restraints, and stretched his wings up from their compact confines. He shut his eyes as he took a deep breath, relaxing before he did anything else.
When he started looking at her his mind tried to settle itself. He wanted to believe the positive words now whispering to him.
Please don't let those thoughts ruin you. It's already affecting the people you care about. You shut down, you always do. Mom always said talking about how you feel is better than a passive aggressive reaction. Don't let it get to you. Talk to her. You don't really know if she will leave you. You saw her eyes, you felt her heart. Trust her. Don't be afraid.
Warren walked to the living room and stood in front of the couch, chest bare, wings in full presence. He couldn't hide himself in front of her, he didn't want to. He was going to have to fight his fear and tell her everything. Spare nothing else, and risk losing her in probability.
"I'm back."
She bit her lip, no reaction to his statement. She didn't know what to say. She looked down in the darkness, ashamed she tried to pry any answers before. She kept messing up and now he's going to do something to her. She dreaded what's coming next.
Warren sat near her, his body turned, in an attempt on getting her to look at him. He gulped his last timid emotions away and felt his face lament.
"I'm sorry."
Her mouth twitched. She picked her words carefully, "I-I shouldn't try to make you talk to me. I was just..." she said pausing and she turned to him, "worried."
She's back to being afraid of him. No he wasn't going to have this, not when they've come so far with each other.
"It's not your fault, none of this is. I was lost for a moment and now I'm back. I swear it won't happen again. I know you need me. I'm right here."
Amelia's face nearly blushed at the words. It was true. She couldn't deny this much.
He caught her reaction and they both smiled, the awkward tension easing away as they leaned back on the couch in a more comfortable silence than before. After a few moments, he put his arm around her body, the gesture relaxing them.
Warren felt a need to explain himself. He sighed heavily before speaking.
"I don't know what I'm doing, sometimes I do that. Shut out, I get it from my dad. I get my worst qualities from him." Warren admitted. "I won't do it anymore, especially to you." Warren had only scratched the surface when it came to his father. He'd expected Amelia to feel petrified from now on, but she wasn't oddly.
Amelia nodded and rested her face on his chest. She began to really feel calm after a few more deep breaths. She gently smiled.
"I really want to thank you for today. I loved every minute, even the rain..." She said shyly as Warren responded with a lopsided grin.
"Really? Why is that?"
"Because it didn't matter what I did today, I wasn't alone. I had you with me."
Warren smiled and almost chuckled when he remembered the rain again, feeling crestfallen. "Would have been nice to do more things though. I wanted today to be perfect for you. I had some things that you and I could do together."
"It was perfect. Like I said, I don't care what my days are about. I've don't want to spend them with anyone else besides you."
Warren blushed profusely, "I feel the same. Maybe there's tomorrow, right? Hopefully it wouldn't be this dreary outside on a new day."
"Hmm, what did you want to do that you couldn't?"
"Are you sure you wanna know? It might ruin the surprise." One of many, he thought.
She smiled. "What if we could do it? Would you still tell me?"
"Maybe...why, do you think you might want to?"
"I don't know what it is. If you tell me, maybe we could make it happen."
Warren exhaled loudly, "I wanted to take you flying. I wanted there to be a perfect night sky, like the ones I fly on; no clouds, just bright stars. I wanted to take you on top of some of my favorite views in New York. The city isn't supposed to rain like this. It was random. So, yeah...that's what I wanted to do. Surprise."
Amelia reached to turn on the lamp so she could see his amused face. "Why don't we?"
"Seriously? You really want to?" He asked.
"Yeah, we could," she said as she thought about getting up but waited for his answer.
He gave her a sheepish look. Why not? She wants to go. Do it!
He was about to say yes when thunder rumbled outside and cracks of lighting briefly illuminated the room.
Both of them moderately stood up to look through the screen door as more rain came pouring onto the city. Amelia felt guilty and embarrassed. Warren was right; she inadvertently brought up his hopes at the wrong time, again. But she honestly didn't know this would happen.
"And that happens...it does rain before the winter season, but normally we know about it, this is one of those unpredictable nights." Warren replied, taking her hand.
She loved the warmth radiating from his simple gesture. "Well it's alright. It happens. I hope everyone is home where it's nice and warm. It started to get cold when it first rained."
"I didn't know you were cold. I'm sorry."
"It's alright, I'm glad we came back here. I know we were trying to spend time away but I don't know how many things you can do when it's pouring outside. That's why I told you it was fine to come back home." Amelia said, walking back to couch as he followed her.
Warren liked that she used the word "home" when referring to his place. For a long time it was just his home where barely anyone had visited; now it had meaning. A shared meaning.
"Well, what would you like to do now?" Warren casually asked.
"Hmm," she began, thinking for a few seconds. "We could sit here and talk. I don't know, get to know each other." She slightly blushed, "Maybe we could have a home date."
"OK," Warren said, he liked that she called this "a date," he relaxed as he leaned back staring at the ceiling. Amelia followed his trajectory and leaned back with him. "You can stop me or tell me you don't want to answer if I'm being intrusive."
"OK, go on..." She said, urging him to continue.
"What's your favorite movie?"
"Goodness, I really like Forrest Gump. It was such a beautiful story. Someone triumphing over an obstacle he can't help. He was born with it, just like we are." She said, looking at him through the corner of her eyes.
"Yes, that's true. Emotional stories like that one really make me fall apart. I agree."
"Yeah. "
"So I know what you're talking about."
"Is it my turn?" She said.
"Yeah, go on."
"What was the happiest time in your life?" She asked him.
Warren went back in his memories to pull out something that made him smile beyond any other time in his life. He took a few moments to remember before he answered.
"I really enjoyed all the times my mother used to take me to the park. She wanted me to be free, keep my childhood alive, play with things, discover and learn how everything works. She believed in me no matter what. Every time I made a mistake she would point out what I did wrong and tell me the lesson behind it. I was happier because every time she did that we would grow closer. I was a better person because of how she was with me."
"That was really beautiful." She said, her eyes almost brimming with tears.
Warren came back from the memory, smiling slightly from all the emotions from the times he had with her. He was blessed to know what real love is.
"She took care of me," he added, "she never asked me for anything, even though I wanted to give her the world in return. She once told me that 'being her son was the greatest gift anyone could give her.' Knowing I was happy, all of it made her proud." He said softly.
Amelia looked at his eyes nearly glazing over and she sat up. "Warren?"
"Oh yeah, it's just - those memories are so strong."
She smiled, understanding him better.
"You would have liked her; she was so kind and generous. Never once did she make feel afraid of life or of her. I came to her when I needed compassion. I was grateful every time."
Amelia thought for a few moments, enjoying the silence. She knew Warren had more moments that were worth telling so she kept quiet and listened to his voice. She didn't believe she'd ever admit this, but she felt happy to be alive, well and near someone who wanted her to be. It can't be said enough. Someone truly wanted her to be here. This was monumental. Life had been difficult; she wanted everything of the past to be a far distant memory, more a long ago nightmare. Her mind held onto peace above all things, with Warren's voice lulling her to a special kind of tranquility.
Warren realized the room was extremely quiet before he paused again. He was in the middle of a sentence as he felt her body rise and fall with even breathing. He peeked slightly to see her eye lashes resting on top of her cheeks. He wasn't entirely sure if she was merely resting or fallen asleep.
He cleared his throat quietly. The rumble of his chest might have woken her up; he didn't want to disturb her if she really was asleep. Instead of finding out through words, he soundlessly moved to pick her body up in his arms, hesitating before he glanced at her calm face; her body lay motionless while he stared on.
I should tell her everything another time. The more I stall in telling her the truth, I have a feeling her trust in me will be forever gone. Right now, she believes in me. Hold onto this for all long as you can. Even if you tell her she can live without you.
He walked gently to the room they shared and carried her to their bed. Their bed. It was his bed, wasn't it? But it was hers too. It was realistically shared. For how long? Warren couldn't help but feel like it wasn't long until he told her the truth, for her to make her own decision about staying with him. He's only known her for a handful of days but it was enough for him to find peace for the first time in a long time. Not since his mother passed had he never really felt like he could belong to anyone; especially if they couldn't know who he is. Warren's friends would never understand.
He turned around and closed the curtains, switched off the living room lights and went inside the bathroom to get ready for bed. He didn't want to stay up with his thoughts, there wasn't any point when he knew the time would come that he would have to say good bye to her. He stared at her from where he stood in the bathroom. Her body was evenly still, if she was moving, he barely noticed it.
Warren made sure he quickly closed and locked off his phone in case his father called. He wanted to have a calm night's rest without any negative interfering. His father never knew any other way to be. If it was at all possible, he wished he could shut everything and everyone else from his life.
Alas, even still, his aunt would understand. Since she wasn't a Worthington she knew his father would be the main reason behind his Warren's depression. Even if Warren didn't see her, which he sometimes regretted, he appreciated her because she was the only living family member that truly wanted the best for him. Since his Aunt Mimi knew of his mutation, he didn't have to feel uncomfortable being around her. But since he was bringing someone important in his life, he was extremely nervous. Mimi was a tremendous caretaker and welcoming at heart but he was a little worried in the back of his mind. Perhaps it was just his paranoia acting up. He only wanted his aunt to like her, accept her, show her that she is appreciated. Then maybe, Amelia would feel completely safe enough to stay; even after he would tell her what Moira told him. The truth about what she can do.
But it wasn't always in his favor. Knowing the steady stream of things not panning out the way they were meant to be, he wasn't going to gamble a hundred percent on everything coming together. He knew life, with all its complications, didn't work out that way. Still, despite all of his, he hoped for something better.
Warren finished his routine and came to the other side of the bed with more space, slipping ever so slightly into the covers. It was a miracle she hadn't moved let alone make a sound when his weight came come on top of the mattress, his body heat radiating like the sun when he came close to her. He couldn't blame her, she didn't have a good night's sleep and he was willing to grant her everything she needed because she deserved to be happy. He wanted to make sure she never had a moment where she relapsed and became suicidal again. He had the same tendencies so he understood where she was coming from.
His phone rang and immediately he moved to get up to shut off the tone. He thought he'd locked it. When he came to the front screen, it was his Aunt Mimi calling him.
He looked at Amelia who was still asleep and decided to take it out on the balcony.
When he stepped outside and closed the door he slid the lock, answering the call.
"Auntie?"
"Hello my sweet Warren. I'm sorry to phone so late. I didn't expect to call until the morning." She whispered; her voice sounding hushed.
"Oh, it's alright. Are you OK?"
He heard coughing on the other end, which meant that his aunt was smoking again. "I'm alright dear. I can't tell you how wonderful it makes me feel to hear your voice."
The corners of his mouth rose. His aunt said this often in the past, ever since he was in grade school she would find ways to make him smile. But she was right about hearing his voice, it'd been a long time since he kept in touch.
"I missed you too Auntie. So, she said yes. Amelia." Warren said, blushing and liking the way her name rolled off his tongue so naturally.
"I'm so happy sweetheart. I know you mentioned this young lady earlier. I can't wait to meet her for brunch tomorrow." Mimi said softly.
"I know." Something bothered him in that moment, "Auntie?" Warren asked her in a small voice.
"Yes?"
"I'm really scared."
"What of? Are you alright dear?"
Warren sighed heavily, unsure of where to begin. He could start from the beginning but it would take hours before he finished.
"I'm scared of feeling too much, so much that it will happen again. I don't want to lose her. I only just found her. I just want my life to be...this...every day." He said, on the verse of breaking into tears.
Warren caught himself before paying attention to his aunt.
"Have you been telling her the truth?"
If I tell her I lose her. "I wasn't made to lie to people I care about. I'm just afraid. Mom taught me to never be afraid. But I can't help it; I really am so scared of what's going to happen."
"Would you feel the same if she was your mother?"
"No, I wouldn't keep anything from her. Because I know mom wouldn't judge me. She never did." He said, conflicted.
"I really believe you know the answer deep down. I am here if you want to tell me how you feel, but Warren - remember you have every ounce of your mother's compassion inside you. I've seen it; I've always believed in you. If this young lady is something special to you, if you care about her that deeply, and she does for you, then you know she will be by your side no matter what."
How do you know that? Warren took a few long seconds to think about what she said.
"I always believed mom would always be here. She made everything possible for me, even though I knew the world wouldn't welcome who I am. Amelia makes me feel this, just like mom had. It's almost like mom's spirit is living on through her." Warren paused to smile. "They have the same smile."
"You will tell her the truth when you are ready to." She said, pausing to clear her throat. "Does she know?"
Warren immediately knew what she was referring to.
"It's been hard to keep that part of me hidden for long." He said, matter-of-factly.
"How does she feel?"
"She-" Warren's voice began to break up slightly, "she didn't leave me. This was the one thing I dreaded to share with anyone, until now."
Mimi sighed before she explained to Warren there was nothing to worry about. After some moments of convincing words, he realized what she was saying. He didn't want to deny anymore so he thought it was best to personally not worry so much. He brought the conversation to a close after he realized he was repeating himself with all the anxiety he carried. If he had more faith in himself, he wouldn't feel this way. He had to keep in mind that Amelia may not want what he wanted. The tragic reality could hit him between the eyes one day.392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcVww2ZIf2X
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf9isu924b4
No Warren, leave it alone. Stop doing this to yourself. You deserve to be happy. Stop trying to control the situation. You can't make people do something they don't want to do. That is the one thing you avoided growing up. Because once that happens you begin turning into...
"My dad..." He cursed to himself silently and dreaded this notion even for a second. It couldn't be - no part of him came from his father.
He turned around without another word and made his way back inside closing the door. When he placed his phone down, making sure it was closed and locked for good this time, he walked toward the kitchen to get a glass of water. His face was burning up and all he wanted to do was pour the full glass over his face to cool off.
His aunt was right, all of the anxiety was going to show, if it already hasn't already at dinner. Amelia could sense it and soon she was going to get suspicious. This was all about her and he was forgetting that.
History wouldn't repeat itself, it couldn't. Not while he was still breathing. He couldn't help his own heart, reaching to keep her here for as long as time would allow it. This wasn't right, for all the seconds he spent in this mood he could be near her, embracing the final - if it is so - moments he has with this girl. His father's unfortunate genes were creeping up and he didn't like it. Candy and his father wouldn't spoil the gifts in his life. Amelia needed someone strong, someone she could count on. There was so much more to life than worrying about the past suddenly sabotaging something wonderful. Warren knew all too well if he continued believing the worst is about to happen, then maybe he just needed to be alone.
Even after the handful of days, after all the feelings he manifested, he wouldn't abandon the possibility that he will be alone.
During these moments, he felt they were the best times to spread his wings and fly. He thought about it, seriously. Fly and keep soaring, never come back. Pure freedom. Like a mermaid to the call of the sea, he couldn't ignore it. Now were the moments he would do it. Be anonymous. Be himself and never surrender to anyone's judgments.
But he couldn't...this wasn't about him. And it wasn't going to be easy either. He had to stay. He wanted to stay. He wanted Amelia. He needed her next to him, beside him, no matter what happens in life. If they never met, if she never knew who he was, if he hadn't found her that night and saved her within minutes of her heart stopping, he didn't have an answer to that; because he didn't want to know the answer.
The answer, all the answers, just like they've always been, were inside his heart. Love isn't selfish. It's giving, selfless, sacrifice, nurturing, boundless, acceptance and understanding. Warren believed in everything love stood for. He was falling harder than he could keep up with.
It was right here, everything he wanted, and everything he needed in life. And he was just going to run away from it...no he wasn't.
Not anymore, fear wasn't going to control his fate, and it wasn't too late to be with her.
Warren walked to their bedroom and gently made his way to their bed. Amelia was sound sleep; nothing could make her eyelids flutter open. She was dreaming, he was sure of it. No matter what she saw, it had to be peaceful. Was he responsible for this? All of this? Did he really make a difference to her? Was she his?
He never asked her to be. But he made a promise to himself that he was going to never give her doubts about anything. She told him she never slept in solace before; he remembered that as he slid his body into the covers taking his place close to her form to give her more peace.
Her body moved, slowly, rising and falling with each calm breath. Warren watched as all of his former nerves and insecurities faded to where they belong. He wasn't going to allow them to control his emotions.
Amelia's eyes moved until her lashes slowly rose like curtains to the darkness in the room. She almost panicked inside until she felt warmth behind her back; his slow breathing gave her reassurance she needed as she turned around gently to face him.
It wasn't a dream, none of this was anymore.
"I dreamed something really special." Her emotions were appearing, she could feel her eyes begin to attach themselves.
"What was it about?"
"That no matter what happened you were there."
"I don't believe that's much of a dream."
Amelia smiled softly, her eyes glowed their trademark carnation color as she watched the color illuminate his angelic face.
"Why do you say that?"
Warren leaned near her mouth, kissing her tenderly. "Because every day I'm making them come true for you."392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf5v7GIcp4I
