"Slut." I turned around to see a well-known face. "Everyone already aknows what you did."
My eyes shot up, widening, I had no idea how to respond outside of playing dumb. "What're you talking about?"
Unable to defend or brace myself, I was shoved into my locker as anger took over her makeup-laden face. Surrounded by her and her lackeys, the attention of the halls was grabbed and seemed to be preparing for a fight as they zoomed in, circling around like a pack of hungry hyenas. Between us were the books that'd fallen from my hands and the tension created by her. In her eyes, I was the only thing around and I was her only enemy.
"You fuck my boyfriend and expect me to not hear about it?" she growled, pushing me into the locker again.
The girl in front of me was Courtney Hale, the goddess and the warden, the girl who ran the school with an iron fist alongside her boyfriend. That boyfriend was the picture perfect student, with perfect grades and perfect looks, the perfect quarterback that was already being recruited to top colleges. That boyfriend she ran the school with was the same man who stole everything from me the previous night. That boyfriend was Devin Herrera.
If only she knew. If only she knew that he drugged an innocent freshman girl. If only she knew that he took advantage of a defenseless, immobile teenage girl. If only she knew that he was the one who did it all. If only she knew that she had no choice in any of it. If only, if only, if only. What if I told the truth? What if I could tell the truth and be believed?
"Yeah. . ." my eyes hit the ground, hissing. "He bent me right over and took what he wanted."
A flash of white and the backward whipping motion of my head said she hit me as hard as she could. What was the point in trying to defend myself or telling the truth? Nobody was going to believe someone like me, especially when the view of me had shifted from lesbian to slut in the passing of a single night. I wasn't just the shefag or vagatarian anymore, I was the boyfriend-stealer and the enemy of her and all her friends.
Everyone thought I just let him have his way with me, that I was the slut they now thought I was. There wasn't a chance in hell that I was going to be believed after that went around, so what was the point in fighting it? I was better off playing the villain she and everyone else wanted me to be, hoping that it would end sooner rather than later. More specifically, I could only hope that they would end me sooner rather than later.
I shoved her back, trying my best to fake a smile. "Nice and big, too."
Seconds later, I was ripped to the floor by my hair and found myself lying on my back before the head of her shoe met my face. It wasn't long before her friends joined in, kicking me as I lied beneath my locker. Then it slowed to halt, until just the bottom of a shoe rested on the side of my head. The only things that remained were the sounds of a few laughs and their breathing, along with what was probably the throbbing of the slight pains I began to feel everywhere.
"I'm going to make your li-" the squeaking of shoes screeched through the hallway as the weight of the foot was suddenly lifted. "What the fuck, Nathan? This bitch fucked my boyfriend."
As my vision came back into focus, I was met with Nathan's tall, lanky figure standing over me instead of Courtney and her friends. While I couldn't see his face, the position Nathan stood in looked angry, and her reaction seemed to agree. He was only inches from her face as he seemed to glare. "You think she's the only one? Go ask your sister."
Nathan, surprisingly, gave Courtney a push towards the crowd of people.
"I don't hit girls, but after what I just saw? I think you might deserve it." He strode forward and shoved her again, this time into the crowd of people.
Courtney became just as angry. Furrowed brows and gritted teeth said the obvious as her trembling fists held back the yearning to hit him in return. "This is bullshit, Nathan. That cunt deserves this."
I brought myself to my feet, almost immediately noticing the pain in my jaw and arm as she stormed off through the audience. Nathan shook his head as he turned back and looked at me. He stared, sharing with me his widened eyes as he knelt over and picked up the books I dropped before he stuck them back into my locker. Swiftly slamming the locker door shut, he took me by my wrist and pulled me through the same crowd that Courtney had just left through.
Several short moments passed as he took me along for a ride, until we met the boys bathroom. With no regard for rules, he pulled me right through the doorway and into the bathroom, where he pulled off his backpack and ripped out a dry, navy blue rag after unzipping the smaller opening. Nathan took a deep breath as he turned the water on and put the rag under it, biting his lip between each one.
"I've been hearing the rumors all day. . ." Nathan removed the rag from the water as he turned his head to me, revealing faint, makeup-covered traces of a black eye. "I really wish you would tell someone before it's too late."
I shook my head as Nathan approached. He took my bangs in between his fingers and brushed them over the back of my head, bringing the rag he had just wet to the perimeter of my right eye. "I'm fine, Nathan. . .I'm fine."
"You say that, yet you're about to cry." Nathan brought the rag down to my cheekbone and let go of my hair. "I don't care about how you look, or whatever. Go ahead."
I could only wonder what gave me away, but Nathan had me pegged, down to even wanting to cry. The past twelve hours were hell on earth, absolutely everything felt like it was trying to kill me. Every step I made resulted in a sharp pain. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw his face. Every time I took a breath, I felt his hands around my throat. It was as though Devin was following my every move, torturing, haunting me from behind - and in my head.
Just like Nathan said, I could feel the beginning of a tear form in the corner of my eye. "Why did you lie for me, then?"
"About her sister? That was true. I walked. . .Nevermind." Nathan lightly pressed the rag against my jaw. "I didn't say what actually happened because that's your decision to make. You said no, and even if I really want the truth out, I'm going to respect your choice. That's the least I could do."
Strand by strand, my bangs began to fall over my eyes as tear number one fell. The second and third followed shortly after while Nathan brought the rag back to the running water. I couldn't let the truth out. It wasn't just because I wouldn't have been believed, it was because I had already put the people I loved through so much. My parents suffered so much because of me, Grace had suffered so much because of me, so much that she tried to commit suicide. Even Nathan was suffering through something, all because of me.
Nathan hadn't understood, maybe most people wouldn't have, but I never wanted Grace to find out about what happened. I was disgusting, diseased and Grace hadn't deserved that in any sense of the word, in any reality. She would have accepted me and told me that she still loved me, that none of her feelings would change, but that wasn't true. Grace would've looked at and treated me differently, even if it was subconscious. That wasn't what I wanted.
If she ever woke up, I wanted the way she looked at me to be the same. Not the ruined trash that was crying in a boys bathroom.
"You don't have to do anything." I could feel myself sliding down the wall. "You can tell anyone you want or just leave me here, Nathan. You don't owe me shit."
I was stuck in a hurricane of thoughts, feelings, and emotions that were trying to pull me into a darkness that I hadn't wanted to visit. I didn't have any idea what it meant, but I knew it was the same type of darkness that took Grace, that took people every minute of every day. There was no way I was going to leave this place until Grace opened her eyes again or left it herself, even if it meant suffering through this hell for the rest of my life.
"I kinda do, because I was there and the only thing I could do was get my ass kicked." Nathan held my hand in his palm as he wiped the footprint from my arm.
"I'm going to keep you from doing anything stupid, at the very least."
_ _ _ _ _ _ _
By the time I was ready to leave the bathroom looking somewhat normal, second period was ready to start. While I felt the eyes and laughs of everyone throughout the day, they hadn't been something I wasn't used to. I had gotten them with Grace and after Grace, the only difference now was that I was the centerpiece of a lie I never created. I hooked up with Devin, even though he had a girlfriend. That was how everyone thought it went down.
The end of the day finally came and there I stood, in the cafeteria waiting for Nathan who said he would meet me after telling his coach that he wouldn't be able to make practice. Except, that was ten minutes ago. Was it too quick for me to assume that he wasn't coming, that he hadn't really meant what he said? If he chose that, I wouldn't have blamed him. I wouldn't have blamed him for a damn thing if he wanted to avoid me entirely.
"Hey!" Courtney jumped in front of me, chirping and smiling as her friends came seconds after. "Look, we feel horrible about earlier. Devin is a douchebag and I shouldn't have blamed it all on you, so let us apologize to you with a bit of fun. Just the four of us."
"No, really? Is he?" I looked to my right to see if Nathan was coming, hoping that a cold shoulder would have somehow repelled them. "Sorry, but I have plans that don't include you or Devin."
Courtney casually turned her head, looking in both directions before she bounced forward and brought her mouth to my cheekbone, speaking through shut teeth. "If you don't come, the pain you're going to feel will make earlier seem like heaven."
I sighed, lightly throwing my hands up. ". . .Fine."
Smirking, she motioned me aside and pulled the gym door open, holding it until all four of us had gone in. It was a diagonal cut through the gym, and then two left turns later that I was met with a familiar room. A large, familiar room that was brightly lit, yet filled with the same darkness that was trying to consume me. It was the same place that I was in the night before. It was the same place he ruined and stole everything from me. It was the absolute last place I wanted to be.
Full breaths became harder to come by as she led me into the indoor pool, the exact place that party was held. Suddenly she stopped walked and slowly turned around, carrying a smirk that had said everything I needed to know. I knew she was never going to actually apologize to me, that much was obvious. I figured that both her and her friends were going to take me somewhere and finish what they started earlier. That was expected, but this place hadn't been.
Courtney stood in place, her smirk now a very clear glare.
"I kinda figured the dirty bitch needed to be cleaned."
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