As we pulled off the main road onto the long meandering drive that led to the Sanctuary, we both began to reassemble the faces we needed when we were together inside the Sanctuary. We'd both slept most of the trip back, me draped all over him and he with his arms under my shirt and wrapped around me.
There are certain rules that all Shapers have to adhere to. The first and most important, no human is to be allowed to know of our existence, ever. We had permission to terminate any human who knew or even came close to knowing who or what we were. Right behind that one came the fact that all of us were expected to live within one of the four Sanctuaries. There are four of them one in North America, another in Africa, and the other two were in China and Europe. We could move and live in any of the four we wanted, but never were we to live in the outside world. It was the fourth rule that I was finding the hardest to abide by. No shaper was ever allowed to fall in love. Relationships were not forbidden but only if we kept them at the superficial level. We have to remain with no ties to anyone or anything, except the Sanctuary.
But now I've been in a relationship with Varden for over a year, and he had made it very clear that he didn't do superficial. He wanted commitment, or he was finished. So, what could I do, my mind, my training, everything inside me had screamed at me to tell him off and be done with it. I had just one problem, a quiet voice in my head telling me he was the one, the one I would spend the rest of my very long life with. He was the one that would take away my loneliness and fill my life with joy and contentment.
So, we had to come up with a system to fool the Sanctuary. When we were inside the four walls we were and acted as if we knew each other, nothing more. When we were outside the Sanctuary and alone, it was a different matter. I'd be lying if I were to tell you it was easy. It was emotionally painful to have to watch him every day and not be with him. That was the main reason Varden, and I decided it was best for him to live outside the Sanctuary. Both of us living in the same place, it was too risky. There was no way our secret would have stayed safe.
"You know it's not going to always be like this. Someday things will change around here, Damaris can't stop that now." I turned to him away from the window where I'd been looking out on the rolling green grass.
How did he do that? He could always tell what I was thinking just by watching me.
"I know, but I hate this part. I shouldn't have to hide what I'm feeling, if anything I should be shouting it to everyone who will listen. Yet I can't even tell my own mother I'm in love with someone." My forehead hit the window with a dull thud as the main building came into view.
Through the maze of towering Oak trees, a massive edifies of white marble revealed itself. The front entrance was flanked by huge columns that were three feet across and twenty feet high. There were twelve of them, six on the right and six on the left holding up the overhang of the roof. The overhang covered the huge porch that spanned the entire front of the house.
A hand squeezed mine, and I turned to see Varden sitting next to me.
"The sooner we get this done the sooner I can leave, and you can find some excuse to come and find me." His smile disarmed my dismay, and I leaned my head on his shoulder.
"Are you ready?" I asked as I pulled away from him.
"No," he said shaking his head. "But when has that ever stopped me?"
With a slight jolt our ride came to a stop and Varden slid out his side and sprinted around the large vehicle before my driver could even get out of his seat. With a grand flourish he swept the door open and stood before it like a moron, ramrod straight, one hand on the door handles the other crossed over his chest as if in salute.
"You know you're not supposed to do that?" I growled under my breath as my driver sprinted from his door, his face ashen.
"Why, I'm just a guy after all? Isn't it my place only to serve?"
"No, it is not your place," I looked up as I stepped out of the door and my heart ended up in my throat.
"High mother, I had no idea you would greet us personally. Why are you here?" The words were out of my mouth before I could catch them.
"And what young one? Am I not allowed to move about this place when and where I please?" I knew by her tone she was displeased. Not that Damaris was ever pleased, she wore a perpetual scowl like it was glued to her face.
"I am sorry high mother; I meant no offence by it. I was just wondering why you would choose to greet us yourself?" I lowered my head in deference and gave Varden a sidelong look to see him still standing straight as an arrow.
Damaris turned from me to Varden and stepping right up to him asked. "And are you happy to see me young one, hmmm?"
"As happy as can be expected Damaris." He returned as deadpan as he could. I know he didn't like the woman, but did he have a death wish?
"As irreverent as ever, I see." She snapped her head up to look into his eyes so fast her mane of shiny black hair flowed like a wave behind her.
"Do you know what has happened here boy, do you? A member of this Sanctuary, my Sanctuary has been murdered. I have wanted you back here for weeks, yet Catherine here has been stalling, it's almost like she knows something the rest of us do not about you." She grabbed the door and shut it out of his hand. "So, tell me boy, why do you resist so desperately that which every other male on this planet would see as a gift?"
He was going to say something stupid and get his head taken off, I knew this was a bad idea.
"What other men would see as a gift I see as wretched." Varden met her gaze and rose out of his slouch to his full height, from there it was he who towered over Damaris. "You women spend your bodies as if they were currency, something to be traded for whatever you need. I on the other hand have never been with a woman, the first I am with will be my wife. The reason I don't want to stay here is because most of you disgust me." Oh, now he'd gone and done it, I could see she was one screw turn away from blowing her top.
"Come Catherine, we have business inside, don't we?" Varden stepped to the side and walked around Damaris, the high mother of the North American Sanctuary.
I could see her seethe from where I stood and knew it was only a matter of time before something happened.
"Don't turn your back on me boy." Damaris's hiss cut through the faint sound of leaves being tossed around by the slight breeze.
"You've done it this time," I told him. "Any last words?" I looked over at Varden who had come to a complete stop, waiting.
"It's about time," were the only words he whispered as a broad grin spread across his face.
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