A story always starts with a blank page. Then a pen gets dipped down on ink and words are being written. Pages are then filled and stories are being shared from miles and miles, from generation to generation. But what if our mind could only in-store limited memories? What will happen to the blank page? Where do we get the pen to create the words?493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx4pZP4zqIg
Fuck.
I think I’m reading too much of this Psychology book. I don’t even know why it’s here in our library when we don’t have Science related classes. But eventually, my main purpose why I hid in the library was because I wanted to clear my head from the noise that’s inside of me. Tomorrow will be my recital and if I fail, then the world’s gonna end in 2014.
“Look who I found in the school library.” I looked up to see Rose Garner grinning widely at me. “Hi.” She blushed as she approached me.
“Hello.” I said. “I’m not hiding. I’m just…” I shrugged when I knew there’s not much of a use to explain further. “…meditating.”
She invited herself to sit next to me on the floor. “How’s Anna?”
“Why don’t you ask her?”
She sighed. “Because I’m a coward.” She leaned back forcefully that her head bumped the bookshelf. Her head hit it so hard it made a “tug” sound.
“Aw.” She mouthed.
I snickered. “Thick head.”
“No. It’s a bump of reality.”
“You should fix things with Anna.” I said. “You know you don’t have enough time with her. The least you can do is reconcile and be friends again.”
“What does she need me for when she have you to look out for her?”
A laugh escaped my mouth. “Sometimes we only think we need a few but it’s better if it’s a task force. The more the merrier.”
She leaned her head to the side and she sighed again. “Maybe soon.”
“When she’s already dead?”
She glared at me. “Aren’t you supposed to be practicing?”
A rabid change in topic to get off the loop. Smart girl.
“Yep, But as I have said, I need to clear my mind.” I answered.
She chewed on her lower lip. “Well, I’m sorry if I’ve disturbed your peace.”
“How can I be at peace with myself when I’m at war with the world?”
She blew off her fringe. “I’m afraid I cannot answer that.”
I laughed on my behalf.
“I spy…” Scott’s intro as he ousted himself from a nearby bookshelf. “Dominic Savio and…” he looked at Rose like she’s good meat. I had to roll my eyes up the ceiling.
“Excuse me, miss, but have we met before?” he knelt down before Rose.
Rose huffed it almost blew off her fringe. “We’re in the same school.”
“Really?” Scott raised a flirty eyebrow. “Because I really thought I saw you in my dreams.”
“Definitely in your dreams, Scott.” She chided and Scott feigned hurt in the process of getting shot through the heart.
“Why are women rejecting me these days?” Scott mumbled to no one in particular.
“Difficult human nature.” I answered him. “There are others who turned you down?” I had the urge to snort at his face. Headlines: SCOTT ORSON REJECTED.
He wrinkled his nose. “The piano’s waiting for you at the theatre.”
I groaned. “I’ll just practice at home.” Then my eyebrows met. “Where have you been all day?”
He sneered at me. “Women hunting.”
Rose and I gaped at him.
“What?” he snickered. “Today is Women Awareness Day.” he looked at the both of us like we’re miscreants. “I am ashamed to be with you guys right now. You are both ignorant.”
I rolled my eyes again at the ceiling.
Scott then pointed at Rose. “Why the hell are you here?”
Rose gawked at him. “It’s a public library you doofus.”
Scott raised an intrigue eyebrow at her then he turned to give me that stare too.
“Scott’s been practicing for the recital.” Rose said before I could defend myself at Scott.
One sentence and that earned her a Godzilla scowl from Scott. “I am so not dating you, Rose Garner.”
Rose chuckled. “Oh thank God! But you’re welcome.”
“Wait—what recital?” I turned to Scott for an explanation but it seemed I’ve turned him to stone. Rose opened her mouth for his sake but Scott glared at her.
“I got a late invite for the concert tomorrow.”
I blinked hard at him in disbelief. “For Julliard?” he nodded and I almost hit my head on the wall. “With the percussions?”
I saw Rose roll her eyes skyward from my periphery. “He’s playing the violin tomorrow.”
My hand slapped my forehead. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” I turned to Scott unbelievably.
“Will you ever let me talk to him alone?” Scott narrowed his eyes at her and Rose retaliated by staring the same way. But then I guess she got to her senses and realized the moral essence of privacy talk. So she raised both of her hands in defeat.
“Fine. I’ll leave you two to deal with It.” she said as she stood up, turned around on her heels and left.
“Oh, before you go could you please return this to its proper shelf?” Scott took the Psychology book from me and threw it to Rose who caught it mid-fall. For a moment, I thought Rose was about to throw it back to him. But she turned red, groaned and walked away.
When the place had turned quiet from heels stomping and doors slamming, I was left to interrogate my best friend.
“First the guitar and now the violin?” I grimaced. “What else aren’t you telling me?”
Scott started to scratch the back of his neck. “I thought it’ll be cool if I surprise you?”
I frowned at him. He rolled his eyes at me.
“I just don’t want you to feel threatened.” He admitted. “You know you’re our school’s bet for Julliard next year.”
I gaped at him. “Scott, what the hell? You’re my best friend. Why in the world would I feel threatened of you? What I’m feeling right now is both shock and proud.”
He shrugged and we both looked at each other levelly. Then I raised my hand for a handshake which he took gradually.
“You gave Anna berries.” I said and he stiffened. “Yeah, I know that too.” I narrowed my eyes at him.
His shoulders sagged. “I’m not trying to poison her, okay? I just found out that blue berries are good for the brain.”
“So you’re side tripping on my girlfriend’s house.”
“What? No. No.”
An idea then bumped my head and it came out of my mouth before I could stop myself.
“Do you like her, Scott?”
He raised an amused eyebrow at me, crossed his arms and leaned on the bookshelf behind him.
“I like all women.”
“So you do like Anna.”
From a calm lake he went to boiling like hot water. “Dom, is there a question here? You’re making me feel like I’m a criminal.”
I sighed and I pinched the bridge of my nose. “I’m sorry, Scott. I just want to make sure that you don’t have romantic feelings for my girlfriend.”
He scowled at me, insulted.
“I hope I was wrong.” I added.
“How could you even—” Scott pursed his lips shut in anger. “Look, I know my limitations and restrictions, Dom. I’m just trying to be a good friend. Well… although…” he withered. “I did flirted with Anna.” I glared at him. “Just a tiny bit. Relax! I’m sorry! Testosterones raging. You know I can’t help it if my male hormones are too sensitive.”
I wiped a hand across my face. “Forget about that. Anyway, thanks for the berries. I really do hope you’re not poisoning Anna.”
He snorted. “I just want her to live a little longer. At least you could have your share of your true love. While I—”
“Go on, Scott.”
He waved a hand of dismissal. “When the time comes I’ll let you know who she is.”
“Do I know her?”
“Very well.” he smirked at me.
“She’s in this school?”
Scott made his eyebrows nod at me. I sighed in surrender.
“Fine.”
“What’s this?” he took the papers I’ve been doodling on. “You’re composing something?” he sat beside me.
“Yeah. I wanted to play it tomorrow but I haven’t perfected it yet.”
Scott studied my notes like it’s totally a Calculus assignment that needs further analysis. “The notes are in good alignment but I see you haven’t written any words yet.”
I shrugged and he smirked at me. “I have a song too.”
He cleared his throat and he puckered his chest up and sang like an opera pro.
“B-U-T-T-E-R-F-L-Y-BUTTERFLY! B-U-T-T-E-R-F-L-Y-BUTTERFLY! B-U-T-T-E-R-F-L-Y-BUTTERFLY!” (To the tune of a Filipino song called Paru-parung Bukid.)
I grabbed my musical sheet from him. “Oh stop it, Scott. You’re not being so helpful. You’re a stress enhancer.”
He snickered as he grabbed the musical sheets from me again that it crumpled in his hands. For a moment I thought he’s gonna pose some ridiculous doodle on the paper. Instead, he worked his own magic on reinventing some notes of mine. I couldn’t explain the excitement running inside my head. My best friend has a hidden Mozart in him. He’s a music genius. I should admit that he’s (almost) better than me.
We both worked on enhancing my composition before the library closed. And that night, before I went to bed I wrote the words that filled Heaven. Words that kept on rushing back and forth like waves of the sea to shore. And before I closed my eyes, I thought of her. The blue of her eyes, the taste of her lips, the touch of her smile. I love her and I’ll do whatever it takes to get my way back to her.
***
My ever supportive parents were staring at me like a mirror or some sort of thing that reflects a human being. I’m in a suit that’s why. My mom placed a white handkerchief inside my lapel and she clapped her hands together. Her eyes glimmered with tears as she took all of me.
“My baby,” she said and my dad tapped her back while I had to roll my eyes skyward.
“Can we go now?” I looked at my watch and it said: 6:30 pm.
My mom came to me and fixed my hair, my coat, my face—it was endless until my dad pitied me and he pulled her to the car and we left.
I had my heart locked inside my chest just in case it leaps out. Along the back stage I could hear the cacophony of combined instruments. I held my composition in my hand. Even I was so nervous that I couldn’t look at my own reflection in the mirror. So I set out from the VIP room to the noise outside. The curtains were still drawn, so my curiosity took a peek at the waiting audience. The Grand Theatre was almost full. I searched for that one face hoping it would ease my rioting feelings down. But I couldn’t find her anywhere.
Please let her remember. I prayed silently.
“Hey there, mate.” I turned to see Scott holding his violin case like it’s a backpack. “Are you ready?”
I took a deep breath. “As I’ll ever be.”
“Don’t worry, Dom. You’ll do great.” He tapped my shoulder as I looked back at the audience.
“She’s not here.”
“She’ll be here. I know she will. Keep the faith up.” Scott withdrew his hand from my shoulder and he sauntered to his room.
I was tempted to look back behind those draped curtains. But then I saw the teacher coordinator herding some students into position up the stage. So I hid back to my room until the time came I was called to perform.
The air went rigid in my lungs and I felt like I’ve been dumb to the world as I entered the stage. My piano waited for me right at the center and the spotlight followed me like a caustic shadow. My hands traced the fine piano keys, careful enough not to touch it. And before I started, I took a glance at the crowd in search for Heaven’s face. But all I saw were lines of faces waiting for me to start playing.
Maybe she had forgotten.
The wind whispered her name to me, meeting my flesh with its icy touch. I took in a deep breath and I pressed on the keys. I thought: if the wind was present, then I’ll send my love to her through the passing caress of the air so that she’ll find her way to me. If it was meant to make me feel then it’s possible to make her remember.
I played and played, memorizing each stroke of hand and each flourish of notes—reciting her name by heart. With each key I’ve pressed was a tick of my beating heart. Listen. I told the wind. Send her the message and bring her to me. I commanded it. And by some light, my eyes wandered towards the center aisle up to the main entrance of the theatre. The tunnel was dark but I felt her presence there. My heart started its march like timpani drums until the darkness turned into her silhouette and that meek figure turned into her in the light. Slowly she moved out of the darkness and into my view. I felt a thorn had been pulled out of my chest and I broke into a smile. Her eyes danced with the flickering lights as she returned back my smile.
My hands went rapidly in stylish waves as it hit its last note.
I paused.
Then I started playing my composition. Four notes—I took the head start before I heard Scott’s violin in the background matching my melody like metamorphosis.
What would I do without your smart mouth493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDtdyqfFCeb
Drawing me in, and you kicking me out493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEb8EYsgjQY
Got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down
I sang the words like they were written out of my mouth. I let again the wind draw my music towards her.
What's going on in that beautiful mind493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYVFInX7GqP
I'm on your magical mystery ride493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhPsoOhhlu
And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright
My head's underwater493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk8lxrVD0Ia
But I'm breathing fine493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrWUbizOqvK
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind
Her smile grew wide as her eyes watered with tears. My heart wanted to jump out of my chest but I pinned myself down. This is for you. I told her with my eyes.
Cause all of me493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHXkfxL2Yx
Loves all of you493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4BHn26sS6U
Love your curves and all your edges493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4vUNYA4jst
All your perfect imperfections493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxyv4eQAbGg
Give your all to me493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPMLYetzUx9
I'll give my all to you493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgtjOv11tV0
You're my end and my beginning493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzPay4zTPA8
Even when I lose I'm winning493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS3hiiHpWGX
Cause I give you all of me493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRrizrU9uvD
And you give me all of you, oh…
When I looked at her it felt like a million of feelings bursting into one phenomenon. Nothing seemed to matter. The doors were sealed shut and the windows were barred close. There’s only her in my world. It’s her light that shined brightly in this dark room and I’d like to keep it burning.
How many times do I have to tell you493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyCrHExNDjz
Even when you're crying you're beautiful too493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdG0sXA7w1F
The world is beating you down, I'm around through every mood493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvBcZvcp5TK
You're my downfall, you're my muse493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB0T2GjTyA8
My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFzWt7nXKJf
I can't stop singing, it's ringing in my head for you
I saw teardrops glittered on her face but she kept on smiling up at me. I love you she mouthed the words and I smiled back.
Cards on the table, we're both showing hearts493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPoOZaUcFnz
Risking it all, though it's hard
Cause all of me493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIKqvYf9Is3
Loves all of you493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnW7FD6HYQZ
Love your curves and all your edges493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDmpjFY9yd5
All your perfect imperfections493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlP6o7qfc3G
Give your all to me493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡElsCUhfIKS
I'll give my all to you493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaDFIdJ56TB
You're my end and my beginning493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJ3L0uwoQV
Even when I lose I'm winning493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2EWgTHu9W1
Cause I give you all of me493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhc7OPIuk6G
And you give me all of you, oh…
I give you all of me
And you give me all of you, ooh…
Just when I dropped the last key, the rain of applause overwhelmed me. I stood up and the crowd went wild with cheers I didn’t expect I’d get. I turned behind me to see Scott raising his violin in salute at me. He then made a “rock on” sign with his free hand. I shook my head at him but I was really proud of his performance and happy with his help.
And then I turned to Anna.
Right at the entrance she clapped her hands at me. I never felt so proud of myself. She put her hands to her lips and she blew a kiss at me. I captured that kiss in the air and I placed it in my heart.
***
The recital ended with too much confetti, another round of applause from the crowd and a visit from the director of Julliard. I was awestruck when the head of St. Louise introduced me to him. And when he asked me if I was interested to attend Julliard next year—I was so shock I couldn’t reject the offer. But the moment it dawned on me that Julliard it’ll be next year, Anna came into my mind.
Just before I could run back and decline the offer, Scott chocked me with his arm.
“Wow! Julliard next year, mate!” he ruffled my hair and I just have to get away from him before I’m all messed up. When I straightened up he saw my face and he sighed.
“What? You don’t like Julliard?”
I was supposed to answer him when I saw Anna at the entrance of the backstage. She smiled shyly as her hands wrapped around each other. All my words melted away in thin air. She was so beautiful in that black dress. Her eyes coordinated perfectly with her plush white skin. I felt my jaw dropped to the floor and my breath hitched. She blushed and Scott blocked my view. I frowned at him. But he ignored me by fixing my messed up coat. He pulled something out of his coat’s pocket and then he inserted it inside my lapel. It took me seconds to notice what it was. A condom.
I opened my mouth to protest but he grasped my shoulder with his hand.
“Just in case.” He sneered at me before heading towards Anna. He leaned down to whisper something to her and she smiled up at him. And when he disappeared, Heaven made her way to me.
She bloomed in my eyes as she approached me. My beautiful Heaven. All the senses in me screamed for her and only her. Everything seemed to dissolve. Her dark curls fell down in countless waves on her shoulders and back. The more she closed the distance between us, the more my heart hammered so hard in my chest I almost shattered into pieces. I took her all in like breathing air.
When there were a few more spaces between us, she took up some pace and she threw her herself at me. Her arms wrapped tightly around my neck and I placed my hand on her back. I felt immediately the softness of her skin. I buried my nose on her neck and I kissed her there.
She giggled. “You were incredible up stage.” she kissed my cheek before she pulled herself away from me and that had sent tendrils on my wake.
“Thank you.” I said as I found my voice.
She grinned wider at me as she bit her lower lip tighter.
“You look so handsome in that suit.” She blushed. “Our hearts could only beat about 100k each day. If you keep on looking like that I’m risking myself for a possible heart attack.”
I snorted as my thumb grazed the skin on her back. “Heart attack?”
She nodded as she leaned in her nose to meet mine. “My heart speeds up to 360. So if I die now, it’s all your fault.” She narrowed her eyes playfully at me.
I chuckled as I pulled her closer in a half hug. “Then I should probably change. I don’t want to risk you.” I made myself turn and she held me back. I raised my eyebrows at her in question and she blushed.
“I like it this way.”
I took her hand in mine as I pulled her back to me. We both stood facing each other until the air became warm around us and all I care about was to kiss her lips.
“Dom,” my mom interrupted us and we both sprung apart. She made her way to us and I wrapped an arm around Anna’s waist.
My mom reached us and her eyes darted from me to Anna then back to me. “Who’s your friend?” she looked at Anna with excited interest. All that’s missing was her spectacles. My dad followed and seeing Anna with me stopped his mid-tracks.
“Mom and dad, I’d like you both to meet Anna—my girlfriend.”
My mom put a hand to her chest and they both froze in place. If Anna didn’t have the incentive to outstretch her hand for a handshake, they might have stayed like that for the rest of the evening.
“Hi,” Anna said shyly as she shook each of their hands.
My mom busted out a grin. “What a pleasant surprise, Dominic.”
I shrugged at her.
“I knew, a song like that,” my dad raised his index finger as he turned from me to Anna. “was meant for someone.” He smirked at me and I gave him a knowing look.
“So Anna,” my mom turned to her. “Will you join us for dinner?"493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76fZanENOw
