After having tutored Lyssa earlier this morning, I am beat. Lyssa knows her stuff in all the subjects she has. She told me that she just doesn't think she is good enough to be in college. She felt as though everyone else knows what is going on except her.
"Lyssa, it's college. It's going to be that way. All you have to do is keep your head up. You know this stuff and you are very smart. You can totally do this." I point to the math book.
She looks down at it and smiles, "I do, don't I?"
"Yes, you do. You just have to apply yourself and study hard. Other than that, you got this shit." I close the math book.
"Thanks, Azaireyah. I guess I was just overwhelmed with everything and Charli always pushing me to do my homework like she is my mother or something. It gets frustrating."
"You should tell her that. Maybe she will stop. She just wants what's best for you and she is trying to look out for you. That's all."
"I know, but she is going about it all wrong. I don't work well under pressure. But, I will talk to her and see what she says." She gathers her things and stuffs them in her book bag. "I hope she understands." Lyssa sighs.
"I am sure she will." We stand up and I walk her to the door. She hugs me, "Thank you for helping me."
I hug her back, "You are welcome. Anytime you need help, I will be here. Unless I move." I throw that last part in there for giggles.
She giggles and I smile. "See ya, Aza."
"See ya." She leaves and that is my cue to get started on baking biscuits and bagels and pastries and making coffee for my siblings when they arrive in the next hour or so.
I called my siblings last night and told them what I just learned, not of my real father but of mother wanting to leave Leo, my foster dad. We make a time for them to arrive. They arrive around ten in the morning.
Justin is 26 years old with brown eyes and hair, standing at six feet even, with chocolate brown skin. He looks around the table us. He left the house a little after I did.
Chichi is 22 years old and looks like Justin, but with curly brown hair and long eyelashes, she stands at five feet even with olive brown skin. She is on her phone but looks up when she feels Justin's eyes on her. She worked hard in high school as I did and got to graduate early and go to college as well. She is taking up Biochemistry right now after changing her major three times.
Last is Lane who is 20 years old with cognac brown eyes and dyed black hair, he stands at five feet eight inches tall with chocolate brown skin. He was the last to leave; Leo didn't want him to leave and promised him that he would do better as a father. Lane believed him and stayed, but he soon realized that his father was full of lies and left. Lane enrolled in the army and spent a few years studying in Japan. He moved worlds away to get away from Leo.
I place a coffee pot, condiments, biscuits, and cups in the middle of the porch table outside where we are sitting. I sit down and look around the table at my siblings and think of the hell we have endured over the years at the hands of our father. We made it out and are now living the lives we feel we deserved.
"I spoke to mama yesterday," I speak up. "She is planning to leave Leo...er...dad."
Chichi sighs, "She always says she is going to leave him, but never does." She reaches for a biscuit and begins to peel the steamy layers off, "I will be surprised if she actually does leave him."
"Yeah," Lane agrees taking a cup and the coffee pot, he pours himself a cup, "she is a great woman, but I think dad is all she knows."
I look to Lane, "Please tell me you are on my side with this?"
He looks at me, my older brother is a man of few words, but when he speaks everyone seem to listen intently. I think he should have joined the army as well. "I hate to burst your bubble on this one, Aza. But, they are right. Mom has had this talk with us before but nothing ever happens."
I slump in my chair, then lean forward, "What if she does leave him? What if this time she does want better for herself?"
"Then that would be the day hell freezes over," Chichi chimes.
"Exactly. Plus, what she is going to do? She never worked, she doesn't have a car. Well, she might now after she begged dad for one to go shopping with and run errands." Lane remembers. "He gave it to her, but it was a piece of junk. It kept breaking down on her and when she would call him to come get her; he would ignore her phone calls. She still stayed with him. I wish I had a girl that was loyal like that." He takes a sip of the steaming coffee and pants like a dog when the coffee burns his tongue.
"Right," Justin agrees with Lane. He reaches for a bagel. "Mom did have a few jobs, though. But, dad would always find a way to sabotage them and make her stay at home and wait on him hand and foot."
"This is a shame that none of you believe in her," I say throwing my towel in.
"We are sorry, Aza. But, after she has told us she is going to leave him so many times, then doesn't. It's kind of hard to believe her when she is being real." Chichi explains to me eating the rest of her biscuit.
"Chichi is right, Aza. We have to see if she actually does this time and if she does, I will help her find a place." Justin tells me. He is in the real estate business and makes a large profit. He also flips houses on the side as a hobby. Anything dealing with construction he is your go-to guy, right now he is taking up welding. Soon he will be a force to be reckoned with.
I run my fingers through my hair. "Okay, on another note. I am thinking about going to college."
All eyes are on me now. "We thought you would have been the first to go, Azaireyah. What have you been doing this whole time?" Chichi asks me picking another biscuit from the bowl.
I don't want to tell them the things I have been doing. I don't want to disappoint them. "I have been working. Trying to get money before I go to college," A partial truth slips from my lips. "I now want better for myself and I don't want to be living like this."
"Like this?" Lane repeats as he looks around at the condominium with an arched brow. "What is this?"
They don't know the kind of boys I am into or how I get the things I have. I don't want them to know that I date the thugs Justin has always warned me about. I don't want them to know the things I have done to get what I have as well. Just thinking about them still embarrass me till this day.
I dish out a quick reply, "I want something bigger, something I can decorate. I can't decorate this. I can barely hang pictures on the walls."
My siblings nod in unison understanding. I breathe out a sigh of relief. I surely do not want to explain to them my relationship history right now. We end our conversation on a positive note and without me having to explain anything to them about whom I was with and why. A calm relief sweeps over me and I make myself some hot tea and a bubble bath. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWlqG73bVJy
