我經常做光怪陸離的夢。350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡevYLAiH1sB
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk7aHHEmR70
例如上一秒我可能在一大片人群以及鎂光燈下演講和嗚咽、下一秒在地鐵站中被絕種多年的肉食恐龍襲擊然後狂奔。350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdHYCbQg4YQ
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYcTxy0aYcR
或者本來身處羅浮宮裡遇見Taylor Swift和她的新男友兼且歌詞藍本，一眨眼後就遠在東京的Jazz酒吧和村上春樹對賭大話骰。350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGTSMEfTo8u
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIVDfBQdrVl
當然大學二年級的我還是會做很青春期分泌主導的夢，比如與前女友或者性感的女同學在布吉的別墅瘋狂做愛。350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj0xsSnxjLZ
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd6NOVrMKId
現實中莫講是別墅並不存在，布吉在疫症蔓延時根本遙不可及。350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiJK7KUglXe
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwlMzvs3WIt
這些夢雖然有趣，但可能因為太不真實，要區分夢境和現實並沒有太難。倒是昨天晚上，我造了一個匪夷所思但真實感極強的夢。350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡruF7hL4Yz9
在夢中我遇見了一隻黑色的貓，牠比176的我還要高一點，拿著木造的權仗，戴黃金的頸圈，像人一樣站着。350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNCbTpgZVKS
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDbbiMbfdCJ
強要比喻的話，我會說牠跟古埃及文明的貓神長得有幾分像。350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdHvqk30WJa
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Jelu7hMkp
「人類，你有想要實現的願望嗎？」貓神用低沉的聲線說，牠大概是一個男性。350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPLt4sE9gZf
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmYs7ebJgaw
「我啊？」我望望四周，不見有其他人類，指着自己問。350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsw7KR1a2cG
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJWnuNWbT2
「對。」貓神用更低沉的聲線說。350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡml598ZnVNA
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ8rTqpe6GF
「啊…咁益我？」我有點迷惘以及搞不清狀況。平常這個時候我大概會意識到自己在發夢，但這次我居然有點覺得這個貓神是實實在在的出現在我面前。350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSmktAwao94
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對了！350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmLseMvqyLk
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmkCNERTGKS
大概是因為氣味。正常的夢都是沒有氣味的，但這個夢有一股強烈的味道…到底是甚麼味道？有點像小時候去西九龍中心明將壽司內會聞到的味道，腥臭卻異常吸引。350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0uUFWkI6Xa
「怎麼了，阿日，沒有想實現的願望嗎？」貓神問，聲音變得更更低沉了。350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDRYcspC9h1
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5UfWY9b7rR
阿日是我的名字。350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEB6FuwCQGc
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZbvs5w8hOd
「願望唔係無…但你係咪一定要用書面語講野？」我抓抓頭問，再一次懷疑到底這是夢境還是現實。如果是現實的話，整個設定未免太中二病了吧？還有為什麼牠會知道我的名字？350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa1vUMlYnN6
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfJ95HIVQwD
「所以我用口語說話就是你的最大願望嗎？」貓神用百萬富翁裡陳啓泰「最後答案？」似的語氣反問我。我並沒有看過陳啓泰的百萬富翁，但「我讀drama㗎」陳芷青經典之作卻在成長過程看過上千次。350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkcigbrSSqG
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkZHcMpyXiD
「不是！不是！」我連忙答。怎麼我也變成了用書面語說話的怪人？350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxe8sLJRlvk
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4gbfcw4mjJ
「我既願望…嗯…」世界和平實在太虛偽，變成全世界最有錢這種事實在太沒挑戰性。心想事成這種願望太空泛。350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5G4kMu4aun
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTSsBHNngDO
神貓降生在我面前，我得想一個對世界有意義的願望，不然就實在是太窩囊了。350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7g1QQahzxK
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiNXjuU17fn
快要到聖誕節…這個節日實在太可惡。好！我決定好了！350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhwGigscMyw
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPIX75SLpaM
「我聖誕節想同女神一齊過！一齊返屋企！」350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI03Zu2ob6v
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrBH6mGTtZV
「很好，我可以幫你實現願望。請問你的女神是誰？」350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmT0xQgI988
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi4YZtuWkLW
「住我屋企隔離既敏青。」350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhFV8wvvOXt
敏青是我高中的暗戀對象。350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP2kbX4fU3w
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg1rQ5QoSNb
女神成績很好，公開試前一直替我補習，可惜還沒有告訴她我的心意，我們便進入了不同的大學。350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkjaJivY4W
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqlR2ZEtvDY
當然我沒有辜負她的努力幫忙，我和敏青分別進了兩大，她是中文大學的學生，我則進了香港大學持續進修學院。350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1fV5I0iIIW
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMDStnEQpKS
因為是鄰居的關係，事實上我自小便認識她。我們住在元朗的小區，中學就在可步行的距離。高中前的敏青外表還是一個很普通的女生，但中四拔掉眼鏡，留黑長髮的她，加上溫柔樂天的性格，開始成為學校男生瘋狂追捧的對象。350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqK9l7YC0iO
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUsL6BUnRgf
我也在差不多的時候為她著迷，甚至有點後悔沒有及早追求她。350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqIRhGnHd5J
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBe2bkaaNhy
以我所知，中學時期因為學業和家規，她基本上都拒絕了這些狂蜂浪蝶的追求，亦乖乖的在十時前回家，十二時前睡覺。但進了大學後，喜歡她的人就更多了，聽說有追求者成功了，女神也已經變成別人的女朋友。350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSs61WE7aXh
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5QDazxq6zn
「很好，你的願望就是『聖誕節與敏青一起過，然後一同回家。』，對吧？」350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq5Y1DVgJY4
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8daVUUawL
貓神刻意低沉的聲音有點像老虎低吟，把我拉回現實（或者夢境）。我想起自己小時候還沒有長喉核時，為了不讓別人覺得我是女生，花了很多時間學習聲線壓低的方法。350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhN7yAhyHJ
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ynsUEH4PH
「等等！」我叫。「如果只係聖誕咁未得一日？」350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4yTaV0jbDf
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwnJw23USer
「是的。」350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsWLKHfEMrl
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsiPN74mBGb
「咁除夕倒數呢咁？」350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCztDpndKF
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡifOR2SPVAF
「你的願望不能確保。」350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmUPW48nWz
「咁唔得，咁我改一下…我想願望係『聖誕與敏青一同回家，然後每日與敏青一起過。』」我說。350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhpqIrCpisA
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjlBuRSa2sU
「很好，讓我改一下咒語。『聖誕與…』」350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPtn9aBWrqJ
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDpgGrfcd3Z
「等等等，如果我個願望咁樣咪即係好似迫女神鍾意我同埋同我一齊咁樣？我唔想強迫佢嘅意願…」350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Q679ahW6h
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoocvsl7w8E
「的確是強迫啊。」貓神說，這次沒有那麼低沉。350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg4Zr22CC0a
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfqLP08dsea
「咁我改一下我個願望。我個願望係想女神都鍾意我，咁樣咪唔係強迫囉！」我沾沾自喜。350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvWjyWd4fs
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsHB257Z5Tp
「好。最後答案？」350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4vSpB0bEQv
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPMzXlLoAQg
「無錯…」我有點猶豫。「啊！等陣！」350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZhtG0CmSpN
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡodYHdL4GbU
「又點呀！！！」貓神暴怒地呼叫，聲調卻變得高起來，看來牠也像青春期的我一樣在刻意壓低聲線。350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0C7iVZ7j6W
「原來你識講口語…」350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2O8bjgzI59
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEFE2pZxHks
「改夠未呀煩膠？」貓神大力用權杖撞落地上，我感覺到地面澎澎作響。我有點出奇貓神也懂得「煩膠」這個用語，貓界也有兩登嗎？350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHCDUN2DVgS
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbqIXCUa2gW
「今次真係最後…」我說，「如果你個咒語搞到我變咗女仔，咁我去咗女神屋企咪英雄無用武之地，所以我繼續要係男仔，而且每晚都要同女神一齊瞓！」350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi0ogy8R2WB
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEOQ4ljIVu2
「『煩膠阿日由聖誕開始將會與女神敏青同居、同睡。其間敏青將會視阿日為最愛，而阿日將保持雄性身份。』，此乃第一個願望，未許之願還剩兩個。貓貓貓貓貓貓貓貓貓貓…」貓神再次壓低聲線，用力念着咒語。350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡilvo21ybum
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAliCrKRr4Q
「貓貓貓貓貓貓？」350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF3MMyplSsp
「雄性？點解係用雄性呢個字唔係用男仔？」350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡULi7sNIh7i
「原來仲有兩個願望？」350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeXOCsxNjaG
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqUt8ZakiMm
很多問題浮在我的腦海，我嘗試大聲叫出來，卻有如黑洞一樣的力量在拉扯着我的身體以及腦袋，然後把我的聲線完全給進無底深潭內。350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZpmanEOP7p
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡagiQXVsHcH
四肢好像沒有辦法發力一樣，心臟停止跳動，身體各個器官都出現前所未見的劇痛，感覺就像貓神走進了我的身體內，然後用權仗把我的世界劃破再重新裝坎。就像遇見了死神一樣，卻又突然被賦予重生的感覺。350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6oAUXxyAGk
350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUazOMv4Gxy
如果還有兩個願望的話，我寧願不許，也絕對不想再經歷兩次這種痛楚…350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8IOHrD2Exf
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我在睡夢中醒來。350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡII6cAvywuR
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我突然想起，那股在剛才那個夢境以及名將壽司中出現過的香味是什麼。350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqBWOQmDM3J
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是過期罐頭裏的吞拿魚。350Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpy22JU8l7r
