Dear K,
You're constantly on my mind. I seem to relate everything I see to you. I wish I could stop but I think it's impossible. When I'm not with you I'm thinking about you. I feel like I might vomit when I think of you too much. Maybe I've got a sickness with your name.
There's always one phrase swirling around my head when I think of you. It's the words with the most meaning. I love you. I want to scream and shout the words. I want you to know them to you so badly. Like I may go crazy if you can't know.
It's sad. Because I know I can never hold you in my arms or say those three words to you. Whenever I think about the possibility of us being a couple and getting to call you mine it's like a stab to the heart. I have all these feelings and emotions I can never say to you.
I've read about so many people like me. Those who end up as a bystander with hidden feelings, watching the one who holds their heart run away with someone else. I see you two so happy all the time. I know I should be happy my best friend finally found someone but I wish it was me holding your hand and getting to kiss you.
I don't exactly know why I'm writing this. I hope you never find out about my feelings for you. I'm scared for our friendship if I reveal this. What if you're disgusted? I don't think I could ever handle it. Though sometimes I forget you are my friend and I'm overwhelmed with the love I have for you. I might just confess right there though I'm then brought back to the painful reality.
With all my love,
D
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