We ended up at some farm in the middle of nowhere. It had a huge wooden wall so no one could look in. There was a fence inside the wall. I guessed that this was so no one could get out. There was a small farm cottage and containers all over the place. I could see girls walk around, but quickly could see that they were boys dressed as girls. The whole place looked like a concentration camp.
Amir told me that this would be my new home. The other boys were just like me. They were whores and dancers that lived and worked here. They lived in the container rooms, and men visited them in these things. I was to keep my room tidy and I could expect a client at any time of the day. I could also expect more than one client a day. Besides my clients, there was a secret men's club in which I was expected to dance. There was also a studio in which they made films. I would be very busy, and this meant that I was not allowed to leave the farm. I would have no school.
Amir also told me that I would not be missed. Everyone would think that I have run away and they would give up looking for me after a while. This was my new life and the sooner I accepted it and did what was demanded, the happier I would be. I was told that I was trained for this. I was submissive enough to accept my destiny and this is what Allah wanted.
I was shown my container room. It was simple with a bed and a side table and a makeup table. There was also a wardrobe with girls' clothes. Amir left me there and I sat on the bed. My mind was racing with so many thoughts. How did I suddenly allow myself to end up here? How could a place like this even be allowed? Was the police blind? I suppose the farm was in the middle of nowhere. Not many people could find it. It could be that they thought we were just gay boys and this is what we deserved.
I walked around the farm. I found out that 14 boys lived here. They were all sex workers and about my age. All the boys were feminine and could be mistaken for girls. Some boys would be walking in their container room with a man. I knew what this meant. They were being pimped out. The strange thing about the boys was that I noticed they were not smiling and looked like zombies. I knew that some of them must have been drugged. I wonder if each boy was groomed like I was. It made me sad that I was not the only boy in this dark hidden hell. Other boys had the same experience as me.
I sat outside my container room and looked up at the sky. I thought about Abbie. She would think that I have run away. She would also think that I deserted her. Tears came to my eyes as I thought that my sister was alone. There was no one to help her or protect her. The worse thing is what she now thought of me. Would she be mad at me for abandoning her? This worried me so much.
A boy sat down next to me. He also had long hair and was wearing pink denim shorts and a crop top with a unicorn on it. He had girl sandals and frilly socks. I was now wearing a summer dress, so we looked like two girls. His name was Andrew. He started talking to me. This was the first time that a boy spoke to me and was being nice. I think that we spoke to each other for a long time. Then this guard came and told Andrew that he had a client.
I found out that life at the farm was busy. I would be asked to dance in the club while men clapped at me and wanted me to slowly strip and be sexual on the stage. I honestly did not mind the dancing. After doing it so many times, I knew how to move my body so that men were excited. I was told that I was one of the best dancers. I suppose this was not that hard, as half the boys were always spaced out.
Otherwise, I had one man after another come into my container room. As usual, it was sex and just men wanting to use my body in every sexual way. The men did not have any respect or feelings for me. It was as if they did not even consider that I was a human. To them, I was just a whore and my purpose was to give them a good time, after all, they did pay for it. They did not care that I was nothing more than a sex slave.. they most likely thought I was just another gay boy that deserved this kind of life. The routine of men coming into my room became more and more frequent. I was now an expert at blocking any feelings I had and did not even try to rush things. I knew when this man left, I would have to clean any evidence they left on me, and wait for the next man to come.
We also did films and pictures. This was a bit more humiliating and embarrassing. I knew that this porn would be seen all over the world. It would be on the internet. The pictures would be shared and distributed and they would never disappear. It was hard being filmed because I could not stop thinking about the thousands that would be seeing it. Even when we filmed, there were men in the room that were looking. The films had a storyline, but it always ended with me stripping and having sex in every possible way. Sometimes it was with men and sometimes it was with the other boys. Sometimes they were gentle but at times they could be very rough.
One of the films I have done was with Andrew. I must admit that this was not a bad experience. I managed to lock all my thoughts out of my head and concentrate on Andrew. It was different from all other times because he was a friend. I thought that he was cute and I did have special feelings for him. Maybe this confirmed the fact that I was gay. Andrew was my first real friend in my life. He treated me nice and listened to me. He was the reason that my life was not a total hell here on the farm.
We loved each other. This was something that the Amir or the men who ran the farm did not know about. This was something that the men who paid money to abuse us did not know about. I should have felt sorry that any man would be so lonely or so perverse that they had to pay for sex. It was sad that they could not find love. There was no excuse that they would have sex with 13-year-olds. There was no excuse that we were prisoners here as sex slaves. The saddest thing is that we were not the first to be groomed for this, and I doubted that we would be the last.
Whatever self-esteem I had was eroded. I had no soul and at times I felt like I had no spirit. It seemed as if my life was concentrated on being a prostitute and pleasing men. It was my friendship with Andrew that kept me from going insane. We met when we could and talked about normal things. Andrew made me smile and he kept me from being a zombie. Andrew reminded me that we were not meant to be here. We were not meant to be prostitutes or porn stars. It was wrong that we were here. We were being used and abused. Andrew would hug me and warn me that we had to remember who we were and that there was always hope.
One man visited me a lot. He was a businessman. He treated me very well. I think he was my favourite because it was not just about sex. He wanted to hear about Abbie or when I sang in the choir. He felt sorry that I was at the farm. He knew it was nothing that I chose. The businessman still had sex with me, but he was very gentle. According to him, it was not sex, it was making love. I was not in love with this man, despite that he claimed that he was in love with me. I figured that if he was in love with me and have feelings for me, he would not want to have sex. He would also let me decide if I wanted it or not.
There was once when a man was very rough. He called me every bad name that he could. He raped me and tried to choke me. In the end, he beat me up. I started screaming and begging for someone to come and save me. This did not help. He continued hitting, pushing me and kicking me. I never felt so much pain in my life as I did then. In the end, I was sure that I was going to die. Everything went black.
I was confined to bed for weeks. I am sure that I broke some ribs. My injuries should have been treated at a hospital, but this of course could not happen. Amir visited me and was just worried about when and if I could start to work again. He never apologised for letting a psycho visit me. Recovering was just as bad as the beating. The pain was unbearable at times. I could hardly breathe at times. Andrew visited me and was very bad at hiding how afraid he was. We both knew, that my life was in danger if I did not fully captive. These evil men would not keep me if I could not earn my keep.
I missed Abbie so much. I still wondered if she was mad at me and thought I abandoned her. Did she still live with mom or was she at a Child's home? It even occurred that Amir or someone else was grooming Abbie to be the same as me. Thinking of this could give me anxiety attacks.
I did recover and I started earning my keep once again. Shortly after I recovered, Andrew disappeared. I thought that something bad happened to him. I remembered how people in my past were hurt and murdered. I felt like there was a huge hole in my heart when Andrew went missing. The fear of what happened to him was the worse.
It was not until that some guards took me to a dark room and asked me what I knew of Andrews's disappearance. Did I help him escape and did I know where he was? I tried not to show it, but I was delighted. Andrew escaped and no longer had to live this way. He was free! This showed me that there was hope! The guards believed that I must have known something, as I was Andrew's best friend. They locked me in a cold and wet cell in the basement for days where I had nothing to eat. It was so scary and cold down there, especially when I saw rats. They finally believed me and let me get back to my normal life as their sex slave.
The nice man never did help me get out of the farm? Why should he? He could abuse me when he wanted. I felt so lonely. I missed Abbie and Andrew and wondered if I would ever see them again.
My birthday came. I was now 14. A lot has happened in one year. It was depressing to see where my life ended up. I was now a prostitute and a sex slave. There was no birthday cake or anyone that even wished me a happy birthday. I looked up at the stars and wished that things were going well for Abbie and Andrew.
A week after my birthday, something big happened. Police cars and trucks stormed the farm and police swarmed the place. We were each led out to the centre. The boys stood together while Amir and the other men were forced onto their knees.
One policewoman told the boys and me to be calm. She said we were being rescued.
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