I was flooding tears for Noah’s Ark.497Please respect copyright.PENANA8ai8P8JUvw
Anna had completely forgotten about me.
I hate to admit this but that was how my story had ended.
If our hearts could find a way… only Heaven knows.
If she comes back to me… only Heaven knows.
I’ve been anticipating the time she would eventually forget about me. But I had never thought—not even to myself that when the day finally comes I wouldn’t be ready. I wasn’t that strong enough to hold on to myself. I guess I wasn’t meant to hold on to anything. It felt like falling way down too deep to an unseen ground.
I perched on the flat surface of the roof that used to be Anna’s hiding place. I was like a bird figuring out how to fly. But my feathers ran out and I stared at the sky like an ocean of questions hung in the clouds.
Yes, I have considered the possibility of my eyes as rain clouds but it never really rained that hard to cause a catastrophic flood. That would be over dramatic of me. But right now, I think it’s gonna rain and I don’t know if I’d be able to stop the flood from breaking through.
“Dom,” I looked up to find Rose’s head peeking down the barricade at me.
I immediately wiped away the stray tears that fell down my cheeks.
“You heard the news flash?” I tried to joke but my voice sounded like I ate a frog. All that’s left to say is “Ribbit!”. But I found out that I couldn’t even laugh at my own joke.
Rose looked down at her hands. “I’m sorry, Dom. I… I really am.”
I smiled at the clouds. “We both knew this was gonna happen. I just didn’t expect this to happen so soon. The pain… it’s unbearable. I don’t even know why I’m still breathing.”
I looked back at her and she tried to smile but she couldn’t.
“I’m sorry. I know you shouldn’t be listening to me. This is full of TV drama shit.”
She nodded with utmost understanding.
“How did you know I’m here?” I asked.
She sighed. “Scott looked for me and he begged me to ask you to please come down.”
I had to suppress a laugh. “He begged you?” Scott Orson. Of course he knew everything. But Scott Orson begging? You’ve got to be kidding me.
Rose frowned at me as if I had offended her. “No.” she sighed again. “Will you just please come back up?”
Worry filled her eyes. Scott needed her help so that he won’t have to climb up here. Scott and his acrophobia issues. I took pity on Rose. She looked like she was about to cry so I went back up as she asked me too. Only then she had let her tears fall.
“Rose,”
“I’m sorry.” she sobbed. “I should have listened to you… now Anna doesn’t remember me either.”
I awkwardly wrapped my arms around her and I pressed her closer to me in a light hug. I patted the top of her head. When her crying ebbed, she took a step back from me.
“Look, I know you’re badly hurt but you have to get back to her.” she said persistently. My eyebrows rose at her. “You just have to, Dom. She needs you now more than ever. Please don’t give up on Anna.”
I felt my heart cracked at the center. “I’m not giving up on her, Rose. I just don’t know where to start over again. It feels like I’ve been lost in the world map.”
“Then find your way back. Find a better map. I’m sure you will find one. And when you do, find your way back to her.” she stubbornly wiped away her tears. “Can we go down now? It’s very hot up here and the wind’s making my poor hair suffer from frizz.”
I smiled amusedly at her as I waved for the exit.
Scott was patiently waiting down stairs and he sighed when he saw me coming down with Rose still alive and whole.
“I thought you’re gonna commit suicide.” He said as he uncrossed his arms.
I frowned at him. “I’m not risking my life to go to hell.”
“So how’s the dandy remind-Anna-mission coming, your saintness?” Scott asked.
I shrugged. “I don’t know yet.”
“If there are signs that she remembers you then probably she’ll go looking for you. Keep calm and breathe.” Thanks to Rose’s encouragement, I felt a bit better.
“Well the last thing Dominic needs is a free push over part 2.” He scowled at Rose. “Have a heart for the broken hearted.”
Rose made a face at him. “You ungrateful git.”
“Thank you.” Scott told her passively as he started to the door. Rose gaped at the swinging exit door.
“Did he just say thank you?” Rose asked me.
“Yes, he did.” I answered. “I hope you don’t mind if he’s such a sore ass.”
“He always is.” She said as she turned to me. “Thanks by the way—for earlier.” She blushed. “I’m sorry. I just couldn’t control my feelings. I was just worried about… Anna.”
“I understand.” I nodded and she exhaled with transparent relief. “I guess sorry is the word of the day.”
“Yeah. I guess it is.” She pouted her lips to the side. “So I guess we’re friends now, right?”
My eyes wanted to wonder away. “What about your clique?”
She waved a hand of dismissal. “They weren’t really my friends. Anna is.”
“Then what about my best friend? He can be very cocky if you know what I mean.”
She huffed and rolled her eyes skyward. “I can handle the mule—as long as he doesn’t try to get in my pants.”
“If there’s no problem at all then, why not?”
Her eyes widened in excitement. “For real?” I nodded and she leaped up to hug me but then Scott reappeared at the doorway.
“I was talking particularly to no one.” He pointed at the exit. “I looked like a fool.”
Rose snickered. “Aren’t you already?”
Scott’s lips shaped into a thin line. “I really do hope you know I respect girls.”
He turned to me. “Dominic, free time is over for you. So you better come with me before this girl gets her tentacles at you and seduces you.”
Scott grabbed me by the collar and he pulled me out of the door. The last thing I saw was Rose gaping widely at him.
***
They say that one of the simplest ways to be happy is to let go of the things that make you sad. It’s a bit of a tongue-in-cheek actually since the one that plays a big role in my entire existence is the same person who is both making me sad and happy.
Mama, who is he?
The words sang on and on inside my head like a broken record. I could not find a remote control to block the damned words. They screamed at me and my head’s a piece of fragile glass. Any moment now it would smash into pieces.
Her voice haunted me like a ghost. It rationalized all my deepest fears in a structure I could not take. It felt like I’ve been closing my eyes the whole time that when I opened them it was too late to prevent the hurt.
More hurt to come. That’s what my head told me.
How could an angel break my heart?
I felt like I’m being underwater. I’ve been there for so long that I’ve drowned all my possibilities of ever going back to the surface. I didn’t know the explanation why a broken heart makes people think it could be a cause of death. Why a person could be a cause of someone’s misery. All answers root to one word. Love.
With the heat of the fire breathing sun outside the shadowed curtains, I found sanctuary in the piano room. My hands skimmed the fine keys of the piano. I closed my eyes as I set one note down and my mind traveled to her.
It was as ironic as they say that the same person could make you feel both the same way. And then I thought that if life could be ironic and mess up with love then why couldn’t I be one and find a way to set change? If love could make things possible to anyone then love could make things happen… even a short period of time kind of miracle.
If it’s as powerful as they say, my love for her will lead her back to me.
I opened my eyes and they fell upon the light. It led me to the angel standing by the door. The light that she brought in overwhelmed me with such feeling that it made my feet badly rooted to the ground.
Slowly she made her way to me. My hand froze on top of the keys as my eyes followed her features. Her hair was cut too short that its ends fell down to rest on her shoulders. Her blush casted color all over her pale cheeks and her thin hands grasped at the edge of her notebook close to her chest.
My legs forced me to stand when she reached me. My heart pounded like a wild animal beseeching for release inside my chest.
“Hello,” her lips had said and my eyes followed their every movement. I looked back at her eyes in embarrassment.
“Hi,” I mustered to say and when I moved, my knee hit the edge of the piano. I almost didn’t feel the pain. A soft, shy smile formed on her face.
“Can I help you?” I wiped my sweating hands on my pants.
She bit her lower lip and when she released it I felt myself sigh. Letting go of my anxiety to take her in my arms and just hug her for hours, days and nights.
“I just want to apologize for what happened yesterday.” her hands tightened around the edges of her notebook. “I didn’t know who you were.” She told her shoes. “I’m sorry I was rude to you.” she looked at me this time.
I shrugged off the hurt of yesterday. “It’s okay. You have nothing to apologize. It’s not your fault.”
“I know. But it will somehow help me ease up my mind if I apologize to you.”
“Well then, if it will keep you sane tonight… you are forgiven.”
“Thank you.”
I smiled at her and we both let the silence walk pass us.
“How did you find me?” “How are you?” we both said.
She smiled shyly and I waved my hand to indicate: ladies first.
“I…was actually looking for you.” she looked down at her notebook. “My diary told me about you so I was hoping to find you here. I heard the music and I followed It.” she lets out a deep breath as her pale blue eyes bore on me. “It led me to you.”
I wanted to sink to the ground and cry. But my mouth gaped stupidly at her instead. She raised her eyebrows at me and I stuttered for the right words to say.
“I was thinking about you.” I scratched the back of my neck. “And I didn’t know I was… I—I” I sighed away as I gave up on words.
She smiled again and it warmed up my heart.
“It was beautiful. I meant the song.”
“Thanks.”
“Was it… for me?”
I nodded, flabbergasted. “Yeah. It was meant for you to find me. And I guess it did.”
She chuckled. “Well in that case I’d like to hear it again. I’m afraid I’ve addled your performance earlier.”
I gawked at her. “Why… of course. Sure. Why not.”
I led her to the piano chair and I sat consciously beside her. She traced her hands on the keys all the while my eyes adored every inch of her. She looked back at me. Startled, I pushed on the wrong keys.
“Sorry, my bad.” I felt abashed. I sighed and I focused on the right keys to play.
There are times
When I just want to look at your face
With the stars in the night
Her eyes flattered at the notes. I looked back at her as if she’s the only thing I see in this world. I hated to look away in fear she’d disappear from my sight.
There are times
When I just want to feel your embrace
In the cold night
I just can’t believe that you are mine now
You were just a dream that I once knew
I never thought I would be right for you
I just can’t compare you with anything in this world
I looked at her and I swear the world would melt down and flood the entire universe. And I wouldn’t even care.
You’re all I need to be with forevermore
We all have our burdens in life. We carry them like the world in our shoulders. But they’ll only get heavy if we keep on thinking about the bad. If you don’t fight for what you love, don’t cry for what you lose.
Time and again
There are these changes that we cannot end
As sure as the time keeps going on and on
My love for you will be forevermore
I just can’t believe that you are mine now
You were just a dream that I once knew
I never thought I would be right for you
I just can’t compare you with anything in this world
In this life, I realized that we’ll only meet one special person that could make a difference out of our life in one human life span. People may come but they will never be the same. I thought Anna was the one. I still think that she is. No one could make me feel the way I feel for her. I don’t think I could ever love someone the way I loved her. I know it’s silly to say those words when afterwards I might find new love. I could not stop things when they happen. But at least in this life, that one great love, that one special person that changed my life did not just happen to pass me by.
As endless as forever
Our love will stay together
You’re all I need to be with forevermore
You’re all I need to be with forevermore
(A/N: The song Dominic played for Anna was Forevermore by David Archuleta. Originally sung by Side A.)
***
“Do you always animate music?” Anna asked me. “You seem to have magical powers that you make them come alive.”
“I’m not Harry Potter.” I countered and she smiled. “Music just comes to me naturally. I guess it helped me wishing that it will bring you back to me.”
“Could you… take me back to the days where we weren’t strangers—when our realities were better than our memories?”
I had to sigh. “Well, I hate to break it to you but this is reality. It slaps you right at your face the moment you turn your back and return with the truth.”
She bit down her lower lip as her eyes sauntered to a place she could only see.
“I’m sorry. But do I really know you?” there’s avid suspicion on her tone.
I felt a smile fell down on my face. “Interesting question. Yes, you do and you asking me that way makes me feel really sad about it.”
“Really? Then how come I don’t remember you?”
“I thought you read your diary?”
She looked down at it and then back up at me. “Yes, I did. But what if you’re just a mere figment of my dire imagination?”
“Right. You’re an artist. Weird people. Over weird imagination. Illusionists. I get it.” I teased her and she scowled at me.
“I beg your pardon.”
“Maybe I’m just somewhere there inside your head. You just refuse to find me.”
She gaped at me. “Why would I be reluctant to find you?”
“I don’t know. Stubbornness could be one.” I said and she scoffed at me. “I keep asking myself the same thing every day. Why don’t you remember me?”
She sneered at me. “Stop playing with me.”
I smirked at her. I didn’t intend to be rude or be flirty. I was just buying my way in.
“I’m that boy who saw you water the earth with your tears. That stranger who kept following you around like a—”
“An a-hole?”
“A stalker. I’m that friend who sits outside your house watching your window waiting for you to sleep soundly. I’m the one you love who stands here right in front of you waiting for a chance to be remembered.”
I stood in front of her, begging her with my eyes, with my soul to remember me—by some miracle—by some chance.
“Interesting story. Where’d you got that? John Green?”
“From you.” I leered at her and she swallowed her sarcasm down to her throat.
“If you read it backwards, it’ll be about me knowing you were sick, we’ll spend a lot of time together—wasting none of it, you remember me, you get better and we’ll meet again at the end of the story.”
“But the story wouldn’t end that way.” She said, silently. “Because it’s a love-sick story.”
“I agree.” I sighed as my eyes lingered upon her. “We’re another case of young, reckless and in love.”
She smiled. “I’d like to reread the story. I’d like to turn back the time for a little bit. Try and find things that were forgotten and… fall in love with you again.”
We all have good memories to begin with. The ones we’ve remembered and the ones we’ve preferred to throw away. Others may stay and others may be forgotten but they will always linger in our hearts. These memories will come back to us when we need to remember them the most—just like bulbs lighting inside our head. The heart is never greedy. It just knows when to spare some charges.
“Can we start over?” I said and her eyes sparkled with the lights that ignited my heart. “Be strangers again. Let me introduce myself to you. Give me a chance, even just a short time, a day to remind you.” I held her hand and she looked down at it as I intertwined them. “We can laugh and talk… learn things again that we already know. Create new memories. Give each other a second chance.”
She smiled up at me, sadly. “What if I still can’t remember? What if I stop remembering?”
“Then I’ll remind you again, tomorrow, the next day after that and the next day after that.” I sighed. “So on and so forth.”
She looked down at her shoes and then back up me.
“I’ve promised you, Anna. I will never stop reminding you until I find my way back to you.”
She bit her lower lip. Her eyes flickered to me like I’m a book that needs further analysis. After a decade of torment she outstretched her hand to me.
“I’m Anna Marie Heaven.”
I smiled as a rusting dagger had been pulled out of my poor heart.
“I’m Dominic Savio.”497Please respect copyright.PENANAINgRxtrd9c