— No, I don't feel like it.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9AUIiDUqNd
— But yes, it will be fun.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsLqGu9cxb3
— What's the funny thing about going to school on a day when there's no class ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWCpGb0OsOQ
We have one of those discussions where I try to convince him to come out. This time, I set my sights on the Halloween party that the school organizes like every year on the evening of October 31st.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQWXSFxZ6S7
I thought about his question for a moment. How can I make him give in this time ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQGx6VDkJxb
— The classes will be emptied of their desks. There will be entertainment, sweets… a ball.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ47A0TsoYRM
He raises an eyebrow and makes me understand that this is not a given.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxd86QIRsuf
— Do you see me dancing ? ! 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUSUPD4GiO
I ignore his reply and continue mischievously : 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYsQQo2Lduk
— We will be disguised, and you can annoy everyone who criticizes you from behind. Why else do you think I would go ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIWEbIDBOM0
I can see by his expression that I have a point.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6aVZtd4Isb
— Hello, Megan.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwbsNMBhx7q
— Hello, Elise, are you well ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYoGVhUtPl1
I spend so much time with Jessy that I have become very close to Mrs. Sutter. She is always happy to see me at their place and invites me to come whenever I want. I feel a bit like home there.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzmQCuRflzV
— Where will you go in disguise ? Asks Elise who heard my last sentence.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbqwezF1yex
— At the high school Halloween party.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy9K9ZlbmUo
— Good idea ! 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrPtZUqYGQ9
With one look, Jessy glares at his mother. Mrs. Sutter places a laundry basket on the dining room table where we are and begins to fold the clothes. I grab a T-shirt and spread it on the table to help him.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBByC8l1UNC
— It will do you good to go out and have fun, you stay too cooped up here ruminating.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCzX1WrEdUs
— I like to be alone with my thoughts, Jessy defends, grabbing the T-shirt I’m holding in my hands.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zwd5QBxZP
— Luckily you're here, Meg, otherwise he'd never leave his room.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeWuTfvZZG1
I grab another piece of clothing and start folding it.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcDc0rH7W4v
— Mom, stop. It’s okay, you win, I’ll go to the damn party ! But Meg, please stop worrying about my clothes ! 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmghOoqUBWC
I look down at the item of clothing I'm holding : it's one of his boxers. I let go immediately, but I already feel my cheeks turning red. Jessy grabs it and hides it behind his back. His face is as red as mine.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDqtmdbudMM
— Sorry… I’m… so used to doing it… at home, I said, stuttering.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiQcQpBIdxv
Mrs. Sutter bursts out laughing as she watches us.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzWvAWLG5u3
— Mission accomplished, she comes to high five me.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKLkJ9uOW6I
— What are we going to disguise ourselves as ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKZ2rlcXPEM
— There's no way I'm going to wear a suit ! 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBdZICUKl1e
Jessy responds quickly, looking at us in turn.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwrqxEUiIcF
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZfdidzddne
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡulNK3lPr7m
The next week, we're in the main hallway of the school during break time, talking about the Halloween party. I keep trying to convince Jessy to dress up but he remains stubborn.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7rv25LNXa9
— I could see you as James Dean, I think out loud as I look at him.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlYMub6fVkx
— Is it because I'm going to die young like him ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpEkQKwSwVb
Immediately, I grimace.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf7pa1YtM2a
— Stop with that ! I was thinking of James because you are handsome and sexy like him but if you prefer to see the negative side...223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTyaqzMz9E0
— I was joking, he smiled. Beautiful and sexy, huh ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZhluEL7jj
I roll my eyes, smiling as my cheeks turn red. My words came out before I could hold them back. In Jessy's presence, I feel like I'm losing my composure. It is enough for him to stare at me with those beautiful green eyes for my mouth to respond without having the approval of my brain.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3TiqTkBT3H
— I’m dreaming where your cheeks are all red, he mocks, pointing to my face with his index finger.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu97SSwQ102
I give him a little tap on the arm which makes him burst out laughing. I love hearing this sound. I have seen him so angry, sullen, lonely, that when he laughs I am happy.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvSbA2lZYxZ
— At times, you remind me of my brother. You have the same dubious humor every…223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKUiKgCBQXn
I leave my sentence hanging as my smile freezes when I see Amy passing near us. She gives me an icy look and completely ignores Jessy.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlNbNITk6vv
— Why is Amy looking at you like that ? Jessy asks me.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeNFenRPf7a
I turn to him, trying to ignore my former friend. I don't want her to realize how much her attitude hurts and disappoints me.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjT4ifB47qm
— I don't know. Since I'm no longer with Chad, she doesn't speak to me anymore. To think that she was my best friend... As children, we were all together often : Chad, Amy and me. And today, I feel like I've lost a part of my past.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJy2vpxuls
— People change and evolve differently over the years. She'll come back to you one of these days.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSnFnXTIRnM
— You think ? I ask him, hoping he's telling the truth.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ49BaSnaWpr
— I'm sure. Who could give up a friend like you ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5HcyYI5GXn
— Yeah, a friend, I breathe with annoyance while scrutinizing him.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4mlJ2oPmq6
I would really like him to see me as something other than his friend.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI4aZDPOBIf
— And with Chad, where are you ? He questions casually.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWfgCdGT0H4
— Nowhere. We haven't spoken in several weeks. I turned the page on him. On the other hand, I continue by staring at him. There are three other boys who asked me on a date.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrnIcIFrzSt
Am I dreaming or has his expression suddenly changed ? He lowers his face, staring at the ground as if it holds all the answers in the universe.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmfEjwxGMCj
— Did you agree to go out with them ? He whispers in a strangled voice.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpxSOaXZUaG
— No, I refused. You're the only guy I want to spend time with at the moment.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2VGBMSAn5c
Suddenly, he lifts his face and smiles. I observe him carefully. Maybe he doesn't really see me as a friend after all. It’s enough to make me smile again.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwdkhh1JkR8
— You and Chad broke up shortly after I arrived in town, but there was one thing that struck me from the few times I saw you together.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNT2IuZxNhd
— Ah good ? What ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Z6pQb0CeJ
— The distance there was between you. I mean, you were never in each other's arms or making a move to touch each other.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQFdtDh74A
— Is that what you did with your exes ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6SKQjEzhev
I scrutinize him to read his reaction which does not take long : 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6aSIhxmBFU
— No, but I have never been in love.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6TEqMDd7Kq
— Maybe Chad didn’t like me that much, I shrug. Or that I'm not the type of girl that guys like to hug.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBZxfZu2rHU
— Oh yes, any man would be happy to be able to hold you against him, he says without a shadow of hesitation.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXHJCB2jr0e
So why don't you do it ? ! I want to ask him.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfKdM02Wmga
But suspecting that this would turn him on, I just stare at him and remain silent. However, I am happy with his admission, so I continue with a smile : 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPi5NAN51BY
— So for Halloween, what are we dressing up as ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQw6ySHCMkB
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ClTc9oQV3
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVkyT0BQuQc
On Friday evening, I found my parents in the living room while waiting for Jessy to arrive. I enter the room and turn around asking them : 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZrKDuemFZo
— Is my dress okay ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoE7HPbsOF8
— You are very chic, admire my father.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3blvf6FQCQ
For the occasion, I opted for a black Charleston— style dress, and my hairstyle is adorned with a white feather. It's not my favorite outfit, but Jessy only agreed to wear a very classy suit jacket.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQiYJ5ovKZ
— Megan, why do you have a mask in your hand ? Nina asks.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7qWGHIAyiL
— I'll put it on when I get to school. I promised Jessy that, under cover of anonymity, he could annoy the students who criticize him.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqt74iXNaf8
My mother laughs.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWcPvzQPkXT
— That’s definitely your idea ! 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7gr0s1o5b9
— It was one of the arguments to decide him to leave his house.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0LadfZFR07
— You two spend a lot of time together, my father comments seriously.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTO1BTrDq9x
— Yes, he’s great ! 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7h6HiqHuQK
— You know we love Jessy, but we're worried about you.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgbCbHH76d9
— We are just friends.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvDy7kf7ew7
— I'm not talking about that. Losing someone close to you is difficult.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡimZiIwvRhC
— I know. I know that one day he may no longer be here, but if that were to happen, I would have time to prepare for it. And he's my best friend, I can't stop seeing him, that wouldn't be fair to him or me.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeKPo7Jrvfy
— Are you sure it’s just friendship ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJzksX0GS5p
My father examines my face which immediately turns purple.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkFXjeWtxjy
— I preferred Chad, my sister objects, sulking.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5sL0g8icmQ
Without meaning to, Nina makes me smile again and distracts my father's attention. Admitting to myself that I'm in love with Jessy is one thing, dropping this bombshell in front of my father is another. I already know the moral lesson that would await me.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRfSbvHNCSK
— And I find this school rule stupid which stipulates that you have to be fifteen years old to be able to attend this evening. I would have liked to go there ! She says, crossing her arms over her chest.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxtKBWf6Y8b
— Then you should have asked Chad to invite you ! I said, provoking her.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWL25oVGmkA
In response, she taps her foot on the ground while the doorbell rings.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcsOKrOM9yr
— I go ! 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq8crI2yeyd
I rush to open the door to Jessy. And I literally stand there glued to the spot when I see him in his black suit with a white shirt, black tie and hat. In his hand he holds a white mask similar to mine. He exudes a particular charm that disturbs me even more than usual, which is saying something.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJ33xoqLgF
After a few seconds of examining each other, he leans towards me to hang a white rose on the strap of my dress.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhM6kHhKZfg
— How pretty you are, he whispered to me.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWt8N7kUJwe
His hands brush the skin of my shoulder and I feel myself melting. I take a deep breath to force myself to pull myself together.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuTijjI2B2U
— Isn't that okay ? He asks me, visibly worried.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQi8XzBtnhJ
I can't tell him the truth. He was very clear with me when I let myself kiss him. And even though he hasn't spoken to me about it again, I still feel a burning shame. Since then I have restrained my actions and am content to be the friend he needs so much.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡomcI1XHBZ5
— Yes, it's going very well. It’s just that it’s hot in the house and cold outside, the contrast struck me. Come on, just a minute, I'll get my coat.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡylQx0DAu2P
He nods and follows me to the living room where he politely greets my family as usual.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrK6zxBkOUL
— Wow, Jessy ! This costume suits you really well ! Launches my mother.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjqsQgouMTG
— Thank you, Mrs. Crawfords. Nina, I thought of you, I brought you a little thing to console you for not being able to come to the party.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3GIdpx26yC
He takes a rose similar to mine out of his pocket and hands it to my sister, who is speechless for a few seconds.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuGPFnbHQtZ
— Thank you, Jessy, she finally said. Then looking at us, she adds : I take back everything I said earlier, it’s Jessy, my favorite ! 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ICZuGHGrT
We burst out laughing.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7tsgFSEfvc
— Well done, Jessy, you managed to dethrone Chad ! My father is joking.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeZVoazTCO9
— It wasn’t won though, smiled the young man. — Here we go ? I ask him.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKRw18mmSU7
Jessy makes a hesitant face and answers me without much enthusiasm : 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnbbJnxTZgS
— I would have done without it, but since I have to… let’s go ! 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0lFHqax89O
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPGWXOr0zpS
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4nri1IZHBh
Two hours later, I see that Jessy is having a good evening. We took the route of anxiety : a walk in the middle of the corridors of the high school which, for the occasion, were decorated as a house of horror with skeletons suddenly appearing in front of us, vampires thirsty for blood who throw themselves on those who dare to approach them or even werewolves who run after us in the feigned hope of devouring us. There are many activities, but Jessy doesn't forget his little revenge either. When we pass a tall dark guy dressed as Dracula, whom my companion immediately recognizes as one of his persecutors, he puts on his mask, approaches slowly and manages to drop off without anyone, except me, noticing. has a large rubber tarantula on his shoulder. A moment later, we hear a scream echo through the classroom as the guy in question squirms in every direction to escape the spider. Jessy and I walk out of the room laughing until we cry.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhqoRxIGZY5
— I admit, he said to me shortly after in one of the corridors, when we caught our breath, that just for that, it was worth coming ! 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFzxRKwgnFt
— See, I told you we’d have fun ! 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfG6nfKRF5y
— You were right, thank you for forcing my hand. (He takes off his mask before staring at me.) Of all the people I know, you are always there for me, no matter what. For what ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtoUGCz9vWG
He is suddenly serious.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmdaeugtNbr
Can't you see that I'm in love with you, idiot ! 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLovr3xRmPH
I want to tell him, but I hold back.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRH7KFlO4xv
Instead, I answer him : 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9uvXmUrYuQ
— Why not ? You're my friend, right ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUfumZ8R7v7
He nods, and his green eyes shine with a strange light.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXC2auSroNp
— Oh, Jessy, come ! 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtewIvBTzZ9
Without waiting for a response, I grab him by the sleeve of his suit and force him to follow me into one of the classes that says : Come discover your future through cards.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIld0OdZwZV
For the occasion, the room, deliberately darkened, was divided into three parts by curtains, thus constituting cabins where clairvoyants sit. We approach one of them.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKD2PETJRUV
— Can we ? I said, pointing to the seats in front of her.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2VTCrmo6qg
— Of course, my children, come. Sit down.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlwRCTbgHJG
She is a small woman with brown hair, with a fairly fleshy build, who inspires confidence at first glance.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Hhi4VTRkp
— Who wants to start ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa7DfKxkau1
Jessy and I exchange a look.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH3Z9ZE7zGh
"Iron, Meg."223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgLJeqMO6BM
— OK, draw seven cards from the fan in front of you.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPYJ9RL0qmy
She turns the cards over one after the other, arranging them in a sort of large cross.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzK9uNJuquZ
— You are a nice girl, a little too serious at times, she said to me. You are always there for the people you love. This card, which designates the Empress, tells me that you are good at studies. I can assure you that you will go to university and study for a long time. A great job awaits you at the end.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtrCHCt2EWG
I'm happy, studies are very important to me.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmAyzNiwAAy
— This card, she continues, showing me the Lover, — tells me that you are hesitating between two boys. One has the key to your heart and the other relationship is more controlled by your reason, the first boy completely capsizes you, the second rather symbolizes security.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyv3XfYqERQ
I feel myself blushing from head to toe and, silently, I thank the heavens that the room is just lit by candles. Jessy and Chad ! Only I'm not in love with Chad and I'm banking on love... I feel Jessy's gaze weighing on me, but I don't dare respond.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAO0PdExGFb
— I can't tell you more, it will be up to you to choose between these two men, she places her hand on mine.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrVUDAZW6Em
— Thanks.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFTEzega9E4
— Your turn, young man, announces the woman, shuffling her cards before spreading them again on the table.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkyBLaxv9jS
As I did, Jessy takes out seven cards from the deck and turns them over as she goes.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRcNHNaCnAb
— You are a kind boy, very sensitive, who has suffered a lot, but you do everything to keep it from showing. You play tough to hide your heart of gold. You are gifted in studies, but this card, it points to the Moon, leads me to believe that you are especially gifted in the arts. The drawing ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9u6Btv79dB
— I painted a lot, but I stopped for a while.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4uzippdGyQ
— You should start again. You are an anxious boy, and this would calm you down.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3F0SLiqUPc
She turns over another card : the Hermit.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPwd83jcNWl
— This one tells me that you tend to run away from others. You like to be alone and, at the same time, you experience this solitude as if you were afraid of the world around you. Yet you are not alone... There is someone in your life that you love, but, for I don't know what reasons, you seem to be running away from this love that life offers you.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHfbLAMlGD7
I see Jessy growing nervous next to me as he stares intently at the cards.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV8FtgKX8fO
The clairvoyant turns over the penultimate card : the Nameless Arcana. Despite myself, I flinch.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjDbOhDG5zy
— Don't worry, the lady is reassuring, this card is scary with the skeleton reaping it represents, but it rarely means physical death. Above all, it is a sign of change in life. Your existence will be turned upside down, you will succeed in overcoming your fears to fully live your destiny.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLQ0eLqAb3h
She turns over the last card : the World.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe2RFyu5iFE
— In the coming months, you are going to be very happy young man, much more than you imagine, but for that, you must open your heart to accept the gift that is being given to you, said the clairvoyant, looking Jessie.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSssCvXf2y9
— Thank you, Madam, he stammers, visibly embarrassed.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoCfj6kwZWp
— One last thing : Concerning your health, just live day to day without worrying too much. Destiny is destiny, you cannot change what will happen.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfO9F07lnMS
Jessy nods, looking serious, even though my heart is pounding. Has she just confirmed his imminent death ? His words are enigmatic to me but not to223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHRVg9hPjDe
Jessy who gets up quickly and leaves the room, I follow suit.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHcQvsUZsZp
— Jessy, are you okay ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm3nb1iy0ox
— Yes, very good.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5KysQ6PPJc
— I'm sorry. It was a stupid idea to go see a psychic.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA5FoLV63Xx
He stops and turns to me.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQGnWxUzWmh
— Don't worry, she told us an ending that you and I already know.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhWrt81RA15
— It wasn't that clear to me.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFTecvAx3qZ
— Yes, but you are always overly optimistic while I…223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfqW49Qe8dd
— You are disarmingly pessimistic.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhJjnAe9cDJ
My reply makes Jessy laugh.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXA2tPDaMt2
— It's true. Between the two of us, we have the perfect balance.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVEDJupGsha
I smile in turn, thinking about how we complement each other perfectly.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8a8PUAOHC
— Seriously, are you sure you’re okay ? If you want, can we go back ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO0UUMwCjZp
— No, we're having fun. Come on, come on ! 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYcTueHFJjQ
He gives me a reassuring wink. For the first time, he takes my hand, which suddenly makes me feverish, and guides me towards the gymnasium which has been transformed into a ballroom. Black and orange garlands cascade from the ceiling, paper pumpkins have been installed on the tables where soft drinks are served. In the four corners of the room, plastic skeletons held by wires move like puppets. In the center of the room, students wiggle to the rhythm of a wild Rolling Stones song.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpEmvwm6Fsv
— You are thirsty ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzLwi3tbftu
I nod with a nod. Jessy leaves me to go get two cups. I look around the room. In a corner, I see Chad dressed as a vampire, and his friends. Apparently they are the ones responsible for leading the anxiety journey. Then a tall blonde girl comes and kisses him full on the mouth. Despite her Marilyn Monroe disguise, I recognized Amy immediately. That's why she's been running away from me since we broke up, she did everything to seduce him and it worked. Chad quickly forgot me and her, that traitor ! Jessy returns with the cups. I drink mine dry.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5wj3uRyvK8
— What do you have ? He asked in front of my furious face.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJAwCAMWSR
I nod and show him Chad and Amy.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq0fvpz7ObP
— Oops, is the only sound that comes out of his mouth.
Jessy looks over to the corner where Chad and Amy are watching us, seeming to be watching for my reaction.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE37N8NOtxm
— Come Dance.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwfZUY96u1t
He takes my hand again, which has the effect of calming me down immediately.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBND9zUmWQ7
— I thought you didn't dance ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhGJg1RarrV
— I never said that.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhm95wuWPGP
His smile completely melts me. I let myself be guided to the dance floor. The music starts with a soft song. Like every time I'm in contact with Jessy, my heart starts racing. Without thinking, I put my arms around his neck, while he places his hands on my waist. Soon my head is resting on his shoulder. I breathe in its sweet and intoxicating scent, a mixture of flower soaps and aftershave. I feel wonderful, everything is so natural with him. But he stops abruptly. His gaze is focused on a girl, small in stature, with bobbed red hair, who turns her back to us and is chatting with friends a few steps from us.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW7EC7pm68c
Jessy doesn't take his eyes off her as I feel his shoulders tense.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ66QTYkDtTF
— What is…223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtFROwXWMI
The girl turns around, revealing her face to us. Jessy takes a deep breath before turning his attention back to me.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyxUi1af7GS
— I need to get some fresh air, he tells me, white as a sheet.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtU8EZ1B9fs
We push through the crowd to the parking lot where he takes a deep breath. A cold wind rose, carrying with it the dead leaves from the trees to our feet.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAn4ZY2V0Lu
We lean against a car.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyqY4Fj3Zpy
— Why are you shaking ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoXbgDvoh11
I question him timidly.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVUsmfAL7VA
— I don't really want to talk about it.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4xlvz3Fnep
— But you are livid ! 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb4Q4GUSAFY
— I don't want to talk about it. Let's forget that, okay ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU2C9Xhqxlz
— Agree as you like.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGbb5K8RVPq
He raises a questioning eyebrow at my resolve. It's not like me to give up so quickly. Usually, I insist that he talks to me, but now, I'm afraid to know the truth.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf7oV2UTNB5
— Shall we go back ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOso6fnVODB
— Yeah, I think it's better after all that.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW1kb29GxCW
We set off. The high school is only a few blocks from our homes.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnmHJH9eZuk
— All that ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd45A47XAKe
— Between the clairvoyant, Chad and Amy…223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW6czVAGN4h
— And your latest conquest, I tell him, not being able to contain the feeling of jealousy that has invaded me since he saw this girl.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmNfX5k8x8t
Jessy turns to me.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKYGb7LCD31
— It's not what you think. I thought it was Haley... The girl who gave me AIDS.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJXaoJa4UgG
— Every time you talked to me about the virus, you told me you were handling it all. But after seeing your reaction tonight, I think you're handling things the wrong way. You didn't solve the problem with her. I think you should see her again, or at least talk to her.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTWCFk7xBhS
— I don't see how that would help me. You know, it was just an adventure, but one that I will regret for the rest of my life... — Think about it.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQ0QSvoCDJ
He nods silently.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNXa9o1mn1d
I don't add anything. It's his story, and only he knows whether he wants to look straight ahead after settling his scores, or stay immersed in a past that gnaws at him.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3IVOAQGi1j
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBOOpk21I16
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfY41apMf7a
The next day is Sunday; dressed in my coat, a scarf and my gloves, I leave my house, determined to face the morning cold which has suddenly fallen on the region.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8iam9I3IwX
A black car stops next to me.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ28gC8Hrq8T
— Hey, a familiar voice calls out to me.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡynrSdrqYxE
— Hi. Jessy, do you have a car ? ! 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA1yAC6LojN
— Eh yes ! I've been talking to my mom about it for a while, and this morning she came back with it. She was so happy to see me out of the house ! You come ? I'll take you.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxk7mLTs85
He starts and, quickly, I see that he is heading towards the highway ramp.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ceZkyIMOo
— Where are we going ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbjLjxMxb2R
— It's coming ! 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwX1Pfm7QaD
— At the cinema ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbLk4XSQv4N
— Non. 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwXfxrbpOoZ
— Take a walk in the forest ? No, that's not the road. So, maybe visit a museum ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxeXtqrSg3
— No. You'll see, it's a surprise, and he gives me a big, innocent smile.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYGrBPVpnS
— OK, anyway, wherever it is, I'm up for it.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgtADmowpQE
— Your parents won't be worried ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0vy3f0EDmY
— I told them I was going to see you. They suspect that I'm going to spend the day with you.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeYicI7HlSz
— And that's going to be the case, because we're not going very close. I don't think we'll be back until tonight.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzkvX997gza
Still want to come ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKLyeMwATKq
He gets onto the highway.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCblTlAFqEB
— Totally ! 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJqIhEn3lc8
— I want to show you Allentown. Today, we are going to walk in the footsteps of my past...223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeMxdz6M194
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsoPelckAJr
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWF1oAtUcPT
After driving for almost three hours, Jessy parks in a small suburban street that seems very nice. All the houses are undoubtedly owned by wealthy people.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGsfUujgtzd
— We have arrived, he declares, getting out of the car.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUbR4uEr3fZ
I'm happy that he trusts me enough to show me the places that mattered to him. I get out and look at the house we are parked in front of. It is a single storey white villa with a well kept lawn. Large bay windows let the sun shine through, and a solid oak door welcomes visitors via a small path which splits the lawn into two parts.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaEXyRQEkCN
— Is this where you lived ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVoeCxQspIk
Jessy has an enigmatic smile.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIllgk8exad
— No, it’s not my place. We're at Haley's.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡovCNb7PJY7
He gestures with his chin towards the beautiful house. I suddenly have a pit in my stomach.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLoNNVAFUFU
— What ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8DIu7bvURt
— I found her, it was very easy, actually. She told me her name and what neighborhood she lived in, a call to telephone information was enough.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF9IyatvdrF
He leans back in his car, staring at the house like he can see through the walls. Little by little, his enthusiasm seems to diminish. His face turns pale...223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXE3VP99KmD
Suddenly, Jessy comes around the car and announces to me : 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmNOUvoI7e9
— Come on, let’s go.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWOGUHVJ6Iz
I remain stunned.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtUyMKz7wYN
— Oh no, we didn’t come all this way to leave now. You need to go talk to him ! 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoBCkiKkEZR
He stares at me, his face frozen.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxo1Bgbu97
— I am scared.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEOB5MHnFG8
— I know, but if you don't go, you'll be left with everything that's on your heart for a long time to come. You need to move forward Jessy, you can't stay stuck with all these emotions.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlecltitysw
He nods and, taking a deep breath, heads towards the house. I see him approaching the door, taking the small gravel path. I'm afraid for him. It rings and only waits a few seconds before the door opens. Jessy enters. I'm not really thrilled that he's seeing one of his ex girlfriends again. What if he fell back into her arms ? This scares me as much as imagining him screaming horrors at him.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaV3dbxxeNG
After all, she is HIV positive, he could perfectly well have a real relationship with her. Not just a friendship like with me. Now I'm almost wishing I was sick, my God, I'm really going crazy ! 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkPl7qdWdaP
During his absence, I also wonder about his behavior. Just the day before, when we talked about the clairvoyant's words, he repeated to me that he had nothing to offer a woman who, in any case, would quickly tire of only being able to kiss him. I managed to tell him that some relationships go beyond that. But he remained firm in his positions. Lost in my thoughts, I don't see him coming back. I jump when he opens the driver's side door and slides behind the wheel. I see right away that it's not going well. He is even paler than when he went to ring the bell, and his hands are clinging to the steering wheel as if his life depended on it. His whole body is shaking. I feel him at the end of his nerves even though he tries to control himself. I ask him half— heartedly : 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaRTtqud3sn
— Did it go wrong ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu0FfedCArJ
— It was his mother who opened the door to me...223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwiq4xvrfE
His face expresses such hatred that I immediately think of the evening on the bridge when he was hanging above the void, screaming. I would bet that at this very moment, he would let himself fall under the wheels of vehicles rather than live another minute on this Earth. He struggles to speak, but I don't do anything to rush him.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhvMiTpJvhI
— Haley died five months ago.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHDEtsqH3lX
I immediately understand the dark thoughts going through his head at that precise moment.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzaX3zf7Unj
— Is that all his mother told you ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ4uR81HIAR
— Oh no, he gets angry. She told me she is sorry that her child infected me ! She also gave me a letter that Haley wrote to me before she died. We're getting out of here ! 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgTJEkLsgdE
He starts off with a bang and rushes through the streets which, apparently, hold no secrets for him.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZHHIFNh5N
— Jessy, please slow down a little, you’re scaring me.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡccAiGsOCmd
He doesn't respond, but I notice that he raises his foot. He drives like this for several minutes, in silence. We enter downtown Allentown. He takes the main artery then branches off several times before stopping abruptly in a small street. On either side, tall buildings block out most of the daylight. Along the buildings with their gray walls, rusty iron fire escapes make the place even more sinister.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbWtb20c12
Jessy gets out of the car and slams the door. I'm. I am so afraid that he will try to end his life. He walks to the center of the street, where metal garbage containers are piled up, and hits them with all his might several times.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUtgEo9XRgj
— Jessy, please calm down, I’m begging you.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6upxIeoxl2
— For what ? Can you tell me what all this is for ? What's the point of living ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiqOuzn6Jhh
— Stopped. (I place myself between him and the trash can on which he pours all his anger.) You are alive ! You hear me ? Are you still alive ! And by the time the disease breaks out, perhaps doctors will have found a treatment. But the force you put into hitting this container, you have to put into fighting yourself.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv0kR9rflvv
— But why ? What is keeping me on this planet ? Don't you understand that I'm going to end up like Haley ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡliOZvNngne
He pushes me away with one arm before knocking again.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWqZoxNwCDx
Soon his fist is bloody.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsfhYjKtIPg
— But why are you hitting this trash can ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFU2fJLb14b
— Because I'm angry, and even then, angry is an understatement for what I feel.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡks3AAqaZGF
— For what ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6hc4iXj8Qy
He, usually so secretive, finally decides to confide in me while now kicking the poor trash can.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXNcKP5zOUP
— This is the place where my life changed, he said to me, out of breath.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVJpt230Abt
He stops knocking and points to a spot near the right wall, a little further away.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIs2o8NZaCz
— Do you see there ? This is the place where my father, my real father, died. He was killed by a local gang who wanted to steal his money, they dragged him here before shooting him. When I was little, I was terrified of losing my parents. I don’t know where this anxiety came from, it was unreasonable, it woke me up at night. My father reassured me, constantly telling me that he would always be there to protect me, and when I was five, suddenly, he was no longer there. He let me down. He didn't protect me ! Things would have been very different if he were still here. And now Haley is gone ! And it pisses me off because, even if it’s wrong, I would have liked to scream at him with all the rage I have in my heart ! And all I have instead is this damn letter ! 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXV03s11BtP
He takes the missive out of his coat pocket and shakes it in the air, as if he wants to get rid of it but is unable to.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILxqr3qhhD
— I understand that well ! But when you calm down, you will want to know what she had to say to you. Your father didn't get to say goodbye to you, Haley did it through these words in this envelope.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsSDrRAaGau
My voice is choked with sadness. Jessy looks at me, searching in my eyes for the reason for my sudden emotion.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIBWAgwgZYP
— You’re right, he whispers, looking at the letter still in his hand. I must not condemn her, she was not the only one responsible for what happened that evening, he said more calmly.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNSxTOpDzjI
— It's true. She didn't know she was sick at the time. But on the other hand, I can't help but feel relieved that you didn't see her again. I know, it’s awful to think that ! 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHWal6h5ZZj
I turn away, I don't dare look at him anymore. I just told him about the fear that filled me the first time he mentioned Haley. Even though she infected him, he had a history with her, he was closer to her than he will ever be to me, and it breaks my heart to admit that.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY6nqAjPY5A
Jessy stands in front of me and examines my face.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ivuScbUhj
— Why do you feel relieved ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIHxBq6Wn47
There is no longer any trace of anger in his voice, just curiosity.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxLjOJh8u2P
— For nothing, forget it.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL3aeiCcgCI
— Yes, tell me, he breathes softly. I hesitate, watching his piercing gaze.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJOwv62Kkz
— Because I was afraid you would get back together with her.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7bK8iZdu9X
He looks at me, incredulous.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhfyxiyfpVr
— I know..., I continue but I quickly interrupt myself, no longer knowing how to continue without admitting my feelings.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtk0kbzTMA9
Jessy stares at me for a moment that seems to last forever.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjroDugL1p
— When you were with Chad, I said to myself : "Nothing will ever happen between us while he can do anything for her. "223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIgzeYI5Fph
I remain in shock, did he just tell me that he is dying to be with me or was I dreaming ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡudz5xVsKZk
— I'm not going back with Chad.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPrKDT3k4km
— It's true ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0vEeTLXBwO
I nod, grabbing the lapel of his coat.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr048ORLoEP
— Chad has never been an obstacle between us. He's not the one I want to be with.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdff586jhcQ
He wipes his forehead where beads of sweat appear and looks at his damaged hand.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOG4z56zon5
— Actually, I mainly thought that it would scare you to be with me.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXnkirMca6
— Maybe you should have asked me ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡioLppFKqgP
I fiddle with a button on his coat.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZjCSQ6sE6r
— It's true.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv0E3inp02r
He purses his lips and says : 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnHeg0nTXvd
— Do you want to go out with me ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM65y2QgzBW
Finally you decide ! I smile. Of course I want to be with you, that’s all I’ve thought about since we met.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8xhDmdFbPS
Jessy gives me a big smile.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRuK9QU8tl9
— I don't know how long I'll stay alive.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡehcmL1OUJa
— We'll see. We're going to make every day count.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmWnoBJDZLT
— And with Chad, is it definitely over ? Are you sure ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvjO0V8OEdm
— Jessy, Chad and I broke up because you came into my life and offered another horizon to my future. When I met you, I realized I never really loved him. He's just a friend. That’s the real reason… At least for me.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhru17CuqGn
I hand him some tissues which he wraps around his scratched hand, which has already stopped bleeding. Then he puts his arm around my shoulders, kisses my forehead and leads me towards the car, putting the letter in his coat pocket.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEICL2wIEDy
— I suspected that I was somewhat responsible for this story, he said, winking at me.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuzG5MHnCFB
Suddenly, he hands me the car keys.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHWQyPqXGkz
— I don't feel like driving after all this, would you like it ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwB5Xg8hfPJ
Too happy to be able to get behind the wheel, I eagerly grab the keys.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXqL7cqkzlj
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUHzmnb69S
223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ75qBBkCBEB
We enter Millisky, the town is deserted at this hour, only the street lights give a semblance of life to the streets. I glance at Jessy, lost in thought. Suddenly, instead of heading towards his house, I change direction and head towards the hill. I can't let him go home like this. Having reached the top, I stop the car. Jessy snaps out of his thoughts and looks around, surprised. He doesn't know this corner of the city where I myself rarely go.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHPFCyw0P1o
— Where are we ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC3C8JtsXEa
— Come with me.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZAZx0lkszk
We are on a small dirt road bordered by a security fence. Tall grass protrudes from the slope overlooking the town. Jessy joins me in front of the car, I take his hand and lead him past one of the sumptuous mansions, which offers a perfect view of the sleeping city.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEcfSLuGRma
— I know you’re not in good spirits and I understand perfectly why, I assure him. I also know that you're waiting until you're alone to read Haley's letter. But I'm not going to let you do it, I don't want you to be upset, alone, in your corner while I'm worrying about you. Please, Jessy, do this for me. I'm not asking you to read it, I just want you to read it in my presence because whatever you think about it, you're going to need support afterwards and I want to be the one to hug you to make sure that everything will be alright.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vELzwPNIp
With tears in his eyes, he nods.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGCrxWFl0tA
I move a few steps away to give him his privacy. He takes out the envelope, hesitates for a few seconds then opens it. From the first words he reads, I perceive the change in his expression, he seems to be decomposing. Quickly, I see tears rolling down his cheeks while I hold myself back from going to join him because I feel so bad for him. A few seconds later, he stops reading, leans over to lean on the safety barrier as a loud sob escapes him. I can no longer resist and will hug him. My arms are around his neck, my face on his shoulder.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVA1vpG4VjF
I'm here, Jessy, I'm here, I whisper in his ear.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt4KdC8DV7y
He stands up, turns around and hugs me as if I were the only thing holding him back on earth.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2bQFcMls0C
— Here, he said, handing me the letter.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1cyhlLD07z
— No, it’s meant for you.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR4wXamrdFB
— I don't want to hide anything from you about Haley, not after what you admitted to me earlier.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw4zLTeZ7wg
Although it bothers me, I grab the paper.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNPf4FvpNlS
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Jessy, 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdakMVzpXph
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If you are reading this it is because I will no longer be here to speak to you in person. It’s also that you are looking for answers to your questions, explanations. I will try to answer it.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXahBuIw9Yd
First of all, I wanted to tell you that I am deeply sorry for having infected you. If I had known that I was carrying this virus, I would never have hit on you that evening. As I told you during that famous evening, I wasn't looking for anything serious, yet when I saw you, I liked you straight away. If I left so quickly once we slept together, it was because I could have had feelings for you and coming out of a difficult relationship, I didn't want that.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJT8HX9qIH
If you are wondering how I became HIV positive, it was precisely this ex that I had such a hard time forgetting who infected me after cheating on me. He didn't know he was sick either.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ERSgmhD0l
As I write these words to you, I am in the hospital. I don't think I'll get through it. I'm not telling you this to inspire pity, but to tell you that I pray that you never experience the same thing. I sincerely hope that medicine finds a cure before the virus manifests itself. In no case did I want to condemn you to live in this hell, neither you nor the two other boys whom I also infected.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBUTfzruqp0
I'm going to leave consumed with guilt. I pray that God forgives me, that you will be able to forgive me one day.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4H4EKNJsUO
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Haley 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcd9DUHZGYC
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These words upset me because they seem so sincere to me. I turn to Jessy who has wiped his eyes but still seems disturbed.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXaepYBCHzX
— How are you feeling ? I ask him.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpOmEjlXnjV
— Sad and relieved at the same time. In fact, I feel like life will never give me any gifts and that every one of my hopes will be disappointed.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxgpPGZ5hr
— You are wrong, Jessy. You see that ? I point to Millisky lit up in front of us. This is your life today. It is no longer a dark alley in Allentown, nor even a state of the art residence in which many misfortunes hide. No, your life is here now. As for your future, I don't know what it will be like, just as I don't know my future, but there is one thing I am certain of : I will be with you.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyBSEaruHku
He leans towards me, I kiss him full on the mouth. This time he kisses me back forcefully. His body presses against mine, making me shiver. From my lips, he lets his mouth slide slowly down to my neck. I savor this kiss, this desire that pushes me to want him ever closer to me. Then he takes my mouth again with a mixture of tenderness and eagerness. With the tip of his tongue, he parts my lips, his tongue caresses mine while he sucks in my breath. No boy, no even Chad has never kissed me like that. I feel faint in his arms, my legs have difficulty supporting me. He moves slightly away from me, staring at me. I can read in his eyes that I won this first battle, he regained faith in life, in my love for him. For the first time since I've known him, he's happy.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfBJly10sKK
Behind us, in the house, the group Divinyls can be heard with their songI’m on your side. 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJtrpmq5nH
— Miss Crawfords, will you give me this dance ? 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUh6fYYC6ww
He holds out his hand to me. 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ38xh2a5kvw
— With pleasure.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrHLQxNnPM
« I’m on your side 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyioOvovjkG
You know I’m not the enemy. » 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXgycNZioah
It's not hot tonight, but sheltered in Jessy's arms, I'm not cold.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ96Sfqnv8YC
« I love you, babe » rises in the silence of the night.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkEzRxrvoaZ
Jessy moves back a few inches and looks at me with a mischievous smile.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡadBVGXAHLN
— So in the end, who won ? The heart or the reason ? He asks me, quoting the words of the clairvoyant.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3UHF3RFjV7
– You are the heart, you always have been, I answer him forcefully.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Gc5kJV6eW
« I’ll hold on to you. » 223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡskX1YQCnCX
This is how, snuggled in each other’s arms, the music rocks us.223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvjdE3M81V
« I love you babe, I love you babe, I’m on your side. »223Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFMoWEOEAo
