— No, I don't feel like it.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXiPceGo3X8
— But yes, it will be fun.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGP3CStFJw
— What's the funny thing about going to school on a day when there's no class ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZNWSdShhF0
We have one of those discussions where I try to convince him to come out. This time, I set my sights on the Halloween party that the school organizes like every year on the evening of October 31st.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc0ekjuEjoU
I thought about his question for a moment. How can I make him give in this time ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡydUmBGaxUx
— The classes will be emptied of their desks. There will be entertainment, sweets… a ball.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWwoGv7W3Hn
He raises an eyebrow and makes me understand that this is not a given.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqKWEL2GZQH
— Do you see me dancing ? ! 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUxpsfH8ICX
I ignore his reply and continue mischievously : 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlWsZOru1Qm
— We will be disguised, and you can annoy everyone who criticizes you from behind. Why else do you think I would go ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgKD1PSn1z
I can see by his expression that I have a point.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbSJT3CNl94
— Hello, Megan.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUon0OVG6gv
— Hello, Elise, are you well ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOVOXtFrBLT
I spend so much time with Jessy that I have become very close to Mrs. Sutter. She is always happy to see me at their place and invites me to come whenever I want. I feel a bit like home there.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZJbms2VkC
— Where will you go in disguise ? Asks Elise who heard my last sentence.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmbxQj29jf
— At the high school Halloween party.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpyBC1dqQSq
— Good idea ! 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkdSHsf6re3
With one look, Jessy glares at his mother. Mrs. Sutter places a laundry basket on the dining room table where we are and begins to fold the clothes. I grab a T-shirt and spread it on the table to help him.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfTD3TdRbmd
— It will do you good to go out and have fun, you stay too cooped up here ruminating.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6dhPl2LQWm
— I like to be alone with my thoughts, Jessy defends, grabbing the T-shirt I’m holding in my hands.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZl2XTJ6Lzl
— Luckily you're here, Meg, otherwise he'd never leave his room.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBF8AOtNQVy
I grab another piece of clothing and start folding it.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvFWcrBjvxK
— Mom, stop. It’s okay, you win, I’ll go to the damn party ! But Meg, please stop worrying about my clothes ! 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpUTzdr3f0A
I look down at the item of clothing I'm holding : it's one of his boxers. I let go immediately, but I already feel my cheeks turning red. Jessy grabs it and hides it behind his back. His face is as red as mine.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4Eqae9vMI
— Sorry… I’m… so used to doing it… at home, I said, stuttering.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4WinpirxRf
Mrs. Sutter bursts out laughing as she watches us.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡke3h3vBQyo
— Mission accomplished, she comes to high five me.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMKTVUeJ6y1
— What are we going to disguise ourselves as ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAdTcSwGhvb
— There's no way I'm going to wear a suit ! 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtoHdw9qnQi
Jessy responds quickly, looking at us in turn.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5pxsNQz4jN
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The next week, we're in the main hallway of the school during break time, talking about the Halloween party. I keep trying to convince Jessy to dress up but he remains stubborn.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGi796NEY86
— I could see you as James Dean, I think out loud as I look at him.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡENJyLlABZF
— Is it because I'm going to die young like him ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrZSQlW2LoY
Immediately, I grimace.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4y39gaCba4
— Stop with that ! I was thinking of James because you are handsome and sexy like him but if you prefer to see the negative side...261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxwcMmFi4fL
— I was joking, he smiled. Beautiful and sexy, huh ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtbwpkjzoqq
I roll my eyes, smiling as my cheeks turn red. My words came out before I could hold them back. In Jessy's presence, I feel like I'm losing my composure. It is enough for him to stare at me with those beautiful green eyes for my mouth to respond without having the approval of my brain.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2yfL3s8PO
— I’m dreaming where your cheeks are all red, he mocks, pointing to my face with his index finger.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxWtncaeoH6
I give him a little tap on the arm which makes him burst out laughing. I love hearing this sound. I have seen him so angry, sullen, lonely, that when he laughs I am happy.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGR6z3fDcRl
— At times, you remind me of my brother. You have the same dubious humor every…261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt3lSrA2Xf6
I leave my sentence hanging as my smile freezes when I see Amy passing near us. She gives me an icy look and completely ignores Jessy.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2kW2vbFtbh
— Why is Amy looking at you like that ? Jessy asks me.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXIHExw3jqE
I turn to him, trying to ignore my former friend. I don't want her to realize how much her attitude hurts and disappoints me.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1iOZFozosM
— I don't know. Since I'm no longer with Chad, she doesn't speak to me anymore. To think that she was my best friend... As children, we were all together often : Chad, Amy and me. And today, I feel like I've lost a part of my past.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ2R18zMPye
— People change and evolve differently over the years. She'll come back to you one of these days.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYXYqi054j
— You think ? I ask him, hoping he's telling the truth.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXdu6Skj4yC
— I'm sure. Who could give up a friend like you ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW8tO0Zx1XS
— Yeah, a friend, I breathe with annoyance while scrutinizing him.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKYUof7u8K5
I would really like him to see me as something other than his friend.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡveyYzPP5uL
— And with Chad, where are you ? He questions casually.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEYOQdV9rwl
— Nowhere. We haven't spoken in several weeks. I turned the page on him. On the other hand, I continue by staring at him. There are three other boys who asked me on a date.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyCNCpFFvde
Am I dreaming or has his expression suddenly changed ? He lowers his face, staring at the ground as if it holds all the answers in the universe.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7HEzr1ZsmE
— Did you agree to go out with them ? He whispers in a strangled voice.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlyNMfCc0j0
— No, I refused. You're the only guy I want to spend time with at the moment.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYlBCBXg1nj
Suddenly, he lifts his face and smiles. I observe him carefully. Maybe he doesn't really see me as a friend after all. It’s enough to make me smile again.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpouhpP52Hw
— You and Chad broke up shortly after I arrived in town, but there was one thing that struck me from the few times I saw you together.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7s9RjW1OSq
— Ah good ? What ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL4tGFQx8yc
— The distance there was between you. I mean, you were never in each other's arms or making a move to touch each other.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIj66p53Jml
— Is that what you did with your exes ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH1TpbeVgQG
I scrutinize him to read his reaction which does not take long : 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgg5lSyYB6u
— No, but I have never been in love.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3esjxG1rZm
— Maybe Chad didn’t like me that much, I shrug. Or that I'm not the type of girl that guys like to hug.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdroqJ4R5Gl
— Oh yes, any man would be happy to be able to hold you against him, he says without a shadow of hesitation.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkrYTwRUtPB
So why don't you do it ? ! I want to ask him.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqMLH8S8zTl
But suspecting that this would turn him on, I just stare at him and remain silent. However, I am happy with his admission, so I continue with a smile : 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzioTzF0wjH
— So for Halloween, what are we dressing up as ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzxSuhdH64F
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQj2eVPRsgf
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On Friday evening, I found my parents in the living room while waiting for Jessy to arrive. I enter the room and turn around asking them : 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXsNWNbiHLY
— Is my dress okay ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUYOzO3Cj5m
— You are very chic, admire my father.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZTcjhMORE
For the occasion, I opted for a black Charleston— style dress, and my hairstyle is adorned with a white feather. It's not my favorite outfit, but Jessy only agreed to wear a very classy suit jacket.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk0hoRWKXZG
— Megan, why do you have a mask in your hand ? Nina asks.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnoRqyT5Btn
— I'll put it on when I get to school. I promised Jessy that, under cover of anonymity, he could annoy the students who criticize him.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaPQFFjMkzN
My mother laughs.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4LelGB6lW3
— That’s definitely your idea ! 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZJP9u5FQMK
— It was one of the arguments to decide him to leave his house.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9lr9SpCJhd
— You two spend a lot of time together, my father comments seriously.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4JkLSrgkMt
— Yes, he’s great ! 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQGZWL1MbwQ
— You know we love Jessy, but we're worried about you.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwiqGo2EDmn
— We are just friends.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqNQijnwc7B
— I'm not talking about that. Losing someone close to you is difficult.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnw8npf6s5t
— I know. I know that one day he may no longer be here, but if that were to happen, I would have time to prepare for it. And he's my best friend, I can't stop seeing him, that wouldn't be fair to him or me.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3QqbG7MAqu
— Are you sure it’s just friendship ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeCU0bUUJSc
My father examines my face which immediately turns purple.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxNNd4y9J8Y
— I preferred Chad, my sister objects, sulking.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNu2PyaNN5j
Without meaning to, Nina makes me smile again and distracts my father's attention. Admitting to myself that I'm in love with Jessy is one thing, dropping this bombshell in front of my father is another. I already know the moral lesson that would await me.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyffi9fmXnj
— And I find this school rule stupid which stipulates that you have to be fifteen years old to be able to attend this evening. I would have liked to go there ! She says, crossing her arms over her chest.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxrVcIvtKvJ
— Then you should have asked Chad to invite you ! I said, provoking her.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNB5dWWLTBb
In response, she taps her foot on the ground while the doorbell rings.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH8gC8HFJKl
— I go ! 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡacIK7YbGWW
I rush to open the door to Jessy. And I literally stand there glued to the spot when I see him in his black suit with a white shirt, black tie and hat. In his hand he holds a white mask similar to mine. He exudes a particular charm that disturbs me even more than usual, which is saying something.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmF8X3zElyb
After a few seconds of examining each other, he leans towards me to hang a white rose on the strap of my dress.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAExmcnNpKW
— How pretty you are, he whispered to me.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv8NUjctfS7
His hands brush the skin of my shoulder and I feel myself melting. I take a deep breath to force myself to pull myself together.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjbzLJgKnx
— Isn't that okay ? He asks me, visibly worried.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡam5Ilgn54y
I can't tell him the truth. He was very clear with me when I let myself kiss him. And even though he hasn't spoken to me about it again, I still feel a burning shame. Since then I have restrained my actions and am content to be the friend he needs so much.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzvm22y6G9P
— Yes, it's going very well. It’s just that it’s hot in the house and cold outside, the contrast struck me. Come on, just a minute, I'll get my coat.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx1gnSryb5G
He nods and follows me to the living room where he politely greets my family as usual.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdVkFM71Yui
— Wow, Jessy ! This costume suits you really well ! Launches my mother.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCTebX35sMJ
— Thank you, Mrs. Crawfords. Nina, I thought of you, I brought you a little thing to console you for not being able to come to the party.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLlBjBmNNzD
He takes a rose similar to mine out of his pocket and hands it to my sister, who is speechless for a few seconds.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrcbPsfEESC
— Thank you, Jessy, she finally said. Then looking at us, she adds : I take back everything I said earlier, it’s Jessy, my favorite ! 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vxOJHNNOJ
We burst out laughing.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZen8vQda3c
— Well done, Jessy, you managed to dethrone Chad ! My father is joking.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGh33sWwpqZ
— It wasn’t won though, smiled the young man. — Here we go ? I ask him.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡekASS0Y20B
Jessy makes a hesitant face and answers me without much enthusiasm : 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM4CyYGvDfj
— I would have done without it, but since I have to… let’s go ! 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡezjfFSFqYT
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Two hours later, I see that Jessy is having a good evening. We took the route of anxiety : a walk in the middle of the corridors of the high school which, for the occasion, were decorated as a house of horror with skeletons suddenly appearing in front of us, vampires thirsty for blood who throw themselves on those who dare to approach them or even werewolves who run after us in the feigned hope of devouring us. There are many activities, but Jessy doesn't forget his little revenge either. When we pass a tall dark guy dressed as Dracula, whom my companion immediately recognizes as one of his persecutors, he puts on his mask, approaches slowly and manages to drop off without anyone, except me, noticing. has a large rubber tarantula on his shoulder. A moment later, we hear a scream echo through the classroom as the guy in question squirms in every direction to escape the spider. Jessy and I walk out of the room laughing until we cry.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNxQ9ysQQz
— I admit, he said to me shortly after in one of the corridors, when we caught our breath, that just for that, it was worth coming ! 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNAxjYx1kbs
— See, I told you we’d have fun ! 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU0SpYdlSf4
— You were right, thank you for forcing my hand. (He takes off his mask before staring at me.) Of all the people I know, you are always there for me, no matter what. For what ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIfHevXcB7v
He is suddenly serious.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVxQJiAeY4a
Can't you see that I'm in love with you, idiot ! 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAb8tmBapZx
I want to tell him, but I hold back.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuPkMTu215g
Instead, I answer him : 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡShXMs3avfX
— Why not ? You're my friend, right ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVNgkc5Dr5q
He nods, and his green eyes shine with a strange light.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOgI8lHdMWk
— Oh, Jessy, come ! 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRI4Yr2TYUI
Without waiting for a response, I grab him by the sleeve of his suit and force him to follow me into one of the classes that says : Come discover your future through cards.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVKvMiCPa0t
For the occasion, the room, deliberately darkened, was divided into three parts by curtains, thus constituting cabins where clairvoyants sit. We approach one of them.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSacuYoDLIe
— Can we ? I said, pointing to the seats in front of her.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv0gglExsDf
— Of course, my children, come. Sit down.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGyaQxyaG6g
She is a small woman with brown hair, with a fairly fleshy build, who inspires confidence at first glance.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡStCrc9V5TA
— Who wants to start ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjTWpE5hs3k
Jessy and I exchange a look.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtouL0fcVKY
"Iron, Meg."261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtrJEqsbAxV
— OK, draw seven cards from the fan in front of you.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡywIrHSKjgF
She turns the cards over one after the other, arranging them in a sort of large cross.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuCkZRsNjzt
— You are a nice girl, a little too serious at times, she said to me. You are always there for the people you love. This card, which designates the Empress, tells me that you are good at studies. I can assure you that you will go to university and study for a long time. A great job awaits you at the end.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfTUWBgV1Bv
I'm happy, studies are very important to me.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWt39TV1fJU
— This card, she continues, showing me the Lover, — tells me that you are hesitating between two boys. One has the key to your heart and the other relationship is more controlled by your reason, the first boy completely capsizes you, the second rather symbolizes security.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA5T4pCrZ41
I feel myself blushing from head to toe and, silently, I thank the heavens that the room is just lit by candles. Jessy and Chad ! Only I'm not in love with Chad and I'm banking on love... I feel Jessy's gaze weighing on me, but I don't dare respond.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh5hsFg1XBi
— I can't tell you more, it will be up to you to choose between these two men, she places her hand on mine.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ019A4cTPC7
— Thanks.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoMJNsyTQwK
— Your turn, young man, announces the woman, shuffling her cards before spreading them again on the table.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUAeNFe1JdS
As I did, Jessy takes out seven cards from the deck and turns them over as she goes.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD12oMeLxK0
— You are a kind boy, very sensitive, who has suffered a lot, but you do everything to keep it from showing. You play tough to hide your heart of gold. You are gifted in studies, but this card, it points to the Moon, leads me to believe that you are especially gifted in the arts. The drawing ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkd5LxJwHvB
— I painted a lot, but I stopped for a while.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeYqWAIsjZV
— You should start again. You are an anxious boy, and this would calm you down.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLIp4gjqyAT
She turns over another card : the Hermit.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH71CRl9yhv
— This one tells me that you tend to run away from others. You like to be alone and, at the same time, you experience this solitude as if you were afraid of the world around you. Yet you are not alone... There is someone in your life that you love, but, for I don't know what reasons, you seem to be running away from this love that life offers you.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡatEmhHu6fS
I see Jessy growing nervous next to me as he stares intently at the cards.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiEcKJMPDsL
The clairvoyant turns over the penultimate card : the Nameless Arcana. Despite myself, I flinch.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbn41WH5qVM
— Don't worry, the lady is reassuring, this card is scary with the skeleton reaping it represents, but it rarely means physical death. Above all, it is a sign of change in life. Your existence will be turned upside down, you will succeed in overcoming your fears to fully live your destiny.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHWooMUsAov
She turns over the last card : the World.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt58X8SH3CT
— In the coming months, you are going to be very happy young man, much more than you imagine, but for that, you must open your heart to accept the gift that is being given to you, said the clairvoyant, looking Jessie.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfHbgpvtkpU
— Thank you, Madam, he stammers, visibly embarrassed.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL5T1ZOz3HT
— One last thing : Concerning your health, just live day to day without worrying too much. Destiny is destiny, you cannot change what will happen.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdvpBaB4SRQ
Jessy nods, looking serious, even though my heart is pounding. Has she just confirmed his imminent death ? His words are enigmatic to me but not to261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR1V2hwRyEH
Jessy who gets up quickly and leaves the room, I follow suit.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfuuQNTvIVg
— Jessy, are you okay ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ycw0ynXQW
— Yes, very good.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ118aXDaZei
— I'm sorry. It was a stupid idea to go see a psychic.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyfKZB0TQXr
He stops and turns to me.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV8ePoH7XnT
— Don't worry, she told us an ending that you and I already know.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVXqWWignQC
— It wasn't that clear to me.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡePqEfi0ZLN
— Yes, but you are always overly optimistic while I…261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwX1t8vipUJ
— You are disarmingly pessimistic.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0BVr30Z9My
My reply makes Jessy laugh.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7QtWbHYxLE
— It's true. Between the two of us, we have the perfect balance.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4qidzGYqa8
I smile in turn, thinking about how we complement each other perfectly.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAr5svoteW
— Seriously, are you sure you’re okay ? If you want, can we go back ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgXvlyEkyOx
— No, we're having fun. Come on, come on ! 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV7XGeOYCTi
He gives me a reassuring wink. For the first time, he takes my hand, which suddenly makes me feverish, and guides me towards the gymnasium which has been transformed into a ballroom. Black and orange garlands cascade from the ceiling, paper pumpkins have been installed on the tables where soft drinks are served. In the four corners of the room, plastic skeletons held by wires move like puppets. In the center of the room, students wiggle to the rhythm of a wild Rolling Stones song.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQls3y2DXI9
— You are thirsty ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ231l3iKx7
I nod with a nod. Jessy leaves me to go get two cups. I look around the room. In a corner, I see Chad dressed as a vampire, and his friends. Apparently they are the ones responsible for leading the anxiety journey. Then a tall blonde girl comes and kisses him full on the mouth. Despite her Marilyn Monroe disguise, I recognized Amy immediately. That's why she's been running away from me since we broke up, she did everything to seduce him and it worked. Chad quickly forgot me and her, that traitor ! Jessy returns with the cups. I drink mine dry.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBZzbo832nN
— What do you have ? He asked in front of my furious face.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWQTwzrcUSa
I nod and show him Chad and Amy.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU7aQ1Tp4d0
— Oops, is the only sound that comes out of his mouth.
Jessy looks over to the corner where Chad and Amy are watching us, seeming to be watching for my reaction.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQErOFhoWhQ
— Come Dance.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTD9UhwU0cm
He takes my hand again, which has the effect of calming me down immediately.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxlATiRU0Ff
— I thought you didn't dance ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Hm4JkC1SI
— I never said that.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnd0wLGiCKH
His smile completely melts me. I let myself be guided to the dance floor. The music starts with a soft song. Like every time I'm in contact with Jessy, my heart starts racing. Without thinking, I put my arms around his neck, while he places his hands on my waist. Soon my head is resting on his shoulder. I breathe in its sweet and intoxicating scent, a mixture of flower soaps and aftershave. I feel wonderful, everything is so natural with him. But he stops abruptly. His gaze is focused on a girl, small in stature, with bobbed red hair, who turns her back to us and is chatting with friends a few steps from us.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3gNHhQGxuU
Jessy doesn't take his eyes off her as I feel his shoulders tense.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXjwO1EmMF8
— What is…261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfo8JB0e1Zu
The girl turns around, revealing her face to us. Jessy takes a deep breath before turning his attention back to me.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡatyhdfHp9B
— I need to get some fresh air, he tells me, white as a sheet.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgmPv6ZBRDA
We push through the crowd to the parking lot where he takes a deep breath. A cold wind rose, carrying with it the dead leaves from the trees to our feet.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQVqPxP8nZV
We lean against a car.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡigsa9Jcddh
— Why are you shaking ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK42aphe8ut
I question him timidly.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHGYMWelrT
— I don't really want to talk about it.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKKfwr4uVfN
— But you are livid ! 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIA3bDmFBuc
— I don't want to talk about it. Let's forget that, okay ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGRSkco8rwx
— Agree as you like.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbqFm7expod
He raises a questioning eyebrow at my resolve. It's not like me to give up so quickly. Usually, I insist that he talks to me, but now, I'm afraid to know the truth.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡezLo30zi7e
— Shall we go back ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfgwIRQDysi
— Yeah, I think it's better after all that.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhly2gpoLk2
We set off. The high school is only a few blocks from our homes.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzHWIRi0pMA
— All that ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8NWV8X9uzs
— Between the clairvoyant, Chad and Amy…261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIYZqm3nFBq
— And your latest conquest, I tell him, not being able to contain the feeling of jealousy that has invaded me since he saw this girl.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfnKQIz6sg2
Jessy turns to me.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvDGndFXra
— It's not what you think. I thought it was Haley... The girl who gave me AIDS.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUuSMIqzvr2
— Every time you talked to me about the virus, you told me you were handling it all. But after seeing your reaction tonight, I think you're handling things the wrong way. You didn't solve the problem with her. I think you should see her again, or at least talk to her.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPIpN0u9uk2
— I don't see how that would help me. You know, it was just an adventure, but one that I will regret for the rest of my life... — Think about it.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUpNBSoNqGF
He nods silently.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUE4G9N0qGI
I don't add anything. It's his story, and only he knows whether he wants to look straight ahead after settling his scores, or stay immersed in a past that gnaws at him.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ69lSfUUSf5
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw9Ptk0uvgU
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOpQXdmniLJ
The next day is Sunday; dressed in my coat, a scarf and my gloves, I leave my house, determined to face the morning cold which has suddenly fallen on the region.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1pxiqvd9ui
A black car stops next to me.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDAQPQ9zxke
— Hey, a familiar voice calls out to me.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBTx1ZaQEMl
— Hi. Jessy, do you have a car ? ! 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3pvMcV9CC
— Eh yes ! I've been talking to my mom about it for a while, and this morning she came back with it. She was so happy to see me out of the house ! You come ? I'll take you.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD0pD8Y65Y6
He starts and, quickly, I see that he is heading towards the highway ramp.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhxKTy4xmPl
— Where are we going ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvrts7lx34a
— It's coming ! 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡInZRJQo3mk
— At the cinema ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDSlUuh2fjB
— Non. 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtpnEniQ6rf
— Take a walk in the forest ? No, that's not the road. So, maybe visit a museum ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuxAC9ABftq
— No. You'll see, it's a surprise, and he gives me a big, innocent smile.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbF0zRcnX6a
— OK, anyway, wherever it is, I'm up for it.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl32O9QsHyo
— Your parents won't be worried ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQOZMdtchQZ
— I told them I was going to see you. They suspect that I'm going to spend the day with you.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWQFu0Pwwyx
— And that's going to be the case, because we're not going very close. I don't think we'll be back until tonight.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOsYRLxHOMy
Still want to come ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcXixWiSl3b
He gets onto the highway.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt0d9l62lJe
— Totally ! 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiVLfVabFvR
— I want to show you Allentown. Today, we are going to walk in the footsteps of my past...261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcGCgBQT8Bq
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1YyZMHu2Zm
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTbai7E81OK
After driving for almost three hours, Jessy parks in a small suburban street that seems very nice. All the houses are undoubtedly owned by wealthy people.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmqafsv5Gg
— We have arrived, he declares, getting out of the car.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyVdtUimUg8
I'm happy that he trusts me enough to show me the places that mattered to him. I get out and look at the house we are parked in front of. It is a single storey white villa with a well kept lawn. Large bay windows let the sun shine through, and a solid oak door welcomes visitors via a small path which splits the lawn into two parts.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡErKdIocng1
— Is this where you lived ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTWqkEPcKu
Jessy has an enigmatic smile.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZExWaTMqrT
— No, it’s not my place. We're at Haley's.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFUNGeARgjF
He gestures with his chin towards the beautiful house. I suddenly have a pit in my stomach.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE0rO75H7A4
— What ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZaeTVdSfkx
— I found her, it was very easy, actually. She told me her name and what neighborhood she lived in, a call to telephone information was enough.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1cgWR0dFJi
He leans back in his car, staring at the house like he can see through the walls. Little by little, his enthusiasm seems to diminish. His face turns pale...261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXZrRvdkDVT
Suddenly, Jessy comes around the car and announces to me : 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWNt48NJY2q
— Come on, let’s go.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv73GfBSfWG
I remain stunned.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQtIFOJQj9
— Oh no, we didn’t come all this way to leave now. You need to go talk to him ! 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHFJdov5VV
He stares at me, his face frozen.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAywXe0tMIi
— I am scared.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfVVz3efmm8
— I know, but if you don't go, you'll be left with everything that's on your heart for a long time to come. You need to move forward Jessy, you can't stay stuck with all these emotions.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbmon60ynZr
He nods and, taking a deep breath, heads towards the house. I see him approaching the door, taking the small gravel path. I'm afraid for him. It rings and only waits a few seconds before the door opens. Jessy enters. I'm not really thrilled that he's seeing one of his ex girlfriends again. What if he fell back into her arms ? This scares me as much as imagining him screaming horrors at him.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoR5LZzU9oB
After all, she is HIV positive, he could perfectly well have a real relationship with her. Not just a friendship like with me. Now I'm almost wishing I was sick, my God, I'm really going crazy ! 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHUnj29qH0O
During his absence, I also wonder about his behavior. Just the day before, when we talked about the clairvoyant's words, he repeated to me that he had nothing to offer a woman who, in any case, would quickly tire of only being able to kiss him. I managed to tell him that some relationships go beyond that. But he remained firm in his positions. Lost in my thoughts, I don't see him coming back. I jump when he opens the driver's side door and slides behind the wheel. I see right away that it's not going well. He is even paler than when he went to ring the bell, and his hands are clinging to the steering wheel as if his life depended on it. His whole body is shaking. I feel him at the end of his nerves even though he tries to control himself. I ask him half— heartedly : 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJGW3iS5fG
— Did it go wrong ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1SUiNFf3Sa
— It was his mother who opened the door to me...261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUbmph6OAGJ
His face expresses such hatred that I immediately think of the evening on the bridge when he was hanging above the void, screaming. I would bet that at this very moment, he would let himself fall under the wheels of vehicles rather than live another minute on this Earth. He struggles to speak, but I don't do anything to rush him.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqBrIDaOTIJ
— Haley died five months ago.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD0rIqlfeOe
I immediately understand the dark thoughts going through his head at that precise moment.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ0b4CpUWop
— Is that all his mother told you ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡusqiqmSjFV
— Oh no, he gets angry. She told me she is sorry that her child infected me ! She also gave me a letter that Haley wrote to me before she died. We're getting out of here ! 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4MvRP9aay7
He starts off with a bang and rushes through the streets which, apparently, hold no secrets for him.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv9yxxXbqhf
— Jessy, please slow down a little, you’re scaring me.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrn8uj2Yfbn
He doesn't respond, but I notice that he raises his foot. He drives like this for several minutes, in silence. We enter downtown Allentown. He takes the main artery then branches off several times before stopping abruptly in a small street. On either side, tall buildings block out most of the daylight. Along the buildings with their gray walls, rusty iron fire escapes make the place even more sinister.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKwz2OSNMn8
Jessy gets out of the car and slams the door. I'm. I am so afraid that he will try to end his life. He walks to the center of the street, where metal garbage containers are piled up, and hits them with all his might several times.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXPO8ziJ8Gv
— Jessy, please calm down, I’m begging you.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZTTiuagk9y
— For what ? Can you tell me what all this is for ? What's the point of living ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe6go0fV9uQ
— Stopped. (I place myself between him and the trash can on which he pours all his anger.) You are alive ! You hear me ? Are you still alive ! And by the time the disease breaks out, perhaps doctors will have found a treatment. But the force you put into hitting this container, you have to put into fighting yourself.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzhj4BzOBGx
— But why ? What is keeping me on this planet ? Don't you understand that I'm going to end up like Haley ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ08fDXCtVlK
He pushes me away with one arm before knocking again.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6vu9bxaPFE
Soon his fist is bloody.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPyA5lEIZb
— But why are you hitting this trash can ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdzOkWGsFlN
— Because I'm angry, and even then, angry is an understatement for what I feel.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVsltk3yX0K
— For what ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQzHYv8hvx
He, usually so secretive, finally decides to confide in me while now kicking the poor trash can.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcBh7b2Knwv
— This is the place where my life changed, he said to me, out of breath.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOmbfeYcbcD
He stops knocking and points to a spot near the right wall, a little further away.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHysiWCPpUt
— Do you see there ? This is the place where my father, my real father, died. He was killed by a local gang who wanted to steal his money, they dragged him here before shooting him. When I was little, I was terrified of losing my parents. I don’t know where this anxiety came from, it was unreasonable, it woke me up at night. My father reassured me, constantly telling me that he would always be there to protect me, and when I was five, suddenly, he was no longer there. He let me down. He didn't protect me ! Things would have been very different if he were still here. And now Haley is gone ! And it pisses me off because, even if it’s wrong, I would have liked to scream at him with all the rage I have in my heart ! And all I have instead is this damn letter ! 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc95bSCKx7y
He takes the missive out of his coat pocket and shakes it in the air, as if he wants to get rid of it but is unable to.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv5XYRHoMjI
— I understand that well ! But when you calm down, you will want to know what she had to say to you. Your father didn't get to say goodbye to you, Haley did it through these words in this envelope.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa11rKrgy4F
My voice is choked with sadness. Jessy looks at me, searching in my eyes for the reason for my sudden emotion.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXF29eNV9b3
— You’re right, he whispers, looking at the letter still in his hand. I must not condemn her, she was not the only one responsible for what happened that evening, he said more calmly.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9n4x9X0Aud
— It's true. She didn't know she was sick at the time. But on the other hand, I can't help but feel relieved that you didn't see her again. I know, it’s awful to think that ! 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEwz3zPpKxa
I turn away, I don't dare look at him anymore. I just told him about the fear that filled me the first time he mentioned Haley. Even though she infected him, he had a history with her, he was closer to her than he will ever be to me, and it breaks my heart to admit that.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyice2rOXxb
Jessy stands in front of me and examines my face.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8usf4YEjlL
— Why do you feel relieved ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8xUPgMLyWz
There is no longer any trace of anger in his voice, just curiosity.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjSImhnxsuB
— For nothing, forget it.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC2ADV3XgNk
— Yes, tell me, he breathes softly. I hesitate, watching his piercing gaze.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjAJ0jfCgGy
— Because I was afraid you would get back together with her.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzzmexa47kg
He looks at me, incredulous.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAQo7Yfb1PW
— I know..., I continue but I quickly interrupt myself, no longer knowing how to continue without admitting my feelings.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWdznUA919J
Jessy stares at me for a moment that seems to last forever.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4CRbltGvMK
— When you were with Chad, I said to myself : "Nothing will ever happen between us while he can do anything for her. "261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbR2qEnP6HC
I remain in shock, did he just tell me that he is dying to be with me or was I dreaming ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡviG3EbRani
— I'm not going back with Chad.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡschD5gfdi4
— It's true ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡik0zdK1EtP
I nod, grabbing the lapel of his coat.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnAtdwi907Q
— Chad has never been an obstacle between us. He's not the one I want to be with.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7smYZe9JuD
He wipes his forehead where beads of sweat appear and looks at his damaged hand.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXo61BGO3qX
— Actually, I mainly thought that it would scare you to be with me.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN43Dgpri1y
— Maybe you should have asked me ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ahTkQBcjA
I fiddle with a button on his coat.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl3HL6T2hLj
— It's true.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJsGkatS8p
He purses his lips and says : 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPt1YzVzrqb
— Do you want to go out with me ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgWouIUSf1L
Finally you decide ! I smile. Of course I want to be with you, that’s all I’ve thought about since we met.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKrgf2WeTVu
Jessy gives me a big smile.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe8XaR3qEuM
— I don't know how long I'll stay alive.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT53doo7TxB
— We'll see. We're going to make every day count.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡovd1p2HRjz
— And with Chad, is it definitely over ? Are you sure ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJhScRGeYb
— Jessy, Chad and I broke up because you came into my life and offered another horizon to my future. When I met you, I realized I never really loved him. He's just a friend. That’s the real reason… At least for me.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSlHymUMqpe
I hand him some tissues which he wraps around his scratched hand, which has already stopped bleeding. Then he puts his arm around my shoulders, kisses my forehead and leads me towards the car, putting the letter in his coat pocket.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1xJEZeuBbX
— I suspected that I was somewhat responsible for this story, he said, winking at me.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKCgQaX4aQc
Suddenly, he hands me the car keys.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGyfPPYQ1aG
— I don't feel like driving after all this, would you like it ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsLXTm5iaDS
Too happy to be able to get behind the wheel, I eagerly grab the keys.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwstxsmyLYO
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWy8zKYvbO7
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZwXFiWOABc
We enter Millisky, the town is deserted at this hour, only the street lights give a semblance of life to the streets. I glance at Jessy, lost in thought. Suddenly, instead of heading towards his house, I change direction and head towards the hill. I can't let him go home like this. Having reached the top, I stop the car. Jessy snaps out of his thoughts and looks around, surprised. He doesn't know this corner of the city where I myself rarely go.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGuBYFUN2Oe
— Where are we ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSuETgiAR3
— Come with me.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUwP4rrdjG
We are on a small dirt road bordered by a security fence. Tall grass protrudes from the slope overlooking the town. Jessy joins me in front of the car, I take his hand and lead him past one of the sumptuous mansions, which offers a perfect view of the sleeping city.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl7PidSb7XT
— I know you’re not in good spirits and I understand perfectly why, I assure him. I also know that you're waiting until you're alone to read Haley's letter. But I'm not going to let you do it, I don't want you to be upset, alone, in your corner while I'm worrying about you. Please, Jessy, do this for me. I'm not asking you to read it, I just want you to read it in my presence because whatever you think about it, you're going to need support afterwards and I want to be the one to hug you to make sure that everything will be alright.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD12UNWHbhf
With tears in his eyes, he nods.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ73eqkhauto
I move a few steps away to give him his privacy. He takes out the envelope, hesitates for a few seconds then opens it. From the first words he reads, I perceive the change in his expression, he seems to be decomposing. Quickly, I see tears rolling down his cheeks while I hold myself back from going to join him because I feel so bad for him. A few seconds later, he stops reading, leans over to lean on the safety barrier as a loud sob escapes him. I can no longer resist and will hug him. My arms are around his neck, my face on his shoulder.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi80vhJFz6J
I'm here, Jessy, I'm here, I whisper in his ear.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYg1vfmjBF8
He stands up, turns around and hugs me as if I were the only thing holding him back on earth.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVqrWptKrkQ
— Here, he said, handing me the letter.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAXJ6AeKais
— No, it’s meant for you.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCgGj7JdaDj
— I don't want to hide anything from you about Haley, not after what you admitted to me earlier.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGFSADRm9TN
Although it bothers me, I grab the paper.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwBwDTMfL4Y
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Jessy, 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Mcp5JLIIj
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If you are reading this it is because I will no longer be here to speak to you in person. It’s also that you are looking for answers to your questions, explanations. I will try to answer it.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMcmcQiEf5v
First of all, I wanted to tell you that I am deeply sorry for having infected you. If I had known that I was carrying this virus, I would never have hit on you that evening. As I told you during that famous evening, I wasn't looking for anything serious, yet when I saw you, I liked you straight away. If I left so quickly once we slept together, it was because I could have had feelings for you and coming out of a difficult relationship, I didn't want that.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrVtoRSsWUg
If you are wondering how I became HIV positive, it was precisely this ex that I had such a hard time forgetting who infected me after cheating on me. He didn't know he was sick either.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbjyBFtouH2
As I write these words to you, I am in the hospital. I don't think I'll get through it. I'm not telling you this to inspire pity, but to tell you that I pray that you never experience the same thing. I sincerely hope that medicine finds a cure before the virus manifests itself. In no case did I want to condemn you to live in this hell, neither you nor the two other boys whom I also infected.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUlHA5GVlrF
I'm going to leave consumed with guilt. I pray that God forgives me, that you will be able to forgive me one day.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYQFCK3CXB5
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Haley 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp8vRASW2wo
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These words upset me because they seem so sincere to me. I turn to Jessy who has wiped his eyes but still seems disturbed.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2LXVc8AnAK
— How are you feeling ? I ask him.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2PuMdZ0sY0
— Sad and relieved at the same time. In fact, I feel like life will never give me any gifts and that every one of my hopes will be disappointed.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDY0JNzHCIF
— You are wrong, Jessy. You see that ? I point to Millisky lit up in front of us. This is your life today. It is no longer a dark alley in Allentown, nor even a state of the art residence in which many misfortunes hide. No, your life is here now. As for your future, I don't know what it will be like, just as I don't know my future, but there is one thing I am certain of : I will be with you.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvPAoMgexDi
He leans towards me, I kiss him full on the mouth. This time he kisses me back forcefully. His body presses against mine, making me shiver. From my lips, he lets his mouth slide slowly down to my neck. I savor this kiss, this desire that pushes me to want him ever closer to me. Then he takes my mouth again with a mixture of tenderness and eagerness. With the tip of his tongue, he parts my lips, his tongue caresses mine while he sucks in my breath. No boy, no even Chad has never kissed me like that. I feel faint in his arms, my legs have difficulty supporting me. He moves slightly away from me, staring at me. I can read in his eyes that I won this first battle, he regained faith in life, in my love for him. For the first time since I've known him, he's happy.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHdmr50ciz9
Behind us, in the house, the group Divinyls can be heard with their songI’m on your side. 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYgR3cgTP3E
— Miss Crawfords, will you give me this dance ? 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl7YkPIvvcb
He holds out his hand to me. 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtCt0R6jbkM
— With pleasure.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡemME147Xxq
« I’m on your side 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡffiEkd3f5Y
You know I’m not the enemy. » 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9K679zTjlv
It's not hot tonight, but sheltered in Jessy's arms, I'm not cold.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeylpaf5UL8
« I love you, babe » rises in the silence of the night.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYtjcrKpeY
Jessy moves back a few inches and looks at me with a mischievous smile.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIqHBk4GAIK
— So in the end, who won ? The heart or the reason ? He asks me, quoting the words of the clairvoyant.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBCsf1307XT
– You are the heart, you always have been, I answer him forcefully.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhmExhBmziG
« I’ll hold on to you. » 261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf2C4LjKypu
This is how, snuggled in each other’s arms, the music rocks us.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡedDSpOSYNe
« I love you babe, I love you babe, I’m on your side. »261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL2HPU6EtXp
