I HATE THE MIDDLE AGES!
Chapter 3: Arrival at Rivendel
(The fellowship of the ring)
“Thank you, Hermione, that was very helpful," Sam said.
“We owe you our lives," Merry thanked him.
“It was nothing guys, I just hope that we get to the town quickly, those thunders that are heard do not inspire me much confidence, do you think there will be a storm?”
“Don't worry Hermione, the transporter will arrive at the landing before it begins.” Frodo reassured her.
As soon as they arrived at the landing stage, a torrential rain fell on them.
“Great, we'll get soaked to the bone!" complained Pipin.
“No, we won't," said Hermione and with Impervius' spell, she waterproofed everyone's layers. The hobbits hailed Hermione and hurried to the village.
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The village of Bree was walled and they had to ask permission to enter to the gate keeper of the place.
“Thank you, Mr. Filch.” it slipped out of Hermione's mouth because the man was similar to the school janitor.
“How did you call me? How do you know my name? ””””””
“Em, a lumberjack told us before we got here," Hermione lied. And the man let them in.
“How did you know that guy's name?” Frodo asked her.
“I accidentally left without wanting to, it turns out that the doorkeeper of my school is the same as that man, what an incredible coincidence that he also carries the same name.”
Friends found the inn tavern: The Prancing Pony. The place was bohemian and the clientele looked brutal.
“Relax Hermione," said the girl to herself in a low voice, "this place is no different than a Manchester United hooligans bar or other similar team.”
The five friends went to the owner of the inn, a guy named Butterbur, but he told them that Gandalf did not arrive at the place.
Friends occupied a table discussing what to do next, but Merry and Pipin were already bored and went to order some beer, while Sam made them notice that a strange man was watching. When he asked Mr. Butterbur, he told them that he was a hobo from the mountain with the nickname of "Strider".
Friends kept on talking when something caught Frodo’s attention. He rushed to where Merry and Pipin were. Frodo when arguing with his friends lost his balance and fell backwards, suddenly disappeared as if he had performed the spell of Apparition, but Hermione heard no noise.
The locals were alarmed by the magic of the hobbit and were already getting violent, fortunately the hobbits invented a story and everyone believed them.
"I hate the Middle Ages," Hermione thought. “Where do you think Frodo is?”
“If you are looking for Mr. Underhill (Frodo), I saw him heading to the back room with that guy called Strider," said Butterbur.
The four friends rushed to the room.
“It's closed!” Sam said
“Alohomora," Hermione said slowly and everyone entered.
“Leave Mr. Frodo or I'll kill you, Mr. Strider!” Sam shouted. The man took a step forward but Hermione locked him up with the Incarcerous.
Frodo interrogated the man who turned out to be called Aragorn and he told them that he knew Gandalf and offered to take them to Rivendel. The hobbits didn't trust him, but Hermione convinced them to accept his help because the man reminded her of Sirius, with his filthy and careless appearance.
Aragorn convinced the five friends not to stay at The Prancing Pony, and to do so at the inn in front.
“Do you suppose these Nazgul will come, as you call them Aragorn?” Hermione asked.
“It is most likely, you sleep Hermione, that I will stand guard," said the man and Hermione and the hobbits who were very tired went to sleep.
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“Yyhgghay!”
“What's that!” Hermione shouted in the middle of the night, and Aragorn waved his finger at her and the others to remain silent. The friends approached the window carefully and watched as the nazgul came out of the village with their horses.
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The next morning very early, the six friends left town for Rivendel. Hermione after walking all day long (for several days) was exhausted and got on her broom, but she was so slow that Aragorn finally got angry.
“You would walk faster Hermione," he said so the girl walked again.
Arriving at night, they saw a kind of ruins and despite the girl had to climb a steep slope, decided to rest when they arrived at the place where they decided to spend the night and Hermione who was so exhausted took a cloth and transformed it into a mattress and then collapsed on top of it sleeping immediately.
“Poor Hermione is not used to walking so much," said Pipin, while Sam and Merry brought sheets to cover her.
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Hermione thought she heard some screaming and woke up sleepy.
“Put out the fire!” said Frodo, when again the supernatural cry of the nazgul was heard. This time Hermione woke up completely.
“Where is Aragorn?” Hermione asked.
“He went out to explore for a while, I hope he will come back soon," Frodo said.
“He won't be back in time," Sam said, "we'd better get up there.”
At the top of the ruins, the five companions prepared to face the enemy. Hermione upon seeing the nazgul hurls curses at them but these beings seem immune to magic.
“What can I do! What can I do!” she told herself. The Nazgul were already drawing their swords.
"Expecto Patronum," said Hermione but she could conjure nothing, the enemies were getting closer and closer.
“Expelliarmus!” she shouted, and one of the nazgul dropped his blade.
"Of course! If they are ethereal, their swords are not," thought Hermione and repeated the same spell against the others, disarming them all, but still approaching, fortunately Aragorn arrived and engaged in combat. He wouldn't have survived if it hadn't been for Hermione, who helped his friend with the Expelliarmus, the nazgul finally retired defeated.
“Hermione, Frodo is wounded!” cried Sam
“While you were helping Aragorn, one of those nazgul wounded Frodo from behind," said Merry.
Friends decided to go down from the ruins, Aragorn was absent to look for medicinal herbs.
“Can't you do anything, Hermione?” begged Pipin.
“I'm sorry Pipin, they didn't teach me healing magic at school, all I know is Ferula, and that won't help Frodo.”
Hermione did not explain herself as in all her years at Hogwarts she would not have been taught healing magic.
"How Dumbledore didn't put healing magic in the school's pensum?", the girl wondered irritably, when she saw Aragorn and a woman who was apparently an elf approaching.
Aragorn entrusted Frodo to the elf woman and on her horse they departed from the place.
“What are you doing! There's still nazgul out there!” Sam criticized him, but Aragorn reassured him by saying that the Elven horses were superior.
Aragorn and the others rushed to Rivendel, Hermione felt she was going to faint but fortunately some elves riders found them and decided to take them to their city.
“Thank you sir," Hermione said to an elf who reminded her of Lucius Malfoy.
“You don't have to, Miss Granger," the elf said with a smile. Hermione felt a little strange about this new and improved version of Draco's father.
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In the end, after crossing a narrow gorge, Hermione reached Rivendel, which was located in the middle of a cliff with numerous waterfalls nearby.
When Hermione arrived and the others wanted to know about Frodo, an elf told them that he and Lady Arwen had eluded the Nazgul, and now Arwen and Lord Elrond were healing Frodo. Lord Elrond left after an hour and told them that Frodo would wake up in about three days.
Aragorn introduced the hobbits to Lord Elrond, and finally left Hermione.
“Of course, at this time it is not customary to introduce women first, I hate the Middle Ages." Hermione thought.
When Aragorn introduced Hermione to Lord Elrond, he did so in the Elf language and Elrond opened his eyes like plates staring at her.
“It is a pleasure Miss Granger, Aragorn tells me that you are an istari who comes from a world that is not ours and that if it were not for your invaluable help he would not have survived the attack of the nazgul," Elrond said.
“It was a pleasure, Lord Elrond," said Hermione.
Lord Elrond ordered some elves to guide the travelers to their quarters to sleep as it was too late. Hermione stayed with her mouth wide open for the room she had, it was very luxurious but with a style she didn't know how to define, a mixture between minimalism and good, elf art. Hermione fell asleep as soon as she lay down on the fragrant bed.
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Hermione woke up very early in the morning and went to the bathroom, this was very elegant with a huge white swan marble bathtub, and next to it... a potty.
“Oh no, not again, I hate the Middle Ages!”
After transforming pottery, bucket and sheep wool into toilets, sinks and toilet paper (and after using Fregoteo), the girl took a nice hot bath prepared by the elves.
“Excuse me, where are the bathrooms?” Hermione asked an elf after leaving her room, because Hermione could not believe that the elves had no bathroom like humans or hobbits. They told her where this was and Hermione was quick to satisfy her curiosity.
It turns out that the bathrooms were nothing more than a creek domed by thin planks with holes separated by a few meters in which one sat and the creek did the rest; there was also no lack of water buckets and the famous sheep wool.
"Well something is something, in fact it reminds me of the baths that the ancient inhabitants of Crete had," Hermione thought, recalling that old cartoon: Once upon a time it was the man.
Upon leaving the bathroom an elf led Hermione to her friends for lunch.
“I'm sorry I missed breakfast, but I promise to be there by tea time," said the girl.
“Tea time? I don't understand you, Miss Granger.”
"Nooo, I hate the Middle Ages!"
“No, don't worry," she said forcing a smile our lovely little witch.
Hermione walked through the corridors and found that Rivendel had no defensive walls.
"Of course, being in the middle of a cliff doesn't need them, it's the perfect defense," Hermione thought.
Before arriving at the dining room, she saw a plot of land where several sheep of the whitest wool she had ever seen were grazing.
“How beautiful!” the girl said to the elf.
“Yes, they are pretty, these are ready to be sheared.”
“Sheared?”
“Yes, her wool is used for baths," said the elf blushing a little.
“I see, and they probably also use their wool to make clothes and meat for food," Hermione said, and the elf put on a disgusting face.
“Yes, we used wool for the dresses... but eating the sheep... That's barbarian, excuse me, I didn't mean to offend you!”
“No, don't worry... just don't know the customs of the place yet, in fact this is not my home planet," said Hermione and explained her situation with what the elf was impressed to meet someone coming from another planet.
"So, you elves are vegetarians..."
“Yes, we are, we would never eat the flesh of any animal.”
They arrived at the dining room and Hermione met the hobbits who were already tasting healthy elf food. Hermione read about the legendary hobbit and elf delicacies from an early age, but the food was insipid, apparently the elves did not use spices.
"First the hobbit kitchen, and now the elf kitchen, goddamn fairy tales, they brainwashed me, they brainwashed us! I hate the Middle Ages!"
In the midst of her musings of how much she hated the Middle Ages and how many times she had already said it, Aragorn entered the dining room. Hermione dropped the carrot she was eating. Aragorn was so handsome! He had trimmed his beard a little, his hair was already a little trimmed and clean, and he was, well, he was just as he wanted!
“Aragorn, I see that you impressed the istari of another world," said Arwen amused to see Hermione's expression. Aragorn looked at her and smiled as well.
"Damn it!” Hermione thought when she discovered that a squirt of slime was dripping from the corner of her lips and red as a tomato, she looked down and decided to remain silent for the entire meal.
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Arwen pushed Hermione away after lunch and apologized to her, she didn't mean to make her uncomfortable.
Hermione accepted Arwen's apologies and talked about Frodo and life at Rivendel.
“How is your father? He looks like someone strict," Hermione said shyly. Arwen laughed a little.
“Well, it is a little bit, but as the Lord of Rivendel must be, why do you ask me?”
“He reminds me of a Hollywood actor in Matrix," Hermione said, forcing a smile.
“Hollywood, Matrix?”
“It doesn't matter, forget it... And tell me Arwen... between you and Aragorn there is something, well... romantic.”
“Yes, there is Hermione.” This time it was Arwen's turn to turn red. Hermione seemed disappointed and Arwen looked and smiled sweetly at her. However, my father does not approve of that relationship," said Arwen, and told Hermione how his father ordered her to take the Elven ships and leave the Middle Earth forever. Hermione was shocked, telling her that she and Aragorn would make a perfect match.
“I cannot disobey my father, no daughter can go against her father's wishes.”
“Typical of this period, how much I hate the Middle Ages.”
“Middle Ages? Hermione, you're confused. We're in the third age of Middle Earth.”
“Emm, it's just an expression Arwen," Hermione said embarrassedly and proceeded to speak of her native world: Earth. Arwen was impressed, the Muggle world seemed magical and mystical to her, with machines that could travel faster than a horse or could fly through the sky.
“So within these so-called engines, there are several horses? They must be huge machines!” Arwen said.
“Emm, more or less, I think I went very fast and I confused you, in fact I don't know much about car engines, moreover, many muggles don't know how a car works either, or a plane or an airplane or a...” Hermione had an idea.
"Arwen, your people! the elves are a magical race, you think you could help me," Hermione said with a pleading expression that made Arwen worry.
“Of course Hermione, what do you want?” Arwen asked and Hermione explained to her if there could be a way back into her world with what Arwen suggested to go to her father.
For Hermione's disillusionment, Lord Elrond could not help her in any way, neither in her attempt to return to her world, nor in an effective way to create a good magic broom or another new wand.
“What am I going to do?, How will my friends be, they'll all be alive and safe?, and if a dead eater killed someone...”
Arwen hastened to embrace Hermione, who was already tearing and removed her fears.
“Don't worry Hermione, if they're your friends they sure got through the situation.”
“And where is Gandalf? He promised to meet us at Bree, but he never showed up," Hermione moaned, and Arwen and Elrond exchanged looks of concern.
“I apologize for the intrusion Lord Elrond," said an elf, "but Mithrandir has just arrived, he is wounded, one of the high eagles brought him.”
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Arwen told Hermione that the man referred to by the elf was Gandalf. The girl was excited and the next morning after Gandalf recovered from her injuries she went to visit him.
“Good morning, Mr. Mithrandir," Hermione said to him politely.
“Just call me Gandalf, I heard that you saved Frodo and company, and even Aragorn.”
“It was nothing... Gandalf, and you please call me Hermione.”
“It was nothing? Confronting the Nazgul wasn't anything? Hermione allow me to disagree with that, but you show a magic worthy of an istari.”
“Gandalf, I am not an istari I come from another world and wish to return to it.”
“Yes, Elrond informed me of your situation, but I am afraid there is nothing I can do," said the old man, and Hermione saw her hopes plummet, knelt beside Gandalf's bed and began to moan. Gandalf comforted her as best he could.
Hermione, after calming down, asked the magician for help with her broom and wand, but Gandalf could not do much either.
“I cannot create a new wand, but I can teach you how to make your own wizard's staff.”
“A staff?” Hermione said, at school, they taught her that the ancient magicians used staffs and then replaced them with wands that were more efficient and powerful, but what else could she do, terrified her of the prospect of her wand breaking one day and becoming helpless.
“Witch, I am a witch," said Hermione proudly, "and yes, I would love it if you could teach me how to make my own staff.”
TO BE CONTINUE...
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