發現自己變成貓是醒來後的五分鐘。258Please respect copyright.PENANAJzcnIyRB2J
258Please respect copyright.PENANAfjhvpaIFRl
我從被窩裡頭用力鑽出來後,發現自己開不了房門,房門變得像天一樣高。258Please respect copyright.PENANA8zn6XLY87I
258Please respect copyright.PENANAHSslxy23iP
「搞咩啊…」我抱怨,突然想起剛才的「夢」,「Shit…我唔係變左條蟲掛?」258Please respect copyright.PENANAQ6x5oHMqDE
258Please respect copyright.PENANAxmSINQ8tD4
腦內第一時間出現的是卡夫卡《變形記》入面的蟲,然後是自己被家人嫌棄,最後鬱鬱以終的畫面。卡夫卡書內記錄的是主角變成甲蟲的故事,而我現在聯想到的是自己變成精蟲…突然覺得很嘔心的打了一個冷震。258Please respect copyright.PENANAVmYdTdvwCn
258Please respect copyright.PENANActwFHLM8XC
「如果係精蟲應該唔識得打冷震…」我自言自語說。到底為什麼我會知道精蟲不懂得打冷震?258Please respect copyright.PENANAIPlQFUH7Jl
258Please respect copyright.PENANAInof6bteiF
我用力的嘗試跳躍,勉強碰得了門把。我對於自己躍跳的強度感到有點意外:我的身高變得這麼矮小,可以達到的跳躍幅度居然是自己高度的兩三倍。258Please respect copyright.PENANATShK6ZDHHu
258Please respect copyright.PENANA5CPqw6VOoI
「莫非貓神為咗我可以得到女神嘅歡心,將我變成NBA籃球員?」258Please respect copyright.PENANAzMe6rsTovP
258Please respect copyright.PENANA2oi51jaA0L
可是籃球是中學生的玩意啊。而且長得這麼小,連門也開不了,跳得高有屁用…258Please respect copyright.PENANAh1VoZlr5u7
258Please respect copyright.PENANArgvpw53PIv
今天可是平安夜啊,我自己一個困在房間裡,怎麼跟女神回家啊,貓神你騙我啊?願望沒有成真呢!258Please respect copyright.PENANAcZsPrbwu99
對了…我的願望是,聖誕節,跟女神回家,同居,保持我作為男人的特長…258Please respect copyright.PENANA5ogyX3Bc7N
258Please respect copyright.PENANAS1iskBIqMN
我稍為望一下自己的下半身,還好JJ還在…258Please respect copyright.PENANABmGGBfrHKE
258Please respect copyright.PENANAI6L8UX7xsR
…258Please respect copyright.PENANA7cqrF2Nmjs
258Please respect copyright.PENANAOP7c0R2O6A
「哇屌!點解我全身都係毛!!!」我大叫。258Please respect copyright.PENANAZ2qwFaE6b1
258Please respect copyright.PENANAkVwuLtCBky
「仆街!!!啊!!!咩事啊!!!」258Please respect copyright.PENANAeNDEhIlMr1
258Please respect copyright.PENANAKnob1wHID8
我一邊慘叫,一邊聽到娘親在房門外逐漸走近的腳步聲。258Please respect copyright.PENANAKgr8eXv0lb
258Please respect copyright.PENANAsHUvrlhu9V
「仔啊仔,因乜解究有貓喵喵叫啊?」娘親敲門問。258Please respect copyright.PENANApsfv2tEzby
258Please respect copyright.PENANAV8gELjylFV
「啊!屌,唔好入嚟啊!鎖左門嫁!」聽起來像我在看完AV穿褲子般,然後我想起原來她不進來,我也開不了門。「啊,老母,你都係入嚟啦下!」258Please respect copyright.PENANAnUeIKnvJr0
258Please respect copyright.PENANAi2ojs3UIVx
「我入嚟啦下。仔啊仔,講左幾多次唔准養貓啊,養大你一個都難啦,你養左返嚟又唔好好照顧,最後未又係阿媽養。唉,你唔好話我唔尊重你私隱,我問左幾次先入嚟嫁…」258Please respect copyright.PENANAMz1RtwatQ3
258Please respect copyright.PENANABxE6VWbPFj
話音未落,便聽到扭鎖匙的聲音。我明明把後備的兩條房門匙都丟到街坊去…258Please respect copyright.PENANAQpK1i0SgGf
258Please respect copyright.PENANAqiBF7Zv6W1
我用貓一樣的速度鑽回被窩。嗯,對了,我好像真的變成了貓。258Please respect copyright.PENANATvlyv0uy5M
「奇怪…明明聽到貓貓起勢咁叫。講明先啊,阿日你個衰仔,我仲未接受到養貓嫁…你連自己都未照顧好啊,養左隻寵物又一闊三大,你仲未出嚟做嘢,而家大學畢業都搵唔到好工,更何況你讀緊Asso,唔係咁容易啊。」258Please respect copyright.PENANA4fbsgjmYBj
258Please respect copyright.PENANAPCiX74XePs
救命…為甚麼變了貓還能聽得到娘親的嘮叨?258Please respect copyright.PENANAC74OnShWFo
258Please respect copyright.PENANAX0fkapCgiN
「…」258Please respect copyright.PENANAXkSbzXCCFu
258Please respect copyright.PENANAceRMK5DNfL
嗯?為甚麼突然之間又變得安靜了?258Please respect copyright.PENANABA53S3lRGx
258Please respect copyright.PENANA3536rjQ4KW
「嘩!!!」娘親突然用力揭開被窩。258Please respect copyright.PENANAyGAYkeHcMp
258Please respect copyright.PENANADBghhiH8c7
「嘩!!!」我驚叫。258Please respect copyright.PENANAWzFzRX1XU5
258Please respect copyright.PENANASThidVvC1p
「阿日爸爸,快啲上嚟睇吓,乖仔養左隻黑貓,好得意啊!!!」她高呼,然後伸手想要抱我。258Please respect copyright.PENANAeawCe3paGf
258Please respect copyright.PENANAHfelarQ617
「唔好啊阿媽!」我越過她,狂奔至房外,但家中大門緊鎖,我無處可逃。258Please respect copyright.PENANAi59xHH6xiY
父親在大廳裏看TVB的新聞,像精神分裂一樣碎碎唸。258Please respect copyright.PENANAu1Rq9tCI4C
258Please respect copyright.PENANAMKPlmh9OMa
「唉政府真係冇得救,到而家都仲未開關,搞咗兩年,唉頂,一日都係班死廢青,阿叔後生多20年真係打死晒佢哋。全部都好似房嗰條友咁樣冇得救。」258Please respect copyright.PENANACVowUawjK0
258Please respect copyright.PENANAGqzenvS9Sx
他自言自語,完全沒有理會我媽的呼喚,以及其他我引起的一切騷動。有時真的很佩服他驚人的專注力,感覺除了我和娘親的所有事情,都可以令他非常集中。258Please respect copyright.PENANACWQzes6ytj
258Please respect copyright.PENANAAcFXk7zmMB
「阿日爸爸,快啲幫手呀,日仔隻黑貓周圍走啊,唔知會唔會周圍瀨屎㗎,不過衰仔果然好眼光,帶返嚟隻貓咁得意,如果第時新抱仔都係咁靚女就好啦。」258Please respect copyright.PENANArIDVDOVfu8
258Please respect copyright.PENANAMG5IjsdiM2
媽,承你貴言阿,我變回人馬上找個老婆,最好是敏青,你一定滿意。還有就是,雖然我變成貓,我可不是弱智的,不會胡亂大小二便。258Please respect copyright.PENANAVuAhAmkqjs
258Please respect copyright.PENANAVd0dLiI4vM
大門的方向不對,我回頭一看,電視櫃旁邊的窗沒有關,我一枝箭的直奔,跳上電視,再跳上窗台。只差一步!258Please respect copyright.PENANA6GiT47ub3s
對了,忘記介紹,我家是位於元朗小區的一層平房,即使從窗外跳出也不會跌死。以前對於這一點非常討厭,因為蛇蟲鼠蟻好像都可以輕易進來,現在卻覺得非常慶幸。258Please respect copyright.PENANAy6MvG2Xy0d
258Please respect copyright.PENANAid8fjZq2L2
我順利從窗口跳到屋外,頭也不回的向前直跑,直至轉角再轉頭的那條窄巷小徑。258Please respect copyright.PENANApoHd3dV74o
258Please respect copyright.PENANAmhBA9BGwAt
好了,現在他們應該找我不到。258Please respect copyright.PENANAGAYSoykvn6
258Please respect copyright.PENANARxrwYZLOcQ
救命,告訴我,其實我在發夢對吧。我用右手手掌用力拍一拍自己的臉。258Please respect copyright.PENANADPSvgxra6u
258Please respect copyright.PENANA5XSe50zdeG
「屌,好痛。」原來被肉球打是這麼痛的一件事。對了,之前從來也沒有成功摸過肉球一次,連跟貓貓親密接觸的機會也很少。258Please respect copyright.PENANAzTxACUVW6z
258Please respect copyright.PENANANivTFl9dBn
我躺在地上,拉長身體,伸手用右手輕輕揉着左手手心的肉球。258Please respect copyright.PENANAUGa8ZaNJb3
258Please respect copyright.PENANANIS2YkkHtC
「啊…好舒服啊。喵…」那種感覺舒服得讓我顫抖震動着。我感嘆。258Please respect copyright.PENANAia2Zfw1aOX
258Please respect copyright.PENANA3OxMM4jn3y
完全進入忘我狀態。258Please respect copyright.PENANAAXtaOhmcdA
「爸爸、爸爸,你睇吓嗰隻貓幾得意,自己摸自己摸到瞌埋眼!好想摸吓佢啊…」一個拖著父親的女孩指着我說。258Please respect copyright.PENANAV0JzAfG0qR
258Please respect copyright.PENANA5nEstFXwM3
「唔好摸街貓啊,好污糟㗎,好多蝨。」那個父親一邊玩手機一邊說,根本沒有望過我的這一面。258Please respect copyright.PENANAsXAKL6kKVL
258Please respect copyright.PENANAFOpR789Jku
「嗱,指還指,你咪行過嚟!」我大叫。258Please respect copyright.PENANAKWatGZH565
258Please respect copyright.PENANAOUjsACRcGm
「嘩!好惡啊!!」屁孩尖叫,鬆開父親的手,然後跑走。258Please respect copyright.PENANAMsn2MCIHpI
258Please respect copyright.PENANAyhwHZ9mlxt
自我陶醉的時間被打斷實在太可惡。258Please respect copyright.PENANApVX1GHJE06
258Please respect copyright.PENANAvmsEQfOHXD
算了,讓我先整理一下目前的狀況吧。258Please respect copyright.PENANALYpANLAIgK
258Please respect copyright.PENANA80MnEqVXyO
首先,我在非常真實的夢境入面遇見那隻貓神,他用權杖和低沉的聲音念咒語,將我在現實中變成一隻黑貓。258Please respect copyright.PENANACcsTApc3cU
258Please respect copyright.PENANA9vPzN0Lh1k
然後,現實的人,包括我的父親母親,好像都聽不懂我說的話,我可以假設我現在說的是貓語。至於我是否擁有和其他貓咪溝通的能力,還有待驗證。258Please respect copyright.PENANADe23SEEbjK
258Please respect copyright.PENANAR4zMOD3yk9
最後,我的確還是男生,只是已經不是人類…即使願望能夠達成,也是貓雄無用武之地啊…可惡的貓神!對了,牠說我還有兩個願望。258Please respect copyright.PENANAp1y8MLhc01
258Please respect copyright.PENANAk3Le3nCQBT
「貓貓貓貓貓貓,幫我變返做人類!」我嘗試念着咒語。258Please respect copyright.PENANA9Ljx5JhUDw
258Please respect copyright.PENANAOR18FWsG4Y
可是好像一點用途都沒有。258Please respect copyright.PENANADxOlaswqWq
天啊。258Please respect copyright.PENANAaqbjX4NyVB
258Please respect copyright.PENANAsQs4nq3vvC
天氣好冷,這天可是平安夜,非但沒有如願以償,還流落街頭,有家歸不得。連陪伴了我20年的左手也變成了肉球。258Please respect copyright.PENANAhNo2C2Ylhn
258Please respect copyright.PENANAzvaPD3kqMM
我慢步走到家附近的停車場,平常五分鐘的路程,現在好像花了我半小時,手腳還是處於有點不協調的狀態。258Please respect copyright.PENANATjfy1gMliB
258Please respect copyright.PENANAfEy1HTYYUl
我在車場裏搜索,千辛萬苦找到一輛Benz。258Please respect copyright.PENANA3lXvBfcuf8
258Please respect copyright.PENANAThNQFTNH2a
「平時冇錢坐歐洲車,做貓享受下。」258Please respect copyright.PENANAINaxH0wy2a
258Please respect copyright.PENANAWV6bCrY6qN
我走到Benz的車底,向上探頭,想找個地方取暖。車子看起來一直停泊在停車場入面,鋪滿塵埃,算是一個比較安全的選擇。258Please respect copyright.PENANAUgb0sfp8Pz
258Please respect copyright.PENANAIuhC4xihL4
「邊個俾你入嚟?」突然在Benz車底的位置,有三、四對青黃色的眼睛瞪着我。其中一隻用低沉的語氣說。258Please respect copyright.PENANA7m4B1Los2E
258Please respect copyright.PENANAIjmJeTJuuu
「吓,我經過咋喎?」我狡辯。不知道為什麼會用狡辯這個詞語,感覺我好像做錯事似的。258Please respect copyright.PENANAyHgbU9pfAE
258Please respect copyright.PENANAK5ROB1GcZr
「呢個停車場淨係比有貢獻嘅貓入嚟,你過主啦。」剛才的聲音變得更低沉。為什麼貓咪都要壓低聲音說話?貓神如是,這些貓也是。258Please respect copyright.PENANAmezlSMBYDa
258Please respect copyright.PENANAAtqz2qXRwW
「要點樣貢獻?」我問。258Please respect copyright.PENANAGM0SlQ2TDA
258Please respect copyright.PENANAzAHBdr0knE
「幫阿公做嘢都要教,你新嚟㗎?」一隻虎斑貓從車底跳下來,牠是剛才開口的那隻貓。258Please respect copyright.PENANARdrMopgcgj
258Please respect copyright.PENANAhe1ILsDutd
「我係真係新嚟嫁…你有見過我咩?」我反問。258Please respect copyright.PENANAMw0yu5sZ50
258Please respect copyright.PENANAD9rFGXfcNu
「𡃁仔,你依家係咪咁串呀?」258Please respect copyright.PENANAUeyyaWPguL
258Please respect copyright.PENANAPyEtaWUpws
「見你黑媽媽咁樣,知咩事啦?」另一隻白貓亦從Benz的車底跳下。還有幾隻唐貓跟着在其他車底突然出現。258Please respect copyright.PENANArs4hLoYTYh
258Please respect copyright.PENANAgZDXWhTIwR
「話就話呢度元朗姐大佬,貓都有鄉黑?」我被逼往後退,幾隻社團貓向我步步進迫。258Please respect copyright.PENANAsn9dDkmgho
258Please respect copyright.PENANAIsqr4R55nM
「啪、啪、啪」突然聽到金屬敲打的聲音。258Please respect copyright.PENANAhXUwQWy5W9
258Please respect copyright.PENANAsbyGWIU7mx
「喵!!」所有本來快要把我團團圍住的社團貓突然散開,然後跑向停車場收費亭的那邊。258Please respect copyright.PENANAszvqi2PjId
258Please respect copyright.PENANADGTGiah53i
「你班衰貓又打交,唔好成日搞搞震啦。」停車場管理員大叔一路從收費亭走出來,一路用匙羹敲打手上的幾個罐罐。258Please respect copyright.PENANANFi16lyS92
258Please respect copyright.PENANAIYnRsD8bt7
「喵!喵!喵!」群貓圍著大叔和他的罐頭。我則趁機會從另一邊溜走。逃跑的時候,還聞到罐頭的香氣撲鼻。258Please respect copyright.PENANAlJyvNJV8yB
258Please respect copyright.PENANAMI5UeCk6aB
是淡淡的吞拿魚清香…嗚嗚,如果可以加入那個貓社團就好。真的好冷好肚餓呀。雖然過程不太順利,總算證實了自己能夠和其他貓貓溝通。258Please respect copyright.PENANAAxdG7suTGq
258Please respect copyright.PENANAJckMCuLkYl
我從停車場的不遠處,看到一個紙箱。我本能意識的爬了進去。258Please respect copyright.PENANAp0gGUyWBxP
258Please respect copyright.PENANA4S6j3xHRdc
「呢度好暖好舒服啊…」我陶醉的躺在紙箱內,然後眼前的紙皮逐漸變得模糊起來。258Please respect copyright.PENANAVCDxPHfvbe
我在夢中沒有見到貓神,但就變回了人類,和敏青坦白了自己的愛意,她緊抱著我,然後與我激烈的擁吻著。258Please respect copyright.PENANAk93hVqW8Xi
258Please respect copyright.PENANA7iOmpmO68q
突然在夢中,我感受到身體有人輕輕的撫摸着我,是無比溫暖的手。我拖着疲倦而且寒冷的身軀,努力睜開自己雙眼。258Please respect copyright.PENANAEPVfaETpWL
258Please respect copyright.PENANAaHR0fMaG2w
是妳嗎,敏青?貓神你不要騙我。258Please respect copyright.PENANAvSwkTbWTuF
258Please respect copyright.PENANALnK9Sgh6I2
「好得意呀佢。」是敏青輕柔的聲線,別說變成貓,就算我變成甲蟲都應該不會搞錯啊。258Please respect copyright.PENANAbwIV4gvf02
258Please respect copyright.PENANAbWsoax9BQC
「係啊B…佢仲好暖。」另一把聲令我發抖,明明是一個大男人,卻升高聲線用BB聲說話。他用手摸著我的背。258Please respect copyright.PENANABs5VVfSntF
258Please respect copyright.PENANA2wv7ETOYCf
「你再扮女人,我一定打撚死你!」我大叫,然後想要咬他,可是他手縮得很快。哼,膽小鬼。258Please respect copyright.PENANAlc7MYGnkuL
258Please respect copyright.PENANACOI1X61qh6
「嘩,佢好惡啊B!」街燈照射到他的樣子。天啊,敏青的男朋友是一個面目可憎的MK仔。258Please respect copyright.PENANArpzrlQdc23
258Please respect copyright.PENANAsB86QxwYGg
「你溫柔啲啦,佢可能驚啊!」敏青輕輕打一下MK仔的手。258Please respect copyright.PENANAhFoEG8pz47
258Please respect copyright.PENANAjMfOuzZhJb
「我淨係對你溫柔㗎咋B。」他嘔心的說。258Please respect copyright.PENANAFnlbcwr50C
258Please respect copyright.PENANA2ysDnRNCxk
「阿明,今晚好凍呀,而且又係平安夜,唔知佢捱唔捱得過,不如帶佢返屋企咯?」敏青對MK仔男朋友說。原來這傢伙叫阿明,名字都特別醜。258Please respect copyright.PENANAdTZKfd1M5e
258Please respect copyright.PENANAn4J4rRS9QZ
「我哋唔係講好咗話養狗咩,而且你都冇問過屋企人。」MK仔有點猶豫說。258Please respect copyright.PENANAxUSkwjZRQW
258Please respect copyright.PENANAYH3pIeKbIE
「但係佢好慘呀!如果過幾日出嚟見到佢條屍嘅話我一定會好唔安樂。」258Please respect copyright.PENANArUUhaDhhMC
258Please respect copyright.PENANAG0e0Zflbtw
對了,這個年頭的人都是變態的,野豬都能夠亂殺,更何況街貓。快點帶我回家吧!258Please respect copyright.PENANA3E5nHhyzqy
「不過…」258Please respect copyright.PENANAtOqNO0F1Ke
258Please respect copyright.PENANA3XQ3rQWQ22
「唔好不過啦!我屋企咋嘛,又唔係你屋企!」258Please respect copyright.PENANAa1Qf8vrqoM
258Please respect copyright.PENANADn0ifLZs4S
「你屋企咪即係我屋企囉。」他又用BB聲,求求你快點滾開吧。258Please respect copyright.PENANAvISQKuRTNt
258Please respect copyright.PENANAgVVY540o98
「咁你咁錫我!一定會支持我㗎B!」敏青撒嬌地說,我聽到自己心碎的聲音。258Please respect copyright.PENANAwA85q4wkg5
258Please respect copyright.PENANAJng8Zjt9pU
「好啦好啦。咁今晚平安夜,我哋一齊返屋企啦。」MK仔終於說出自己最大的心願。258Please respect copyright.PENANAXPWHRSnL3d
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「你呀,同我同貓貓返咗屋企之後,乖乖返自己屋企啊!不可以色色!」敏青說,我露出勝利的眼神望著MK。258Please respect copyright.PENANAMPRSKrwRlq
258Please respect copyright.PENANAhVKRCCVsVG
「嗯~又唔俾我~」MK又再撒嬌,我毛管棟得要命。258Please respect copyright.PENANAE0tPPFFqwH
258Please respect copyright.PENANAtpwK7S5bKB
「係喎,唔知佢係男仔定女仔黎呢?」敏青嘗試轉移話題。女神果然是玉潔冰清的!258Please respect copyright.PENANA1MVU6cYbNm
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「等我睇吓先!」叫做阿明的MK作勢想要抱我。258Please respect copyright.PENANA3aeEgGa0Lw
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「救命啊!!」我嘗試掙扎,無奈我對於爪的操控能力還是非常欠佳。258Please respect copyright.PENANANj6R1xPRBl
258Please respect copyright.PENANAKSO3qyXnZi
「應該係女仔黎,你睇吓,冇姑姑㗎。」阿明指著我的下體說。258Please respect copyright.PENANAeJS5Bu4R5Z
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「你盲㗎?咁大條你都睇唔到?」258Please respect copyright.PENANALwUGZJ3vKM
258Please respect copyright.PENANAftQRhYZxFS
敏青把臉哄過來我的下身,仔細觀察着我的下體。雖然隔着口罩和幾cm的距離,我卻能嗅到她的香氣和感覺到她呼氣的熱度。不知是因為女神真的很香還是我的嗅覺變得靈敏。258Please respect copyright.PENANAbQQWenF8xO
258Please respect copyright.PENANAJ6aV5y9pdU
「乞嗤!」每次女神靠得很近時,我總是忍不著打噴嚏,做人的時候是這樣,做貓如是。看來是心理作用大於生理反應。(有另外的生理反應便是了)258Please respect copyright.PENANAMgeG8PyDrH
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「係喎,真係冇喎。」她說。258Please respect copyright.PENANA74DaHVrdDE
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「…」被女神這樣一說,我真的非常無奈。258Please respect copyright.PENANAk1IeiVrRJP
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「好啦,就叫你做阿月啦靚女!今日開始你就係我嘅屋企人啦!」敏青抱起箱子,在男朋友的陪同下,將我帶回她的家。258Please respect copyright.PENANADSqQzNSc85
這一切都來得太突然以及太真實了。我抬頭望向天空,嘗試找出第二個月亮,這樣大概就能證明我還是在做夢。可是,第二個月亮並不存在,明月以外,除了星宿還是星宿。258Please respect copyright.PENANApMhIjUy2QK
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無論如何,從平安夜步入聖誕節的這一刻,我還是願望成真了。258Please respect copyright.PENANAxz3dfKAjWJ
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見步行步吧。258Please respect copyright.PENANALktWda3mJF