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I am quietly installed in my office. This is my own place, in this family home. Far from the adventures of my children, I appreciate being able to breathe calmly from time to time. There, I decompress and take the time to think, to drown myself in my thoughts, in my memories.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj4dbtk8m4K
Suddenly there is a knock at the door. I quickly slip the photo I had been looking at for several minutes into the pocket of my blouse, and pretend to be concentrating on a file. I barely have time to say, “Come in” when the door opens to reveal my daughter. At seventeen and a half years old, she has behaved like a real tornado since the start of her adolescence, four years earlier. However, in her face framed by long brown hair, childhood can still be seen.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbpmKUYQufk
— Mom, I need to talk to you about something super important ! 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnHOQ6sTas6
I suppress a smile. With Orlane, everything is always mega important ! 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNPnXFbgywr
— Ok I hear you.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1mJ2RrMVbO
— With Alexandra, we would like to get a tattoo ! She says, excited, as if it’s the best news of the year.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJcDkzRGeb
— A tattoo ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR8GKePxA4j
She nods energetically.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv8UHo585iv
— While you are still a minor ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHjUTFtWIIm
— Soon to be an adult.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIKhkeIDIE9
— Yes, so seventeen years and counting.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq6d9CcixyK
— If you say so. So, is it yes ? I need parental consent to do this.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvhlyUlgJPa
— No way ! 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7rnKI7KZYI
As I expected, my daughter's face turns an angry red, while her light eyes darken.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLCiCERXT56
— You never let me do anything cool ! She shouts, slamming the door behind her.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIG6OimKhDi
Another of these great classics is to avoid any discussion by taking long strides. I hear him scream.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDzF6Q4U3cd
— She always forbids me from everything ! She’s never there for us ! 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsIo30amRO2
— You exaggerate ! Mom is always there whenever we need her, tries to calm my son down in a paternalistic tone.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaM32hohCaf
Calm, thoughtful and very mature in nature for a young man of sixteen, my son has a character that is the polar opposite of that of his sister.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSAyPNE2CQw
— She’s not a cool mother ! 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoA2o8RovZF
I decide to join them in the kitchen.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFRHxad5qJ3
— If being fashionable means letting you drink alcohol, do drugs, let you date anyone, or allow you to get tattoos, then no, I'm not cool...379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡanXx2PN4cd
— But why don’t you want to ? After all, it’s just a little drawing on the skin, adds my daughter with a pout.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4NjpIypJpa
My God, how tenacious she is… Like me ultimately.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡym7XEfk5MC
— Orlane, the day you want to get a tattoo for a good reason, I will accept, but not to be like your friends.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Yyp6VGYe1
My son looks at us, imperturbable.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh8EkTgLRr3
— You definitely have a tattoo ! She accuses me, angrily.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWkxanbqqX0
I look down, weighing the pros and cons, and end up telling them : 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY9nxRv9NTp
— Follow me to the living room, both of you. I need to talk to you.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSoOKvI28m2
Without a word, they accompany me, and each sit in one of the large armchairs, facing mine.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEoqtSrJz7O
— You are both old enough now for me to tell you a story. And please don't interrupt me. The story I am about to tell you is personal to me, but it is important that you know it, because it has made us who we are.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Xl1tIrX36
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It all started on September 26, 1991 : 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2CviseWmxa
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Autumn has not yet arrived although the leaves of the trees are starting to turn red under the less intense rays of the sun.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFR3xIavxBH
I detail my reflection while doing my hair in front of the mirror. I don't think I'm pretty, although many people tell me otherwise. I'm not very tall, I don't have the figure of a top model, in fact, I find myself rather ordinary. Not to mention this damn hair that refuses to stay styled the way I want it ! Giving up trying to tame them, I abandon my hairbrush and go down the stairs of the house. I'm so happy to be in high school where I'm now one of the big guys. Sixteen is the age where my real life begins, the age where my parents finally treat me like an adult and no longer like an immature child. The age when all dreams are achievable and desires possible.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8bV9PSdhWC
My mind escapes for a moment to fly towards Chad, my boyfriend of several months. Chad is young, handsome, athletic and intelligent when he manages to stay focused long enough on his homework instead of thinking about sports, which is hard for him. He's not very tall, but built like a sportsman : all muscles. I like his black hair in a crew cut, and his hazel eyes. We have known each other since childhood. I had been secretly in love with him for years. In high school, I was known for being the type of serious girl, always top of the class, which did not attract boys, much to my despair. Chad is the most popular boy in school, so there was no chance he would be interested in me until a teacher asked me to help him with math. When he finally asked me to go out with him, I couldn't believe it anymore.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXs67NJV9y0
For six months, Chad and I have been in perfect love...379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRCfF6T490a
Okay, we only exchanged chaste kisses, we don't go out much, instead spending our time watching movies at his house. I also admit that contrary to what I had always imagined, I don't feel this passion that romance novels boast about, perhaps this is due to the fact that we have few things in common. When Chad kisses me, I have the horrible feeling of kissing my best friend but I’m sure that with time, our story will become more intense, passionate and that this feeling will disappear. After all, he’s the one I always wanted so everything will work out in the end.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLgX68Bw1Ot
Letting out a romantic sigh, I enter the kitchen. Almost my entire family is gathered there : Ashley and John, my parents as well as Nina, my younger sister. The only thing missing is Nicolas, my big brother who recently left for New York University and who only comes home for the holidays.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXBByJ9S8Uu
— My little Megan… The more I see you, the less you look like my baby, my mother laments, staring at me.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaY7GzExBn0
She isn’t very tall, she has a face with soft features that charms most people she meets. I get her brown hair and blue eyes from her. She always expresses herself calmly, but with conviction.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMq7pG4ftgj
I act as if his rantings don't matter to me.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGaGc6YFxrV
— Mom, I’ll always be your daughter. And then, you have Nina as a baby…379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ879z1Q23sh
My sister makes a face. At thirteen, she sees herself more as a teenager than as the youngest member of the family.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6oRAMmrzj
— Are you still planning to go to Chad’s party tonight ? How many will you be ? Asks my father before swallowing his coffee.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl0lt9H4X7m
— Yes I’m going. There will be about fifty of us.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFYYHp7MQrR
My father coughs and chokes.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCtppn7eiLp
— That much ? Ask my mother in turn.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB82uMYJA2s
I nod yes.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHG0tB8cWlz
— There will be the whole class as well as Chad's friends, that's a lot of people, he's very popular at school.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJTV42SJuPL
— That’s true, my father agrees with a touch of pride.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbP7dRFNpZU
Even though he tends to be overprotective, I love my father very much. I find him a handsome man for his age. At forty, his dark brown hair begins to take on gray shades at the temples and expression lines slowly creep into his angular face, further marking his smile and his frown.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsbTrBqPrHW
My father works in construction, his specialty is facade maintenance. He judges each house by the quality of its exterior paint ! My mother is a secretary in a real estate agency, which doesn't excite her, but she has fixed hours, which suits her perfectly. We are a middle class American family. We live in a residential neighborhood in the small town of Millisky, Pennsylvania, where almost everyone knows each other, if only by sight. The town has around five thousand souls. We have a hospital, shops, restaurants, cinemas, and even a large shopping center, so we never get bored. In addition, our town is surrounded by a beautiful forest which allows for long walks, we also have a lake about five kilometers to the south. To the west, a hill overlooks the city, it is the chic district where all the local bourgeois have built their beautiful homes, which most often only serve as second homes. To the north, a highway takes us to Pittsburgh, the nearest major city, a two hour drive, and to the east, Philadelphia is a three hour drive.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdZZ1f3xWUJ
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A little later that day, I'm in the main hallway of the school. It is a large white building, some classrooms have faded walls, originally cream-colored, and the same goes for places of frequent passage. The central corridor has on each side of its walls, two rows of gray lockers stacked on top of each other. I take some books from mine when, turning around, I see a boy of average height, with brown hair and light eyes, walk past me. He looks at me furtively. When I meet his gaze, I feel like I'm falling from a ten- story building. It's a strange thing I've never felt before and it only lasts a few seconds. Coming to my senses, I tell myself that I must be going crazy.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe9khtFgZ1e
— Not bad, admires Amy, my best friend, who followed my gaze.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6IwQ6tYdC0
— New student ? I'm asking perfunctorily as I'm sure I've never seen it before.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLFmdjmJkZy
— I’ll find out, says my friend, narrowing her eyes with interest.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV0Bvysb3Xm
— In any case, he’s very cute, I can’t help but point out.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGIQ5slrTbH
— You're the one who says that, even though you're dating the hottest boy in school ! She exclaims, shocked.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSWcMPtEfpG
I smile, remembering that Chad never wanted to go out with her. He preferred me. It's so rare for a boy to reject her that I know she harbors a little resentment towards me. She has never told me openly but sometimes, like this moment, she throws a little barb at me. Without being mean, it gets heavy some days. However, she has been my friend for so long that I don't see myself falling out with her over such a small matter.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwKoMgA9man
Later that day, in history class, I am fascinated by the documentary that the professor shows us concerning the liberation of Europe during the Second World War. This is not the first report I have seen on the subject but each time, I am caught up in the violence, the abomination of this conflict. When the images of the concentration camps appear on the screen, I look away. This is too hard for me, so I concentrate on a completely different theme. Since the start of the course, I have had the strange sensation of feeling observed. As I turn to scan the class, I see the new student sitting two rows behind me, his eyes fixed on me. When he realizes that I have noticed him, he returns his gaze to the screen. I imitate him but after a few seconds, I turn around again.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLyM0UYw4nY
Grid ! I thought, giving a hint of a smile as he refocused on the documentary. For long minutes, I no longer dared to move. It's stupid but this boy intimidates me.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMn9kahXrN0
When the film ends, I turn in my seat to follow the teacher as he walks around the class summarizing what we just saw. The newcomer is still staring at me. His look is indecipherable.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTt38rt2ObF
— Imagine these families separated during endless years of war, imagine their suffering. If you had been in their place, would you have chosen resignation in the face of the invader or would you have opted for resistance ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN9rWgvAB4S
I raise my hand, certain of my answer.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnrEg00NNnS
— Yes Megan.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjBKwP34mjP
— I would have chosen resistance. Faced with injustice, I think I would have been incapable of looking at the situation without taking part in the fight.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV9KZPPBxTQ
— Good. Someone else's opinion ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE6hSGfh9pZ
Many raise their hands including the new one.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAOS4ixlMpp
— And you, what do you think ? Asks the teacher, addressing him.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtCFNbfBFQb
— I believe that with hindsight, it is easy to give your opinion, but at that time, people who engaged in the resistance ran enormous risks, not only for themselves but also for those close to them. All this must be taken into consideration.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAsxKO92Vgo
— Perfect, Jessy ! 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7r0LifHfh2
Jessy… 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlrp31rRVk9
I have a hard time taking my eyes off him even though his name resonates within me.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNWZr5MmWv2
— For the next class, you will write me a presentation on this subject, continues the professor.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx7mbqodLTS
The bell announcing the end of classes rings, the new guy immediately picks up his things and leaves, bowing his head. It makes me feel like I'm running away from the whole world.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5CR97DfTpR
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I head to the bathroom to put some gloss on my lips and find my friends Amy and Pearl there.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlXgwNzKFXG
— So, Meg, where are you with Chad ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAN9QXOyCmb
My cheeks immediately turn red.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhdsPiDX3DX
— There is nothing to say.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfReBubMlNr
— Don’t tell us you haven’t done it yet, Amy insists.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGEc4BmSfO5
— Well no… Well, I mean, do you feel ready ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtERq8nmydz
Amy shrugs. I know she hasn't been a virgin for some time.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzII1Fdq8Ig
— There’s no reason, Pearl assures. You're with the boy you've always wanted, so why not go all the way ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVMcxf6WBuf
These words make me think more than they should. I've been dreaming about Chad for years, so why do I feel this stuck ? Why don't my feelings push me to open up completely ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxbjd3e5WPH
I feel lost and I know perfectly well that it's not my friends I could confide in. They would immediately judge me, thinking I'm crazy for asking myself a thousand questions when I'm dating a great guy.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtBOuHUKGAf
If only Nick were here, I thought with regret.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz2HgiT6QYZ
My brother would be able to advise me perfectly. It's crazy how much I miss him. Looking forward to the next vacation so he can come back to see us.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoUOmyaTe7k
— By the way, have you seen the new one ? Pearl continues, arranging her brown hair in front of the mirror. He is too beautiful ! 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4SCWVmQNLX
It’s true that he is beautiful ! A finely sculpted body without being skinny and a face with fine features that I find refined, piercing green eyes lined with long eyelashes, slightly messy light brown hair... I also memorized the little chain with at the end a cross that dangles from his left ear giving him a little rebellious side that I find sexy.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEc57D4git1
— I learned a few things about him...379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0qEPTeQTaM
This simple sentence from Amy focuses all my attention.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6jQKMQkldR
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A few hours later, at the end of classes, I found my father in the high school parking lot. This day is important to me. I pass my driving license. I am confident, because for several weeks, Chad has been teaching me everything there is to know and, according to him, I am ready.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3GmT6Y1l6
— Megan, we need to talk, my father begins.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoscHio1LWW
Already knowing that I am going to be treated to a moral lesson, I hold back a sigh.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG31PikvF5O
— It’s about that party at Chad’s. You know I trust you, but... knowing you with him until late...379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1onO9bm2eb
When I don't answer, he continues : 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw53KIKrL7U
— Will you be… serious this evening ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPos38xtIv
— Dad, I'm still a virgin and I don't plan on that changing tonight.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt7FmoIL3m1
— Thank God, he breathes with relief after grimacing.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJoYOjNLIE2
Shortly after, we return home, me with my license in my pocket and my father with the certainty that I am still innocent.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRxvHQylicR
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In the evening, I found Chad at his house. He lives in a large, modern and chic house, close to the city center. Their villa includes three bedrooms with an independent bathroom, a games room, an office, a fully equipped kitchen and a gigantic living room which, that evening, easily accommodated fifty guests. Outside, in a garden, in which my entire house could fit, is a heated swimming pool. As the girlfriend of the owner of the house, I make a grand entrance. I'm wearing a pretty black silk dress, perfectly fitted, which suits me perfectly. I turn heads as I pass, especially Chad who only has eyes for me. The party is in full swing, the whole class has gathered there.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvJxd3blWcl
I'm chatting with Amy in the corner of the room, when I spot the new student, Jessy, standing a little further away. He observes me while chatting with Stanley, a friend of my brother. He stares at me and gives me a small smile to which I can't help but respond.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlWYUQJGOaV
Why am I blushing ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOl3XJYPIWo
— This guy is so hot. I'm going to go and get to know each other, Amy said to me, scrutinizing Jessy.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDMXR906ciV
Without knowing why, my heart sinks.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqd5e8pc4tQ
— Amy…, my reaction is stupid. You look very pretty with this dress.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtjtDsCRTt6
She smiles. I see her approach Jessy, Stanley quickly walks away while Amy launches into a tirade, pointing out several people in the room. She must inform him of the gossip that is circulating. I can't help the pang of jealousy that creeps into me when I see her place a hand on Jessy's arm. At this moment, he looks up at me, his expression is indecipherable. I have to look elsewhere... But I can't do it.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNPvKjd8QJU
— Are you okay, Meg ? You're having fun ? Chad appears in front of me and places his hands on my hips.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMqnmxgNvwK
Finally I take my eyes off Amy and the new guy. I have to think about something other than his green eyes which make me feel like they are penetrating my soul.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZRxdLVHvcc
I place my lips on my boyfriend's in a brief kiss.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGOwEMpGqqD
— Where were you ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmQiciEcKtg
— I was walking around the house. Haven't you noticed that some people look like they've been drunk ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGASHvvpo4j
— Yes, I met Matt earlier, he reeked of alcohol.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlZHB3vaZzA
— Great, Chad breathes, annoyed. If my parents find out about this, I'm dead.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSw7cjFUA0k
I glance in Jessy and Amy’s direction. He has disappeared while she returns to us, blowing : 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXX3HeI7NVn
— This guy is weird ! 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOwH73vQQfQ
— What happened with Jessy ? I said, trying to contain my relief.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1hxU1ko7xI
— I don’t know, I was talking to him and, suddenly, he went out to get some fresh air. Who invited him anyway ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDHVp6yAJQ
— It's me. We had a class together, I told him it would be the best way to meet people.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqVEVYF9TQ9
How nice Chad is ! That's why I love him, my heart reminds me.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkc3wPpFJyT
— I’m going to try to find out who brought the alcohol, he continues.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx6sT5ox2lH
— I am coming with you.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡraLnJsZYI1
We leave Amy in the living room and head towards the kitchen. A group of American football players, of which Chad is the quarterback, are seated there.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwXRF4koENg
— Damn, you guys are annoying ! I warned you though : no alcohol.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH7NwkrPHvl
My boyfriend raises his voice.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYCd2fdhreu
— Relax, Chad, it's just beers.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡymhpWOxp2Q
— Beers or not, if my parents find out I'll be in big trouble, get rid of it ! 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTuwUEvzGJa
The five young people take their bottles while complaining and drop one which spills down the front of my dress.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4EjXbCTu1v
— It’s clever ! Chad exclaims as I gape.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVqozSR2iEY
I grab a roll of paper towels and try to wipe the alcohol off, to no avail.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAD7VzKk0Do
— Come with me, my boyfriend said, taking me by the hand. I don't mean to be offensive, but you stink of alcohol. We're going to have problems with your parents if you leave like that again.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHi3f7yxt54
— I know, it’s because of your stupid friends ! 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhANBFJhZ1a
— I'm sorry. I have an idea. Go take a shower, and in the meantime, I'll wash and dry your dress and off you go, neither seen nor known ! 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiHhGLXx0PG
Having little choice, I accept.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG4FYTYZeHm
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Several minutes later, which seemed like an eternity, I found Chad in his room. I am in my bathrobe and my boyfriend is holding my clean dress in his hands when there is a knock at the door. Neither of us has time to make a move that Amy and Pearl are already initiating. They stand in the doorway, look at us and mutter an apology before closing the door, giggling.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiY5Zn13Ld4
— Great, they’re going to think anything now, I mutter angrily.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpw7w4HrMe2
— But no, they are your friends. You just need to explain the situation to them when we get down.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKnKKEZoPDv
I'm not convinced, but Chad is right, they are my friends, they will definitely believe me. And then, I have nothing to reproach myself for.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYn6b2Vr0Zh
Clearly, this evening is far from being the evening I dreamed of ! 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaoSxxZqDnL
When we join the guests on the ground floor, I immediately feel that they are staring at me with eloquent little smiles. I'm going to pour myself a glass of non alcoholic punch when Amy and Pearl come to talk to me.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoBuZnmN9vC
— So, Meg, how was it ? Is Chad as good a shot as he seems ? Amy asks me, with a spark of curiosity in her eyes.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhgQ1ALXGYm
— What are you talking about ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBF9IB9G7Eg
— Of you and Chad half naked in his room ! 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKR9KwdcUYs
— That’s not at all what you think ! Nothing happened ! Some idiots had spilled beer on me. I had to take a shower while Chad cleaned my dress and he was dressed in case you didn't notice ! 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqutoUDihO9
It annoys me to have to justify myself as if I had committed a crime.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGy4E3TY74
— But of course ! Pearl replies, giggling with Amy before walking away towards other students in our class.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3qIocOKj1
This story is crazy, and the worst part is that no one wants to believe me, not even my best friends, at least the ones I thought were real friends. The looks that I already found embarrassing became even more insistent, and shame invaded me. It’s a shame to feel this ! Sensing my discomfort, Chad comes to join me.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHQGpM06eP
— I'm going back.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF7pQBdqsQX
— But no, stay, you're not going to let these idiots ruin your evening ! 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwd4r3mhoH8
He hugs me tightly to reassure me, but379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJnJQfhYZfg
I gently push him away. There are already enough comments as it is, there is no point in adding more.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFyJz3wh7jI
— No, I'm going back. See you tomorrow ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8cg7l3AEZr
Disappointed, he acquiesces. I kiss him on the tips of his lips as we usually do.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDzPQnuNdI
— You don’t want me to take you home ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ82D4Gz3bCB
— I need to walk...379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXbMwgx0aRL
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf7RDbgArqD
It feels good to be alone and to be able to enjoy the peace and quiet of the cool night. The moon just makes a crescent in the sky. Looking up, I admire the stars which, far from everything, don't care about the gossip that runs on Earth. Tears burn my eyes, I feel more alone than ever on this Earth which is definitely not running smoothly.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCIV3pnLaxQ
— Did you need to get some fresh air ? A soft voice nearby asks, bringing me out of my reverie.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkjUrZcloQQ
Jessy is by my side, looking up to the sky.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKxLTQN9zGW
— Yes. Exactly. You too ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGiY9pOpQ6v
This is the first time I've seen him up close. Immediately, my heart races. A small diamond shines in his ear, replacing the cross he wore during the day. Two locks frame his forehead, falling in front of his eyes when he lowers his head. I know I shouldn't stare at him like that, but I can't help it. I feel like an insect attracted by a light that hypnotizes it. He looks at me, gives me a smile. Why do I feel so intimidated around him ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIyjyxg3A5M
A breath of wind rises, making me shiver. Jessy takes off his black leather jacket and hands it to me, I put it on and thank him. Does he notice my trouble ? I don't know, but from his piercing gaze, I suspect he's enjoying the situation.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDeEyuBuLLm
— Yes, I needed to get some fresh air too, I don’t really like crowds. I saw you leaving, I thought maybe you’d like some company ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH4oQFbhLzZ
— If you want, I shrug casually while being happy that he noticed me. Jessy, is that right ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw7TfDtqrWZ
He nods with a smile.
— I'm Meg...
— Megan, I know.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWRd04U7jbv
I look at him, surprised.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUMh3OdnP0I
— Good. What else do you know about me ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoL0xAhD5tQ
— Let’s see… You’re the best student in class, and you’re dating the star player of the football team.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr9i67RqWkm
— You're good ! 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm3EzFbUbOQ
— I guess you must have heard something about me too ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡauSlkKgNtc
— Not much, actually. I just know that you are seventeen, that you have just arrived in Millisky and that you are repeating your school year.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfjzSInJnRO
— Everything is true. It's not that serious ? What upsets you..., he adds to my astonishment.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOcUpTXDvjN
— No, there are much worse things in life. It's nothing, just nonsense.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVHezSaNk34
— If it’s so harmless, then why did you leave your boyfriend’s party ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUmiokNzNeN
— Maybe because, this evening, I saw the true faces of my so called friends. My confidence in them melted like snow in the sun.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFKZhUW6AU5
Jessy sighs as she looks up again to look at the starry sky.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡalh3qyO0MR
— I know this feeling of disappointment well.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjrXdkN4l1z
— Did this happen to you too ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7tx9SlNvB6
He seems surprised that I am interested in him and turns to me, burying his hands in the pockets of his pants.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qBIQkcklw
— To be betrayed, disappointed ? Oh yes ! Although I don't understand why your friends would turn their backs on you.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD75Bjwvu0K
— Haven't you heard the gossip spread by Amy and Pearl ? They told everyone that I slept with Chad. Even though I told them that this is not the case, they did not believe me, and worse, they preferred to continue to denigrate me.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡacSsax5cY9
As I tell him this, I search his eyes to check if he is sincere or if he is making fun of me like the others.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBG8RJA7QvU
— I have learned to no longer listen, and even less believe, what people say out of pure malice or jealousy. I am convinced that you are telling the truth.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡar8Jn8k5Wt
— You seem very sure of yourself for someone who doesn’t know me ! 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgkTcV6ztV7
He locks his gaze on mine before responding : 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvqC48OUqQ9
— I see in you.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsm6TIUrj9q
This response leaves me speechless and upsets me more than it should. Faced with him, with his words, I feel lost. Fortunately, we arrived on my street and I just want to be alone to try to analyze what I feel.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfsgLAhRo6X
— Thank you, I said, handing him back his jacket. And thank you for taking me home.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrxLh78GWY1
— At your service, he says, turning left while I continue straight.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9NNDV6AW3
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgiEIRVy5Kq
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJN9y4MZmM
The following days, nothing erases this attraction which pushes me towards Jessy. This makes me feel so guilty that I try to focus on my relationship with Chad, without really succeeding. As for Jessy, I feel like he's been running away from me since the other night. He looks away as soon as I look at him and doesn't speak to me anymore. I don't know what I did wrong for him to ignore me like that, but it pains me a lot. Perhaps he also ended up believing the nonsense that was circulated about my relationship ? If that were the case, I would be extremely hurt.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjiQ27t1VQt
It was during history class that the teacher gave me the opportunity to get closer to him.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJBciYaauNJ
— I asked each of you to write a presentation on the last lesson.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaFQElcvlR8
At these words, several students point to their copy on their table.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrBCyzK8jKA
— Jessy, can you pick them up ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkYQjaOwVo4
This one executes. When he reaches my height, his gaze finally anchors on mine. I feel like seconds are becoming minutes. At this very moment, I realize how much I've missed Jessy these past few days. His hand brushes against mine as I hand him my paper, making me want to grab it and never let go.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAyDyiPAzZW
As if reading my thoughts, Jessy narrows his eyes slightly and purses his lips. Then he turns away towards the next table, breaking the spell that united us as the professor continues speaking : 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5B5yqA2ya
— To find out what you have learned from this course, I have prepared a written quiz for you.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdGuNO3oeV1
Immediately, boos are heard.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqE2diZ3TiZ
— Yes, I know, I'm not nice. While you answer the questionnaire, I will go through your presentations and form teams of two. For next week, you will have to refine your different points of view, compare them, in order to share them in front of the whole class.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO0p5a7y4G5
Although I am a good student, I don't particularly enjoy being on the board in front of everyone else and am already worried about who I will have to work with. As long as it's neither with Amy nor with379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIkHI8nsPlR
Pearl. I haven't spoken to them since the party at Chad's.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCsOGIQXyrV
They tried to come see me on Monday but I totally ignored them. Even if I find myself alone most of the time, Chad does not share all of my classes, I prefer that to being poorly accompanied.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9mrLk4IyQl
For long minutes, I put these thoughts aside to concentrate on the questioning.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj1J5vp5mTb
When I finish, I raise my head and look behind me, towards Jessy who finishes a few seconds after me.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrT2HfyTolT
The teacher notices us because he tells us : 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkA0NLGILdA
— Alright. Megan and Jessy, you'll be teaming up next week. You can go.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkTbdUq02fE
At the same time, we get up and put our homework on the teacher's desk before leaving the classroom.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPGbVcxfEpr
I thought we were going to be able to discuss this project but already Jessy is quickly moving away.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK8PT7Vkmry
— Jessy, wait ! 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ogBoEIERz
He slows down, but doesn't stop.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2VIUpqa8H
— We need to discuss how we are going to approach this presentation.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSnz3TkrU3O
His shoulders relax and he exhales.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7GeFBh9STv
— I don't like working with others. So I suggest you do your part on your own, I will do the same and we will meet again before the next class to compare our points of view.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIxq7YSCnX
— Thank you for your proposal but I refuse. There's no way I'm going to get a bad grade because you're antisocial.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ49t7hy2oFl
— I'm not…379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOqEtAzQEog
Before he finishes his sentence, I raise an eyebrow which interrupts him.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWDM9UF8f85
— Okay, maybe I am a little, he admits with a little smile. Alright, you win Megan.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCbysF8Sbjg
Feeling like I need to take advantage of my advantage before he changes his mind, I quickly scribble my address on a piece of paper and hand it to him.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeF2B3ud0py
— Come to my place at the end of classes, we will be quiet to study.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDBd4ZWOzGO
— Thanks for the address but we could just as easily meet up after school and go to your house together.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDKLKoFwa7g
Why didn't I think of that ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyuirFmKyYV
I refrain from slapping myself.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbSX4Ft9WXm
Embarrassed by my stupidity, I smile shyly. Jessy leans towards me, slips my address into his pocket and adds mischievously : 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFPXG3pkrvz
— I'm keeping it anyway. You never know, you might get lost along the way.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnb4mGPYzjy
I don't understand why just looking at him, talking to him, puts me in this state. I feel my cheeks on fire and I am certain that when I open my mouth, nothing but nonsense comes out.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdcWH0I0aUh
But what is happening to me ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBPbfeLpy5D
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡESJlsTig5d
During the next class, I feel Chad's gaze, sitting at the desk next to mine, weighing on me suspiciously. I do my best to appear comfortable and innocent until he hands me a paper.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNpKcKqGCXY
What's going on with Jessy ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNLxTF6tvd
Astonished, I wrote : 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ350enocELa
What ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9UDKb1gKd6
Chad's response was quick : 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPqobTLIRU
Amy told me you two seem close and that I should be worried. It's the case ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEE4raAlcvZ
Anger replaces disbelief. What the hell is his problem ? Is she not tired of taking care of my life, of making up stories for me ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBGxBrBRxQI
No, not at all. We just have a presentation to make together. 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHk6d8s5Nch
A smile lights up Chad's features. I managed to reassure him, yet I fear I may not have been completely honest with him.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLcgwgVMb07
As I look at his profile, I have to recognize that my boyfriend no longer inspires in me the feelings that inspired me just a few months ago. I feel myself detaching myself from Chad, I come to wonder if I was only in love with him one day or if I have always confused love and friendship. Slipping my hands through my hair, I breathe deeply. The only thing I know for sure is that I am lost in my emotions.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTyd1psHJGq
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5XkK2cLA67
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGulj5ym6Sy
At the end of class, Jessy comes to join me, backpack on his shoulder and a book in hand.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOQ5NurWtr4
— I love this book. I must have read it about ten times since last year, he tells me. I thought you might like to read it ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEPYFxGgWzr
While walking the streets, I quickly skim a few pages.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ43ksNC0NZ6
— Do you mind if I save it to read tonight ? I'll give it back to you tomorrow.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXeFZ5KRFg
— On the contrary. It’s so rare that I meet people who like to read something other than comics.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZOl4ksavN
— I understand you. Comics are Chad's favorite reading.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡesa9ZO2vvU
— I'm not surprised, Chad seems more of an athlete than a cerebral one.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9XLx3kshuj
I am left speechless.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGInHRUKr5t
— Are you always this frank ? Can't help but ask him.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8BPYOscMiF
He shrugs his shoulders while responding : 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkEVcDKYsKO
— Very often. I hurt you ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDwSvl3ynkf
I thought for a few seconds before answering him.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5B7CFM33kZ
— No. I must admit that it is the truth.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZd2Af9ZfIZ
His smile widens, making me melt a little more.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTOkELJdehF
Arriving home, we sit in the living room and chat about the homework we have handed in. We both think we'll get good grades. My mother comes home from work and walks into the living room, surprising us. I suddenly feel uncomfortable being with a boy other than Chad under my parents' roof. I jump up, followed by my guest.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHDY0wCpcK6
— Hey, Ch…, it’s not Chad, she smiled.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCSseo0J1OG
— Mom, this is Jessy.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxdxArxwVat
They greet each other.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIxMs4csoEw
— We have a presentation to give to the whole class about the Second World War.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡurZntCyUzO
With a nod, Jessy confirms my words. Since my mother arrived, he hasn't said a word, and seems intimidated. This adds as evidence : 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0DLbb7Wjvb
— Jessy, are you staying to eat with us this evening ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZiB0u9FdSm
He shrugs his shoulders.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4rUhMpNplB
— I don't want to bother you…379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBIJ1T7PsWC
— Don't worry, I still cook too much since Nick left for college.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgk0uyuP07i
— Nicolas is my older brother…379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRXJuUnw9Ys
— It would be a pleasure to have you with us. My husband is tired of being surrounded by girls.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWmvQUQAdwM
— Okay then, Jessy said, smiling. Thanks ! 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1AKDbEmWSF
A little later, he met my father, then Nina. When it was time to sit down at the table, without anyone telling her, Jessy naturally took a seat next to me. I control myself so as not to let my disorder appear in front of those close to me. I feel myself vibrate every time his arm brushes mine. From time to time, Jessy looks at me sideways and gives a little amused smile, and I immediately blush ! 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrpAWj6I9O2
The meal passes in a good atmosphere until Nina, as usual, says out loud what she is thinking : 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGPRc4NdlHF
— You're not bad, Jessy, but I prefer Chad. It is awesome ! 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw2HscDyvwg
— Nina ! We don't say that kind of thing ! Reprimands my mother.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY3x1xJfpm5
— For what ? I tell the truth.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4AMnr6wSmZ
— Chad is nice, Jessy responds politely.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡitwsUWKT5o
— And he’s strong ! Nina continues, making me want to throw myself over the table and strangle her.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC8oY8nss4Y
— It’s true, Chad is a great athlete, adds my father. He also taught Megan how to drive. Considering the number of guests at his party the other night, he's also very popular. He has everything going for him, this boy, says my father, whom I would like to strangle at the same time as my sister.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡplOTAMWefy
— It’s true that he’s really lucky, Jessy whispers, looking at me.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdRgbagwTse
I stare at him, not knowing how to react. I have a sudden and insane desire to throw myself into his arms to kiss him, this idea scares me as much as his words made me happy. Also, I'm left speechless, which makes him smile more.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbNvjD01LYr
At the end of the meal, Jessy helps me clear the table, then asks me where the bathroom is. I tell him. My mother then approaches me and gives me a little smile.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Rm9IQwomB
— This boy is very nice, she comments quietly so that only I can hear. And very cute at that.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO3hN8jlmyY
I glance at him sideways, smiling.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf1T9mjRULo
"I suppose you know what you're doing ? "379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡInXOv3kdCi
— Not really.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9OoxW1OC8a
— Meg, you’re sixteen. You didn't make a lifelong commitment to Chad. You are all young, you have the right to be carefree. I was, at your age, and I didn't know your father until much later, when I decided to settle down.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5rSrBfEgaH
— You know very well that I am too serious to let myself be guided by my emotions without having first thought for hours.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqbCMWeROXs
— Yes, I know, my mother sighs. And at first glance, I would say that Jessy seems to be just like you.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJtANXtWasW
— You think that…379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjX4aAmK89B
I want to ask her if she thinks Jessy is interested in me, but I leave it hanging when I see him coming back to us.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQen85MXDB
— Thank you very much for inviting me to your table. It's getting late, I'm going to go home.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡht8VdwBohM
— Wait, I'm going to walk with you for a while.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNav0bEERhW
Jessy nods before going to grab his jacket hanging on a hook in the entryway.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76woYcEK80
— Thanks again ! Have a good evening everyone, he says as he leaves.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuLwR2TBYSb
— Megan ! 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhAnxPFfQ8
I turn to my mother who is standing in the hallway, at the entrance to the kitchen.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Dko2pkIXC
— I am sure of it ! 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnIY58GiVes
I give him a big smile.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvMAYU3QXmP
— She is sure of what ? Asks Jessy who heard everything from the porch.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡInToxD67ie
— Oh, you're welcome, just something I asked him.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ivrCl20z8
Fortunately, he doesn't insist.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXOAwGJtUCw
We walk down the sidewalk in silence.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9DDwXfxJKh
My neighborhood is a quiet place, where all the houses379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4UPXXqo9kC
look alike with their little white fence surrounding the garden. Only the colors of the houses vary from one to another, sometimes white with blue shutters, sometimes brown with red shutters. Our family home is cream with green shutters. My father makes a point of maintaining it well, repainting it as soon as the paint shows signs of age, and mowing the lawn regularly. This corner of the city is not known for being the richest, but at least its inhabitants ensure that nothing can damage it. I love this quiet little town which seems to live as if in a cocoon where nothing serious ever happens and where the smallest event, like the arrival of Jessy, is experienced as big news. This thought pulls me out of my reverie and, turning back to my companion, I decide to question him.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgjzhnus4ck
— Did you move here alone ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3sQYtFIA3A
This seems incongruous to me since he is only seventeen, but I never see him with anyone, not even in town.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfnZwHPfTV
— No, I live with my mother.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wtqNW8X5O
— And your father ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU7D5napKXG
— My father died when I was a kid.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQJFTgcxrB
— Sorry.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPFZtF5rCVW
— It's nothing. My mother remarried and I have a little brother, Jason, who is now seven.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQdHMbAan4t
— So your father in law and your brother live with you ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmvao2Ukssa
Jessy grimace. 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9dZCO3NZ3w
— No, they stayed in Allentown.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02GCg3YIKx
— For what ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdwhyWtQiBB
Jessy gives me a big smile while answering : 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFD5NzaB1EQ
— Joker ! 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8tWqcyc2wE
Preferring not to insist, I move on to other questions : 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡscomi2yjFE
— Why did you leave Allentown ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJfKFDggGXU
— Re joker ! 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7KiXfvSkJC
— OK. I always see you alone... but you must have friends ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ16IoflwNaR
— You know, I just arrived and I don’t know anyone yet, except you. In Allentown, I had friends, or so I thought, but..., he interrupts himself, purses his lips, shaking his head : 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNJco7GbQiw
— I don't want to talk about it... Let's just say, sometimes you think you know people and you're wrong.
— Like me the other night...379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCipTSpqNiR
Looking serious, he nods.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhBQxoFAccY
— So you’re from Allentown ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJxMUdFIsb9
— Yes, I lived in a small neighborhood where everyone had known each other forever, a bit like this one. (He looks around.) Except that in town, we couldn't see the stars as well.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbe1mhKvsJA
I follow his gaze, staring at the sky illuminated by hundreds of sparkling points that no cloud hides. I feel very small and fragile in the face of this immensity. It's strange to find myself next to this boy to whom I feel close and who, at the same time, intimidates me so much.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgfQb4GJx8S
— Your family loves Chad very much, he said suddenly, breaking this magical moment. How long have you been together ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBp2zthhlGe
I sit on the low wall bordering a house for sale.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡExgijSkSDH
— My father was a big athlete in high school and I think he recognizes himself in Chad. My mother finds him cute and nice, and my sister is in love with him, I think ! (I smile.) He and I have known each other for a very long time, since kindergarten in fact…379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcGSFQGDUjh
— And you’ve always loved him, Jessy adds, sitting down next to me.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLQylrMcD0T
I blush and lower my head.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDf0wY4WM17
— It’s complicated… But let’s talk about you instead. Did you leave a girlfriend in Allentown ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtCXpEDwp34
Jessy turns to me and raises his eyebrows, visibly surprised. I stare at him, both impatient and dreading his answer.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjv9zX7EsmU
— Your question is strange...
— Why ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwoT1Fku91o
— Because you're dating the perfect guy according to everyone around you, so I wonder what your questioning is hiding.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl8lZXe2utP
— It wasn’t you who told me that you shouldn’t necessarily listen to what others say ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAFTRxdNR5u
— Touché, he smiled. Let's say I had a girlfriend.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx5YJLSxs4p
— You still have ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6XhQw3BGfV
— Well no, we split up...379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvgpIr0jYH4
I don't give him time to finish his sentence as my lips are already on his. Immediately, he kisses me back.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7LNOvSKMuP
His lips are soft and warm on mine, I feel him slide a hand to my waist, pulling me closer to him until, as suddenly as it began, he pushes me back forcefully before standing up abruptly. jump, visibly annoyed.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrtEydiJHnP
— That’s not true ! Why did you do it ? He writes to himself while standing in front of me, hands on hips waiting for a response.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5J7R8bXrfu
— I don’t know, I said as sincerely as possible. Since I met you, I have felt lost. I don't know why but I feel like I've known you forever and this feeling totally upsets me. I was hoping you felt the same way I did.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡehYwN115ph
Far from calming down, Jessy walks away from me, walking as quickly as he can. I get up and run after him.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyQ3euJBoyw
— Jessy, wait ! What is happening ? Please don't tell me that kiss was that bad ! 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJtYgTtYkQG
He doesn't stop though. I grab him by one arm, forcing him to stop his way.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMBh7gVQgR1
He glares at me.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡryeaSJfcGz
— I'm sorry if... I shouldn't have kissed you, but I honestly thought you wanted to too.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMUNNCS8Fjs
— It is, he whispers, staring at me.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTeDRsrEYcG
— So where is the problem ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Xi1wxxyuo
— I can not do that.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDbEXbiuDhT
— But why ? I know that compared to Chad it's a bad thing but...379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA03ZibIEPB
— It has nothing to do with him. The problem is me. I'm not made for love, he gets angry again. I gave too much, now that is forbidden to me.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡocp91TlHnS
He frees himself from my hand before continuing on his way. Staying there, I say to him : 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKVqRgO2jb
— I don't understand ! You can't pretend to want to kiss me and then run away like that a second later. It's not me who made you suffer so why should I pay for what others made you endure ? I'm not your ex ! 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfz3erPoDH2
Abruptly, he stops his running, turns around before coming back towards me. His features are distorted by anger but I also read a form of pain there.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU2iK5ePEk8
— No, you are not the one who changed my life and I in no way wish to become the one who changes yours in the same way ! My life is ruined Meg, I'm already at the end. I'm going to die, he adds when he sees that I don't understand his words.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3LySmtMj9p
— Wh... What ? I stammer, in shock.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFzIUakqZcQ
He gets closer. His face is only a few centimeters from mine.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj0XZFwOD1A
— Meg, I'm HIV positive. I have the AIDS virus, he admits quietly so that no one else can hear him, although the street is deserted. So stay away from me, believe me it's better ! 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVCgjBn4isc
He leaves as quickly as possible. Soon night envelops it completely. For a long moment, I stay there, dismayed, unable to make the slightest gesture, no longer knowing what to think. His words seem to spin in my head like a wild merry go round that no one can stop. I don't know how long I stand on that sidewalk looking in his direction long after he's gone.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVBcA62veBc
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡShk1lft2sN
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3M4XE645G2
When I get home, I try not to let anything show and lock myself in the kitchen. I thought I would be safe, but as soon as I closed the door, my mother opened it and stuck her head in.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU5eSNgrRSe
— Are you okay, Meg ? You're very pale, aren't you sick ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhOOpHAGaO6
— Everything is fine. I miss Nicolas, I would like to talk to him.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe6K97Cwwrv
Understanding the message, my mother nods and closes the door behind her. Immediately, I grab the phone and dial my brother’s number. Luckily he answers after two rings.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpvWxMPBl06
— Hello ? he says, happily.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU6Mjxazpjz
— Nick, it’s me.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp1q8LtiUEA
I'm having a hard time keeping the tremors in my voice at bay.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ38F58pINRq
— Meg, what’s going on ? He worries.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzV4zp6H5uT
The day I met Jessy, I told my brother that same evening. He seemed happy that a boy other than Chad was messing with me. For some reason, Nick always grimaced at my relationship with Chad. 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjj6GYQV0Fe
— Jessy came to the house for dinner this evening... 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKOIC2QtGCK
— Oh, he sighs, he threw you away.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgg5rnw5O9d
I think about the way I kissed him and feel myself blushing again. If I had known how he was going to push me away, I would never have let myself be carried away by my desire.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0UJMnNEglo
— Yes, but that’s not the worst, I sob. Jessy admitted to me that she was sick.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD5HKBRYy70
Realizing the horror of the situation, I fall to the ground. I am not afraid of AIDS, I know that I risk nothing. But I am terrified for Jessy, for his future which is likely to be short. My brother doesn't speak, he gives me time to calm down. When my sobs dry up, I continue : 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWgCAbJytLb
— Jessy is HIV positive, I blurt out in one breath.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2p2lU6uFki
A gasp of surprise escapes my brother.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9OgD1sjfoy
— Okay, he breathes, making me understand that he’s thinking about the situation. What are you going to do ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZ0OXIiF1b
— I don't know. Nick, I need to know your opinion.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRiDAa9vfN1
— I admit that I didn't expect that at all. Do you see yourself turning your back on him ? 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVmt8mtUQO2
— I wouldn't be able to.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV4uyWxgN8C
— Meg, I know this probably isn't the kind of relationship you imagined, but based on what you've told me so far about this guy, I think right now he especially needs support and friendship. Don’t reject him because he doesn’t match your ideal.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdclQfVcojE
— Exactly, he corresponds to my ideal and the fact that he is ill changes nothing. If I am devastated it is because AIDS is an incurable disease. I don't want him to die, Nick, I'm crying again.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEuZKlS3yER
I am aware that I have only known him for a short time but, without being able to explain it, he has already marked my existence.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQzW6QK8SPq
— Come on, little sister, don’t cry. For now, Jessy is alive and, even if he keeps you at a distance, I'm sure he would be happy to have you in his life. Try to make him smile while he's here. He must need to think about something other than this crap.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW9EfXR7T2H
— You're right. Nick, what I confided to you must absolutely remain between us. No one should know.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUXD4Pbtcvt
— Finally you know me ! Come on now tell me how he dumped you ! He laughs as I bite my lip in shame.
