Ever since my first class ended, everything felt like a blur. My brain was running on auto as I went through the motions of everyday school life. As much as I desperately tried so hard to not think of the contract, vivid memories came back to that night. The memory was fresh with every detail still engraved from the moment I walked on the bridge. The only thing I couldn’t remember were the last few seconds before everything turned dark. I didn’t want to dwell on that particular moment because the most critical part was what Fred was saying in the background of all the chanting. I couldn’t help but internally groan trying to wrap around everything he was saying. Fred talked a lot during that time-that part I remembered clearly.
Like Helen described, Fred was giving out random percentages of the amount of control I would have on the contract, but at some point he gave up. I remembered Fred shouted something else during the ordeal but I couldn’t hear him. Did he say something else? Fred gave me 100% control of the contract so therefor he couldn’t possess me or was there more to it? What sacrifice did I make for him to even seal the deal? An answer had been picking at my brain since Helen answered my question but I couldn’t believe it. I won’t.
It is not possible for me to have traded-
“Hey! It’s time for lunch! We gotta hurry before the line gets long.” Jenna said quickly shoving her textbooks in her bag. She has been glowing with excitement since the announcement and it was clear she wanted to find someone else to be joyful with her. I couldn’t be that person even if I attempted to fake it out for her.
“Sorry, Jenna. I’m actually not feeling good. You can go on without me. ” I said finding myself thinking at first was a lie, but might actually be true.
My stomach was churning and my chest felt tight again, realizing Fred had not spoken once since Helen’s class. The inside of my body felt cold as a painful memory of Headmaster John’s sharp words seeped into my thoughts ‘Your mother was burned alive’.
“Oh, I’m so sorry! Are you nervous about the assignment?” She asked her expression showing concern but a hint of disappointment could be traced in her voice. She was probably thinking I was trying to back out on the assignment since I wasn’t as pumped like the rest of the students who were grouped with us. I couldn’t focus on the assignment, not with this burden weighing down on me like a pound of bricks.
“It’s not that.” I shook my head. I honestly could care less about the assignment. What I wanted was to talk to Fred alone. “I had a stomach bug since this morning. Can you let Sammy tell the rest of the teachers I won’t be in. I’m going to find the school nurse if they can give me anything.” I said trying to portray my fake smile.
“Alright well, I’m coming to check in on you after class. The nurse is down the hall.” She declared not giving me the option to decline.
“Sounds good to me.” I said holding in a deep sigh as I tried not to appear inconsiderate in her sincere gesture. I’m still not used to having a friend or even a companion for that matter. I wasn’t sure if I’m the kind of person who was meant to have friends as I felt myself growing more exhausted with the conversation.
Jenna left the classroom with the rest of the students who hurried for lunch. I took my time exiting as I made my way to the dormitory. The palms of my hands were beginning to sweat with my heart rapidly beating against my chest with each step.
‘Fred!’ I thought loudly figuring he had to be listening in some form. I didn’t get a response from him for the first time in a while. Searching anxiously at every corner in the hall for a dark shadow with beaming red eyes, I couldn’t find Fred anywhere. His absence only created a larger ball of anxiety in the pit of my stomach. Why wasn’t he answering?
The only place he could possibly be was in my dorm room. If he wasn’t in my room, I knew he would eventually show himself at some point. Fred was a notorious chatter box and keeping himself quiet was not a trait he possessed.
Once I entered my room and closed the door that I so desperately wanted to slam, I found the demonic soul eater, Fred, sitting on the edge of my desk swinging his legs like a child. The room was dark with with only a crack of light escaping through the curtain. He must have covered the window again knowing how much I disliked the dark.
“What the fuck did you do?” I sneered my fear quickly subsiding and pure rage had taken its place.
“Me? Why do humans always blame the demons when they are the ones calling us?” Fred replied with a question, deflecting the conversation with a chill and monotone tone.
“What did you get out of the contract” I questioned feeling my nails digging into my palms.
“I’m not sure what you mean. You have 100% control of the contract we made.” Fred answered deciding to play dumb instead.
“Fred, you gave up rights in the contract but you had to get something in return for it to be made. What did you get?” I repeated again, despising his carefree demeanor.
Fred crossed his ghostly leg over his knee while his slim nails drummed against the desk. “Mikeala, you agreed to the terms regardless of what was sacrificed.” Fred’s red eyes narrowed darkly at me. The room suddenly felt much smaller as his black shadow grew larger creating a thickening in the air that felt almost suffocating.
“Fred what did you get!” My voice growing louder and frustrated with his beating around the bush attitude.
“And here I thought you were paying attention in class. You really aren’t a good student, are you.” Fred exasperated tilting his shadowed figure to the side appearing to find the conversation tedious. “There’s only one thing a soul eater could possibly want. Have you figured it out yet, Hannah Baker?”
“A soul-whose soul did you take?” I breathed acknowledging the fact that I was talking to a predator and not a spirit guide. Fred was a monster who feasted on tormented and pure souls for his enjoyment alone.
There was a long silence coming from Fred and my chest felt heavier with each second. He was leaching on the pain I was feeling and wanted to soak it in for as long as possible.
“Fred-” I started to find my voice again but was quickly cut down by his cold and insidious response. “You already know the answer but if you need a hint, the soul I devoured was burning.”
My body immediately went numbed, as if every organ had stopped working. Everything felt like it was falling apart in front of me. I made a deal with the devil, and it costed someone dear to me. Immediately my thoughts dismissed it. It wasn’t possible for me to have traded her. It didn’t make sense to me or maybe I didn’t care to listen either.
“I wouldn’t have done it…” I choked my tears finally escaping. “ I couldn’t have done it. She was already dead when I left the house…” My breath and voice trembled with dread that I may have sacrificed the one person I loved the most in this world. The person who loved me before I was even born, gave me life, and I may have been the one who damned her.
Fred’s sharp nails drummed louder against the desk, as if he was growing irritated by each tear that dropped to the floor. “Why does this even matter, Mikaela! The sacrifice was made, point-blank. Do you really want me to go into detail on how I ate her soul or would you rather me describe how she screamed?”
I felt myself sinking to the floor as my back traced down the wooden door. For a brief moment, I forgot how to breathe and panic swept over me. What have I done? Why did this have to happen to me?
“Please, Fred, just take my soul.”
ns 15.158.61.12da2
