"So, you going to tell me why we are going to Stanford."
"To see Jessie." Is all I say.
The freeway to Stanford is free today, so we won't have to be stuck in traffic, and give me time to chicken out and turn back around.
"Wait, are you serious! What- well why?"
"I need to talk to her about everything that went on with us. I need to let the past go."
"Finally, I thought you would hold that grudge forever. Have you rehearsed what you are going to say?"
"No, I was just going to show up and wing it. I'll be able to find the words once I get there."
I roll down the windows of the car, letting the cool winds blow in our hair and faces. The weather is fairly nice today, usually, it's hot as hell, but today it's cooling. Stanford is only an hour away from Berkeley, so it shouldn't take us that long to get there.
This is the only day I could do this since in two days we leave for Washington for the game. For the next two days until the game, we will be practicing and I'll be working and taking some tests for classes before I leave.
This is the only day.
"Why now? You've had, what, three years to do this and you're doing it now. What changed? I remember you telling me you never wanted to see her face again." I did say that.
"That's when I was young and angry."
She laughs, "It was like two months ago."
"Yes, I was younger two months ago, now I'm mature." She just rolls her eyes, laughing. "I'm making amends in my life and this is one of them."
"This seems like a personal thing to do, why are you asking me along."
"It's just- you're such a calming person, and you would be the only person to calm me down. Like a stress ball." I try to find reasons. I don't want her to know that Jace begged me to take her with me.
"Don't lie to me, you seem hesitant to ask me in the room. Did Jace make you invite me?"
"What?" I say, shocked. "No, he did not. You know I had to beg him to let me take you. The guy was in wrecks to see you go."
She scoffs, "I highly doubt it. I know that he wants me out of that room so he could relax, you don't think I know when my boyfriend doesn't want me around. I know that I've been driving him crazy, and I didn't want to do that, but I needed to be there and take care of him. Jace is my world, I love him to death and when those nurses weren't taking care of him the way he should've been taken care of, it drove me mad." She becomes quiet for a moment. "When I saw him go down on that field, my heart dropped in my chest. For a second, I swear to you, I thought he was dead. He landed so harshly, and the way his body practically flew. I know I probably embarrassed him by running on the field, but I needed to know he was ok. And he was, ok I mean."
"Jace is strong, Monica. He'll get better over time. Does he need PT?"
"I think so. He might be all smiles, but I know that's he's wrecked about having to sit out this season and who knows if he'll be ok for next season if there even is a next season."
I clutch her hand in mine, "Everything will be ok."
"I know it will. I know."
We spend the rest of the drive to the Stanford campus listening to music and just being in peace. I drive the car into the Stanford campus, tons of students are walking around, some lay on the quad while the others do homework. This is my first time being on the Stanford campus. When we went up against them in the past, they always came to our campus, mostly because our record was better than theirs.
"Do you know where she is?"
"The Delta house. I heard a couple of months ago that she joined a sorority, and she talked my head off in high school about joining one after she watched "Legally Blonde". It should be right up here." I pull onto Greek row. Tons of huge, Victorian houses pass up by. Coming up on the end was the Delta house, no cars or people were outside it. I hope she's here.
I park the car on the side of the road, and just sit in my seat, staring at the house. She's just a couple of steps away, all I have to do is get out of the car, talk to her and leave.
Why aren't my legs moving, why isn't my body moving, am I even breathing?
"Andreas, you going in? I can go in with you if you want."
"No." I hold up my hand. "I need to do this on my own, it's imperative. If I need you, I'll just text."
I leave the car running for Monica. My legs trudge up the driveway, passing bushes of flowers and a weird gnome figure. My hand raps on the door.
A small, blonde girl answers the door. She had on glasses and was wearing a sunflower dress. "How may I help you?"
"I'm looking for Jessie Angello, is she here?"
"Yeah, she's upstairs. Come on in." She closes the door behind me. "The living room is right through there; I'll go get her."
This house is huge and grand. In the front of the house was a dining room with no people in it. Up the stairs was a row of pictures of girls. I'm assuming those are the past sorority presidents. I follow the blonde girls' directions to the living room.
It was very elegant here. The walls were tan with various decorations on them. It was so much space in here that they were able to fit a piano. A fireplace was centered in the living room, and my finger trailed over the picture of Jessie with her sisters. They were all smiling, kneeling on the ground with splatters of paint all over them.
She looks so happy.
"When Amy told me you were here, I didn't believe it at first." I turn to see Jessie standing at the entrance. She has on a Stanford sweatshirt with black jeans and no shoes. Her toes were painted purple, her favorite color.
"If you don't want me here, I can leave. The last time I saw you, I was rude to you."
Her laugh was wry, "Yes, you were. You can't leave now; it was an hour's drive from Berkeley to here, you'd be wasting gas, and with the cost of it going up, especially here in California. Come on, sit down." We both walk over to the couch, to give me space, she sits in the recliner while I take the love seat.
I wring my hands together, not knowing where to start.
"So, how have you been?" She asked me.
"Uh, fine, I guess. School has been fine, and so has work and football. I'll be going to Washington later this week to go against them. What about you?"
She scrunches up her nose, her freckles are prominent. I remember that being my favorite thing about her, her freckles. She would always hate that I said that, finding her freckles to be ugly on her.
"Do you really care about how I'm doing?" She asked seriously.
"Yes! I wouldn't have asked if I didn't."
"Alright. I've only been here for a couple of months, and it's been nice. The girls here are fun and made me feel welcome. It did help that Stanford has the best cognitive science program I've ever seen, a plus. I got a job working at the diner down the street. I don't know what else to say." She laughs awkwardly.
It takes every ounce of stability to say this, "How's James?"
Her eyes widen, "He's doing good. The football teams giving him a hard time since he's new, but he's been a champ about it. He doesn't know what to major in here, saying nothing looks interesting to him. I've been edging him to do something with math." James is a math genius; he can do problems in his head faster than a calculator.
"What about you guys' relationship?"
"We've been good, Andreas. After you caught us at my house, it was rocky at first. Once we realized that you would never talk to us again, we moved on. It was the only thing we could do. Why did you come down here to see me?"
"I wanted to talk about you and James. I've been harboring anger with what happened three years ago, I want to let it go, move on. I need to forgive you and to do that, I need to hear why you did what you did." She looks at me like she's not sure if I'm tricking her or being serious. "I swear Jessie, I'm not here to judge or yell or get angry, I just want to listen. Where everything went wrong."
I roll my shoulders back, leaning on the sofa cushions, getting comfortable to hear the story.
ns 18.68.41.140da2
