Time is precious.
I didn't realise how precious until I was trying to find the pieces of my children beneath the sea of broken red poppies.
The crushed stems and broken heads littered what was once a beautiful memory I wanted them to share.
I had grown up in this very field and experienced things that would break a human child. They almost broke me when we had to turn to savage ways to survive. 280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqZipcmbvi1
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Amongst the gnawed bones of my siblings and my mother's desperation, there were glimmers of happiness in old memories now shattered.
The same brother I had chased playfully through these flowers and dared to creep beyond our mother's watchful eyes with was now dead by my hands. Ried's body loomed over the flowers blanketing him, free from the skin that used to hide the creature we both were.
We had shared everything. Love, hate, even the same partner who I had claimed as my own and raised this fleeting family with.
Silas wouldn't understand the bond we had. It ran deeper than anything a human ever could have. Between demons, and blood brothers, killing him was like tearing out a piece of my own heart.
He didn't make me shed a tear for him however. The only ones I cried so openly for were my lost children torn apart before me. 280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQUAzlh26R
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I was the protector of my family; as was he to his. Sobbing hysterically over a brother's death I couldn't change would only throw shame onto me. It would tarnish my image and make me look weak to anyone else wanting to hunt down my blood. 280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxhRd7C9wmC
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I was already risking it all by letting my emotions flow freely for my own children.
I needed every ounce of strength I had to keep us safe. If an image and reputation alone could save the rest of my family, then I was going to dry my tears and hold myself up proudly like the spider demon everyone saw walking this broken field.
I felt the blood billow with every cautious step that I took. My legs sank into the mud and stained my fur tangling with torn petals and sticky stems.
These flowers held so much meaning. They meant hope in a place that was once dark; laughter in fields dyed red with blood and tears.
Now they tried to bury the pieces of my children amongst them.
I dragged up a tiny hand to clutch it close as I saw the body connected to it dangle beneath me. The insides collapsed to the ground when I lifted my sweet Sage into my arms and smothered her against my fur.
Her face looked so terrified. Her light silver eyes were frozen in a wide stare boring through me when I scraped together her torso to clutch it against her. 280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrx3Zo8oyq3
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The light pink speckles on her dark skin always reminded me of petals on the surface of water reflected by the night's sky.280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGVJRCe0NOI
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She had laughed when I told her that, more interested in trying to catch a frog from the water we gazed into.
I could still hear her screaming for Silas when Ried had lifted her up to break her body and toss it aside so casually.
She had no chance of escape, and I had been too far to save her.
I choked, feeling my chest twist itself into knots as I blinked up at the sky to try and hold back my tears.
You can do this. You are strong.
Jayce was the next I found when I carried both halves of Sage with me to the body of her brother. He had tried to leap bravely out of the way when I was still running for Reid who tore through him like nothing.
His caramel skin had trails of tears stained through his dirty face. Just earlier he had been launching himself from trees with no fear.
He had my eyes; lifeless and fixed on the mud that smeared over his face and trickled into his mouth to coat his chipped tooth.
He was so proud of that damn thing. He saw it as some sort of battle scar, trying to compare it to my blind eye.
I let him too. Despite Silas' worry, I was proud of how fearless he was.
You can do this.
I lifted Jayce up carefully to pile onto his sister. He always complained about his broken arm to me, the right one; so I made sure to let it hang over mine.
Right. Knox was just up a bit further....
He had been the first one Reid had killed when they were sprinting back for us. They had covered so much ground in their happiness to be the first to reach the farmer's house sitting in the distance.
I had pushed for them to run ahead for it too. I had left them unguarded because of a memory of something I desperately wanted to bring them joy too. 280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiyIf3p29QQ
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I had been out of reach when they screamed out for their Daddy and tried to claw their way back to my protection...
I blinked up again, pausing before peering down at my little Knox.
He was identical to his brother I held. It was like I was discovering Jayce again, left to die in the mud and flowers.
His whole side had been torn out. I saw where his little hands had gripped at the gaping wound, tangled in his insides that piled beside him. 280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLtPt2ZzCWh
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He had died slowly. I saw the pain in his lifeless eyes and the muddy tears down his face. 280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8xije8IoEV
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He had been just a few meters from Jayce who his other hand reached towards.280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgrFLT3M30V
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They had always been together. Jayce was the leader and Knox followed along. In a way, they were exactly like Reid and I had been.
It wasn't easy. My arms were bundled with bodies that I held against my own. They dangled and dripped, slipping when I tried to push them back against me.
I wasn't going to let anything else happen to them. I had to give my children the passing they needed.
I heard wailing in the air when I hunted the poppies for the other bodies. 280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzzcLHNJPyK
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I turned to the farmhouse, expecting it to be the mournful noise of the woman I remembered who lived inside long ago. 280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDaDclvQ5Fm
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But this sounded different. It wasn't a human noise at all. It was too blaring and demanding; everywhere at once but nowhere to be seen.
It was coming from down the road running beside the field. I could only turn my head to try and move the darkness in my vision to see what was approaching.
The absence of the source only made me aware of how rattled I had become. I felt the desperation course through me when I rushed to find the others.
I had only found three of the seven I knew were dead. Out of our hearty family of twelve, five had survived. I wasn't sure which five heads I had seen bobbing through the flowers with their father who rushed them to the safety of the trees and back towards home, and that's what scared me the most.
Boasting such big numbers for a brood was no easy task. With a male human mate and such a large mortality rate on birth for my species, the task of family seemed impossible until it all bloomed at once.
Now, we were back where we started. Five was not enough to keep my line going. We were limited on options and had time itself against us.
I needed to help my children pass over so I could find Silas and try again as soon as possible.
He wouldn't agree to the idea, but he had no choice. Seeing at how easily and quickly we had lost our family to a demon I knew had me panicked at how easily the rest of them could be slaughtered as they ran blindly back home.
The wailing grew louder and shrieked its way up to the fence of the field when I finally found Nevira crushed into the ground. 280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZgyoxyuHgS
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I could barely tell her skin from the mud that covered her curled frame, hiding the fact that her spine had been snapped when I lifted her up.
Her body dangled in ways it shouldn't have. Her wide amethyst eye matched mine, the other gouged out in an old wound that left the socket visible. Her sister had the same wound but in the opposite eye. Usually they were glued together through their mutual trauma, but I couldn't see Remi anywhere around Nevira.
Nevira always protected her so fiercely. Had Remi been one of the five to escape? Even with her limited vision?
They hated their missing eyes and the way the gaping socket made stares focus on them. Sympathy from strangers always made both girls peek from their shells and drink in the compliments on their bravery and beauty; probably enough that they surprisingly refused to have fakes instead. Both always wore a bandana, which was now missing from Nevira's face.
I placed Nevira onto Knox to search for it. She would never have wanted anyone to see her like this. Even in death, she deserved dignity.
I remembered she had worn a yellow one today. I had helped her tie it on while she had smiled about how it looked like a sunflower. Remi had gone for green, which was her favourite one. It had a rip in the side from being loved so much.
My chest knotted again and stabbed up into my throat that choked me.
Tears snaked down my fur before falling onto Nevira's body at the top of the pile I smothered.
No.
Yellow and green. I could find that amongst red and brown.
Yellow and green. Yellow and green. 280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPzMxtEen9X
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You can do that, Quinton.
It was so hard to focus with the wailing drumming into my brain.
I turned to see several vehicles scattered on the other side of the fence with uniformed people pooling out of them. 280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRCkJGeUlWK
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A sea of white and blue swarmed the fence, leaking over the barrier and into the field.
Trampling the flowers. Stomping on where my babies could be laying.
No! I hadn't found them all yet! I needed more time!
I held the bodies close to me while the uniforms fanned out and slowly crept towards me.
I needed to find the bandana. I had to see if Remi was somewhere near her sister. I had to help them pass on properly.
Humans wouldn't understand. Their souls needed to be freed in a way that was different to trapping it underground.
Silas would never forgive me if he were here to witness it. He'd see the passing as something barbaric and feral. He'd sever all ties with me as my mate in an instant.
It's the way it must be. The way to free their soul and pass their lost lives into new ones.
I couldn't let any of my children be lost to the dirt or the humans combing for them.
I lowered the pile to the ground. Bodies rolled and laid in the flowers limply. I saw the encrusted insides of Sage's torso and picked it up to cradle it.
Tears ran and I didn't try to withhold them. The last time I had done this was when I was a child and food was scarce. It had been survival back then; fighting for scraps. There was no honour in sending their spirits away like that.
With the humans closing in, I snapped my mandible into the insides to year them from Sage's body. I sawed through them, devouring the dirt and grit coating every inch of tackiness.
Her spirit needed to pass. It wasn't going to trapped like this.
I heard the gasps and shouts of the humans when I tore the skin from her limbs and let the blood spill over her siblings beneath me.
I needed to work quickly. I still had to find the others and free them before these humans intervened and doomed them.
With each freeing tear through the body, I spun webs around the bones left behind. Encased and finally free, Sage was lowered to the flowers so I could pick up Knox.
The humans rushed for me, fanning to try and snatch for my children beneath me I guarded. 280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4qjMB2bMMV
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Others combed the flowers frantically to try and recover the others lost somewhere around me.
There was no care in the way I freed Knox. With the humans lunging like rabid dogs wanting to pick the scraps, I was forced to try and free him as quickly as possible.280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW5qXX95jAK
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It felt wrong, but he would understand it was for his best interest.
With the wailing and shouting, I was distracted from the sudden stabbing I felt in one of my legs protecting my children.
I kept weaving the webs as I glared at it to see a purple thistle protruding from me. 280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJDGtjH896
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I didn't even have time to try and pluck it out when several more spotted beneath the top one.
The soft purple thistle burned and boiled beneath my skin. It spread up my leg, sizzling and numbing every muscle on the way.
The bones in my leg liquified to join the coldness swimming inside. It collapsed, unable to hold me up any longer.
Knox was freed as I dragged myself back from Nevira. I could feel the icy embrace weaving into my joints and calling for me to join the flowers.
I couldn't free my children like this.
I saw greedy hands scoop up a pale arm and then the body it was torn from. I knew it was my brave Cora even before the tearful blue eyes of her decapitated head turned to mine in a frozen cry that disappeared into a bag.
There was nothing I could do to save her. It was demeaning to think they only saw me as a hungry animal rather than a father desperately trying to save his children.
I had never been darted before, but I knew if I fell here, I'd never see my family again.
I couldn't do that to Silas or our children. I couldn't do that to myself.280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJAGjgFLlv
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If I didn't return, another would replace me and my family would be wiped clean in an instant.
I had to run. To save everything I had left.
Darts peppered up my other leg and shot into the top of my face before I peeled myself from Nevira and Jayce to flee for the trees.
I couldn't look back. I didn't want to see the greedy hands bagging up what I had abandoned. I couldn't risk being blinded by the darts still trying to numb what feeling I clung to.
Even amongst the leaves, I powered on. I kept running for where I knew it was safe. Branches crushed under my faltering legs and leaves clung to the torn poppies still glued to my fur.
The icy embrace burned up my body. It destroyed the bones in my legs to make me hobble along the path towards home.
When I heard the sound of rushing water, I felt my heart soar. I couldn't hear the wailing or shouting anymore. Just the sweet sound of the river we had crossed together only this morning.
Home was just a little bit further. It was within reach. I was going to be safe.
I sprinted for the edge as my bones were torn from me. Forcing every inch of my body to power onwards, I leapt and slammed into the other side. 280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRCCmjR7i7m
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Everything had gone numb. I scrabbled for the dirt desperately but only felt the flood inside me slap at the leaves uselessly.
Collapsing into the water, I felt it caress and wash over my frozen skin. It pulled the blood and flowers from my fur to scatter it around me. Leaves danced on the ripping surface, pouring and pulling at the darts still embedded into my outstretched legs reaching for my home that was washed away in a wave of darkness.
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