x
Louis' POV
I approached her as she poured the tea, letting it brew. She stared intently at what she was doing ignoring me completely. She was hiding something, her behavior got weird in seconds of me asking if I knew her.
I feel like I had. I just don't remember when, where, or how.
"You're creeping. Stop doing that."
Her voice sent chills to the bottom of my spin. I swallowed trying to come at this from a sober way.
I went to the side where she could see me. I couldn't stop looking at her, I had to know. It's almost like I need a small confirmation, anything to prove she came before all this fame.
Would it matter? Normalcy matters so yes it would. I looked at her staring at the steaming mugs of tea.
Her hands were leaning on the counter for support, her chest moving with her accelerated breathing. I reached over and gently moved some hair she was hiding behind so I can see her eyes. Deep, rich and hazelnut. Just like I remember, but from where?
"We've met before, did we?"
She sucked in her lip, popping it out in annoyance. I didn't know if she was aware that I could practically hear her heart beating against her chest.
She turned around, surprising me, "Doesn't matter, I don't live in the past anymore."
Her back faced me again. I couldn't handle it. I caught her arm gently, she stilled at the gesture so I eased and let go.
"Of course it matters love."
"No it doesn't." She whispered, turning her face.
"Do you want me to leave?"
Silence.
I thought I heard an inaudible "whatever" when she walked back to the couch. Her foot placed onto the pillow; she was adjusting it for comfort and began to unwrap the gauze around her foot. I came forward.
"You can't take that off." I placed my hands over hers, sitting next to her closely. She stiffened when I touched her. "I mean it. I did it once and my foot bruised even more."
She pulled back, I thought she was going to fight me but she sat back folding her arms across her chest, looking anywhere but me.
"How did we meet? I know we did." I tried to get her to look at me but nothing. She was adamant on avoiding the question.
I know I was prying and basically forcing her to answer me, like Harry did before. But, I couldn't help it; I was getting closer to affirmation now. I can feel it.
I let go of her hands and fixed the wrap on her foot, making sure not to dress it too tight. It could bruise that way too.
I was nearly finished when-
"You can leave it alone now."
"I'm not doing it too tight, it won't swell up don't worry."
"It's no need. You don't have to." She leaned over to me; I could feel her breath on my cheek.
"You say that too much. Stop being stubborn and let me help you."
She laughed incredulously. "Yeah…like you ever helped anyone but yourself."
I stopped immediately and stared hard at her. "What was that?"
"You heard me."
"I believe I heard lies."
She sighed oddly.
"You're acting nice but that's all, it's just an act. All you know is how to take from people. You had an easy ride and you know that."
"Huh? Nothing I ever did came easy. What are you talking about?"
She laughed again, that weird curt laugh she did in my car a few nights back.
"You know something don't you? Tell me already. Stop with the cryptic bull shit."
She sunk further inside the couch, shutting her eyes.
"Yeah we've met before. But it doesn't matter anymore." She grumbled.
"I think it does. Where? When?" I fired off at her.
She opened her eyes, looking directly at me. "Fame really has changed you."
"That isn't what I asked."
She huddled her shoulders, hugging them.
"Tell me your name at least."
Something. Anything. I'm on the edge of my seat here in questions. That was the one question I wanted answered.
She paused before speaking.
"Names are earned. I can't just tell you my name like that."
I sighed running my fingers through my hair in frustration.
"Alright…" I thought of this from another angle. I sure as fuck wasn't going to get anywhere with her, but I still tried.
"Tell me to go then." I challenged her.
I saw her eyes glass over, I couldn't watch this. I didn't know what I was supposed to do or why I was even here. I apologized and that should be it.
She tensed, her lips bunched like it was sown together. "I can't do that."
"Why not?" I pressed.
She grabbed the blanket pulling it over her body. I didn't notice she was shivering in all this. All I cared about were the answers.
"Because…" she looked at me as if she was checking if I was still there. "Fuck off, figure it out."
"I'd love it if you just tell me. I'm not playing a game here. I'm making it very simple. Tell me to leave and I'll leave."
She pulled the blanket tighter around her body blinking several times until she covered her whole body with it.
"Louis…you shouldn't have done anything for me. I don't need this right now."
I narrowed my eyes. This girl is full of secrets now and I wish I knew what to say to make her open up. It's enough I lost Charlotte, she'll probably never come back, but to strike out again, with somebody I barely know, I won't leave until I get something out of her. A real, direct answer. Something I rarely get being who I am.
"Why are you so afraid?"
She slipped down the blanket, looking at me with those big eyes. "Not afraid. Why do you think I'm afraid?"
I drew in a shaky breath, touching the back of my neck for the millionth time. "Just be straight with me then?"
She looked at me; the only thing I can think of was a scared little girl. She looked so fragile. "Its better you don't remember. Was so long ago."
She bowed her head down biting her lip. I didn't understand any of this. Why was she acting this way? What did I do to her?
I made a gesture, a small one, my body turned to the door. I was struggling with it. Moving. She obviously didn't want me here. It's like talking to a brick wall. Not going to get anywhere being this way.
"Fine." I finally moved to stand up but she caught me.
"Wait…" She gripped my arm with an urgency I never felt from anyone since Hannah. "Stay. Please don't leave."
I am so confused right now. What did she want from me? I feel like I was the one being played here.
Her words caught inside her throat before she spoke. I could tell it was hard for her to speak to me, to anyone.
"I'm sorry. I don't want you to run away." She sniffed, she must have been holding back crying. "Don't—"
She paused when I hesitated, looking at the door, agonizing over what is smart now.
I didn't move right away. I wasn't completely sure if I should be scared or sink further into this girl's life. Another part of me didn't question this. She didn't feel like a stranger to me.
And this is what made me stay. I sat back down as she removed the blanket, using my body as a replacement. I swallowed; I knew she heard it because she looked at me before hugging my torso.
"I'm sorry…just don't leave. Please Louis…" She hugged me tighter, even more intense urgency coming out of her. "I'm sorry…"
I find the words I was planning to say harder to get out the tighter she hugged me. Why did I stay? Why did I bother with this girl at all?
It's simple.
Because I knew her.
"Great job Louis!" The producer backstage told me the second I stepped off stage.
Nerves were still alive in my body. I felt an adrenaline rush. I made it. Fuck, I actually made it through. Hasn't really sunk in but I was feeling those affects stream through my body. That feeling between out-of-body and alive.
My thoughts were interrupted as I was engulfed in a warm embrace suddenly, Hannah. I smiled genuinely but something caught my eye at the corner of the room. Hannah's voice turned my attention back on her.
"Smashing babe! You were great out there!" I love her but now people are just being nice.
I hugged my girlfriend back, closing my eyes. When I opened them I saw the person, the girl from before. She was coming toward me, a slight blush on her cheeks. Her doe eyes looking down before they caught mine. She smiled when Hannah pulled away, looking between the two of us.
Another blush crept over her cheeks when Hannah gave a polite smile back. She kissed my cheek before telling me she'll be right back.
Things were quiet for a second and then-
"You were great out there." The girl said warmly. I blushed.
"Thank you. Look's like we both made it." I said, pointing to her confirmation paper.
She nodded, looking down on it as if she were memorizing everything. "We did." Her eyes flew back to me. "Yeah, I guess this is it."
Something about the way she said that made me curious.
She still had her guitar strap around her neck and then froze when I looked at her. I was about to say something—
"Hey guys! Picture time." One of the makeup artists said behind me holding up a professional camera. "For the show, memory billboard."
I glanced at the girl, giving her a shy smile. "You don't have to." I whispered.
She held her hand to stop me gently, "No it's OK." She looked to the enthusiastic girl, giving her a bright smile. Her somber expression brightening in a flash. I was impressed. Her smile was blinding.
The girl told us to stand close together. I think she thought we were a couple. I tried to move close to her without overstepping her boundaries but she moved further than I would have thought. Green light. I placed my arm around her shoulder, smiling at her before I heard Sonya, the makeup artist behind the camera count down.
The flash snapped and I felt her body instantly slip away from me the moment the picture was taken. She'd walked further away from where I stood, the whole thing was confusing me. I never asked her name or anything. She just left, like this was a dream. Like she was ghost.
Those eyes. How could I forget those eyes? I don't think I can. They were brief and unique. I wanted her to stay for a second more. But it was too late. I never saw her again. Not even at boot camp.
"Louis?" I came out of the flash; things were becoming clearer by the second. She looked at me, concern dripping off her expression.
"Are you alright?"
I couldn't be wrong about this.
"You're the girl I met at the auditions, aren't you?"
Charlie's POV
I moved away quickly.
"How—what, I was, no—" My thoughts were on rapid fire. I tried to form a coherent defense.
"Please don't lie to me anymore."
"Louis…it was so long ago, how could you remember any of this?" I didn't understand why he would care to remember me.
The encounter was so brief it was laughable. Even more than my audition.
"I just do." He grabbed my hands, lacing them together. I remember seeing this gesture with Hannah and shook. "It was you, wasn't it? Backstage, you saw me."
"Me what? Could be someone who looked like me. Ever thought of that?" I didn't make eye contact on purpose. Struggling with his hands but he wouldn't let me go.
He shook his head deforming my words further. "It's you. I know it is."
I shivered. He needs to leave right now. "No way…you've got the wrong girl. I swear. I never went on that shitty show."
He smirked. "Then why did you say what you said about me earlier? What's the real reason you hate me?"
Shit, he knows. He's getting closer and closer to the truth. I panicked. How he knew all of this made me nearly go into hysterics. He felt me shaking but he wouldn't let me go.
"I already told you I don't hate you. You have to know someone to hate them."
That did it. He let go. I used Troy's words all of a sudden and he released me. So easily too.
"W-where did you hear that from?" His voice was barely above a whisper, it sounded menacing. I paused, looking around. "Tell me?"
"I don't know, it doesn't matter where, but it's true. You have to. I don't know you so how could I possible hate you Louis?!"
I saw his blue eyes fill with worry, getting more bluer by the second. I've never seen Louis so scared, so, I don't know. Maybe he is still there after all. The guy I met three years ago. He isn't dead like I thought. He is still human.
"You want what I have? You want this life…don't you?" I said nothing, I couldn't deny that. I wanted this life at one point. But those days were gone as soon as I tried and failed to attain it. I shook my head still. "Liar. You were there. You were just as scared as I was. I remember like it just happened. I saw you standing behind Hannah with your guitar. Don't fucking deny it. I went to ask your name but you'd gone before I could. This all happened. Don't lie to me. Everybody lies to me, don't you do it too."
Did he get the flashes too? Holy shit. This mother fucker got serious. How else could he have remembered?
My throat had gone dry and I couldn't form a thought, a defense; everything that he was saying held some truth to it. I just never thought our paths would cross again.
"Louis…you can't possible think I'm—" I looked at him. He was waiting for me to finish. His lips were thin and he looked anxious. "There's no way you'd remember."
He cupped my cheeks suddenly; I knew my face was on fire now. My hands covered his; I can't handle how he was being.
"Now I know why you act the way you do."
"But that doesn't mean I hate you."
"No but, I never saw you after that day. I looked for you but you weren't there anymore. What happened to you?"
Louis really wanted to talk about my failures. I just wanted to go back to the way things were before. When I was just a clerk punching a clock which is who I am now, the other life is gone.
Tears slid off my cheeks and down his fingers. I pried his hands off my face, trying to push that memory as far back as I could.
"Don't wanna talk about this."
He pulled me close to him; his face was deathly close to mine. "I won't force you, I swear. You can trust me."
"Have trust issues, remember?"
"Come here…" He whispered in my ear.
My foot started hurting instantly as he said this. I grabbed it, trying to fight through the pain. No I am not reaching for those pills.
Louis Tomlinson cannot help me. It's not his business.
"I can't go anywhere right now. Look, umm, it's late. You don't have to stay. It's super late and—"
"I'm staying." I started to protest but he caught my hand. "Don't even think about it. Here, let me help you."
I was thinking of Troy in that moment. Wondering where he is, who he was with, what he was doing. Instead I have Louis. A sore fucking replacement. Why did he care so much about helping me?
"I would prefer to be left alone." My angst-written words came out before my gratitude. I know that was the right thing to do but I don't think Louis should involve himself anymore.
"That what you really want? A second ago you were begging me to stay? What changed? Because you're pissed I remembered you?"
I grit my teeth and turned around on the couch, my back was facing him. I was getting used to shutting him out. Why doesn't he see I just want my privacy back?
"I'm right huh?" I couldn't respond because he actually was but I'll never admit that.
"Yes, you're a total asshole." I said over my shoulder, earning a chuckle behind me.
"Boy when you give compliments…complete turn on. You sure do have massive experience in shutting people out don't you love? Not with me, not right now."
I gulped. I was scared of what that meant. This is bordering on stalking. Didn't he know that? Nobody would believe me though. In fact, the world would think I was nuts to call it stalking. Fuck. How unfortunate for me…Louis didn't care. I just wanted Troy. I missed him. I wanted him to be the one to comfort me.
Not a fucked up pop star obsessed with admiration. He just can't stand that someone could have a legitimate reason not to like him.
"You have better things to do I'm sure." I sat up, feeling for my foot, massaging it a bit.
"Actually I don't. I know you don't want to admit shit to me right now but I know you need me. Or else you wouldn't have begged me earlier and changed your mind when I said I knew you."
I stared at him, exhausted. "You don't know me. Nobody does." Maybe it should stay that way too.
"Yes I do. You auditioned for the same show I did three years ago and you were scared out of your mind. You looked at me, I remember that. You were carrying your guitar; you had a call number just like me and we took a picture together. That I remember."
The picture. Now all of me was shivering as if I blasted the AC in below zero weather. "It could be someone else Louis."
He tipped my chin, making me face him. I was scared. I tried everything I could to hide it, but she still exists. That girl…just as afraid as the day of the audition.
"You gave me this look before your audition love. It's not another girl when I know the truth staring me in my eyes."
Fuck. I was slipping. "Louis…please…it was so long ago. I'm not that girl anymore. I'm just not."
"I tell you what, names are earned; you said this. I want to earn your name. Let me."
I searched his eyes, he was there, he was. Oh god, what the hell am I getting myself into?
"Stay over."544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZEUtr7vyKp
