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I am quietly installed in my office. This is my own place, in this family home. Far from the adventures of my children, I appreciate being able to breathe calmly from time to time. There, I decompress and take the time to think, to drown myself in my thoughts, in my memories.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHQfNYnbob3
Suddenly there is a knock at the door. I quickly slip the photo I had been looking at for several minutes into the pocket of my blouse, and pretend to be concentrating on a file. I barely have time to say, “Come in” when the door opens to reveal my daughter. At seventeen and a half years old, she has behaved like a real tornado since the start of her adolescence, four years earlier. However, in her face framed by long brown hair, childhood can still be seen.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa28g4aioQg
— Mom, I need to talk to you about something super important ! 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVARAveFc14
I suppress a smile. With Orlane, everything is always mega important ! 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9mKS6lmYJC
— Ok I hear you.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLj25Kou6Ok
— With Alexandra, we would like to get a tattoo ! She says, excited, as if it’s the best news of the year.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIxpXxKfnyU
— A tattoo ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4LNgqgSqOZ
She nods energetically.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1AoyHzEMbu
— While you are still a minor ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRNwpk0WFfq
— Soon to be an adult.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQET1SqZz7
— Yes, so seventeen years and counting.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGNxX3K1zbD
— If you say so. So, is it yes ? I need parental consent to do this.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzYUWns7FbA
— No way ! 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVWzAPVmbxz
As I expected, my daughter's face turns an angry red, while her light eyes darken.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAkZ34y4b4L
— You never let me do anything cool ! She shouts, slamming the door behind her.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvvNWMXsYc
Another of these great classics is to avoid any discussion by taking long strides. I hear him scream.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVPKQqljjEU
— She always forbids me from everything ! She’s never there for us ! 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcSvB9AH1rB
— You exaggerate ! Mom is always there whenever we need her, tries to calm my son down in a paternalistic tone.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQvpbHLH6L
Calm, thoughtful and very mature in nature for a young man of sixteen, my son has a character that is the polar opposite of that of his sister.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡahEOWN0Ld1
— She’s not a cool mother ! 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnXrJp3GzFK
I decide to join them in the kitchen.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcOQl0VfIAO
— If being fashionable means letting you drink alcohol, do drugs, let you date anyone, or allow you to get tattoos, then no, I'm not cool...416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbn1DzeHJO
— But why don’t you want to ? After all, it’s just a little drawing on the skin, adds my daughter with a pout.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLRr3kwdmtI
My God, how tenacious she is… Like me ultimately.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk7MjXumkLX
— Orlane, the day you want to get a tattoo for a good reason, I will accept, but not to be like your friends.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiz70YnBO3W
My son looks at us, imperturbable.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaVmqlOddWy
— You definitely have a tattoo ! She accuses me, angrily.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC08CrFBtaP
I look down, weighing the pros and cons, and end up telling them : 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡisYhCPVo5q
— Follow me to the living room, both of you. I need to talk to you.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKyJsZ2ANB6
Without a word, they accompany me, and each sit in one of the large armchairs, facing mine.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCczJykVwtb
— You are both old enough now for me to tell you a story. And please don't interrupt me. The story I am about to tell you is personal to me, but it is important that you know it, because it has made us who we are.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Go0GQ4TUv
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It all started on September 26, 1991 : 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpC5GyV4mYr
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Autumn has not yet arrived although the leaves of the trees are starting to turn red under the less intense rays of the sun.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz5XorAM4ZY
I detail my reflection while doing my hair in front of the mirror. I don't think I'm pretty, although many people tell me otherwise. I'm not very tall, I don't have the figure of a top model, in fact, I find myself rather ordinary. Not to mention this damn hair that refuses to stay styled the way I want it ! Giving up trying to tame them, I abandon my hairbrush and go down the stairs of the house. I'm so happy to be in high school where I'm now one of the big guys. Sixteen is the age where my real life begins, the age where my parents finally treat me like an adult and no longer like an immature child. The age when all dreams are achievable and desires possible.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUggK4GBYkC
My mind escapes for a moment to fly towards Chad, my boyfriend of several months. Chad is young, handsome, athletic and intelligent when he manages to stay focused long enough on his homework instead of thinking about sports, which is hard for him. He's not very tall, but built like a sportsman : all muscles. I like his black hair in a crew cut, and his hazel eyes. We have known each other since childhood. I had been secretly in love with him for years. In high school, I was known for being the type of serious girl, always top of the class, which did not attract boys, much to my despair. Chad is the most popular boy in school, so there was no chance he would be interested in me until a teacher asked me to help him with math. When he finally asked me to go out with him, I couldn't believe it anymore.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4KrYCQHCMF
For six months, Chad and I have been in perfect love...416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRQu6M3wwbB
Okay, we only exchanged chaste kisses, we don't go out much, instead spending our time watching movies at his house. I also admit that contrary to what I had always imagined, I don't feel this passion that romance novels boast about, perhaps this is due to the fact that we have few things in common. When Chad kisses me, I have the horrible feeling of kissing my best friend but I’m sure that with time, our story will become more intense, passionate and that this feeling will disappear. After all, he’s the one I always wanted so everything will work out in the end.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp2sqbPBsE1
Letting out a romantic sigh, I enter the kitchen. Almost my entire family is gathered there : Ashley and John, my parents as well as Nina, my younger sister. The only thing missing is Nicolas, my big brother who recently left for New York University and who only comes home for the holidays.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFlrgr2Gnwi
— My little Megan… The more I see you, the less you look like my baby, my mother laments, staring at me.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkjWCIVECDF
She isn’t very tall, she has a face with soft features that charms most people she meets. I get her brown hair and blue eyes from her. She always expresses herself calmly, but with conviction.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfhc8D4ZoNW
I act as if his rantings don't matter to me.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKqvhoe1HM8
— Mom, I’ll always be your daughter. And then, you have Nina as a baby…416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ziwF6xb9e
My sister makes a face. At thirteen, she sees herself more as a teenager than as the youngest member of the family.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8WFGRDKjgb
— Are you still planning to go to Chad’s party tonight ? How many will you be ? Asks my father before swallowing his coffee.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb7BEHqS5Gb
— Yes I’m going. There will be about fifty of us.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPkgUroaGqS
My father coughs and chokes.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOyxyksWB6v
— That much ? Ask my mother in turn.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIzNJA4Ee1M
I nod yes.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR8azjuTOWW
— There will be the whole class as well as Chad's friends, that's a lot of people, he's very popular at school.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGcnJmZID0g
— That’s true, my father agrees with a touch of pride.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3dP1szyYoq
Even though he tends to be overprotective, I love my father very much. I find him a handsome man for his age. At forty, his dark brown hair begins to take on gray shades at the temples and expression lines slowly creep into his angular face, further marking his smile and his frown.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Om0z879CE
My father works in construction, his specialty is facade maintenance. He judges each house by the quality of its exterior paint ! My mother is a secretary in a real estate agency, which doesn't excite her, but she has fixed hours, which suits her perfectly. We are a middle class American family. We live in a residential neighborhood in the small town of Millisky, Pennsylvania, where almost everyone knows each other, if only by sight. The town has around five thousand souls. We have a hospital, shops, restaurants, cinemas, and even a large shopping center, so we never get bored. In addition, our town is surrounded by a beautiful forest which allows for long walks, we also have a lake about five kilometers to the south. To the west, a hill overlooks the city, it is the chic district where all the local bourgeois have built their beautiful homes, which most often only serve as second homes. To the north, a highway takes us to Pittsburgh, the nearest major city, a two hour drive, and to the east, Philadelphia is a three hour drive.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjCdaQMGAbJ
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A little later that day, I'm in the main hallway of the school. It is a large white building, some classrooms have faded walls, originally cream-colored, and the same goes for places of frequent passage. The central corridor has on each side of its walls, two rows of gray lockers stacked on top of each other. I take some books from mine when, turning around, I see a boy of average height, with brown hair and light eyes, walk past me. He looks at me furtively. When I meet his gaze, I feel like I'm falling from a ten- story building. It's a strange thing I've never felt before and it only lasts a few seconds. Coming to my senses, I tell myself that I must be going crazy.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiESNUHGpBw
— Not bad, admires Amy, my best friend, who followed my gaze.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW6ptHtLSnE
— New student ? I'm asking perfunctorily as I'm sure I've never seen it before.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ11xZJMCA9W
— I’ll find out, says my friend, narrowing her eyes with interest.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfWnarOhUmR
— In any case, he’s very cute, I can’t help but point out.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcTSpFasL1X
— You're the one who says that, even though you're dating the hottest boy in school ! She exclaims, shocked.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡauDWwgLy8D
I smile, remembering that Chad never wanted to go out with her. He preferred me. It's so rare for a boy to reject her that I know she harbors a little resentment towards me. She has never told me openly but sometimes, like this moment, she throws a little barb at me. Without being mean, it gets heavy some days. However, she has been my friend for so long that I don't see myself falling out with her over such a small matter.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3z1m2HnWM4
Later that day, in history class, I am fascinated by the documentary that the professor shows us concerning the liberation of Europe during the Second World War. This is not the first report I have seen on the subject but each time, I am caught up in the violence, the abomination of this conflict. When the images of the concentration camps appear on the screen, I look away. This is too hard for me, so I concentrate on a completely different theme. Since the start of the course, I have had the strange sensation of feeling observed. As I turn to scan the class, I see the new student sitting two rows behind me, his eyes fixed on me. When he realizes that I have noticed him, he returns his gaze to the screen. I imitate him but after a few seconds, I turn around again.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWjyYBTAnnD
Grid ! I thought, giving a hint of a smile as he refocused on the documentary. For long minutes, I no longer dared to move. It's stupid but this boy intimidates me.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMogGfbHA6t
When the film ends, I turn in my seat to follow the teacher as he walks around the class summarizing what we just saw. The newcomer is still staring at me. His look is indecipherable.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdFcWS3tHzG
— Imagine these families separated during endless years of war, imagine their suffering. If you had been in their place, would you have chosen resignation in the face of the invader or would you have opted for resistance ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡonWgqOxzoI
I raise my hand, certain of my answer.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhsOeISE8OC
— Yes Megan.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXcYSmTqUr
— I would have chosen resistance. Faced with injustice, I think I would have been incapable of looking at the situation without taking part in the fight.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGdPDuFohr1
— Good. Someone else's opinion ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWhEhjianX
Many raise their hands including the new one.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzCey03NXdF
— And you, what do you think ? Asks the teacher, addressing him.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6GN8FjiDWT
— I believe that with hindsight, it is easy to give your opinion, but at that time, people who engaged in the resistance ran enormous risks, not only for themselves but also for those close to them. All this must be taken into consideration.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiRIAMkHJX2
— Perfect, Jessy ! 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡth48J0aAoU
Jessy… 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOXFphW5XaF
I have a hard time taking my eyes off him even though his name resonates within me.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTLnznf5h8t
— For the next class, you will write me a presentation on this subject, continues the professor.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqDdblqoBt1
The bell announcing the end of classes rings, the new guy immediately picks up his things and leaves, bowing his head. It makes me feel like I'm running away from the whole world.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1GAMGoJCk8
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I head to the bathroom to put some gloss on my lips and find my friends Amy and Pearl there.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWVTPRokY1i
— So, Meg, where are you with Chad ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJeFRN8w31f
My cheeks immediately turn red.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHDkN0BmMve
— There is nothing to say.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUkNGJInp0a
— Don’t tell us you haven’t done it yet, Amy insists.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlCQfGKFzvu
— Well no… Well, I mean, do you feel ready ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ454EW5TQjb
Amy shrugs. I know she hasn't been a virgin for some time.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq6zo1ZyoPu
— There’s no reason, Pearl assures. You're with the boy you've always wanted, so why not go all the way ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ09aiS2FbD
These words make me think more than they should. I've been dreaming about Chad for years, so why do I feel this stuck ? Why don't my feelings push me to open up completely ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlylpUxhxH7
I feel lost and I know perfectly well that it's not my friends I could confide in. They would immediately judge me, thinking I'm crazy for asking myself a thousand questions when I'm dating a great guy.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡik4ZgoRsWf
If only Nick were here, I thought with regret.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiey6KL4PLb
My brother would be able to advise me perfectly. It's crazy how much I miss him. Looking forward to the next vacation so he can come back to see us.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvq3WgGJ2Kw
— By the way, have you seen the new one ? Pearl continues, arranging her brown hair in front of the mirror. He is too beautiful ! 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiCcyfjzOPG
It’s true that he is beautiful ! A finely sculpted body without being skinny and a face with fine features that I find refined, piercing green eyes lined with long eyelashes, slightly messy light brown hair... I also memorized the little chain with at the end a cross that dangles from his left ear giving him a little rebellious side that I find sexy.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdkDPNxPDxY
— I learned a few things about him...416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJoR81rno5H
This simple sentence from Amy focuses all my attention.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5M79yFDFR6
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A few hours later, at the end of classes, I found my father in the high school parking lot. This day is important to me. I pass my driving license. I am confident, because for several weeks, Chad has been teaching me everything there is to know and, according to him, I am ready.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcisr4fsUF7
— Megan, we need to talk, my father begins.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgYUbixhwrF
Already knowing that I am going to be treated to a moral lesson, I hold back a sigh.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPuHfMt2ASV
— It’s about that party at Chad’s. You know I trust you, but... knowing you with him until late...416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVsNjOoHd8X
When I don't answer, he continues : 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6KuFCjGmDw
— Will you be… serious this evening ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Pdj90Yflh
— Dad, I'm still a virgin and I don't plan on that changing tonight.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJrCLwsCYyT
— Thank God, he breathes with relief after grimacing.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMbygY3JDAJ
Shortly after, we return home, me with my license in my pocket and my father with the certainty that I am still innocent.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0yBNYgC5sc
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In the evening, I found Chad at his house. He lives in a large, modern and chic house, close to the city center. Their villa includes three bedrooms with an independent bathroom, a games room, an office, a fully equipped kitchen and a gigantic living room which, that evening, easily accommodated fifty guests. Outside, in a garden, in which my entire house could fit, is a heated swimming pool. As the girlfriend of the owner of the house, I make a grand entrance. I'm wearing a pretty black silk dress, perfectly fitted, which suits me perfectly. I turn heads as I pass, especially Chad who only has eyes for me. The party is in full swing, the whole class has gathered there.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoCtZ0evTLu
I'm chatting with Amy in the corner of the room, when I spot the new student, Jessy, standing a little further away. He observes me while chatting with Stanley, a friend of my brother. He stares at me and gives me a small smile to which I can't help but respond.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt5meohlkC4
Why am I blushing ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1reVOC2PcK
— This guy is so hot. I'm going to go and get to know each other, Amy said to me, scrutinizing Jessy.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Y4Vz4BC8d
Without knowing why, my heart sinks.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWmMXkfWL7n
— Amy…, my reaction is stupid. You look very pretty with this dress.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7zGItSKcTo
She smiles. I see her approach Jessy, Stanley quickly walks away while Amy launches into a tirade, pointing out several people in the room. She must inform him of the gossip that is circulating. I can't help the pang of jealousy that creeps into me when I see her place a hand on Jessy's arm. At this moment, he looks up at me, his expression is indecipherable. I have to look elsewhere... But I can't do it.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyMbEjV3U0d
— Are you okay, Meg ? You're having fun ? Chad appears in front of me and places his hands on my hips.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3YASeif8Ub
Finally I take my eyes off Amy and the new guy. I have to think about something other than his green eyes which make me feel like they are penetrating my soul.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx2WsSzG7sx
I place my lips on my boyfriend's in a brief kiss.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9UCNP4JTfC
— Where were you ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKzPscY85J7
— I was walking around the house. Haven't you noticed that some people look like they've been drunk ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3xdT9BBy4V
— Yes, I met Matt earlier, he reeked of alcohol.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3UXZTxYxHt
— Great, Chad breathes, annoyed. If my parents find out about this, I'm dead.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXEtcjmETWo
I glance in Jessy and Amy’s direction. He has disappeared while she returns to us, blowing : 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ32mOg9hoYY
— This guy is weird ! 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOM3w7IpbCr
— What happened with Jessy ? I said, trying to contain my relief.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1LI4EVwOCt
— I don’t know, I was talking to him and, suddenly, he went out to get some fresh air. Who invited him anyway ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzaUjxzT3qS
— It's me. We had a class together, I told him it would be the best way to meet people.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa1r9Dyphm0
How nice Chad is ! That's why I love him, my heart reminds me.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOt9iC3B6h1
— I’m going to try to find out who brought the alcohol, he continues.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6OiHawSUFq
— I am coming with you.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6j5XYmW74I
We leave Amy in the living room and head towards the kitchen. A group of American football players, of which Chad is the quarterback, are seated there.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7EoOC85iiC
— Damn, you guys are annoying ! I warned you though : no alcohol.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvF17Qpuvwg
My boyfriend raises his voice.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsANgL3ZG3m
— Relax, Chad, it's just beers.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQVBa7SnKCB
— Beers or not, if my parents find out I'll be in big trouble, get rid of it ! 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVngAZ6isar
The five young people take their bottles while complaining and drop one which spills down the front of my dress.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFVkoGFYOFf
— It’s clever ! Chad exclaims as I gape.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfb6X1KxMmK
I grab a roll of paper towels and try to wipe the alcohol off, to no avail.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5BCFVW2y12
— Come with me, my boyfriend said, taking me by the hand. I don't mean to be offensive, but you stink of alcohol. We're going to have problems with your parents if you leave like that again.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo5ELFV2I61
— I know, it’s because of your stupid friends ! 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI85WjS53Hr
— I'm sorry. I have an idea. Go take a shower, and in the meantime, I'll wash and dry your dress and off you go, neither seen nor known ! 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBLaNd6C6AU
Having little choice, I accept.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgbNLJXaWPu
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Several minutes later, which seemed like an eternity, I found Chad in his room. I am in my bathrobe and my boyfriend is holding my clean dress in his hands when there is a knock at the door. Neither of us has time to make a move that Amy and Pearl are already initiating. They stand in the doorway, look at us and mutter an apology before closing the door, giggling.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNyULk4PAfC
— Great, they’re going to think anything now, I mutter angrily.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjCD0HgUDeg
— But no, they are your friends. You just need to explain the situation to them when we get down.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIInHIrMSST
I'm not convinced, but Chad is right, they are my friends, they will definitely believe me. And then, I have nothing to reproach myself for.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHiNjGbu3S1
Clearly, this evening is far from being the evening I dreamed of ! 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4kH5eBtYS
When we join the guests on the ground floor, I immediately feel that they are staring at me with eloquent little smiles. I'm going to pour myself a glass of non alcoholic punch when Amy and Pearl come to talk to me.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYhcx0AG3pE
— So, Meg, how was it ? Is Chad as good a shot as he seems ? Amy asks me, with a spark of curiosity in her eyes.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVhFtYAOH0F
— What are you talking about ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5oEPxGGdub
— Of you and Chad half naked in his room ! 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzCDeGa3DGj
— That’s not at all what you think ! Nothing happened ! Some idiots had spilled beer on me. I had to take a shower while Chad cleaned my dress and he was dressed in case you didn't notice ! 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAzGlrju1ue
It annoys me to have to justify myself as if I had committed a crime.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1USWgGNTBA
— But of course ! Pearl replies, giggling with Amy before walking away towards other students in our class.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoT33REuMTh
This story is crazy, and the worst part is that no one wants to believe me, not even my best friends, at least the ones I thought were real friends. The looks that I already found embarrassing became even more insistent, and shame invaded me. It’s a shame to feel this ! Sensing my discomfort, Chad comes to join me.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcMu9DIcOlu
— I'm going back.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNHcFHmS9Il
— But no, stay, you're not going to let these idiots ruin your evening ! 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJBgRoRumSp
He hugs me tightly to reassure me, but416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQvnMHlO1iG
I gently push him away. There are already enough comments as it is, there is no point in adding more.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡschifyaJsX
— No, I'm going back. See you tomorrow ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAh7EkBS0oy
Disappointed, he acquiesces. I kiss him on the tips of his lips as we usually do.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB0ne3EVdUn
— You don’t want me to take you home ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDdvePn9CAn
— I need to walk...416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRE32BQT2FO
416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtA1LxsXoe7
It feels good to be alone and to be able to enjoy the peace and quiet of the cool night. The moon just makes a crescent in the sky. Looking up, I admire the stars which, far from everything, don't care about the gossip that runs on Earth. Tears burn my eyes, I feel more alone than ever on this Earth which is definitely not running smoothly.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz1Htp5LcR5
— Did you need to get some fresh air ? A soft voice nearby asks, bringing me out of my reverie.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9hyFvJ3jGY
Jessy is by my side, looking up to the sky.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2mPlC8aFym
— Yes. Exactly. You too ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOVJC7uaffC
This is the first time I've seen him up close. Immediately, my heart races. A small diamond shines in his ear, replacing the cross he wore during the day. Two locks frame his forehead, falling in front of his eyes when he lowers his head. I know I shouldn't stare at him like that, but I can't help it. I feel like an insect attracted by a light that hypnotizes it. He looks at me, gives me a smile. Why do I feel so intimidated around him ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtfn1S3KfCS
A breath of wind rises, making me shiver. Jessy takes off his black leather jacket and hands it to me, I put it on and thank him. Does he notice my trouble ? I don't know, but from his piercing gaze, I suspect he's enjoying the situation.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl76cA90hVn
— Yes, I needed to get some fresh air too, I don’t really like crowds. I saw you leaving, I thought maybe you’d like some company ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAa5AswyG7T
— If you want, I shrug casually while being happy that he noticed me. Jessy, is that right ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfl6TsDK158
He nods with a smile.
— I'm Meg...
— Megan, I know.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ71QnqLJjvA
I look at him, surprised.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIhD4Pfw3Hz
— Good. What else do you know about me ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhanKKl8Tea
— Let’s see… You’re the best student in class, and you’re dating the star player of the football team.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBdEIY85G5N
— You're good ! 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jM1RSWNG6
— I guess you must have heard something about me too ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ94J2DGqAl3
— Not much, actually. I just know that you are seventeen, that you have just arrived in Millisky and that you are repeating your school year.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78g6jKq9je
— Everything is true. It's not that serious ? What upsets you..., he adds to my astonishment.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5M5iKBdrUT
— No, there are much worse things in life. It's nothing, just nonsense.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSuJNlrisiP
— If it’s so harmless, then why did you leave your boyfriend’s party ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡihRWTMJQgw
— Maybe because, this evening, I saw the true faces of my so called friends. My confidence in them melted like snow in the sun.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qYyArdgIE
Jessy sighs as she looks up again to look at the starry sky.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7vNN82ig2L
— I know this feeling of disappointment well.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkIQ4AFcq0A
— Did this happen to you too ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmTOmzsuoSO
He seems surprised that I am interested in him and turns to me, burying his hands in the pockets of his pants.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡggM4c9lqPK
— To be betrayed, disappointed ? Oh yes ! Although I don't understand why your friends would turn their backs on you.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNyuxzOZbIm
— Haven't you heard the gossip spread by Amy and Pearl ? They told everyone that I slept with Chad. Even though I told them that this is not the case, they did not believe me, and worse, they preferred to continue to denigrate me.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpmspGclQSx
As I tell him this, I search his eyes to check if he is sincere or if he is making fun of me like the others.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmtIgKvWzqd
— I have learned to no longer listen, and even less believe, what people say out of pure malice or jealousy. I am convinced that you are telling the truth.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7u9RYNEuPw
— You seem very sure of yourself for someone who doesn’t know me ! 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBFiFsx8T4D
He locks his gaze on mine before responding : 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4kS2jyeP2
— I see in you.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwSISWoLnYG
This response leaves me speechless and upsets me more than it should. Faced with him, with his words, I feel lost. Fortunately, we arrived on my street and I just want to be alone to try to analyze what I feel.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyxVIW29V64
— Thank you, I said, handing him back his jacket. And thank you for taking me home.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2OEI6nnR3w
— At your service, he says, turning left while I continue straight.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGqKHKocMc
416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWlZrlXDc7
416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEoJ2cHWiT8
The following days, nothing erases this attraction which pushes me towards Jessy. This makes me feel so guilty that I try to focus on my relationship with Chad, without really succeeding. As for Jessy, I feel like he's been running away from me since the other night. He looks away as soon as I look at him and doesn't speak to me anymore. I don't know what I did wrong for him to ignore me like that, but it pains me a lot. Perhaps he also ended up believing the nonsense that was circulated about my relationship ? If that were the case, I would be extremely hurt.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIiGpU7A9Va
It was during history class that the teacher gave me the opportunity to get closer to him.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlgEnhjBmTT
— I asked each of you to write a presentation on the last lesson.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMxvrqbYFie
At these words, several students point to their copy on their table.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhweuTOxMni
— Jessy, can you pick them up ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSgmQcV3xCA
This one executes. When he reaches my height, his gaze finally anchors on mine. I feel like seconds are becoming minutes. At this very moment, I realize how much I've missed Jessy these past few days. His hand brushes against mine as I hand him my paper, making me want to grab it and never let go.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnK0muvSysg
As if reading my thoughts, Jessy narrows his eyes slightly and purses his lips. Then he turns away towards the next table, breaking the spell that united us as the professor continues speaking : 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOc44kn4KsB
— To find out what you have learned from this course, I have prepared a written quiz for you.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkqV5wDOefr
Immediately, boos are heard.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBbo0FAzJMB
— Yes, I know, I'm not nice. While you answer the questionnaire, I will go through your presentations and form teams of two. For next week, you will have to refine your different points of view, compare them, in order to share them in front of the whole class.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI2g01n9Bgx
Although I am a good student, I don't particularly enjoy being on the board in front of everyone else and am already worried about who I will have to work with. As long as it's neither with Amy nor with416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9rSWVDNXIW
Pearl. I haven't spoken to them since the party at Chad's.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzr8FoKL4nz
They tried to come see me on Monday but I totally ignored them. Even if I find myself alone most of the time, Chad does not share all of my classes, I prefer that to being poorly accompanied.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdeAmFZe0kg
For long minutes, I put these thoughts aside to concentrate on the questioning.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYZDzneL54
When I finish, I raise my head and look behind me, towards Jessy who finishes a few seconds after me.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS9JHK8nwK7
The teacher notices us because he tells us : 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3pn8pEz4Ez
— Alright. Megan and Jessy, you'll be teaming up next week. You can go.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9NKKCAMKZx
At the same time, we get up and put our homework on the teacher's desk before leaving the classroom.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa71k2Co1gi
I thought we were going to be able to discuss this project but already Jessy is quickly moving away.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSHfB2CS5cY
— Jessy, wait ! 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUY3raiBt0
He slows down, but doesn't stop.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLdmsoOx4UO
— We need to discuss how we are going to approach this presentation.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOUpmvvrHO
His shoulders relax and he exhales.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuhR9ChNMS8
— I don't like working with others. So I suggest you do your part on your own, I will do the same and we will meet again before the next class to compare our points of view.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6E7qDwVjoS
— Thank you for your proposal but I refuse. There's no way I'm going to get a bad grade because you're antisocial.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ06WoZ8nISw
— I'm not…416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtCPH2PrqG0
Before he finishes his sentence, I raise an eyebrow which interrupts him.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJuL2sxIMUl
— Okay, maybe I am a little, he admits with a little smile. Alright, you win Megan.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJxJnC2RM1f
Feeling like I need to take advantage of my advantage before he changes his mind, I quickly scribble my address on a piece of paper and hand it to him.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqeaIJ4wZ5U
— Come to my place at the end of classes, we will be quiet to study.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡapwHDmFNFC
— Thanks for the address but we could just as easily meet up after school and go to your house together.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTo5qBe5swU
Why didn't I think of that ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPM9tZvGs1Q
I refrain from slapping myself.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtlw7RIloH6
Embarrassed by my stupidity, I smile shyly. Jessy leans towards me, slips my address into his pocket and adds mischievously : 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXWbk91kUL6
— I'm keeping it anyway. You never know, you might get lost along the way.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxh4rR4uRW9
I don't understand why just looking at him, talking to him, puts me in this state. I feel my cheeks on fire and I am certain that when I open my mouth, nothing but nonsense comes out.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt4na0zjFrV
But what is happening to me ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWKlgR12o7O
416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmJdPXLOFq2
During the next class, I feel Chad's gaze, sitting at the desk next to mine, weighing on me suspiciously. I do my best to appear comfortable and innocent until he hands me a paper.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9weQNxo23i
What's going on with Jessy ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbhtCy1fzWV
Astonished, I wrote : 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGrmY19jQK
What ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf8YfZIBfwc
Chad's response was quick : 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkjuorQGsvW
Amy told me you two seem close and that I should be worried. It's the case ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOTpdpVyRpD
Anger replaces disbelief. What the hell is his problem ? Is she not tired of taking care of my life, of making up stories for me ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ZAJGCTPG2
No, not at all. We just have a presentation to make together. 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwPnhQRPwEU
A smile lights up Chad's features. I managed to reassure him, yet I fear I may not have been completely honest with him.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDLIRlBpXD
As I look at his profile, I have to recognize that my boyfriend no longer inspires in me the feelings that inspired me just a few months ago. I feel myself detaching myself from Chad, I come to wonder if I was only in love with him one day or if I have always confused love and friendship. Slipping my hands through my hair, I breathe deeply. The only thing I know for sure is that I am lost in my emotions.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL9yxyabao3
416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNVzZZEgM7O
416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0gTIQGvskk
At the end of class, Jessy comes to join me, backpack on his shoulder and a book in hand.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFh62IUYI4r
— I love this book. I must have read it about ten times since last year, he tells me. I thought you might like to read it ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl6SWvk33OV
While walking the streets, I quickly skim a few pages.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCsjDwOYhGl
— Do you mind if I save it to read tonight ? I'll give it back to you tomorrow.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63U6BeocZ2
— On the contrary. It’s so rare that I meet people who like to read something other than comics.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaYLa3VjmIK
— I understand you. Comics are Chad's favorite reading.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBkQSnDSj3w
— I'm not surprised, Chad seems more of an athlete than a cerebral one.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlejvF1dD3Y
I am left speechless.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzEQyIt9NdQ
— Are you always this frank ? Can't help but ask him.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwohg0LlwIM
He shrugs his shoulders while responding : 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZjZBapOoL
— Very often. I hurt you ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVnLeMtLSJo
I thought for a few seconds before answering him.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDYcf50tNZH
— No. I must admit that it is the truth.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbW5ImlHqRu
His smile widens, making me melt a little more.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Cx2a942Oe
Arriving home, we sit in the living room and chat about the homework we have handed in. We both think we'll get good grades. My mother comes home from work and walks into the living room, surprising us. I suddenly feel uncomfortable being with a boy other than Chad under my parents' roof. I jump up, followed by my guest.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwcvYfAmJTv
— Hey, Ch…, it’s not Chad, she smiled.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv8I0JQtIdN
— Mom, this is Jessy.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd5CUmL2gXa
They greet each other.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ0VN1Fi42b
— We have a presentation to give to the whole class about the Second World War.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ7TFr9nONp
With a nod, Jessy confirms my words. Since my mother arrived, he hasn't said a word, and seems intimidated. This adds as evidence : 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ96DCTgC6Qp
— Jessy, are you staying to eat with us this evening ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ87i1h85Dyu
He shrugs his shoulders.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx33MXsmFXf
— I don't want to bother you…416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl8geJuwjVr
— Don't worry, I still cook too much since Nick left for college.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0W0DgMJuxo
— Nicolas is my older brother…416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsPWMx4Ovrz
— It would be a pleasure to have you with us. My husband is tired of being surrounded by girls.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZILYYWHlpY
— Okay then, Jessy said, smiling. Thanks ! 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8kJMP4FTel
A little later, he met my father, then Nina. When it was time to sit down at the table, without anyone telling her, Jessy naturally took a seat next to me. I control myself so as not to let my disorder appear in front of those close to me. I feel myself vibrate every time his arm brushes mine. From time to time, Jessy looks at me sideways and gives a little amused smile, and I immediately blush ! 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnYu8aDZZjs
The meal passes in a good atmosphere until Nina, as usual, says out loud what she is thinking : 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6N5mSO6Zq0
— You're not bad, Jessy, but I prefer Chad. It is awesome ! 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjms4UQLFJH
— Nina ! We don't say that kind of thing ! Reprimands my mother.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYSUEKDn6cx
— For what ? I tell the truth.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoNsCbhXRFK
— Chad is nice, Jessy responds politely.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCqRVUkpqMZ
— And he’s strong ! Nina continues, making me want to throw myself over the table and strangle her.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ32riLAVgHB
— It’s true, Chad is a great athlete, adds my father. He also taught Megan how to drive. Considering the number of guests at his party the other night, he's also very popular. He has everything going for him, this boy, says my father, whom I would like to strangle at the same time as my sister.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcyRnU3wIuj
— It’s true that he’s really lucky, Jessy whispers, looking at me.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgoL6igyl1G
I stare at him, not knowing how to react. I have a sudden and insane desire to throw myself into his arms to kiss him, this idea scares me as much as his words made me happy. Also, I'm left speechless, which makes him smile more.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSAs8AXWr6l
At the end of the meal, Jessy helps me clear the table, then asks me where the bathroom is. I tell him. My mother then approaches me and gives me a little smile.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqFQRMb2ku1
— This boy is very nice, she comments quietly so that only I can hear. And very cute at that.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡToRjGcF9Iu
I glance at him sideways, smiling.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpiw52CZQU
"I suppose you know what you're doing ? "416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaIGHvEqmk7
— Not really.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZcHt4yMOZo
— Meg, you’re sixteen. You didn't make a lifelong commitment to Chad. You are all young, you have the right to be carefree. I was, at your age, and I didn't know your father until much later, when I decided to settle down.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr15do59hjk
— You know very well that I am too serious to let myself be guided by my emotions without having first thought for hours.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSI23BHbRqz
— Yes, I know, my mother sighs. And at first glance, I would say that Jessy seems to be just like you.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc4KidSCPqS
— You think that…416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFudYXTz4LL
I want to ask her if she thinks Jessy is interested in me, but I leave it hanging when I see him coming back to us.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHYzOC9j6ct
— Thank you very much for inviting me to your table. It's getting late, I'm going to go home.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu3NcJJlTzj
— Wait, I'm going to walk with you for a while.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6scFlQAegP
Jessy nods before going to grab his jacket hanging on a hook in the entryway.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN8jgLlwSz7
— Thanks again ! Have a good evening everyone, he says as he leaves.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDqvRDFsYHe
— Megan ! 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq1QdAc122J
I turn to my mother who is standing in the hallway, at the entrance to the kitchen.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOQ8cNMi6xD
— I am sure of it ! 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXhpzufQe2M
I give him a big smile.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqoyXWMItrC
— She is sure of what ? Asks Jessy who heard everything from the porch.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtsriMVDEAf
— Oh, you're welcome, just something I asked him.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiV7pjC2cM6
Fortunately, he doesn't insist.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXb01cb2q7V
We walk down the sidewalk in silence.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIw6woSGos
My neighborhood is a quiet place, where all the houses416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr6UFKOPUiu
look alike with their little white fence surrounding the garden. Only the colors of the houses vary from one to another, sometimes white with blue shutters, sometimes brown with red shutters. Our family home is cream with green shutters. My father makes a point of maintaining it well, repainting it as soon as the paint shows signs of age, and mowing the lawn regularly. This corner of the city is not known for being the richest, but at least its inhabitants ensure that nothing can damage it. I love this quiet little town which seems to live as if in a cocoon where nothing serious ever happens and where the smallest event, like the arrival of Jessy, is experienced as big news. This thought pulls me out of my reverie and, turning back to my companion, I decide to question him.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQpUzwTL2nf
— Did you move here alone ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPfdVi1IuOI
This seems incongruous to me since he is only seventeen, but I never see him with anyone, not even in town.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1BsixKOr2a
— No, I live with my mother.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeYqcmCV8V3
— And your father ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtzlUid6jKU
— My father died when I was a kid.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡulxGXrQetN
— Sorry.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxmxs1jJh4
— It's nothing. My mother remarried and I have a little brother, Jason, who is now seven.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlIQwl3q8VO
— So your father in law and your brother live with you ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnEy9TXq8Jk
Jessy grimace. 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM81Jgi1GTb
— No, they stayed in Allentown.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjDLnwQIhuJ
— For what ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwErlHqZgFX
Jessy gives me a big smile while answering : 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0bg7LDFY5e
— Joker ! 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVHfDR6A0OI
Preferring not to insist, I move on to other questions : 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW5GeUEEofb
— Why did you leave Allentown ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlEe7okbqGN
— Re joker ! 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYwWe9GiKRR
— OK. I always see you alone... but you must have friends ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Ss9C0Z40b
— You know, I just arrived and I don’t know anyone yet, except you. In Allentown, I had friends, or so I thought, but..., he interrupts himself, purses his lips, shaking his head : 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡANIlgWBltR
— I don't want to talk about it... Let's just say, sometimes you think you know people and you're wrong.
— Like me the other night...416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ZqJASSVmS
Looking serious, he nods.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzjrZwMRcL4
— So you’re from Allentown ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9kx08UkJWq
— Yes, I lived in a small neighborhood where everyone had known each other forever, a bit like this one. (He looks around.) Except that in town, we couldn't see the stars as well.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk4olunFV6a
I follow his gaze, staring at the sky illuminated by hundreds of sparkling points that no cloud hides. I feel very small and fragile in the face of this immensity. It's strange to find myself next to this boy to whom I feel close and who, at the same time, intimidates me so much.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx8Aw86Fa1T
— Your family loves Chad very much, he said suddenly, breaking this magical moment. How long have you been together ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoJvkhCeJHO
I sit on the low wall bordering a house for sale.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt24ZEIJW5C
— My father was a big athlete in high school and I think he recognizes himself in Chad. My mother finds him cute and nice, and my sister is in love with him, I think ! (I smile.) He and I have known each other for a very long time, since kindergarten in fact…416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkt64ko9UV8
— And you’ve always loved him, Jessy adds, sitting down next to me.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡun1uyQbSJB
I blush and lower my head.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6csSrdE3wR
— It’s complicated… But let’s talk about you instead. Did you leave a girlfriend in Allentown ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡetEkAsxsDG
Jessy turns to me and raises his eyebrows, visibly surprised. I stare at him, both impatient and dreading his answer.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXWd0vfh6HU
— Your question is strange...
— Why ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx87PvtLmwZ
— Because you're dating the perfect guy according to everyone around you, so I wonder what your questioning is hiding.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhVwIJHVR1S
— It wasn’t you who told me that you shouldn’t necessarily listen to what others say ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGVYWr0L7rX
— Touché, he smiled. Let's say I had a girlfriend.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtrL3VdxsNg
— You still have ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ543mc2X78f
— Well no, we split up...416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoj45jJ7Kmu
I don't give him time to finish his sentence as my lips are already on his. Immediately, he kisses me back.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvB0OSz2W69
His lips are soft and warm on mine, I feel him slide a hand to my waist, pulling me closer to him until, as suddenly as it began, he pushes me back forcefully before standing up abruptly. jump, visibly annoyed.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWluriRMVCa
— That’s not true ! Why did you do it ? He writes to himself while standing in front of me, hands on hips waiting for a response.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0NIRWI5FcD
— I don’t know, I said as sincerely as possible. Since I met you, I have felt lost. I don't know why but I feel like I've known you forever and this feeling totally upsets me. I was hoping you felt the same way I did.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ9JZc5Lh0F
Far from calming down, Jessy walks away from me, walking as quickly as he can. I get up and run after him.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡshychA6CoJ
— Jessy, wait ! What is happening ? Please don't tell me that kiss was that bad ! 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhMX58tt23V
He doesn't stop though. I grab him by one arm, forcing him to stop his way.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpSkbwoz6a7
He glares at me.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQ6gnGvNI5
— I'm sorry if... I shouldn't have kissed you, but I honestly thought you wanted to too.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7h8EzuZggC
— It is, he whispers, staring at me.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡup9tbWYIpz
— So where is the problem ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwRipX5tYCX
— I can not do that.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ09JXPBqits
— But why ? I know that compared to Chad it's a bad thing but...416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEl0CgB30kX
— It has nothing to do with him. The problem is me. I'm not made for love, he gets angry again. I gave too much, now that is forbidden to me.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPNQg6uSsS9
He frees himself from my hand before continuing on his way. Staying there, I say to him : 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt5T2X6EGV9
— I don't understand ! You can't pretend to want to kiss me and then run away like that a second later. It's not me who made you suffer so why should I pay for what others made you endure ? I'm not your ex ! 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu7FHzwvvFC
Abruptly, he stops his running, turns around before coming back towards me. His features are distorted by anger but I also read a form of pain there.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIznAB5qNOx
— No, you are not the one who changed my life and I in no way wish to become the one who changes yours in the same way ! My life is ruined Meg, I'm already at the end. I'm going to die, he adds when he sees that I don't understand his words.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQnXrI0gusV
— Wh... What ? I stammer, in shock.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiprfn01a35
He gets closer. His face is only a few centimeters from mine.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGsSKTdJu4m
— Meg, I'm HIV positive. I have the AIDS virus, he admits quietly so that no one else can hear him, although the street is deserted. So stay away from me, believe me it's better ! 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPo5CT7xQXt
He leaves as quickly as possible. Soon night envelops it completely. For a long moment, I stay there, dismayed, unable to make the slightest gesture, no longer knowing what to think. His words seem to spin in my head like a wild merry go round that no one can stop. I don't know how long I stand on that sidewalk looking in his direction long after he's gone.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ769ZMCOkIo
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When I get home, I try not to let anything show and lock myself in the kitchen. I thought I would be safe, but as soon as I closed the door, my mother opened it and stuck her head in.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnShHbFBFRc
— Are you okay, Meg ? You're very pale, aren't you sick ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZVx6CgQ7kh
— Everything is fine. I miss Nicolas, I would like to talk to him.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRB8RR2XwV9
Understanding the message, my mother nods and closes the door behind her. Immediately, I grab the phone and dial my brother’s number. Luckily he answers after two rings.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr1i2uJT4Sn
— Hello ? he says, happily.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWzxRWQrECz
— Nick, it’s me.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjwVPLl1GOT
I'm having a hard time keeping the tremors in my voice at bay.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiDJpOBCSJd
— Meg, what’s going on ? He worries.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyiPW54px3F
The day I met Jessy, I told my brother that same evening. He seemed happy that a boy other than Chad was messing with me. For some reason, Nick always grimaced at my relationship with Chad. 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDqeDScKhom
— Jessy came to the house for dinner this evening... 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQP0pF0EMPZ
— Oh, he sighs, he threw you away.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQSGi3HIkcv
I think about the way I kissed him and feel myself blushing again. If I had known how he was going to push me away, I would never have let myself be carried away by my desire.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5GA86YLXNN
— Yes, but that’s not the worst, I sob. Jessy admitted to me that she was sick.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRaMIC4v1JE
Realizing the horror of the situation, I fall to the ground. I am not afraid of AIDS, I know that I risk nothing. But I am terrified for Jessy, for his future which is likely to be short. My brother doesn't speak, he gives me time to calm down. When my sobs dry up, I continue : 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZDOntPsz3t
— Jessy is HIV positive, I blurt out in one breath.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ2yOrUyJyT
A gasp of surprise escapes my brother.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmew94vK525
— Okay, he breathes, making me understand that he’s thinking about the situation. What are you going to do ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1x4vyBcw5w
— I don't know. Nick, I need to know your opinion.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ39v6ROrlXA
— I admit that I didn't expect that at all. Do you see yourself turning your back on him ? 416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdkayXlswH3
— I wouldn't be able to.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO2o7brEHuk
— Meg, I know this probably isn't the kind of relationship you imagined, but based on what you've told me so far about this guy, I think right now he especially needs support and friendship. Don’t reject him because he doesn’t match your ideal.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvyISpcRsUo
— Exactly, he corresponds to my ideal and the fact that he is ill changes nothing. If I am devastated it is because AIDS is an incurable disease. I don't want him to die, Nick, I'm crying again.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWPoCK58eHC
I am aware that I have only known him for a short time but, without being able to explain it, he has already marked my existence.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3McE40SJIf
— Come on, little sister, don’t cry. For now, Jessy is alive and, even if he keeps you at a distance, I'm sure he would be happy to have you in his life. Try to make him smile while he's here. He must need to think about something other than this crap.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiQESIkVf76
— You're right. Nick, what I confided to you must absolutely remain between us. No one should know.416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa0dh1v8Ovj
— Finally you know me ! Come on now tell me how he dumped you ! He laughs as I bite my lip in shame.
