I haven’t noticed until now how much I’ve been through, prepare yourselves because this is a topic I don’t usually talk about.
*disclamer - mentions of d3pr3ss10n, 4nx13ty, su1c1d3, death, etc.
I haven’t noticed my condition until just 6 months ago (1 month before I got my dog) I was informed I had silent depression (depression but you just don’t know you have it) and that kind of broke me more than before I knew that I had it, I was always locking myself in my room and cried most of the time, I hid it from my parents because I didn’t want them to worry so much. Since I didn’t tell my parents, they would usually come into my room (they have a key to my room) and say, “you’re being lazy” or “get up, you never do anything around here to help!” That only worsened my condition and I became extremely sad, you couldn’t blame me since 7 months ago, my uncle unalived himself next to my aunt’s house (I was currently there at the time of the scene, in my aunt’s house) and I’m not gonna go and say anything else because this is already a sensitive enough topic. My room was constantly a mess and I smelled terrible, I hadn’t showered in a week and I would mostly spend my days sleeping, crying, or watching TV because sometimes it calmed me down. I was and still am suffering with insecurities, but I luckily managed to become stable again because I finally decided to take care of myself. I encouraged myself, told myself I was beautiful and soon, I was feeling beautiful. When I looked in the mirror, no more eye bags, I didn’t look tired or sad anymore, I felt so good about myself. Until the news, I had silent depression, it wasn’t really serious though, I was eating properly, felt good, etc. the only bad things were that my room started to get messy again, I showered less, sometimes thought of unaliving myself when I felt extremely sad. Luckily, when I got Shiro, he changed everything for me. I was stable again, I do get sad sometimes but it’s just sadness and I don’t get it really often, I’m healthy and I’m healing my emotional wounds faster than I thought. So, I’m ok now, I really wanna thank the people who made that possible for me though :)
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