This entry is a little different than usual.
About 4-5 months ago, my lifelong friend, confidant, and lifesaver Dan told me he was in a long-distance relationship. I didn't quite get it at the time. I don't think I do even today. I never really "got" romance, but whatever. He was having fun, and the lady he was speaking with and playing video games and watching movies with was adorable and fun to be around. We played a pretty good sum of Team Fortress 2 with her.
For reference, the first key defining factor towards me learning of and identifying as aromantic was Dan. He had been in 2 or 3 previous relationships, and he hated every minute. He told me that it wasn't worth getting involved with, and I accepted his words. He had a lot of experience with the matter, and I had literally zero.
Dan was very happy with his relationship, and I wondered if my own doubts and ire about the topic were just because I had a bad secondhand experience with the topic as well. I had never even considered started a relationship, and yet the one person I trusted with having the right ideas on the topic had done a complete 180. It perplexed me, and I couldn't help but consider that this might reflect my own experiences in the future. Maybe. Maybe not. I don't feel very comfortable with it. I questioned myself an awful lot between then and now, and even past that.
Just today, Dan cut ties with her. I don't know why, it sounds like she cut ties with him. He is really torn up, upset with me and with a lot of people. I really don't know what to make of the situation anymore. I don't know what it means for me. I don't even think I want to get involved with relationships. It's all so delicate and I don't have that much energy for social contact with people anymore. I don't know what this means for Dan and I, and I don't know what it means for me and my identity.
Anyways, what's new with you.
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