發現自己變成貓是醒來後的五分鐘。307Please respect copyright.PENANAUN7fA5K9QN
307Please respect copyright.PENANAp207YPctLI
我從被窩裡頭用力鑽出來後,發現自己開不了房門,房門變得像天一樣高。307Please respect copyright.PENANAxGIfLH2AuK
307Please respect copyright.PENANAfMSkv11bx4
「搞咩啊…」我抱怨,突然想起剛才的「夢」,「Shit…我唔係變左條蟲掛?」307Please respect copyright.PENANAkhYoeHXBmK
307Please respect copyright.PENANAuKtV7jkxdL
腦內第一時間出現的是卡夫卡《變形記》入面的蟲,然後是自己被家人嫌棄,最後鬱鬱以終的畫面。卡夫卡書內記錄的是主角變成甲蟲的故事,而我現在聯想到的是自己變成精蟲…突然覺得很嘔心的打了一個冷震。307Please respect copyright.PENANA7tLRaxn4lL
307Please respect copyright.PENANAiXDwdC5spo
「如果係精蟲應該唔識得打冷震…」我自言自語說。到底為什麼我會知道精蟲不懂得打冷震?307Please respect copyright.PENANABFdnBoMBk6
307Please respect copyright.PENANATrFIGhrpiK
我用力的嘗試跳躍,勉強碰得了門把。我對於自己躍跳的強度感到有點意外:我的身高變得這麼矮小,可以達到的跳躍幅度居然是自己高度的兩三倍。307Please respect copyright.PENANA91JZoE8ZZF
307Please respect copyright.PENANApitiy340vy
「莫非貓神為咗我可以得到女神嘅歡心,將我變成NBA籃球員?」307Please respect copyright.PENANAeBiCtZEoyt
307Please respect copyright.PENANA09r1l38A2A
可是籃球是中學生的玩意啊。而且長得這麼小,連門也開不了,跳得高有屁用…307Please respect copyright.PENANAAiZDZj15qy
307Please respect copyright.PENANA1w2VFWsciI
今天可是平安夜啊,我自己一個困在房間裡,怎麼跟女神回家啊,貓神你騙我啊?願望沒有成真呢!307Please respect copyright.PENANAg2lO2TuOtj
對了…我的願望是,聖誕節,跟女神回家,同居,保持我作為男人的特長…307Please respect copyright.PENANApU0V0TLVgL
307Please respect copyright.PENANAWbr4d8uHfj
我稍為望一下自己的下半身,還好JJ還在…307Please respect copyright.PENANADZBgBKxFqo
307Please respect copyright.PENANAOMBZbGl7hF
…307Please respect copyright.PENANAoFBKI59CNG
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「哇屌!點解我全身都係毛!!!」我大叫。307Please respect copyright.PENANAC97Hvfsc8Q
307Please respect copyright.PENANAR3Zt9EFipQ
「仆街!!!啊!!!咩事啊!!!」307Please respect copyright.PENANAm3ltKKuz1r
307Please respect copyright.PENANAd39JJCQpIk
我一邊慘叫,一邊聽到娘親在房門外逐漸走近的腳步聲。307Please respect copyright.PENANA0eSa5XYSc8
307Please respect copyright.PENANAkgdNsT6vjm
「仔啊仔,因乜解究有貓喵喵叫啊?」娘親敲門問。307Please respect copyright.PENANA1FzMMOk5NR
307Please respect copyright.PENANAmWb6Bxtfte
「啊!屌,唔好入嚟啊!鎖左門嫁!」聽起來像我在看完AV穿褲子般,然後我想起原來她不進來,我也開不了門。「啊,老母,你都係入嚟啦下!」307Please respect copyright.PENANACmUernIk6r
307Please respect copyright.PENANABvbkC2a5MB
「我入嚟啦下。仔啊仔,講左幾多次唔准養貓啊,養大你一個都難啦,你養左返嚟又唔好好照顧,最後未又係阿媽養。唉,你唔好話我唔尊重你私隱,我問左幾次先入嚟嫁…」307Please respect copyright.PENANA1b4pajuFqi
307Please respect copyright.PENANAqiIjJQtO41
話音未落,便聽到扭鎖匙的聲音。我明明把後備的兩條房門匙都丟到街坊去…307Please respect copyright.PENANAACmzXMyEnp
307Please respect copyright.PENANAxrhqzgrATg
我用貓一樣的速度鑽回被窩。嗯,對了,我好像真的變成了貓。307Please respect copyright.PENANArnmG1m0np3
「奇怪…明明聽到貓貓起勢咁叫。講明先啊,阿日你個衰仔,我仲未接受到養貓嫁…你連自己都未照顧好啊,養左隻寵物又一闊三大,你仲未出嚟做嘢,而家大學畢業都搵唔到好工,更何況你讀緊Asso,唔係咁容易啊。」307Please respect copyright.PENANAPAMzWZjcqD
307Please respect copyright.PENANAm4RKIVq6JU
救命…為甚麼變了貓還能聽得到娘親的嘮叨?307Please respect copyright.PENANALGd4G7qMnq
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「…」307Please respect copyright.PENANA3dV4FeDOFv
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嗯?為甚麼突然之間又變得安靜了?307Please respect copyright.PENANAMCqlpUur9L
307Please respect copyright.PENANAI2AeF97Dut
「嘩!!!」娘親突然用力揭開被窩。307Please respect copyright.PENANALfSZViV9Jy
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「嘩!!!」我驚叫。307Please respect copyright.PENANAUnoyoV35dZ
307Please respect copyright.PENANAHxuVE0Shlw
「阿日爸爸,快啲上嚟睇吓,乖仔養左隻黑貓,好得意啊!!!」她高呼,然後伸手想要抱我。307Please respect copyright.PENANAi03oOnLATN
307Please respect copyright.PENANA46A5nlWHdA
「唔好啊阿媽!」我越過她,狂奔至房外,但家中大門緊鎖,我無處可逃。307Please respect copyright.PENANATjrIjo5Qvu
父親在大廳裏看TVB的新聞,像精神分裂一樣碎碎唸。307Please respect copyright.PENANAzIMOdBzfPY
307Please respect copyright.PENANAw6wEAakTzw
「唉政府真係冇得救,到而家都仲未開關,搞咗兩年,唉頂,一日都係班死廢青,阿叔後生多20年真係打死晒佢哋。全部都好似房嗰條友咁樣冇得救。」307Please respect copyright.PENANAzdLdAmwQGX
307Please respect copyright.PENANA09o6twvWEr
他自言自語,完全沒有理會我媽的呼喚,以及其他我引起的一切騷動。有時真的很佩服他驚人的專注力,感覺除了我和娘親的所有事情,都可以令他非常集中。307Please respect copyright.PENANAcxjk5auuaR
307Please respect copyright.PENANAOrnUYAOPZ8
「阿日爸爸,快啲幫手呀,日仔隻黑貓周圍走啊,唔知會唔會周圍瀨屎㗎,不過衰仔果然好眼光,帶返嚟隻貓咁得意,如果第時新抱仔都係咁靚女就好啦。」307Please respect copyright.PENANAaj1t3fTw1N
307Please respect copyright.PENANAYF763ZCvGS
媽,承你貴言阿,我變回人馬上找個老婆,最好是敏青,你一定滿意。還有就是,雖然我變成貓,我可不是弱智的,不會胡亂大小二便。307Please respect copyright.PENANAbQq6eWMizg
307Please respect copyright.PENANAwEJnK3iEgp
大門的方向不對,我回頭一看,電視櫃旁邊的窗沒有關,我一枝箭的直奔,跳上電視,再跳上窗台。只差一步!307Please respect copyright.PENANAn1rwV6HyiU
對了,忘記介紹,我家是位於元朗小區的一層平房,即使從窗外跳出也不會跌死。以前對於這一點非常討厭,因為蛇蟲鼠蟻好像都可以輕易進來,現在卻覺得非常慶幸。307Please respect copyright.PENANAeSQOMR6Vmt
307Please respect copyright.PENANA5HC91nTWxU
我順利從窗口跳到屋外,頭也不回的向前直跑,直至轉角再轉頭的那條窄巷小徑。307Please respect copyright.PENANACOiDskTikg
307Please respect copyright.PENANAoiyxgglzjP
好了,現在他們應該找我不到。307Please respect copyright.PENANAwRmDvaAD9C
307Please respect copyright.PENANAjldmr7OFYL
救命,告訴我,其實我在發夢對吧。我用右手手掌用力拍一拍自己的臉。307Please respect copyright.PENANAxq0Ie3tpEh
307Please respect copyright.PENANA70Ao9KdnB3
「屌,好痛。」原來被肉球打是這麼痛的一件事。對了,之前從來也沒有成功摸過肉球一次,連跟貓貓親密接觸的機會也很少。307Please respect copyright.PENANAJqWAjX3KC3
307Please respect copyright.PENANA26Kv14EVkW
我躺在地上,拉長身體,伸手用右手輕輕揉着左手手心的肉球。307Please respect copyright.PENANAMTd7dxVYU2
307Please respect copyright.PENANAWfaCdTz0UE
「啊…好舒服啊。喵…」那種感覺舒服得讓我顫抖震動着。我感嘆。307Please respect copyright.PENANAywnOzIzOLI
307Please respect copyright.PENANAjH6S40qHhD
完全進入忘我狀態。307Please respect copyright.PENANAzPks9Wnkcw
「爸爸、爸爸,你睇吓嗰隻貓幾得意,自己摸自己摸到瞌埋眼!好想摸吓佢啊…」一個拖著父親的女孩指着我說。307Please respect copyright.PENANALmEdvmw2Q3
307Please respect copyright.PENANAjPTOdU5n7C
「唔好摸街貓啊,好污糟㗎,好多蝨。」那個父親一邊玩手機一邊說,根本沒有望過我的這一面。307Please respect copyright.PENANA3AuEFRRDBt
307Please respect copyright.PENANAvKXzSeBdoo
「嗱,指還指,你咪行過嚟!」我大叫。307Please respect copyright.PENANA7MJJyUssO3
307Please respect copyright.PENANAbPZwq7wDlr
「嘩!好惡啊!!」屁孩尖叫,鬆開父親的手,然後跑走。307Please respect copyright.PENANA46RS0tXKeE
307Please respect copyright.PENANA0jhmSiciy4
自我陶醉的時間被打斷實在太可惡。307Please respect copyright.PENANAfD8Gvl6wpD
307Please respect copyright.PENANALl6cmUdz67
算了,讓我先整理一下目前的狀況吧。307Please respect copyright.PENANAxajsssmPmU
307Please respect copyright.PENANADzOJqbaN8x
首先,我在非常真實的夢境入面遇見那隻貓神,他用權杖和低沉的聲音念咒語,將我在現實中變成一隻黑貓。307Please respect copyright.PENANALdgkqGiAe8
307Please respect copyright.PENANAj0j7H5AkFl
然後,現實的人,包括我的父親母親,好像都聽不懂我說的話,我可以假設我現在說的是貓語。至於我是否擁有和其他貓咪溝通的能力,還有待驗證。307Please respect copyright.PENANAIV637u82Ak
307Please respect copyright.PENANA6BWtmXmUtc
最後,我的確還是男生,只是已經不是人類…即使願望能夠達成,也是貓雄無用武之地啊…可惡的貓神!對了,牠說我還有兩個願望。307Please respect copyright.PENANABZvY9reyoz
307Please respect copyright.PENANA9lMlLZZ9vB
「貓貓貓貓貓貓,幫我變返做人類!」我嘗試念着咒語。307Please respect copyright.PENANAUpecNgytfS
307Please respect copyright.PENANAOsmf2vFVlz
可是好像一點用途都沒有。307Please respect copyright.PENANAkicV3DtqE2
天啊。307Please respect copyright.PENANAkXImOcf1Lv
307Please respect copyright.PENANAWgY76EO7Y2
天氣好冷,這天可是平安夜,非但沒有如願以償,還流落街頭,有家歸不得。連陪伴了我20年的左手也變成了肉球。307Please respect copyright.PENANAIJRCScKz2k
307Please respect copyright.PENANA26hphn7XYl
我慢步走到家附近的停車場,平常五分鐘的路程,現在好像花了我半小時,手腳還是處於有點不協調的狀態。307Please respect copyright.PENANAnuVZWtdFhq
307Please respect copyright.PENANAHkwCMUX76a
我在車場裏搜索,千辛萬苦找到一輛Benz。307Please respect copyright.PENANADw8exdD1aa
307Please respect copyright.PENANAnxyAxpuLrS
「平時冇錢坐歐洲車,做貓享受下。」307Please respect copyright.PENANAC9uEkhk2BH
307Please respect copyright.PENANAErsLBaUSba
我走到Benz的車底,向上探頭,想找個地方取暖。車子看起來一直停泊在停車場入面,鋪滿塵埃,算是一個比較安全的選擇。307Please respect copyright.PENANA1l8NbZnTiL
307Please respect copyright.PENANA21btvQ9tag
「邊個俾你入嚟?」突然在Benz車底的位置,有三、四對青黃色的眼睛瞪着我。其中一隻用低沉的語氣說。307Please respect copyright.PENANAvv4ZvkFBZK
307Please respect copyright.PENANAEjJ3xJLRU3
「吓,我經過咋喎?」我狡辯。不知道為什麼會用狡辯這個詞語,感覺我好像做錯事似的。307Please respect copyright.PENANATgtcQeCssJ
307Please respect copyright.PENANA1n5LJqsU3l
「呢個停車場淨係比有貢獻嘅貓入嚟,你過主啦。」剛才的聲音變得更低沉。為什麼貓咪都要壓低聲音說話?貓神如是,這些貓也是。307Please respect copyright.PENANA9QW1Hegg5q
307Please respect copyright.PENANAahlTeXzBES
「要點樣貢獻?」我問。307Please respect copyright.PENANAuoLvvKbR45
307Please respect copyright.PENANAyIgDl3SOFq
「幫阿公做嘢都要教,你新嚟㗎?」一隻虎斑貓從車底跳下來,牠是剛才開口的那隻貓。307Please respect copyright.PENANAQ0VPWLtOLe
307Please respect copyright.PENANAe5P6gvtE0R
「我係真係新嚟嫁…你有見過我咩?」我反問。307Please respect copyright.PENANABTnbweZFSB
307Please respect copyright.PENANAarWrlDimUp
「𡃁仔,你依家係咪咁串呀?」307Please respect copyright.PENANAsl3mXWwiiO
307Please respect copyright.PENANA7dxorq1sau
「見你黑媽媽咁樣,知咩事啦?」另一隻白貓亦從Benz的車底跳下。還有幾隻唐貓跟着在其他車底突然出現。307Please respect copyright.PENANArzdCWOzmmP
307Please respect copyright.PENANA8etaflR5Ud
「話就話呢度元朗姐大佬,貓都有鄉黑?」我被逼往後退,幾隻社團貓向我步步進迫。307Please respect copyright.PENANAT6ipN3n3rD
307Please respect copyright.PENANAINv8PElIxZ
「啪、啪、啪」突然聽到金屬敲打的聲音。307Please respect copyright.PENANAa9jOh9HJXX
307Please respect copyright.PENANAh6Do9oIU9h
「喵!!」所有本來快要把我團團圍住的社團貓突然散開,然後跑向停車場收費亭的那邊。307Please respect copyright.PENANAjdMPA1Ng9J
307Please respect copyright.PENANAPYD8buQ36T
「你班衰貓又打交,唔好成日搞搞震啦。」停車場管理員大叔一路從收費亭走出來,一路用匙羹敲打手上的幾個罐罐。307Please respect copyright.PENANAfYxpCKEafC
307Please respect copyright.PENANAcpe6LCQKBl
「喵!喵!喵!」群貓圍著大叔和他的罐頭。我則趁機會從另一邊溜走。逃跑的時候,還聞到罐頭的香氣撲鼻。307Please respect copyright.PENANA5o9DC1SmTK
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是淡淡的吞拿魚清香…嗚嗚,如果可以加入那個貓社團就好。真的好冷好肚餓呀。雖然過程不太順利,總算證實了自己能夠和其他貓貓溝通。307Please respect copyright.PENANA57YoqRQk7E
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我從停車場的不遠處,看到一個紙箱。我本能意識的爬了進去。307Please respect copyright.PENANAlQjNGhgNxz
307Please respect copyright.PENANA1fE4KGov1q
「呢度好暖好舒服啊…」我陶醉的躺在紙箱內,然後眼前的紙皮逐漸變得模糊起來。307Please respect copyright.PENANAHLa1BB3hxl
我在夢中沒有見到貓神,但就變回了人類,和敏青坦白了自己的愛意,她緊抱著我,然後與我激烈的擁吻著。307Please respect copyright.PENANATBfn2Ksxnr
307Please respect copyright.PENANAjB7aIw8DHo
突然在夢中,我感受到身體有人輕輕的撫摸着我,是無比溫暖的手。我拖着疲倦而且寒冷的身軀,努力睜開自己雙眼。307Please respect copyright.PENANAq4FJ2HEbBb
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是妳嗎,敏青?貓神你不要騙我。307Please respect copyright.PENANAyf1Q8OCAJZ
307Please respect copyright.PENANAXZ5FvUGYHi
「好得意呀佢。」是敏青輕柔的聲線,別說變成貓,就算我變成甲蟲都應該不會搞錯啊。307Please respect copyright.PENANABYAkNy9EI9
307Please respect copyright.PENANAyx16wNwuZL
「係啊B…佢仲好暖。」另一把聲令我發抖,明明是一個大男人,卻升高聲線用BB聲說話。他用手摸著我的背。307Please respect copyright.PENANAysZsJ4zR3M
307Please respect copyright.PENANASFJKvMiWB7
「你再扮女人,我一定打撚死你!」我大叫,然後想要咬他,可是他手縮得很快。哼,膽小鬼。307Please respect copyright.PENANA2CiXcsmILq
307Please respect copyright.PENANAqlNw5kjDuu
「嘩,佢好惡啊B!」街燈照射到他的樣子。天啊,敏青的男朋友是一個面目可憎的MK仔。307Please respect copyright.PENANAjM6ydlea2F
307Please respect copyright.PENANAyf0JKnzrpb
「你溫柔啲啦,佢可能驚啊!」敏青輕輕打一下MK仔的手。307Please respect copyright.PENANANO03QQG3yo
307Please respect copyright.PENANAdh7ywN4Wbj
「我淨係對你溫柔㗎咋B。」他嘔心的說。307Please respect copyright.PENANAlbsaq4GUvN
307Please respect copyright.PENANAmrzC21vDFg
「阿明,今晚好凍呀,而且又係平安夜,唔知佢捱唔捱得過,不如帶佢返屋企咯?」敏青對MK仔男朋友說。原來這傢伙叫阿明,名字都特別醜。307Please respect copyright.PENANA45qMktOSoX
307Please respect copyright.PENANA5PwYEhHeWT
「我哋唔係講好咗話養狗咩,而且你都冇問過屋企人。」MK仔有點猶豫說。307Please respect copyright.PENANAXnRwA4zpzP
307Please respect copyright.PENANALKSNFPM08P
「但係佢好慘呀!如果過幾日出嚟見到佢條屍嘅話我一定會好唔安樂。」307Please respect copyright.PENANAFfJEnseVoE
307Please respect copyright.PENANAcEWOxWtu68
對了,這個年頭的人都是變態的,野豬都能夠亂殺,更何況街貓。快點帶我回家吧!307Please respect copyright.PENANAYap7iNPjjh
「不過…」307Please respect copyright.PENANAowpkr1CpRM
307Please respect copyright.PENANA70P1Q8Qtig
「唔好不過啦!我屋企咋嘛,又唔係你屋企!」307Please respect copyright.PENANAWvOIDUlVRL
307Please respect copyright.PENANAXR5bT0p3yO
「你屋企咪即係我屋企囉。」他又用BB聲,求求你快點滾開吧。307Please respect copyright.PENANA2ZsqXYo7j7
307Please respect copyright.PENANA55fYnNnREF
「咁你咁錫我!一定會支持我㗎B!」敏青撒嬌地說,我聽到自己心碎的聲音。307Please respect copyright.PENANAYlmTh5I2AS
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「好啦好啦。咁今晚平安夜,我哋一齊返屋企啦。」MK仔終於說出自己最大的心願。307Please respect copyright.PENANAe2szDXeUPP
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「你呀,同我同貓貓返咗屋企之後,乖乖返自己屋企啊!不可以色色!」敏青說,我露出勝利的眼神望著MK。307Please respect copyright.PENANANJqVobmbiK
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「嗯~又唔俾我~」MK又再撒嬌,我毛管棟得要命。307Please respect copyright.PENANABFdN6GEwFU
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「係喎,唔知佢係男仔定女仔黎呢?」敏青嘗試轉移話題。女神果然是玉潔冰清的!307Please respect copyright.PENANArIBO2ly6qX
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「等我睇吓先!」叫做阿明的MK作勢想要抱我。307Please respect copyright.PENANAR5jqhcpLof
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「救命啊!!」我嘗試掙扎,無奈我對於爪的操控能力還是非常欠佳。307Please respect copyright.PENANA2ATqMRScx6
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「應該係女仔黎,你睇吓,冇姑姑㗎。」阿明指著我的下體說。307Please respect copyright.PENANA05lf9I1iBI
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「你盲㗎?咁大條你都睇唔到?」307Please respect copyright.PENANAm8Vj7IBY4w
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敏青把臉哄過來我的下身,仔細觀察着我的下體。雖然隔着口罩和幾cm的距離,我卻能嗅到她的香氣和感覺到她呼氣的熱度。不知是因為女神真的很香還是我的嗅覺變得靈敏。307Please respect copyright.PENANA4w2OQDKHQo
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「乞嗤!」每次女神靠得很近時,我總是忍不著打噴嚏,做人的時候是這樣,做貓如是。看來是心理作用大於生理反應。(有另外的生理反應便是了)307Please respect copyright.PENANAjlupao6Onj
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「係喎,真係冇喎。」她說。307Please respect copyright.PENANAyLOK4hY63O
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「…」被女神這樣一說,我真的非常無奈。307Please respect copyright.PENANALIAtOGPEkV
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「好啦,就叫你做阿月啦靚女!今日開始你就係我嘅屋企人啦!」敏青抱起箱子,在男朋友的陪同下,將我帶回她的家。307Please respect copyright.PENANAoMblLQhXsr
這一切都來得太突然以及太真實了。我抬頭望向天空,嘗試找出第二個月亮,這樣大概就能證明我還是在做夢。可是,第二個月亮並不存在,明月以外,除了星宿還是星宿。307Please respect copyright.PENANA3faEa0eYnJ
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無論如何,從平安夜步入聖誕節的這一刻,我還是願望成真了。307Please respect copyright.PENANAA3gC1GkRnh
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見步行步吧。307Please respect copyright.PENANAuzdf1zVPMG