由相遇那天計起已約11年半，但我從沒有忘記過牠，如果那一天沒有跟牠相遇，也沒有今天的我。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpvaGY3iwMX
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ2J9IjtWIn
回想那天，仍在唸書的我在寵物店看見牠，牠是我最喜歡的喜樂蒂牧羊犬。在我的人生計劃表中，其中一個目標是有生之年一定要養一次狗，因此飼養的知識一直都有看。在取得母親同意之下，我便把牠買下來。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOgBEPQAbd
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyX3PIbZOBq
牠是個三個月大的女孩子，尚算可以一手抱起，以這狗種來說是微胖的體型。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB8iZq4Fddm
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDBWRaNeci
起初牠只會待在自己的小窩中，不太會周圍探索，也不會吠叫；然而這乖孩子形象只維持了三天，意識到這裡並沒有危險後，開始活潑好動起來。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9u8l9Q2OiT
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgocnhbqmLb
如是這般，這調皮的孩子便慢慢融入家中，體型也日漸由微胖變成重量級的肥胖。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ00w9i3smdt
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZGFdHUjvSt
由於家裡也沒有私家車，這些年間我也只是帶牠到家樓下散步，而這些地方就已經是牠的世界。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Oo5FRyidm
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCdf1sbW3wx
如同牠的世界只有我一般，在我人生經歷挫折、仕途不順、與家人關係惡劣之際，牠也是我堅持活下去的唯一動力。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvYq5FYCg4r
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyrzsWwMgzq
當時剛畢業的我只有微薄的薪水，為了盡可能彌補牠，我在牠飲食上花費毫不吝嗇、玩具經常換、假日陪牠玩直至牠累了不想動......雖然這養成了牠挑三揀四的小姐脾氣。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSocYuHGVry
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNSjc1beUv3
既然我把牠的命買下，就有責任去照顧牠。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsiSy7obEIc
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2M0JpZvsTW
這是我應該做的，也是我必須做的。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAwUsqcCXrp
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmOfv8QiBvR
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpQoFmDEYKh
時光飛逝，轉眼間牠已經六歲半有多。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkldMnIgDD8
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnNoCg60QBf
某天牠的左眼瞼翻了一點點出來，因為牠也曾經有過這問題，當時給牠點了眼藥水就治好，因此以為這次也只是小毛病。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiBFUatH6TT
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQKZCzABIR
可幫牠點了一個星期眼藥水也絲毫沒好轉，由於體型龐大的牠已不能偷偷乘搭交通工具，我便預約獸醫登門給牠檢查。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqXw0ryrBeM
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLjxN3hQCnd
「牠可能眼睛受到感染了。」503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡloZg3aP8dB
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4otRWtaJkz
獸醫在檢查後得出這結論，並處方了眼藥水和抗生素。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBACZMLcTRY
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡljuAps4pSH
然而這些藥吃了幾天也不見任何作用，左邊鼻孔還開始流出淡黃色的鼻涕，因此我再次預約同一位獸醫登門診察。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqwu9zARYCz
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMxIGIGOVzM
「應該是感冒了。」503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoqhMI7g0hJ
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKKmpnnwRs7
這次除了抗生素，亦處方了消炎藥。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ5AAcFS3AX
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmfs2oaTgum
同樣地吃了幾天藥也沒有好轉，鼻涕偶爾還會滲雜著血絲，左邊臉上亦多了一粒杏仁大小的硬塊。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIE2tEPE2Rz
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKiwTaSSUpw
意識到登門的那位獸醫並不能治好牠，我便決定帶牠出門去診所應診。幸好當年已有叫車服務，就算沒有私家車，也能帶著寵物出門遠行。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2yXhrQEnqh
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5btf99bLzv
「可能是蛀牙引起牙齦發炎潰爛，口鼻相通之下令鼻涕有血絲，臉上的顆粒是膿包，要治好就要把牠的大牙拔掉。」503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADFaxpRMzB
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg0kgd2BrRC
雖然獸醫這麼說，但牠的牙齒分明健康又結實，加上牠也天天啃潔齒棒，實在難以想像牙齒有問題。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe0dH7WqO8V
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGHROteNrcd
鑑於想聽多一個獸醫的意見，我便預約了同一間診所另一位評價比較好的獸醫。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmlkhG5TDF3
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl4liXrOJKY
這位獸醫摸了摸那硬塊，眉頭一皺，往牠臉上噴了點麻醉劑，便拿針筒刺上去想抽點什麼，但什麼都沒能抽出來。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7dyjiab9H
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeBN3o1Ajzu
「如果是膿液的話，這顆粒會是軟的，而且也能用針筒抽出膿液，這肯定不是什麼好東西，但這家診所並沒有足夠的儀器，要轉介你去專科診所。」503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ZkdSqWq3x
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcWi1vIT1b
雖然有向他投訴診所另一位獸醫的誤診，但他不以為意，實在令人泄氣。可幸護士們都很親切，馬上聯繫了專科診所，被視為急診的情況下，翌日就可以去應診。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡovytt2od8J
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrcJqX9eXQb
專科診所幫牠把臉上硬塊的部分組織切下送往外國化驗，此時它已由杏仁長至雞蛋的大小。一個星期後，等不及診所聯絡，我已主動打電話查詢，心想能切除的話就早一天切除。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6KNlGKewgz
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqb0iL8tqc7
「牠患的是骨癌，而且長在臉上不能切除，沒有治好的可能。」503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcOaSmkF1DZ
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu7LcDmB98C
這宣告實在太突然也太震驚，即使當時人在公司，也忍不住哭出來。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6KXxEk7Bks
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvEzS0EUKiU
之後我搜尋了很多可以幫狗延緩癌症的資訊，也嘗試過偏方(早晚餵食加了亞麻籽與冷壓麻籽油的茅屋芝士)，但這偏方實在過於難吃，以致牠每次也會吐出來。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1zQovrpS3h
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTLxaX5pgLY
如果知道生命餘下的時間不多，我也不想只吃難吃的食物受苦，牠豈不是也如此嗎？503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrgdxXtJUdt
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoK7TKteAFs
因此我停止了這偏方，轉而餵食新鮮食材。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5asRKNYXzR
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmsR6u6xm0O
由於牠左邊的口腔已被腫瘤侵蝕潰爛，幾乎咀嚼不到食物，所以我每晚下班回家都會用攪拌器把煮好的新鮮食材攪成糊再餵給牠。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfUIEf0QIes
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNCrFe2Gpne
在這最後的一個月，每逢假日我便會帶牠出遠門玩，雖然深閨的牠顯得有點害怕陌生環境，但習慣了之後還是看得出牠是很高興的。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDUImFJyDiO
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNA4BLC6OmG
我真的好後悔沒有更早帶牠出遠門。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKnx8cSWr1O
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJrvIqqEsun
叫車服務其實早知道有，只是我一直把這計劃推遲，怎料牠原來已沒有多少時間能見識這個世界。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTTUKfQMrqI
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf0pp0QB0eu
發病起僅僅兩個月，腫瘤已如網球般大。或許侵蝕到腦部，有時牠會抽搐，左眼也被擠壓到變形，口腔的潰瘍也導致牠每天流很多血，輕易把一條浴巾染得血跡斑斑。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj4LRhjKgAT
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxF8DJwTH81
我知道牠很痛，同時也知道牠想活下去，動物從來都不會輕易放棄生存。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡykMvmdruiS
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnGZkW5AHRU
可這樣下去牠會死得很辛苦，掙扎了好久，我還是預約另一位獸醫登門，給牠安樂死。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKELTtfP4cC
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnq8n9HdMBc
那天是除夕，亦是牠7歲的生日。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnNAcHy1qt6
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmhV14EcYNH
一整天我都陪著牠，但顯然牠並不知曉接下來會發生的事。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO4lp92SAmM
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Kc6IT3gOJ
晚上8時，獸醫及他的助手到達，傻傻的牠還以為他們是客人，上前去討摸。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOIYAZlvkDq
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3RFLxD5Rc4
評估過牠的現況及看過化驗報告後，獸醫同意給牠安樂死，也指出牠的腫瘤已經非常大，即使處方高劑量類固醇也活不了多久。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTmZ1WVcbdx
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdrpzeORK6r
無論做了多少心理準備、腦海模擬過多少遍，分別一旦來臨，眼淚還是決堤而出。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT78b7BZlNK
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡizKbV1ocVI
這是最後一次機會去做選擇，而我，最終亦選擇替牠安樂死。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIY3a5PfPSa
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQAG1p2Cd2
獸醫先給牠注射了鎮靜劑，稍等幾分鐘至藥力生效，再給牠注射致死量的麻醉藥。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1HijJXqnRW
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOeGVDKaHpU
牠就這樣緩緩地趴下，仿似只是睡著，隨時會醒來的樣子。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡothf71m4sY
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxewhResgi9
經獸醫檢查，確認牠的心臟已經停止跳動。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvspTUEWden
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ljX5eaNGF
在牠7歲的這天，亦是我們離別之日；是我親自給予死亡，讓牠提前去了當狗天使。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoFTIkA7YpF
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGEboAroIS
直到現在我還會禁不住想，要是我當日快點找到合適的獸醫，是否就能趁腫瘤還細的時候切除？503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm015V3DXwX
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7yGDAbJMcf
要是我能早點帶牠出遠門，牠的生命是否就能變得更完滿？503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJXoho8rpww
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsj3TOOSwLf
事到如今，我對牠就只有無盡的愧疚和思念。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6s7pvp7e4
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZKb9WawaEL
時間的無情。
責任的承擔。
生命的價值。
生死的別離。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPPsGLr7YSg
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOaa6FLnUIb
這些都是牠以性命教曉我的。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmR4VAZhQ6
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBdRoInYZgE
即使牠已離去了差不多四年，我仍無法忘記與牠生活的日子。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxdfLMZvgCl
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQlHekkmTxY
牠帶給我煩惱，也帶給我歡樂。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡam38AQJ1w1
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfQPlwzzX25
能跟牠相遇，是我此生最大的奇蹟。
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