PETE
The confrontation between The Main Family and The Second Family this time was more terrifying than ever. The terror in my heart instantly multiplied when I saw Vegas walking through the bodyguards of The Second Family.
I had been trying to fool myself for a week that in the end there was no way I would been confused because of someone like him anymore. How important the duty is to me? I know that very well. I repeated to myself all the time who caused me pain and who showed kindness to me. If I had a subconscious mind, I had to realize that even with the slightest thought, I shouldn't be shaken with the situation in front me. The determination and bravery are what it took to be the head bodyguard of the eldest son of The Main Family. It was always a hard work. I tried to control my feelings and could only look away like Vegas was not right in front of me.
Although I felt that all the time we was confronting each other, those pairs of sharp eyes fixed on me... even if it caused my body to start restless but I tried to push everything to the depths of my mind as much as possible.
The situation became more and more tense when Khun Kant and Khun Korn spoke fiercely. I didn't really understand the story, but I felt like it's about Porsche all the time. Porsche has been trying to ask me to help him find some truth about it. He looked very depressed and made troule with Khun Kinn almost every day. But no matter how much I wanted to help him, I still couldn't survive.
In the midst of the pouring rain and the dark sky, the situation between The Main Family and The Second Family was getting worse and worse when everything was unnegotiable. When the sound of gunfire signaled, two clans clashed with each other with the reinforcements of The Main Family that successfully hacked through the gate.
Bang!
I was fully prepared for the fight. The gun in my hand was aimed at The Second Family that they saw me as a target.
But I was in a situation where I was confused for a moment when The Second Family ran past me as if I was air.
"What?" I turned to look at the people running past me and thought to myself. They were going to insult me too much. I was the head of the bodyguard of the eldest son!! I was standing here!! Did you see me! Or I had already been dead, like I was dead without realizing it, but my last mind was tied to my love of work, so I was here.
"I can't take it anymore!" Since no one saw me, I walked over and dragged one of The Second Family bodyguards that were fighting with Arm, grabbed him, threw him into a tree, and angrily ran over him.
"I'll leave them to you. I'll go to see Khun Noo first," said Arm. So I nodded.
But the more I fought against The Second Family, the more I was annoyed when they barely fought back. They was only defending themself as if they didn't dare to take action against me. You thought that I was weak, even though my body size might not be compared to you, but my skills were beyond anyone's ability to resist.
I snagged everyone who was running past me, my hands grabbing one of the bastard's collars and yanking him to roll to the ground. But all of a sudden, my body froze, chaos crept into my mind like madness. What I saw was Khun Kinn pointing a gun at Vegas' face. My heart fluttered as the images in my head flashed that if Khun Kinn had actually fired up Vegas.
"If Second Brother is going to kill me, can I entrust one thing to Second Brother?"
"You're going to entrust it in hell!"
With a sudden mood and a brain that commands without thinking I charged so hard at Vegas that both of us fell to the ground. I straddled him and tried to lock him so he wouldn't be able to escape.
"Bastard!" I burst with anger. My fist hadn't hit Vegas's face yet. Both angry with myself for doing it for no reason and angry with him for that– shit! I don't know either. But I can't take it anymore.
"Pete! Pete!" Vegas barely had a chance to open his mouth to finish the sentence, I didn't give him a chance.
Right now I want to release the feeling that I had to repressed as he was used to use me as a vent to release his feeling. "What kind of people like you, motherfucker!"
"Pete!! I'm sorry. Can you hear that?!" Vegas grabbed my wrist and tried to force me to face him. "Sorry. I'm really sorry." I tried to keep my body not to get any closer to Vegas.
"Vegas, let me go"
"Did you get injured? Did anyone do anything to you?" Vegas looked crumpled, but his eyes looked at me with concern. For a moment, I accidentally met his eyes. In just a split second, my heart was beating almost uncontrollably no matter how hard I tried to ignore it. Trying to convince myself how this person hurt me but in the end, he was someone who had always influenced me.
"Let go of me, Vegas!" I skipped a beat so Vegas turned around and straddled me.
"Pete, I love you." Vegas used his weight to keep me from moving. His eyes, even though they were staring at me, had some glimpses of looking for his father.
"Let me go!"
"One day I may die in the hand of The Main Family. But if I can choose, I want the person who killed me to be you." I used all my strength to force back and threw Vegas to the ground, straddling him, grabbing the tiger's neck tightly.
"Why? You want to die so bad!" I yelled back. An intense anger erupted until it couldn't be stopped. I didn't even understand how just hearing Vegas say that would frustrate me this much.
"I agreed with you everything. If you want me to die, then I will die," Vegas said in a serious tone as we tossed back and forth on the grass. But it was me who hurt him on one side. He didn't even get angry or even raised his hand against me.
"Damn it! Why do you say that?" I raised my fist, preparing to use all my strength to hit Vegas. But when I saw his eyes staring at me weakly, I clenched my fists and deflected, pressing all my strength into the grass beside Vegas. "Why! Why not! Why!" I repeatedly slammed my fist against the hard ground without feeling of pain.
"Pete! Please, stop! Stop!" Vegas tried to grab my wrist and held it tightly. He easily pushed me away from his body. This time, I didn't resist anything.
Vegas immediately put his hand up as my fist was about to hit the ground again. "Stop!" Vegas shouted loudly and grabbed my hand and held it tight.
"Pete, you can't do this. Don't act like that day– the day you left me." Hearing what Vegas said, the feelings on that day that I tried to suppress and try to hide from the depths of my heart began to release little by little. That was more regret than resentment that it had done to me as it should be.
".."
I pulled my hand back and pushed him away.
Far away, the noise and the sound of gunfire continued to rise. Even though Vegas focused on me, he kept turning to look at his father from time to time. And when Vegas saw Khun Kinn walking with a gun to reach Khun Kant. Vegas tried to push himself up from the ground and rushed forward quickly.
"Dad."
In my head, they hit each other for a moment. When my hand tried to grab Vegas to stop him from scurrying to his father as he wished.
"Pete" Vegas softly called my name with a dizzying gaze as I tried to hold him back to the ground.
But he held on so hard that I almost couldn't take he. Vegas clenched his jaw tightly, his gaze relentlessly staring at me. Now it seems like there is something he wanted to ask me and kept looking at his father.
"Pete, have you ever loved me? Is it– is it possible if you choose me today?" I was silent with the question. The painful gaze of Vegas made me even more confused. Whether Vegas back then or Vegas now, how could he have hurt me so slowly over and over again.
At the moment I was trying to consciously get out of my mind. Vegas used that moment to cut my hand away and ran straight to Khun Kant quickly.
"Vegas!" I ran after him immediately.
In my head, there were two chances that were heavily conflicted, the first one was to blocked The Second Family and protect The Main Family. And the second one, I'm worried that Vegas will be harmed. What was I supposed to do, was I becoming a traitor? Betrayed The Main Family that I loved and adored or was I betraying my own feeling?
I was trying to catch Vegas with difficulty because some Second Family guys were blocking my way. But when my hand was about to touch Vegas's back, everyone in this place stood still, as if was commanded, all eyes were draw on a single point in shock, confusion, and confusion, even I myself had not thought of it. That I would see this picture... Porsche put a gun to Khun Korn.
I tried to piece it all together and understood what Porsche was going through right now. But every time Khun Korn and Khun Kant alternated stories in the past. Khun Kant's expression got worse and worse every time he heard the name of Porsche's mother, Khun Nam Phung, I could feel how much both Khun Korn, Khun Kant and Porsche were hurt by their stories.
The mournful gaze of a man who shot large and who many people depended on slowly collapses to the ground. He looked really terrible, and Vegas was looking at his father in confusion over the whole story. But even then, I could sense that Vegas still cared and didn't hate his father as he said. I looked at Vegas's back and wondered how Vegas would feel right now. Lonely? Could he accept that his father seemed to have so much feelings for Khun Nam Phung? How broken hearted as a son had to endure seeing his father was weak and grieved for someone who was not a member in his own family?
"Nam Phueng! Hia sorry, Hia really sorry." At the end of Khun Kant's humming sound, everything was tumultuous again. When Khun Kant stole the gun from a bodyguard and pointed at Khun Korn, he was caught by P' Chan. Then all the life here began to fight again.
"Restrain The Second Family from getting close to Pa!" Khun Kim shouted loudly, the other family members rushed to help Khun Kant, including Vegas, but never reached his father.
Suddenly, Porsche was pushed into the greenhouse on the edge of the lawn, followed by Khun Kant, Khun Korn, Khun Kinn and Phi Chan. Then the door was locked from inside. The rest of The Second Family tried to push in but not success.
"Pa!" Vegas tried to knock on the glass from outside. Then, The Second Family start being frighten who had started to lose their minds and made mistakes.
The sound of Khun Kim's shots fired to the bodyguards of The Second Family finally sent signal to all the men of The Main Family to point their guns to The Second Family.
"Don't move! Otherwise I'll shoot!" Khun Kim swept his gaze, causing all life around him to halt. Now, The Second Family had been defeated because The Main Family had controlled the game.
"So can I move?" asked Khun Noo among the stress, but no one cared, especially Khun Kim.
"Put down all your guns! Rise your hands up!"
The Second Family bodyguards slowly put their guns onto the ground and rised both hands above their heads. I standing behind Vegas was quite worried as Khun Kim's gaze stopped at me, intense pressure and confusion. Vegas stood still with a gun on the door. A ray of sorrow spread like he was trying to hold himself back from showing his weaker side now and when I didn't know what to do with the situation in front of the pictures of the day Vegas locked me in the room, flowing in and making me feel pain...
"..."
With the pressure plus the image that still lingers on my head would not fade, I slowly held up the gun in my hand and pointed it at Vegas' back, not knowing why I felt such a pain as the tip of my gun was snug against his back.
".."
Vegas didn't even turn to look at me. Only Khun Kim looked relieved and turned his gaze the other way. I stared blankly at his back, while think of the days he slapped me, punched me, attacked me interspersed with his smile and his relieved eyes as he looked at me. Vegas in the shape of a demon and in the shape of an angel persisted in both his actions and his words. I remembered the first few days when he came back into the room with frustration. He said that no one loved him, he was lonely. He got hurt by what everyone did to him. And he had to face the emptiness for many years. I already knew what he had gone through. You had been suffering from everything, hadn't you?
Then that day he locked me I had to pretend to be nice to him so that he wouldn't have to deal with me. He wouldn't get angry. He wouldn't have a bad temper and I had to get in troubled with this child . I am the defendant of him. I had no choice I need to survive. But when looking to his eyes whenever they changed to full of happiness, deep inside my heart I was glad that it made he feel good.
"Vegas..." In the midst of heavy rain I asked in a whisper.
"..."
Vegas kept quiet until I started to feel nervous.
"Have you eaten yet?"
I swallowed the saliva down my throat stiffly. Yes! It was a stupid question right now. If it was Vegas in the shape of a demon, he would have turned to slapped me. Now I could only pray that he understood my purpose, which is I just wanted him to be comfortable whenever I could, to lighten whatever he is carrying now. What I did now is different from other times that I didn't pretend, didn't expect anything, didn't want him to be kind. I just wanted him to feel good.
"Umh, are you hungry?" Vegas turned his head slightly to me. My body was drenched in the unceasingly pouring raindrops.
"What if I'm hungry?"
I bit my lip tightly. Even if Vegas turned to kick me right now I wouldn't be mad at him because I didn't see the situation that bad. It's like the question wasn't moderated out of the brain.
"I couldn't go to cook Mama for you right now, Pete, be patient," Vegas said in a worried tone. His peeked at me from behind and breathed a sigh of relief, as if soothing himself. "But I don't want to cook Mama for you again," Vegas said in a hoarse voice. My eyes averted with the raindrops on my face.
"Have I ever told you that eating Mama's food will make you die easily? I want you to stay with me, Pete. I want you to stay with me for a long time. Even if you won't forgive me, I'm happy just seeing you every day from far away." Vegas bent down his head.
His voice sounded begging, tried to pass on some feelings to me which I can feel his sincerity and nonpretence. Vegas slowly looked up at the door again. Even though the glass was so thick that I couldn't see anything inside, what I could clearly saw was all the anguish. Both hands were clenched tightly together as if wanting to break this impenetrable door to look for his father. But he didn't know how to do it. There was no way to hear the story inside, having no right to know what was happening to his father, didn't know what his father was feeling or was facing. It is compared to what he has encountered throughout his life. Vegas and Khun Kant blocked themselves from each other, despite there were some concerns about their father-son relationship, but only keep watching from a distance, refuse to understand each other and not having courage to open up to each other.
A gunshot sounded from inside. Vegas bent down his face calmly. His body briefly tremble from being unable to contain his emotions any longer. I knew that he knew exactly what's going on with Khun Kant. Khun Kant entered there, the ones left were The Main Family. The rest of The Second Family all looked hopeless. Some of them collapsed to the ground in tearfull. Everyone knew Khun Kant's fate since the greenhouse door had been closed for a while.
"I have nothing left now, Pete. Even so, you still choose your duty, I know that you will never choose me," Vegas said slowly, his eyes full of hopelessness.
The whole world that had been destroyed in his heart would have been completely destroyed. I looked at my hand that held the gun tightly. I didn't know when my hands were tremble. I felt like a person with no strength. My hands were getting weaker. The weight of the gun seemed to increase. And shooting Vegas whose face expression and eyes was so calm that I can't hold the gun against him anymore.
"But I'm glad, Pete, that you can still see me in your eyes. Glad to see you. And I love you." I immediately took the gun from his back. Vegas took a deep breath, closing his eyes and clutching his head in agitation.
"Vegas?"
"Ah!" Vegas seemed to be unable to suppress his emotions. He clenched its fists and smashed the door with madness.
"Pa!" He shouted to his father with a face that was all wet with rain and tears. Vegas was in such a weak state that I didn't expect it. He released all his emotions with such humility that my heart was tightly clenched. I felt hurt I couldn't even help myself anymore.
A few hesitantly, Phi Chan walked to open the greenhouse door. And the picture that appeared was Khun Kantt lying on the ground with Khun Korn standing nearby. Khun Kinn looked the other way, holding Porsche tightly in his arms. Porsche looked at Vegas with pity. And he probably didn't want this to happen, despite how bad Vegas had done to him, but he had been through a similar situation.
Vegas stared at Khun Kant's corpse with a gasping breath, as if trying to hold his consciousness. He shook his head, refusing to admit the truth. Although the person lying there was the one who caused many scars to him. But I believe Vegas still needs the most love and acceptance from Khun Kant.
"Vegas!"
Vegas turned his back from the shocking picture because he couldn't take it anymore. No matter how loud I shouted his name but it seemed that now his awareness was probably completely destroyed until nothing left. I pretended to run after him among the cry of the bodyguards of The Second Family and Khunnoo who looked at Vegas running out with sympathy. The atmosphere was so stuffy and empty that I couldn't tell.
"Even if you choose your role, you'll never choose me."
Vegas' words echoed in my head. Vegas' back faded and disappeared in the heavy rain. The blur from the water curtain made me unable to see anything well, but in my heart everything was clear. I moved my hand to hold the brooch on the left chest that symbolized and reiterated my loyalty to The Main Family I had always had. I slowly walked towards Khun Korn, a person whom I believed, trusted, and respected. I would never forget your kindness and I appreciate that he used to help my relatives. But when my heart is about to break, I can't fool myself anymore that I don't feel anything about him. How long will I have to drown in that torment? I can't take it if one day the loyalty I've always held for will come back to hurt me. If I had to defend one side and hurt the other, and both sides definitely meant something to me. until I couldn't hurt anyone.
If The Main Family doesn't have me today, they also had other people who were as loyal as me. But Vegas has nothing left. I don't pity for him. I don't sympathize with him. But if I let him go, it meant I'm not being honest with my feelings either.
NO LEGACY IS SO RICH AS HONESTY
"I'm sorry, Khun Korn." I took off the brooch and suit. Take the burden of The Main Family home back to the person who gave it to me. Thank you for your trust and all the kindness to this country boy. I never thought I'd be that good to get the highest position that was taking care of the heart of young master Tankhun who I truly love him with all my heart as well.
"I'm leaving," I said shortly. I didn't know what Khun Korn would think. Would he be disappointed in me? But I still insisted that I always respect him and all my masters of The Main Family.
"Umh, please take a look at him." Khun Korn is Khun Korn. He always used calmness and prudence in his judgments.
"Thank you, Khun Korn for having mercy on me." I bowed my head slightly before turning my back to the position of head bodyguard of the eldest son of The Main Family, and ran after to step into the world of the eldest son of The Second Family.
"Pete..." Khun called out my name. Just the periodic loud noise still touched me this much. If I turned around, I'd be even more confused. I'm sorry Khun. You were always an important person to me. But you still had Arm and Pol who still loved you as much as me. I loved you and will never forget the good feelings you gave me for a second.
"Vegas! Vegas! Vegas!" I yelled after Vegas, who was stuffing himself into the car without turning to look at me even at all.
He started the car. The rain and wind grew stronger and stronger. I tried to run after him, but he stepped on the accelerator uninterestedly until I was furious in my mind. So I myself hurriedly picked up the key of the car of The Main Family that I drove out and then quickly drove after him as well.
"Pete, I'm sorry. Stay with me. Can you promise me that you won't leave me?" The voice of Vegas on the day he unhooked my chain rang in my head. The excruciating pain of what he had done was unforgivable or I shouldn't have to feel longing for it.
But Vegas is Vegas. How did he mistreat me? Until now he still hurt me and detained me like that. Though he didn't detain my body, he just detained my feelings to sink with only him.
"I'm not going to leave you Vegas, fuck you!" My foot stepped on the accelerator trying to catch up with him. My hands tightened on the steering wheel because Vegas was driving far away from me. He was driving so fast that my heart almost stopped beating several times.
"I'm right here! What the hell are you doing to escape? Bastard!" I yelled at him loudly, hoping to express my feelings.
Now I was scared and terrified, all mixed up, I didn't know why I was nervous that much. I was worried about him. I was so worried that I almost went crazy. Vegas went through traumatic things that I thought that would imprinted on his mind forever. He might lost his mind. In addition, the road was slippery because of heavy rain. Damn it!
(Please, let these two boys be happy. I wanna hug them 🥺)
Well, I had never had Vegas' number before, so I couldn't call him to stop the car.
Vegas, please. I was begging you. It was me Vegas.
As I was about to catch up with Vegas, an incident occurred that caused me to lose my consciousness. Suddenly, a car struck in the side of Vegas's car so hard that Vegas's car turned around.
The loud sound of the cars' crash and the noise of the brakes under my feet rang at the same time. What I didn't want to happen happened right before my eyes. Vegas cars crashed onto the side of the road. My ears turned off for a moment, and all my senses were almost completely gone. My brain was empty. Every piece of my body stopped working immediately, I didn't even notice it. I could only remember that I jumped out of my car and tried to rush towards him but was captured by a large crowd. My mouth called out his name all the time. Colorful lights flashing rhythmically. Everyone tried to keep me away from the scene. I didn't know how stubborn I was because my body was scratched by trying getting into to help him. His body was fine but looked like something the cat brought in, wearing untidy shirt and losing shoes. I didn't know when and where I was, but when the cold air of the air condition hit my body it made me realize when I was sitting in front of the ICU.
"Vegas..." I called out softly. The wetness of my body or even the scratches injury did not give me the slightest feeling of fear. Only the fear was so overwhelming that it was almost unbearable.
"Hia! Hia!" A crying boy and going straight to the front of the ICU and tried to get into it.
"Khun Macau! You can't go in, Khun Macau."
"Nop, let me go!! Let me go! Hia!"
Khun Macau held onto the door tightly with his face snuggled against the glass. The other hand knocked loudly on the door. The mouth called out to his brother with another heavy sobbing.
"Khun Macau, have a seat and wait. Khun Macau." Nop continued to try to shake the figure out of the door, but he was unsuccessful.
"Then who will I be live with? Hia, wake up now! Hia, don't leave just like Pa."
A tragic picture of a boy who just lost his father and didn't know his destiny. The man himself was so pitiful. Even myself, I can barely control myself. I slowly walked towards Khun Macau with tears streaming down my face equally. Nop turned to look at me and slowly let go of Khun Macau and took a step back to avoid me. I knelt on the ground in front of Macau before he turned around and froze at my actions.
"Vegas must be fine." I forced a tearful smile at the boy in front of me and extended a hand to stroke his back a little. Khun Macau sobbed until he threw up before rushing over and hugging me.
"Really, Hia gonna be fine?" Khun Macau sit down with my help. I patted his back comfortingly. Khun Macau would be as lonely as Vegas is now.
The reason that I went down to my knees in front of Khun Macau was like giving a promise that I would be with both Vegas and Khun Macau for as long as I can. I didn't know if Vegas would recognize it or not but I would embrace love and took care of his heart to the best.
(Vegas, my poor baby 😭 And also Pete!)
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