嚓——! 一聲,點點星火聚成火苗,將一根香煙點起。我將香煙放喺鋅盤邊,凝望住飄喺空中嘅白煙,睇住佢虛實不定嘅形態,內心先稍為放鬆。
358Please respect copyright.PENANAAFzyt8i4rI
Miss Wong 要去英國⋯⋯我仲點瞓得著呀。
358Please respect copyright.PENANAotjTQm6MfV
「喂,你搞咩呀?」敷緊Mask嘅家姐走咗入嚟廚房,佢除咗個Mask掉入垃圾桶,再順晒鏗咗我個頭一下,話:「作死你呀?偷老豆啲煙嚟食。」
358Please respect copyright.PENANALBP2rytQM8
「好撚痛呀!⋯⋯戒咗好耐啦⋯⋯唉⋯⋯」
358Please respect copyright.PENANAArhzJ29rtE
「咁拎嚟,唔好嘥料啦。」家姐拎起枝煙,一吸再一呼,動作好自然,又好優雅,睇到我呆咗。家姐以嘲笑嘅意味講:「做咩呀?」佢見我嚇呆咗,笑得有啲得戚。
358Please respect copyright.PENANAd4gQTF9wYv
由細到大家姐好聽阿爸阿媽話,循規蹈矩,粗口都唔會講一句。但睇住家姐拎住支煙吞雲吐霧,動作唔似新手,令我好難以置信!
358Please respect copyright.PENANASM4pfp6QCR
「好出奇咩?」家姐坐喺地下,抱住膝:「你家姐我唔係你諗得咁簡單架!」
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「幾時嘅事嚟架?」
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「秘密!哈哈⋯⋯!」家姐同我好有默契,知我講緊佢食煙。家姐吸一啖,吐一口煙,笑說:「知唔知點解阿爸戒唔到煙?」家姐見我擰頭就話:「阿爸做嘢壓力好大。返工成日唔開心。佢話食枝煙會少好多煩惱⋯⋯。哈哈,爸爸係粗人一個,但佢從來都唔會對仔女講大話。你冇事呀嘛?」家姐彈咗下煙灰,我正想講Miss嘅事時,佢打岔咗我:「喂,好似差啲嘢喎。」家姐叫我望去雪櫃,示意我拎兩枝啤酒出嚟。
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嘩,呢個仲係咪我家姐嚟架?我以前講句粗口都被佢篤灰架喎!定係⋯⋯呢一刻我想認識真正嘅家姐?我開咗兩枝啤酒,正想遞一枝畀佢時,我猶豫咁縮手。家姐反一反白眼,就笑住話:「唔篤你灰呀!拎嚟啦!」
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家姐拎走枝啤,喺佢飲之前就望一望我後就向我舉樽:「謝子匡。」
358Please respect copyright.PENANAaIHDccXIhv
叮——!碰樽!
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呢下動作令我鬱悶嘅心情稍為好咗啲。飲咗幾啖酒,人開始Wing,於是我鼓起勇起講:「家姐呀,一個女人,如果畀到名份佢,咁佢係咪唔會走架?」
358Please respect copyright.PENANACvlP3N0wvc
家姐本來想飲啖酒,佢聽完眉頭一皺,向我望嚟:「搞咩呀?你想點呀?」
358Please respect copyright.PENANAljHwdNJ4Ya
我低頭嘆口氣,拎個戒指盒出嚟。家姐見到即刻兩眼發光:「嘩——!你⋯⋯你⋯⋯發咗達呀?起碼六位數架喎!如果計埋粒石幾卡、顏色、切割⋯⋯分分鐘要一球架喎!」
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一⋯⋯一百萬?!我屌⋯⋯
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「唔使牛咁眼望住我啦!我嗰個⋯⋯」我喺褲袋潛另一個戒指盒出嚟,話:「喺呢度呀。」
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家姐拎上手,話:「哈⋯哈⋯⋯係『周記』喎!哈哈⋯⋯」
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「唉⋯⋯連你都笑。」
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「幾多錢呀?」
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「折埋一千有找。」
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「啊⋯⋯哈哈哈!好撚cheap呀!」
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「屌你啦謝子瑜!」
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「sor⋯⋯sor⋯⋯!唔係呀,中學雞嚟講,真係唔簡單架啦!」
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「唉⋯⋯你未答我呀。如果可以畀到女人一個名份,咁佢係咪唔會走架?個關係係咪會穩定啲架?」
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家姐用酒樽雪一雪自己塊面,諗咗陣,反問我:「點為之唔會走?」
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「留低同你一生一世囉。」
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「嘩⋯⋯好大束縛喎。」
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「束縛?」
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「同你過人世喎,你估講玩架?」家姐飲啖酒:「如果我條仔而家突然同我求婚,我都嚇死啦!」
358Please respect copyright.PENANAEnsETQqxEE
「咁⋯⋯咁⋯⋯」我左思右想,總係諗唔到Miss接唔接受呢隻戒指。我正想講「冇晒辦法」,但呢四個字太重,我講唔出。停一停後,我舉起Vick嘅戒指盒:「咁如果呢盒戒指嘅主人,同盈盈⋯⋯已經有深厚嘅感情基礎⋯⋯」
358Please respect copyright.PENANAV0SwI3FuDn
「你想講緊係盈盈嘅Ex呀嘛?」家姐真係我家姐,總係逃唔出佢法眼。
358Please respect copyright.PENANANhWxV3RIDR
我點下頭繼續講:「盈盈同Ex分手,但而家佢Ex唔只想同⋯⋯盈盈一齊返,分分鐘想同佢結婚⋯⋯」
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我講到好含糊,因為一提Vick同Miss,我個心就痛到裂。然後我吸咗啖氣,對眼開始熱,盈住淚水,刻意唔畀家姐望到我,哽咽咁講:「我⋯⋯我今日撞到盈盈個Ex,阿 Vick⋯⋯佢車我返嚟。當刻我感覺到自己渺小到連細菌都不如。佢想我代佢送呢盒戒指畀盈盈。Vick係個生意佬,做任何嘢都計過晒。喺食飯前,我個心好亂,諗咗好多嘢。Vick一定會將盈盈追返翻嚟,佢唔會輸,唔會放棄,一定用盡方法打動到盈盈為止!」我飲咗啖酒,繼續講:「⋯⋯我冇辦法⋯⋯我可以做啲咩?我係中學生嚟咋⋯⋯我點同Vick鬥?家姐你都識講呢盒戒指閒閒地都一球!但係我⋯⋯」
358Please respect copyright.PENANAXDotZQgaO5
我舉起自己嘅戒指,一種自卑感由心而嚟:「我今日揀禮物時,連$3000嘅戒指都買唔起呀!最後要買最平最cheap!仲要係聖誕檔期計埋我折頭我先買到呀!」
358Please respect copyright.PENANAGIr3GTuWVx
我愁到裂時,家姐遞咗佢手上嘅煙畀我。我擰手示意唔洗,繼續講:「⋯⋯盈盈呢排因為Vick返嚟嘅事搞到情緒好差。佢試過突然發神經掉低我喺條街度,喊晒暗示想同我分手!Vick 雖然可能傷得佢好深!但同時證明咗盈盈以前係幾咁愛阿Vick!佢地感情好深厚⋯⋯」
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「我同盈盈⋯⋯一齊三個月都唔夠。不論感情基礎、經濟條件,甚至係前途!我都比唔上Vick!家姐⋯⋯」
358Please respect copyright.PENANAOcfoOYpX5g
我含住眼淚,好無助咁望住家姐:「⋯⋯如果我唔喺盈盈身邊,Vick趁機會接近佢。然後畀名份盈盈⋯⋯咁我係咪會被淘汰?盈盈係咪會唔要我呀?」
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「乜嘢你唔喺盈盈身邊呀?」
358Please respect copyright.PENANAF0ex3L7Q4G
我嘆一口氣,繼續話:「盈盈要去英國讀書。」
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「吓?!咁突然嘅?!」
358Please respect copyright.PENANAdtuXhEDWpP
「嗯。盈盈想轉行,要讀多個Master。Long D 呀家姐,你試過未?先唔講會唔會分手⋯⋯Master 呀家姐。我連Dse都未考!仲要唔知讀唔讀到大學添呀!但我女朋友已經讀緊Master啦!」
358Please respect copyright.PENANAZHt7rDG7eL
我頹到連酒樽都舉唔起,兩眼無神咁望住一點:「盈盈起碼要喺英國讀三、四年。我地嘅感情可以點?家姐你拍拖多過我,你試過幾個月冇見男朋友未?你地嘅感情會變成點?」
358Please respect copyright.PENANAZbBd0UGMhp
「唉⋯⋯」連家姐都嘆咗口氣。佢扯埋最後啖煙,就一個手指將煙頭彈去鋅盤入面,佢擰晒頭冇嘢好講。
358Please respect copyright.PENANAO7UdPmB9ei
「我知啦,你入嚟都係呃飛煙食啫。」我飲啖悶酒講。
358Please respect copyright.PENANAHmln3ojvLu
「又唔好咁講,死仔。」家姐飲啖酒,佢Wing 咗,兩隻眼瞇起咁講:「或者你需要嘅唔係方法。」
358Please respect copyright.PENANAOrjIBV1OG0
我不解咁望住家姐。家姐對我微笑,坐近我身邊。我從來都未見過家姐咁溫柔,搞到我唔好意思望佢。點知家姐伸手埋嚟,將我塊面擰去佢嗰邊。
358Please respect copyright.PENANAbhBw70MluM
「做乜嘢呀謝子瑜。」因為我仲眼紅紅咁,實在好難為情。唔想畀家姐見到我呢個死款。
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「想⋯⋯望真啲你囉。」
358Please respect copyright.PENANAuQsOATEhLS
我撥開家姐隻手,鬱悶咁講:「有咩咁好睇喎!喪家狗咁樣。」
358Please respect copyright.PENANAtiDaHz5sZZ
「以前家姐剩係識嫌你懶,嫌你呢樣做得差,嗰樣做得唔好。我到今日都仲記住你小一時食早餐個發吽哣樣。嗰時呢⋯⋯真係好撚憎你。點解我細佬咁冇出息,咁唔爭氣。」家姐笑一笑,有啲慚愧:「講起上嚟,我而家先知原來我錯過咗好多嘢。我掛住衝會考、衝A Level,但就好少關心你。」
358Please respect copyright.PENANAbICzUuWmje
「講⋯⋯講呢啲做咩喎⋯⋯」我擦一擦好酸嘅鼻,差少少就喊出嚟。
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「我細佬而家因為一個女仔,改晒啲壞習慣!仲好畀心機讀書!識得為人地喊⋯⋯哈哈!以前你被阿爸綁起嚟打都唔會喊架嘛!但你為盈盈喊過幾多次?我相信唔只一次。我個衰細佬好認真咁愛一個人,原來我真係⋯⋯」家姐又伸隻手埋嚟,好溫柔咁摸我髮頂,柔聲咁講:「錯過咗你成長嘅瞬間。我細佬真係大個仔咗⋯⋯」
358Please respect copyright.PENANA3yPPsCdlnj
忽然間,我腦內出現零碎嘅片斷,耳仔斷斷續續咁聽到啲聲。由細到大,家姐都係踩我、鬧我嘅多。我地兩姐弟亦都三唔埋兩句就嗌交、打交。細個時我細粒過佢,天靈蓋真係差啲畀佢擰甩⋯⋯呢十六年嚟我真係冇聽過家姐同我講——
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「家姐撐你!」
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「家姐冇方法幫到你呀,但我會喺你身邊!」
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我心內嘅感動好似海嘯咁席捲而嚟,呢一下衝擊令我眼淚狂飆,大喊出嚟——
358Please respect copyright.PENANAA5MSiWiQKR
「家姐⋯⋯我好辛苦呀!嗚⋯⋯盈盈去咗英國嘅話,我唔知點維持落去⋯⋯阿 Vick一定會娶佢!」
358Please respect copyright.PENANAEzLnsE8395
「⋯⋯我好似爬緊一座山咁,盈盈喺山頂等緊我。我一直爬,一直爬!即使中間跌過幾次,但我只要揸住一個信念就可以堅持落去!我努力讀好書,上大學!慢慢拉近我地嘅距離!我相信終有一日我可以爬到上山頂!⋯⋯點⋯⋯點知⋯⋯嗚⋯⋯」
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「⋯⋯原來都唔等人嘅!嗚⋯⋯嗚⋯⋯我⋯⋯我連山腰都未到呀!佢就話要爬去另一個山峰⋯⋯嗚⋯⋯」
358Please respect copyright.PENANApSFj6s1Ya7
「⋯⋯佢Ex直接揸架火箭嚟接佢上月球都得添呀!我仲喺⋯⋯山腳⋯⋯係山腳咋!⋯⋯嗚⋯⋯⋯」
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「⋯⋯我唔想盈盈走呀⋯⋯但⋯⋯我唔夠阿Vick鬥⋯⋯我可以點做?呢⋯⋯呢隻戒指⋯⋯我唔知送唔送畀盈盈好⋯⋯」
358Please respect copyright.PENANAOMs9V6R2wQ
我喊住將戒指遞去家姐度,家姐望咗一眼就話:「你知唔知戒指對一個女仔來講有好重要嘅意義架?」家姐都有好多難於啟齒嘅說話想同我講,但佢只係嘆一口氣後就摸摸我髮頂,佢畀唔到方法我,只默默講一句:「傻仔,畀啲信心啦。重點唔係你送唔送隻戒指,而係你信唔信。」
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「相信盈盈,相信你自己。」
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「不過無論你點做都好⋯⋯」
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我喊住望返家姐。家姐一手攬落嚟,我地兩姊弟額頭擦額頭——
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「家姐永遠支持你。」
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