Laina sat on her leather couch staring at the wall in her pajamas. The clock had just hit two in the morning. The lamp was on lighting up the living room and her thoughts were in the clouds. She mindlessly chewed on her thumbnail. She had woken up again, for the second time in a row, in a sweaty fear.
She brought her legs to her chest and ran her fingers through her hair. It was a mess sticking out in every direction. She traced the lines in the red wallpaper with her eyes. Laina sat there in silence trying to scrape up what the dream was about. She couldn't remember a thing. The only thing that stuck after she woke up was fear.
Tomorrow she would get up and go get her meds refilled and she wouldn't have to worry about nightmares. She'd sleep straight through them. The empty bottle sat on the coffee table calling out to her. She stood up. She grabbed her phone and headphones and walked down the short hall and turned into the bathroom. Hot water shot out of the faucet seconds after she turned the knob. Steam filled the room as water filled the tub.
Laina poured in a few cups of pink bath salts into the water and stirred it with her hand. She got up and unbuttoned her pajamas and laid them in crumpled piles on the counter. She stepped into the deep tub and immediately her feet squeezed. The water was boiling. It turned her feet a dark pink as she slid down. The water came up over chest and she laid back against a folded towel.
The room smelled clean like roses and orange cleaner. The walls were old-fashioned wallpaper with tiny flowers and vertical stripes. On the wall was a framed painting of a glass doll and a vase of flowers. She had seen it yesterday and loved it. It fit so well with the colors of the bathroom. Laina turned off the water and closed her eyes. A light sweat mixed with the steam and turned her face red.
She put in her headphones and turned on her Spotify and sat it on the toilet lid. She closed her eyes again and sunk deeper into the water. It swallowed her shoulders. The music thrummed up in her ears and she felt like melting away.
Her shoulders drooped, and the mirror fogged over leaving the bathroom steamy and quiet. The world went dark, and she was asleep. If her head slid down even half a foot, she would drown. Her arms were wrapped around her stomach deep in the water.
"Why are you back here?" She called out pushing the darkness out of her way. A wave of cold ran over her and she wiped her face pulling it away. She shouted out again, but her mouth just opened silently. Her heart squeezed, and she felt the cold wrap around her like pools of syrup.
She pulled her arms one by one trying to get out of it, but it just kept grabbing her again and again. It wraps around her throat and chokes her. She claws at her throat and the thick darkness pulses with laughter.
Laina's body slips down from her squirming and her head goes under. The headphones get yanked out and drop to the floor. Her hair floats up, and she screams, air bubbles erupt from her mouth. Her eyes flash open and she sees hands above the water. She claws her way up from the water and throws up the water coughing. Her hair clings to her face and water splashes onto the floor. Desperately she coughs and looks around the room for the hands she had seen. Her lungs and nose burn and her eyes water. She lays over the edge of the tub and can't hear her own choking over the sound of her heart.
She kicks the tub's drain open and shoves her hair back. Laina curls up in the empty tub and cries. She screams into her hands and breathes. The room turns cold and leaves her shivering. Tears fall from her cheeks onto her legs.
She grabs the edge of the tub and pulls herself up and wipes the tears from her face. The rug squished wetly between her toes and she wraps her robe around her and ties it tightly around her waist. The sky outside was still black. Laina walked over to the front door and dug a crushed pack of menthols from her jacket pocket and lighter. She had had the pack for the best part of seven months. The majority would land in the trash squashed and torn.
She shoved the backdoors open and turned on the kitchen lights and sat down right there in the doorway. She brought the cigarette to her lips and sparked the lighter to life. She held it up to the tip shaking and sucked in a lungful of freezing smoke. It swirled inside her and she blew it straight up into the air.
The block of light reached all the way to the back fence. Her shadow stared back at her unhappy. She glanced down at the bent cigarette and took another drag. In the other hand, she sparked the lighter. Flame.Off.Flame. Off. She wanted to hold it down and burn the robe with her in it.
"Isn't it a little early for that?"
Laina jumped and looked up at Weston across the yard looking over the fence. His hair was a mess and sleep was all over his face. The bags under his eyes were prominent and inflamed like he had rubbed them too hard.
"Early enough to almost die in a bath." She said back blowing the smoke out in a cloud of distaste. He stopped smiling and stared. He looked like a TV that just lost signal. He tilted his head and stayed silent. Laina's heart thrummed hard again, and she took a shaky breath. The dark and silence made his small stoic face look eerie and doll-like.
"Are you okay?" He spoke up, releasing her from the fingers of fear she had started feeling. It was strange how truly dark the night felt when his glow went away. There was no warmth in his expression.
"I'm alive." The cigarette burned orange and let off a string of smoke that drifted up into the air.
Weston rubbed his face and tilted his head to the side again staring blankly in her direction. He folded his arms on the top of the fence and snapped back to life with open unblinking eyes.
"Do you need me to come over?" He asked. The wind picked up out of nowhere and the house popped and cracked behind her. The doors groaned. She shook her head and got up walking towards him. With every step closer, the warmth came back to his face. He blinked. By the time she made it over to him, he was smiling and laid his face on his arms.
"What would your wife think about that?" She asked squishing the cigarette out on the wood. She dropped it in her robe pocket.
He breathed in deep and raised his brows in a face of exhaustion. He ran both hands back into his hair and laid his forehead against the fence. He tossed one arm back down on the fence and looked up at her with puppy eyes. Big round green eyes begging her to take back the mention of Gina.
"Oh. I should've asked why you were out here this late." She said crossing her arms.
"Never get married." He groaned into his arms.
"God, that bad, huh?"
He closed his eyes and nodded. Weston had been crying. He was wrapped up in a striped cardigan that had been cried into. The sleeves on one arm were dark and damp. He sighed and looked into Laina's eyes.
"I tried sleeping on the couch, but I can't sleep alone anymore." His voice dragged, heavy and sad.
"Well, I fell asleep in the tub and almost drowned myself. If I don't manage to get some sleep this week, I'll hang myself from that tree." She joked. There was a piece of her that felt like crawling up there right then and there. They stared at each other.
Laina stepped up to the fence and hooked her hands over the top and laid her head against them. There was another gust of wind and a caw. A crow streaked across the blueing sky and landed on top of his shed. It cawed again before flying away. Weston looked at where it had been and kicked the fence lifelessly. It barely thudded.
"I'm coming over." He stepped down off the fence and walked off.
"I'll unlock the door."
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