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Lines of Devotion;
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/Cassie/
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When I first met Joy she was a mess and you could see how much her world was collapsing. She answered an ad for a roommate which many didn't wish to be apart of because of my medical conditions, but Joy was fine with it. Over a couple of days we spent together I pried a good bit of history from her learning horrible things but she had accepted everything. At first, I was afraid of what she would do if we lived together but that face she wears is hard to ignore. I know that I have worn that same face since starting my new life after running away from home. I learned she gave up everything to start over in life so I thought maybe I could help her go through college even if it's online.
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Days turned into a week and we got more comfortable with each other she even made great progress in her chosen field. But I had a type of seizure one day and that was when I saw her look broken. It wasn't serious but she started staying up later at night to study my condition and things like that. We never really spoken about our personal connections but I can tell she feels for me something u never had experience with due to my medical situation, no one wants to date a dying girl after all. But Joy was diligent and balanced her work, college, and research that amazed me how far she was going for me.
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One night I heard her conversation with her mother it wasn't a normal conversation and I know how bad she hurt her. But she swallowed her everything to reach out and get advice, she has continued to impress me through the weeks together. I wanted to do more with her and open myself up for the first time, so I decided to drag her to my favorite cat cafe. She was unsure at first but she opened up and even took a liking to a few, this was my first time seeing her smile like that. From then on we visited a lot of my favorite places and even found some of her favorites around the small city.
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Today was the expected day of kittens from my two favorite cats we have been expecting Tom and mina to have kittens. I realize I'm pushy but she looks happy at least so I try to make the most of every moment together since I'm still waiting on my doctor. After spending a couple of hours here with her I think I understand more about how joy feels about me. If I wasn't sick perhaps I could take a step of faith and live my life more freely.
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Joy; " Earth to Cassie"
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Cassie; " Huh sorry what?"
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Joy; " You were staring at me deeply you know."
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Cassie; " I was not it was the kitten on your shoulder."
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Joy; " Ah the kitten stole all the charm huh well I must say I'm offended"
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Cassie; " Oh my God hush you, come on I have one more thing planned for today."
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After we put the kittens and cats down I lead her by the hand out of the cafe. It just felt natural after I did it and my hand kind of had a mind of its own. We made idle conversation while we walked to my last surprise of the night, I want her to have happy memories just in case. And the beach at this time is vacant and beautiful surely this is gonna be perfect.
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Joy; " You okay Cassie?"
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Cassie; " Yea of course I'm just excited."
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Joy; " Your also a bad liar I know you been spacing out today thinking on something. You can talk to me you know."
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Cassie; " We'll everything been going well enough for my doctor visits but they don't know if they have an expert on hand you know. That was the problem back home small hospitals with a smaller budget."
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Joy; " Everything is gonna be fine Cassie ill make sure of it."
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Cassie; " Do you have a secret power I don't know about to change fate Joy. Ah, look the sun is perfect at this moment. The beauty here is truly amazing, this beach is tranquility."
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I didn't feel her move but I felt her lips before I felt her hands, surprised but I accepted without hesitation. This was the first time we went over the friendship line but it's amazing.
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Joy; " Everything is gonna be fine someone taught me all you need is the resolve. Well I have it and I'm not gonna let this fail, I'll move mountains just watch me."
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I couldn't help the tears that followed as her words dripped like honey I absorbed them all. She gave me hope and even though I drew a line between us she wasn't afraid to assure me and share her resolve. I didn't want to be the reason she was alone in this world if this fails, but with words like that, it's impossible.
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Cassie; " What was that for"
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Joy; " I just felt an urge to convey my feelings to you and this was the only way I know. Sorry"
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Cassie; " Don't be sorry"
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That was my first and this time I made the move to kiss her this time, I hope you know how scared I am joy. I wish you had better paths in life because this all seems so cruel.
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Joy; " Come on let's go home"
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Cassie; " Yea but your cooking"
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Joy; " Then you can make desserts"
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Cassie; " I'm terrible at them you know this"
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Joy; " They are perfectly terrible"
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As we walked home we made another memory going forward I want to keep this line drawn but my heart is heavy.
ns 15.158.61.20da2
