我經常做光怪陸離的夢。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBq8ULTTDVw
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDCBsRVkW14
例如上一秒我可能在一大片人群以及鎂光燈下演講和嗚咽、下一秒在地鐵站中被絕種多年的肉食恐龍襲擊然後狂奔。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcsD5mBaK95
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4R4iCBdYGy
或者本來身處羅浮宮裡遇見Taylor Swift和她的新男友兼且歌詞藍本，一眨眼後就遠在東京的Jazz酒吧和村上春樹對賭大話骰。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJfkQ9YWla
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRYUhc7rbGL
當然大學二年級的我還是會做很青春期分泌主導的夢，比如與前女友或者性感的女同學在布吉的別墅瘋狂做愛。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoPwO6oaSxR
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWwuiYRULkA
現實中莫講是別墅並不存在，布吉在疫症蔓延時根本遙不可及。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeK70KrMtSN
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2I4uHmd0IE
這些夢雖然有趣，但可能因為太不真實，要區分夢境和現實並沒有太難。倒是昨天晚上，我造了一個匪夷所思但真實感極強的夢。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL5zJzwpP4U
在夢中我遇見了一隻黑色的貓，牠比176的我還要高一點，拿著木造的權仗，戴黃金的頸圈，像人一樣站着。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRS6mIWjHMZ
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6u3LaS8szE
強要比喻的話，我會說牠跟古埃及文明的貓神長得有幾分像。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHOYBzWGDZG
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzLcbk52B9D
「人類，你有想要實現的願望嗎？」貓神用低沉的聲線說，牠大概是一個男性。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡekwgcaNZLr
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlMGwPkVgd2
「我啊？」我望望四周，不見有其他人類，指着自己問。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ9j8jgKxGz
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZfzlrlyYr
「對。」貓神用更低沉的聲線說。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCSMEUeJaH
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOPnY0jx7f1
「啊…咁益我？」我有點迷惘以及搞不清狀況。平常這個時候我大概會意識到自己在發夢，但這次我居然有點覺得這個貓神是實實在在的出現在我面前。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMvFmTG4n8
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgbrzcZMi1p
對了！324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡik9a4iUAmy
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI7IiwFWKlf
大概是因為氣味。正常的夢都是沒有氣味的，但這個夢有一股強烈的味道…到底是甚麼味道？有點像小時候去西九龍中心明將壽司內會聞到的味道，腥臭卻異常吸引。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4o8XrqFTND
「怎麼了，阿日，沒有想實現的願望嗎？」貓神問，聲音變得更更低沉了。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHL2v4nXoVK
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm4r3WjMh7T
阿日是我的名字。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBFpYSFKog8
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWeQQK4SuJL
「願望唔係無…但你係咪一定要用書面語講野？」我抓抓頭問，再一次懷疑到底這是夢境還是現實。如果是現實的話，整個設定未免太中二病了吧？還有為什麼牠會知道我的名字？324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAo87kRr6ri
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYSJ5qsAgoY
「所以我用口語說話就是你的最大願望嗎？」貓神用百萬富翁裡陳啓泰「最後答案？」似的語氣反問我。我並沒有看過陳啓泰的百萬富翁，但「我讀drama㗎」陳芷青經典之作卻在成長過程看過上千次。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZnJDjNwNP
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqpqDB07uam
「不是！不是！」我連忙答。怎麼我也變成了用書面語說話的怪人？324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa4p0ss2aYp
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEKOQhu0rYV
「我既願望…嗯…」世界和平實在太虛偽，變成全世界最有錢這種事實在太沒挑戰性。心想事成這種願望太空泛。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbckymHosjB
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTqBU5bziL2
神貓降生在我面前，我得想一個對世界有意義的願望，不然就實在是太窩囊了。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYFXCXwAOil
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3HfuTJrU9R
快要到聖誕節…這個節日實在太可惡。好！我決定好了！324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWBBU8vLIvC
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkgBWGqXXFE
「我聖誕節想同女神一齊過！一齊返屋企！」324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRYrR8oij0z
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA7tT4fpD7O
「很好，我可以幫你實現願望。請問你的女神是誰？」324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡevSpNSqsq1
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwpLBzo5t0W
「住我屋企隔離既敏青。」324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡohdaOKVu81
敏青是我高中的暗戀對象。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9SCftEclcx
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJf2FU0crtv
女神成績很好，公開試前一直替我補習，可惜還沒有告訴她我的心意，我們便進入了不同的大學。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡihWl0KnUs3
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPpmWfKBsn
當然我沒有辜負她的努力幫忙，我和敏青分別進了兩大，她是中文大學的學生，我則進了香港大學持續進修學院。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwycqixAkCT
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMPd4035xiV
因為是鄰居的關係，事實上我自小便認識她。我們住在元朗的小區，中學就在可步行的距離。高中前的敏青外表還是一個很普通的女生，但中四拔掉眼鏡，留黑長髮的她，加上溫柔樂天的性格，開始成為學校男生瘋狂追捧的對象。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5cgwyJDyyw
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3d7cSKaLbG
我也在差不多的時候為她著迷，甚至有點後悔沒有及早追求她。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6tKiYdauZ7
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs2V1sUqTrg
以我所知，中學時期因為學業和家規，她基本上都拒絕了這些狂蜂浪蝶的追求，亦乖乖的在十時前回家，十二時前睡覺。但進了大學後，喜歡她的人就更多了，聽說有追求者成功了，女神也已經變成別人的女朋友。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrbz05Pf4ZR
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBpMlQCPS8a
「很好，你的願望就是『聖誕節與敏青一起過，然後一同回家。』，對吧？」324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmySJSR4oya
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqXxPtHt4pa
貓神刻意低沉的聲音有點像老虎低吟，把我拉回現實（或者夢境）。我想起自己小時候還沒有長喉核時，為了不讓別人覺得我是女生，花了很多時間學習聲線壓低的方法。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy7sqsGmhFu
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkju9P2XwIB
「等等！」我叫。「如果只係聖誕咁未得一日？」324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJqkNiQPreL
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz0U1jFl2L2
「是的。」324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaOkI9MZTFW
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4BKG5DkJj8
「咁除夕倒數呢咁？」324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs3WaeVsQBG
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLTTNXQoxo2
「你的願望不能確保。」324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn6eOScqUv5
「咁唔得，咁我改一下…我想願望係『聖誕與敏青一同回家，然後每日與敏青一起過。』」我說。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvmq2R40gOC
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLUoGZxVIf5
「很好，讓我改一下咒語。『聖誕與…』」324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaLmMo2SGfZ
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXz7F5dHlGw
「等等等，如果我個願望咁樣咪即係好似迫女神鍾意我同埋同我一齊咁樣？我唔想強迫佢嘅意願…」324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ6V74SJ433
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjCB4nOsaFj
「的確是強迫啊。」貓神說，這次沒有那麼低沉。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHtb1oMovqB
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRUK51itAZF
「咁我改一下我個願望。我個願望係想女神都鍾意我，咁樣咪唔係強迫囉！」我沾沾自喜。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfUmmUFUkWs
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdypHEgvHT
「好。最後答案？」324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl6wCfreSyr
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0WTOGE5C26
「無錯…」我有點猶豫。「啊！等陣！」324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHdLPgGzPX3
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7KKotXCEqi
「又點呀！！！」貓神暴怒地呼叫，聲調卻變得高起來，看來牠也像青春期的我一樣在刻意壓低聲線。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59239aivKn
「原來你識講口語…」324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZLdZBmh064
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsXl4Q4Rgv6
「改夠未呀煩膠？」貓神大力用權杖撞落地上，我感覺到地面澎澎作響。我有點出奇貓神也懂得「煩膠」這個用語，貓界也有兩登嗎？324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUXiq5N2nAp
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHes7llidt6
「今次真係最後…」我說，「如果你個咒語搞到我變咗女仔，咁我去咗女神屋企咪英雄無用武之地，所以我繼續要係男仔，而且每晚都要同女神一齊瞓！」324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa3tsGl5XJj
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwUrHMl5AOH
「『煩膠阿日由聖誕開始將會與女神敏青同居、同睡。其間敏青將會視阿日為最愛，而阿日將保持雄性身份。』，此乃第一個願望，未許之願還剩兩個。貓貓貓貓貓貓貓貓貓貓…」貓神再次壓低聲線，用力念着咒語。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1YJgHS1cXu
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNWTANDda6r
「貓貓貓貓貓貓？」324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEBsPWTj8HB
「雄性？點解係用雄性呢個字唔係用男仔？」324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLgzc00PGAq
「原來仲有兩個願望？」324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlEt1dUq1ZG
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGXVD2exhh9
很多問題浮在我的腦海，我嘗試大聲叫出來，卻有如黑洞一樣的力量在拉扯着我的身體以及腦袋，然後把我的聲線完全給進無底深潭內。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlX3kpfYx3F
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLjOBT2aujm
四肢好像沒有辦法發力一樣，心臟停止跳動，身體各個器官都出現前所未見的劇痛，感覺就像貓神走進了我的身體內，然後用權仗把我的世界劃破再重新裝坎。就像遇見了死神一樣，卻又突然被賦予重生的感覺。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNyqBvPX48V
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnGZ4hy1Z2t
如果還有兩個願望的話，我寧願不許，也絕對不想再經歷兩次這種痛楚…324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡygSwv9vaab
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmplR9zQ1bj
我在睡夢中醒來。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq4ZbEaH9mO
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡakV8M3QYd2
我突然想起，那股在剛才那個夢境以及名將壽司中出現過的香味是什麼。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtlpDTc21WU
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIb2CVsYeJI
是過期罐頭裏的吞拿魚。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhCAJx78NNc
