During the following weeks, I spent a lot of time in the hospital. I keep Chad company, read to him, tell him the latest high school gossip and try to support him in the few homework assignments I bring him. His doctor said he can study a little, but without getting tired, and I think Chad gets so bored locked in his room alone that he ends up enjoying working, even math. It's been almost two months since the accident, everyone has returned to their lives, everyone except Amy's parents who are having a lot of trouble getting back on track. His father continues his work as an engineer, devoting himself fully to it, as for his mother, she only leaves home to go to the cemetery where she spends most of her time. All their loved ones, my family included, are waiting for time to do its work and for their pain to become less.
Dan and Hanna, Chad's parents, come to see him every evening and on weekends. I come every day after school, I stay until they arrive, so he is not alone. His mouth still has an odd shape, hanging on one side, but he manages to speak a little better, although he is still far from being able to talk for hours. Nina comes to see him a lot, but she always comes out with tears in her eyes, it hurts her lot to see him in this state. She celebrated her fourteenth birthday and, as she blew out her candles, I suspected the wish she made. Chad seems to take pleasure in seeing her and I must admit that, despite her young age, my sister is devoted to him, fulfilling his every request. Also, I surprise her several times bringing him hamburgers or sweets on the sly. I act as the one who doesn't notice anything while, surreptitiously, I see the laughing glances they exchange.
— Jessy... will... come, Chad says as I read him a poem that the teacher asked us to learn for the next day.
— Not today. He signed up for a drawing class that takes place three times a week after high school.
I won't mention that I encouraged him so much to pursue painting that I ended up convincing him that he had talent. He gets a taste for things again. I love seeing his face light up when he tells me what he does as a painting. The only negative point in all this is that between his drawing classes, the times he goes to the anti AIDS center to establish his medical follow up and learn about new treatments, the evenings he spends painting without forgetting high school, we don't see each other much anymore. I miss him dearly, but I can't be selfish by keeping him only for myself while he loves painting again. Yet the intimate moments we shared in New York seem very distant to me. Since then, we have not shared any more, the fear that I had expressed before leaving the Big Apple was confirmed, despite ourselves, time seems to be moving us away from each other. In high school, we spend as much time together as possible, but other than that, we're so busy that I sometimes wonder how much longer our relationship will last. And now that spring break has started a few hours ago, I don't know to what extent we'll be able to see each other. I'm sure my feelings for him haven't changed, as for his, I can only hope so. I believe he is sincere when he tells me that he loves me, but a doubt often comes back to haunt me.
— How are you ? Chad questions me, following my nostalgic gaze.
— Yes, very good. Tomorrow, you will have a visit from Nicolas ! He comes to spend a few days at home before leaving with his friends for Spring Break.
— Nicolas… Spring Break… not compatible. Your brother... too serious.
I almost burst out laughing hearing Nick and serious in the same sentence. To think that not so long ago, I too found him too responsible to do stupid things, I no longer have the same opinion since I discovered his way of acting in New York.
— He knows how to have fun now, I just say.
When Chad's parents arrive, I take my leave like every evening, but with more eagerness at the idea of seeing my brother again. After two long months of absence, he arrives home in the evening.
Nicolas must have smelled the good meal my mother cooked, because he parks his car in the driveway right around dinner time. As usual, he spends the meal telling us about his life in New York, especially his studies, deliberately omitting to specify all the scabrous details of his single status. When late in the evening, my parents retire to their room and Nina in the arms of Morpheus, with a wink, he invites me to his apartment above the garage. Nothing has changed since his last visit. Looking back at the sofa where I cried so much, I feel the emotion of Amy's disappearance grip my heart again.
— Now that we are alone, my brother begins, choosing his words, tell me where is Jessy ? I was surprised not to see him when I arrived.
Nick goes to open his fridge, takes out two beers and hands one to me.
— Do you know a supplier or something ? You always have cans in stock.
In response, he winks at me before taking a sip.
— Jessy must be at home painting, I suppose.
My brother looks at his watch, it's after 11 p.m., and picks up the phone.
— You’re not going to call him at this time !
— I'm going to embarrass myself !
Quickly, he dials the number he knows by heart. I think they must spend a lot of time talking behind my back.
— But his mother...
Placing a finger on his lips, my brother orders me to be quiet.
— Good evening, Mrs. Sutter, it’s Nicolas Crawfords. I'm sorry to disturb you at this late hour, but I have a problem and I would like to speak to Jessy, if that's possible ?
I look at my brother with admiration. The words come out of his mouth with such ease that I forget the time myself.
— Yes, I'm fine, and you ?
I hear Elise answer him.
— Perfect. Thank you and again sorry for the inconvenience. Good night.
Noticing a change in Nick's face, I guess that Mrs. Sutter has gone to pick up my boyfriend. After a few moments, Nicolas continues :
— Hello, old brother ! So what are you doing ? I come back to Millisky and you're not even there !
Jessy responds.
— We're at the apartment, having a beer. You better get your ass back quickly !
Nicolas hangs up, looking very satisfied with himself.
— He’s coming !
I look at my beer and meditate for a long time.
— You know his phone number by heart, I finally commented.
— We talk a lot between guys.
— Are you talking about me ?
Nick raises his eyebrows, a smile appears on his face.
— In your opinion ?
— OK, I understand, you won’t tell me anything. But I hope in any case that you are not trying to shame him !
Nick bursts out laughing.
— I'm serious. We haven't seen each other much lately, so I hope that you don't advise him to follow your example by going frolicking here and there ?
— Of course not, you know me anyway.
I display a doubtful look which does not please my brother.
— OK, it’s up to me to talk to you seriously. Jessy talks to me about you all the time and that’s precisely why I urged him to come tonight. Because apparently you need to talk face to face instead of through me. As soon as he gets there...
Someone's knocking at the door.
— In between !
Jessy closes the door behind him.
— You’re crazy for calling me so late ! He says without preamble as he walks into the room.
He slaps my brother on the head as he passes. Then places a kiss on my forehead before taking a seat next to me.
— You just had to come on your own !
— I was finishing a painting !
— That’s all you’ve had on your mind for some time ! It’s great that you’re back at it, really, but don’t forget to get out of the house too. You really have a bad face !
— Thanks ! You know very well why.
I look at Jessy, it’s true that he looks tired, more so than this morning when we saw each other at school. Under the electric lighting, his complexion is pale, his eyes darkened.
— What are you talking about ? I intervene.
My boyfriend scrutinizes my brother with resentment.
— Okay, I’ll tie you both up. You... (He points at Jessy.)... You're going to explain to him why you prefer to avoid him lately. And you... (He turns his accusing finger at me.)... You're going to tell him what you really think about his drawing lessons ! Good night, lovers !
Without asking for his rest, Nicolas goes out taking his jacket and his car keys.
My heart is pounding in my chest. Jessy is avoiding me ! And he entrusted it to my brother ! I was afraid that his feelings had changed for some time, but I tried to reassure myself despite this little voice that sometimes insinuated itself into my mind. Of course, he's been more distant lately, but, unconscious as I am, I kept telling myself that it was normal, he's so busy. Incredulous, I get up from the sofa and start pacing around the apartment.
— I’m an idiot ! I whispered.
I turn around to face him, he looks at the ground, visibly uncomfortable. I accuse him while getting angry :
— Then I have to learn from my brother that you are avoiding me ! Are you planning to break up with me through him too ?
He suddenly raises his face, his features are even more drawn than when he arrived.
— I never intended to break up !
— Ah good ? However, this is the next step when avoiding someone !
— It's not what you think... It's not your fault...
— Oh no, please don’t give me the “it’s not you, it’s me”, I said, cutting him off.
Jessy jumps up from the couch, getting angry too.
— You're going to let me speak, yes ! If I haven't wanted to see you less in recent days, it's because I have a new treatment responsible for my anemia ! That’s why I have a bad face and why I’m exhausted !
I search his eyes, unable to understand his silence.
— Why didn't you tell me ?
— Because I don’t want to involve you in my health problems. I already told you, you're dating me, not AIDS.
— Do you really think that it’s by hiding things from me that our relationship will work ? I know you want to protect me from this entire universe, but the truth is you can't. If you want this to work between us, you must not leave me aside.
He pinches his lips, remains silent and I continue calmly.
— I know I haven't been very available on my part. I spent quite a bit of time in the hospital with Chad. But I'm going to go there less. Nina will replace me to read to him.
— It’s true that at the moment you spend more time with him than with me.
I see an ounce of mischief shining in his eyes.
— My darling, are you jealous ?
He walks over to me and wraps a lock of my hair around one of his fingers.
— Well, let's just say that it's never very nice to know that your girlfriend spends all her free time with her ex.
— If you gave me more hours, I wouldn't see him every day.
Smiling, he wraps his arms around my waist.
— My mother is going to Allentown this weekend. She is going to see her other son and her husband, he adds to my surprised face. Are you coming to my house for dinner Saturday night ?
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The next afternoon, I go to the hospital to see Chad. I intend to warn him that, from now on, I will come to visit him less, and that Nina will replace me for his greatest happiness. I got into the habit of going straight into his room after knocking, which I still do today. I've barely set foot on the beige linoleum when a cup of water lands in front of me. Surprised, I look up to see Chad furious, sitting on his bed, his parents standing in front of him looking at him, taken aback.
— Hello everybody. Isn't that okay ?
I ask Chad the question, but it's his mother who turns around to answer me.
— He's angry because he's scheduled to leave for Philadelphia on Monday to a rehabilitation center. The doctors here did everything they could to help him, but they are not specialized.
— I… don’t… want to go, Chad says.
— It’s for your own good, Dan says. It's not forever, a few months then you will come back having regained your abilities.
— Am... not stupid !
Chad sends the TV remote flying along the wall.
— But I didn’t say that, his father protests.
I try in turn :
— Chad, don't throw anything in my face for what I'm about to tell you, but frankly I think it's the best thing for you to do. You have made progress in recent weeks, but if this center can allow you to fully recover from this accident, then there is no need to hesitate.
He has indeed progressed, even if his steps are still unsteady, he manages to stand alone. His greatest discomfort lies in language and there I must admit that his condition is stagnating. It always pains me to see him searching for words, sometimes for several minutes, before managing to pronounce them correctly. This is also why I enter his room without waiting for his green light, otherwise I could stay behind the door waiting to get his permission for a long time.
He doesn't send anything else to the ground, but grunts in displeasure, crossing his arms. He reminds me of a child who sulks when his parents don't give in to his whims.
— All… friends… here, he finally said.
— You know, Philly is only three hours from here, we’ll come see you, I assure him. You need to think about yourself. The sooner you are fully recovered, the sooner you can get your life back on track.
— That’s what we keep telling him, his mother whispers.
— On... will you come ?
I nod with a smile and add jokingly with a grain of truth.
— Do you really think Nina will give us a choice ?
He bursts out laughing.
— OK, he gives in.
— Perfect, we'll put everything in place for the transfer on Monday, Hanna says happily before going out with Dan.
I pick up the remote and place it back on the table in front of him.
— I'll miss you.
I think before answering. I don't want to give him false hope. I'm afraid that the time spent near him has rekindled a flame that is definitely extinguished on my side.
— Jessy, Nina and I will come see you.
Hearing my boyfriend's name, I see in the way he looks away that he understands that there is no hope.
On the other hand, it's another story to explain to Nina that Chad has to leave for several months. As I had predicted, she throws herself on her bed crying. Seeing her act like this, I smile a little. How many times have I thrown myself onto my bed in tears because of him ? Too many to count back when he completely ignored me. Now, looking back, I think I'm stupid. I thought I loved Chad at that time, but it wasn't a true love like the one I share with Jessy. Chad was a little crush in my life, even if he remains a faithful friend. I'm afraid that my little sister will break her teeth on him, but I can't do anything about that. She herself will learn from her mistakes, like everyone else. I can only promise him that we will visit Chad regularly. This makes her stop crying, but looking into her eyes, I know she has a lot on her heart.
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As drawing lessons take up a lot of Jessy's time, I decide to surprise him by going to meet him at the end of his class. When the bell rings at the end of classes, the first students leave. I wait patiently but not seeing Jessy, I enter the room. The room is quite large, easels are scattered around next to small tables. I immediately see Jessy standing in the back of the room, chatting with a girl. Immediately, an arrow of jealousy pierces my heart. Jessy didn't see me, I approached while he replied :
— If you loved what you do, I’m sure you would improve.
— Maybe, but I don't like it, she puts her hand on his arm and continues : With Sam and Jack, we're going for a drink, are you coming with us ?
I can’t believe it. How dare she touch him ? ! I stare at them with a furious desire to scream. At this moment, Jessy raises his head and realizes my presence while my gaze still lingers on this cursed hand which is groping my boyfriend.
— Hey, what are you doing here ? He smiled, not bothered in the least by the situation.
I turn my inquisitive gaze on him and I have difficulty hiding my bad mood when I explain to him :
— I wanted to surprise you but maybe I'm wrong ?
— No way. I'm happy to see you.
He takes the two steps that separate us and kisses me. I would like to feel reassured but I can't, I'm too angry for that. Especially when I look back at the girl, I notice that her complexion is pale. So I was right in thinking she was hitting on Jessy.
— Meg, this is Emily. Emily, this is Megan, my girlfriend.
At Jessy's words, I wrap a possessive arm around his waist.
Yes, my darling, he’s mine !
— Nice to meet you, I say with the most insincere smile I have in reserve.
From an angle, I see Jessy pursing his lips to hold back a laugh. He knows me well and already knows that this girl is messing with my system.
— Me too, she says, giving me back my fake smile. Well I have to go. See you next week Jessy.
— Yeah, hello.
Without asking for her rest, she leaves the class. I move away from Jessy and let my anger explode :
— What was that ?
— Nothing, she’s just a friend.
But of course ! I roll my eyes.
— Well let's see, this girl was flirting with you when I arrived.
— Not at all, he replies with a small smile.
— Oh please ! “We’re going to have a drink, are you coming with us ?” I imitate Emily.
— I'm just trying to make new friends, nothing more, he pleads.
— And I'm happy with it, but not when another girlturn around !
Not knowing what to say anymore, I leave the room, Jessy following behind to his car.
— Are you going to make fun of me the whole way ? Jessy asks me as I sulk, arms crossed over my chest.
Of course, I don't answer. As soon as I arrive in front of my house, I get out of the car and walk quickly towards the house. I see my father in the garage driveway, busy painting shutters, watching us.
— If you want to continue to annoy me as much as I go home, Jessy shouts behind my back.
I turn around quickly :
— Do what you want !
— Megan, don’t you think you’re exaggerating ?
My eyes widen in astonishment.
— Am I exaggerating ? I cry out. Because it's my fault I found you being flirted with and groped by a girl. And to top it all off, you didn’t seem to mind !
— You're saying nonsense ! I was just chatting with a friend, nothing more, and you weren't supposed to be there !
My father lowers his head and shakes it negatively as my eyes glare at Jessy on the spot.
He dares to tell me that ? ! It's the world upside down !
I growl in displeasure and enter the house, slamming the door behind me, angrier than ever.
My feet tap the hardwood floors as I climb the stairs, reaching my room. I slam the door behind me once again and sit down on my bed. Tears come to my eyes and I have to make an effort to swallow them back. Why doesn't Jessy understand that seeing him with another girl scares me ? That every second I fear losing him ?
A few minutes later, while I was still mulling over my anger, three small knocks were heard on my door. I don't have time to answer as it opens and Jessy closes it behind him.
— The door must remain open, I remind him abruptly.
— I know, but I don't care. I need to talk to you and I don't want your whole family to hear me.
I don't move, waiting for him to speak.
— Megan, I’m sorry for what I said to you outside. I didn't mean it.
— I wanted to surprise you by coming to join you, it was very successful, I mutter under my breath.
Jessy starts pacing in front of my bed, seeming to be trying to figure out what to say without making me more upset.
— I'm sorry. I know what you thought you saw when you arrived in the room...
— I didn't think I saw her ! This girl was hitting on you !
— Emily is just a classmate. I give her a helping hand when she is lost. The story ends there, he explains to me calmly.
— She was groping you ! And this is not the first !
— What do you mean, not the first ? He questions, narrowing his eyes.
— Amy !
I refresh his memory, still furious as he stops walking to stare at me.
— Hold on ! The only time Amy laid a hand on me was during Chad's party, the day I arrived at high school. You and I weren't together, we hadn't even spoken to each other at the time !
— Still, you should have guessed what was going to happen between us and not let her touch you !
Jessy bursts out laughing. Immediately, I glare at him again.
— Megan, sweetheart, I think you're going a little off the rails there. And need I remind you that thirty seconds later your lips were on Chad's ! He replies in an amused tone.
Damn, it's true !
— Coming back to Emily, she wasn't groping me, she just had her hand on my arm. So yes, she invited me for a drink but there would have also been two other students and, anyway, I was going to refuse to go when you arrived. Because I wanted to see you !
He lowers his voice to add :
— Honestly Meg, after what happened between us, how can you still doubt me ? You are well placed to know that if anyone has the right to touch me, it’s you and no one else !
I look away. I need to stop imagining Jessy holding this girl, holding Haley while he makes love to her. Why does this vision come back to haunt me as soon as my fear of losing him manifests itself ?
— Okay, he sighs at my heavy silence. I'll let you calm down tonight, but I really hope that tomorrow you realize how stupid this story is. You're throwing a tantrum over a girl I barely know and who means nothing to me.
He opens my door and turns to me one last time to confess :
— I can't go back to change what happened, I can only look ahead, as you keep telling me. So I understand that it's difficult for you to imagine the moment when my life changed with Haley. But Emily is not Haley. And I'm not who I was back then.
At these words, I gasped in surprise. He understood what made me angry, I let the tears flow that I had been holding back since I saw him with Emily.
— I’ve only ever loved you, Meg, he whispers, closing my bedroom door behind him.
With tears in my eyes, I stare at my door for a few seconds. I go down the stairs just as Jessy gets to his car, he focuses his gaze on the living room window I'm standing in front of. I don't want to see him go, ever !
— Jessy !
I run across the lawn and throw myself into his arms. Immediately, he lifts me off the ground, I cross my legs around his waist, burying my face in his neck.
— I'm sorry. I love you Jessy.
He tightens the pressure around my body and with this gesture, I realize that he forgives me.
— I understand, sweetie. I know that I ask a lot of you between my illness and my past…
— No, I'm just jealous. I'm afraid that you'll meet a girl better than me and that you'll leave me, I admit, my face still buried in his neck because I don't dare look at him.
— Better than you ? He repeats, incredulous. Meg, you are perfect. For me, there is not and will never be another girl who can surpass you. I find you magnificent on all levels, physically, emotionally and intellectually.
He gently places me on the ground but I keep my hands on his neck as my heart beats a thousand miles an hour at the compliments he gave me.
— I know that’s not true but thank you for being so kind.
— Of course it is, it’s true !
I wonder if I can believe him... Leaving my doubts aside, I pull him into my arms and we kiss with a mixture of tenderness and passion.
— You are my ideal. Your past, your illness, are not obstacles, never imagine the opposite Jessy. I think I'm just jealous of the girls you've known before, of those who want to be close to you and of those who want to be.
His smile is radiant as he places his forehead against mine to confess :
— I feel the same way about you. But I won't let anyone come between us. I waited too long for you to risk losing you.
Reassured, I snuggle into his arms, where I belong.
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On Saturday evening, I arrived at Jessy's house as planned.
— I’m in the kitchen, he says to me when I walk through the door.
After putting down my coat, I'm going to join him. He is cooking pasta. I think he looks better than the day before. He is dressed in a sky blue denim shirt and black pants. As usual, seeing him, butterflies seem to take flight in the pit of my stomach. It is a sweet sensation to which is added the accelerating heartbeat.
— Hello, you, he said to me before his lips brushed mine.
— I can help you ?
— No, I'm almost finished. Sit down.
I take a seat on a high stool behind the bar in the American kitchen. Mrs. Sutter, who is a very good cook, chose her equipment carefully. Pots of various sizes hang above the work surface. The white cupboards contain everything you need to make delicious meals.
— It doesn’t bother you too much that your mother went to see her husband ?
From behind, I see Jessy's shoulders tense as he takes a small can of tomato sauce from one of the cupboards in front of him.
— Honestly, yes... I mean, he's her husband so I understand, but I also know what he thinks of me. My mother would like to make him see reason... However, for my part... (He shakes his head in denial while opening the box.)... Even if she succeeds, nothing will ever be the same again. Ouch !
He is holding one finger. I jump off the stool and approach him.
— It's nothing, I just cut myself. Stay where you are.
He runs his hand under cold water, then grabs the can of sauce which he angrily throws in the trash while grumbling :
— Damn, that’s not true ! I've had it up to here !
I see the blood reappear on his cut skin.
— I'm going to put a bandage on.
He heads to the bathroom on the ground floor.
I follow him to find something to disinfect the wound.
— Do you know if you have alcohol ?
He gives me an eloquent look which alone means :
“As if I could do without it.”
— Sorry... But that's the kind of question I wouldn't ask if you didn't keep me out of this part of your life.
— In the medicine cabinet behind you.
I see that there is cotton next to the bottle of alcohol, bandages on the shelf below and sterilized gloves.
I take it all.
— Thank you, I’ll take care of it.
— Let me help you...
— Megan... no.
I put on the gloves before soaking the cotton with alcohol.
— Give your finger.
He stares at me intensely.
— Jessy, let me into your life. Stop keeping me at a distance, I fear nothing.
Feverishly, he holds out his hand to me. With careful gestures, I disinfect the wound which stops bleeding then wraps the tip of his finger in a bandage.
— Add some tape on top, please, just in case.
His voice trembles. I do as he asks, then take off the gloves and throw them in the trash. When I turn to face him, his head is down, but I see two tears rolling down his cheeks.
— How are you ? I ask with concern.
He nods.
— I will never understand how you can put your hands on me despite…
His voice cracks. I lean closer to him, hold his face with both hands and force him to look at me. With my thumbs, I wipe the tears from his cheeks.
— I love you.
He hugs me against him.
— I love you so much, he whispered to me.
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A little later after having dined on cheese pasta, due to lack of tomato sauce, I tell Jessy the latest events, and in particular Chad's departure for Philadelphia two days later.
— It’s bad for him, he’ll find himself far from his family, his friends. But on the other hand, I'm relieved to see him move away a little, he admits with a little smile.
— Get away from me ? That's what you mean, right ?
I love seeing Jessy jealous. In those moments, I know he would be ready to fight the first guy who tried to take me away from him. This thought always makes me smile and comforts me.
— If one of my exes came around to me tomorrow, how would you take it ? He teases me.
— Oh, it’s not hard, I’ll get her out quickly, I told him, laughing.
He takes my hand across the table and squeezes it tenderly.
— I suppose you'll have to go home ?
I glance at the street, which is already dark, then at the clock which reads 10 : 38 p.m.
— As it’s Saturday, I have permission until 11 p.m., I said, grimacing.
— Damage. For once my mother isn't here, we could have taken the opportunity to have you spend the night here.
I feel my cheeks burn and swarms of butterflies take flight in my stomach. We haven't had any tender moments together since New York, and I miss the closeness of his body as much as it disturbs me.
— I would have loved to, but if I don’t come home, my father will show up at your house.
— We really need to find a way to be alone from time to time without having our parents on our backs. What if we took another trip to New York before the end of the school year ?
— Serious ?
I rejoice when I get up. Jessy still holds my hand, I walk around the table to sit on his lap and put my arms around his neck.
— Very serious, he says with a big smile. Since everything went well last time, I think your parents will agree that we go back, and Nicolas said we can go see him whenever we want, so...
— Especially after the stunt he pulled on us last night, throwing our confidences like that in the middle of the room before leaving.
— This will at least have allowed us to sort everything out. I didn't know that you took a dim view of my drawing classes.
— That's not the case, I just told Nick that it's great that you're rediscovering your passion for painting, but that, because of this, we don't see each other much anymore and that I miss you a lot.
— That much ? Jessy asks with a mischievous smile.
— Moreover !
His lips, at first soft on mine, strengthen their support while his tongue explores my mouth. His hands press my waist against him, awakening his manhood. When his mouth leaves my lips to slide down my neck, I feel myself suffocating. Jessy lifts his face and looks at me intently, then he glances at the clock.
— We really need to go back to New York !
He confirms.
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The next afternoon, we find Nick in the bedroom of his apartment, he is preparing his luggage to leave for Miami.
— Lucky guy ! You're going to go partying in the sun, you have a chance ! I want you.
— You will too in a few years.
— Frankly, it doesn’t tempt me that much, said Jessy, leaning against my brother’s wardrobe.
— It’s because you two are way too serious !
— Not that much ! We have something to ask you.
Interested, Nick stops sorting his clothes to observe us in turn.
— Could we come back to see you in New York before the end of June ?
My brother gives us a knowing smile.
— I already told you, you come whenever you want.
He grabs a Hawaiian shirt, examines it for a moment before continuing :
— I'll get you two rooms this time.
— Uh... I think a room like last time will be enough for us, breathes Jessy, his cheeks taking on a pretty pink color.
Nick folds his shirt and puts it in his suitcase.
— If I understand correctly, we’re both getting a little looser, he teases us as our faces turn red. I guess I should talk to the parents about this before I leave ?
— I would prefer, I said, biting my lower lip.
— All right.
Jessy gives him a friendly pat on the back while admitting :
— Luckily we have you with us.
— You don’t think you say that well, buddy. Imagine that I have been thinking of you these last few days. And I found it somewhat unfair that I could do whatever I wanted in New York while you were stuck here between your parents.
Jessy and I exchange questioning glances, while Nick smiles toothily.
— So, I have a little gift for you. I thought you might need a little privacy, so I made each of you a copy of the keys to this apartment so you can find your way there whenever you want.
He takes two keys out of the back pockets of his jeans and hands them to us.
— Nick, you’re the best !
I jump on his neck. And Jessy gives him another pat on the back, thanking him.
— You're welcome, but I put two conditions on it. The first is, please don't get caught ! I'll tell Dad that I took the keys with me, that way he won't come and bother you, but if he sees you, we'll all be screwed.
— We will be careful. Is that why you closed the blinds ?
When I arrived, I noticed that it was darker than usual and all the curtains were drawn.
— I hope you'll be careful. In fact, I closed everything since last night in anticipation. It would have seemed weird if I had plunged the apartment into darkness at the last minute before leaving. And the second condition, he said with the greatest seriousness, making me fear the worst. I want to be able to sleep in clean sheets when I come back, so do whatever you want, but change the sheets before I get back !
Jessy bursts out laughing while I remain silent with embarrassment.
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An hour later, Nicolas puts his suitcase in the trunk of his car, the whole family is gathered outside to say goodbye. He starts by giving Jessy a hug, then a hug to Nina. When he turns to me, he gives me a knowing wink before taking me in his arms. When he arrived in front of our parents, he spoke, addressing my father in particular :
— I invited Meg and Jessy to come back to see me in New York for a few days.
My father turns to us, I have the feeling of sinking into the asphalt under his piercing gaze.
— I see no reason to refuse. I know that with you watching, it's okay, they're safe in the Big Apple.
Next to me, I see Jessy holding back a smile. Nick smiles openly, but with joy at the idea that we will see him again soon.
— Jessy, you’ll have to ask your mother for permission, my father continues.
— I’m an adult, my boyfriend kindly reminds him.
My father pats himself on the forehead.
— That's right, I forgot, but you'll talk to her about it anyway, so she doesn't think our family is kidnapping you.
— Of course, no problem.
— Perfect since that’s settled, young people, I’ll be waiting for you soon at my place. We'll do like last time, we'll stick together for a few days.
Inwardly, I beg Nick not to do too much as I'm afraid my parents will suspect something, but curiously this last sentence delights my father who displays a big satisfied smile. There's no denying that my brother is really good at coaxing parents and for that reason alone I admire him. He hugs our parents for one last hug before getting into the car. The exhaust pipe hums when he starts, then the loud noise dies down as he drives away.
Gratefully, we wave goodbye to him while in our pockets hide the keys to his apartment.
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