我經常做光怪陸離的夢。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡor0Yy4jFeS
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr4IChQvABi
例如上一秒我可能在一大片人群以及鎂光燈下演講和嗚咽、下一秒在地鐵站中被絕種多年的肉食恐龍襲擊然後狂奔。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQjGIpw7Zjd
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfprQ9jT1dJ
或者本來身處羅浮宮裡遇見Taylor Swift和她的新男友兼且歌詞藍本，一眨眼後就遠在東京的Jazz酒吧和村上春樹對賭大話骰。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjI9bypxYdz
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPwzcSxUfe
當然大學二年級的我還是會做很青春期分泌主導的夢，比如與前女友或者性感的女同學在布吉的別墅瘋狂做愛。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiuVuosFeuX
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqIL16KP8bV
現實中莫講是別墅並不存在，布吉在疫症蔓延時根本遙不可及。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5rbOhG9FJH
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdNInLdTDRq
這些夢雖然有趣，但可能因為太不真實，要區分夢境和現實並沒有太難。倒是昨天晚上，我造了一個匪夷所思但真實感極強的夢。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjcnCoSNRqu
在夢中我遇見了一隻黑色的貓，牠比176的我還要高一點，拿著木造的權仗，戴黃金的頸圈，像人一樣站着。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbszUe1aB5b
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbMc6bYpGtb
強要比喻的話，我會說牠跟古埃及文明的貓神長得有幾分像。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbzmlEhV3pL
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTAAJZ2VoO7
「人類，你有想要實現的願望嗎？」貓神用低沉的聲線說，牠大概是一個男性。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡygSQDcvUiQ
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWX9ba4ugrA
「我啊？」我望望四周，不見有其他人類，指着自己問。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9eeoXYmAGS
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBjjbdcadT3
「對。」貓神用更低沉的聲線說。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ075qWREUFE
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwtZEAdYYYB
「啊…咁益我？」我有點迷惘以及搞不清狀況。平常這個時候我大概會意識到自己在發夢，但這次我居然有點覺得這個貓神是實實在在的出現在我面前。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48FfA2BGN0
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxTAJAA2tZt
對了！330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ZaaG3Liqp
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzfiuYKMR6z
大概是因為氣味。正常的夢都是沒有氣味的，但這個夢有一股強烈的味道…到底是甚麼味道？有點像小時候去西九龍中心明將壽司內會聞到的味道，腥臭卻異常吸引。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOeRYk8dQzG
「怎麼了，阿日，沒有想實現的願望嗎？」貓神問，聲音變得更更低沉了。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvDhtNyZyfq
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3RWqAzAuD
阿日是我的名字。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYz9GFAw1sW
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ40YRvRyxzu
「願望唔係無…但你係咪一定要用書面語講野？」我抓抓頭問，再一次懷疑到底這是夢境還是現實。如果是現實的話，整個設定未免太中二病了吧？還有為什麼牠會知道我的名字？330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZt0bx6Bo4n
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zk8soSUrp
「所以我用口語說話就是你的最大願望嗎？」貓神用百萬富翁裡陳啓泰「最後答案？」似的語氣反問我。我並沒有看過陳啓泰的百萬富翁，但「我讀drama㗎」陳芷青經典之作卻在成長過程看過上千次。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfrXvxmbo66
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEm2pnqR9Wh
「不是！不是！」我連忙答。怎麼我也變成了用書面語說話的怪人？330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCSkiPH5V3w
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRYMQKKIOhh
「我既願望…嗯…」世界和平實在太虛偽，變成全世界最有錢這種事實在太沒挑戰性。心想事成這種願望太空泛。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHrI1Ii40NR
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcs1kvUyrP2
神貓降生在我面前，我得想一個對世界有意義的願望，不然就實在是太窩囊了。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQTnfpEzcR
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCqhY6keYn
快要到聖誕節…這個節日實在太可惡。好！我決定好了！330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡczkZdnDtG2
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMUHI75QcOo
「我聖誕節想同女神一齊過！一齊返屋企！」330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMm8xcwyQRy
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkHlts7Ek3
「很好，我可以幫你實現願望。請問你的女神是誰？」330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIFdwkuKx5P
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPdGFHNTH58
「住我屋企隔離既敏青。」330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAWiMkkI7Q
敏青是我高中的暗戀對象。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfaLgBCodUq
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4st3c2bmjC
女神成績很好，公開試前一直替我補習，可惜還沒有告訴她我的心意，我們便進入了不同的大學。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJnuJuVhZc7
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPPEVVdurwQ
當然我沒有辜負她的努力幫忙，我和敏青分別進了兩大，她是中文大學的學生，我則進了香港大學持續進修學院。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPVnt2T3x7W
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡruQEQ1YuGY
因為是鄰居的關係，事實上我自小便認識她。我們住在元朗的小區，中學就在可步行的距離。高中前的敏青外表還是一個很普通的女生，但中四拔掉眼鏡，留黑長髮的她，加上溫柔樂天的性格，開始成為學校男生瘋狂追捧的對象。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvR6zrEvYFO
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbfKFgPfDs
我也在差不多的時候為她著迷，甚至有點後悔沒有及早追求她。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhqCOQBGhNv
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkcY5BobIDf
以我所知，中學時期因為學業和家規，她基本上都拒絕了這些狂蜂浪蝶的追求，亦乖乖的在十時前回家，十二時前睡覺。但進了大學後，喜歡她的人就更多了，聽說有追求者成功了，女神也已經變成別人的女朋友。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmSVSxw1o6M
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIcDVvJBIw
「很好，你的願望就是『聖誕節與敏青一起過，然後一同回家。』，對吧？」330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAolMi2bvlR
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4scueY2zj
貓神刻意低沉的聲音有點像老虎低吟，把我拉回現實（或者夢境）。我想起自己小時候還沒有長喉核時，為了不讓別人覺得我是女生，花了很多時間學習聲線壓低的方法。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVY1WdZYLH2
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqgIUZIfV41
「等等！」我叫。「如果只係聖誕咁未得一日？」330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaUeLunqVIQ
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6CELUSOp1y
「是的。」330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOp9dkSJ7HR
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡov6BamhFH9
「咁除夕倒數呢咁？」330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPn9VEm5w31
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡakvZIkHjKU
「你的願望不能確保。」330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVlrrSTV4i8
「咁唔得，咁我改一下…我想願望係『聖誕與敏青一同回家，然後每日與敏青一起過。』」我說。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNzZGqdof1Q
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLCOjnLUNLo
「很好，讓我改一下咒語。『聖誕與…』」330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKdIIvU8lz
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdDIhP42UH1
「等等等，如果我個願望咁樣咪即係好似迫女神鍾意我同埋同我一齊咁樣？我唔想強迫佢嘅意願…」330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDUglXERaD1
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm3SsFr3qCO
「的確是強迫啊。」貓神說，這次沒有那麼低沉。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIUOlrruNT0
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfaU1oOdELn
「咁我改一下我個願望。我個願望係想女神都鍾意我，咁樣咪唔係強迫囉！」我沾沾自喜。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSGljKv8Oq2
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXVkdyTGFum
「好。最後答案？」330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR4Ie3r2egG
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDAFCRDPHXu
「無錯…」我有點猶豫。「啊！等陣！」330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoM4fDlJ4NV
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq08x7ozO5m
「又點呀！！！」貓神暴怒地呼叫，聲調卻變得高起來，看來牠也像青春期的我一樣在刻意壓低聲線。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2XiAOBjyD8
「原來你識講口語…」330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUaCnu69z2H
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr32jTshDxw
「改夠未呀煩膠？」貓神大力用權杖撞落地上，我感覺到地面澎澎作響。我有點出奇貓神也懂得「煩膠」這個用語，貓界也有兩登嗎？330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbI0TIYezEQ
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡheUc1UTcpB
「今次真係最後…」我說，「如果你個咒語搞到我變咗女仔，咁我去咗女神屋企咪英雄無用武之地，所以我繼續要係男仔，而且每晚都要同女神一齊瞓！」330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJClZK5nPTr
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ46A8EwmL1K
「『煩膠阿日由聖誕開始將會與女神敏青同居、同睡。其間敏青將會視阿日為最愛，而阿日將保持雄性身份。』，此乃第一個願望，未許之願還剩兩個。貓貓貓貓貓貓貓貓貓貓…」貓神再次壓低聲線，用力念着咒語。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpxJuvLpGee
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcZcIv10xF
「貓貓貓貓貓貓？」330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgsUrELedE
「雄性？點解係用雄性呢個字唔係用男仔？」330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡst60p2b4UX
「原來仲有兩個願望？」330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbnffzwF98Q
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡldeKmWszgk
很多問題浮在我的腦海，我嘗試大聲叫出來，卻有如黑洞一樣的力量在拉扯着我的身體以及腦袋，然後把我的聲線完全給進無底深潭內。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJyPk6tjPOe
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMTT47MuP1v
四肢好像沒有辦法發力一樣，心臟停止跳動，身體各個器官都出現前所未見的劇痛，感覺就像貓神走進了我的身體內，然後用權仗把我的世界劃破再重新裝坎。就像遇見了死神一樣，卻又突然被賦予重生的感覺。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡglrQNY5A7k
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjIoiNXlS9
如果還有兩個願望的話，我寧願不許，也絕對不想再經歷兩次這種痛楚…330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEP73dKOJ76
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7GHQQpaifU
我在睡夢中醒來。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3x4wv6vCSX
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3Z1To8oKs
我突然想起，那股在剛才那個夢境以及名將壽司中出現過的香味是什麼。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGDguVgI6ot
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw9fxtDuMsi
是過期罐頭裏的吞拿魚。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQsOV7Rfjsl
