我經常做光怪陸離的夢。350Please respect copyright.PENANAevYLAiH1sB
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例如上一秒我可能在一大片人群以及鎂光燈下演講和嗚咽、下一秒在地鐵站中被絕種多年的肉食恐龍襲擊然後狂奔。350Please respect copyright.PENANAdHYCbQg4YQ
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或者本來身處羅浮宮裡遇見Taylor Swift和她的新男友兼且歌詞藍本,一眨眼後就遠在東京的Jazz酒吧和村上春樹對賭大話骰。350Please respect copyright.PENANAGTSMEfTo8u
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當然大學二年級的我還是會做很青春期分泌主導的夢,比如與前女友或者性感的女同學在布吉的別墅瘋狂做愛。350Please respect copyright.PENANAj0xsSnxjLZ
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現實中莫講是別墅並不存在,布吉在疫症蔓延時根本遙不可及。350Please respect copyright.PENANAiJK7KUglXe
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這些夢雖然有趣,但可能因為太不真實,要區分夢境和現實並沒有太難。倒是昨天晚上,我造了一個匪夷所思但真實感極強的夢。350Please respect copyright.PENANAruF7hL4Yz9
在夢中我遇見了一隻黑色的貓,牠比176的我還要高一點,拿著木造的權仗,戴黃金的頸圈,像人一樣站着。350Please respect copyright.PENANANCbTpgZVKS
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強要比喻的話,我會說牠跟古埃及文明的貓神長得有幾分像。350Please respect copyright.PENANAdHvqk30WJa
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「人類,你有想要實現的願望嗎?」貓神用低沉的聲線說,牠大概是一個男性。350Please respect copyright.PENANAPLt4sE9gZf
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「我啊?」我望望四周,不見有其他人類,指着自己問。350Please respect copyright.PENANAsw7KR1a2cG
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「對。」貓神用更低沉的聲線說。350Please respect copyright.PENANAml598ZnVNA
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「啊…咁益我?」我有點迷惘以及搞不清狀況。平常這個時候我大概會意識到自己在發夢,但這次我居然有點覺得這個貓神是實實在在的出現在我面前。350Please respect copyright.PENANASmktAwao94
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對了!350Please respect copyright.PENANAmLseMvqyLk
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大概是因為氣味。正常的夢都是沒有氣味的,但這個夢有一股強烈的味道…到底是甚麼味道?有點像小時候去西九龍中心明將壽司內會聞到的味道,腥臭卻異常吸引。350Please respect copyright.PENANA0uUFWkI6Xa
「怎麼了,阿日,沒有想實現的願望嗎?」貓神問,聲音變得更更低沉了。350Please respect copyright.PENANADRYcspC9h1
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阿日是我的名字。350Please respect copyright.PENANAEB6FuwCQGc
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「願望唔係無…但你係咪一定要用書面語講野?」我抓抓頭問,再一次懷疑到底這是夢境還是現實。如果是現實的話,整個設定未免太中二病了吧?還有為什麼牠會知道我的名字?350Please respect copyright.PENANAa1vUMlYnN6
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「所以我用口語說話就是你的最大願望嗎?」貓神用百萬富翁裡陳啓泰「最後答案?」似的語氣反問我。我並沒有看過陳啓泰的百萬富翁,但「我讀drama㗎」陳芷青經典之作卻在成長過程看過上千次。350Please respect copyright.PENANAkcigbrSSqG
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「不是!不是!」我連忙答。怎麼我也變成了用書面語說話的怪人?350Please respect copyright.PENANAxe8sLJRlvk
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「我既願望…嗯…」世界和平實在太虛偽,變成全世界最有錢這種事實在太沒挑戰性。心想事成這種願望太空泛。350Please respect copyright.PENANA5G4kMu4aun
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神貓降生在我面前,我得想一個對世界有意義的願望,不然就實在是太窩囊了。350Please respect copyright.PENANA7g1QQahzxK
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快要到聖誕節…這個節日實在太可惡。好!我決定好了!350Please respect copyright.PENANAhwGigscMyw
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「我聖誕節想同女神一齊過!一齊返屋企!」350Please respect copyright.PENANAI03Zu2ob6v
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「很好,我可以幫你實現願望。請問你的女神是誰?」350Please respect copyright.PENANAmT0xQgI988
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「住我屋企隔離既敏青。」350Please respect copyright.PENANAhFV8wvvOXt
敏青是我高中的暗戀對象。350Please respect copyright.PENANAP2kbX4fU3w
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女神成績很好,公開試前一直替我補習,可惜還沒有告訴她我的心意,我們便進入了不同的大學。350Please respect copyright.PENANAtkjaJivY4W
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當然我沒有辜負她的努力幫忙,我和敏青分別進了兩大,她是中文大學的學生,我則進了香港大學持續進修學院。350Please respect copyright.PENANA1fV5I0iIIW
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因為是鄰居的關係,事實上我自小便認識她。我們住在元朗的小區,中學就在可步行的距離。高中前的敏青外表還是一個很普通的女生,但中四拔掉眼鏡,留黑長髮的她,加上溫柔樂天的性格,開始成為學校男生瘋狂追捧的對象。350Please respect copyright.PENANAqK9l7YC0iO
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我也在差不多的時候為她著迷,甚至有點後悔沒有及早追求她。350Please respect copyright.PENANAqIRhGnHd5J
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以我所知,中學時期因為學業和家規,她基本上都拒絕了這些狂蜂浪蝶的追求,亦乖乖的在十時前回家,十二時前睡覺。但進了大學後,喜歡她的人就更多了,聽說有追求者成功了,女神也已經變成別人的女朋友。350Please respect copyright.PENANASs61WE7aXh
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「很好,你的願望就是『聖誕節與敏青一起過,然後一同回家。』,對吧?」350Please respect copyright.PENANAq5Y1DVgJY4
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貓神刻意低沉的聲音有點像老虎低吟,把我拉回現實(或者夢境)。我想起自己小時候還沒有長喉核時,為了不讓別人覺得我是女生,花了很多時間學習聲線壓低的方法。350Please respect copyright.PENANAkhN7yAhyHJ
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「等等!」我叫。「如果只係聖誕咁未得一日?」350Please respect copyright.PENANA4yTaV0jbDf
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「是的。」350Please respect copyright.PENANAsWLKHfEMrl
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「咁除夕倒數呢咁?」350Please respect copyright.PENANASCztDpndKF
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「你的願望不能確保。」350Please respect copyright.PENANAkmUPW48nWz
「咁唔得,咁我改一下…我想願望係『聖誕與敏青一同回家,然後每日與敏青一起過。』」我說。350Please respect copyright.PENANAhpqIrCpisA
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「很好,讓我改一下咒語。『聖誕與…』」350Please respect copyright.PENANAPtn9aBWrqJ
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「等等等,如果我個願望咁樣咪即係好似迫女神鍾意我同埋同我一齊咁樣?我唔想強迫佢嘅意願…」350Please respect copyright.PENANA9Q679ahW6h
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「的確是強迫啊。」貓神說,這次沒有那麼低沉。350Please respect copyright.PENANAg4Zr22CC0a
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「咁我改一下我個願望。我個願望係想女神都鍾意我,咁樣咪唔係強迫囉!」我沾沾自喜。350Please respect copyright.PENANAHvWjyWd4fs
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「好。最後答案?」350Please respect copyright.PENANA4vSpB0bEQv
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「無錯…」我有點猶豫。「啊!等陣!」350Please respect copyright.PENANAZhtG0CmSpN
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「又點呀!!!」貓神暴怒地呼叫,聲調卻變得高起來,看來牠也像青春期的我一樣在刻意壓低聲線。350Please respect copyright.PENANA0C7iVZ7j6W
「原來你識講口語…」350Please respect copyright.PENANA2O8bjgzI59
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「改夠未呀煩膠?」貓神大力用權杖撞落地上,我感覺到地面澎澎作響。我有點出奇貓神也懂得「煩膠」這個用語,貓界也有兩登嗎?350Please respect copyright.PENANAHCDUN2DVgS
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「今次真係最後…」我說,「如果你個咒語搞到我變咗女仔,咁我去咗女神屋企咪英雄無用武之地,所以我繼續要係男仔,而且每晚都要同女神一齊瞓!」350Please respect copyright.PENANAi0ogy8R2WB
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「『煩膠阿日由聖誕開始將會與女神敏青同居、同睡。其間敏青將會視阿日為最愛,而阿日將保持雄性身份。』,此乃第一個願望,未許之願還剩兩個。貓貓貓貓貓貓貓貓貓貓…」貓神再次壓低聲線,用力念着咒語。350Please respect copyright.PENANAilvo21ybum
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「貓貓貓貓貓貓?」350Please respect copyright.PENANAF3MMyplSsp
「雄性?點解係用雄性呢個字唔係用男仔?」350Please respect copyright.PENANAULi7sNIh7i
「原來仲有兩個願望?」350Please respect copyright.PENANAeXOCsxNjaG
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很多問題浮在我的腦海,我嘗試大聲叫出來,卻有如黑洞一樣的力量在拉扯着我的身體以及腦袋,然後把我的聲線完全給進無底深潭內。350Please respect copyright.PENANAZpmanEOP7p
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四肢好像沒有辦法發力一樣,心臟停止跳動,身體各個器官都出現前所未見的劇痛,感覺就像貓神走進了我的身體內,然後用權仗把我的世界劃破再重新裝坎。就像遇見了死神一樣,卻又突然被賦予重生的感覺。350Please respect copyright.PENANA6oAUXxyAGk
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如果還有兩個願望的話,我寧願不許,也絕對不想再經歷兩次這種痛楚…350Please respect copyright.PENANA8IOHrD2Exf
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我在睡夢中醒來。350Please respect copyright.PENANAII6cAvywuR
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我突然想起,那股在剛才那個夢境以及名將壽司中出現過的香味是什麼。350Please respect copyright.PENANAqBWOQmDM3J
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是過期罐頭裏的吞拿魚。350Please respect copyright.PENANApy22JU8l7r