— No, I don't feel like it.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6t96lHiOAj
— But yes, it will be fun.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHohUx6w354
— What's the funny thing about going to school on a day when there's no class ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr2TwMlNs5d
We have one of those discussions where I try to convince him to come out. This time, I set my sights on the Halloween party that the school organizes like every year on the evening of October 31st.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvdaNkLsSMe
I thought about his question for a moment. How can I make him give in this time ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ52fDveWrpL
— The classes will be emptied of their desks. There will be entertainment, sweets… a ball.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7QZmdbDfh
He raises an eyebrow and makes me understand that this is not a given.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4WRBS2UftW
— Do you see me dancing ? ! 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnup4yAFJgp
I ignore his reply and continue mischievously : 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8tYcpoYW60
— We will be disguised, and you can annoy everyone who criticizes you from behind. Why else do you think I would go ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOypKITjKq0
I can see by his expression that I have a point.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCNcW5zmnw
— Hello, Megan.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdBvagEKbU6
— Hello, Elise, are you well ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsUdUgPwoqI
I spend so much time with Jessy that I have become very close to Mrs. Sutter. She is always happy to see me at their place and invites me to come whenever I want. I feel a bit like home there.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs5XV4spJpy
— Where will you go in disguise ? Asks Elise who heard my last sentence.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZZD6RKnJ2O
— At the high school Halloween party.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpVUFc8vXWK
— Good idea ! 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBsnKYRQiCr
With one look, Jessy glares at his mother. Mrs. Sutter places a laundry basket on the dining room table where we are and begins to fold the clothes. I grab a T-shirt and spread it on the table to help him.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOPKZitscg7
— It will do you good to go out and have fun, you stay too cooped up here ruminating.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡij5C56nQji
— I like to be alone with my thoughts, Jessy defends, grabbing the T-shirt I’m holding in my hands.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkvesu7PZnh
— Luckily you're here, Meg, otherwise he'd never leave his room.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzIevylJr9P
I grab another piece of clothing and start folding it.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu277V0746C
— Mom, stop. It’s okay, you win, I’ll go to the damn party ! But Meg, please stop worrying about my clothes ! 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr6GsZxZICO
I look down at the item of clothing I'm holding : it's one of his boxers. I let go immediately, but I already feel my cheeks turning red. Jessy grabs it and hides it behind his back. His face is as red as mine.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqLnCUmY4bb
— Sorry… I’m… so used to doing it… at home, I said, stuttering.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIc5b9cMauX
Mrs. Sutter bursts out laughing as she watches us.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDusOvWK0gw
— Mission accomplished, she comes to high five me.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw9VRxhHzsJ
— What are we going to disguise ourselves as ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmDNI1RkpCi
— There's no way I'm going to wear a suit ! 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkqCxbeGco9
Jessy responds quickly, looking at us in turn.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJg5mqJN7Z5
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The next week, we're in the main hallway of the school during break time, talking about the Halloween party. I keep trying to convince Jessy to dress up but he remains stubborn.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXfNAMUGSer
— I could see you as James Dean, I think out loud as I look at him.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJA164uKuiS
— Is it because I'm going to die young like him ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGiIHRgSbsx
Immediately, I grimace.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeuogY8jiAa
— Stop with that ! I was thinking of James because you are handsome and sexy like him but if you prefer to see the negative side...230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGb1WrOb3V0
— I was joking, he smiled. Beautiful and sexy, huh ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf8bstFGCgd
I roll my eyes, smiling as my cheeks turn red. My words came out before I could hold them back. In Jessy's presence, I feel like I'm losing my composure. It is enough for him to stare at me with those beautiful green eyes for my mouth to respond without having the approval of my brain.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEr2wepRv65
— I’m dreaming where your cheeks are all red, he mocks, pointing to my face with his index finger.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmf08K33kdY
I give him a little tap on the arm which makes him burst out laughing. I love hearing this sound. I have seen him so angry, sullen, lonely, that when he laughs I am happy.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡphznZYAbAM
— At times, you remind me of my brother. You have the same dubious humor every…230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡum2Yu77n9U
I leave my sentence hanging as my smile freezes when I see Amy passing near us. She gives me an icy look and completely ignores Jessy.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJdq04olunp
— Why is Amy looking at you like that ? Jessy asks me.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡux0VMHslCU
I turn to him, trying to ignore my former friend. I don't want her to realize how much her attitude hurts and disappoints me.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnNKBgYztwy
— I don't know. Since I'm no longer with Chad, she doesn't speak to me anymore. To think that she was my best friend... As children, we were all together often : Chad, Amy and me. And today, I feel like I've lost a part of my past.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTYGHNkZhvl
— People change and evolve differently over the years. She'll come back to you one of these days.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDitTuUVDZi
— You think ? I ask him, hoping he's telling the truth.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡitvPvwi0Ay
— I'm sure. Who could give up a friend like you ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeZcamUUcXa
— Yeah, a friend, I breathe with annoyance while scrutinizing him.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpCD3kp6AnP
I would really like him to see me as something other than his friend.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl5XIBC7AjJ
— And with Chad, where are you ? He questions casually.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbNuUvxAsTr
— Nowhere. We haven't spoken in several weeks. I turned the page on him. On the other hand, I continue by staring at him. There are three other boys who asked me on a date.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGY0qaOxDvI
Am I dreaming or has his expression suddenly changed ? He lowers his face, staring at the ground as if it holds all the answers in the universe.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyfGtkggOmS
— Did you agree to go out with them ? He whispers in a strangled voice.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxwbRpEX07V
— No, I refused. You're the only guy I want to spend time with at the moment.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0hpzHMnoaS
Suddenly, he lifts his face and smiles. I observe him carefully. Maybe he doesn't really see me as a friend after all. It’s enough to make me smile again.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNrQo75dWLE
— You and Chad broke up shortly after I arrived in town, but there was one thing that struck me from the few times I saw you together.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9oem8JMenz
— Ah good ? What ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW9aY1oLEnl
— The distance there was between you. I mean, you were never in each other's arms or making a move to touch each other.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQr34mMDv6
— Is that what you did with your exes ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgzeyWOyYaq
I scrutinize him to read his reaction which does not take long : 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCaT4cLSgRY
— No, but I have never been in love.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrlAgIWQi10
— Maybe Chad didn’t like me that much, I shrug. Or that I'm not the type of girl that guys like to hug.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHNhXonkxpa
— Oh yes, any man would be happy to be able to hold you against him, he says without a shadow of hesitation.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJTh1Qpk3x
So why don't you do it ? ! I want to ask him.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUD9guZukHl
But suspecting that this would turn him on, I just stare at him and remain silent. However, I am happy with his admission, so I continue with a smile : 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTv0VrUNzXF
— So for Halloween, what are we dressing up as ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMFThY150w8
230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ52QeLU1NyN
230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡENdyoiTU8R
On Friday evening, I found my parents in the living room while waiting for Jessy to arrive. I enter the room and turn around asking them : 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNexEoEAgKm
— Is my dress okay ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYD1DUWJhXg
— You are very chic, admire my father.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZnkbaMevQO
For the occasion, I opted for a black Charleston— style dress, and my hairstyle is adorned with a white feather. It's not my favorite outfit, but Jessy only agreed to wear a very classy suit jacket.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5kVwZzmAEX
— Megan, why do you have a mask in your hand ? Nina asks.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0K4LNhq5Lt
— I'll put it on when I get to school. I promised Jessy that, under cover of anonymity, he could annoy the students who criticize him.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfdor2nnTV1
My mother laughs.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4gtO4kb7Vg
— That’s definitely your idea ! 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx6s7mpmteE
— It was one of the arguments to decide him to leave his house.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG3EYbOnk8K
— You two spend a lot of time together, my father comments seriously.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUcKFaI8yyC
— Yes, he’s great ! 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjvYR9c2ldl
— You know we love Jessy, but we're worried about you.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSLMwjYud6V
— We are just friends.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQOO0I8aTmB
— I'm not talking about that. Losing someone close to you is difficult.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEFrmkKtbU5
— I know. I know that one day he may no longer be here, but if that were to happen, I would have time to prepare for it. And he's my best friend, I can't stop seeing him, that wouldn't be fair to him or me.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU26bC66iSe
— Are you sure it’s just friendship ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQi2mfRovA
My father examines my face which immediately turns purple.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRFDoBplQxB
— I preferred Chad, my sister objects, sulking.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAG0PIhzqvg
Without meaning to, Nina makes me smile again and distracts my father's attention. Admitting to myself that I'm in love with Jessy is one thing, dropping this bombshell in front of my father is another. I already know the moral lesson that would await me.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBVEiUT4JAe
— And I find this school rule stupid which stipulates that you have to be fifteen years old to be able to attend this evening. I would have liked to go there ! She says, crossing her arms over her chest.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoI6Z54Y6dI
— Then you should have asked Chad to invite you ! I said, provoking her.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXlwx8WTqKT
In response, she taps her foot on the ground while the doorbell rings.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeflKhrCiCv
— I go ! 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWaYKdFVEso
I rush to open the door to Jessy. And I literally stand there glued to the spot when I see him in his black suit with a white shirt, black tie and hat. In his hand he holds a white mask similar to mine. He exudes a particular charm that disturbs me even more than usual, which is saying something.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPLTnzYUNUJ
After a few seconds of examining each other, he leans towards me to hang a white rose on the strap of my dress.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpaLv2ywY6V
— How pretty you are, he whispered to me.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ARMA0vMYV
His hands brush the skin of my shoulder and I feel myself melting. I take a deep breath to force myself to pull myself together.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9mrXcDyLsO
— Isn't that okay ? He asks me, visibly worried.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrTBvM0c4fJ
I can't tell him the truth. He was very clear with me when I let myself kiss him. And even though he hasn't spoken to me about it again, I still feel a burning shame. Since then I have restrained my actions and am content to be the friend he needs so much.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXRhhY1erMr
— Yes, it's going very well. It’s just that it’s hot in the house and cold outside, the contrast struck me. Come on, just a minute, I'll get my coat.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFtpahCLCVR
He nods and follows me to the living room where he politely greets my family as usual.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfGPeTgZBiE
— Wow, Jessy ! This costume suits you really well ! Launches my mother.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp39PtZgDds
— Thank you, Mrs. Crawfords. Nina, I thought of you, I brought you a little thing to console you for not being able to come to the party.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqn99bysLsr
He takes a rose similar to mine out of his pocket and hands it to my sister, who is speechless for a few seconds.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbuCCoNUh4K
— Thank you, Jessy, she finally said. Then looking at us, she adds : I take back everything I said earlier, it’s Jessy, my favorite ! 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvM2j2bHTWT
We burst out laughing.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrNHJtgmHFq
— Well done, Jessy, you managed to dethrone Chad ! My father is joking.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4lsJ2iuLUX
— It wasn’t won though, smiled the young man. — Here we go ? I ask him.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡec8PfWyT7k
Jessy makes a hesitant face and answers me without much enthusiasm : 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQUdOzsS2tG
— I would have done without it, but since I have to… let’s go ! 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4GIp8vKLq
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Two hours later, I see that Jessy is having a good evening. We took the route of anxiety : a walk in the middle of the corridors of the high school which, for the occasion, were decorated as a house of horror with skeletons suddenly appearing in front of us, vampires thirsty for blood who throw themselves on those who dare to approach them or even werewolves who run after us in the feigned hope of devouring us. There are many activities, but Jessy doesn't forget his little revenge either. When we pass a tall dark guy dressed as Dracula, whom my companion immediately recognizes as one of his persecutors, he puts on his mask, approaches slowly and manages to drop off without anyone, except me, noticing. has a large rubber tarantula on his shoulder. A moment later, we hear a scream echo through the classroom as the guy in question squirms in every direction to escape the spider. Jessy and I walk out of the room laughing until we cry.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw7KGH1Xw6w
— I admit, he said to me shortly after in one of the corridors, when we caught our breath, that just for that, it was worth coming ! 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9RxZOvHfqi
— See, I told you we’d have fun ! 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoK2w7284rc
— You were right, thank you for forcing my hand. (He takes off his mask before staring at me.) Of all the people I know, you are always there for me, no matter what. For what ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4PJW12zIYB
He is suddenly serious.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCRsHVeN9C
Can't you see that I'm in love with you, idiot ! 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡubD20dYCIQ
I want to tell him, but I hold back.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmTeTIlYEVp
Instead, I answer him : 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ57lYmP478l
— Why not ? You're my friend, right ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkSY99CvlEQ
He nods, and his green eyes shine with a strange light.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYW5HTtbdj6
— Oh, Jessy, come ! 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLuJLHCksrt
Without waiting for a response, I grab him by the sleeve of his suit and force him to follow me into one of the classes that says : Come discover your future through cards.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHGqfMKDyrN
For the occasion, the room, deliberately darkened, was divided into three parts by curtains, thus constituting cabins where clairvoyants sit. We approach one of them.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNsUBNMoMRZ
— Can we ? I said, pointing to the seats in front of her.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4JXMd5skE
— Of course, my children, come. Sit down.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqKMyiTPtr
She is a small woman with brown hair, with a fairly fleshy build, who inspires confidence at first glance.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYTWId3Bx1q
— Who wants to start ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiT4RdPh8ba
Jessy and I exchange a look.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoojkCQgEuf
"Iron, Meg."230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1SpOvPrMyi
— OK, draw seven cards from the fan in front of you.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFoXBmBedr2
She turns the cards over one after the other, arranging them in a sort of large cross.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSfokhWLQq4
— You are a nice girl, a little too serious at times, she said to me. You are always there for the people you love. This card, which designates the Empress, tells me that you are good at studies. I can assure you that you will go to university and study for a long time. A great job awaits you at the end.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkGL5k4666b
I'm happy, studies are very important to me.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1LKqmxug2v
— This card, she continues, showing me the Lover, — tells me that you are hesitating between two boys. One has the key to your heart and the other relationship is more controlled by your reason, the first boy completely capsizes you, the second rather symbolizes security.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyrZh8kcwKn
I feel myself blushing from head to toe and, silently, I thank the heavens that the room is just lit by candles. Jessy and Chad ! Only I'm not in love with Chad and I'm banking on love... I feel Jessy's gaze weighing on me, but I don't dare respond.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn5NJtKZkw1
— I can't tell you more, it will be up to you to choose between these two men, she places her hand on mine.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVYXYEEOSxR
— Thanks.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcq9zgFAnd0
— Your turn, young man, announces the woman, shuffling her cards before spreading them again on the table.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVMrx8DTMHj
As I did, Jessy takes out seven cards from the deck and turns them over as she goes.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqW2zQPxaor
— You are a kind boy, very sensitive, who has suffered a lot, but you do everything to keep it from showing. You play tough to hide your heart of gold. You are gifted in studies, but this card, it points to the Moon, leads me to believe that you are especially gifted in the arts. The drawing ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡafVvckxaZh
— I painted a lot, but I stopped for a while.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSaxQKHWcl5
— You should start again. You are an anxious boy, and this would calm you down.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdk0eyUEjXj
She turns over another card : the Hermit.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYOTnKcVaLc
— This one tells me that you tend to run away from others. You like to be alone and, at the same time, you experience this solitude as if you were afraid of the world around you. Yet you are not alone... There is someone in your life that you love, but, for I don't know what reasons, you seem to be running away from this love that life offers you.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxdpkIWVAOg
I see Jessy growing nervous next to me as he stares intently at the cards.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWS7eavO98b
The clairvoyant turns over the penultimate card : the Nameless Arcana. Despite myself, I flinch.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68pqfQ5ij7
— Don't worry, the lady is reassuring, this card is scary with the skeleton reaping it represents, but it rarely means physical death. Above all, it is a sign of change in life. Your existence will be turned upside down, you will succeed in overcoming your fears to fully live your destiny.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmejLI32jjB
She turns over the last card : the World.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAKW99NShcQ
— In the coming months, you are going to be very happy young man, much more than you imagine, but for that, you must open your heart to accept the gift that is being given to you, said the clairvoyant, looking Jessie.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEd21pTmRu8
— Thank you, Madam, he stammers, visibly embarrassed.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmH2PvBlM9u
— One last thing : Concerning your health, just live day to day without worrying too much. Destiny is destiny, you cannot change what will happen.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhtqSfWjfv
Jessy nods, looking serious, even though my heart is pounding. Has she just confirmed his imminent death ? His words are enigmatic to me but not to230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCX5hO1bbNt
Jessy who gets up quickly and leaves the room, I follow suit.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA081kMfSwj
— Jessy, are you okay ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIMfG82S7ir
— Yes, very good.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB3cpw2qXnF
— I'm sorry. It was a stupid idea to go see a psychic.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwWrI3uW6lS
He stops and turns to me.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAttYRjo26b
— Don't worry, she told us an ending that you and I already know.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC4osdzfpby
— It wasn't that clear to me.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKCpBOYdQe8
— Yes, but you are always overly optimistic while I…230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM2xX3A5LNO
— You are disarmingly pessimistic.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKajOKgjXAE
My reply makes Jessy laugh.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXPp15ImbeR
— It's true. Between the two of us, we have the perfect balance.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNoFnth7t5P
I smile in turn, thinking about how we complement each other perfectly.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsYPJC4Q5AP
— Seriously, are you sure you’re okay ? If you want, can we go back ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAQzB0o4oGr
— No, we're having fun. Come on, come on ! 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9dj9o4Y7uT
He gives me a reassuring wink. For the first time, he takes my hand, which suddenly makes me feverish, and guides me towards the gymnasium which has been transformed into a ballroom. Black and orange garlands cascade from the ceiling, paper pumpkins have been installed on the tables where soft drinks are served. In the four corners of the room, plastic skeletons held by wires move like puppets. In the center of the room, students wiggle to the rhythm of a wild Rolling Stones song.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdEFMj6lWcH
— You are thirsty ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMHNWcgm8ui
I nod with a nod. Jessy leaves me to go get two cups. I look around the room. In a corner, I see Chad dressed as a vampire, and his friends. Apparently they are the ones responsible for leading the anxiety journey. Then a tall blonde girl comes and kisses him full on the mouth. Despite her Marilyn Monroe disguise, I recognized Amy immediately. That's why she's been running away from me since we broke up, she did everything to seduce him and it worked. Chad quickly forgot me and her, that traitor ! Jessy returns with the cups. I drink mine dry.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0qpRNfR1mT
— What do you have ? He asked in front of my furious face.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCP0wPj4Int
I nod and show him Chad and Amy.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJn7pKaObU
— Oops, is the only sound that comes out of his mouth.
Jessy looks over to the corner where Chad and Amy are watching us, seeming to be watching for my reaction.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ23pzPvnjk9
— Come Dance.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqzNlL4X1Bv
He takes my hand again, which has the effect of calming me down immediately.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrs3PisqpAO
— I thought you didn't dance ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkY93rqIVKE
— I never said that.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvqkJEJdYwW
His smile completely melts me. I let myself be guided to the dance floor. The music starts with a soft song. Like every time I'm in contact with Jessy, my heart starts racing. Without thinking, I put my arms around his neck, while he places his hands on my waist. Soon my head is resting on his shoulder. I breathe in its sweet and intoxicating scent, a mixture of flower soaps and aftershave. I feel wonderful, everything is so natural with him. But he stops abruptly. His gaze is focused on a girl, small in stature, with bobbed red hair, who turns her back to us and is chatting with friends a few steps from us.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsRnl1mH33O
Jessy doesn't take his eyes off her as I feel his shoulders tense.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqWQwXZ6Bk1
— What is…230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG4zkQkgpAJ
The girl turns around, revealing her face to us. Jessy takes a deep breath before turning his attention back to me.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg1xmCgSi0Z
— I need to get some fresh air, he tells me, white as a sheet.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHcgFR1sbyu
We push through the crowd to the parking lot where he takes a deep breath. A cold wind rose, carrying with it the dead leaves from the trees to our feet.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7MyVPHkZez
We lean against a car.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjdzmLh5OJt
— Why are you shaking ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2yW60ZVRGr
I question him timidly.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIs9yopEPGn
— I don't really want to talk about it.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5oIYrC3CIx
— But you are livid ! 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTZPmU5dIs2
— I don't want to talk about it. Let's forget that, okay ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl9MUIaEY0p
— Agree as you like.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr8HNYYcCtL
He raises a questioning eyebrow at my resolve. It's not like me to give up so quickly. Usually, I insist that he talks to me, but now, I'm afraid to know the truth.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0QplJ1Ol26
— Shall we go back ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZbCa7YE6rF
— Yeah, I think it's better after all that.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOUOLmyIEz2
We set off. The high school is only a few blocks from our homes.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpLgKpGAk7f
— All that ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtlTvCspqBX
— Between the clairvoyant, Chad and Amy…230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqzz4rrfv5z
— And your latest conquest, I tell him, not being able to contain the feeling of jealousy that has invaded me since he saw this girl.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZyMfOP7RV
Jessy turns to me.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ932lo9xkSy
— It's not what you think. I thought it was Haley... The girl who gave me AIDS.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgYZn2YeCeD
— Every time you talked to me about the virus, you told me you were handling it all. But after seeing your reaction tonight, I think you're handling things the wrong way. You didn't solve the problem with her. I think you should see her again, or at least talk to her.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ614rPSNSX9
— I don't see how that would help me. You know, it was just an adventure, but one that I will regret for the rest of my life... — Think about it.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL7cCKJRvRF
He nods silently.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ7nAXYcCzA
I don't add anything. It's his story, and only he knows whether he wants to look straight ahead after settling his scores, or stay immersed in a past that gnaws at him.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMX3P0WEpgo
230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡENe4td9j7k
230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Md6oRbSk3
The next day is Sunday; dressed in my coat, a scarf and my gloves, I leave my house, determined to face the morning cold which has suddenly fallen on the region.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1HzexTmSR3
A black car stops next to me.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtyVLvms7yH
— Hey, a familiar voice calls out to me.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4UNWurGP8c
— Hi. Jessy, do you have a car ? ! 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcWhMlZHhL4
— Eh yes ! I've been talking to my mom about it for a while, and this morning she came back with it. She was so happy to see me out of the house ! You come ? I'll take you.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5UbAYo77Q
He starts and, quickly, I see that he is heading towards the highway ramp.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYegWawxl4s
— Where are we going ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdPGHgi9Rhp
— It's coming ! 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7afkcJAlKS
— At the cinema ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxTG3gqNkO
— Non. 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVREexwHkDq
— Take a walk in the forest ? No, that's not the road. So, maybe visit a museum ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzk2bFwHQMz
— No. You'll see, it's a surprise, and he gives me a big, innocent smile.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDzSkzA6FJf
— OK, anyway, wherever it is, I'm up for it.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4UyGWySrr
— Your parents won't be worried ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ17weJ0nRk5
— I told them I was going to see you. They suspect that I'm going to spend the day with you.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHB4ij9eXvN
— And that's going to be the case, because we're not going very close. I don't think we'll be back until tonight.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe2xToSkmiw
Still want to come ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ65UN0BW2Ji
He gets onto the highway.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdT5hcIWuDI
— Totally ! 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3LliibcFun
— I want to show you Allentown. Today, we are going to walk in the footsteps of my past...230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0y0lrPCDY2
230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaJTRR3qIka
230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbS0Gbgkac
After driving for almost three hours, Jessy parks in a small suburban street that seems very nice. All the houses are undoubtedly owned by wealthy people.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOlGq8WYbHN
— We have arrived, he declares, getting out of the car.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfCFjrmAK60
I'm happy that he trusts me enough to show me the places that mattered to him. I get out and look at the house we are parked in front of. It is a single storey white villa with a well kept lawn. Large bay windows let the sun shine through, and a solid oak door welcomes visitors via a small path which splits the lawn into two parts.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYgzqjUN6Dj
— Is this where you lived ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuOilpABQO4
Jessy has an enigmatic smile.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0y69UoyrmN
— No, it’s not my place. We're at Haley's.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8OSixQPn7
He gestures with his chin towards the beautiful house. I suddenly have a pit in my stomach.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9pqE8cHOau
— What ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwybboTGWsS
— I found her, it was very easy, actually. She told me her name and what neighborhood she lived in, a call to telephone information was enough.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4BLDiWAID
He leans back in his car, staring at the house like he can see through the walls. Little by little, his enthusiasm seems to diminish. His face turns pale...230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyRqA05pja3
Suddenly, Jessy comes around the car and announces to me : 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzAeZrGh1Ue
— Come on, let’s go.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcLDO3BKhcI
I remain stunned.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTzoi17RZRC
— Oh no, we didn’t come all this way to leave now. You need to go talk to him ! 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNWRmlIVrEe
He stares at me, his face frozen.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgtGEQ5UKDQ
— I am scared.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVlyBXlcVw5
— I know, but if you don't go, you'll be left with everything that's on your heart for a long time to come. You need to move forward Jessy, you can't stay stuck with all these emotions.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpj48qEXlry
He nods and, taking a deep breath, heads towards the house. I see him approaching the door, taking the small gravel path. I'm afraid for him. It rings and only waits a few seconds before the door opens. Jessy enters. I'm not really thrilled that he's seeing one of his ex girlfriends again. What if he fell back into her arms ? This scares me as much as imagining him screaming horrors at him.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjMa6xpDNlg
After all, she is HIV positive, he could perfectly well have a real relationship with her. Not just a friendship like with me. Now I'm almost wishing I was sick, my God, I'm really going crazy ! 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZYnxZ3bYQB
During his absence, I also wonder about his behavior. Just the day before, when we talked about the clairvoyant's words, he repeated to me that he had nothing to offer a woman who, in any case, would quickly tire of only being able to kiss him. I managed to tell him that some relationships go beyond that. But he remained firm in his positions. Lost in my thoughts, I don't see him coming back. I jump when he opens the driver's side door and slides behind the wheel. I see right away that it's not going well. He is even paler than when he went to ring the bell, and his hands are clinging to the steering wheel as if his life depended on it. His whole body is shaking. I feel him at the end of his nerves even though he tries to control himself. I ask him half— heartedly : 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoZni96xZLw
— Did it go wrong ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4lXCiyqnud
— It was his mother who opened the door to me...230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw6tDWb9OFZ
His face expresses such hatred that I immediately think of the evening on the bridge when he was hanging above the void, screaming. I would bet that at this very moment, he would let himself fall under the wheels of vehicles rather than live another minute on this Earth. He struggles to speak, but I don't do anything to rush him.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzKdbfbj6Sz
— Haley died five months ago.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNmfESO7s9d
I immediately understand the dark thoughts going through his head at that precise moment.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb6UUEmLzjy
— Is that all his mother told you ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxeAihrDvfp
— Oh no, he gets angry. She told me she is sorry that her child infected me ! She also gave me a letter that Haley wrote to me before she died. We're getting out of here ! 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqy2NLtlHQR
He starts off with a bang and rushes through the streets which, apparently, hold no secrets for him.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5wu5mT745r
— Jessy, please slow down a little, you’re scaring me.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn9mSZOvabr
He doesn't respond, but I notice that he raises his foot. He drives like this for several minutes, in silence. We enter downtown Allentown. He takes the main artery then branches off several times before stopping abruptly in a small street. On either side, tall buildings block out most of the daylight. Along the buildings with their gray walls, rusty iron fire escapes make the place even more sinister.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUOX6HeyyDB
Jessy gets out of the car and slams the door. I'm. I am so afraid that he will try to end his life. He walks to the center of the street, where metal garbage containers are piled up, and hits them with all his might several times.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS3LXwCWBzK
— Jessy, please calm down, I’m begging you.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVg9arhS7jT
— For what ? Can you tell me what all this is for ? What's the point of living ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4MCtxEWp5Q
— Stopped. (I place myself between him and the trash can on which he pours all his anger.) You are alive ! You hear me ? Are you still alive ! And by the time the disease breaks out, perhaps doctors will have found a treatment. But the force you put into hitting this container, you have to put into fighting yourself.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1F3tKXiIbh
— But why ? What is keeping me on this planet ? Don't you understand that I'm going to end up like Haley ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzKyQw4K6i4
He pushes me away with one arm before knocking again.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡarDK66csag
Soon his fist is bloody.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhjEUseTnva
— But why are you hitting this trash can ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4oV9raDMK1
— Because I'm angry, and even then, angry is an understatement for what I feel.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTlxP2hoRzM
— For what ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3LhN9JLyIQ
He, usually so secretive, finally decides to confide in me while now kicking the poor trash can.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfnJuEnN0Sh
— This is the place where my life changed, he said to me, out of breath.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHb5ybabmxU
He stops knocking and points to a spot near the right wall, a little further away.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡArZ98R21cU
— Do you see there ? This is the place where my father, my real father, died. He was killed by a local gang who wanted to steal his money, they dragged him here before shooting him. When I was little, I was terrified of losing my parents. I don’t know where this anxiety came from, it was unreasonable, it woke me up at night. My father reassured me, constantly telling me that he would always be there to protect me, and when I was five, suddenly, he was no longer there. He let me down. He didn't protect me ! Things would have been very different if he were still here. And now Haley is gone ! And it pisses me off because, even if it’s wrong, I would have liked to scream at him with all the rage I have in my heart ! And all I have instead is this damn letter ! 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6MwzCuLcuH
He takes the missive out of his coat pocket and shakes it in the air, as if he wants to get rid of it but is unable to.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPLaAMVpx5f
— I understand that well ! But when you calm down, you will want to know what she had to say to you. Your father didn't get to say goodbye to you, Haley did it through these words in this envelope.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeuoxGGTzpF
My voice is choked with sadness. Jessy looks at me, searching in my eyes for the reason for my sudden emotion.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2tztonkcd5
— You’re right, he whispers, looking at the letter still in his hand. I must not condemn her, she was not the only one responsible for what happened that evening, he said more calmly.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6hm20YH3Ir
— It's true. She didn't know she was sick at the time. But on the other hand, I can't help but feel relieved that you didn't see her again. I know, it’s awful to think that ! 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡltEBdwkjOc
I turn away, I don't dare look at him anymore. I just told him about the fear that filled me the first time he mentioned Haley. Even though she infected him, he had a history with her, he was closer to her than he will ever be to me, and it breaks my heart to admit that.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZbGFbgeB5G
Jessy stands in front of me and examines my face.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfRSGpW2urc
— Why do you feel relieved ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuPaftsD7pR
There is no longer any trace of anger in his voice, just curiosity.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡElVYHngl22
— For nothing, forget it.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbTklDar3Kg
— Yes, tell me, he breathes softly. I hesitate, watching his piercing gaze.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZRYfUlD8SL
— Because I was afraid you would get back together with her.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgxRQj1ikS0
He looks at me, incredulous.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTWghtzP1Ot
— I know..., I continue but I quickly interrupt myself, no longer knowing how to continue without admitting my feelings.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtUQA65Vthz
Jessy stares at me for a moment that seems to last forever.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEMWHM5RNPF
— When you were with Chad, I said to myself : "Nothing will ever happen between us while he can do anything for her. "230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡciOiS6assX
I remain in shock, did he just tell me that he is dying to be with me or was I dreaming ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpEZXeqTHw5
— I'm not going back with Chad.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT31QIDKKW0
— It's true ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Xc9bH70cF
I nod, grabbing the lapel of his coat.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfBR4qUd1ud
— Chad has never been an obstacle between us. He's not the one I want to be with.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsNd6CVeIkb
He wipes his forehead where beads of sweat appear and looks at his damaged hand.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc6QsBmKfIR
— Actually, I mainly thought that it would scare you to be with me.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2cTOGaoBzP
— Maybe you should have asked me ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyscUfWAnwH
I fiddle with a button on his coat.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKCu4KAWiSK
— It's true.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFP7oSzwDZe
He purses his lips and says : 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk1RAQM5Wne
— Do you want to go out with me ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxxxNbjXtoJ
Finally you decide ! I smile. Of course I want to be with you, that’s all I’ve thought about since we met.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBVJc2lRAwY
Jessy gives me a big smile.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL3oZk9SV2J
— I don't know how long I'll stay alive.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgQJVCxfJab
— We'll see. We're going to make every day count.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF0XzurjGHN
— And with Chad, is it definitely over ? Are you sure ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzED20ZrHTS
— Jessy, Chad and I broke up because you came into my life and offered another horizon to my future. When I met you, I realized I never really loved him. He's just a friend. That’s the real reason… At least for me.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZbpiIozgBS
I hand him some tissues which he wraps around his scratched hand, which has already stopped bleeding. Then he puts his arm around my shoulders, kisses my forehead and leads me towards the car, putting the letter in his coat pocket.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUr6AC5UrsO
— I suspected that I was somewhat responsible for this story, he said, winking at me.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq6L1mpHO2Z
Suddenly, he hands me the car keys.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9jabyxAMEP
— I don't feel like driving after all this, would you like it ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNPxXgdnEB6
Too happy to be able to get behind the wheel, I eagerly grab the keys.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFuV5S1EaZP
230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2OVqWi0tGg
230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwjbKBC1bQ
We enter Millisky, the town is deserted at this hour, only the street lights give a semblance of life to the streets. I glance at Jessy, lost in thought. Suddenly, instead of heading towards his house, I change direction and head towards the hill. I can't let him go home like this. Having reached the top, I stop the car. Jessy snaps out of his thoughts and looks around, surprised. He doesn't know this corner of the city where I myself rarely go.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkAeME1BD2n
— Where are we ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEQ2hVjNh9e
— Come with me.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ93vDEa3kgb
We are on a small dirt road bordered by a security fence. Tall grass protrudes from the slope overlooking the town. Jessy joins me in front of the car, I take his hand and lead him past one of the sumptuous mansions, which offers a perfect view of the sleeping city.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZ0nKogDtA
— I know you’re not in good spirits and I understand perfectly why, I assure him. I also know that you're waiting until you're alone to read Haley's letter. But I'm not going to let you do it, I don't want you to be upset, alone, in your corner while I'm worrying about you. Please, Jessy, do this for me. I'm not asking you to read it, I just want you to read it in my presence because whatever you think about it, you're going to need support afterwards and I want to be the one to hug you to make sure that everything will be alright.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUZ3bwurg7H
With tears in his eyes, he nods.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7O3TzpXOen
I move a few steps away to give him his privacy. He takes out the envelope, hesitates for a few seconds then opens it. From the first words he reads, I perceive the change in his expression, he seems to be decomposing. Quickly, I see tears rolling down his cheeks while I hold myself back from going to join him because I feel so bad for him. A few seconds later, he stops reading, leans over to lean on the safety barrier as a loud sob escapes him. I can no longer resist and will hug him. My arms are around his neck, my face on his shoulder.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf7pClbC0d9
I'm here, Jessy, I'm here, I whisper in his ear.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKybrNgu3oL
He stands up, turns around and hugs me as if I were the only thing holding him back on earth.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWY0bqWcEVe
— Here, he said, handing me the letter.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcuueBVltNI
— No, it’s meant for you.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsI4QUBCrZH
— I don't want to hide anything from you about Haley, not after what you admitted to me earlier.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLvUjOouoIT
Although it bothers me, I grab the paper.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpjDpciyaZX
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Jessy, 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyKt0EW1U7Q
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If you are reading this it is because I will no longer be here to speak to you in person. It’s also that you are looking for answers to your questions, explanations. I will try to answer it.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKcydKTfRuu
First of all, I wanted to tell you that I am deeply sorry for having infected you. If I had known that I was carrying this virus, I would never have hit on you that evening. As I told you during that famous evening, I wasn't looking for anything serious, yet when I saw you, I liked you straight away. If I left so quickly once we slept together, it was because I could have had feelings for you and coming out of a difficult relationship, I didn't want that.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb5NUvEOmAV
If you are wondering how I became HIV positive, it was precisely this ex that I had such a hard time forgetting who infected me after cheating on me. He didn't know he was sick either.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdFxNNntttf
As I write these words to you, I am in the hospital. I don't think I'll get through it. I'm not telling you this to inspire pity, but to tell you that I pray that you never experience the same thing. I sincerely hope that medicine finds a cure before the virus manifests itself. In no case did I want to condemn you to live in this hell, neither you nor the two other boys whom I also infected.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWS9LXsb4mV
I'm going to leave consumed with guilt. I pray that God forgives me, that you will be able to forgive me one day.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn9zDt8h5yn
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Haley 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq5Utfs1ik1
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These words upset me because they seem so sincere to me. I turn to Jessy who has wiped his eyes but still seems disturbed.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGAo3T0Hf95
— How are you feeling ? I ask him.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡraBEuIcywu
— Sad and relieved at the same time. In fact, I feel like life will never give me any gifts and that every one of my hopes will be disappointed.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzpfUMHPMFv
— You are wrong, Jessy. You see that ? I point to Millisky lit up in front of us. This is your life today. It is no longer a dark alley in Allentown, nor even a state of the art residence in which many misfortunes hide. No, your life is here now. As for your future, I don't know what it will be like, just as I don't know my future, but there is one thing I am certain of : I will be with you.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVAlljPj9Cj
He leans towards me, I kiss him full on the mouth. This time he kisses me back forcefully. His body presses against mine, making me shiver. From my lips, he lets his mouth slide slowly down to my neck. I savor this kiss, this desire that pushes me to want him ever closer to me. Then he takes my mouth again with a mixture of tenderness and eagerness. With the tip of his tongue, he parts my lips, his tongue caresses mine while he sucks in my breath. No boy, no even Chad has never kissed me like that. I feel faint in his arms, my legs have difficulty supporting me. He moves slightly away from me, staring at me. I can read in his eyes that I won this first battle, he regained faith in life, in my love for him. For the first time since I've known him, he's happy.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCnT0SMe1d
Behind us, in the house, the group Divinyls can be heard with their songI’m on your side. 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEm0SC4BkXq
— Miss Crawfords, will you give me this dance ? 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf4lLaoyZ9p
He holds out his hand to me. 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtjS2bkhMHT
— With pleasure.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf7rnskZH4D
« I’m on your side 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmXncu7yGeN
You know I’m not the enemy. » 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhyqbsSgSH
It's not hot tonight, but sheltered in Jessy's arms, I'm not cold.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNSDuBBauQ
« I love you, babe » rises in the silence of the night.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdOTmBsy8QY
Jessy moves back a few inches and looks at me with a mischievous smile.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfMdzefvaln
— So in the end, who won ? The heart or the reason ? He asks me, quoting the words of the clairvoyant.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmxReBZ2UpR
– You are the heart, you always have been, I answer him forcefully.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBbe5Ly9FbZ
« I’ll hold on to you. » 230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM9ox4YTN1B
This is how, snuggled in each other’s arms, the music rocks us.230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaa08pVK7sz
« I love you babe, I love you babe, I’m on your side. »230Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwUSEYldbTO
