Abbey
"So we all took bets, Babs. Sonic sent a case of burgers here today and there's two left. If I'm wrong, I lose out on a third one.
I smile into the camera. "And that means what exactly."
"That you should tell me the answer before I guess." He grins.
"Hmm. But what if I don't know the answer?"
"You're a bad liar. Have you told anyone?"
"Just your sister and Char."
The light in his eyes fades and his smile falls away. "You're hanging out with Charlene? I thought she moved to New York?"
"She's home for a bit. What's the problem?"
"She's not the best influence, that's all."
I roll my eyes. "I understand she's not cookie cutter like the rest of Brighton, but she's still my best friend, Bray."
He sigh and stares back at the camera. "I don't want to argue right now, Babs. Just be careful, all right? Don't get wrapped up in her drama."
"I never have."
His smile grows back. "Getting back to the subject..."
"What's that?"
He rolls his eyes.
"I think I have the results somewhere." I look around me and bend down to the floor before popping up into the camera view again. "Oh right, here."
I lift up my shirt to reveal my bulging belly that Belle kindly outfitted with a large pink sticker earlier today. IT'S A GIRL, it reads, in black Sharpie.
Braeden's dazzling smile lights up the screen. "I knew it! Hey guys!" He calls back over his shoulder. "It's a girl!"
Cheering and celebrating ensues. Braeden receives slaps on the back, hugs and high fives from his comrades. I can't help but smile and let a few tears roll down my face.
I'm so excited for us.
I can't wait until he gets home.
"I love you," he says.
Braeden has moved into another area, what I can only guess is his bunk. He does this from time to time when he has something important to tell me. My only hope is that it has nothing to do with a mission, just that he wants to talk about our future.
"I love you too, Bray."
"Listen."
My gut sinks. His expression has grown serious which only means he has news to break to me.
It's never a good thing.
"I'm going into the woods for a bit," he continues. "Tomorrow. I don't know how long it will last this time. Something's going down but I can't talk about it."
I do all I can to keep my composure. Losing it now won't be good for either of us. Braeden needs me to tell him this is okay. That I'll be okay. It will help him end our call tonight with less worry in his heart.
"Please be careful," I whisper. "Use the extra body gear your mom sent you."
He laughs. "I can't wear all that gear on top of my own. I'll suffocate, Babs. I told her not to do that."
"I just want you to be safe."
"I always am."
We stare at each other for awhile. That's how we always end our calls, looking into each others eyes. I know I don't have a choice but to say goodnight.
"If I can write you from the field I will," he reassures me. "Take care of that baby. Let E know if you need something."
"I will."
"I'll talk to you soon, Babs. Love you."
"I love you too."
He smiles, then logs off. The laptop beeps once, then again.
Beep...
Beep.
Beep.
My eyes open a crack, then slam shut. It's too much effort there. They feel like ten ton weights and my head starts to pound. My body feels stiff, paralyzed. I can't move at all.
The beeping is a constant. Real. Braeden, while right in front of me, was a dream again.
That's always the case.
"...three day binge..."
"....a week or so...can't be on her feet..."
"....treatment programs...discussion..."
I think I hear the conversation but can't be sure. Footsteps come, then die away. Someone asks someone else to go home and get some sleep. There's protest. A tired, scratchy male voice that refuses to leave. I don't know him. Then Charlene is asking we be left alone.
She's all I have in this world.
I completely fucked up last night. I shouldn't have taken those pills with that coke still in my system.
Another overdose.
I'll have to start all over again. They'll send me to a therapist and from there I'll go to rehab. Then do community service for who knows how long so I can get a job recommendation afterwards.
Ethan. What happens if he finds out? Our visit was bad enough.
Chels...oh God. He'll never bring her back.
I force my eyes open, groaning as I attempt to sit up. The hospital. There's tubes running in and out of my arms and I feel something covering my nose and mouth. I reach up to tear it away but my hands and fingers are numb and I can't get a grip.
"Morning."
The scratchy male voice is back. I look in his direction, terrified that it's Ethan with a bad cold. It's not though.
God, he looks so familiar. I squeeze my eyes shut and try to think about last night, about what I was doing and who I was with.
Nothing. I can't remember a damn thing.
"They said you'd probably forget all about me," he chuckles and rubs the sleep out of his eyes. "I'm Cole. We were hanging out at Helix last night."
Helix. Right. I work there on weekends.
At least I did.
I reach up again, desperate to get this thing off of my face.
"Here, let me get that."
Cole gets up from the chair and pulls it away. It's an oxygen mask. I let it fall onto my lap.
"What happened." My voice is weak, tired. I sound half dead.
"You overdosed, apparently. The doctor said they had to pump your stomach."
I lean back against the pillows, desperate to stop my tears. I feel a few fall and wipe them away.
"This isn't your first go around is it?"
My eyes float to meet his gaze. His expression isn't filled with disgust, only concern and some type of understanding.
This guy is a stranger. There's no reason why he should be here right now. I'm not worth all of this trouble.
"That's obvious," I say. "The thing I don't understand is why you ended up here with me."
Cole shrugs and lets a dazzling smile escape across his expression. It turns me into mush. I can't get over it. He's too damn good looking despite how tired he is.
"I didn't want you to be alone. Your boss made your friend stay behind for a while. She's here now, she went to get coffee."
"He's a jerk."
"Who?"
"Mike."
"Oh, that's your boss?'
I nod.
"I sensed he wasn't the greatest."
"It doesn't matter. I don't have a job there anymore."
Cole rubs the back of his neck and looks at the floor for a moment before meeting my gaze again.
"Look, they said you'll have to stay here for a few days so you can detox. Is there anyone I can call?"
"No." I shake my head. "Charlene is the only one."
"You must have family."
"I don't."
I say it too quickly. His sigh proves he thinks I'm lying to him.
"Okay. I don't know you, all right? I can go. I just wanted to make sure you were good, for whatever reason. The whole thing is just as weird for me. I mean, I slept here. That's completely out of character for me."
"You slept here?"
A smile cracks at the corner of his mouth. "It depends if you think that's creepy. If that's the case, I definitely went home."
My cheeks grow hot and I can't help but smile. "I don't think it's so creepy."
"I'm going to leave you my card." He reaches into his pocket and places it on the nightstand. "After this whole thing blows over, give me a call so I know how you're doing."
"I might not."
He chuckles. "But you might. Just between you and me, I definitely remember everything that happened last night, and I enjoyed myself."
"What happened?"
"You'll have to call me for the story."
"That's not really fair."
Cole leans over the bed and gives me a soft kiss on the cheek. I'm caught off guard and find myself staring up at him like some stupid kid. I notice crystal blue eyes. The bluest blue. The beginnings of fatigue circles surround them but it doesn't take away from their beauty.
I get lost in them without realizing and have to force my gaze from his.
"Take care of yourself. Get off that shit. It'll ruin your life, trust me."
It's the last thing he says before walking out of the room.
For a long time I lay there, trying to make sense of everything that's gone on in a three day period. After awhile I grow curious, and slide the card off the nightstand, taking in the information.
Donner Financial
386 Wall Street, Lv. 104
New York, NY 10005
Cole Donner
Senior Vice President
Mergers, Acquisitions and Corporate Development
O: (212) 567-4511 ext 6528
C: (212) 963-8935 (24/7)
As Charlene would put it, 'I sure roped in a good one'.
I flip the card over, surprised when I find some writing on the back.
Abbey,
Keep your head up, beautiful. It's going to be okay. Give me a call sometime.
All the best,
Cole
Charlene bursts into the room suddenly with a tray of coffee and a box of pastry. "What'd I miss? Omigod, did he finally leave?"
She plops down in the chair at my bedside and starts to consume her sugary breakfast as if nothing happened last night. It's a normal reaction. An enabling one. She'd never force me to stop using or threaten to kick me out of the apartment we share. She's just as messed up as me; parties with hard core drugs, drinks a lot and sleeps with random men any given night of the week.
"Yeah, he left," I tell her.
"Can you believe he slept here?"
She holds the box of pastries out for me, but I wave her off.
"Yeah, it was kind of weird but-- I dunno, he was sweet."
"Sweet." She cackles. "More like loaded. I was trying to pry into the financial sitch, you know me. He lives at Central Park West in that new luxury high rise. I Googled it. I'm pretty sure your assets have to total a hundred million just to fill out an application."
"Stalker."
She rolls her eyes. "I'm looking out for you."
"He's some kind of investment executive. He left me his card." I pass it to her.
Charlene smiles as she reads the front and back of the card. "Cole Donner. As in, the Manhattan Donners."
"Who?"
"Just one of the richest families in New York. His father started that big firm, Donner Financial. They're billionaires. Shit Abbey, this could be your ticket. You have to call him."
"If I was going to call him it wouldn't be because of his money."
"Then you're missing half the point of this."
"Charlene---"
"He likes you. You should have seen him last night at the club. He was practically ordering the EMT's around and demanding answers from the ER doctor. It turned me on for sure."
"Please. You're exaggerating. He was not doing that."
"When do I exaggerate?"
I narrow my eyes at her.
"Okay fine, but I wouldn't lie about that. He's definitely feeling some kind of way. So, are you going to call?"
I shrug and look out the window to my left. "I doubt it."
"You should. You know, you could date for a while then you could tell him about Chels--"
"I am not doing that."
I glare at her and she tenses slightly.
"I'm just trying to help you out. You need some kind of pick me up. God damn."
"I'm not that desperate."
She cackles. "Yes you are. You're my best friend. We're both desperate and broke."
I sigh. She has a point even though I hate it.
"Call him," she persists. "I mean, after you're feeling better. You never know, he might be a cool guy. I don't know anyone from that scene that would have slept in the hospital for a woman they just met."
"Yeah, maybe."
Charlene continues to eat her pastry, drifting off to other topics. She's pissed that the rest of her pills are gone, she's out of drugs. Mike is a jerk for keeping her behind last night, detox is going to suck, she'll try to quit--for real this time.
My mind drifts from her chatter. I start to think about him. Every time this happens all I can seem to think about is him. What would he think of me now? Would he disown me because of what I've done to Chels, the things I allowed Ethan to do, or would he get it? Would he love me anyway?
Is he alive?
I want to say no. No, he's gone. Dead. One day they'll find a leg or an arm or a skeletal formation.
I feel sick. I pull the bucket from the nightstand and vomit. Charlene asks if I'm okay. She buzzes for the nurse. I'm checked by one, begrudgingly, soon after. They hate my kind. I'm a waste of time for them, because I've done this to myself and could have prevented it.
My name is Abbey Sampson, formerly Feldman. I go by Feldman these days. It's too painful to go by Sampson. Well that and I don't want to tarnish Bray's name anymore than I have already. I'm a drug addict. Seven years ago, my husband went missing during a mission he was leading in Afghanistan. His body was never recovered. I gave birth to our daughter three months after his disappearance and soon after, tried Cocaine at a party I attended with a childhood friend--Charlene Joyson. The high numbed the pain I felt inside and I quickly became a slave to that drug among others, causing my life to turn into a downward spiral that I've never been able to overcome. I've lost everything that was important in my life due to my addiction and only get to see my daughter twice a year.
This is my tenth relapse in two years.
I don't know how I'll dig myself out this time.
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