It took two days to escape the clutches of the forest and stagger home.
The whole time my heart was hammering in my chest as my legs tried to keep me powering on.
Blood ran down my body from the gouges and bites I had been marked with. Claws carved my skin to drench my naked body that was dusted in the dirt and leaves I had been pressed to throughout those days.
I was determined to reach safety again. I had already been dragged down a few times in my escape, losing precious distance that I had to cover only moments late when I had been fucked and freed.
My stomach was pulled so tight with dread and hunger that it felt like it was trying to sever me from the inside. I had already vomited multiple times and given away my location to the stalking predator who had been relentless in being the last one to claim me.
When the demons and shapeshifters had swarmed, they fought each other to be the victor of me. Since there were so many, others snuck by and staked their claim while the initial suitors still tore strips off each other.
I was dragged through the dirt and clawed at like a piece of meat pulled between hungry dogs. When each had their fill, they hunted me down and forced me back into the dirt I tried to escape from.
Each one enjoyed the thrill of the hunt. It only invigorated them more when they enjoyed their spoils and watched me pathetically try to escape them yet again.
I didn't have time to retrieve my clothes that were torn rags now. I was stripped of any decency as I forced myself onwards for the safety of home.
The smell of herbs and hot food wafted through the air when my hands finally touched the side of my fence and dragged my body around it. My legs gave out again when I was within the safe confines of home, trembling when I forced them to bear weight just a bit longer.
I was not going to collapse like this. I was going to have some sort of dignity about myself.
Quinton was dishing up food when I staggered through the door and collapsed into the seat at the dining table.
He was quiet when he placed a plate before me and took his place opposite me at the other side of the table.
There was no concern as I bled over the floor and grunted in exhaustion. He only stabbed his baked potato and flicked his eyes back up to me.
Ethel nuzzled against my legs, lapping at the tacky blood until Quinton lured her away with her own potato he held down for her to scuttle off with.
The knife and fork beside me went untouched as I shoveled the food into my dribbling mouth. Warm meat and soft beans filled the void within me that forced sobs to shake through me. I ate around the choking sobs, gulping down the water jug Quinton placed down for me.
There was still no emotion as he watched me become a crying wreck.
"I'm glad you made it back" he finally commented, getting up to load my plate back up with more food before resuming his position "I was starting to get worried."
"Like fuck you were" I hissed back, stabbing the beans now with the fork I had to steady with both hands "I was dumped out there!"
"You were perfectly capable of leaving" Quinton replied coldly and sipped his water "did they make you want to stop fucking behind my back?"
I glared at Quinton as Ethel returned eagerly, too concerned about her witnessing us to convert anger into words.
Ethel was sent off again with a chunk of meat.
"Look at me" I snapped back at Quinton "they tore me apart! I was nothing to them but something to sharpen their claws on and dig their dicks into! Some of them physically couldn't move until they finished with me. That took hours, Quinton! And even before one was done, another was jumping on me!"
"So, something like Carter then?"
I slammed my fists onto the table to make the cutlery shake. Quinton rose, scraping his chair out slowly as he stood there silently. His arms immediately extended to grip the table and make his power known.
"We need to get some things straight, Silas" he growled at me "you are mine. And when I say that, I don't mean until I am gone or you get bored; I mean it permanently. Not Carter's, not Reid's; mine."
"You say that I'm yours, but then you throw me to the fucking wolves! " I rose now too to try and get on his level "I am not something you can just fuck and then toss aside until you are ready again!"
"And I am not someone who appreciates finding their mate always between the legs of another man! I chased him away once and I'll keep doing it until you learn!"
"Fine!"
"Fine."
We both sat back down, bitterly glaring at each other.
"A demon protects their own. I'm not going to let some lesser male steal what he wants from me" Quinton snapped.
"And a human doesn't 'own' another human" I bit back "they aren't as fragile to start fights with everyone they see and try to call it 'protection'."
Quinton's eyes hardened and he leant forward in his seat.
"Demons risk their lives to keep their own territory and children safe. The strongest keeps his mates satisfied."
"A human doesn't use sex as torture to prove a point" I jeered at his anger "perhaps that's why the demon is so poor at keeping his mate satisfied?"
Quinton hissed and I felt my ego inflate.
I had hit him where it hurt most. He deserved that after the pain he had put me through.
"Humans aren't as tough as demons" I reminded him "I can't be happy as your mate if you don't compromise with me."
"I'm not letting you go near Carter" Quinton grumbled back but I felt the tears pour downwards again.
"I only did that to make you want me!" I cried out "I thought that you catching him would kickstart something inside you and give our children an actual chance! I love you Quinton, I really do, but I'm tired of feeling so helpless. I want us to enjoy things like when you were trying to win me over and step back from burning bodies."
Quinton was quiet. His fury slowly softened on his face as his fork circled his food in thought.
"It seems tedious to win something that's already mine. I haven't had to do that."
"Having a connection and a mated bond are two different things" I chuckled at his confusion "we can be better people and better parents together."
Quinton smiled at the mention of parenthood. The rest would take a little for him to adjust too. Both our species had different focuses. His had always been taught as being the most feral of survival skills.
We both had to understand each other and our differences. Otherwise, there would be nothing but deception and bitterness between us.
Things were already getting better the following morning when I woke up with Quinton beside me. The warm sheets tried to soothe my mutilated skin Quinton's fingers rested on.
The bed was spotted with blood that had continued to seep throughout the night. No amount of dressing or cleaning seemed to calm the gouges tearing me apart.
My back was practically ribbons from where I had been fought over. My arms faired no better and were cut wide open and peppered with bite marks from all different sorts of species.
I could still hear them hissing and snarling and clicking as they fought over me. I could still feel my heavy limbs being yanked in all different directions to position me for them to destroy.
I felt so dirty; like the water would never run clean. It's warmth was like searing hot fire that made me scream out at its touch and then cry in embarrassment when Quinton came running from the bedroom in panic.
Quinton spent the morning making sure I was thoroughly bathed. He sat beside the bathtub to carefully run a washcloth over my skin.
After a while, I couldn't feel the water slicing through it anymore. It was comforting to know that Quinton did still care for me, even though he had not wanted to show it in his anger just a few days ago.
My feet hadn't touched the ground when I was carried from the bathroom, dripping and shivering, to the kitchen table and lowered into one of the chairs.
I sat there with my chest against the back of the chair while Quinton prepared the first aid kit behind me.
I had never used it and only kept it on top of the fridge where it gathered dust. My parents insisted I have one for living so far from town, and had gifted it to me as part of our parting gift. It had been played off as a big joke back then, and I kept it only as a momento of their concern for me.
Quinton was only looking for the needle within it anyway. His webs he pulled from his lips would be the thread that held me together.
"Face forward" he instructed when he looped the needle perfectly "and tell me your favourite colour."
What?
I felt the stabbing of the needle pierce through my back and the razor wire of the thread feed through either side of the gouge. My body jerked when I withheld the pain trying to make me cry out again.
He was trying to distract me from it all.
"Orange" I hissed though gritted teeth.
"Never would have taken you for an orange guy" Quinton remarked "maybe... red; like the fence."
Another stab.
"Its only red because you bled over it!" I chuckled then winced at the webs cutting through me once again.
I heard Quinton laugh. It was a soft, kind sound that made happiness bloom within me.
"Favourite flower?" he asked.
I paused to think.
It had been daisies when Reid had been the centre of my affection, since that's what he would always gift me. But now, things were different.
Childish dreams were not what I had hoped them to be.
What I had now was better than I had made myself believe back then anyway.
"Orchid" I decided and looked for my daughter who was gnawing on Quinton's longs.
She was the most beautiful orchid of them all.
"A good choice" he approved when he smiled down at her as well.
I turned back around and felt the skin squeezing together as it was tightened.
"How about you? Do demons have favourite things?"
Quinton laughed, pulling again; then continuing to stab and thread.
"I've always liked pink" his voice spoke fondly, as if touching on a memory "my mother had such beautiful pink eyes. When we were little, she had us all nested in a field of poppies. It was so big too; like it went on forever. The farmer gave her a large section and never touched it either; it was good."
I understood now why Quinton had chosen to make his old nest amongst the wildflower field. The childhood memory of being tucked in beside his mother and siblings in the flowers was obviously one of his most cherished. He wanted to feel that way again when he chose that field.
"Tell me more."
"Well..." I heard the smile on Quinton's voice "...the farmer let my mother walk with her on days she wanted company. She didn't mind that she had five little spiders running around, and used to race my brothers and sisters back to her house. She wasn't even mad when Mum killed some of her chickens to keep up her strength when she was pregnant. She actually let us have the extra eggs that she boiled. And when Mum ripped up the poppies in her section to line her nest, it became an art piece that bought in money for the farm. People could see the giant web orb for kilometers in that field."
"It sounds wonderful."
"It was" Quinton agreed "I remember Mum even sticking the poppies in her fur to make herself more beautiful; not like she needed to."
I chuckled with him and imagined a giant spider peering out innocently from under a cozy flower blanket.
"And what about your father?"
I felt the needle pierce my skin but not be fed through. Quinton was still until he cleared his throat and continued.
"I don't know much about him" he admitted "males don't tend to stick around for caring duties. He did come back a few times because Reid was born after three more broods from mine. It doesn't matter anyway" Quinton mumbled, moving to my shoulder now where he glanced up at me "what matters is that our mother protected us and raised as many as she did without losing everyone."
Everyone? So his family had suffered through grief as well. Perhaps the high mortality rate was to be expected then, no matter the species?
"Sounds like it was tough."
Quinton chuckled and moved down my arm. He focused only on the skin now to avoid looking at me.
"Tough doesn't explain it."
I touched his shoulder gently which he placed his hand over.
"You don't have to tell me if it's too painful."
"Painful" he chuckled again at the word "give me some credit; I've felt actual pain before."
I sighed at his ignorance and let him continue down my arm.
Didn't he understand that pain couldn't just be physical? Surely he had hurt so much before that he had cried from how it tore him up?
Did demons cry?
Quinton checked on Ethel running around and over the lounge, staring at her longingly.
"As much as you want to protect them, she is going to go through the same things we did."
I felt pain stab through me, but not from the needle now.
"What do you mean?"
Quinton saw how defensive I was being and rubbed his hand over mine to try and settle me.
Nothing could shake the dread I felt when I looked over at my daughter's joy. I didn't want anything to change that.
"Simply put" Quinton breathed in "she's female. Once she's of age, she's going to be ready for her own mate. Spores are going to come off her body to lure one in. It's not just going to be one that comes, Silas. They can reach several kilometers."
"I'll invest in a gun" I vowed "a really, really big one."
Quinton laughed at me and shook his head.
"Silas, she's going to be a mother eventually. And each time she has a new brood, she'll have to protect them from other males trying to kill them."
I tore my eyes from Ethel to stare at Quinton.
"Is that what happened to you?"
"That's what I'm trying to get you to understand" he nodded "any other male will kill what isn't theirs. It's how things go out there."
I felt my stomach drop when I realised that the losses his mother had weren't from weak genes being weaned out; it was from brutal murders.
None of them had stood a chance.
"How many did your mother lose?" I whispered.
"Sixty-seven" Quinton replied softly, shifting to my other arm "forty-three were from when the droughts killed off all the food. We were forced to eat what my mother gave us; no matter what it was. Males took the rest."
Tears ran down my cheeks and I saw Ethel stop her rampage over the couch to snuggle into the arm and stare at us instead.
She was too young and innocent to be destined for such a dark future.
My own baby...
"I don't want her to do that!" I gasped out and moaned into Quinton's hands that held my face between them.
"As long as we are here, no-one is going to hurt her like that. We are going to keep her safe and fed, I promise you. We will not let her starve, Silas. Do you see bones on our baby? She'll be fine."
"W-what about..." I paused, trying to find the wording for it "...the spores?"
"She won't be of age until she is sixteen" Quinton soothed "and no greedy bastard is getting to her before she decides who she wants."
I felt the worry lifting from my chest as my eyes were dried. Quinton tied off the last knot then leant in to wrap me in his arms and hold me close.
"I'll keep you both safe" he whispered against me "and any other that joins our family."
I understood Quinton's possessiveness perfectly now when I held onto him.
He had learnt the hard way that life was brutal and unforgiving. He was only trying to stop the same things that he witnessed repeating themselves. To him, everything was a potential threat.
Even Carter was an enemy in his eyes, because Quinton had seen what a male would do to children that weren't theirs. To him, Ethel was dancing on death's doorstep each time Carter was allowed inside me.
I didn't know Ethel had left the lounge until I felt her nudge her way between us. Her eyes peered up at us expectantly before her mandibles latched onto my arm to nibble at the underskin.
"If she could just stay small forever..."
"I can give you more little ones" Quinton nudged my head with his "I'll bring the female here so we can try as many times as you like. It'll be risky, but I think it's worth the chance for you."
I rested my head to his chest and brushed my fingers over Ethel's fur to make her crone in delight.
"How long?"
"Maybe five days to get her back here, depending on how much of a fight the others are going to put up. She's a rarity that is going to attract attention wherever she goes. It's going to be tough."
"Will you be OK with that?" I looked up to Quinton who planted a kiss on my nose.
"If I have to take more scars to let our family grow, I will. I'll wear them with pride when I see that room filled for you."
Ethel's arms reached up for us and I lifted her up so she could be nestled against Quinton's chest. She bristled up when his hand ran over her body to soothe her.
"I had better not smell another male on you when I return" Quinton warned "I'm doing this for you, Silas. Please don't make it all be for nothing."
"It won't be" I ran my hand along his hard jaw before he grabbed it "I'm yours. I want this to happen with you."
I heard him growl in delight and lean in to kiss me. Ethel reached up to try and place her arms between us before Quinton pulled away to plant kisses on them instead and make her retract to huddle back against his chest.
"That's what I like to hear" Quinton approved as he tilted my head up with the lightest of touches while he gently pressed Ethel to me so he could rise up "you had better get that nursery fixed up then."
I chuckled at his cheeky smile as he disappeared to prepare for the travel. Ethel remained cradled to my chest, having fallen asleep.
This was a feeling I could savour forever. The warmth that radiated through me for her was overflowing and beautiful and pickled my eyes with tears.
And as Quinton finished packing for his journey then returned to bid me his aggressively passionate farewells before walking out into the darkness, I had never felt more complete.
I couldn't wait to meet my children and hold them like this. To look over my nursery for the first time and find it complete was what I would have to wait just a little longer for.
Everything was falling into place exactly as I had hoped.
I just had to be patient.
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