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I am quietly installed in my office. This is my own place, in this family home. Far from the adventures of my children, I appreciate being able to breathe calmly from time to time. There, I decompress and take the time to think, to drown myself in my thoughts, in my memories.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtuY76jeHGV
Suddenly there is a knock at the door. I quickly slip the photo I had been looking at for several minutes into the pocket of my blouse, and pretend to be concentrating on a file. I barely have time to say, “Come in” when the door opens to reveal my daughter. At seventeen and a half years old, she has behaved like a real tornado since the start of her adolescence, four years earlier. However, in her face framed by long brown hair, childhood can still be seen.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC8yjUQqoIC
— Mom, I need to talk to you about something super important ! 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiuv2hZ87Wn
I suppress a smile. With Orlane, everything is always mega important ! 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDvNZmPRI5A
— Ok I hear you.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1BeRs2i261
— With Alexandra, we would like to get a tattoo ! She says, excited, as if it’s the best news of the year.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2yC33mBgY8
— A tattoo ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYVlQ8ojSkS
She nods energetically.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpfW7Vd3lz6
— While you are still a minor ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡivays3l8Lm
— Soon to be an adult.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPKcWFiaksK
— Yes, so seventeen years and counting.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP8DfD33MYd
— If you say so. So, is it yes ? I need parental consent to do this.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4GlLmJQzle
— No way ! 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡydudF9tx4q
As I expected, my daughter's face turns an angry red, while her light eyes darken.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGoMXIPaXQo
— You never let me do anything cool ! She shouts, slamming the door behind her.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWdSpEeKcoV
Another of these great classics is to avoid any discussion by taking long strides. I hear him scream.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwmcYVpZNAL
— She always forbids me from everything ! She’s never there for us ! 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPWTqMI8ppK
— You exaggerate ! Mom is always there whenever we need her, tries to calm my son down in a paternalistic tone.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI8gDlQs8VB
Calm, thoughtful and very mature in nature for a young man of sixteen, my son has a character that is the polar opposite of that of his sister.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡheDqt5Cre9
— She’s not a cool mother ! 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8wAburYRh2
I decide to join them in the kitchen.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGoxRCjaGd9
— If being fashionable means letting you drink alcohol, do drugs, let you date anyone, or allow you to get tattoos, then no, I'm not cool...336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzBPvWQOdfM
— But why don’t you want to ? After all, it’s just a little drawing on the skin, adds my daughter with a pout.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlewRNWLKzG
My God, how tenacious she is… Like me ultimately.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPUySHNnm5L
— Orlane, the day you want to get a tattoo for a good reason, I will accept, but not to be like your friends.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡssQGjUwATK
My son looks at us, imperturbable.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡURADVeQN14
— You definitely have a tattoo ! She accuses me, angrily.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfLTVRelFAG
I look down, weighing the pros and cons, and end up telling them : 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzshTgRldcR
— Follow me to the living room, both of you. I need to talk to you.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgS8f6QN2CX
Without a word, they accompany me, and each sit in one of the large armchairs, facing mine.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPrskglOVtK
— You are both old enough now for me to tell you a story. And please don't interrupt me. The story I am about to tell you is personal to me, but it is important that you know it, because it has made us who we are.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFhhOm3uEyJ
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It all started on September 26, 1991 : 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡplfMBgromP
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Autumn has not yet arrived although the leaves of the trees are starting to turn red under the less intense rays of the sun.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxdTQdus4Sq
I detail my reflection while doing my hair in front of the mirror. I don't think I'm pretty, although many people tell me otherwise. I'm not very tall, I don't have the figure of a top model, in fact, I find myself rather ordinary. Not to mention this damn hair that refuses to stay styled the way I want it ! Giving up trying to tame them, I abandon my hairbrush and go down the stairs of the house. I'm so happy to be in high school where I'm now one of the big guys. Sixteen is the age where my real life begins, the age where my parents finally treat me like an adult and no longer like an immature child. The age when all dreams are achievable and desires possible.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrgbUH8fUzV
My mind escapes for a moment to fly towards Chad, my boyfriend of several months. Chad is young, handsome, athletic and intelligent when he manages to stay focused long enough on his homework instead of thinking about sports, which is hard for him. He's not very tall, but built like a sportsman : all muscles. I like his black hair in a crew cut, and his hazel eyes. We have known each other since childhood. I had been secretly in love with him for years. In high school, I was known for being the type of serious girl, always top of the class, which did not attract boys, much to my despair. Chad is the most popular boy in school, so there was no chance he would be interested in me until a teacher asked me to help him with math. When he finally asked me to go out with him, I couldn't believe it anymore.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4SRmrpSp5L
For six months, Chad and I have been in perfect love...336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo7puEx3UKB
Okay, we only exchanged chaste kisses, we don't go out much, instead spending our time watching movies at his house. I also admit that contrary to what I had always imagined, I don't feel this passion that romance novels boast about, perhaps this is due to the fact that we have few things in common. When Chad kisses me, I have the horrible feeling of kissing my best friend but I’m sure that with time, our story will become more intense, passionate and that this feeling will disappear. After all, he’s the one I always wanted so everything will work out in the end.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbGgc41YnWR
Letting out a romantic sigh, I enter the kitchen. Almost my entire family is gathered there : Ashley and John, my parents as well as Nina, my younger sister. The only thing missing is Nicolas, my big brother who recently left for New York University and who only comes home for the holidays.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmvTMqIqdI8
— My little Megan… The more I see you, the less you look like my baby, my mother laments, staring at me.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpU2ZjyMo4u
She isn’t very tall, she has a face with soft features that charms most people she meets. I get her brown hair and blue eyes from her. She always expresses herself calmly, but with conviction.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡteqSUYfF1A
I act as if his rantings don't matter to me.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0uEkiA5ivE
— Mom, I’ll always be your daughter. And then, you have Nina as a baby…336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbuCRvfkP9k
My sister makes a face. At thirteen, she sees herself more as a teenager than as the youngest member of the family.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYkMtcmoxTu
— Are you still planning to go to Chad’s party tonight ? How many will you be ? Asks my father before swallowing his coffee.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVpl9M4djxM
— Yes I’m going. There will be about fifty of us.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu57ciyhdYo
My father coughs and chokes.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSo1P9gi1kO
— That much ? Ask my mother in turn.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvnGcrCEobL
I nod yes.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOqR2QTXRCJ
— There will be the whole class as well as Chad's friends, that's a lot of people, he's very popular at school.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEvyeMOTOi2
— That’s true, my father agrees with a touch of pride.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxkTceFYMZX
Even though he tends to be overprotective, I love my father very much. I find him a handsome man for his age. At forty, his dark brown hair begins to take on gray shades at the temples and expression lines slowly creep into his angular face, further marking his smile and his frown.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUpi2uL6Xcm
My father works in construction, his specialty is facade maintenance. He judges each house by the quality of its exterior paint ! My mother is a secretary in a real estate agency, which doesn't excite her, but she has fixed hours, which suits her perfectly. We are a middle class American family. We live in a residential neighborhood in the small town of Millisky, Pennsylvania, where almost everyone knows each other, if only by sight. The town has around five thousand souls. We have a hospital, shops, restaurants, cinemas, and even a large shopping center, so we never get bored. In addition, our town is surrounded by a beautiful forest which allows for long walks, we also have a lake about five kilometers to the south. To the west, a hill overlooks the city, it is the chic district where all the local bourgeois have built their beautiful homes, which most often only serve as second homes. To the north, a highway takes us to Pittsburgh, the nearest major city, a two hour drive, and to the east, Philadelphia is a three hour drive.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8MQIYpaBdb
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A little later that day, I'm in the main hallway of the school. It is a large white building, some classrooms have faded walls, originally cream-colored, and the same goes for places of frequent passage. The central corridor has on each side of its walls, two rows of gray lockers stacked on top of each other. I take some books from mine when, turning around, I see a boy of average height, with brown hair and light eyes, walk past me. He looks at me furtively. When I meet his gaze, I feel like I'm falling from a ten- story building. It's a strange thing I've never felt before and it only lasts a few seconds. Coming to my senses, I tell myself that I must be going crazy.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMXLP8gMJ3t
— Not bad, admires Amy, my best friend, who followed my gaze.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNKBz6ILMUr
— New student ? I'm asking perfunctorily as I'm sure I've never seen it before.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZUuzEJOmXH
— I’ll find out, says my friend, narrowing her eyes with interest.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3DMvEvbqTf
— In any case, he’s very cute, I can’t help but point out.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIJyM1HOtaT
— You're the one who says that, even though you're dating the hottest boy in school ! She exclaims, shocked.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDrJ2WPZYOK
I smile, remembering that Chad never wanted to go out with her. He preferred me. It's so rare for a boy to reject her that I know she harbors a little resentment towards me. She has never told me openly but sometimes, like this moment, she throws a little barb at me. Without being mean, it gets heavy some days. However, she has been my friend for so long that I don't see myself falling out with her over such a small matter.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkgXmViKODW
Later that day, in history class, I am fascinated by the documentary that the professor shows us concerning the liberation of Europe during the Second World War. This is not the first report I have seen on the subject but each time, I am caught up in the violence, the abomination of this conflict. When the images of the concentration camps appear on the screen, I look away. This is too hard for me, so I concentrate on a completely different theme. Since the start of the course, I have had the strange sensation of feeling observed. As I turn to scan the class, I see the new student sitting two rows behind me, his eyes fixed on me. When he realizes that I have noticed him, he returns his gaze to the screen. I imitate him but after a few seconds, I turn around again.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW3JxPcT4pi
Grid ! I thought, giving a hint of a smile as he refocused on the documentary. For long minutes, I no longer dared to move. It's stupid but this boy intimidates me.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOlwvGxFkcc
When the film ends, I turn in my seat to follow the teacher as he walks around the class summarizing what we just saw. The newcomer is still staring at me. His look is indecipherable.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3kpr0zbDwX
— Imagine these families separated during endless years of war, imagine their suffering. If you had been in their place, would you have chosen resignation in the face of the invader or would you have opted for resistance ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIiNjC8Maqc
I raise my hand, certain of my answer.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ7GIpEToCm
— Yes Megan.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3P68hasXbv
— I would have chosen resistance. Faced with injustice, I think I would have been incapable of looking at the situation without taking part in the fight.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtGvTZOR2Ju
— Good. Someone else's opinion ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZlXJJleH1N
Many raise their hands including the new one.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOsfAwDl89E
— And you, what do you think ? Asks the teacher, addressing him.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEQGskq4D9B
— I believe that with hindsight, it is easy to give your opinion, but at that time, people who engaged in the resistance ran enormous risks, not only for themselves but also for those close to them. All this must be taken into consideration.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjjUWqpIKXV
— Perfect, Jessy ! 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsrbKx9RlQl
Jessy… 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd2TNSbPuLy
I have a hard time taking my eyes off him even though his name resonates within me.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz5xofjlI9y
— For the next class, you will write me a presentation on this subject, continues the professor.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡseauWOLrFx
The bell announcing the end of classes rings, the new guy immediately picks up his things and leaves, bowing his head. It makes me feel like I'm running away from the whole world.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1JMtBNtbfE
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I head to the bathroom to put some gloss on my lips and find my friends Amy and Pearl there.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLgYJRBg2vs
— So, Meg, where are you with Chad ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG1v4fuSR2o
My cheeks immediately turn red.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTXvktFb3i5
— There is nothing to say.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4mkJb2TcNS
— Don’t tell us you haven’t done it yet, Amy insists.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3siQQ1Fads
— Well no… Well, I mean, do you feel ready ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgEAl7YkrZH
Amy shrugs. I know she hasn't been a virgin for some time.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPB6Sfl8q4W
— There’s no reason, Pearl assures. You're with the boy you've always wanted, so why not go all the way ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUfsR1lZH5L
These words make me think more than they should. I've been dreaming about Chad for years, so why do I feel this stuck ? Why don't my feelings push me to open up completely ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYb3OKlGH3i
I feel lost and I know perfectly well that it's not my friends I could confide in. They would immediately judge me, thinking I'm crazy for asking myself a thousand questions when I'm dating a great guy.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtSpWowfSNC
If only Nick were here, I thought with regret.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDTjf3rxARB
My brother would be able to advise me perfectly. It's crazy how much I miss him. Looking forward to the next vacation so he can come back to see us.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8uqFB5enun
— By the way, have you seen the new one ? Pearl continues, arranging her brown hair in front of the mirror. He is too beautiful ! 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUJehQ2J23h
It’s true that he is beautiful ! A finely sculpted body without being skinny and a face with fine features that I find refined, piercing green eyes lined with long eyelashes, slightly messy light brown hair... I also memorized the little chain with at the end a cross that dangles from his left ear giving him a little rebellious side that I find sexy.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6hH0lImTnx
— I learned a few things about him...336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡreQE6hMnN0
This simple sentence from Amy focuses all my attention.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8nLavcRU4P
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A few hours later, at the end of classes, I found my father in the high school parking lot. This day is important to me. I pass my driving license. I am confident, because for several weeks, Chad has been teaching me everything there is to know and, according to him, I am ready.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Qk48sSYXt
— Megan, we need to talk, my father begins.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX9x78y2P9H
Already knowing that I am going to be treated to a moral lesson, I hold back a sigh.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzunXK1OrPM
— It’s about that party at Chad’s. You know I trust you, but... knowing you with him until late...336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK9FLUUkJG1
When I don't answer, he continues : 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3W5Gl9AJc7
— Will you be… serious this evening ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzsNcqL6D2n
— Dad, I'm still a virgin and I don't plan on that changing tonight.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIclqWTgPpu
— Thank God, he breathes with relief after grimacing.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV9qLBKCKcQ
Shortly after, we return home, me with my license in my pocket and my father with the certainty that I am still innocent.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBb7451ZO8i
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In the evening, I found Chad at his house. He lives in a large, modern and chic house, close to the city center. Their villa includes three bedrooms with an independent bathroom, a games room, an office, a fully equipped kitchen and a gigantic living room which, that evening, easily accommodated fifty guests. Outside, in a garden, in which my entire house could fit, is a heated swimming pool. As the girlfriend of the owner of the house, I make a grand entrance. I'm wearing a pretty black silk dress, perfectly fitted, which suits me perfectly. I turn heads as I pass, especially Chad who only has eyes for me. The party is in full swing, the whole class has gathered there.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWi5rl524II
I'm chatting with Amy in the corner of the room, when I spot the new student, Jessy, standing a little further away. He observes me while chatting with Stanley, a friend of my brother. He stares at me and gives me a small smile to which I can't help but respond.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwZDtmUonr8
Why am I blushing ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8PapEYADVT
— This guy is so hot. I'm going to go and get to know each other, Amy said to me, scrutinizing Jessy.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIXyALKOqhj
Without knowing why, my heart sinks.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrpMqaF0Kvi
— Amy…, my reaction is stupid. You look very pretty with this dress.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQP2KmWXXWM
She smiles. I see her approach Jessy, Stanley quickly walks away while Amy launches into a tirade, pointing out several people in the room. She must inform him of the gossip that is circulating. I can't help the pang of jealousy that creeps into me when I see her place a hand on Jessy's arm. At this moment, he looks up at me, his expression is indecipherable. I have to look elsewhere... But I can't do it.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBT7G09Flpq
— Are you okay, Meg ? You're having fun ? Chad appears in front of me and places his hands on my hips.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUD4aqDxTVC
Finally I take my eyes off Amy and the new guy. I have to think about something other than his green eyes which make me feel like they are penetrating my soul.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjVQpZDCLlH
I place my lips on my boyfriend's in a brief kiss.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5AMUimGC7S
— Where were you ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWNqEgoQJBQ
— I was walking around the house. Haven't you noticed that some people look like they've been drunk ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJEtBDEPQBP
— Yes, I met Matt earlier, he reeked of alcohol.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtkGMs59Da
— Great, Chad breathes, annoyed. If my parents find out about this, I'm dead.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP5YL978r1S
I glance in Jessy and Amy’s direction. He has disappeared while she returns to us, blowing : 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRBfF4Fg7Sq
— This guy is weird ! 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCawOkOuJJM
— What happened with Jessy ? I said, trying to contain my relief.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0pkyjCpx3b
— I don’t know, I was talking to him and, suddenly, he went out to get some fresh air. Who invited him anyway ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡroFf5IlSTQ
— It's me. We had a class together, I told him it would be the best way to meet people.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHxPYHuCX5s
How nice Chad is ! That's why I love him, my heart reminds me.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMTnFRykbsP
— I’m going to try to find out who brought the alcohol, he continues.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhndFyvNa6T
— I am coming with you.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ec0RLaafb
We leave Amy in the living room and head towards the kitchen. A group of American football players, of which Chad is the quarterback, are seated there.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHI7JdbsEpw
— Damn, you guys are annoying ! I warned you though : no alcohol.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrWDR1xQD16
My boyfriend raises his voice.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFXuqYEU9D
— Relax, Chad, it's just beers.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKShLpaGP8e
— Beers or not, if my parents find out I'll be in big trouble, get rid of it ! 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPfKgJXgpnb
The five young people take their bottles while complaining and drop one which spills down the front of my dress.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmnvdoo5hn
— It’s clever ! Chad exclaims as I gape.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8S1rljkXMz
I grab a roll of paper towels and try to wipe the alcohol off, to no avail.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6yVv37T764
— Come with me, my boyfriend said, taking me by the hand. I don't mean to be offensive, but you stink of alcohol. We're going to have problems with your parents if you leave like that again.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYutW4gsxjz
— I know, it’s because of your stupid friends ! 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW63qx2O3Jh
— I'm sorry. I have an idea. Go take a shower, and in the meantime, I'll wash and dry your dress and off you go, neither seen nor known ! 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWCJF6imDE0
Having little choice, I accept.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXlTJfmxs52
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Several minutes later, which seemed like an eternity, I found Chad in his room. I am in my bathrobe and my boyfriend is holding my clean dress in his hands when there is a knock at the door. Neither of us has time to make a move that Amy and Pearl are already initiating. They stand in the doorway, look at us and mutter an apology before closing the door, giggling.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1I528FQKo3
— Great, they’re going to think anything now, I mutter angrily.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2QBa4coyAq
— But no, they are your friends. You just need to explain the situation to them when we get down.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbxDZOpJGS
I'm not convinced, but Chad is right, they are my friends, they will definitely believe me. And then, I have nothing to reproach myself for.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHCNvlkWHJK
Clearly, this evening is far from being the evening I dreamed of ! 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc7iAjNrjXC
When we join the guests on the ground floor, I immediately feel that they are staring at me with eloquent little smiles. I'm going to pour myself a glass of non alcoholic punch when Amy and Pearl come to talk to me.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtg5F8lK160
— So, Meg, how was it ? Is Chad as good a shot as he seems ? Amy asks me, with a spark of curiosity in her eyes.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLj2n5lGu1y
— What are you talking about ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo0jqm0dcrx
— Of you and Chad half naked in his room ! 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwrkFE7sc4
— That’s not at all what you think ! Nothing happened ! Some idiots had spilled beer on me. I had to take a shower while Chad cleaned my dress and he was dressed in case you didn't notice ! 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCax8aoL4r7
It annoys me to have to justify myself as if I had committed a crime.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ghyW77yvA
— But of course ! Pearl replies, giggling with Amy before walking away towards other students in our class.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuOc6KYL0mK
This story is crazy, and the worst part is that no one wants to believe me, not even my best friends, at least the ones I thought were real friends. The looks that I already found embarrassing became even more insistent, and shame invaded me. It’s a shame to feel this ! Sensing my discomfort, Chad comes to join me.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXSPlsZeEqO
— I'm going back.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6neyib8Bfz
— But no, stay, you're not going to let these idiots ruin your evening ! 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡewPKzt7Ons
He hugs me tightly to reassure me, but336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTp9tCZ02AD
I gently push him away. There are already enough comments as it is, there is no point in adding more.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaGgsIs8MiM
— No, I'm going back. See you tomorrow ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKU2OgIo0b0
Disappointed, he acquiesces. I kiss him on the tips of his lips as we usually do.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7GWs2s7Abw
— You don’t want me to take you home ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAOafNGlvej
— I need to walk...336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6DVTzSDMoG
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrmsY216P8C
It feels good to be alone and to be able to enjoy the peace and quiet of the cool night. The moon just makes a crescent in the sky. Looking up, I admire the stars which, far from everything, don't care about the gossip that runs on Earth. Tears burn my eyes, I feel more alone than ever on this Earth which is definitely not running smoothly.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZqfRbWN0ab
— Did you need to get some fresh air ? A soft voice nearby asks, bringing me out of my reverie.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnkrLFF3yp4
Jessy is by my side, looking up to the sky.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Ranzbbtkb
— Yes. Exactly. You too ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJh8R1VWCXX
This is the first time I've seen him up close. Immediately, my heart races. A small diamond shines in his ear, replacing the cross he wore during the day. Two locks frame his forehead, falling in front of his eyes when he lowers his head. I know I shouldn't stare at him like that, but I can't help it. I feel like an insect attracted by a light that hypnotizes it. He looks at me, gives me a smile. Why do I feel so intimidated around him ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIFH95j44UF
A breath of wind rises, making me shiver. Jessy takes off his black leather jacket and hands it to me, I put it on and thank him. Does he notice my trouble ? I don't know, but from his piercing gaze, I suspect he's enjoying the situation.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQUxl1sn3p
— Yes, I needed to get some fresh air too, I don’t really like crowds. I saw you leaving, I thought maybe you’d like some company ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwzkmKfZI7h
— If you want, I shrug casually while being happy that he noticed me. Jessy, is that right ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfEqfoKvFUd
He nods with a smile.
— I'm Meg...
— Megan, I know.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ07qy5LoETN
I look at him, surprised.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8tInBrtlyg
— Good. What else do you know about me ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡodXXcfxOVO
— Let’s see… You’re the best student in class, and you’re dating the star player of the football team.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2dWQ7j4YxT
— You're good ! 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡunOOQAFZvs
— I guess you must have heard something about me too ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmxxaRYz3b4
— Not much, actually. I just know that you are seventeen, that you have just arrived in Millisky and that you are repeating your school year.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcuBwd3OpH9
— Everything is true. It's not that serious ? What upsets you..., he adds to my astonishment.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNrjNmetlPU
— No, there are much worse things in life. It's nothing, just nonsense.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ94jcf5IWNG
— If it’s so harmless, then why did you leave your boyfriend’s party ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTdg5qAwWAC
— Maybe because, this evening, I saw the true faces of my so called friends. My confidence in them melted like snow in the sun.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcPSIAqdeVf
Jessy sighs as she looks up again to look at the starry sky.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvW2X31UnZb
— I know this feeling of disappointment well.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYfASfXrTuV
— Did this happen to you too ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6w3fyfedO6
He seems surprised that I am interested in him and turns to me, burying his hands in the pockets of his pants.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4RJg2xGAjd
— To be betrayed, disappointed ? Oh yes ! Although I don't understand why your friends would turn their backs on you.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrtduiug1YB
— Haven't you heard the gossip spread by Amy and Pearl ? They told everyone that I slept with Chad. Even though I told them that this is not the case, they did not believe me, and worse, they preferred to continue to denigrate me.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZCt2IRykfF
As I tell him this, I search his eyes to check if he is sincere or if he is making fun of me like the others.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzSDDaxMn7D
— I have learned to no longer listen, and even less believe, what people say out of pure malice or jealousy. I am convinced that you are telling the truth.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHnU8CrN5an
— You seem very sure of yourself for someone who doesn’t know me ! 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxOURfybdwB
He locks his gaze on mine before responding : 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNaYEZEIsFe
— I see in you.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡapzpT1jn8r
This response leaves me speechless and upsets me more than it should. Faced with him, with his words, I feel lost. Fortunately, we arrived on my street and I just want to be alone to try to analyze what I feel.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3wHSoJwpAb
— Thank you, I said, handing him back his jacket. And thank you for taking me home.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7d7ht92fE
— At your service, he says, turning left while I continue straight.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2n00vjk35x
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLiWUGvNoON
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5tx4AMR27s
The following days, nothing erases this attraction which pushes me towards Jessy. This makes me feel so guilty that I try to focus on my relationship with Chad, without really succeeding. As for Jessy, I feel like he's been running away from me since the other night. He looks away as soon as I look at him and doesn't speak to me anymore. I don't know what I did wrong for him to ignore me like that, but it pains me a lot. Perhaps he also ended up believing the nonsense that was circulated about my relationship ? If that were the case, I would be extremely hurt.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6oVVGSV1U6
It was during history class that the teacher gave me the opportunity to get closer to him.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHOqRoDD3D0
— I asked each of you to write a presentation on the last lesson.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0RgHdHbxCK
At these words, several students point to their copy on their table.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeIpvsZYxt6
— Jessy, can you pick them up ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq2x10C2Okz
This one executes. When he reaches my height, his gaze finally anchors on mine. I feel like seconds are becoming minutes. At this very moment, I realize how much I've missed Jessy these past few days. His hand brushes against mine as I hand him my paper, making me want to grab it and never let go.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8FXk97a4LE
As if reading my thoughts, Jessy narrows his eyes slightly and purses his lips. Then he turns away towards the next table, breaking the spell that united us as the professor continues speaking : 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaAdpW7vmTr
— To find out what you have learned from this course, I have prepared a written quiz for you.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr1PHK0SxNH
Immediately, boos are heard.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoU1iJOax3s
— Yes, I know, I'm not nice. While you answer the questionnaire, I will go through your presentations and form teams of two. For next week, you will have to refine your different points of view, compare them, in order to share them in front of the whole class.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs419bvlBPe
Although I am a good student, I don't particularly enjoy being on the board in front of everyone else and am already worried about who I will have to work with. As long as it's neither with Amy nor with336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5aEUM8A8Oc
Pearl. I haven't spoken to them since the party at Chad's.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLqgNFAEluH
They tried to come see me on Monday but I totally ignored them. Even if I find myself alone most of the time, Chad does not share all of my classes, I prefer that to being poorly accompanied.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhJrA5PKAH7
For long minutes, I put these thoughts aside to concentrate on the questioning.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWBQxPv6a5n
When I finish, I raise my head and look behind me, towards Jessy who finishes a few seconds after me.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5dNoPXVTlr
The teacher notices us because he tells us : 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmOYqDboL7S
— Alright. Megan and Jessy, you'll be teaming up next week. You can go.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1goWbYdSYn
At the same time, we get up and put our homework on the teacher's desk before leaving the classroom.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwgB3AHtzeA
I thought we were going to be able to discuss this project but already Jessy is quickly moving away.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ77PvEieX7y
— Jessy, wait ! 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjwQDbAUHaJ
He slows down, but doesn't stop.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiGLeZxdLCh
— We need to discuss how we are going to approach this presentation.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ91ff2S2rka
His shoulders relax and he exhales.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ZrnHWnRoF
— I don't like working with others. So I suggest you do your part on your own, I will do the same and we will meet again before the next class to compare our points of view.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ3dXhfTjxI
— Thank you for your proposal but I refuse. There's no way I'm going to get a bad grade because you're antisocial.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYfDtXqPSFd
— I'm not…336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLPXwSHAA6z
Before he finishes his sentence, I raise an eyebrow which interrupts him.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnNDvVCPExZ
— Okay, maybe I am a little, he admits with a little smile. Alright, you win Megan.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvbye8LKnY
Feeling like I need to take advantage of my advantage before he changes his mind, I quickly scribble my address on a piece of paper and hand it to him.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYtoR4nJKSU
— Come to my place at the end of classes, we will be quiet to study.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡedbOjUdTkp
— Thanks for the address but we could just as easily meet up after school and go to your house together.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLXKNDOJUAJ
Why didn't I think of that ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYzJk6FuGUI
I refrain from slapping myself.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWIobdcaf9S
Embarrassed by my stupidity, I smile shyly. Jessy leans towards me, slips my address into his pocket and adds mischievously : 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZRTiYolI53
— I'm keeping it anyway. You never know, you might get lost along the way.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwZFmFecnBx
I don't understand why just looking at him, talking to him, puts me in this state. I feel my cheeks on fire and I am certain that when I open my mouth, nothing but nonsense comes out.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK6Z6wun2An
But what is happening to me ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYdrWf4maCz
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCew7tmY94
During the next class, I feel Chad's gaze, sitting at the desk next to mine, weighing on me suspiciously. I do my best to appear comfortable and innocent until he hands me a paper.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoggGA1okxQ
What's going on with Jessy ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlaDMwCPAxj
Astonished, I wrote : 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMz5SPpAg1j
What ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJpGxP6aw8A
Chad's response was quick : 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZD7O7PhAQI
Amy told me you two seem close and that I should be worried. It's the case ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmU4cGCgBpZ
Anger replaces disbelief. What the hell is his problem ? Is she not tired of taking care of my life, of making up stories for me ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDt1vUQewt
No, not at all. We just have a presentation to make together. 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPV8xwFVLxX
A smile lights up Chad's features. I managed to reassure him, yet I fear I may not have been completely honest with him.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEB9EcKZGu6
As I look at his profile, I have to recognize that my boyfriend no longer inspires in me the feelings that inspired me just a few months ago. I feel myself detaching myself from Chad, I come to wonder if I was only in love with him one day or if I have always confused love and friendship. Slipping my hands through my hair, I breathe deeply. The only thing I know for sure is that I am lost in my emotions.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ6Lj7GnbbE
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIAhLiPB3wo
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSWYh85CzsI
At the end of class, Jessy comes to join me, backpack on his shoulder and a book in hand.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdPWv7NXEh1
— I love this book. I must have read it about ten times since last year, he tells me. I thought you might like to read it ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLFNM936NUH
While walking the streets, I quickly skim a few pages.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0c0vmFzalp
— Do you mind if I save it to read tonight ? I'll give it back to you tomorrow.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ2PvgmA1UC
— On the contrary. It’s so rare that I meet people who like to read something other than comics.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVQ2QXsY2Q0
— I understand you. Comics are Chad's favorite reading.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡerRdiS09xV
— I'm not surprised, Chad seems more of an athlete than a cerebral one.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcACYKEETlV
I am left speechless.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4VUi9SFP25
— Are you always this frank ? Can't help but ask him.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiSxtSsrBM0
He shrugs his shoulders while responding : 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUWqM1kNYOP
— Very often. I hurt you ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoh1QgzLNtg
I thought for a few seconds before answering him.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDHk9vkh2ok
— No. I must admit that it is the truth.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeRcBOIeFIR
His smile widens, making me melt a little more.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjd2yYbXNYQ
Arriving home, we sit in the living room and chat about the homework we have handed in. We both think we'll get good grades. My mother comes home from work and walks into the living room, surprising us. I suddenly feel uncomfortable being with a boy other than Chad under my parents' roof. I jump up, followed by my guest.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxsdJ0gieZY
— Hey, Ch…, it’s not Chad, she smiled.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdV5VPitaHN
— Mom, this is Jessy.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkSmywJuU0w
They greet each other.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPRMH2vIBWy
— We have a presentation to give to the whole class about the Second World War.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKynlFZ4Mm8
With a nod, Jessy confirms my words. Since my mother arrived, he hasn't said a word, and seems intimidated. This adds as evidence : 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1PD6pWHAvC
— Jessy, are you staying to eat with us this evening ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfw7ArpmSfT
He shrugs his shoulders.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFyO21fqxH7
— I don't want to bother you…336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzarZDrIB2O
— Don't worry, I still cook too much since Nick left for college.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnWWBawaSq5
— Nicolas is my older brother…336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkDamatVQuZ
— It would be a pleasure to have you with us. My husband is tired of being surrounded by girls.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOhKG1cMezJ
— Okay then, Jessy said, smiling. Thanks ! 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRITdr4vddc
A little later, he met my father, then Nina. When it was time to sit down at the table, without anyone telling her, Jessy naturally took a seat next to me. I control myself so as not to let my disorder appear in front of those close to me. I feel myself vibrate every time his arm brushes mine. From time to time, Jessy looks at me sideways and gives a little amused smile, and I immediately blush ! 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9uVaNfEMID
The meal passes in a good atmosphere until Nina, as usual, says out loud what she is thinking : 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUT4erSFsdr
— You're not bad, Jessy, but I prefer Chad. It is awesome ! 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKLXB0hsv0c
— Nina ! We don't say that kind of thing ! Reprimands my mother.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvDR84VtJJR
— For what ? I tell the truth.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7tEUVFcZzO
— Chad is nice, Jessy responds politely.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMuce9flRwc
— And he’s strong ! Nina continues, making me want to throw myself over the table and strangle her.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVNPoOiordo
— It’s true, Chad is a great athlete, adds my father. He also taught Megan how to drive. Considering the number of guests at his party the other night, he's also very popular. He has everything going for him, this boy, says my father, whom I would like to strangle at the same time as my sister.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCwx5qx8RMh
— It’s true that he’s really lucky, Jessy whispers, looking at me.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgSIAnBmnuu
I stare at him, not knowing how to react. I have a sudden and insane desire to throw myself into his arms to kiss him, this idea scares me as much as his words made me happy. Also, I'm left speechless, which makes him smile more.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXzNWUpiWqp
At the end of the meal, Jessy helps me clear the table, then asks me where the bathroom is. I tell him. My mother then approaches me and gives me a little smile.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJx9G1S6vMc
— This boy is very nice, she comments quietly so that only I can hear. And very cute at that.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhlqXuto0VB
I glance at him sideways, smiling.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmbj8EykE6N
"I suppose you know what you're doing ? "336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1vCCEKf8po
— Not really.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5IGAuczIqu
— Meg, you’re sixteen. You didn't make a lifelong commitment to Chad. You are all young, you have the right to be carefree. I was, at your age, and I didn't know your father until much later, when I decided to settle down.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaY3NtEny1S
— You know very well that I am too serious to let myself be guided by my emotions without having first thought for hours.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRybbnX1vMn
— Yes, I know, my mother sighs. And at first glance, I would say that Jessy seems to be just like you.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5I0uHVLMlz
— You think that…336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLC6FNrIja6
I want to ask her if she thinks Jessy is interested in me, but I leave it hanging when I see him coming back to us.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHOhW9Mwiyg
— Thank you very much for inviting me to your table. It's getting late, I'm going to go home.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQOeVyGQdXD
— Wait, I'm going to walk with you for a while.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbcJOU8muBC
Jessy nods before going to grab his jacket hanging on a hook in the entryway.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNu13HnIko5
— Thanks again ! Have a good evening everyone, he says as he leaves.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwLNTLZlQqk
— Megan ! 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5t7kPYKvPC
I turn to my mother who is standing in the hallway, at the entrance to the kitchen.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqueBuqh1Iw
— I am sure of it ! 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZErQCPOzkq
I give him a big smile.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdKwVZeVDLe
— She is sure of what ? Asks Jessy who heard everything from the porch.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKRRrdo0zNI
— Oh, you're welcome, just something I asked him.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuvVYpYXDXS
Fortunately, he doesn't insist.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQqqUTQamR
We walk down the sidewalk in silence.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVznIRWPVbj
My neighborhood is a quiet place, where all the houses336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbmEPRIW5k
look alike with their little white fence surrounding the garden. Only the colors of the houses vary from one to another, sometimes white with blue shutters, sometimes brown with red shutters. Our family home is cream with green shutters. My father makes a point of maintaining it well, repainting it as soon as the paint shows signs of age, and mowing the lawn regularly. This corner of the city is not known for being the richest, but at least its inhabitants ensure that nothing can damage it. I love this quiet little town which seems to live as if in a cocoon where nothing serious ever happens and where the smallest event, like the arrival of Jessy, is experienced as big news. This thought pulls me out of my reverie and, turning back to my companion, I decide to question him.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ39nbhIDlcB
— Did you move here alone ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyLuqgQTRCT
This seems incongruous to me since he is only seventeen, but I never see him with anyone, not even in town.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt0DC7SixEX
— No, I live with my mother.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡISJcyyX89o
— And your father ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiQf6phLusq
— My father died when I was a kid.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmmdiMucKOT
— Sorry.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0hkeiiz4Xp
— It's nothing. My mother remarried and I have a little brother, Jason, who is now seven.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRYpSbHu6J0
— So your father in law and your brother live with you ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡljcAqUbLgM
Jessy grimace. 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF6uOHldESO
— No, they stayed in Allentown.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTVzCFilCti
— For what ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtXUW72XH5I
Jessy gives me a big smile while answering : 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH5dBBciYl7
— Joker ! 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ60daVdr56C
Preferring not to insist, I move on to other questions : 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡco7pAWSV3U
— Why did you leave Allentown ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOzoRKD2MOA
— Re joker ! 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ8Tbn4kiHO
— OK. I always see you alone... but you must have friends ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzh0M0IBEDF
— You know, I just arrived and I don’t know anyone yet, except you. In Allentown, I had friends, or so I thought, but..., he interrupts himself, purses his lips, shaking his head : 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡajhPzEZRf0
— I don't want to talk about it... Let's just say, sometimes you think you know people and you're wrong.
— Like me the other night...336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4pFEO9QXEH
Looking serious, he nods.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJmmXa1HeE
— So you’re from Allentown ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7sQ6FA73Nr
— Yes, I lived in a small neighborhood where everyone had known each other forever, a bit like this one. (He looks around.) Except that in town, we couldn't see the stars as well.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ678aQs9t0m
I follow his gaze, staring at the sky illuminated by hundreds of sparkling points that no cloud hides. I feel very small and fragile in the face of this immensity. It's strange to find myself next to this boy to whom I feel close and who, at the same time, intimidates me so much.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiqTgLgJIvO
— Your family loves Chad very much, he said suddenly, breaking this magical moment. How long have you been together ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqhZ8P5n8w8
I sit on the low wall bordering a house for sale.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgLGaYbOfG4
— My father was a big athlete in high school and I think he recognizes himself in Chad. My mother finds him cute and nice, and my sister is in love with him, I think ! (I smile.) He and I have known each other for a very long time, since kindergarten in fact…336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ71KM8KU0Xu
— And you’ve always loved him, Jessy adds, sitting down next to me.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL2Nf2ILT2s
I blush and lower my head.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0RyGhlPpYm
— It’s complicated… But let’s talk about you instead. Did you leave a girlfriend in Allentown ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvDDv3pCtRn
Jessy turns to me and raises his eyebrows, visibly surprised. I stare at him, both impatient and dreading his answer.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEaH9cI5NwD
— Your question is strange...
— Why ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhOy8irFrsV
— Because you're dating the perfect guy according to everyone around you, so I wonder what your questioning is hiding.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmbURVjDPpv
— It wasn’t you who told me that you shouldn’t necessarily listen to what others say ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb5omjFccPx
— Touché, he smiled. Let's say I had a girlfriend.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLMVd1vN3y
— You still have ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiyKBkcigzC
— Well no, we split up...336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIOXB22vCA5
I don't give him time to finish his sentence as my lips are already on his. Immediately, he kisses me back.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYwy2GoqxG4
His lips are soft and warm on mine, I feel him slide a hand to my waist, pulling me closer to him until, as suddenly as it began, he pushes me back forcefully before standing up abruptly. jump, visibly annoyed.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLl0YdAJ2Xt
— That’s not true ! Why did you do it ? He writes to himself while standing in front of me, hands on hips waiting for a response.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrlWQHsSles
— I don’t know, I said as sincerely as possible. Since I met you, I have felt lost. I don't know why but I feel like I've known you forever and this feeling totally upsets me. I was hoping you felt the same way I did.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZL8XQi9VwI
Far from calming down, Jessy walks away from me, walking as quickly as he can. I get up and run after him.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHgDXZuxGqe
— Jessy, wait ! What is happening ? Please don't tell me that kiss was that bad ! 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfxziwl6xKM
He doesn't stop though. I grab him by one arm, forcing him to stop his way.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ336uncSTWu
He glares at me.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvB6moAWYzv
— I'm sorry if... I shouldn't have kissed you, but I honestly thought you wanted to too.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUC6skMNc4i
— It is, he whispers, staring at me.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmVNQF96AJ1
— So where is the problem ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTI31PrXqLN
— I can not do that.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsaoqpgYEmf
— But why ? I know that compared to Chad it's a bad thing but...336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡejiwBAXOCJ
— It has nothing to do with him. The problem is me. I'm not made for love, he gets angry again. I gave too much, now that is forbidden to me.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAl0VEq3n5F
He frees himself from my hand before continuing on his way. Staying there, I say to him : 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0K76fg5bj3
— I don't understand ! You can't pretend to want to kiss me and then run away like that a second later. It's not me who made you suffer so why should I pay for what others made you endure ? I'm not your ex ! 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEHu4VApjkm
Abruptly, he stops his running, turns around before coming back towards me. His features are distorted by anger but I also read a form of pain there.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwpJ3hI6PP
— No, you are not the one who changed my life and I in no way wish to become the one who changes yours in the same way ! My life is ruined Meg, I'm already at the end. I'm going to die, he adds when he sees that I don't understand his words.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhIqbUnNRWm
— Wh... What ? I stammer, in shock.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJHX9lxgw8w
He gets closer. His face is only a few centimeters from mine.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLvr8E09Kd4
— Meg, I'm HIV positive. I have the AIDS virus, he admits quietly so that no one else can hear him, although the street is deserted. So stay away from me, believe me it's better ! 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvdL3Pe82ZC
He leaves as quickly as possible. Soon night envelops it completely. For a long moment, I stay there, dismayed, unable to make the slightest gesture, no longer knowing what to think. His words seem to spin in my head like a wild merry go round that no one can stop. I don't know how long I stand on that sidewalk looking in his direction long after he's gone.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAtaolYxAqU
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSXYa5byGVg
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMSUrQ5FkQx
When I get home, I try not to let anything show and lock myself in the kitchen. I thought I would be safe, but as soon as I closed the door, my mother opened it and stuck her head in.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdINcyC7NzX
— Are you okay, Meg ? You're very pale, aren't you sick ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyCgdZpSdEQ
— Everything is fine. I miss Nicolas, I would like to talk to him.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeZP0sn5sxp
Understanding the message, my mother nods and closes the door behind her. Immediately, I grab the phone and dial my brother’s number. Luckily he answers after two rings.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmTH4wkMPwx
— Hello ? he says, happily.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGdo8lioFCQ
— Nick, it’s me.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSKv3Sw3l3Z
I'm having a hard time keeping the tremors in my voice at bay.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPiFF44FlUL
— Meg, what’s going on ? He worries.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjcw0PI0ZWs
The day I met Jessy, I told my brother that same evening. He seemed happy that a boy other than Chad was messing with me. For some reason, Nick always grimaced at my relationship with Chad. 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKY8ciXa9yV
— Jessy came to the house for dinner this evening... 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj0Mnp3o7fY
— Oh, he sighs, he threw you away.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKOdnOxDBCQ
I think about the way I kissed him and feel myself blushing again. If I had known how he was going to push me away, I would never have let myself be carried away by my desire.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvXcIAIqvw9
— Yes, but that’s not the worst, I sob. Jessy admitted to me that she was sick.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGjr0pUVwf
Realizing the horror of the situation, I fall to the ground. I am not afraid of AIDS, I know that I risk nothing. But I am terrified for Jessy, for his future which is likely to be short. My brother doesn't speak, he gives me time to calm down. When my sobs dry up, I continue : 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnC4l97Aw7n
— Jessy is HIV positive, I blurt out in one breath.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5glAxTDcla
A gasp of surprise escapes my brother.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRu5FdgroIg
— Okay, he breathes, making me understand that he’s thinking about the situation. What are you going to do ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyD0ynSEBa8
— I don't know. Nick, I need to know your opinion.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbbSHUSyiqe
— I admit that I didn't expect that at all. Do you see yourself turning your back on him ? 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd0pT7ywp29
— I wouldn't be able to.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8qgrlCmFPE
— Meg, I know this probably isn't the kind of relationship you imagined, but based on what you've told me so far about this guy, I think right now he especially needs support and friendship. Don’t reject him because he doesn’t match your ideal.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi96FXsrzXu
— Exactly, he corresponds to my ideal and the fact that he is ill changes nothing. If I am devastated it is because AIDS is an incurable disease. I don't want him to die, Nick, I'm crying again.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0DW3yENWaw
I am aware that I have only known him for a short time but, without being able to explain it, he has already marked my existence.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLeGEfSeLAZ
— Come on, little sister, don’t cry. For now, Jessy is alive and, even if he keeps you at a distance, I'm sure he would be happy to have you in his life. Try to make him smile while he's here. He must need to think about something other than this crap.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ61yVfRaOoc
— You're right. Nick, what I confided to you must absolutely remain between us. No one should know.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY15tIHu9N6
— Finally you know me ! Come on now tell me how he dumped you ! He laughs as I bite my lip in shame.
