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I am quietly installed in my office. This is my own place, in this family home. Far from the adventures of my children, I appreciate being able to breathe calmly from time to time. There, I decompress and take the time to think, to drown myself in my thoughts, in my memories.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ38CuxpfmiP
Suddenly there is a knock at the door. I quickly slip the photo I had been looking at for several minutes into the pocket of my blouse, and pretend to be concentrating on a file. I barely have time to say, “Come in” when the door opens to reveal my daughter. At seventeen and a half years old, she has behaved like a real tornado since the start of her adolescence, four years earlier. However, in her face framed by long brown hair, childhood can still be seen.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfWPOQKXRyq
— Mom, I need to talk to you about something super important ! 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKPmYWlyAIh
I suppress a smile. With Orlane, everything is always mega important ! 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMRK52FmPUD
— Ok I hear you.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzG4uEh5pRL
— With Alexandra, we would like to get a tattoo ! She says, excited, as if it’s the best news of the year.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Sde93vJFt
— A tattoo ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeqJLzChoBp
She nods energetically.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡze5hleCi1t
— While you are still a minor ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVaQ9NbuCM9
— Soon to be an adult.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd0RHF0nPAw
— Yes, so seventeen years and counting.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXT8k5OZlrF
— If you say so. So, is it yes ? I need parental consent to do this.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9ZDguu7qA
— No way ! 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBs1JVK3QG0
As I expected, my daughter's face turns an angry red, while her light eyes darken.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNzPXVqwH9E
— You never let me do anything cool ! She shouts, slamming the door behind her.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNU347whgvc
Another of these great classics is to avoid any discussion by taking long strides. I hear him scream.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnuIQ26hqAq
— She always forbids me from everything ! She’s never there for us ! 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIEgBs4nEte
— You exaggerate ! Mom is always there whenever we need her, tries to calm my son down in a paternalistic tone.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWPsAN9U3Y1
Calm, thoughtful and very mature in nature for a young man of sixteen, my son has a character that is the polar opposite of that of his sister.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeP3GqS98eV
— She’s not a cool mother ! 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc7rCPzgsBH
I decide to join them in the kitchen.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEeb7vpusxP
— If being fashionable means letting you drink alcohol, do drugs, let you date anyone, or allow you to get tattoos, then no, I'm not cool...322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFGEo84oFLt
— But why don’t you want to ? After all, it’s just a little drawing on the skin, adds my daughter with a pout.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡplNUQY12Kj
My God, how tenacious she is… Like me ultimately.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqmph37sDZP
— Orlane, the day you want to get a tattoo for a good reason, I will accept, but not to be like your friends.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk3prjZ6TnQ
My son looks at us, imperturbable.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqqujDbxvvX
— You definitely have a tattoo ! She accuses me, angrily.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5MaJSktIQQ
I look down, weighing the pros and cons, and end up telling them : 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwpbh0SIEId
— Follow me to the living room, both of you. I need to talk to you.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ01FFmhfPVU
Without a word, they accompany me, and each sit in one of the large armchairs, facing mine.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYn87Wg3o2
— You are both old enough now for me to tell you a story. And please don't interrupt me. The story I am about to tell you is personal to me, but it is important that you know it, because it has made us who we are.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZBLnvRJlLa
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It all started on September 26, 1991 : 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡehioSJ8sWH
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Autumn has not yet arrived although the leaves of the trees are starting to turn red under the less intense rays of the sun.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdPI9ApxmMz
I detail my reflection while doing my hair in front of the mirror. I don't think I'm pretty, although many people tell me otherwise. I'm not very tall, I don't have the figure of a top model, in fact, I find myself rather ordinary. Not to mention this damn hair that refuses to stay styled the way I want it ! Giving up trying to tame them, I abandon my hairbrush and go down the stairs of the house. I'm so happy to be in high school where I'm now one of the big guys. Sixteen is the age where my real life begins, the age where my parents finally treat me like an adult and no longer like an immature child. The age when all dreams are achievable and desires possible.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡduUAs8jl5L
My mind escapes for a moment to fly towards Chad, my boyfriend of several months. Chad is young, handsome, athletic and intelligent when he manages to stay focused long enough on his homework instead of thinking about sports, which is hard for him. He's not very tall, but built like a sportsman : all muscles. I like his black hair in a crew cut, and his hazel eyes. We have known each other since childhood. I had been secretly in love with him for years. In high school, I was known for being the type of serious girl, always top of the class, which did not attract boys, much to my despair. Chad is the most popular boy in school, so there was no chance he would be interested in me until a teacher asked me to help him with math. When he finally asked me to go out with him, I couldn't believe it anymore.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBWKYvVK2vY
For six months, Chad and I have been in perfect love...322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ38O5O62iwK
Okay, we only exchanged chaste kisses, we don't go out much, instead spending our time watching movies at his house. I also admit that contrary to what I had always imagined, I don't feel this passion that romance novels boast about, perhaps this is due to the fact that we have few things in common. When Chad kisses me, I have the horrible feeling of kissing my best friend but I’m sure that with time, our story will become more intense, passionate and that this feeling will disappear. After all, he’s the one I always wanted so everything will work out in the end.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLBS4chMELM
Letting out a romantic sigh, I enter the kitchen. Almost my entire family is gathered there : Ashley and John, my parents as well as Nina, my younger sister. The only thing missing is Nicolas, my big brother who recently left for New York University and who only comes home for the holidays.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEzfTtx3f3f
— My little Megan… The more I see you, the less you look like my baby, my mother laments, staring at me.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgmwnL68B41
She isn’t very tall, she has a face with soft features that charms most people she meets. I get her brown hair and blue eyes from her. She always expresses herself calmly, but with conviction.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ZS20HBICa
I act as if his rantings don't matter to me.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC1K5q2wgae
— Mom, I’ll always be your daughter. And then, you have Nina as a baby…322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdIABOsBbSX
My sister makes a face. At thirteen, she sees herself more as a teenager than as the youngest member of the family.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyYICwk2wyX
— Are you still planning to go to Chad’s party tonight ? How many will you be ? Asks my father before swallowing his coffee.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcWdWG55XIC
— Yes I’m going. There will be about fifty of us.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOvUcjAUvYI
My father coughs and chokes.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq6gPiVrjK4
— That much ? Ask my mother in turn.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhClUWS35R
I nod yes.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Q7DWSmo7l
— There will be the whole class as well as Chad's friends, that's a lot of people, he's very popular at school.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq5hc3z9J1o
— That’s true, my father agrees with a touch of pride.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaFwltPV4jj
Even though he tends to be overprotective, I love my father very much. I find him a handsome man for his age. At forty, his dark brown hair begins to take on gray shades at the temples and expression lines slowly creep into his angular face, further marking his smile and his frown.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMAWp0GMHnW
My father works in construction, his specialty is facade maintenance. He judges each house by the quality of its exterior paint ! My mother is a secretary in a real estate agency, which doesn't excite her, but she has fixed hours, which suits her perfectly. We are a middle class American family. We live in a residential neighborhood in the small town of Millisky, Pennsylvania, where almost everyone knows each other, if only by sight. The town has around five thousand souls. We have a hospital, shops, restaurants, cinemas, and even a large shopping center, so we never get bored. In addition, our town is surrounded by a beautiful forest which allows for long walks, we also have a lake about five kilometers to the south. To the west, a hill overlooks the city, it is the chic district where all the local bourgeois have built their beautiful homes, which most often only serve as second homes. To the north, a highway takes us to Pittsburgh, the nearest major city, a two hour drive, and to the east, Philadelphia is a three hour drive.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgPGeyrzGGN
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A little later that day, I'm in the main hallway of the school. It is a large white building, some classrooms have faded walls, originally cream-colored, and the same goes for places of frequent passage. The central corridor has on each side of its walls, two rows of gray lockers stacked on top of each other. I take some books from mine when, turning around, I see a boy of average height, with brown hair and light eyes, walk past me. He looks at me furtively. When I meet his gaze, I feel like I'm falling from a ten- story building. It's a strange thing I've never felt before and it only lasts a few seconds. Coming to my senses, I tell myself that I must be going crazy.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ST88jpvj0
— Not bad, admires Amy, my best friend, who followed my gaze.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmJwHbQwv1S
— New student ? I'm asking perfunctorily as I'm sure I've never seen it before.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmojkoNMKF
— I’ll find out, says my friend, narrowing her eyes with interest.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVqg7NRY7rK
— In any case, he’s very cute, I can’t help but point out.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSAxyibm4aH
— You're the one who says that, even though you're dating the hottest boy in school ! She exclaims, shocked.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr64fVDrJqN
I smile, remembering that Chad never wanted to go out with her. He preferred me. It's so rare for a boy to reject her that I know she harbors a little resentment towards me. She has never told me openly but sometimes, like this moment, she throws a little barb at me. Without being mean, it gets heavy some days. However, she has been my friend for so long that I don't see myself falling out with her over such a small matter.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiev82j8e3k
Later that day, in history class, I am fascinated by the documentary that the professor shows us concerning the liberation of Europe during the Second World War. This is not the first report I have seen on the subject but each time, I am caught up in the violence, the abomination of this conflict. When the images of the concentration camps appear on the screen, I look away. This is too hard for me, so I concentrate on a completely different theme. Since the start of the course, I have had the strange sensation of feeling observed. As I turn to scan the class, I see the new student sitting two rows behind me, his eyes fixed on me. When he realizes that I have noticed him, he returns his gaze to the screen. I imitate him but after a few seconds, I turn around again.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjHJ501kqJZ
Grid ! I thought, giving a hint of a smile as he refocused on the documentary. For long minutes, I no longer dared to move. It's stupid but this boy intimidates me.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQne2UjCa1
When the film ends, I turn in my seat to follow the teacher as he walks around the class summarizing what we just saw. The newcomer is still staring at me. His look is indecipherable.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHOB5J1fARA
— Imagine these families separated during endless years of war, imagine their suffering. If you had been in their place, would you have chosen resignation in the face of the invader or would you have opted for resistance ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz5mLZrUdqH
I raise my hand, certain of my answer.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyiHspBYoYn
— Yes Megan.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ25cRQ7dx1Q
— I would have chosen resistance. Faced with injustice, I think I would have been incapable of looking at the situation without taking part in the fight.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq9y2hgFEnF
— Good. Someone else's opinion ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXVqplZqghp
Many raise their hands including the new one.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy6cAQXwcEi
— And you, what do you think ? Asks the teacher, addressing him.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Z4JSpldKF
— I believe that with hindsight, it is easy to give your opinion, but at that time, people who engaged in the resistance ran enormous risks, not only for themselves but also for those close to them. All this must be taken into consideration.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVcqIk0ItF4
— Perfect, Jessy ! 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJt21vEuc37
Jessy… 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGou0rCRHBs
I have a hard time taking my eyes off him even though his name resonates within me.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ADPngQs4Y
— For the next class, you will write me a presentation on this subject, continues the professor.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQdg7wXwKz
The bell announcing the end of classes rings, the new guy immediately picks up his things and leaves, bowing his head. It makes me feel like I'm running away from the whole world.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyMQeCQ9vfT
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I head to the bathroom to put some gloss on my lips and find my friends Amy and Pearl there.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhJ1uIksat
— So, Meg, where are you with Chad ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1jIF2w6oYC
My cheeks immediately turn red.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpXcU24LEt9
— There is nothing to say.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5XXESOOvZ0
— Don’t tell us you haven’t done it yet, Amy insists.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAqXmNij41H
— Well no… Well, I mean, do you feel ready ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPYoDgGa5z3
Amy shrugs. I know she hasn't been a virgin for some time.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeGtViWTG2e
— There’s no reason, Pearl assures. You're with the boy you've always wanted, so why not go all the way ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvLTglNXuBP
These words make me think more than they should. I've been dreaming about Chad for years, so why do I feel this stuck ? Why don't my feelings push me to open up completely ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKJ9u8anjwW
I feel lost and I know perfectly well that it's not my friends I could confide in. They would immediately judge me, thinking I'm crazy for asking myself a thousand questions when I'm dating a great guy.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN1aQw2kAV4
If only Nick were here, I thought with regret.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9gQ1gRAHxK
My brother would be able to advise me perfectly. It's crazy how much I miss him. Looking forward to the next vacation so he can come back to see us.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKf6ZlL3Fv
— By the way, have you seen the new one ? Pearl continues, arranging her brown hair in front of the mirror. He is too beautiful ! 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡynSMIehanj
It’s true that he is beautiful ! A finely sculpted body without being skinny and a face with fine features that I find refined, piercing green eyes lined with long eyelashes, slightly messy light brown hair... I also memorized the little chain with at the end a cross that dangles from his left ear giving him a little rebellious side that I find sexy.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJYXxDYuc9X
— I learned a few things about him...322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEX2T5DM6zT
This simple sentence from Amy focuses all my attention.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDXsgGT8830
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A few hours later, at the end of classes, I found my father in the high school parking lot. This day is important to me. I pass my driving license. I am confident, because for several weeks, Chad has been teaching me everything there is to know and, according to him, I am ready.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡswUWaVkxgE
— Megan, we need to talk, my father begins.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0NfkPbtObq
Already knowing that I am going to be treated to a moral lesson, I hold back a sigh.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4hBkiNtAMy
— It’s about that party at Chad’s. You know I trust you, but... knowing you with him until late...322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMz8LCHoEKl
When I don't answer, he continues : 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡulYtA20Bvf
— Will you be… serious this evening ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjv5oxCs25A
— Dad, I'm still a virgin and I don't plan on that changing tonight.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjV8j5jfe2n
— Thank God, he breathes with relief after grimacing.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ22hoEwtFYh
Shortly after, we return home, me with my license in my pocket and my father with the certainty that I am still innocent.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5XYZYjaLve
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In the evening, I found Chad at his house. He lives in a large, modern and chic house, close to the city center. Their villa includes three bedrooms with an independent bathroom, a games room, an office, a fully equipped kitchen and a gigantic living room which, that evening, easily accommodated fifty guests. Outside, in a garden, in which my entire house could fit, is a heated swimming pool. As the girlfriend of the owner of the house, I make a grand entrance. I'm wearing a pretty black silk dress, perfectly fitted, which suits me perfectly. I turn heads as I pass, especially Chad who only has eyes for me. The party is in full swing, the whole class has gathered there.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIaAYbV8RU1
I'm chatting with Amy in the corner of the room, when I spot the new student, Jessy, standing a little further away. He observes me while chatting with Stanley, a friend of my brother. He stares at me and gives me a small smile to which I can't help but respond.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLp2x86T7Z5
Why am I blushing ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsbh3cP6ZU0
— This guy is so hot. I'm going to go and get to know each other, Amy said to me, scrutinizing Jessy.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqylngNQL7W
Without knowing why, my heart sinks.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyHXuHLBMES
— Amy…, my reaction is stupid. You look very pretty with this dress.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD1i7UhB37T
She smiles. I see her approach Jessy, Stanley quickly walks away while Amy launches into a tirade, pointing out several people in the room. She must inform him of the gossip that is circulating. I can't help the pang of jealousy that creeps into me when I see her place a hand on Jessy's arm. At this moment, he looks up at me, his expression is indecipherable. I have to look elsewhere... But I can't do it.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXF9GcpZWfk
— Are you okay, Meg ? You're having fun ? Chad appears in front of me and places his hands on my hips.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbjmncMGwKa
Finally I take my eyes off Amy and the new guy. I have to think about something other than his green eyes which make me feel like they are penetrating my soul.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2rOK0Dkyg7
I place my lips on my boyfriend's in a brief kiss.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh2zqNTOFKC
— Where were you ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbOIrVkrtmq
— I was walking around the house. Haven't you noticed that some people look like they've been drunk ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh1KPoY0Xrs
— Yes, I met Matt earlier, he reeked of alcohol.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPIYbwMfqLo
— Great, Chad breathes, annoyed. If my parents find out about this, I'm dead.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMO27NsHEo4
I glance in Jessy and Amy’s direction. He has disappeared while she returns to us, blowing : 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpq9LVRMvQg
— This guy is weird ! 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6mIKGyIEH
— What happened with Jessy ? I said, trying to contain my relief.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCU7LMG4wNO
— I don’t know, I was talking to him and, suddenly, he went out to get some fresh air. Who invited him anyway ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTgGitGPzGe
— It's me. We had a class together, I told him it would be the best way to meet people.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2fC0hqY14Y
How nice Chad is ! That's why I love him, my heart reminds me.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡARxkKiYBlY
— I’m going to try to find out who brought the alcohol, he continues.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1SHcs4AnoT
— I am coming with you.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaRDr94ytdT
We leave Amy in the living room and head towards the kitchen. A group of American football players, of which Chad is the quarterback, are seated there.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76e0vhcfHN
— Damn, you guys are annoying ! I warned you though : no alcohol.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUKzBOzg0SP
My boyfriend raises his voice.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF4r26hKK9r
— Relax, Chad, it's just beers.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt6f44advPn
— Beers or not, if my parents find out I'll be in big trouble, get rid of it ! 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNPhRkK3Q8G
The five young people take their bottles while complaining and drop one which spills down the front of my dress.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzGBBtojbSo
— It’s clever ! Chad exclaims as I gape.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB9HKl1xdgg
I grab a roll of paper towels and try to wipe the alcohol off, to no avail.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVlV6ridar
— Come with me, my boyfriend said, taking me by the hand. I don't mean to be offensive, but you stink of alcohol. We're going to have problems with your parents if you leave like that again.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnoTD4HC5G7
— I know, it’s because of your stupid friends ! 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡizzbUndyDP
— I'm sorry. I have an idea. Go take a shower, and in the meantime, I'll wash and dry your dress and off you go, neither seen nor known ! 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiOLtxuuVtc
Having little choice, I accept.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBIyVsMrEOO
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Several minutes later, which seemed like an eternity, I found Chad in his room. I am in my bathrobe and my boyfriend is holding my clean dress in his hands when there is a knock at the door. Neither of us has time to make a move that Amy and Pearl are already initiating. They stand in the doorway, look at us and mutter an apology before closing the door, giggling.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1IfGkA5QRp
— Great, they’re going to think anything now, I mutter angrily.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZIHP1n1hMC
— But no, they are your friends. You just need to explain the situation to them when we get down.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmKZWYb21eF
I'm not convinced, but Chad is right, they are my friends, they will definitely believe me. And then, I have nothing to reproach myself for.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVGyzO1SI69
Clearly, this evening is far from being the evening I dreamed of ! 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCK2DstIsH3
When we join the guests on the ground floor, I immediately feel that they are staring at me with eloquent little smiles. I'm going to pour myself a glass of non alcoholic punch when Amy and Pearl come to talk to me.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPu5SbZn5R5
— So, Meg, how was it ? Is Chad as good a shot as he seems ? Amy asks me, with a spark of curiosity in her eyes.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ60RmDGT3z8
— What are you talking about ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ62Tum7CBJR
— Of you and Chad half naked in his room ! 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡur5I1XDSlo
— That’s not at all what you think ! Nothing happened ! Some idiots had spilled beer on me. I had to take a shower while Chad cleaned my dress and he was dressed in case you didn't notice ! 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0gzg4lnxBM
It annoys me to have to justify myself as if I had committed a crime.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRC8bygI03x
— But of course ! Pearl replies, giggling with Amy before walking away towards other students in our class.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLUTVztMrd8
This story is crazy, and the worst part is that no one wants to believe me, not even my best friends, at least the ones I thought were real friends. The looks that I already found embarrassing became even more insistent, and shame invaded me. It’s a shame to feel this ! Sensing my discomfort, Chad comes to join me.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtD0G4k64FJ
— I'm going back.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡofpM2U0RMR
— But no, stay, you're not going to let these idiots ruin your evening ! 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIJJQFS9ZSJ
He hugs me tightly to reassure me, but322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6PMJqpPLjr
I gently push him away. There are already enough comments as it is, there is no point in adding more.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjgAJkMBVtg
— No, I'm going back. See you tomorrow ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ1MQ23UEar
Disappointed, he acquiesces. I kiss him on the tips of his lips as we usually do.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEcl4U2WiWC
— You don’t want me to take you home ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfb4IxKPq7j
— I need to walk...322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQrLa23MBHo
322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhmHmIoYJr
It feels good to be alone and to be able to enjoy the peace and quiet of the cool night. The moon just makes a crescent in the sky. Looking up, I admire the stars which, far from everything, don't care about the gossip that runs on Earth. Tears burn my eyes, I feel more alone than ever on this Earth which is definitely not running smoothly.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡibDq9tyo11
— Did you need to get some fresh air ? A soft voice nearby asks, bringing me out of my reverie.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDeqapSIjdM
Jessy is by my side, looking up to the sky.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzoOm2ZcbyZ
— Yes. Exactly. You too ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrxWX1IcWIz
This is the first time I've seen him up close. Immediately, my heart races. A small diamond shines in his ear, replacing the cross he wore during the day. Two locks frame his forehead, falling in front of his eyes when he lowers his head. I know I shouldn't stare at him like that, but I can't help it. I feel like an insect attracted by a light that hypnotizes it. He looks at me, gives me a smile. Why do I feel so intimidated around him ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdjwnfDFF7N
A breath of wind rises, making me shiver. Jessy takes off his black leather jacket and hands it to me, I put it on and thank him. Does he notice my trouble ? I don't know, but from his piercing gaze, I suspect he's enjoying the situation.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW3a00qlOon
— Yes, I needed to get some fresh air too, I don’t really like crowds. I saw you leaving, I thought maybe you’d like some company ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdHNK1doqga
— If you want, I shrug casually while being happy that he noticed me. Jessy, is that right ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2zIIX48Lz2
He nods with a smile.
— I'm Meg...
— Megan, I know.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuGizNkPICz
I look at him, surprised.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2FMYmkFs6z
— Good. What else do you know about me ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH3oNbpQjg7
— Let’s see… You’re the best student in class, and you’re dating the star player of the football team.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTAdS2V2UiY
— You're good ! 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBlSCX02kqY
— I guess you must have heard something about me too ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡueIneSpO2G
— Not much, actually. I just know that you are seventeen, that you have just arrived in Millisky and that you are repeating your school year.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdounypiNVM
— Everything is true. It's not that serious ? What upsets you..., he adds to my astonishment.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUObH7NxWDU
— No, there are much worse things in life. It's nothing, just nonsense.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjRBgVYPJ6g
— If it’s so harmless, then why did you leave your boyfriend’s party ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0e1GAraejs
— Maybe because, this evening, I saw the true faces of my so called friends. My confidence in them melted like snow in the sun.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ87XbIyPgwJ
Jessy sighs as she looks up again to look at the starry sky.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZI0dF4FIi
— I know this feeling of disappointment well.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpvg7VipJvv
— Did this happen to you too ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ64PBVSsCYE
He seems surprised that I am interested in him and turns to me, burying his hands in the pockets of his pants.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5BpyY8ugiU
— To be betrayed, disappointed ? Oh yes ! Although I don't understand why your friends would turn their backs on you.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAjDJMJqOSr
— Haven't you heard the gossip spread by Amy and Pearl ? They told everyone that I slept with Chad. Even though I told them that this is not the case, they did not believe me, and worse, they preferred to continue to denigrate me.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh59Dtsod0B
As I tell him this, I search his eyes to check if he is sincere or if he is making fun of me like the others.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡipUc7EJABn
— I have learned to no longer listen, and even less believe, what people say out of pure malice or jealousy. I am convinced that you are telling the truth.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gpXa7vkgS
— You seem very sure of yourself for someone who doesn’t know me ! 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiMe5YArVRO
He locks his gaze on mine before responding : 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWWpIU34bPD
— I see in you.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ17rfjAE2Mw
This response leaves me speechless and upsets me more than it should. Faced with him, with his words, I feel lost. Fortunately, we arrived on my street and I just want to be alone to try to analyze what I feel.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaWct1O9H4I
— Thank you, I said, handing him back his jacket. And thank you for taking me home.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjHfukjGr7
— At your service, he says, turning left while I continue straight.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBVQmz1tOXl
322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlnsyboscVw
322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4pa5ZzGTwa
The following days, nothing erases this attraction which pushes me towards Jessy. This makes me feel so guilty that I try to focus on my relationship with Chad, without really succeeding. As for Jessy, I feel like he's been running away from me since the other night. He looks away as soon as I look at him and doesn't speak to me anymore. I don't know what I did wrong for him to ignore me like that, but it pains me a lot. Perhaps he also ended up believing the nonsense that was circulated about my relationship ? If that were the case, I would be extremely hurt.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhkawMTOCUt
It was during history class that the teacher gave me the opportunity to get closer to him.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzgcjOOtzt5
— I asked each of you to write a presentation on the last lesson.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLKpuyCUfq
At these words, several students point to their copy on their table.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0CchoWz6S3
— Jessy, can you pick them up ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOU6JdVkbHg
This one executes. When he reaches my height, his gaze finally anchors on mine. I feel like seconds are becoming minutes. At this very moment, I realize how much I've missed Jessy these past few days. His hand brushes against mine as I hand him my paper, making me want to grab it and never let go.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbU6Ny2fyWk
As if reading my thoughts, Jessy narrows his eyes slightly and purses his lips. Then he turns away towards the next table, breaking the spell that united us as the professor continues speaking : 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQuRSogcKL
— To find out what you have learned from this course, I have prepared a written quiz for you.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ31aOsdpIZW
Immediately, boos are heard.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡABWxTM1WIT
— Yes, I know, I'm not nice. While you answer the questionnaire, I will go through your presentations and form teams of two. For next week, you will have to refine your different points of view, compare them, in order to share them in front of the whole class.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFh1wNEv2m6
Although I am a good student, I don't particularly enjoy being on the board in front of everyone else and am already worried about who I will have to work with. As long as it's neither with Amy nor with322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYqELHcmOzl
Pearl. I haven't spoken to them since the party at Chad's.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ57hF4lPoah
They tried to come see me on Monday but I totally ignored them. Even if I find myself alone most of the time, Chad does not share all of my classes, I prefer that to being poorly accompanied.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnByWfIa9k6
For long minutes, I put these thoughts aside to concentrate on the questioning.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKSA7L44LCq
When I finish, I raise my head and look behind me, towards Jessy who finishes a few seconds after me.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjcH8lokRoH
The teacher notices us because he tells us : 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzuec7egJpO
— Alright. Megan and Jessy, you'll be teaming up next week. You can go.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡflFNIu33rd
At the same time, we get up and put our homework on the teacher's desk before leaving the classroom.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡobKD263o0G
I thought we were going to be able to discuss this project but already Jessy is quickly moving away.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4FCQhqsrSU
— Jessy, wait ! 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59vjExmCCr
He slows down, but doesn't stop.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4kpE2ZbEFE
— We need to discuss how we are going to approach this presentation.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP6icmqPXOF
His shoulders relax and he exhales.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6mvccOgDT7
— I don't like working with others. So I suggest you do your part on your own, I will do the same and we will meet again before the next class to compare our points of view.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyxFgiBOrec
— Thank you for your proposal but I refuse. There's no way I'm going to get a bad grade because you're antisocial.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCLFAQi94BP
— I'm not…322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgnlyTyoKSd
Before he finishes his sentence, I raise an eyebrow which interrupts him.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4vLofhttgv
— Okay, maybe I am a little, he admits with a little smile. Alright, you win Megan.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsjAzyF7iEu
Feeling like I need to take advantage of my advantage before he changes his mind, I quickly scribble my address on a piece of paper and hand it to him.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxpphqOvnMh
— Come to my place at the end of classes, we will be quiet to study.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ71IQxxuzJR
— Thanks for the address but we could just as easily meet up after school and go to your house together.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwIPqsfnmNq
Why didn't I think of that ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoB8EaBMYzP
I refrain from slapping myself.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOMV5WgFy8g
Embarrassed by my stupidity, I smile shyly. Jessy leans towards me, slips my address into his pocket and adds mischievously : 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡStsUgUArAI
— I'm keeping it anyway. You never know, you might get lost along the way.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX687Ed0CYn
I don't understand why just looking at him, talking to him, puts me in this state. I feel my cheeks on fire and I am certain that when I open my mouth, nothing but nonsense comes out.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtPkdy2BJU
But what is happening to me ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXy1OY6Dhcw
322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Gx2jBNVbA
During the next class, I feel Chad's gaze, sitting at the desk next to mine, weighing on me suspiciously. I do my best to appear comfortable and innocent until he hands me a paper.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWSXNxHP2BH
What's going on with Jessy ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHh3EV4NPVR
Astonished, I wrote : 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUoP4IJeppL
What ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3207H4EWKw
Chad's response was quick : 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe6qziQtyfA
Amy told me you two seem close and that I should be worried. It's the case ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1UVYqFasRq
Anger replaces disbelief. What the hell is his problem ? Is she not tired of taking care of my life, of making up stories for me ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEh9KjbUEfY
No, not at all. We just have a presentation to make together. 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe5qI10Plk6
A smile lights up Chad's features. I managed to reassure him, yet I fear I may not have been completely honest with him.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyatnZHwgJq
As I look at his profile, I have to recognize that my boyfriend no longer inspires in me the feelings that inspired me just a few months ago. I feel myself detaching myself from Chad, I come to wonder if I was only in love with him one day or if I have always confused love and friendship. Slipping my hands through my hair, I breathe deeply. The only thing I know for sure is that I am lost in my emotions.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVRqZjCW5dp
322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3RLgFw04c5
322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4q0qLeTHbm
At the end of class, Jessy comes to join me, backpack on his shoulder and a book in hand.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv2200u8drO
— I love this book. I must have read it about ten times since last year, he tells me. I thought you might like to read it ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDoxnHBqzTh
While walking the streets, I quickly skim a few pages.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWrgtruUhl
— Do you mind if I save it to read tonight ? I'll give it back to you tomorrow.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9CkIHH9CG0
— On the contrary. It’s so rare that I meet people who like to read something other than comics.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaS0YOXnFvE
— I understand you. Comics are Chad's favorite reading.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMg2KdafCHS
— I'm not surprised, Chad seems more of an athlete than a cerebral one.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHjUsnh0KTT
I am left speechless.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1pz1CT21r1
— Are you always this frank ? Can't help but ask him.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYQItNITbUd
He shrugs his shoulders while responding : 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQXYCY1FSi9
— Very often. I hurt you ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU5Bfrq6aIO
I thought for a few seconds before answering him.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiDk3eCVOUi
— No. I must admit that it is the truth.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuK5cwTlyYt
His smile widens, making me melt a little more.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWfE7rGxoWr
Arriving home, we sit in the living room and chat about the homework we have handed in. We both think we'll get good grades. My mother comes home from work and walks into the living room, surprising us. I suddenly feel uncomfortable being with a boy other than Chad under my parents' roof. I jump up, followed by my guest.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqi4YIX3Dcp
— Hey, Ch…, it’s not Chad, she smiled.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmhQZfwdDfP
— Mom, this is Jessy.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe3YxUOpZTj
They greet each other.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiakVX1DIAS
— We have a presentation to give to the whole class about the Second World War.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡamwgOu2qck
With a nod, Jessy confirms my words. Since my mother arrived, he hasn't said a word, and seems intimidated. This adds as evidence : 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyAOqpN42Ck
— Jessy, are you staying to eat with us this evening ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYHTLACj4n6
He shrugs his shoulders.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpVAdQlbN8e
— I don't want to bother you…322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZR5LnVbGEG
— Don't worry, I still cook too much since Nick left for college.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf953sPvQu6
— Nicolas is my older brother…322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjO916vcXg
— It would be a pleasure to have you with us. My husband is tired of being surrounded by girls.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp5VWwhSF58
— Okay then, Jessy said, smiling. Thanks ! 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzWSSk0w45K
A little later, he met my father, then Nina. When it was time to sit down at the table, without anyone telling her, Jessy naturally took a seat next to me. I control myself so as not to let my disorder appear in front of those close to me. I feel myself vibrate every time his arm brushes mine. From time to time, Jessy looks at me sideways and gives a little amused smile, and I immediately blush ! 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFmRcwm4foc
The meal passes in a good atmosphere until Nina, as usual, says out loud what she is thinking : 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPma0miabPW
— You're not bad, Jessy, but I prefer Chad. It is awesome ! 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmv5evzl6kG
— Nina ! We don't say that kind of thing ! Reprimands my mother.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcXhJ14ZlA2
— For what ? I tell the truth.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnkHArqNqI8
— Chad is nice, Jessy responds politely.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaTbiUhJXbF
— And he’s strong ! Nina continues, making me want to throw myself over the table and strangle her.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBj3ReWnqu8
— It’s true, Chad is a great athlete, adds my father. He also taught Megan how to drive. Considering the number of guests at his party the other night, he's also very popular. He has everything going for him, this boy, says my father, whom I would like to strangle at the same time as my sister.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1O3J57A34y
— It’s true that he’s really lucky, Jessy whispers, looking at me.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYnFck8t6Mn
I stare at him, not knowing how to react. I have a sudden and insane desire to throw myself into his arms to kiss him, this idea scares me as much as his words made me happy. Also, I'm left speechless, which makes him smile more.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvmJqP4jFAh
At the end of the meal, Jessy helps me clear the table, then asks me where the bathroom is. I tell him. My mother then approaches me and gives me a little smile.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhBT7iK0BWg
— This boy is very nice, she comments quietly so that only I can hear. And very cute at that.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxb2zCD3CUi
I glance at him sideways, smiling.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtzL8ffgPqW
"I suppose you know what you're doing ? "322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnmFRIpPERT
— Not really.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoCumRLdyy0
— Meg, you’re sixteen. You didn't make a lifelong commitment to Chad. You are all young, you have the right to be carefree. I was, at your age, and I didn't know your father until much later, when I decided to settle down.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrnVeZOUsrF
— You know very well that I am too serious to let myself be guided by my emotions without having first thought for hours.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc4a4AFbmRH
— Yes, I know, my mother sighs. And at first glance, I would say that Jessy seems to be just like you.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpaZe3Ss2Ej
— You think that…322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ65q8sI1Eek
I want to ask her if she thinks Jessy is interested in me, but I leave it hanging when I see him coming back to us.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrhQ8qT0Y5e
— Thank you very much for inviting me to your table. It's getting late, I'm going to go home.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9b2gk8tfYQ
— Wait, I'm going to walk with you for a while.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ032AHN4O0z
Jessy nods before going to grab his jacket hanging on a hook in the entryway.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBxudY9hz1T
— Thanks again ! Have a good evening everyone, he says as he leaves.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfOfHgFgmOm
— Megan ! 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6aHEIAc3RD
I turn to my mother who is standing in the hallway, at the entrance to the kitchen.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHSZ7ftnKdV
— I am sure of it ! 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzclc0C129l
I give him a big smile.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkomqEsvLXl
— She is sure of what ? Asks Jessy who heard everything from the porch.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSsTfjSm2E
— Oh, you're welcome, just something I asked him.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzd24N6yw8P
Fortunately, he doesn't insist.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOFMIlVl8Ba
We walk down the sidewalk in silence.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTdrAcqZzYw
My neighborhood is a quiet place, where all the houses322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy3u2i7jRKo
look alike with their little white fence surrounding the garden. Only the colors of the houses vary from one to another, sometimes white with blue shutters, sometimes brown with red shutters. Our family home is cream with green shutters. My father makes a point of maintaining it well, repainting it as soon as the paint shows signs of age, and mowing the lawn regularly. This corner of the city is not known for being the richest, but at least its inhabitants ensure that nothing can damage it. I love this quiet little town which seems to live as if in a cocoon where nothing serious ever happens and where the smallest event, like the arrival of Jessy, is experienced as big news. This thought pulls me out of my reverie and, turning back to my companion, I decide to question him.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAe65ZwHrWU
— Did you move here alone ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCA2c9KTxk
This seems incongruous to me since he is only seventeen, but I never see him with anyone, not even in town.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2R8yOtJUh
— No, I live with my mother.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl0SCHiBG9v
— And your father ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrMVYqDjFYM
— My father died when I was a kid.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzUeoVt6lb6
— Sorry.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKuwt27d9Q4
— It's nothing. My mother remarried and I have a little brother, Jason, who is now seven.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLOvrvNicx8
— So your father in law and your brother live with you ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6sabSx0jTL
Jessy grimace. 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSxvE2r0oqe
— No, they stayed in Allentown.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaSVVYXksMo
— For what ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1u3TQCNvcP
Jessy gives me a big smile while answering : 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxJCnferwe6
— Joker ! 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZGxgnZbiGw
Preferring not to insist, I move on to other questions : 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5OonOwlOSs
— Why did you leave Allentown ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6weFrT4IGA
— Re joker ! 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl5QCmcCErX
— OK. I always see you alone... but you must have friends ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Eza9Jpu60
— You know, I just arrived and I don’t know anyone yet, except you. In Allentown, I had friends, or so I thought, but..., he interrupts himself, purses his lips, shaking his head : 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZBqGRnJtMF
— I don't want to talk about it... Let's just say, sometimes you think you know people and you're wrong.
— Like me the other night...322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtdPh1wnYqW
Looking serious, he nods.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGk1GS49IG
— So you’re from Allentown ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡygtDVfpSxA
— Yes, I lived in a small neighborhood where everyone had known each other forever, a bit like this one. (He looks around.) Except that in town, we couldn't see the stars as well.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJwlxBniSq
I follow his gaze, staring at the sky illuminated by hundreds of sparkling points that no cloud hides. I feel very small and fragile in the face of this immensity. It's strange to find myself next to this boy to whom I feel close and who, at the same time, intimidates me so much.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2hAInpRYwj
— Your family loves Chad very much, he said suddenly, breaking this magical moment. How long have you been together ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwrzbu0gMsP
I sit on the low wall bordering a house for sale.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWxVaM7ntYy
— My father was a big athlete in high school and I think he recognizes himself in Chad. My mother finds him cute and nice, and my sister is in love with him, I think ! (I smile.) He and I have known each other for a very long time, since kindergarten in fact…322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbpjqUVJa83
— And you’ve always loved him, Jessy adds, sitting down next to me.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTXyxgIeVnl
I blush and lower my head.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKQrHsRGtCj
— It’s complicated… But let’s talk about you instead. Did you leave a girlfriend in Allentown ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Tln61QA40
Jessy turns to me and raises his eyebrows, visibly surprised. I stare at him, both impatient and dreading his answer.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBa7FhNmuJQ
— Your question is strange...
— Why ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEBsxUVtcP
— Because you're dating the perfect guy according to everyone around you, so I wonder what your questioning is hiding.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7MJC1B8723
— It wasn’t you who told me that you shouldn’t necessarily listen to what others say ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjkQ7RnjlOe
— Touché, he smiled. Let's say I had a girlfriend.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2HeKkeCMdt
— You still have ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡImZryY1ig5
— Well no, we split up...322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLbo1UZjseN
I don't give him time to finish his sentence as my lips are already on his. Immediately, he kisses me back.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9kGEp1HMUA
His lips are soft and warm on mine, I feel him slide a hand to my waist, pulling me closer to him until, as suddenly as it began, he pushes me back forcefully before standing up abruptly. jump, visibly annoyed.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIWj6yMZjA4
— That’s not true ! Why did you do it ? He writes to himself while standing in front of me, hands on hips waiting for a response.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7QGU7CA9Nr
— I don’t know, I said as sincerely as possible. Since I met you, I have felt lost. I don't know why but I feel like I've known you forever and this feeling totally upsets me. I was hoping you felt the same way I did.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkGdQN5WhIu
Far from calming down, Jessy walks away from me, walking as quickly as he can. I get up and run after him.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMPANnpevXy
— Jessy, wait ! What is happening ? Please don't tell me that kiss was that bad ! 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMOxN4lcJi2
He doesn't stop though. I grab him by one arm, forcing him to stop his way.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqA7bvZqc1U
He glares at me.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRPesxXSvVc
— I'm sorry if... I shouldn't have kissed you, but I honestly thought you wanted to too.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbDM0zsYStn
— It is, he whispers, staring at me.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZI3E7axVdc
— So where is the problem ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcFDtS5XZcp
— I can not do that.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFD2pOuLYgv
— But why ? I know that compared to Chad it's a bad thing but...322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7MeBBjk71Q
— It has nothing to do with him. The problem is me. I'm not made for love, he gets angry again. I gave too much, now that is forbidden to me.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4zFpFSJMLq
He frees himself from my hand before continuing on his way. Staying there, I say to him : 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wl2AU0f6I
— I don't understand ! You can't pretend to want to kiss me and then run away like that a second later. It's not me who made you suffer so why should I pay for what others made you endure ? I'm not your ex ! 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaE8PkLVLor
Abruptly, he stops his running, turns around before coming back towards me. His features are distorted by anger but I also read a form of pain there.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpkLS9KEF1Q
— No, you are not the one who changed my life and I in no way wish to become the one who changes yours in the same way ! My life is ruined Meg, I'm already at the end. I'm going to die, he adds when he sees that I don't understand his words.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjAfX27ZsrH
— Wh... What ? I stammer, in shock.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWjXxNvdbEa
He gets closer. His face is only a few centimeters from mine.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9spmxDtEkw
— Meg, I'm HIV positive. I have the AIDS virus, he admits quietly so that no one else can hear him, although the street is deserted. So stay away from me, believe me it's better ! 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡstDArVZAQX
He leaves as quickly as possible. Soon night envelops it completely. For a long moment, I stay there, dismayed, unable to make the slightest gesture, no longer knowing what to think. His words seem to spin in my head like a wild merry go round that no one can stop. I don't know how long I stand on that sidewalk looking in his direction long after he's gone.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ZZ68roZ70
322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZU0PpsHINC
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When I get home, I try not to let anything show and lock myself in the kitchen. I thought I would be safe, but as soon as I closed the door, my mother opened it and stuck her head in.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCeEIzsTGI2
— Are you okay, Meg ? You're very pale, aren't you sick ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdpvjBPeizA
— Everything is fine. I miss Nicolas, I would like to talk to him.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2q21yPMZm3
Understanding the message, my mother nods and closes the door behind her. Immediately, I grab the phone and dial my brother’s number. Luckily he answers after two rings.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVwabbecdnh
— Hello ? he says, happily.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNqOODTke1d
— Nick, it’s me.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQndUd6j7Lq
I'm having a hard time keeping the tremors in my voice at bay.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwoRYY5KHLj
— Meg, what’s going on ? He worries.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxLyIQQwtYv
The day I met Jessy, I told my brother that same evening. He seemed happy that a boy other than Chad was messing with me. For some reason, Nick always grimaced at my relationship with Chad. 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiu9HegjQUv
— Jessy came to the house for dinner this evening... 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2EtWwUlIXK
— Oh, he sighs, he threw you away.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa7YxrLF981
I think about the way I kissed him and feel myself blushing again. If I had known how he was going to push me away, I would never have let myself be carried away by my desire.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk98pqfHGys
— Yes, but that’s not the worst, I sob. Jessy admitted to me that she was sick.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOBHLYXMQfR
Realizing the horror of the situation, I fall to the ground. I am not afraid of AIDS, I know that I risk nothing. But I am terrified for Jessy, for his future which is likely to be short. My brother doesn't speak, he gives me time to calm down. When my sobs dry up, I continue : 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqoH938swhT
— Jessy is HIV positive, I blurt out in one breath.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhrfZszzicC
A gasp of surprise escapes my brother.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZLdPhXGg9G
— Okay, he breathes, making me understand that he’s thinking about the situation. What are you going to do ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVVaOyCZP0K
— I don't know. Nick, I need to know your opinion.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ32O1N5ZDAq
— I admit that I didn't expect that at all. Do you see yourself turning your back on him ? 322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOMX0TxguDd
— I wouldn't be able to.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMozvDizRjz
— Meg, I know this probably isn't the kind of relationship you imagined, but based on what you've told me so far about this guy, I think right now he especially needs support and friendship. Don’t reject him because he doesn’t match your ideal.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhBsCoMgtuP
— Exactly, he corresponds to my ideal and the fact that he is ill changes nothing. If I am devastated it is because AIDS is an incurable disease. I don't want him to die, Nick, I'm crying again.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRPvXqvEkfS
I am aware that I have only known him for a short time but, without being able to explain it, he has already marked my existence.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpvNfXCBeW7
— Come on, little sister, don’t cry. For now, Jessy is alive and, even if he keeps you at a distance, I'm sure he would be happy to have you in his life. Try to make him smile while he's here. He must need to think about something other than this crap.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZQm6k0prP
— You're right. Nick, what I confided to you must absolutely remain between us. No one should know.322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzm4W3desoA
— Finally you know me ! Come on now tell me how he dumped you ! He laughs as I bite my lip in shame.
