on reciprocity and things that reminded me of s1ep12 (or just an excuse to talk about their bed scene again)
I bet there are probably 54 posts about all this by now, but the more I watch the bed scene the more I love it and I came across a few comments saying that it came off as “one-sided” on Rin’s end. No way I would have been able to shut up after that lol
The tl;dr of this would be that in the post that said s1 was about Haru’s feelings for Rin and now we have Rin’s feelings for Haru is 100% spot-on.
When I look at their bed scene, I personally see a lot of validating (hence reciprocity) going on from both ends of the spectrum; Haru does so consciously, while Rin not so much - but that’s actually what makes the whole thing even more beautiful. Because just like in S1ep12 Haru poured out his feelings to Rin and willingly made himself vulnerable because these were things he needed Rin to know, whether Rin felt the same way or not - Rin is doing exactly the same thing for Haru here.
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Look at Rin’s expression and at the way he prefaces his confession. He acknowledges that Haru may not remember; in fact, going by his expression, I believe he is actually betting on Haru not remembering it. That he assumes that he doesn’t. Because while that day became a pivotal moment of Rin’s life for Rin - for Haru it could have been just another race.
So why should Haru remember a random race that happened ages ago against an unknown kid? Why should Haru find it memorable?
But Haru takes Rin by surprise - because he does remember.
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So, that day that could have been trivial for Haru? It wasn’t. Just like Haru made an impression on Rin from the get-go; it was the same for Haru. Of course, we as the viewers and readers know this because of High Speed - but Rin had literally zero clues. He had absolutely no way to know this, and no leeway to get to that conclusion on his own.
So right here, by admitting that he does remember it - Haru is essentially validating (returning) Rin’s feelings and consciously doing so.
To me, that is precisely why we see Rin’s surprise change into that pretty, warm expression and his body language does a 180º turn. He lays open and comfortable now because he has just been reassured. So feeling empowered by Haru’s admittance (again: reciprocity), Rin carries on.
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And that right there is one of the things that remind me of S1 ep 12:
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Because if you look at the storyboards, they read: “As he takes in Rin’s tears, Haruka smiles. Haruka is relieved that Rin feels the same way he does.” (x) As we all know, Haru’s smile came right after Rin admitted that yes; he wanted to swim with them, too. Thus not only returning Haru’s feelings, but validating them; letting him know that he placed the same amount of importance on swimming together that Haru himself did.
So if you ask me, their relief during both scenes are most likely meant to be one and the same. But I digress before this gets awfully long! lol
What I actually meant to talk about is that in my eyes Haru wasn’t the only one doing the validating here. Rin himself did, too - and that is key. Because what exactly are the feelings we see Haru validate?
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We know that Rin does just that - show Haru what path he should take - at the end of this very episode, too. But we also know that Rin has been doing as such ever since he stepped into Haru’s life.
How fun competitive swimming can truly be. The meaning of ’for the team’. How fun it is to swim with friends, how good it feels to swim in a relay together - who was the one who taught Haru all that? Who was the person who showed Haru the path to all that?
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That’s right - Rin. Season 1 showed the depth of Rin’s effect on Haru; how profound it is, how Rin changed Haru's world.
And now 1 season later, we get Rin voicing the same feelings not only through the preview (“ever since I met you, my world has kept expanding”) but also here in this very scene, through those very words.
And this?
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Haven’t we seen that it’s the same for Haru, too? Even if you make Haru quitting competitive swimming to be entirely out of guilt - the same cannot be said of his reaction when Rin says he is done swimming a second time.
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Haru had no direct relation to Rin quitting this time- yet his reaction is basically the same. And at the core of it all is this:
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We know that Rin wants to be an Olympic swimmer; that is his dream. And before this episode, we knew that Haru wanted to swim with his friends; that was his desire.
But when it comes to drive? They are each other’s biggest driving force. It’s safe to say that swimming together makes them feel fulfilled; it fuels their sense of purpose, reminds them of how amazing it is to swim, to race.
I feel they essentially are the embodiment of that to each other.
So again, I don’t think any more words from Haru were needed; because S1 did a wonderful job of driving home just how Haru feels about Rin. In other words - we all should know by now that it is the same for him. The one whose feelings we had yet to actually hear were Rin’s; and it’s so, so fitting that we did so right in episode 12.
And that’s why I feel that Haru’s ’I remember it, too’ - on-top of being all the validation Rin needed, which is telling enough on its own - should have been even more telling for us as the viewers, because we are the ones who can truly understand all the things comprised in that single line.
…okay this got long so I’m shutting up now haha BUT before that though, I have to say, I feel that another thing that played an important role here is that Haru gets to hear - to truly hear and assimilate from the horse’s own mouth - that all this time he felt purposeless and aimless and lost in the dark while Rin shined brightly in front of him? Rin has always, always been looking at him in turn. Has never thought any less of him, has always admired him. Honestly, I can only begin to imagine how meaningful and reassuring that must have felt.
(sneaking in this screenshot because while they may not be during their bed scene, it is the first time Rin voices out that he admires Haru and Haru’s reaction to hearing it speaks louder than words)
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