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Louis' POV
I laid in bed staring up at the ceiling in inexplicable thought.
Charlotte.
She didn't answer me. She probably thought I was crazy to follow her.
My head hit the pillow. Maybe this was a shit idea. I got up and walked to the fridge, getting a beer. I know I shouldn't be drinking this late but it's one of those times where you have no choice. Maybe I need someone to talk to. I'm not calling a hotline. I have tons of friends through emails and social media but sometimes I wonder who'd be by my side when I really need them. The type of friend that doesn't ask for anything in return, just comes over because they sense the need in your voice.
Charlotte. I was damn curious. But will talking to her actually solve? Was Harry right?
Maybe chatting to a hater will just make me feel worse. I didn't know. All I cared about really was knowing why. What did I do to make her say those things about me? I'm grasping for straws at that one. Why was she being so spiteful to someone she's never met and only knows through the media? Fans want to know us so badly, but do they really? Do they care what swims around my head when the cameras turn off? What about behind closed doors, the moment before I go to sleep? The moments where I don't trust myself around anyone.
I thought Eleanor did. I thought a lot of people understood me. They say all this fame is suppose to make you grow up fast. Really it just feels clogged up. You truly can't trust anyone and when you think you do, you're proved wrong again and again.
I wondered what Charlotte was thinking, what she did for a living, what she was doing right now. Was she really a fan of us or was she truly a hater and there's no convincing her otherwise?
I'd really like to know the answer to that.
I grabbed my phone and logged out of my faux account and back into the verified one. I guess this is the one that's supposed to represent me right? Confession time: management has control over my password and I'm actually not allowed to tweet every fucking thought in my head as it is. Proof being that they've deleted "uncouth" tweets that represented the real me in the past and I couldn't do a damn thing about it. Oh sure, I can tweet about touring, recording, promos, awards/accolades, our love for our fans every time I clock in a million followers, we're kind of expected to. Somebody has to sell our music in case they forgot we're in the business. It sucks in other ways, I feel robbed going on here. I bite my tongue, roll my eyes and just do it. There were conspiracies about that being true, I guess it's one of the few things the fans actually got right. That and I really did cry when The Wanted tried to jump us in the recording studio. Not especially proud of that one.
Regardless, our fans love us. No matter what we tweet. Majority of them really only care about whom I shag. The answer right now is no one. I've had offers in the last 2 months but all of them wouldn't feel right. My head and heart have to be near each other in a mutual agreement for me to even think of that. It was just too soon after the breakup. I didn't want to do that anyone. Can you live with yourself if you did that and got away with it? That's not the way I tick. I am a sexual person, right time, right moment, circumstance; watch out, otherwise, it's of no interest to me. I need to learn to be friends with someone first before considering anything beyond that.
This Twitter bull shit doesn't make it any easier. What's really on my mind? Do you lot really wanna know this?
For once I wanna tweet something authentic. Something fans will ponder and genuinely scratch their heads to. Maybe even learn something about the real me. I guess in a way, the real me is locked inside my heart. My head does most of the tweeting, sometimes I use swear words, oh, the fans cream themselves when I do that. Pull out the sassy boi card on various celebs slagging us off randomly. I mean, yeah, it's amusing and shit. Oh, by the way, to whoever it may concern, Harry only says he hates girls who swear to collect pussy. It's the classic I want a Madonna in the kitchen and a Fergie in the beddy bye. Harreh Harold, that is a naughty boy if there ever was one.
I'll probably have to turn off my phone after this makeshift tweet for many reasons. One, I'm going to be 100% real and two, it's after midnight, I'll use that as my excuse if they ask why, which I predict. I got a couple tweets from some tour mates, figures and scrolled down those. There's two columns when you're a somebody: one for famous/verifieds and the other for stalkers, I mean the fans, all the people in love with me, proposing their hands to me, propositioning a shag, and those lovely gets that take the Larry thing a bit too far.
It's a bromance people. Plain and simple. I have no desire to suck Harry's shlong (not as big as people think it is, walked in on him, total accident). Sometimes I find it weird when girls like to give blokes a good toss. Sure it feels great but it's so distasteful. BJs feel great but they are not that great. Call me gay or whatever, I feel weird when a girl actually admits she likes it. I am a big romantic guy and it ruins a guy's rep to admit that. I think kissing is much more satisfying than rounding third base by a mile.
Aha! That's it! By George I've got it!
I began typing it up, licking the front of my teeth at the cheekiness of it…
@Louis_Tomlinson a really good snog is hard to come by…but I'm still on the watch ! xx
Yeah it's suggestive. Yeah it's pompous and juvenile but who gives a fuck? I'm tweeting what I want. I'm doing what I want with my twitter. I await the barrage of PR handlers raining on my parade but this is getting fun now! I like this. I really like being honest. There's no greater feeling. As Troy I can really be myself. I wanted to keep that as well. This will be sure to tick everyone off. I giggled slightly as I sent it.
I blew out a full breath of air. Yes! I'm real. I exist.
Holy shit…Charlotte's online…
How do I know this? She replied to my tweet first…I grinned reading it several times while cracking up.
@CharNCharge you'll never find her when you're famous…
Well, well. She replied to me. Does she watch my tweets like every other fan out there? Maybe she is a fan after all. Interesting tweet.
I almost tweeted a reply as the verified me, shit. Don't wanna do that. Don't wanna go there.
I logged out of it and back into Troy.
Time to breath life into this sass account. Oh yeah. It's about to get bumpy.
I tweeted to Charlotte and took a satisfying swig of my beer. I looked at the tweet, placing my phone on the charger making certain to keep it alive for what's to come.505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4oueOKeB0j
