After speaking with my mother last week about my real dad, I had to do a lot of thinking. Thinking if I should go see him or leave well enough alone. A lot of questions danced about my mind.
*What if he doesn't want to see me? What if he is as bad as Leo? What if he's worse than Leo? What if...what if...what if...*
That's all I could think about as I hesitated and my bag packing slows for the week long trip in Atlanta.
I enjoyed spending time with my mother. After the info dump about everything I've been wanting to know, we spent the rest of the night talking and laughing. It finally felt like I had my mother back.
I left her house around 1am and went straight to Santos' house to tell him what I learned. He opened the door in navy blue jogging pants and a white tank top. My eyes lit up and I was thankful that it was dark.
"And you want to go see him?" He asks me with an arched brow as he brought me a glass of water.
"I really do. I mean...I have questions." I play with the rim of the glass.
He sits by me, "well, do you need me to go with you?"
I snort, "No, I’ll be alright. I have endured a lot of shit over the years. I am sure there is nothing more he can say to make me feel any lower than I already do."
A negative thought crosses my mind, but I push it to the back. I stretch, “I have to get going. I have asked for a week off so I can go do this before I lose my nerve.”
“Let me know when you get there and how things go.” Santos tells me while walking me to my car.
“I will.”
Finished with packing, I look through my bathroom to make sure I have everything. I stare at myself in the mirror. “Come on, Aza. You can do this.”
I grab my suitcase and roll it out the door.
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