38. Crimson Eagle Training Camp (9)
<Max Azela/Quintonella POV>
When I remembered that day… the day we met the first time… I felt like I used my whole lifetime luck on that day.
We started as a roommate
While I'm the lowest on the Big Group of fifty trainees, you're the best
While I'm the nutrition less ugly boy, you're the most handsome boy
Even with all that differences, you still approached me, you the one who takes the first step, to become friend with me
You asked something like you wanted something from me, but I'm sure it's an excuse so that I don't feel inferior to you. But still our friendship started that day
From that day I learnt more and more about you, and you also learnt more and more about me, I learnt that you are much more mature than others, I knew the children on this facility is the best from their peers, at least on their orphanage, I know because I'm the same, even with that you are still exceeded them all, I knew too sometime you can become more childish than your peers, but still I knew I felt it that I can depend on you when the time comes.
You are always humble even with that ability maybe It's only my imagination but at least that's what I see, the others started to admire you while only you yourself who's oblivious about that, from that I learnt not to be arrogant
while it may be like feels like I'm a LGBT, this is what I truly felt from the bottom of my heart
I learnt a lot of things from you too, my purpose coming here, while it's also helps my orphanage to get more support, my priority is to help my sister to get what she wanted, she says she wants to go to school, that's my objectives
And you told me, not too narrow my view to my objective alone, you taught me not to sacrifice myself, you taught me who's obsessed with my objective my sister feeling. From that I learnt not to be selfish, to always feel the others feeling
You even pushed my back when I'm afraid to take the first step, you accompanied me to take that step, from that I learnt what a friendship is…
You act like you bored and don't want to be a leader, like a villain a bully who's pushing all the work to me. But I know you're helping me assisting me with my life while at the same time you help me to grow, to lead, you pointed me all the thing I needs, you gave me advice when I don't know the next step. from that I learnt how to be a leader
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Then I learnt more about you, that you are not perfect too, that you too have many flaws but only trying your best to hide it from others, I felt disgusted at myself who's always seeing you with a filtered glass, that I always pushing my ideals to you but still even with that, in the end you still take the burden from us all, you make yourself a vessel big enough for us to depend on you, from that I learnt the burden the responsibility that came with power
That's why I believe on you, even when the stake is one hundred percent unfavorable to you, even when I know I'm pushing my ideals to you, I still depended on you, as a friend I stand behind you believing on you
On that Exam, when you made yourself as a bait as a diversion for us all to get away to escape from that place, my slow decision made it harder for you, but you still did not abandon us, you still stood hard alone in front of us
After I escaped from that place, I saw a few places where the others made their base devastated by the stampede, the stampede’s aftermath...
What if we you did not warn us? What if you weren't there?
The same kind of question spiraled on my head, in the end I used 'believe' word to depend on you
….
Then I realized that I was wrong…
That time when I saw you at that battered state crumbled my world what I know about you
it was about an hour after we escaped with your help, when we met you after diverting that thing
you were walking dragging your body with a stick, blood dripping from your hands, there's also some blood traced on your clothes too, your eyes tried to focus themselves at every step but failed at every step
in that broken state your eyes finally met with us, your body quickly loses its energy and about to fall down, we quickly tried to help you too, but you break your fall on you own, not just me the others too must be gasped by you
Later when we snapped out from it, we quickly helped you, and the first thing you asked us was about the Exam, if you fallen down over there we, our team would be failed the Exam.
When we made our way to the designated place to finish the Exam, there's one sentenced you muttered again and again till we reach the place
"it's okay… I'm awake… "
"it's okay… I'm awake… "
"it's okay… I'm awake… "
"it's okay… I'm awake… "
even on that kind of state you still tried to reassure us you still tried to become a vessel for us all, from that I learnt your unshakeable will
At the same time that was what made me realize, I'm not good enough to make you depend on me, or more like because of that you can't depend on me and this the result of mine weakness
As a friend I shouldn't stand behind you and believe you, I should have stand beside you paving the way together with you
While I knew it must be my imagination, some part of me still believe this too another thing you wanted me to learn, you changed me before It became permanent.
I realized my mistake
I'm glad it's not too late
Even if I'm unworthy I will still try to be beside you.
And at the same time as my last selfishness, I left you a message my last massage to depend on you about my most precious thing in this world.
The message is:
……
……
……
Meeting you was the best luck on my whole life
Thank you my best friend, Lex Spifer
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