Captain Space grabbed his head with both hands and the pain nearly split him in two.
.... Suddenly Kylee was standing on the edge of a precipice and the sky was blood red.
When she turned to face him,her pretty Asian face was streaked with tears.
"You have doomed us all,Lucien,"she said.
She was cradling some sort of white orb in her arms.It emanated terrible power.
"Kylee, I don't understand.What have I done?"
"Actions have consequences, husband."
"But what did I do?"
"Love is your downfall,Lucien.Because you love so deeply we are all doomed "
"I don't understand you,Kylee! You're speaking in riddles!"
"Only with your death will there be some glimmer of hope,"the hallucination said."The only way is death. Farewell,my love...."
She began to disintegrate back into atoms as she had done two thousand years in the past.
"Kylee,wait!"
Too late.
The vision faded and when he was conscious again there was a pretty young woman standing in front of him with dark hair and big round eyes.She wore a black mini-skirt and her expression spit daggers.
"What the hell just happened?"
"I don't know,miss.Who are you?And how did you get aboard my time machine?"
"Oh,krist,they said you were crazy!"
"Who told you that?"
"Mr Piddy,you come any closer and I'll scream rape!"
"I beg your pardon!"
She looked wildly around as though she didn't recognize the place.
"What the hell is this? This ain't KRTV! Where's the studio?"
"This isn't a tv studio.This is the Helios.My time machine.It's composed of living neutronics."
"Oh,fuck, you're crazy,Mr Piddy! I'm getting the cops!"
She saw the space door and made a break for it.
"We are in space! You'll be sucked out into death!"
He tried to wrestle her away but the she-devil raked at his face with her fingernails.
In the commotion they fell to the floor in a jumbled mess.
Suddenly
BOOM
The ship made impact with something!
Captain Space managed to escape her and got to the navigation system.
Nefarious.
"That's odd,"he said,more to himself than to her,"I was just orbiting the Moons around Mook before you dropped in.That's trillions of light years away.How did we get to Nefarious?"
He scanned the time strata and recoiled in horror.
00000000000000000000000000000000000000
"This is impossible! According to the readings we are back at the very beginning of time!"
He didn't have very long to ponder this unexpected turn of events.
Smash!
He buckeled as a tremendous force came down on his cranium.
Through the tears misting his eyes he saw the girl force open the door and run out screaming bloody murder.
Her high heeled shoes lay on the floor where she had dropped them.They had certainly done a number on his scull!
"Oh,dear,"he muttered,"of all the people to be stuck with, it's an American...."
-
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Nefarious wasn't what he remembered from a century before.
A purple Sun hung in the obscene red sky like some angry grape.
Gone were the lush green forests, replaced by scorching deserts.
Huge boulders littered the landscape,like a child's discarded toys.
It were as though some un- godly hand had reached down with a brush, painting over everything.
In the distance a lone mountain loomed against the nightmarish backdrop.
As he watched in astonishment, a brilliant shaft of light shot up from somewhere in the mountain and blasted into the sun overhead.
The sight of the American girl a few yards distant tore his attention away.
She was in the act of studying something vaguely familiar.
Then it dawned on him.
"I shouldn't touch that if I were you,"he called urgently.
She withdrew her hand as if though from a viper.
"Is it poisonous?"
"No.But it's effects are just as lethal."
The object in question was a black Herklayen Rose Bush,native only to the planet Nefarious.
"Well,if it ain't poison what's the problem?"
He carefully pointed to the hidden thorns beneath the leaves.
"You were about to touch it,"he said.
""Yeah,so?"
"This is a fascinating specimen.It's called the Herklayen Rose.If by chance you had touched those thorns,even in the slightest degree .....you would become pregnant.Regardless of copulation."
"Man, you're pulling my leg,"the girl laughed nervously.
"No.It contains alien enzymes that I have yet to study.You're not in Kansas anymore,young lady."
"Like duhhh.We're in Death Valley.I was here once with some friends.You must have slipped me a Mickey."
A Mickey Finn.Product of the nineteen forties.A knock out pill.It brought to mind old black and white films where the hero is slipped one in his martini and wakes up tied to a chair with a black jack smashing him across his kisser.A sultry blonde sits stop a piano in some smoky nightclub, singing sad melodies and the owner of the joint keeps casting furtive glances at the doorway, expecting trouble.....
"No,miss....What is your name,by the way?"
"Brail Collingsworth."
"Well,Miss Collingsworth,my name is-"
"What the fuck is that!"
He followed her finger and it led to a....
"Heavens! It's a juvenile brachiosaurus."
The dinosaur watched them from about two hundred feet away,munching on scrub growing around the rocks.
"It,too,must have landed here during that time distortion,"he mused."Dinosaurs aren't native to Nefarious."
"What the hell are you talking about? It's right there."
"So it is.What I meant to say is that somehow we were all thrown together in a dimensional storm."
"Huh?Are you on something?"
"No,Brail,but something very wrong has occurred.We are back at the beginning of time and it doesn't make any sense.For instance,"he waved to the desolation around them."None of this is right . Nefarious was a paradise one hundred years ago.I was here with another earth girl.Holly Ryder.She was fascinated by the same plant that fascinates you.And there were Bird People.Everywhere.There's no sign of them now."
Something seemed to disturb the young dinosaur and it began to move away.There was nothing but dust devils circulating in the air.
"What happened to Holly Ryder?"
"She died back in the Thirties.On earth.She was eighty seven.The other one didn't have that time span."
"Wait a minute,what?"
"Well,there was a planet called Strellus 9.It was directly in the path of an incoming asteroid.I had to clone myself and Holly to go into the center of the planet to blow up the core.Afterwhich I was able to fix a tractor beam and got it out of the way.Millions of lives were saved."
The memory of them waving farewell as they entered the tunnel faded quickly.
"I'm afraid myself and the other Holly died in the explosion.There was no other way.Duplicates only had a twenty four hour lifespan back then.They would have only degenerated into a puddle of mud in the end,better they died heroes."
"Wow.And why did the other Holly leave you?"
"Because I couldn't love her the same way she loved me,Brail.I dropped her back on earth.Her mother forced her into an unhappy marriage and she died miserable and childless."
"You really are the world's biggest asshole,Mr Piddy," she said."Just like every other man I've known!"
"You must understand, I am not what you think,"he told her."I'm only part human.I was born a Roman patrician.The emperor Valerian was a friend of mine until one day he wasn't.He had me murdered and I bled to death in a gutter.I had left to urinate and the guard stuck a dagger in my back.I remember blackness and then I awoke in a cloud of static.It was the Telemartian race.They are pure electromagnetic energy.They filled me with their own atomic energy and I even married one of them.Her human form was a beautiful woman named Kylee.When she became pregnant that was crossing the line.Too often in the past the Telemartian's had interbred with humans and with disastrous consequences... because of me they returned to ethereal matter."
"That's some trip.So how old are you?"
"Nearly two thousand years old,by your reckoning.I was allowed to have the Helios.It's made up of neutrinos.That's how I can travel through time."
"It looks like a godamn toilet," she said,looking at it."If I didn't know better I might sneak in there to piss."
The sound of thunder suddenly roared across the heavens.
They looked up but it wasn't rain on the horizon.It was a silver rocket ship a few hundred feet in the air.On it's side was the familiar planet and star emblem.
"It's the Galaxy Police.They must be searching for something.Or someone.We better stay close to the ship."
The Helios had somehow managed to stay halfway upright after the crash.Indeed,it looked like a porta -john you'd see at a rock festival.
"I had to change the shape only a few hours ago,in Barnstable Massachusetts.It used to look like a trash dumpster.But when they tried to empty it into a garbage truck I decided to go with a toilet.I was at the state fair to apprehend a pair of man eating gorillas disguised as a side show.I snuck in on them while they were asleep in their cryo-units.Locked them in and took them back to prison on Mook."
Suddenly the girl shivered,even though it was probably 105 degrees in the sun.
"I think a ghost just walked through me,"she said."I just felt something weird."
There was indeed something in the air around them,a slight tingle sensation.It raised the hair on their bodies.Concentrated energy.
Then they saw it: A swirl of energy between them and the safety of the ship.
It was a time portal.
"Quickly,run for the time machine!"
Before she could react a man sized termite stepped out of nowhere and knocked her to the ground.
It leveled a laser rifle on them and three more humanoid types stepped out.
These were ape men with cruel fangs hanging out of their mouths.
All four of them wore the same silver space suits with a glaring eye on the breast.
"Stay where you are,"the bug commanded."If you want to live you'll listen to me."
"There's a Galactic Council rocket in the area,"the Roman warned him."If you kill us you'll have to answer to them."
"We know about it.They're the least of our worries.We got someone worse on our trail."
The insectoid looked over at the Helios.
"You're our ticket outa here,"he said.
One of the ape creatures grabbed the American girl by her hair and yanked her head back.Stuck a knife to her throat.
"I know who you are, Captain.I know what you're capable of.One wrong move and he'll open her throat."
"Don't harm her,"the scientist pleaded ."I will do whatever you say."
"Alright,Garfag,put your knife back in it's sheath.Captain,get that thing started."
The ape grudgingly complied.Still,he kept a tight grip on her.
"You have a time teleporter.Why do you need my machine?"
"Shut up,old man.Every minute we waste talking puts us all in the cross hairs.He can track us."
He gestured towards the space craft and the Captain had no choice but to lead the way.
He unlocked the door and went towards the ignition switch.
A scream from outside made the termite turn momentarily.
That was all he needed.
With a sudden karate chop the Captain knocked the rifle out of his hands and slashed at his right eye with a knife hand chop.
The bug screamed in pain and grabbed at his eye.
The Roman picked up the gun and ran outside.
Brail was on the ground struggling beneath the ape-man with the knife.
The other two were distracted and never knew what killed them.
Bzzzzzzzzzt
The remaining criminal turned to see what the commotion was and Brail grabbed at the knife and began viciously stabbing him in the throat.
The space monster screamed and pitched over quivering.
"You can stop now,Brail,"the Captain said gently."He's dead."
"Son of a bitch!" the girl panted."I grew up fighting creeps like you.You ain't the first one who's tried to rape me!"
Captain Space looked over at the spot where the others had stood watching only moments before.
They were a pile of ashes.
He never liked to kill,indeed,tried to avoid it.But in moments like these you were left with no other choice.
It was then that the last pirate came staggering out of the time machine.
Before he knew what was happening,Brail grabbed the rifle from his grasp and pointed it at the bug.
"Fucker!"
"Brail, don't!"
She didn't listen.
Bzzzzzzzt
She fired off a burst and it got him in the abdomen.The insectoid fell to the sand a corpse.
It was then that he finally heard it.
A low whisper somehow.It seemed to be coming from the air itself.The planet was alive and it was talking to them.
It was telling them to kill.
-
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