The priest opened the door and let us in. We were led to a bedroom and told that we would speak in the morning. I would have to share a bedroom with Abbie at the start. There was a curtain that divided the room, so we had our privacy. We were also told that we could lock the door. The priest wanted us to feel safe. I was once again in a new place and quickly locked the door. Abbie slept very quickly. I was in my bed and stared at the ceiling. For the first time in a long time, I felt safe. It was a strange feeling that I knew I would not get any visit as the door was locked. I did not believe that I was safe. I was convinced that something would happen to me. The waiting was the worse.
The next day the priest wanted to speak with me. I told him the whole story about Amir and then the abuse by David. I admitted that I also visited the park and met men there that would pay me. I expected the priest to say everything was my fault and that I deserved what I experienced. He did not say a lot as I told him my story. He did not even look shocked.
Finally, the priest spoke and told me that he had to do paperwork so Abbie and I could live here. He would have to tell the police about David. Then he told me that I was an injured soul and experienced hell. The safehouse would be safe. It had many rules like I was not allowed to leave unless I had permission and I had to try my best at school. These rules were to give me a healthy structure. He explained that I had a long road to recovery. In time he hoped that I would trust him and the other staff at the home. Until then, the home would be my family where I would not be molested or abused.
I met Andrew after I talked with the priest. Andrew praised the priest and promised me that I would like him. He was also so happy that I would now be living here. Andrew showed Abbie and me around the home. It looked like any other home. It looked cosy and not like an institution. I was just happy that I was with Andrew and Abbie and I was in a safe place. It was many days before I realized that I was also safe, and nothing bad would happen to me.
It was great being with Andrew again. His hair was now short, but I chose to keep my hair shoulder length. Andrew and I spent most of our time together, otherwise, I was with Abbie. We did things a normal teenager would do, like watching Netflix and playing games. We never did talk about the farm. I did not want to, and I think that Andrew wanted to forget it. I was so happy. Now I had everything that I always wanted, a best friend!
I tried doing the normal stuff a teenager would do. I was way behind in school because I missed so much. Andrew and some others were quick to help me. I started to read a lot and I liked studying. The teachers were impressed at how quickly I learned. I felt so proud that my grades were slowly going up. This was a feeling that I was not used to.
The worse thing is the priest wanted to speak with me. He wanted to discuss the experiences I had with Amir and David. I was expected to express my feelings. This was something that I had no intention of doing. If I started to tell him what I felt, I would never stop. In a way, I wanted it all to be a bad memory. All I wanted was a normal life with Abbie and Andrew as my best friend. What good would it do to talk about all the things that happened to me? It would just bring back the pain and humiliation. Besides this, I did not trust the priest. I thought that he just wanted to get sexually excited by my experiences.
The other children knew about what happened to me. Some asked me if I was gay, while others asked me if I was a sissy. This did not bother them. I was not bullied for my experiences and how I looked. The other children at the home were nice and treated me like I was their brother. Andrew explained that we were not the only ones that had traumatic experiences. Each child at the home had a story to tell. Some were abused sexually or were constantly beaten up. Others were even kicked out of their homes. One of the good things about the home was that no one was judged and we supported and helped each other.
I knew I was gay. Who knows if I would have been gay if I never met Amir. The more time that went on, the more I knew I was gay. I had a huge crush on Andrew. I did not want to have sex with him as I had enough of that for two lifetimes. I just liked being with him. It was as if I was on a pink cloud with him. My heart would flutter when I was with him. We never did discuss it and I doubted if he had the same feelings. Andrew had no problems around girls. I was always shy around them.
My past did catch up to me. One day when I was allowed out, I met Raghib. He was the boy that pretended to be my friend and introduced me to Amir. I started to shake when he approached me. Raghib told me that Amir was in jail and he would be on trial soon. Then Raghib punched me in the eye and blamed me for that Amir was in jail. He threatened me not to testify against Amir, or I would have more than a black eye.
For the next few days, I was so afraid. I was worried about the threat from Raghib. My life was in danger. It was as if I could never escape Amir. All this meant that I could not sleep or rest. I was getting one anxiety attack after another. I was sure that I would end up being dragged into the world of prostitution again. All this gave me nightmares about snakepits and snakes crawling all over me. I would wake up shaking, have problems with breathing and in a panic, make sure the door was locked.
Abbie noticed this and asked me what the problem was. She cuddled with me on the bed. I told her everything that happened to me. She heard about Raghib and how Amir groomed me. She heard about the dancing and the pictures of me on the internet. She heard about how I ended up being a prostitute and what happened at the farm. I even told her what David did. I ended up telling her about Raghib's threat. Abbie was by now crying and I asked her does she hate me now? I just wanted to protect her. Abbie told me that I was the best brother and she would always love me.
My sister must have told the priest that Raghib threatened me. I was given the speech that I needed to be strong. He hoped that I felt safe and know that nothing bad would happen to me here. I was also told that healing was needed. My mind and soul needed to be healed. I experienced hell and it could not be forgotten. Recovery meant that I had to speak about it and he advised that testified against Amir and David. I made it certain that this was something I would not do!
I followed what was happening on the news. There was even a special documentary on the farm, which was described as a child sex ring, where children all over the country were groomed and trafficked to the farm. The boys were chosen because they were feminine and they all had problems. Each boy wanted some attention and someone to care for them. They described the men as Muslim men, that had no respect for Christians. Amir was even described as an evil man, that used boys as slaves to make him a lot of money.
Mom came to visit Abbie and me. She looked very healthy and happy. We were told that it has now been months since her last drink, and she was happy working at the supermarket. Abbie was delighted to see mom and to be honest so was I. We knew that we could not go home. Mom also knew this and asked us if she could visit every weekend. We were excited at this prospect. This was like mom was back in our lives, and she was acting like a mom. I knew that our mom loved us and it meant a lot that she wanted to visit us at weekends.
Raghib was sent to juvie and things became to be normal once again. I still did not talk about my experiences or my feelings. I just was a normal teenager doing normal things. I still had a crush on Andrew but did not think he liked me that way. Although I smiled and had fun with the other children at the home, there were still nightmares and small things could trigger flashbacks to my former life. Of course, no one knew this, as I never told anyone. I would just hide and wait until it all went away. Abbie knew when I was not feeling well and would hug me,
I did feel safe. I did not feel threatened and I started to believe that Amir had enough problems than hurting me. The other children were my friends and could see who I was and not concentrate on what I have done. For each day that went by, I was beginning to feel safer and more secure. I continued my studies and I spent my free time with Abbie and Andrew. I figured that I was as happy as I ever would be.
The priest asked me one day did I want to be in a choir. This was one of the best days of my life. The priest laughed when he asked me, as he said it was the first time he had seen a genuine smile on my face. I kissed the choir so much and it was great that I could once again be in a choir. I loved singing and it was as if I was slowly getting back to my old life.
Abbie could see that I was happier, but she also knew I had nightmares, anxiety attacks and flashbacks. She told me that she wanted to talk to me. Abbie was suddenly like an adult as she told me that I need to get help. I need to open up and work on the hell that I went through. She told me that I could trust the priest, and he had helped so many children here. If I did not get help, I would be plagued by what I experienced for the rest of my life. I promised that I would speak with the priest.
I did not speak with the priest for a while. I had a very good excuse. Andrew told me that he fancied me and asked could we be boyfriends. Of course, I said yes! This meant that I was now officially in love with someone.
I visited the priest. For a long time, we sat there and looked at each other. He told me to take my time. Then I broke down and burst out crying. It was as if months of abuse, mind breaking experiences, torture, threats and whatnot came out in tears. I did not know where to start. The priest gave me a hankie and told me we would take this one step at a time. So I started telling him how I met Raghib.
This was the first talk I had with the priest. We talked quite often after that. I started to open more and more. The priest told me that in time, I would not see myself as a victim. I would see myself as a survivor. In time, I would not blame myself for things, but know that it was Amir that groomed me and made me do things I did not want to do.
So you may ask where I am now. I am in a courtroom. The lawyer asked me to point at the man that groomed me for hell. I looked Amir in the eyes as I pointed at him. I would soon tell the courtroom the whole story.
I was finally free
The End
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