Ch. 4
AMBER
His touch is like ice. I never thought I'd want to be embraced by someone who felt like they'd just stepped out of a freezer. Yet, when he reaches his other hand out to softly graze the other side of my face, I don't object. Then, I can't stop myself from leaning forward, so our foreheads are touching. I kinda just want to touch him, but my hands are shaking in my lap. I'm still half convinced I'm dreaming.
We're sitting cross-legged on the ground, facing each other. If we hadn't been in what looked like an abandoned department store, someone for sure would've walked in already and had some major questions. His hands are on my cheeks, and our foreheads are pressed together, and it feels like the first breath of air I've taken in months.
At some point I close my eyes, but I know he's still staring at me. He'd told me that I was his first chosen, and that he'd never actually been down to Earth before. And, if I had to take a guess, I think I confuse him. That's the only word I can think of to describe the look on his face. Or maybe fascination is a better word.
His thumbs move slowly back and forth across my cheeks, and I pull my forehead back. It feels like electricity is sparking everywhere he touches. His hair is a mass of wavy black curls, and I have to resist the urge to slide my hands through them and push the curls off his forehead. He tilts his head to the side, his lips slightly parted. If I move forward just an inch, we could kiss. That's how close he is. The thought has my body heating up even more.
I'm weaker than I thought, I realize. I'd like to say it was just his attractive features being in such close proximity that was making my brain short circuit, but I knew it was more than that. Is it normal to feel so calm around someone you'd just met 30 minutes ago? I feel like I've known him my whole life. Which, in a sense, I guess I have.
And so, I don't really think anything of it when I stare back and give him a half smile.
He blinks twice.
I feel like I'm on autopilot now. I press my finger to his mouth, slowly pulling his bottom lip down. "You know," I say, my voice low, "Quick human tip? You'd look a hundred times less threatening if you smiled every now and then."
His eyes slide down to look at my finger on his mouth. I slowly let my finger drop, and his bottom lip pops back into position. When he finally speaks, his voice is rough. "I do not...understand."
I grin again and place my hands over his on my face. "Smiling," I repeat, leaning back to get a better look at him and tapping his knuckles with my fingers. "What else didn't they teach you in angel school? It seems all you can do is frown."
He frowns then, right on cue, and I laugh.
And in that exact moment, my phone rings.
I'm instantly pulled back to reality. I jerk my head out of Machidiel's hands, instantly missing the coolness of his touch. He stares at me as I pull my phone out and said, "Hello?"
"Hey, where are you?" My eyes widen at the sound of Pey's voice. I completely forgot to even look at the caller ID. "Mor and V wanted to go shopping tonight before the party on Friday. But if you're not up for it, we don't have to do it tonight. We've got a few days, anyways."
"Oh my God, the party!" It's difficult to concentrate on what she's saying with an angel two inches from my face. I thought he'd back up when I pulled back from his hands, but he's acting like he's rooted to the ground. Plus, his stare is starting to make me nervous. "I totally forgot."
"We don't have to go. I'm sure they'll be down for a movie night instead."
"No, absolutely not. I'll meet you in 10."
"Alright, if you're sure."
I drop my phone and let out a breath. He's staring at me like how babies do, and I wouldn't be so nervous if he wasn't two centimeters from my face.
I thrust my palm into Machidiel's face and push him backwards. "Dude," I hiss, heat rising in my face, "You should see your face right now. You're staring at me like you want to eat me for dinner."
He stands then and takes a step back. His face scrunches up at my comment. "I do not wish to eat you. I am incapable of eating."
"Right." I wave my hand in the air. "Hey, I...I need to get back. Like, to school."
"Yes, I heard." He taps his ears. "You humans talk unbelievably loud." He pauses for a second. "What if I came with you?"
"What?"
"Guardians occasionally come down to Earth and follow their chosens," he says, like I didn't say a word. "They are usually invisible to you humans, but I will make sure you can see me. If I could see what was going on, maybe even do a few trials-"
Trials? "Hold on, hold on," I say, standing up and making a time-out sign with my hands. "Look, I'm sorry to tell you this, but I've sworn off love for the rest of my life."
Oh, he definitely heard me that time. His eyes instantly narrow. "You cannot do that."
"You don't know how crazy you sound, do you?" I sigh. "Honest, I've come to terms with being single for the rest of my life, so don't worry. I appreciate the concern, though. I know that's probably not what you were going for, but I'm sure you can just find another chosen, right? So, it's a win win." I think for a second, then sigh. "And I don't, you know, blame you for anything."
His eyes flash. In an instant, he's standing in front of me again, gripping my right arm in his hand. "I cannot allow you to do that," he growls.
The instant threatening tone has my body completely freezing up. I can't even scream in response. We only stare at each other in silence for what feels like an eternity. I search those blue-gold eyes for a sign of the angel I'd seen just a few seconds ago. He'd been so careful, touching my face and hair so lightly. Like he was afraid I'd disappear if he was too rough. But now, he seems overcome with anger. Flashbacks of a similar situation threatened to drown me, and I push them down, down, down. I refuse to submit to the past. I'd never let something like that happen to me again.
"Hey." I say the word with so much force, I felt like I was casting a magic spell. Pushing my face forward into his, I hiss, "Let go of me."
Machidiel stares back at me with hard eyes, but I don't buckle. The head and a half height difference between us is definitely making my words less and less threatening, but after a moment, he releases my arm. Instantly, I take three steps back.
His jaw clenches. "I did not mean to-"
"It's fine," I mumble, crossing my arms. I swallow, trying to calm my pounding heart. Whatever I'd been feeling before is completely diminished now. I feel like an idiot. He's a fucking angel after all. What had I even expected? "Whatever, it's fine."
Now he's staring down at his own hands. Then, his eyes dart to my wrist, clutched against my chest. "Did that...hurt you?"
I hug myself tighter. I guess I hadn't hidden it good enough. "Yeah, actually, it hurt a lot."
He stares at me. "I-"
"Whatever, don't worry about it," I say quickly. Subject change, please. "But you know, if you're serious about wanting to come to this party, you can't wear that. You look awful." I point at his clothes and make a face.
He looks down at himself. "What is wrong with this? I thought I looked very human."
"Is that right?" I eye his lime green shirt, baggy khakis, and brown loafers. "I think it's time to teach my guardian angel a thing or two about humans. Starting with your clothes."
"Alright." He reaches out, and against my will, I flinch. He doesn't seem to notice, taking my arm and pulling me close to him. I feel a rush of warm air, and instinctively I wrap my arms around him as I prepare for the jump. The wind picks up, swirling around us wildly, and suddenly we're in the back of a department store.
I let out a gasp. "We just-" I gape at him, but he's not paying attention to me. He's already let go of me and is now looking around the store. "So, you're an actual angel?!"
"Was that not clear before?" He steps away from me and begins going through the rack of clothing in front of us.
"I mean, it was, with the wings and the eyes and all," I mutter. "But still. I feel like I'm dreaming."
Machidiel turns to face me, and I'm again struck by his features. "I am real, as is this," he says, holding my gaze. He glances down at my wrist again. "As is...the pain I inflicted on you. For that, I am sorry."
A lump forms in my throat. "Right."
I tear myself away from his gaze before I can say something I know I'll regret. Peering around the store, I'm relieved to find it mostly empty. The only three people are up by the front, so hopefully they didn't see us appear so suddenly. With a start, I realize Peyton is one of the customers near the front. How he'd known she was here is beyond me.
Like she sensed me, Pey turns in my direction. "Hey, Amber!"
I blink. "Can she not-"
"See me?" Machidiel completely has his back to me now, rifling through the clothes. It's almost cute how interested in them he seems. "Not right now, no. Neither can the other two."
I turn back to the front of the store and instantly recognize the other two shoppers as my other two friends, Morgan and Veronica. "I-I thought you said you'd let them see you."
"Amber?" Pey calls.
"Go with them," he says, and I jump. He's standing next to me now. I look at him, then over at Pey, who's turned back to the cashier. She couldn't see him...oh wow.
Nodding slowing, I walk towards Pey. "You got here quick," she notes as I approach. The bright orange halter top she's wearing stands out wildly against her pale skin, and she's got her short black hair pulled back in a low ponytail.
I open my mouth to give some shitty response, but luckily Veronica appears behind Pey. She's holding two shopping bags full of clothes in each hand, and she's grinning wildly.
"Amber!" she exclaims. "Look, look! I got this super cute top from Lucy's!" She places her bags on the ground and rifles through one of them until she pulls out a yellow tube top. She wiggles it in my face. "Isn't it so cute? And it was on sale, so I got it in blue too!"
I laugh. "It's crazy cute, V. You'll look great in it."
She beams. V has sparkling green eyes, full pink lips, and long blonde hair braided over one shoulder today. Even in the heeled ankle boots she's wearing, she still only comes up to my shoulder. Sometimes I wonder what it's like being that short.
Then I instantly remember standing next to Mac.
I turn to face my third friend, Morgan, as she turns away from the cashier. Mor is darker than me, with brown eyes and coily black hair that stops around her shoulders and bounces when she walked. She shoves her wallet back into her purse and says, "We good? There's one more store I want to hit."
We nod and turn to leave the store. I glance behind me, but Machidiel is gone. Sucking in a breath, I turn and follow my friends.
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I'm standing in the dressing room, completely stuck between two different tops. I decided on a high waisted purple and blue patterned skirt, but I'm not sure which top I want. In one hand, I'm holding a black crochet bralette with tassels hanging down. In the other, a white skintight halter top with a crossed strap in the front. I hold the black top up to me and stare in the mirror, then switch and bring up the white. Maybe I can buy both and switch halfway through the party.
"Hello, Amber."
Both tops fall to the ground as Machidiel appears in front of me. I stumble back, banging against the wall. "Oh my God! Dude, if I pee in this skirt, I can't wear it!" I snap. "What are you even doing in here?"
"You said you were going to get me new clothing."
I stare at him in disbelief. "I know what I said. I meant, what are you doing in this dressing room?"
"Well, you were thinking really loud, so I-"
"You can hear my thoughts?" Why does he always have such a blank expression on his face whenever he says crazy shit like that?
"Well....it's not that simple," he says. "The bond is a bridge between us that allows me to watch over you and feel you. It is how I have watched you from Heaven. The typical Guardian floods the bond with their own powers, enhancing it, controlling it. That is how they help guide their chosen to find the right person. But our bond reacts...negatively to my powers, for reasons I am still trying to understand. For me, the bond is difficult. Sometimes I hear you, sometimes I do not. I have never been too good at using it. But, just now..." He pauses for a moment. "Just now...that was the clearest I have ever heard you."
My heart jumps, but my mind is racing from what he's just said. "So...you can hear what I'm thinking sometimes. That's interesting. Does that mean I can hear you, and maybe even respond to you? Could we talk mind to mind?"
"I do not know," he says, but he looks like he's seriously considering it. "You can try. No angel has ever talked face to face with their chosen before, so the chosen is never aware of the bond. It has never been used as a form of two-way communication."
"Well, there's a first time for everything, right?" I reach deep into myself, as far back into my mind as I dare. Past some ugly memories I don't want to dig up. I buried them deep down. But for this, I need to dig farther. If I concentrate hard, I can see this...thread. It's long. It stretches far, too far for me to see the end, reaching out into an endless sea of white. It seems like it stretches past my mind and out of my body. But I can feel him on the other side. I know he's there. I reach for that thread, that bridge connecting us together. It pulses and glows as I wrap myself around it, tighten my being around it. Now that it's here, so clearly here, I wonder how I never felt him before. It's strange, having him in my head. Knowing that he's actually always been around. And yet, at the same time...I find a sort of comfort in that thought.
Squeezing my eyes shut tighter, I push a single thought along that thread: Can you hear me?
I'm met with silence.
Then, his voice rings clearly in my head: I hear you.
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TO BE CONTINUED...
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A way to communicate and no one else can hear? This could lead to some pretty hot conversations in the future...
-Zuffy <3
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