— No, I don't feel like it.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEGHPTjmTDN
— But yes, it will be fun.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhEsaRVpE9N
— What's the funny thing about going to school on a day when there's no class ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBFNuw7WJE2
We have one of those discussions where I try to convince him to come out. This time, I set my sights on the Halloween party that the school organizes like every year on the evening of October 31st.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNyB9RnFxcV
I thought about his question for a moment. How can I make him give in this time ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF0IUzCSInC
— The classes will be emptied of their desks. There will be entertainment, sweets… a ball.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48dlaCHaX9
He raises an eyebrow and makes me understand that this is not a given.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm0xJTDHAnf
— Do you see me dancing ? ! 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Whum4vCS8
I ignore his reply and continue mischievously : 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSsLHDzj32d
— We will be disguised, and you can annoy everyone who criticizes you from behind. Why else do you think I would go ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnSbEFqWZo9
I can see by his expression that I have a point.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLBCIy8zEm4
— Hello, Megan.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt1rXGLlAdg
— Hello, Elise, are you well ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3UBFMnBOBO
I spend so much time with Jessy that I have become very close to Mrs. Sutter. She is always happy to see me at their place and invites me to come whenever I want. I feel a bit like home there.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJIumU3AGpR
— Where will you go in disguise ? Asks Elise who heard my last sentence.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPDW6TSs4DR
— At the high school Halloween party.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxHAni6bRrz
— Good idea ! 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpte8Skh1lp
With one look, Jessy glares at his mother. Mrs. Sutter places a laundry basket on the dining room table where we are and begins to fold the clothes. I grab a T-shirt and spread it on the table to help him.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOG6GbBVlh0
— It will do you good to go out and have fun, you stay too cooped up here ruminating.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi36R8Z9Uzq
— I like to be alone with my thoughts, Jessy defends, grabbing the T-shirt I’m holding in my hands.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeHw5fw439a
— Luckily you're here, Meg, otherwise he'd never leave his room.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8LDYV1AF16
I grab another piece of clothing and start folding it.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkL3Yt7RYK3
— Mom, stop. It’s okay, you win, I’ll go to the damn party ! But Meg, please stop worrying about my clothes ! 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJT6Q06RMf7
I look down at the item of clothing I'm holding : it's one of his boxers. I let go immediately, but I already feel my cheeks turning red. Jessy grabs it and hides it behind his back. His face is as red as mine.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1rk1yZ1fSM
— Sorry… I’m… so used to doing it… at home, I said, stuttering.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZqAhARPrFZ
Mrs. Sutter bursts out laughing as she watches us.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6yup17PkxI
— Mission accomplished, she comes to high five me.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgzV8SXLFdD
— What are we going to disguise ourselves as ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnIsP8djAt5
— There's no way I'm going to wear a suit ! 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbt7EaD6sR
Jessy responds quickly, looking at us in turn.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ22w1J1QHw1
296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFDNdWMDd79
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The next week, we're in the main hallway of the school during break time, talking about the Halloween party. I keep trying to convince Jessy to dress up but he remains stubborn.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAzN8Pec0wT
— I could see you as James Dean, I think out loud as I look at him.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcsMyegtKfa
— Is it because I'm going to die young like him ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLzDzNYKfZv
Immediately, I grimace.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpKzuFskoWG
— Stop with that ! I was thinking of James because you are handsome and sexy like him but if you prefer to see the negative side...296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ423XLf92wZ
— I was joking, he smiled. Beautiful and sexy, huh ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr5kScvDbDl
I roll my eyes, smiling as my cheeks turn red. My words came out before I could hold them back. In Jessy's presence, I feel like I'm losing my composure. It is enough for him to stare at me with those beautiful green eyes for my mouth to respond without having the approval of my brain.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgt2v4CCnzA
— I’m dreaming where your cheeks are all red, he mocks, pointing to my face with his index finger.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMHYlbnYYfJ
I give him a little tap on the arm which makes him burst out laughing. I love hearing this sound. I have seen him so angry, sullen, lonely, that when he laughs I am happy.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbeZtTOYBgi
— At times, you remind me of my brother. You have the same dubious humor every…296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9pVkPBjFf2
I leave my sentence hanging as my smile freezes when I see Amy passing near us. She gives me an icy look and completely ignores Jessy.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfa4S6hi3W1
— Why is Amy looking at you like that ? Jessy asks me.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIOowDVpy0s
I turn to him, trying to ignore my former friend. I don't want her to realize how much her attitude hurts and disappoints me.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAwIj5ea9X8
— I don't know. Since I'm no longer with Chad, she doesn't speak to me anymore. To think that she was my best friend... As children, we were all together often : Chad, Amy and me. And today, I feel like I've lost a part of my past.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFaHmZKr2Wx
— People change and evolve differently over the years. She'll come back to you one of these days.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡANHmNK7Ytq
— You think ? I ask him, hoping he's telling the truth.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9HqScIyV0H
— I'm sure. Who could give up a friend like you ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPIXeGBA5W5
— Yeah, a friend, I breathe with annoyance while scrutinizing him.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnm1PGd8yl7
I would really like him to see me as something other than his friend.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvGKU5NYqOv
— And with Chad, where are you ? He questions casually.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyqECIAme4H
— Nowhere. We haven't spoken in several weeks. I turned the page on him. On the other hand, I continue by staring at him. There are three other boys who asked me on a date.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKsdG0aXg23
Am I dreaming or has his expression suddenly changed ? He lowers his face, staring at the ground as if it holds all the answers in the universe.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4oU1TUxZ5v
— Did you agree to go out with them ? He whispers in a strangled voice.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCtW0a2vMpZ
— No, I refused. You're the only guy I want to spend time with at the moment.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhPaRdIMqVz
Suddenly, he lifts his face and smiles. I observe him carefully. Maybe he doesn't really see me as a friend after all. It’s enough to make me smile again.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGXN6IyIU9y
— You and Chad broke up shortly after I arrived in town, but there was one thing that struck me from the few times I saw you together.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ30pmN254uT
— Ah good ? What ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwHaRkJJXYC
— The distance there was between you. I mean, you were never in each other's arms or making a move to touch each other.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl3xlde57mO
— Is that what you did with your exes ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYQc6qfEmjE
I scrutinize him to read his reaction which does not take long : 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkNf3fVwVcP
— No, but I have never been in love.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡszu1AS3Ym6
— Maybe Chad didn’t like me that much, I shrug. Or that I'm not the type of girl that guys like to hug.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXVTiV0w31T
— Oh yes, any man would be happy to be able to hold you against him, he says without a shadow of hesitation.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1fHg24SHfl
So why don't you do it ? ! I want to ask him.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX0HM2LtgY7
But suspecting that this would turn him on, I just stare at him and remain silent. However, I am happy with his admission, so I continue with a smile : 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhWbkHPFbdJ
— So for Halloween, what are we dressing up as ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaMc58xFD2O
296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡubO3dh1KFM
296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQVpkXtncAp
On Friday evening, I found my parents in the living room while waiting for Jessy to arrive. I enter the room and turn around asking them : 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKVjUXDCZ6W
— Is my dress okay ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjYZZvWXXCQ
— You are very chic, admire my father.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC8bDQZCVcJ
For the occasion, I opted for a black Charleston— style dress, and my hairstyle is adorned with a white feather. It's not my favorite outfit, but Jessy only agreed to wear a very classy suit jacket.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡze9xdbRUD9
— Megan, why do you have a mask in your hand ? Nina asks.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZtj50sXC5
— I'll put it on when I get to school. I promised Jessy that, under cover of anonymity, he could annoy the students who criticize him.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc1ZVRS1PZn
My mother laughs.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0c9sCWiGy9
— That’s definitely your idea ! 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb73SIDr7hV
— It was one of the arguments to decide him to leave his house.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyL7aiWWdHx
— You two spend a lot of time together, my father comments seriously.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8a6bslP1rC
— Yes, he’s great ! 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ4Fg6xxB4Q
— You know we love Jessy, but we're worried about you.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUWaHH7vlDb
— We are just friends.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLt1YXYmR9a
— I'm not talking about that. Losing someone close to you is difficult.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3qLZ8t1GBA
— I know. I know that one day he may no longer be here, but if that were to happen, I would have time to prepare for it. And he's my best friend, I can't stop seeing him, that wouldn't be fair to him or me.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdvDdEke60o
— Are you sure it’s just friendship ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKS8em8n4K3
My father examines my face which immediately turns purple.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6l67P8fxCh
— I preferred Chad, my sister objects, sulking.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS4Cg3itOen
Without meaning to, Nina makes me smile again and distracts my father's attention. Admitting to myself that I'm in love with Jessy is one thing, dropping this bombshell in front of my father is another. I already know the moral lesson that would await me.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA4bywXOn4i
— And I find this school rule stupid which stipulates that you have to be fifteen years old to be able to attend this evening. I would have liked to go there ! She says, crossing her arms over her chest.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCRaBAEsqZ
— Then you should have asked Chad to invite you ! I said, provoking her.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡamCSSuCQwR
In response, she taps her foot on the ground while the doorbell rings.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmSZ59bgRte
— I go ! 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmdcdVmBsRx
I rush to open the door to Jessy. And I literally stand there glued to the spot when I see him in his black suit with a white shirt, black tie and hat. In his hand he holds a white mask similar to mine. He exudes a particular charm that disturbs me even more than usual, which is saying something.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVt2iTp1Km5
After a few seconds of examining each other, he leans towards me to hang a white rose on the strap of my dress.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCgIczg4Jj1
— How pretty you are, he whispered to me.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8cjB6dtjQ5
His hands brush the skin of my shoulder and I feel myself melting. I take a deep breath to force myself to pull myself together.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWNsMJDyB5T
— Isn't that okay ? He asks me, visibly worried.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbXzCYDgabR
I can't tell him the truth. He was very clear with me when I let myself kiss him. And even though he hasn't spoken to me about it again, I still feel a burning shame. Since then I have restrained my actions and am content to be the friend he needs so much.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs0mHvYDUl7
— Yes, it's going very well. It’s just that it’s hot in the house and cold outside, the contrast struck me. Come on, just a minute, I'll get my coat.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsVxqaBdwBH
He nods and follows me to the living room where he politely greets my family as usual.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtLPN7POFqK
— Wow, Jessy ! This costume suits you really well ! Launches my mother.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQVLzgdLGpd
— Thank you, Mrs. Crawfords. Nina, I thought of you, I brought you a little thing to console you for not being able to come to the party.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1tCWNybaky
He takes a rose similar to mine out of his pocket and hands it to my sister, who is speechless for a few seconds.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYVUM9W6S0J
— Thank you, Jessy, she finally said. Then looking at us, she adds : I take back everything I said earlier, it’s Jessy, my favorite ! 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPy0lv5vPC7
We burst out laughing.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw2BASQTzUF
— Well done, Jessy, you managed to dethrone Chad ! My father is joking.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsW8hNxdStZ
— It wasn’t won though, smiled the young man. — Here we go ? I ask him.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Y66PcuKuq
Jessy makes a hesitant face and answers me without much enthusiasm : 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0OF4XcCZFs
— I would have done without it, but since I have to… let’s go ! 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ91BhaZOjMf
296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT0auxncfoC
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Two hours later, I see that Jessy is having a good evening. We took the route of anxiety : a walk in the middle of the corridors of the high school which, for the occasion, were decorated as a house of horror with skeletons suddenly appearing in front of us, vampires thirsty for blood who throw themselves on those who dare to approach them or even werewolves who run after us in the feigned hope of devouring us. There are many activities, but Jessy doesn't forget his little revenge either. When we pass a tall dark guy dressed as Dracula, whom my companion immediately recognizes as one of his persecutors, he puts on his mask, approaches slowly and manages to drop off without anyone, except me, noticing. has a large rubber tarantula on his shoulder. A moment later, we hear a scream echo through the classroom as the guy in question squirms in every direction to escape the spider. Jessy and I walk out of the room laughing until we cry.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoqKtRASj2x
— I admit, he said to me shortly after in one of the corridors, when we caught our breath, that just for that, it was worth coming ! 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrokuCqiW9x
— See, I told you we’d have fun ! 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcKW5pruSXR
— You were right, thank you for forcing my hand. (He takes off his mask before staring at me.) Of all the people I know, you are always there for me, no matter what. For what ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFpQI1QxJtX
He is suddenly serious.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmzMUk8MQD
Can't you see that I'm in love with you, idiot ! 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5hGWPJ85xY
I want to tell him, but I hold back.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgVlxTfpG3M
Instead, I answer him : 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHdmN0gi41F
— Why not ? You're my friend, right ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsNHE46Hz8o
He nods, and his green eyes shine with a strange light.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUz2LG96MkA
— Oh, Jessy, come ! 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ93QS8TvPWf
Without waiting for a response, I grab him by the sleeve of his suit and force him to follow me into one of the classes that says : Come discover your future through cards.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrjLUSXSQTD
For the occasion, the room, deliberately darkened, was divided into three parts by curtains, thus constituting cabins where clairvoyants sit. We approach one of them.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH4yMhh48Au
— Can we ? I said, pointing to the seats in front of her.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW4YseTKEEo
— Of course, my children, come. Sit down.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXhMtNjRmS
She is a small woman with brown hair, with a fairly fleshy build, who inspires confidence at first glance.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWIYKo8tELH
— Who wants to start ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHnN5csgMmg
Jessy and I exchange a look.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYtiH708yLB
"Iron, Meg."296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL4jbxjNuWA
— OK, draw seven cards from the fan in front of you.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRPQ33V98h0
She turns the cards over one after the other, arranging them in a sort of large cross.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBdHQrH6DdG
— You are a nice girl, a little too serious at times, she said to me. You are always there for the people you love. This card, which designates the Empress, tells me that you are good at studies. I can assure you that you will go to university and study for a long time. A great job awaits you at the end.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpLiwzeSRjN
I'm happy, studies are very important to me.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpyG8iQ8qdv
— This card, she continues, showing me the Lover, — tells me that you are hesitating between two boys. One has the key to your heart and the other relationship is more controlled by your reason, the first boy completely capsizes you, the second rather symbolizes security.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4iu1DCn3N5
I feel myself blushing from head to toe and, silently, I thank the heavens that the room is just lit by candles. Jessy and Chad ! Only I'm not in love with Chad and I'm banking on love... I feel Jessy's gaze weighing on me, but I don't dare respond.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7S4mbLyPl
— I can't tell you more, it will be up to you to choose between these two men, she places her hand on mine.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48xTaqcvhm
— Thanks.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxqG6BJ2Qmm
— Your turn, young man, announces the woman, shuffling her cards before spreading them again on the table.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoyEr2Jwmha
As I did, Jessy takes out seven cards from the deck and turns them over as she goes.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwmIb6WfU3G
— You are a kind boy, very sensitive, who has suffered a lot, but you do everything to keep it from showing. You play tough to hide your heart of gold. You are gifted in studies, but this card, it points to the Moon, leads me to believe that you are especially gifted in the arts. The drawing ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCr2JjtEIIG
— I painted a lot, but I stopped for a while.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQhqfwOyGQl
— You should start again. You are an anxious boy, and this would calm you down.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvc8WD1Fnf
She turns over another card : the Hermit.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLkX5dwulz7
— This one tells me that you tend to run away from others. You like to be alone and, at the same time, you experience this solitude as if you were afraid of the world around you. Yet you are not alone... There is someone in your life that you love, but, for I don't know what reasons, you seem to be running away from this love that life offers you.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCpBUpUqOkD
I see Jessy growing nervous next to me as he stares intently at the cards.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEHFOyOqkcm
The clairvoyant turns over the penultimate card : the Nameless Arcana. Despite myself, I flinch.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48NhMpgKdu
— Don't worry, the lady is reassuring, this card is scary with the skeleton reaping it represents, but it rarely means physical death. Above all, it is a sign of change in life. Your existence will be turned upside down, you will succeed in overcoming your fears to fully live your destiny.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZjHCMAVZu3
She turns over the last card : the World.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbYwvThLzEP
— In the coming months, you are going to be very happy young man, much more than you imagine, but for that, you must open your heart to accept the gift that is being given to you, said the clairvoyant, looking Jessie.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMr8dpAQt5O
— Thank you, Madam, he stammers, visibly embarrassed.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡktwqouLzW4
— One last thing : Concerning your health, just live day to day without worrying too much. Destiny is destiny, you cannot change what will happen.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWprhQsEPxx
Jessy nods, looking serious, even though my heart is pounding. Has she just confirmed his imminent death ? His words are enigmatic to me but not to296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZSmdH72ikG
Jessy who gets up quickly and leaves the room, I follow suit.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtyqAYBBf90
— Jessy, are you okay ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ223vj1JGck
— Yes, very good.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9STQIX6lM3
— I'm sorry. It was a stupid idea to go see a psychic.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0AdscNcgjC
He stops and turns to me.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡatXJTkiGdo
— Don't worry, she told us an ending that you and I already know.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡggFIh1O3i5
— It wasn't that clear to me.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3GUqe2Cxzv
— Yes, but you are always overly optimistic while I…296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡya5Jn5NMuU
— You are disarmingly pessimistic.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzcMWUHQD5M
My reply makes Jessy laugh.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw2jSBEmhea
— It's true. Between the two of us, we have the perfect balance.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4AH4sPeuzg
I smile in turn, thinking about how we complement each other perfectly.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNK4CEcTAcR
— Seriously, are you sure you’re okay ? If you want, can we go back ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYY8ojqOYq2
— No, we're having fun. Come on, come on ! 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2xtBXG4lNj
He gives me a reassuring wink. For the first time, he takes my hand, which suddenly makes me feverish, and guides me towards the gymnasium which has been transformed into a ballroom. Black and orange garlands cascade from the ceiling, paper pumpkins have been installed on the tables where soft drinks are served. In the four corners of the room, plastic skeletons held by wires move like puppets. In the center of the room, students wiggle to the rhythm of a wild Rolling Stones song.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtQGQxFufy
— You are thirsty ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8rAYOepxkQ
I nod with a nod. Jessy leaves me to go get two cups. I look around the room. In a corner, I see Chad dressed as a vampire, and his friends. Apparently they are the ones responsible for leading the anxiety journey. Then a tall blonde girl comes and kisses him full on the mouth. Despite her Marilyn Monroe disguise, I recognized Amy immediately. That's why she's been running away from me since we broke up, she did everything to seduce him and it worked. Chad quickly forgot me and her, that traitor ! Jessy returns with the cups. I drink mine dry.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7VyM816GP
— What do you have ? He asked in front of my furious face.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC886TXHPSA
I nod and show him Chad and Amy.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8pUDlx8G9n
— Oops, is the only sound that comes out of his mouth.
Jessy looks over to the corner where Chad and Amy are watching us, seeming to be watching for my reaction.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUHRZEzM7mK
— Come Dance.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvV8hxxZA0
He takes my hand again, which has the effect of calming me down immediately.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCogjkRlDrP
— I thought you didn't dance ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7w6y7nORT8
— I never said that.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7U4rA2TC05
His smile completely melts me. I let myself be guided to the dance floor. The music starts with a soft song. Like every time I'm in contact with Jessy, my heart starts racing. Without thinking, I put my arms around his neck, while he places his hands on my waist. Soon my head is resting on his shoulder. I breathe in its sweet and intoxicating scent, a mixture of flower soaps and aftershave. I feel wonderful, everything is so natural with him. But he stops abruptly. His gaze is focused on a girl, small in stature, with bobbed red hair, who turns her back to us and is chatting with friends a few steps from us.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuPXuEwuZS3
Jessy doesn't take his eyes off her as I feel his shoulders tense.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7UBvSN6JeL
— What is…296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5CFAFNgjIZ
The girl turns around, revealing her face to us. Jessy takes a deep breath before turning his attention back to me.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrplg8yf3Ea
— I need to get some fresh air, he tells me, white as a sheet.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHrzlWcgrEe
We push through the crowd to the parking lot where he takes a deep breath. A cold wind rose, carrying with it the dead leaves from the trees to our feet.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNOdZ8j5Bbt
We lean against a car.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4uMYiNeBJK
— Why are you shaking ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQQCXWjD0Cl
I question him timidly.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNDWBMZCcL
— I don't really want to talk about it.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRfdZqVIgHv
— But you are livid ! 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgFuNrOLcQ7
— I don't want to talk about it. Let's forget that, okay ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvFUtJpOHlx
— Agree as you like.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ4UPre6m9P
He raises a questioning eyebrow at my resolve. It's not like me to give up so quickly. Usually, I insist that he talks to me, but now, I'm afraid to know the truth.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQbdjyWil3
— Shall we go back ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXOsdnaiFb
— Yeah, I think it's better after all that.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjAh1rLuQIH
We set off. The high school is only a few blocks from our homes.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrIMiZVSQVz
— All that ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR1Vr0RsNhP
— Between the clairvoyant, Chad and Amy…296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8rfmuPPkYj
— And your latest conquest, I tell him, not being able to contain the feeling of jealousy that has invaded me since he saw this girl.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxwGIfzhxla
Jessy turns to me.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPa8S9L1vYz
— It's not what you think. I thought it was Haley... The girl who gave me AIDS.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp99JPkaCoP
— Every time you talked to me about the virus, you told me you were handling it all. But after seeing your reaction tonight, I think you're handling things the wrong way. You didn't solve the problem with her. I think you should see her again, or at least talk to her.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9V61i8P6CD
— I don't see how that would help me. You know, it was just an adventure, but one that I will regret for the rest of my life... — Think about it.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2QEGHnrQ8h
He nods silently.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIB6pwW2mEp
I don't add anything. It's his story, and only he knows whether he wants to look straight ahead after settling his scores, or stay immersed in a past that gnaws at him.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDfR5RJVvKE
296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaim86AhStD
296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs87e4EKRxH
The next day is Sunday; dressed in my coat, a scarf and my gloves, I leave my house, determined to face the morning cold which has suddenly fallen on the region.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx7J3lNXwlh
A black car stops next to me.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfKe34leOuR
— Hey, a familiar voice calls out to me.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7GqdDYskm
— Hi. Jessy, do you have a car ? ! 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY7utZkfOw6
— Eh yes ! I've been talking to my mom about it for a while, and this morning she came back with it. She was so happy to see me out of the house ! You come ? I'll take you.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVqN6XOAWwy
He starts and, quickly, I see that he is heading towards the highway ramp.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLXxjsxecw
— Where are we going ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrwFuBkKv3U
— It's coming ! 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVQtW7J3x9V
— At the cinema ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxS7NkhIWcF
— Non. 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKBpuSNhF9N
— Take a walk in the forest ? No, that's not the road. So, maybe visit a museum ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOpB6TeU2iV
— No. You'll see, it's a surprise, and he gives me a big, innocent smile.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnTrowQdMmK
— OK, anyway, wherever it is, I'm up for it.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0rGFuQyOMR
— Your parents won't be worried ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5BaKIFb6f1
— I told them I was going to see you. They suspect that I'm going to spend the day with you.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvYLdeEpf9n
— And that's going to be the case, because we're not going very close. I don't think we'll be back until tonight.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsPTJrUQZL9
Still want to come ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw6dBNJ7kOb
He gets onto the highway.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvga1KJ6LU
— Totally ! 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4RvmgK352y
— I want to show you Allentown. Today, we are going to walk in the footsteps of my past...296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEvLOEIGMY
296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6yQyUqP7Vp
296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtrMmXNuPhe
After driving for almost three hours, Jessy parks in a small suburban street that seems very nice. All the houses are undoubtedly owned by wealthy people.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59jfjbGEIM
— We have arrived, he declares, getting out of the car.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT9Els9OAf5
I'm happy that he trusts me enough to show me the places that mattered to him. I get out and look at the house we are parked in front of. It is a single storey white villa with a well kept lawn. Large bay windows let the sun shine through, and a solid oak door welcomes visitors via a small path which splits the lawn into two parts.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDD8c6qHlxj
— Is this where you lived ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSgOZuJGuzJ
Jessy has an enigmatic smile.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡos6Wy3mImF
— No, it’s not my place. We're at Haley's.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy3jxcdYcBj
He gestures with his chin towards the beautiful house. I suddenly have a pit in my stomach.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg3Lhk44xUx
— What ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6FJI8UuuRB
— I found her, it was very easy, actually. She told me her name and what neighborhood she lived in, a call to telephone information was enough.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE6XxpzYe6J
He leans back in his car, staring at the house like he can see through the walls. Little by little, his enthusiasm seems to diminish. His face turns pale...296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWHBQUQd6CY
Suddenly, Jessy comes around the car and announces to me : 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkMMxGmRE4M
— Come on, let’s go.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCKoYc9zUQe
I remain stunned.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqzJmyhtiQB
— Oh no, we didn’t come all this way to leave now. You need to go talk to him ! 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqzPu0GZG8c
He stares at me, his face frozen.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNk2IStUy9v
— I am scared.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHso0JElxaC
— I know, but if you don't go, you'll be left with everything that's on your heart for a long time to come. You need to move forward Jessy, you can't stay stuck with all these emotions.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzrHgwcUuUV
He nods and, taking a deep breath, heads towards the house. I see him approaching the door, taking the small gravel path. I'm afraid for him. It rings and only waits a few seconds before the door opens. Jessy enters. I'm not really thrilled that he's seeing one of his ex girlfriends again. What if he fell back into her arms ? This scares me as much as imagining him screaming horrors at him.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw6Yfyv7IFF
After all, she is HIV positive, he could perfectly well have a real relationship with her. Not just a friendship like with me. Now I'm almost wishing I was sick, my God, I'm really going crazy ! 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbYdZ2hAOKG
During his absence, I also wonder about his behavior. Just the day before, when we talked about the clairvoyant's words, he repeated to me that he had nothing to offer a woman who, in any case, would quickly tire of only being able to kiss him. I managed to tell him that some relationships go beyond that. But he remained firm in his positions. Lost in my thoughts, I don't see him coming back. I jump when he opens the driver's side door and slides behind the wheel. I see right away that it's not going well. He is even paler than when he went to ring the bell, and his hands are clinging to the steering wheel as if his life depended on it. His whole body is shaking. I feel him at the end of his nerves even though he tries to control himself. I ask him half— heartedly : 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡySRILn9FIg
— Did it go wrong ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmaX6YoEbM
— It was his mother who opened the door to me...296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnWnnw2VpB9
His face expresses such hatred that I immediately think of the evening on the bridge when he was hanging above the void, screaming. I would bet that at this very moment, he would let himself fall under the wheels of vehicles rather than live another minute on this Earth. He struggles to speak, but I don't do anything to rush him.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ82kW2BqoKQ
— Haley died five months ago.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAlp4pUeA4i
I immediately understand the dark thoughts going through his head at that precise moment.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGCy4j8f6Hn
— Is that all his mother told you ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoF4J3YMVhF
— Oh no, he gets angry. She told me she is sorry that her child infected me ! She also gave me a letter that Haley wrote to me before she died. We're getting out of here ! 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡedRdxThnUI
He starts off with a bang and rushes through the streets which, apparently, hold no secrets for him.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrKC3PNcCj7
— Jessy, please slow down a little, you’re scaring me.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ00QhvD1dbk
He doesn't respond, but I notice that he raises his foot. He drives like this for several minutes, in silence. We enter downtown Allentown. He takes the main artery then branches off several times before stopping abruptly in a small street. On either side, tall buildings block out most of the daylight. Along the buildings with their gray walls, rusty iron fire escapes make the place even more sinister.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7c0uYN209V
Jessy gets out of the car and slams the door. I'm. I am so afraid that he will try to end his life. He walks to the center of the street, where metal garbage containers are piled up, and hits them with all his might several times.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78QuCn9Ivb
— Jessy, please calm down, I’m begging you.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRKv6T6tIDX
— For what ? Can you tell me what all this is for ? What's the point of living ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡudob9g0CjZ
— Stopped. (I place myself between him and the trash can on which he pours all his anger.) You are alive ! You hear me ? Are you still alive ! And by the time the disease breaks out, perhaps doctors will have found a treatment. But the force you put into hitting this container, you have to put into fighting yourself.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDHafoBW9cY
— But why ? What is keeping me on this planet ? Don't you understand that I'm going to end up like Haley ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKNRwlZsWYs
He pushes me away with one arm before knocking again.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeEbra3xUiW
Soon his fist is bloody.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkARLvDw1EX
— But why are you hitting this trash can ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ39Yn2R5Blh
— Because I'm angry, and even then, angry is an understatement for what I feel.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXNPmXNekSs
— For what ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQVLqUKatK
He, usually so secretive, finally decides to confide in me while now kicking the poor trash can.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVgYaErP2WU
— This is the place where my life changed, he said to me, out of breath.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKF0j2AE9aO
He stops knocking and points to a spot near the right wall, a little further away.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHNdwpzo3xp
— Do you see there ? This is the place where my father, my real father, died. He was killed by a local gang who wanted to steal his money, they dragged him here before shooting him. When I was little, I was terrified of losing my parents. I don’t know where this anxiety came from, it was unreasonable, it woke me up at night. My father reassured me, constantly telling me that he would always be there to protect me, and when I was five, suddenly, he was no longer there. He let me down. He didn't protect me ! Things would have been very different if he were still here. And now Haley is gone ! And it pisses me off because, even if it’s wrong, I would have liked to scream at him with all the rage I have in my heart ! And all I have instead is this damn letter ! 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9lveeied4T
He takes the missive out of his coat pocket and shakes it in the air, as if he wants to get rid of it but is unable to.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjOcbLpyax8
— I understand that well ! But when you calm down, you will want to know what she had to say to you. Your father didn't get to say goodbye to you, Haley did it through these words in this envelope.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPAIPzoCjTq
My voice is choked with sadness. Jessy looks at me, searching in my eyes for the reason for my sudden emotion.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Wjs8lez1v
— You’re right, he whispers, looking at the letter still in his hand. I must not condemn her, she was not the only one responsible for what happened that evening, he said more calmly.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaPYXVA8l3Q
— It's true. She didn't know she was sick at the time. But on the other hand, I can't help but feel relieved that you didn't see her again. I know, it’s awful to think that ! 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYboWxlksz3
I turn away, I don't dare look at him anymore. I just told him about the fear that filled me the first time he mentioned Haley. Even though she infected him, he had a history with her, he was closer to her than he will ever be to me, and it breaks my heart to admit that.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6K89U3Kxkw
Jessy stands in front of me and examines my face.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Czr7cDSdF
— Why do you feel relieved ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIfiiYZLZUZ
There is no longer any trace of anger in his voice, just curiosity.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTPCftJ0xXZ
— For nothing, forget it.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOiS1k4aczK
— Yes, tell me, he breathes softly. I hesitate, watching his piercing gaze.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡziskBAvnL8
— Because I was afraid you would get back together with her.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLzw4EubFys
He looks at me, incredulous.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLmztWB2Uud
— I know..., I continue but I quickly interrupt myself, no longer knowing how to continue without admitting my feelings.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdxxv2vjMMv
Jessy stares at me for a moment that seems to last forever.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAllttODIsm
— When you were with Chad, I said to myself : "Nothing will ever happen between us while he can do anything for her. "296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVuXqWa5zVe
I remain in shock, did he just tell me that he is dying to be with me or was I dreaming ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiBhmOMigup
— I'm not going back with Chad.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLjBl51GkqK
— It's true ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHFGcQbq7dI
I nod, grabbing the lapel of his coat.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmIxB77ASS
— Chad has never been an obstacle between us. He's not the one I want to be with.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUT7OxylyxI
He wipes his forehead where beads of sweat appear and looks at his damaged hand.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBOjn5fbyl0
— Actually, I mainly thought that it would scare you to be with me.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyg1Y4sL5Kt
— Maybe you should have asked me ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Eq5Lc6uh1
I fiddle with a button on his coat.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwpd9qglR0n
— It's true.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEbcpWI8vTe
He purses his lips and says : 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ12ejm7LpDg
— Do you want to go out with me ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZxCInJx72e
Finally you decide ! I smile. Of course I want to be with you, that’s all I’ve thought about since we met.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiVyxB9iqV1
Jessy gives me a big smile.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwMnpWj17z4
— I don't know how long I'll stay alive.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡapUpVhr8fB
— We'll see. We're going to make every day count.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnKk5wey6mC
— And with Chad, is it definitely over ? Are you sure ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxhb2elJCvC
— Jessy, Chad and I broke up because you came into my life and offered another horizon to my future. When I met you, I realized I never really loved him. He's just a friend. That’s the real reason… At least for me.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgKiAoz8pEm
I hand him some tissues which he wraps around his scratched hand, which has already stopped bleeding. Then he puts his arm around my shoulders, kisses my forehead and leads me towards the car, putting the letter in his coat pocket.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIBodWmkmCs
— I suspected that I was somewhat responsible for this story, he said, winking at me.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBvCBSHPzVq
Suddenly, he hands me the car keys.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkAWLrjn8nQ
— I don't feel like driving after all this, would you like it ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjK0cRf9o0j
Too happy to be able to get behind the wheel, I eagerly grab the keys.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhyqdvtmINp
296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyMROpvauNJ
296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9vwXuvSUkD
We enter Millisky, the town is deserted at this hour, only the street lights give a semblance of life to the streets. I glance at Jessy, lost in thought. Suddenly, instead of heading towards his house, I change direction and head towards the hill. I can't let him go home like this. Having reached the top, I stop the car. Jessy snaps out of his thoughts and looks around, surprised. He doesn't know this corner of the city where I myself rarely go.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV54ukQzNFf
— Where are we ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOwhnqpK0a7
— Come with me.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3BYTk7Osz8
We are on a small dirt road bordered by a security fence. Tall grass protrudes from the slope overlooking the town. Jessy joins me in front of the car, I take his hand and lead him past one of the sumptuous mansions, which offers a perfect view of the sleeping city.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCoKkz2UIEk
— I know you’re not in good spirits and I understand perfectly why, I assure him. I also know that you're waiting until you're alone to read Haley's letter. But I'm not going to let you do it, I don't want you to be upset, alone, in your corner while I'm worrying about you. Please, Jessy, do this for me. I'm not asking you to read it, I just want you to read it in my presence because whatever you think about it, you're going to need support afterwards and I want to be the one to hug you to make sure that everything will be alright.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnmsYKq4IVM
With tears in his eyes, he nods.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJb9PYr6iko
I move a few steps away to give him his privacy. He takes out the envelope, hesitates for a few seconds then opens it. From the first words he reads, I perceive the change in his expression, he seems to be decomposing. Quickly, I see tears rolling down his cheeks while I hold myself back from going to join him because I feel so bad for him. A few seconds later, he stops reading, leans over to lean on the safety barrier as a loud sob escapes him. I can no longer resist and will hug him. My arms are around his neck, my face on his shoulder.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCB1VFpdJJ3
I'm here, Jessy, I'm here, I whisper in his ear.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡimfnHGkX5D
He stands up, turns around and hugs me as if I were the only thing holding him back on earth.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvUEJJUYkP
— Here, he said, handing me the letter.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrMy6DKUKQg
— No, it’s meant for you.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3aN09hEHji
— I don't want to hide anything from you about Haley, not after what you admitted to me earlier.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqo8s6AgwHI
Although it bothers me, I grab the paper.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9GxV6b8tUl
296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9JTX24Tqlq
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Jessy, 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5YZZKR5hQh
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If you are reading this it is because I will no longer be here to speak to you in person. It’s also that you are looking for answers to your questions, explanations. I will try to answer it.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4CziXfpNzN
First of all, I wanted to tell you that I am deeply sorry for having infected you. If I had known that I was carrying this virus, I would never have hit on you that evening. As I told you during that famous evening, I wasn't looking for anything serious, yet when I saw you, I liked you straight away. If I left so quickly once we slept together, it was because I could have had feelings for you and coming out of a difficult relationship, I didn't want that.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaliV5wp0MD
If you are wondering how I became HIV positive, it was precisely this ex that I had such a hard time forgetting who infected me after cheating on me. He didn't know he was sick either.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdeVpIASiIt
As I write these words to you, I am in the hospital. I don't think I'll get through it. I'm not telling you this to inspire pity, but to tell you that I pray that you never experience the same thing. I sincerely hope that medicine finds a cure before the virus manifests itself. In no case did I want to condemn you to live in this hell, neither you nor the two other boys whom I also infected.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzxxxBFVMnb
I'm going to leave consumed with guilt. I pray that God forgives me, that you will be able to forgive me one day.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUCGff7O9NW
296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTC1mULRvUW
Haley 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVyX2gTRaxA
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These words upset me because they seem so sincere to me. I turn to Jessy who has wiped his eyes but still seems disturbed.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNnRbsCNlK3
— How are you feeling ? I ask him.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs27r4BBFwH
— Sad and relieved at the same time. In fact, I feel like life will never give me any gifts and that every one of my hopes will be disappointed.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw9qu2zLXcr
— You are wrong, Jessy. You see that ? I point to Millisky lit up in front of us. This is your life today. It is no longer a dark alley in Allentown, nor even a state of the art residence in which many misfortunes hide. No, your life is here now. As for your future, I don't know what it will be like, just as I don't know my future, but there is one thing I am certain of : I will be with you.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9bAOtmSgy0
He leans towards me, I kiss him full on the mouth. This time he kisses me back forcefully. His body presses against mine, making me shiver. From my lips, he lets his mouth slide slowly down to my neck. I savor this kiss, this desire that pushes me to want him ever closer to me. Then he takes my mouth again with a mixture of tenderness and eagerness. With the tip of his tongue, he parts my lips, his tongue caresses mine while he sucks in my breath. No boy, no even Chad has never kissed me like that. I feel faint in his arms, my legs have difficulty supporting me. He moves slightly away from me, staring at me. I can read in his eyes that I won this first battle, he regained faith in life, in my love for him. For the first time since I've known him, he's happy.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYctH82GjMA
Behind us, in the house, the group Divinyls can be heard with their songI’m on your side. 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDddfKOnj5L
— Miss Crawfords, will you give me this dance ? 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkoBsTBoEr5
He holds out his hand to me. 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8RR6mxY9E9
— With pleasure.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLOZnjiixtk
« I’m on your side 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGP1K9hVrai
You know I’m not the enemy. » 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjH85qwENpn
It's not hot tonight, but sheltered in Jessy's arms, I'm not cold.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0OiSmVoR1N
« I love you, babe » rises in the silence of the night.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKyriDGOyIr
Jessy moves back a few inches and looks at me with a mischievous smile.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡydeQhWwfZV
— So in the end, who won ? The heart or the reason ? He asks me, quoting the words of the clairvoyant.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLRaQqQMIz9
– You are the heart, you always have been, I answer him forcefully.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIKjeWoSJdn
« I’ll hold on to you. » 296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrgN6d3qhYZ
This is how, snuggled in each other’s arms, the music rocks us.296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHTMgt0ufX8
« I love you babe, I love you babe, I’m on your side. »296Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPiV7F6udz
