十三171Please respect copyright.PENANA3thzuEWxTD
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在我的生活變得千奇百怪前,我有旁聽的習慣。有時是為了贖罪,有時是為了得到救贖,有時我不知道是為了什麼,可能只是單純地、一廂情願地想要相信,這樣會令在欄內的那個別人的孩子好過一點,或者令自己好過一點。171Please respect copyright.PENANAgxfITo1ZBQ
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每次令我忍不住崩潰的,是宣判還押的那一刻,法庭大多都很小,欄內和欄外最近的親友席,可能只是幾十厘米的距離。171Please respect copyright.PENANAeZTfpCbnHM
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但在這一刻,距離並非尺子可以計算,欄內的他們,與我們的距離是以年月計算。可能是九個月、可能是九年,在新聞稿、IG post上的數字,是有血有肉的年歲,是一個又一個的離別和擁抱。171Please respect copyright.PENANAbhpiXhirXm
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我的父母不用經歷那種痛,敏青也不用經歷那種離別,只有我會記得,而且我仍然可以安靜的守在他們的身邊,保護他們。不是已經比很多家庭幸運得多了嗎?171Please respect copyright.PENANA9TuOPAugZ3
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敏青的家明明只在對面,我的腳伐卻重得離譜,每一步也像注滿鉛一樣,寸步難行。171Please respect copyright.PENANAqrZTbmwWPn
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我輕輕的拍了青家的門,我等了大約二十秒,應門的是敏青。171Please respect copyright.PENANAuc9PV6m7Fq
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「…日?」女神比平常憔悴很多,昨天到現在大概應該沒有睡過,雖然如此,這個模樣卻令人更加由憐生愛。171Please respect copyright.PENANAn8fwEtyAzU
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「青。」171Please respect copyright.PENANA1mbtwb2iDa
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「啪!」171Please respect copyright.PENANAeeg8aRGQqv
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敏青用盡全力似的賞我一記耳光,眼淚隨巴掌而至,如泉湧般湧出,然後她雙手挽在我的頸後,臉靠在我的胸口一直哭,衛衣在一秒間濕透。171Please respect copyright.PENANAbfSsBqpOom
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「衰人!」171Please respect copyright.PENANAwPL7SvInGH
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「嗯…」171Please respect copyright.PENANAk2DceSPEGX
171Please respect copyright.PENANAB2AamFzzYR
「衰人!衰人!衰人!衰人!」171Please respect copyright.PENANA4OPUjakXTZ
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「對唔…」171Please respect copyright.PENANA1N3VpqicWp
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「每次都自己走左去!每次都係咁!中五聖誕節既時候係咁!放榜既時候係咁!2019年既時候係咁!今次都係咁!」171Please respect copyright.PENANAaV35dJczlV
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青用手掌拍著我的胸膛,卻又全身乏力的挨着我。171Please respect copyright.PENANAY42bSitH3c
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「你唔係話唔會丟低我嫁咩!」青哭著叫道,橋的另一邊清脆的傳來回音。「你唔係話要同我一齊完成對方既夢想嫁咩!唔係話要比我睇你寫既書嫁咩!衰日!衰日!大臭日!」171Please respect copyright.PENANAOhncYobkgN
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「對唔…」我從沒看過敏青這樣。171Please respect copyright.PENANA6Lwo5UlH3J
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「對唔住有咩用!你唔准!你唔准!唔准再丟低我一個!」171Please respect copyright.PENANAq9IHYpdeHL
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「唔會了…」我說。171Please respect copyright.PENANAaQjTxckDTu
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「我好驚,好驚你會有咩事,我好怕,我好…孤單…我好…掛…」171Please respect copyright.PENANABjOVvXnC88
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「殊…」我將食指放在敏青的咀唇上,然後輕輕的吻了下去。這不是我本來就打算做的事,但這一刻我沒有想任何其他的東西。我感覺到她有點嚇倒的向後退了一點,卻又在半秒後用咀唇回應著我。171Please respect copyright.PENANAjDu0qE1OAJ
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「唔應該係你講嫁。敏青。」我說,「我…我好掛住你,我好鍾意你,我好愛你。」171Please respect copyright.PENANALaLb7jjhTl
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「傻仔…」171Please respect copyright.PENANAbECPZwAqa0
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「我…我好後悔,一直都無講,或者講完無好好記住,我好想、好想,可以用另一個身份,朋友、中學同學以外既身份,喺你身邊,守護你。」
「我…我好後悔,一直都無講,或者講完無好好記住,我好想、好想,可以用另一個身份,朋友、中學同學以外既身份,喺你身邊,守護你。」171Please respect copyright.PENANAWVx8SRPtru
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「你而家講左啦。日。」171Please respect copyright.PENANAXAsZbeXz5j
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「嗯。用日嘅身份講。」171Please respect copyright.PENANAVehMkYdQNN
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然後以月的身份守護。171Please respect copyright.PENANADCqI2rtK6M
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「日嘅身份?」敏青問。171Please respect copyright.PENANA8LcLtr0QnF
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「吾。無野。」171Please respect copyright.PENANAlbNcfQo9IK
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「傻瓜。」她說。171Please respect copyright.PENANAXQHoV09qUx
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敏青領我到她家的客廳坐下,感覺有點奇怪,明明昨天我都還是從這裡起床,但…從貓眼看的世界、還有以人的身份看的世界好像完全不同。高度、身份,與面前這個一直暗戀的女孩子對望的角度。171Please respect copyright.PENANAlM2muLzAHq
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她給我倒了一杯水,然後坐在我的旁邊,家中沒有其他人,看來在通宵達旦的找我之後,還是要上班上學去,一想到這點就覺得很抱歉。171Please respect copyright.PENANAg6v3jxoOwO
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「你啊!係唔係應該同我解釋下,你到底去左邊啊?」青問。171Please respect copyright.PENANALXQbsWNT9L
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「的確係需要解釋…但呢一刻,我無辦法解釋。好抱歉。」171Please respect copyright.PENANAP5Q7zkml4Z
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「…嗯…」171Please respect copyright.PENANABDsOWtKWdH
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「我答應你,我會話比你知,只係…唔係今日!」171Please respect copyright.PENANAbqhPkjp0TB
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「…好啦。古古怪怪啊你成日都。唔准再粒聲唔出走左去啊…應承我嫁!」敏青伸出手指尾,我緊緊的勾着。171Please respect copyright.PENANAyhRz2oYbMJ
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「我應承你。」171Please respect copyright.PENANAJg0dqed4Vx
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我又說謊了…對不起啊。我說要回家食娘親煮的飯、我說不再離開你們、我說要把所有告訴敏青,我統統都做不到…真的很抱歉…171Please respect copyright.PENANADRkSxzK5JY
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我只能答應我自己,一定會用盡所能的方法回復正常。即使你們沒要求,我只能答應你們,你們由明天起床開始,就不會覺得痛苦…171Please respect copyright.PENANATmx7h8RoIu
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「青。」171Please respect copyright.PENANAiRB83S36O0
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「嗯?」171Please respect copyright.PENANAIOBRDxlfXH
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「今日係你生日啊。20歲啦。」171Please respect copyright.PENANAXzZsx1yggh
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「嗯嗯,你今日比左好大個驚喜我啊!」171Please respect copyright.PENANACuDHIn2qqj
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「仲有禮物收嫁。」我說,從衛衣的口袋拿出那本《挪威的森林》的下冊。171Please respect copyright.PENANA8PoGd34xu1
「仲有禮物收嫁。」我說,從衛衣的口袋拿出那本《挪威的森林》的下冊。171Please respect copyright.PENANAG8vkzCDNxV
171Please respect copyright.PENANAzRiKl3e4zC
「我仲未讀到社工啊。」青說,「我有乖乖哋,一直都未買嚟睇,雖然好想知道之後渡邊同直子嘅關係會變成點。」171Please respect copyright.PENANAFduVPcKfir
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「嗯,係呀你未讀到啊,所以冇得偷懶,一定要讀到,轉科又好,Master又好,拎咗本書就唔可以反口㗎啦。」我笑著說。171Please respect copyright.PENANADHsZLV66FM
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「喂呀,點可以咁奸矛嫁!」口這樣說,敏青卻甜笑着。171Please respect copyright.PENANAtYdq27Me75
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「你揭開本書睇吓。上面寫咗幾句句子,三年前送上冊俾你嘅時候,就已經喺呢本下冊上面寫左…一直都冇機會俾你,但係我唔想再等啦。」171Please respect copyright.PENANAGfzppE0Rs5
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已經沒有時間再等了。171Please respect copyright.PENANAPyJ4baA51W
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敏青從我手上接過這本《挪威的森林》的下冊,然後小心翼翼地揭開第一頁,上面寫滿了我醜陋的字。171Please respect copyright.PENANA1QEpFNKkGe
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青:171Please respect copyright.PENANAbqWtKDhhSF
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距離夢想又再踏前一大步了!171Please respect copyright.PENANA6aUW0D3bOC
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你知道我是個悲觀主義者,我沒有辦法相信「生命或者命運這回事,永遠會作出最好的安排」這些句子。但是我長久以來,一直也相信你,還有你的能力。從小就認識你,你每件事也做得比我好,然後還努力的一直安慰着弱小的我…171Please respect copyright.PENANAXtsK4lbWl0
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謝謝你呀。171Please respect copyright.PENANAovwKlyCVRU
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對了…一直不知道應該怎樣開口,好像怎樣開口也是很奇怪,畢竟我們已經認識了很久。或者早已經過了最好的時機,或者我們從一開始也是沒有任何機會的。但是,我還是想告訴你…只是單純的告訴你。171Please respect copyright.PENANAXoUR9IMsp2
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我愛你。171Please respect copyright.PENANArLKeCPCKQK
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日171Please respect copyright.PENANAH0bLkh6Pqk
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「蠢材。」171Please respect copyright.PENANAo7A80sWjkx
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「係呀,我係。」感覺已經完全豁出去了,反正已經沒有應該保留的原因。171Please respect copyright.PENANAX4hkOTUGuh
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「你仲未聽我講啊。」青害羞地說。171Please respect copyright.PENANATwr9glgUCL
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「係?」171Please respect copyright.PENANAzO9HVzMOVA
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「嗯…吾…我都愛你。」171Please respect copyright.PENANAteXlqiga10
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「多謝你。」我說。171Please respect copyright.PENANAhXT2u4zoqY
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「我多謝你呀。」她說。171Please respect copyright.PENANAmfb1sW4lZ0
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「我哋識左十幾年啦…從來冇試過咁樣講嘢。」171Please respect copyright.PENANAbCHop4BYvY
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「嗯…感覺有啲…奇怪?」敏青定了神的看着我,她的臉蛋看起來好像比我記憶中中更加可愛。171Please respect copyright.PENANAyJEsTuFwY3
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「唔奇怪啊。」我偷吻了她一下臉,「只係唔真實。」171Please respect copyright.PENANAlD28ikZdOf
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「唔真實咩…喂?!」我用公主抱的方式,把她連同她手中的書從梳化上抱起,我用手臂緊緊的抱緊她的上半身和大腿,把她整個人貼到我的胸膛前面。171Please respect copyright.PENANAMcHjHKJeuL
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「喂!你做咩啊!」青害羞的小聲叫著,用手拍了一下我的肩膊。171Please respect copyright.PENANAx95SEFtB37
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對不起啊,敏青,就讓我任性一下吧。171Please respect copyright.PENANAwPgsT3KRwK
「有個地方,我一直都好想用日嘅身份去嫁。」171Please respect copyright.PENANAMtsnmfDb5c
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「你講咩呀傻瓜!快啲放低我啦!」171Please respect copyright.PENANA6eVov1pu6p
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「唔要。」171Please respect copyright.PENANARKTyldwDmO
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我把她從客廳抱到睡房內,溫柔的把她放在床上,我把她手上緊抱的《挪威的森林》下冊拿起,小心翼翼的放到書櫃本來的上冊旁邊。171Please respect copyright.PENANARtpnaWPEHp
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「日…你做咩啊…」171Please respect copyright.PENANAza29pq75aR
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「我愛你。」171Please respect copyright.PENANACu4oi2EsM1
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我試探的將嘴靠近敏青的臉,她本來就白裏透紅的臉蛋變得更加紅了。我把手輕放在她頸後頭髮的位置,輕力的推她靠近我,近得我能清楚的聽到她的呼吸,還有呼氣的溫度,用人的身份。她的呼吸慢慢變得急促起來,後頸也變得更加暖,好像有點輕微發熱的感覺。171Please respect copyright.PENANAwd5AjdFPKR
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「如果送俾你三個願望,你會想要啲乜嘢?」我跟她鼻貼鼻,看著她的眼睛,問。171Please respect copyright.PENANAbmyZkP5J2O
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「吾…我唔知啊…」清用氣聲回應,「你呢…日…你會許咩願?」171Please respect copyright.PENANAPWQMWMYNwS
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「你。」171Please respect copyright.PENANAl8qLGxJOkA
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說罷便溫柔吻下去敏青的嘴,她沒有用力緊閉雙唇,我用舌尖輕輕的探著,青的嘴很暖,像她的身體一樣,她用舌頭回應著我的渴望。171Please respect copyright.PENANA7hFZ2yY9eD
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「…仲有兩個…願望呢?」敏青一邊跟我接吻,一邊問。她的呼吸變得更加急促。171Please respect copyright.PENANASXuVQN0IHk
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「你、同埋你。」我說,把手不安分的從頸後掃到她的腰間,她身體本能縮了一下,喉嚨發出「嗯」的一下哼聲。171Please respect copyright.PENANAUjoszVWTN8
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「對唔住啊…」我說。171Please respect copyright.PENANAZMhoROqEBR
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「唔係呀…」青想要解釋。171Please respect copyright.PENANAFmx6xOh8Rz
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「殊…」我用氣聲回應,「細聲啲呀,如果唔係你隻貓仔會聽到㗎。」171Please respect copyright.PENANAqSTW7kdUwo
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「我隻貓?」敏青一臉疑惑的表情。171Please respect copyright.PENANAZXXfG8leLp
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啊。佩服了,這次想得很周到啊貓神。你果然是真得很想看到我會怎樣告別。一想到他現在不知道在哪裏看着我們兩個,就覺得有點不寒而慄。171Please respect copyright.PENANAV1jp4tlb6y
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「嗯?做咩啊?日。」171Please respect copyright.PENANAMpLoanDhFH
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「冇嘢啊。」171Please respect copyright.PENANA7bTgmk8545
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「你係咪諗起第二個女仔!」敏青呷醋的說。171Please respect copyright.PENANAYVC5kYdPf9
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「冇啊。」171Please respect copyright.PENANAEhzkdmFpUg
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「如果係呢個時候諗起第二個女仔,我會喊㗎。」171Please respect copyright.PENANAMsvMJuakkD
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「點會喎!」171Please respect copyright.PENANAOidGjLoNqB
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第二個女孩子嗎…嗯…有點像「不要想大笨象」這個概念,這樣說完之後,就會滿腦子是大象啊。但有第二個女孩這件事嗎…171Please respect copyright.PENANA7ib2x9RX0M
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綠。171Please respect copyright.PENANAWHqfmRzk2X
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啊,為什麼這種時候會想起她。171Please respect copyright.PENANAf8rOIW4TPS
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「哦!你真係諗起第二個女仔!」敏青像能夠讀心一樣。讀心…啊…糟糕了。這個關鍵詞有點出錯。171Please respect copyright.PENANAPNwY2YYSFf
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「冇啊冇啊,真係冇呀!」171Please respect copyright.PENANAySjIlrT7nf
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「唔信你!」敏青呷醋的樣子還是這樣可人。171Please respect copyright.PENANAUxq70b5mHk
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「唔准唔信。」我用隻手捉緊敏青的腰。171Please respect copyright.PENANA7MDrAJIkKq
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「喂!好痕啊~」她一面笑著,一面想用手去擋,但整個人好像酥軟得沒辦法發力一樣。我順勢把她壓在床上,我的左手用力的頂着床,不讓自己的重量壓在她身上,右手則輕撫着她的臉,她的心跳聲越來越響,跳得越來越快,好像伴隨着我急速的脈搏跳動一樣。171Please respect copyright.PENANAON2RZGPEtn
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我們都無法按奈自己了。171Please respect copyright.PENANAsJUmreNQq3
「唔比你啊。你諗起第二個女仔!」171Please respect copyright.PENANAEjryUrNIdX
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「我冇呀。你都唔准諗起第二個男仔。」171Please respect copyright.PENANAHSv1Mz17KU
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「我點會喎!」171Please respect copyright.PENANAikRpT3dVeM
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「你男朋友?」171Please respect copyright.PENANAuXS1oDSwmT
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「邊有男朋友喎!」敏青說。貓神啊貓神,如果我在這刻感謝你,算不算斯德哥爾摩後群?171Please respect copyright.PENANAJW5tz29RxD
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我把衛衣脫掉,然後用舌頭親吻着青的頸,她的頸散發着她淡淡的清香,是那種籠罩着她房間的味道。171Please respect copyright.PENANA0yTvFtElwT
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我從頸親下去,幫她脫掉她那件平常在家穿的大鼻鋼牙T恤,雪白的胸部在我面前,大小剛好可以用我的手掌包緊。我一邊輕咬她的鎖骨,一邊協助她從肩胛解開粉紫色的胸罩。青的乳房就這樣坦露在我的前面,我用嘴巴輕吻着她的淺色的乳頭,她緊閉雙眼,頭微微向上傾的呻吟着,手不由自主的放在我的肩膊上面,有點想發力卻又酥軟冇力。171Please respect copyright.PENANAG6RDt6DOFD
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「日…」171Please respect copyright.PENANAcnyNaUAZdW
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「敏清…」171Please respect copyright.PENANAdvplkHFGlc
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我從她的乳房重新吻至她的嘴唇,一邊親吻著她,一邊把手探到她的運動短褲內。171Please respect copyright.PENANALJLbqXDGCs
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我感覺得到她正激烈地渴求着我。前所未有的、溫柔的,卻又強烈的渴求着。171Please respect copyright.PENANAbFdKluxBvA
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我把自己的棉褲脫掉,然後替青把她的短褲拉到腳眼。我的視線一秒也沒有離開過敏青的雙眼,敏青也看著我的臉,害羞的不敢向下望。171Please respect copyright.PENANACNmlXj4c0q
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我輕輕的壓在敏青的身上,下體早已勃起,感覺到她濕潤的身體,我沒有在外面停留太久,便稍為用力的頂進去。青緊閉雙眼,帶痛楚還有舒服的叫著我的名字。她的腰隨我的下身擺動着,用腳盤在我的身後,把我的陰莖推得更入。她的陰道緊緊的包着我,我沒有辦法用任何字眼去形容那種舒服而溫暖的感覺。171Please respect copyright.PENANAASiQr2r0v7
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「我…愛你…」171Please respect copyright.PENANA7O7BcPyFDq
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「我愛你…」171Please respect copyright.PENANAUCVf9b2bLV
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「永遠都唔好離開我…」青說。171Please respect copyright.PENANAkHoPdEaokk
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「永遠都唔會…」我說。171Please respect copyright.PENANAdpMXZNmsMN
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我不知道這是不是謊言。或者,作為人類的我們永遠都不會知道,到底永遠是有多遠。又或者,在我們做愛的那刻,我們就是永遠。171Please respect copyright.PENANAUYl97px6RG
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在我射精的一瞬間,我沒有辦法制止自己的哭了。171Please respect copyright.PENANAlE5LV5kACu
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我真的很愛面前這個女孩子,是愛而不是喜歡,這兩個概念有時模糊不清,有時候卻清楚得很。這是我第一次抱她,我知道這大概也是我最後一次抱她,接下來的日子,無論如何 努力地、拼命地想要保護眼前這個女孩子,在找到解藥之前,我也只是一隻貓。171Please respect copyright.PENANAnOefaWbeO1
青緊緊的抱著我的背,良久也沒有鬆開手,我也沒有將陰莖拔出,在這一個瞬間,我和她沒有任何的距離,物理距離也好,心的距離也好。171Please respect copyright.PENANAYcG2k3EBr7
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「你記唔記得我講過有關『現在』同埋『未來』嘅關係?」敏清問我,手仍然緊緊的抱着我。171Please respect copyright.PENANAzEVJ1TaOFU
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「記得。你想有一段『現在』幸福,然後可以計劃『未來』嘅普通關係。」171Please respect copyright.PENANAQ3qoOtYn7h
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「嗯。其實仲有有關『過去』。」171Please respect copyright.PENANAMKF6VjZ9F7
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「『過去』?」171Please respect copyright.PENANAUfIpw7UyHs
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「日,如果可以回到過去,有啲乜嘢你會重新選擇?」171Please respect copyright.PENANAUvGmcioVqD
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「大概係盡早同你表白吧。喺太遲之前。」171Please respect copyright.PENANAIbOiE3rv60
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「而家太遲咩?」敏清問我。171Please respect copyright.PENANAijeioaiLfR
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「吾…唔遲。」171Please respect copyright.PENANAE6DFyhf9qN
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太遲了。171Please respect copyright.PENANAf4i2Zd9Y2i
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「唔遲啊,我一直都等緊你。」青說,臉貼著我的肩膊,我感覺到肩膊有點濕濕的,應該是她在哭。171Please respect copyright.PENANAsTngnQiGdh
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「我哋都冇辦法回到過去。時間只會向前走。」我說。171Please respect copyright.PENANAcqz4mSHOnQ
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「嗯,大概。又或者會停留。」171Please respect copyright.PENANAzS1zX4CB65
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「停留?」我問。171Please respect copyright.PENANATWhVvMkU7z
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「嗯,你有辦法將時間停留。同你一齊嘅時間太幸福啦,幸福到秒針唔識得向前走。」青抱得我更緊。171Please respect copyright.PENANA2xzrU30p7E
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「如果係咁就真係太好啦。」我說。171Please respect copyright.PENANAEsc52cQOSa
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「男朋友。」171Please respect copyright.PENANAoQUMEcnuvg
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「女朋友。」171Please respect copyright.PENANAfiA4IejjkL
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在她睡著之前,送了我一天男朋友的身份。171Please respect copyright.PENANAXybq4IwtXx
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謝謝你,敏青。171Please respect copyright.PENANAgq5SAjgP89
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滴答滴答。171Please respect copyright.PENANAvZuHgxgME3
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「時間到了。」171Please respect copyright.PENANAqTQO606Byf
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時間到了。171Please respect copyright.PENANA57ZVcZ4OAB
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再見了,父親、母親。171Please respect copyright.PENANAfKsKxZljaF
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再見了,敏青。171Please respect copyright.PENANAqZSB6uspkz
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日,後會有期了。171Please respect copyright.PENANAsme0okfwar
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我閉上眼,對自己說。171Please respect copyright.PENANAhDA5NwTwv5
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(十三 完)171Please respect copyright.PENANAScb18CrLFv