— No, I don't feel like it.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvkMMr2GdvR
— But yes, it will be fun.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHPn4iSYiMe
— What's the funny thing about going to school on a day when there's no class ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5u5lZ7CCIh
We have one of those discussions where I try to convince him to come out. This time, I set my sights on the Halloween party that the school organizes like every year on the evening of October 31st.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIKnmK9FF4L
I thought about his question for a moment. How can I make him give in this time ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTOHlkSELXB
— The classes will be emptied of their desks. There will be entertainment, sweets… a ball.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT46INLztYj
He raises an eyebrow and makes me understand that this is not a given.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaBLBp4AD9b
— Do you see me dancing ? ! 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp95rcqFxBg
I ignore his reply and continue mischievously : 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN3xL7RwUFX
— We will be disguised, and you can annoy everyone who criticizes you from behind. Why else do you think I would go ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQZ6IQY125
I can see by his expression that I have a point.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD2qtOsUJdW
— Hello, Megan.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡinBMhLlU2o
— Hello, Elise, are you well ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWXrCXC118u
I spend so much time with Jessy that I have become very close to Mrs. Sutter. She is always happy to see me at their place and invites me to come whenever I want. I feel a bit like home there.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhStaZQffqC
— Where will you go in disguise ? Asks Elise who heard my last sentence.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDf2vT7aY8y
— At the high school Halloween party.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXmMC3Cf9Jp
— Good idea ! 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2tXVMRctre
With one look, Jessy glares at his mother. Mrs. Sutter places a laundry basket on the dining room table where we are and begins to fold the clothes. I grab a T-shirt and spread it on the table to help him.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhaw1JsrR9c
— It will do you good to go out and have fun, you stay too cooped up here ruminating.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtf8qtDxUHi
— I like to be alone with my thoughts, Jessy defends, grabbing the T-shirt I’m holding in my hands.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAUh62mfmPv
— Luckily you're here, Meg, otherwise he'd never leave his room.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMfpZLTmHBJ
I grab another piece of clothing and start folding it.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWkiz7WJ7bl
— Mom, stop. It’s okay, you win, I’ll go to the damn party ! But Meg, please stop worrying about my clothes ! 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfki3SEaFCr
I look down at the item of clothing I'm holding : it's one of his boxers. I let go immediately, but I already feel my cheeks turning red. Jessy grabs it and hides it behind his back. His face is as red as mine.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEuGUzqlYEl
— Sorry… I’m… so used to doing it… at home, I said, stuttering.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjcYFNIXY75
Mrs. Sutter bursts out laughing as she watches us.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcFKhOfL0pJ
— Mission accomplished, she comes to high five me.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiqLaEDKCx5
— What are we going to disguise ourselves as ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYiEaMG7um
— There's no way I'm going to wear a suit ! 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy6pZrVP1Fw
Jessy responds quickly, looking at us in turn.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWmGbc8skAl
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0qQDGKwQ4J
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4N0TtSrsRc
The next week, we're in the main hallway of the school during break time, talking about the Halloween party. I keep trying to convince Jessy to dress up but he remains stubborn.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaDllxNlwO5
— I could see you as James Dean, I think out loud as I look at him.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡegQGHeJzj2
— Is it because I'm going to die young like him ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNHQjYz7Cok
Immediately, I grimace.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Qt6mUkYh1
— Stop with that ! I was thinking of James because you are handsome and sexy like him but if you prefer to see the negative side...207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGA1Qpu9VsA
— I was joking, he smiled. Beautiful and sexy, huh ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpK5VphBQsI
I roll my eyes, smiling as my cheeks turn red. My words came out before I could hold them back. In Jessy's presence, I feel like I'm losing my composure. It is enough for him to stare at me with those beautiful green eyes for my mouth to respond without having the approval of my brain.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡES7qjaBjNC
— I’m dreaming where your cheeks are all red, he mocks, pointing to my face with his index finger.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcsUgMRZaHK
I give him a little tap on the arm which makes him burst out laughing. I love hearing this sound. I have seen him so angry, sullen, lonely, that when he laughs I am happy.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1lJSDCqjSU
— At times, you remind me of my brother. You have the same dubious humor every…207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjDJNylPx2
I leave my sentence hanging as my smile freezes when I see Amy passing near us. She gives me an icy look and completely ignores Jessy.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI3CuV6EeJ7
— Why is Amy looking at you like that ? Jessy asks me.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc6n2PCGX5m
I turn to him, trying to ignore my former friend. I don't want her to realize how much her attitude hurts and disappoints me.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaneBoaG6g3
— I don't know. Since I'm no longer with Chad, she doesn't speak to me anymore. To think that she was my best friend... As children, we were all together often : Chad, Amy and me. And today, I feel like I've lost a part of my past.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBZpW2uUciv
— People change and evolve differently over the years. She'll come back to you one of these days.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJregx5iPrO
— You think ? I ask him, hoping he's telling the truth.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ed7L5X1H4
— I'm sure. Who could give up a friend like you ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrSwhO15JNj
— Yeah, a friend, I breathe with annoyance while scrutinizing him.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ8Dohhbl99
I would really like him to see me as something other than his friend.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNKw4VUIPjd
— And with Chad, where are you ? He questions casually.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2G8tzbDqWW
— Nowhere. We haven't spoken in several weeks. I turned the page on him. On the other hand, I continue by staring at him. There are three other boys who asked me on a date.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡczxzH7XJAN
Am I dreaming or has his expression suddenly changed ? He lowers his face, staring at the ground as if it holds all the answers in the universe.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJkW3HKwTsu
— Did you agree to go out with them ? He whispers in a strangled voice.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCyP0XPtGF
— No, I refused. You're the only guy I want to spend time with at the moment.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk9bZ20VrKp
Suddenly, he lifts his face and smiles. I observe him carefully. Maybe he doesn't really see me as a friend after all. It’s enough to make me smile again.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw2fShKaVR7
— You and Chad broke up shortly after I arrived in town, but there was one thing that struck me from the few times I saw you together.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ327XJRgpHO
— Ah good ? What ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9qUUqncdix
— The distance there was between you. I mean, you were never in each other's arms or making a move to touch each other.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW7n0kpRDfE
— Is that what you did with your exes ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ08wycUjJc3
I scrutinize him to read his reaction which does not take long : 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsdyQNgm2Hl
— No, but I have never been in love.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeXlu38y3we
— Maybe Chad didn’t like me that much, I shrug. Or that I'm not the type of girl that guys like to hug.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOuf7IBtEHv
— Oh yes, any man would be happy to be able to hold you against him, he says without a shadow of hesitation.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNZpG5mk1sL
So why don't you do it ? ! I want to ask him.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKYy2PEkaMJ
But suspecting that this would turn him on, I just stare at him and remain silent. However, I am happy with his admission, so I continue with a smile : 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc2usOkR0sL
— So for Halloween, what are we dressing up as ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlco6PakQTp
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRHeByWQBcV
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8KnzomAAl
On Friday evening, I found my parents in the living room while waiting for Jessy to arrive. I enter the room and turn around asking them : 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIpty86SSN1
— Is my dress okay ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXCW4Q8Ik5i
— You are very chic, admire my father.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8voRaL4HQp
For the occasion, I opted for a black Charleston— style dress, and my hairstyle is adorned with a white feather. It's not my favorite outfit, but Jessy only agreed to wear a very classy suit jacket.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWTElNghd6F
— Megan, why do you have a mask in your hand ? Nina asks.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYETE2j9iD6
— I'll put it on when I get to school. I promised Jessy that, under cover of anonymity, he could annoy the students who criticize him.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRBbtsMwrf4
My mother laughs.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUuN4GopVqf
— That’s definitely your idea ! 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzVDN1PIMxf
— It was one of the arguments to decide him to leave his house.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAlXKjwcx4Y
— You two spend a lot of time together, my father comments seriously.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO0BPzBqTtp
— Yes, he’s great ! 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJ2E5e40Y3
— You know we love Jessy, but we're worried about you.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNkZqI00NP5
— We are just friends.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA7Sf1ONX6D
— I'm not talking about that. Losing someone close to you is difficult.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUYYs2Bfpl
— I know. I know that one day he may no longer be here, but if that were to happen, I would have time to prepare for it. And he's my best friend, I can't stop seeing him, that wouldn't be fair to him or me.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzJ0ivWn7RD
— Are you sure it’s just friendship ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLAHYHNA0oe
My father examines my face which immediately turns purple.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37nXIplc58
— I preferred Chad, my sister objects, sulking.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJoCoYDbIEK
Without meaning to, Nina makes me smile again and distracts my father's attention. Admitting to myself that I'm in love with Jessy is one thing, dropping this bombshell in front of my father is another. I already know the moral lesson that would await me.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpCqbpC8F0A
— And I find this school rule stupid which stipulates that you have to be fifteen years old to be able to attend this evening. I would have liked to go there ! She says, crossing her arms over her chest.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr25ZeSDaXP
— Then you should have asked Chad to invite you ! I said, provoking her.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx8qFr7XNTT
In response, she taps her foot on the ground while the doorbell rings.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsbdQ1bWFni
— I go ! 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkZ11YDnquT
I rush to open the door to Jessy. And I literally stand there glued to the spot when I see him in his black suit with a white shirt, black tie and hat. In his hand he holds a white mask similar to mine. He exudes a particular charm that disturbs me even more than usual, which is saying something.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkulbaaP3OL
After a few seconds of examining each other, he leans towards me to hang a white rose on the strap of my dress.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZvjIr4aCT
— How pretty you are, he whispered to me.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtqKkgWVnX8
His hands brush the skin of my shoulder and I feel myself melting. I take a deep breath to force myself to pull myself together.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡstWudHLfyq
— Isn't that okay ? He asks me, visibly worried.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡipjnocagR4
I can't tell him the truth. He was very clear with me when I let myself kiss him. And even though he hasn't spoken to me about it again, I still feel a burning shame. Since then I have restrained my actions and am content to be the friend he needs so much.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQicY2B2PVO
— Yes, it's going very well. It’s just that it’s hot in the house and cold outside, the contrast struck me. Come on, just a minute, I'll get my coat.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjWPlxxiSu
He nods and follows me to the living room where he politely greets my family as usual.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMBdduYa1eh
— Wow, Jessy ! This costume suits you really well ! Launches my mother.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5iYK5zuEMC
— Thank you, Mrs. Crawfords. Nina, I thought of you, I brought you a little thing to console you for not being able to come to the party.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXTg6WciFae
He takes a rose similar to mine out of his pocket and hands it to my sister, who is speechless for a few seconds.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA17AeFFwN1
— Thank you, Jessy, she finally said. Then looking at us, she adds : I take back everything I said earlier, it’s Jessy, my favorite ! 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8vlO2FrSxA
We burst out laughing.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6N601eIsBz
— Well done, Jessy, you managed to dethrone Chad ! My father is joking.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR1zaIsmIwA
— It wasn’t won though, smiled the young man. — Here we go ? I ask him.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrOcx4C7ZNr
Jessy makes a hesitant face and answers me without much enthusiasm : 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtC9NXxoEab
— I would have done without it, but since I have to… let’s go ! 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdSypqO4f5y
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMYvrJUirP8
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Two hours later, I see that Jessy is having a good evening. We took the route of anxiety : a walk in the middle of the corridors of the high school which, for the occasion, were decorated as a house of horror with skeletons suddenly appearing in front of us, vampires thirsty for blood who throw themselves on those who dare to approach them or even werewolves who run after us in the feigned hope of devouring us. There are many activities, but Jessy doesn't forget his little revenge either. When we pass a tall dark guy dressed as Dracula, whom my companion immediately recognizes as one of his persecutors, he puts on his mask, approaches slowly and manages to drop off without anyone, except me, noticing. has a large rubber tarantula on his shoulder. A moment later, we hear a scream echo through the classroom as the guy in question squirms in every direction to escape the spider. Jessy and I walk out of the room laughing until we cry.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKhdErEGint
— I admit, he said to me shortly after in one of the corridors, when we caught our breath, that just for that, it was worth coming ! 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd6edEs3Xep
— See, I told you we’d have fun ! 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQvYriyXe70
— You were right, thank you for forcing my hand. (He takes off his mask before staring at me.) Of all the people I know, you are always there for me, no matter what. For what ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb8arI0nDQE
He is suddenly serious.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡju3lSU1MRG
Can't you see that I'm in love with you, idiot ! 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOdgUcLzSWn
I want to tell him, but I hold back.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNcBiBi9tdq
Instead, I answer him : 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡccpzBQrigw
— Why not ? You're my friend, right ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcpsZVDPrPx
He nods, and his green eyes shine with a strange light.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx7Bs61jY9m
— Oh, Jessy, come ! 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3fY7fQiTU4
Without waiting for a response, I grab him by the sleeve of his suit and force him to follow me into one of the classes that says : Come discover your future through cards.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQc0mhLooC8
For the occasion, the room, deliberately darkened, was divided into three parts by curtains, thus constituting cabins where clairvoyants sit. We approach one of them.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPj7Ros9enH
— Can we ? I said, pointing to the seats in front of her.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp0NlefMGwX
— Of course, my children, come. Sit down.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOgx5dSvuTN
She is a small woman with brown hair, with a fairly fleshy build, who inspires confidence at first glance.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVOKP6DGUVD
— Who wants to start ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUyVYGdufHF
Jessy and I exchange a look.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwpVafvUCbK
"Iron, Meg."207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡodUzn0z3PC
— OK, draw seven cards from the fan in front of you.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV7kvcDbeHD
She turns the cards over one after the other, arranging them in a sort of large cross.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfpZqhT8u3T
— You are a nice girl, a little too serious at times, she said to me. You are always there for the people you love. This card, which designates the Empress, tells me that you are good at studies. I can assure you that you will go to university and study for a long time. A great job awaits you at the end.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIXJ6v1Xp9d
I'm happy, studies are very important to me.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY16uYXih2w
— This card, she continues, showing me the Lover, — tells me that you are hesitating between two boys. One has the key to your heart and the other relationship is more controlled by your reason, the first boy completely capsizes you, the second rather symbolizes security.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNNX5wEsKXb
I feel myself blushing from head to toe and, silently, I thank the heavens that the room is just lit by candles. Jessy and Chad ! Only I'm not in love with Chad and I'm banking on love... I feel Jessy's gaze weighing on me, but I don't dare respond.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC3CHhHZuxc
— I can't tell you more, it will be up to you to choose between these two men, she places her hand on mine.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmh827pZUBG
— Thanks.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡofAOL3Ty7m
— Your turn, young man, announces the woman, shuffling her cards before spreading them again on the table.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4K4gCEdNze
As I did, Jessy takes out seven cards from the deck and turns them over as she goes.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcolt4TqaMc
— You are a kind boy, very sensitive, who has suffered a lot, but you do everything to keep it from showing. You play tough to hide your heart of gold. You are gifted in studies, but this card, it points to the Moon, leads me to believe that you are especially gifted in the arts. The drawing ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe531FE4PUI
— I painted a lot, but I stopped for a while.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA0yD7OavT8
— You should start again. You are an anxious boy, and this would calm you down.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Sfw9Eqv1I
She turns over another card : the Hermit.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgSYppsVXoD
— This one tells me that you tend to run away from others. You like to be alone and, at the same time, you experience this solitude as if you were afraid of the world around you. Yet you are not alone... There is someone in your life that you love, but, for I don't know what reasons, you seem to be running away from this love that life offers you.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9fCtO2mKwp
I see Jessy growing nervous next to me as he stares intently at the cards.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjCP3i71fW3
The clairvoyant turns over the penultimate card : the Nameless Arcana. Despite myself, I flinch.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF1rXhRRWCC
— Don't worry, the lady is reassuring, this card is scary with the skeleton reaping it represents, but it rarely means physical death. Above all, it is a sign of change in life. Your existence will be turned upside down, you will succeed in overcoming your fears to fully live your destiny.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRmMpqbJCgD
She turns over the last card : the World.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHmixtMGnEe
— In the coming months, you are going to be very happy young man, much more than you imagine, but for that, you must open your heart to accept the gift that is being given to you, said the clairvoyant, looking Jessie.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSV3lQFMSs5
— Thank you, Madam, he stammers, visibly embarrassed.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAEyjZZOFFW
— One last thing : Concerning your health, just live day to day without worrying too much. Destiny is destiny, you cannot change what will happen.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ngXWAbOC2
Jessy nods, looking serious, even though my heart is pounding. Has she just confirmed his imminent death ? His words are enigmatic to me but not to207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcVvDRQrqxI
Jessy who gets up quickly and leaves the room, I follow suit.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN6mpRPSOV8
— Jessy, are you okay ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjyLwRoOeyF
— Yes, very good.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjnA3M40htX
— I'm sorry. It was a stupid idea to go see a psychic.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnfGRcXFJIQ
He stops and turns to me.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzKY34DYMlC
— Don't worry, she told us an ending that you and I already know.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi885qsmyyT
— It wasn't that clear to me.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjgnlqRO8fH
— Yes, but you are always overly optimistic while I…207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVXwtCehKNv
— You are disarmingly pessimistic.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZVUyIBynGg
My reply makes Jessy laugh.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9oIvDInQcd
— It's true. Between the two of us, we have the perfect balance.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKPKJF9vfjS
I smile in turn, thinking about how we complement each other perfectly.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTCWZ1AvRaX
— Seriously, are you sure you’re okay ? If you want, can we go back ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVYOZKGsojb
— No, we're having fun. Come on, come on ! 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEKfwAbbZQQ
He gives me a reassuring wink. For the first time, he takes my hand, which suddenly makes me feverish, and guides me towards the gymnasium which has been transformed into a ballroom. Black and orange garlands cascade from the ceiling, paper pumpkins have been installed on the tables where soft drinks are served. In the four corners of the room, plastic skeletons held by wires move like puppets. In the center of the room, students wiggle to the rhythm of a wild Rolling Stones song.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpOxcFzvCWn
— You are thirsty ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBzthVpIkLy
I nod with a nod. Jessy leaves me to go get two cups. I look around the room. In a corner, I see Chad dressed as a vampire, and his friends. Apparently they are the ones responsible for leading the anxiety journey. Then a tall blonde girl comes and kisses him full on the mouth. Despite her Marilyn Monroe disguise, I recognized Amy immediately. That's why she's been running away from me since we broke up, she did everything to seduce him and it worked. Chad quickly forgot me and her, that traitor ! Jessy returns with the cups. I drink mine dry.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd7QZwYBRAL
— What do you have ? He asked in front of my furious face.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC3uv5oQDLc
I nod and show him Chad and Amy.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHtwhiJHBpU
— Oops, is the only sound that comes out of his mouth.
Jessy looks over to the corner where Chad and Amy are watching us, seeming to be watching for my reaction.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzIpI1W5Ae2
— Come Dance.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS0knEpiA5V
He takes my hand again, which has the effect of calming me down immediately.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLW0xULqQEH
— I thought you didn't dance ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5r4C1BczbG
— I never said that.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡptBJL3Sxw2
His smile completely melts me. I let myself be guided to the dance floor. The music starts with a soft song. Like every time I'm in contact with Jessy, my heart starts racing. Without thinking, I put my arms around his neck, while he places his hands on my waist. Soon my head is resting on his shoulder. I breathe in its sweet and intoxicating scent, a mixture of flower soaps and aftershave. I feel wonderful, everything is so natural with him. But he stops abruptly. His gaze is focused on a girl, small in stature, with bobbed red hair, who turns her back to us and is chatting with friends a few steps from us.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGsUIk8OwwG
Jessy doesn't take his eyes off her as I feel his shoulders tense.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn9Ya3e2pNc
— What is…207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡedou33Vk8W
The girl turns around, revealing her face to us. Jessy takes a deep breath before turning his attention back to me.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfzkvMdfaPF
— I need to get some fresh air, he tells me, white as a sheet.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXOtdxxA2i5
We push through the crowd to the parking lot where he takes a deep breath. A cold wind rose, carrying with it the dead leaves from the trees to our feet.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3uQol14QFl
We lean against a car.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcGm6p2mkQD
— Why are you shaking ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZwdSzhpcU4
I question him timidly.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGtKwLvnZGq
— I don't really want to talk about it.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Z0nFV7TT2
— But you are livid ! 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbHBqNglCfb
— I don't want to talk about it. Let's forget that, okay ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡli3c9CZgfw
— Agree as you like.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3dTGaWMG5v
He raises a questioning eyebrow at my resolve. It's not like me to give up so quickly. Usually, I insist that he talks to me, but now, I'm afraid to know the truth.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡArJZ2SWxl1
— Shall we go back ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx2MYTjvzNO
— Yeah, I think it's better after all that.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGSrZ9rrnT
We set off. The high school is only a few blocks from our homes.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtYnJ6xRfpk
— All that ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgacZf00E5u
— Between the clairvoyant, Chad and Amy…207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMHeIBGQznm
— And your latest conquest, I tell him, not being able to contain the feeling of jealousy that has invaded me since he saw this girl.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb2ndqUGK7h
Jessy turns to me.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLm2xdNy1kd
— It's not what you think. I thought it was Haley... The girl who gave me AIDS.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1RXWXrVWTu
— Every time you talked to me about the virus, you told me you were handling it all. But after seeing your reaction tonight, I think you're handling things the wrong way. You didn't solve the problem with her. I think you should see her again, or at least talk to her.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUiaQgdossz
— I don't see how that would help me. You know, it was just an adventure, but one that I will regret for the rest of my life... — Think about it.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ91CnDcKomg
He nods silently.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPHTkSmmech
I don't add anything. It's his story, and only he knows whether he wants to look straight ahead after settling his scores, or stay immersed in a past that gnaws at him.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi4ogyiXumq
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZKMX1wETI
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa3vWgRvCju
The next day is Sunday; dressed in my coat, a scarf and my gloves, I leave my house, determined to face the morning cold which has suddenly fallen on the region.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNxaS3Uml0r
A black car stops next to me.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyH2h4GFKDF
— Hey, a familiar voice calls out to me.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaFSB6oMT10
— Hi. Jessy, do you have a car ? ! 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZy9w0x9VCb
— Eh yes ! I've been talking to my mom about it for a while, and this morning she came back with it. She was so happy to see me out of the house ! You come ? I'll take you.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtZU9Nd2CIp
He starts and, quickly, I see that he is heading towards the highway ramp.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaukbBLQ161
— Where are we going ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvXV4ofVRJ7
— It's coming ! 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe8KN6LLK3j
— At the cinema ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH4vdN9ENsA
— Non. 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaEOd354PyO
— Take a walk in the forest ? No, that's not the road. So, maybe visit a museum ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWUOBB252Hv
— No. You'll see, it's a surprise, and he gives me a big, innocent smile.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCVUd2qj3BW
— OK, anyway, wherever it is, I'm up for it.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOOTBqRHmD9
— Your parents won't be worried ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyMbUVkLkI7
— I told them I was going to see you. They suspect that I'm going to spend the day with you.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY0QGsvJpsm
— And that's going to be the case, because we're not going very close. I don't think we'll be back until tonight.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVg1nZiGqxp
Still want to come ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6PwlCqLhTS
He gets onto the highway.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCcmIppBOVY
— Totally ! 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5faZgYMWqb
— I want to show you Allentown. Today, we are going to walk in the footsteps of my past...207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1laD4KTKaN
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlHPJwvi0PE
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwM3PGhQFIp
After driving for almost three hours, Jessy parks in a small suburban street that seems very nice. All the houses are undoubtedly owned by wealthy people.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRatXFA1Bug
— We have arrived, he declares, getting out of the car.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhnondxqjgN
I'm happy that he trusts me enough to show me the places that mattered to him. I get out and look at the house we are parked in front of. It is a single storey white villa with a well kept lawn. Large bay windows let the sun shine through, and a solid oak door welcomes visitors via a small path which splits the lawn into two parts.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIq3Yh9vqAa
— Is this where you lived ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJxDAS6LHhY
Jessy has an enigmatic smile.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5mQetX82IP
— No, it’s not my place. We're at Haley's.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvGgkz5bTR2
He gestures with his chin towards the beautiful house. I suddenly have a pit in my stomach.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX9uGvErv0o
— What ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIf7DY9Cxf3
— I found her, it was very easy, actually. She told me her name and what neighborhood she lived in, a call to telephone information was enough.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡer2RdDcZbH
He leans back in his car, staring at the house like he can see through the walls. Little by little, his enthusiasm seems to diminish. His face turns pale...207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF4wEfRM2jw
Suddenly, Jessy comes around the car and announces to me : 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsTDyy4CeEY
— Come on, let’s go.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Keh5Dxisw
I remain stunned.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK2HIBW5FuT
— Oh no, we didn’t come all this way to leave now. You need to go talk to him ! 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjFonlzkG27
He stares at me, his face frozen.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN1jVTDBaar
— I am scared.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYeD6qTWY1f
— I know, but if you don't go, you'll be left with everything that's on your heart for a long time to come. You need to move forward Jessy, you can't stay stuck with all these emotions.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMC3JBNs2Ro
He nods and, taking a deep breath, heads towards the house. I see him approaching the door, taking the small gravel path. I'm afraid for him. It rings and only waits a few seconds before the door opens. Jessy enters. I'm not really thrilled that he's seeing one of his ex girlfriends again. What if he fell back into her arms ? This scares me as much as imagining him screaming horrors at him.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVXl0vocqbd
After all, she is HIV positive, he could perfectly well have a real relationship with her. Not just a friendship like with me. Now I'm almost wishing I was sick, my God, I'm really going crazy ! 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQKuqlY8Not
During his absence, I also wonder about his behavior. Just the day before, when we talked about the clairvoyant's words, he repeated to me that he had nothing to offer a woman who, in any case, would quickly tire of only being able to kiss him. I managed to tell him that some relationships go beyond that. But he remained firm in his positions. Lost in my thoughts, I don't see him coming back. I jump when he opens the driver's side door and slides behind the wheel. I see right away that it's not going well. He is even paler than when he went to ring the bell, and his hands are clinging to the steering wheel as if his life depended on it. His whole body is shaking. I feel him at the end of his nerves even though he tries to control himself. I ask him half— heartedly : 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ZooMNowG0
— Did it go wrong ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmNMJfACsv9
— It was his mother who opened the door to me...207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRRcBlSv9Zn
His face expresses such hatred that I immediately think of the evening on the bridge when he was hanging above the void, screaming. I would bet that at this very moment, he would let himself fall under the wheels of vehicles rather than live another minute on this Earth. He struggles to speak, but I don't do anything to rush him.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRC1fexVMNc
— Haley died five months ago.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBo5wImNVJG
I immediately understand the dark thoughts going through his head at that precise moment.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz8r0jRWRIM
— Is that all his mother told you ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYxBBqkNDI0
— Oh no, he gets angry. She told me she is sorry that her child infected me ! She also gave me a letter that Haley wrote to me before she died. We're getting out of here ! 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmU76Mc3OXQ
He starts off with a bang and rushes through the streets which, apparently, hold no secrets for him.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvrLwgrwLk9
— Jessy, please slow down a little, you’re scaring me.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFyIeNyrEKE
He doesn't respond, but I notice that he raises his foot. He drives like this for several minutes, in silence. We enter downtown Allentown. He takes the main artery then branches off several times before stopping abruptly in a small street. On either side, tall buildings block out most of the daylight. Along the buildings with their gray walls, rusty iron fire escapes make the place even more sinister.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdFKQFAKLyI
Jessy gets out of the car and slams the door. I'm. I am so afraid that he will try to end his life. He walks to the center of the street, where metal garbage containers are piled up, and hits them with all his might several times.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiMuwPqvQKu
— Jessy, please calm down, I’m begging you.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡccD1ZxjixQ
— For what ? Can you tell me what all this is for ? What's the point of living ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡczEbFzfibf
— Stopped. (I place myself between him and the trash can on which he pours all his anger.) You are alive ! You hear me ? Are you still alive ! And by the time the disease breaks out, perhaps doctors will have found a treatment. But the force you put into hitting this container, you have to put into fighting yourself.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjjeGPLDDQ7
— But why ? What is keeping me on this planet ? Don't you understand that I'm going to end up like Haley ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJMTNWTBkj
He pushes me away with one arm before knocking again.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPwHTUxTonS
Soon his fist is bloody.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn7Fu99Y96O
— But why are you hitting this trash can ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtaT2S7sAWN
— Because I'm angry, and even then, angry is an understatement for what I feel.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW4Xodyb5gv
— For what ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJGEWpUnVF
He, usually so secretive, finally decides to confide in me while now kicking the poor trash can.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPpEl4UzVFf
— This is the place where my life changed, he said to me, out of breath.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhL2yhemVQb
He stops knocking and points to a spot near the right wall, a little further away.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwD2lKCdhho
— Do you see there ? This is the place where my father, my real father, died. He was killed by a local gang who wanted to steal his money, they dragged him here before shooting him. When I was little, I was terrified of losing my parents. I don’t know where this anxiety came from, it was unreasonable, it woke me up at night. My father reassured me, constantly telling me that he would always be there to protect me, and when I was five, suddenly, he was no longer there. He let me down. He didn't protect me ! Things would have been very different if he were still here. And now Haley is gone ! And it pisses me off because, even if it’s wrong, I would have liked to scream at him with all the rage I have in my heart ! And all I have instead is this damn letter ! 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJTMRNH385u
He takes the missive out of his coat pocket and shakes it in the air, as if he wants to get rid of it but is unable to.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbH3qEkg69
— I understand that well ! But when you calm down, you will want to know what she had to say to you. Your father didn't get to say goodbye to you, Haley did it through these words in this envelope.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGKxYR3cKBj
My voice is choked with sadness. Jessy looks at me, searching in my eyes for the reason for my sudden emotion.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRY3x9MxA1k
— You’re right, he whispers, looking at the letter still in his hand. I must not condemn her, she was not the only one responsible for what happened that evening, he said more calmly.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpSdxAl4i84
— It's true. She didn't know she was sick at the time. But on the other hand, I can't help but feel relieved that you didn't see her again. I know, it’s awful to think that ! 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYAPETWsPvy
I turn away, I don't dare look at him anymore. I just told him about the fear that filled me the first time he mentioned Haley. Even though she infected him, he had a history with her, he was closer to her than he will ever be to me, and it breaks my heart to admit that.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡilea3lxHPV
Jessy stands in front of me and examines my face.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd4GrJLoyfK
— Why do you feel relieved ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡANM4CDvHcB
There is no longer any trace of anger in his voice, just curiosity.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt7BXocmvhr
— For nothing, forget it.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4esoKI5Wg
— Yes, tell me, he breathes softly. I hesitate, watching his piercing gaze.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQmNxHZe9Ch
— Because I was afraid you would get back together with her.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZPOLX4pqf
He looks at me, incredulous.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlzxu7aPtWa
— I know..., I continue but I quickly interrupt myself, no longer knowing how to continue without admitting my feelings.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7bCQbdqS6r
Jessy stares at me for a moment that seems to last forever.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpAlppNoLkU
— When you were with Chad, I said to myself : "Nothing will ever happen between us while he can do anything for her. "207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcUcbtfcoUg
I remain in shock, did he just tell me that he is dying to be with me or was I dreaming ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaTmadhZ6Ya
— I'm not going back with Chad.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUflue74MDP
— It's true ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgILM73kTVK
I nod, grabbing the lapel of his coat.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj23IzqwPxq
— Chad has never been an obstacle between us. He's not the one I want to be with.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKJOHfMWEaJ
He wipes his forehead where beads of sweat appear and looks at his damaged hand.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqHhPnaZlAl
— Actually, I mainly thought that it would scare you to be with me.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiM3aNFDBaB
— Maybe you should have asked me ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKDyVMVORFR
I fiddle with a button on his coat.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5MlqcQ5osf
— It's true.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV3dFpL0wjC
He purses his lips and says : 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdznDuhcY2b
— Do you want to go out with me ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzH8Qkd18Au
Finally you decide ! I smile. Of course I want to be with you, that’s all I’ve thought about since we met.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWr83XqRgWK
Jessy gives me a big smile.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡofLzmE7h7Y
— I don't know how long I'll stay alive.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuz3kSlsHmJ
— We'll see. We're going to make every day count.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjgQfIpXcYv
— And with Chad, is it definitely over ? Are you sure ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjcIvN3E0vc
— Jessy, Chad and I broke up because you came into my life and offered another horizon to my future. When I met you, I realized I never really loved him. He's just a friend. That’s the real reason… At least for me.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9WHn3J4hzy
I hand him some tissues which he wraps around his scratched hand, which has already stopped bleeding. Then he puts his arm around my shoulders, kisses my forehead and leads me towards the car, putting the letter in his coat pocket.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9tJL2WTcsh
— I suspected that I was somewhat responsible for this story, he said, winking at me.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3qt6yZpTj
Suddenly, he hands me the car keys.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpv2tMkOoyV
— I don't feel like driving after all this, would you like it ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfiwY986aqy
Too happy to be able to get behind the wheel, I eagerly grab the keys.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnkAX5ZUS7s
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi2FKrFqNLm
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC8Cj3UANiO
We enter Millisky, the town is deserted at this hour, only the street lights give a semblance of life to the streets. I glance at Jessy, lost in thought. Suddenly, instead of heading towards his house, I change direction and head towards the hill. I can't let him go home like this. Having reached the top, I stop the car. Jessy snaps out of his thoughts and looks around, surprised. He doesn't know this corner of the city where I myself rarely go.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjjAVIrI06
— Where are we ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8fhtqHEChW
— Come with me.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFP1hLVArTn
We are on a small dirt road bordered by a security fence. Tall grass protrudes from the slope overlooking the town. Jessy joins me in front of the car, I take his hand and lead him past one of the sumptuous mansions, which offers a perfect view of the sleeping city.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLj5WaCZdzL
— I know you’re not in good spirits and I understand perfectly why, I assure him. I also know that you're waiting until you're alone to read Haley's letter. But I'm not going to let you do it, I don't want you to be upset, alone, in your corner while I'm worrying about you. Please, Jessy, do this for me. I'm not asking you to read it, I just want you to read it in my presence because whatever you think about it, you're going to need support afterwards and I want to be the one to hug you to make sure that everything will be alright.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWi59TngdHF
With tears in his eyes, he nods.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUpuHgaE2BW
I move a few steps away to give him his privacy. He takes out the envelope, hesitates for a few seconds then opens it. From the first words he reads, I perceive the change in his expression, he seems to be decomposing. Quickly, I see tears rolling down his cheeks while I hold myself back from going to join him because I feel so bad for him. A few seconds later, he stops reading, leans over to lean on the safety barrier as a loud sob escapes him. I can no longer resist and will hug him. My arms are around his neck, my face on his shoulder.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdoY25EziAa
I'm here, Jessy, I'm here, I whisper in his ear.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiU80VrA5aw
He stands up, turns around and hugs me as if I were the only thing holding him back on earth.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNsfEvlSTrm
— Here, he said, handing me the letter.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlC0ZNop81b
— No, it’s meant for you.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV7hKISMeuM
— I don't want to hide anything from you about Haley, not after what you admitted to me earlier.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUK43zyHP4u
Although it bothers me, I grab the paper.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwXw0XdS5pG
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Jessy, 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8OpXOXxCmb
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ51xJKP1v7C
If you are reading this it is because I will no longer be here to speak to you in person. It’s also that you are looking for answers to your questions, explanations. I will try to answer it.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfEr08Unox2
First of all, I wanted to tell you that I am deeply sorry for having infected you. If I had known that I was carrying this virus, I would never have hit on you that evening. As I told you during that famous evening, I wasn't looking for anything serious, yet when I saw you, I liked you straight away. If I left so quickly once we slept together, it was because I could have had feelings for you and coming out of a difficult relationship, I didn't want that.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCn7MeRukva
If you are wondering how I became HIV positive, it was precisely this ex that I had such a hard time forgetting who infected me after cheating on me. He didn't know he was sick either.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjaGPcSHkE
As I write these words to you, I am in the hospital. I don't think I'll get through it. I'm not telling you this to inspire pity, but to tell you that I pray that you never experience the same thing. I sincerely hope that medicine finds a cure before the virus manifests itself. In no case did I want to condemn you to live in this hell, neither you nor the two other boys whom I also infected.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5TbPdE80E4
I'm going to leave consumed with guilt. I pray that God forgives me, that you will be able to forgive me one day.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡClubEHd1Uy
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡra3Zqv0rnd
Haley 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGaLoZGcURx
207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJkrbXuQGn
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These words upset me because they seem so sincere to me. I turn to Jessy who has wiped his eyes but still seems disturbed.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdmDqDWxjwL
— How are you feeling ? I ask him.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZuLDPaQ2PH
— Sad and relieved at the same time. In fact, I feel like life will never give me any gifts and that every one of my hopes will be disappointed.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQGq916dD5Z
— You are wrong, Jessy. You see that ? I point to Millisky lit up in front of us. This is your life today. It is no longer a dark alley in Allentown, nor even a state of the art residence in which many misfortunes hide. No, your life is here now. As for your future, I don't know what it will be like, just as I don't know my future, but there is one thing I am certain of : I will be with you.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡotaU4YBg3J
He leans towards me, I kiss him full on the mouth. This time he kisses me back forcefully. His body presses against mine, making me shiver. From my lips, he lets his mouth slide slowly down to my neck. I savor this kiss, this desire that pushes me to want him ever closer to me. Then he takes my mouth again with a mixture of tenderness and eagerness. With the tip of his tongue, he parts my lips, his tongue caresses mine while he sucks in my breath. No boy, no even Chad has never kissed me like that. I feel faint in his arms, my legs have difficulty supporting me. He moves slightly away from me, staring at me. I can read in his eyes that I won this first battle, he regained faith in life, in my love for him. For the first time since I've known him, he's happy.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV03UY5Lk6o
Behind us, in the house, the group Divinyls can be heard with their songI’m on your side. 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPGgwpwIzew
— Miss Crawfords, will you give me this dance ? 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbYzUL4SPEu
He holds out his hand to me. 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSUsRVuQKP7
— With pleasure.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSTpqlYq7rv
« I’m on your side 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8HRm540jX5
You know I’m not the enemy. » 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6dhxxYMAaq
It's not hot tonight, but sheltered in Jessy's arms, I'm not cold.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0h7qZUkePR
« I love you, babe » rises in the silence of the night.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡktc6GRgWa8
Jessy moves back a few inches and looks at me with a mischievous smile.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7adUqikPVs
— So in the end, who won ? The heart or the reason ? He asks me, quoting the words of the clairvoyant.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhLReF1j5h2
– You are the heart, you always have been, I answer him forcefully.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrgNH3zD86G
« I’ll hold on to you. » 207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfdYI7ClFCV
This is how, snuggled in each other’s arms, the music rocks us.207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBwtIh7YsK
« I love you babe, I love you babe, I’m on your side. »207Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNfi0FAEQQ2
