Trisha’s morning sickness was starting to get pretty bad so mom bought her some plain saltine crackers. She was also trying to work things out with her parents so she could move back home, but mom liked having her around.
Josh decided to step up to the plate and ask Trisha to marry him. I’m shocked, but I’m also really proud of him. I mean they’re both still really young but he was trying to be a man and that’s what counts. It reminds me of my conversation with Drew. Part of me is happy Josh chose to be responsible, but I can’t help but think about the fact that Josh’s life is pretty much over.
He invited me to help him shop for a ring for Trisha and I happily came along.
“Thank you for helping me, you’re her best friend so you know what she likes,” Josh smiles.
“You owe me,” I tease.
“Yes, I do.”
Looking through the display case at everything they have, I can see through the reflection in the glass that something is bothering him.
“What’s wrong are you getting cold feet?” I ask.
“No, um…I want to apologize if I ruined your relationship with Drew, that wasn’t my intention.”
That’s why he’s been so quiet? He feels guilty about what happened between Drew and I? Oh no.
“You haven’t ruined anything Josh. Drew’s parents think I’m a distraction and they don’t want us together. That’s why he broke up with me. They didn’t want me to distract him from his NBA career.” I hoped to put his mind at ease.
“I guess I can understand that. I mean look what happened with Trisha and me. We thought we could handle being together without getting distracted and now we’re about to have a baby. I don’t want that to be you.” He confides.
“I get it, but Drew and I aren’t you and Trisha. I don’t want kids and I plan on making sure I never have any.”
“I know breaking up with him has really hurt you, but I think it’s for the best. Who knows, maybe once he’s done sleeping with all the girls at Consumnes he’ll be ready to settle down.” Josh laughs.
“Is it sad that is I miss him? It’s pathetic, isn’t it?”
“No. You never really get over your first love Sid.”
“Tell me about it. I feel stupid because if he asked me to I would probably take him back and I hate feeling this way. I hate how painfully aware I am that he isn’t texting or calling me. I hate that without him I feel empty.”
“You knowing the saying, right?”
“What saying?” I frown.
“If you love someone, love them enough to let them go and watch them grow. If they come back to you then you’ll know.”
“What hallmark card did you get that from?” I laugh.
“Just know that I’m here for you okay. You’re my little sister and I love you,” Josh hugs me.
“I love you too.”
I helped Josh pick out the perfect engagement ring for Trisha and he proposed to her that night at dinner. Everyone celebrated with cake and ice cream afterwards but I found it hard to be enthusiastic about it when my own love life was in peril. Quincy had to cancel our date, which was a first, but it’s not surprising. He probably lost interest, just like Drew.
Patrice and Nicole came over so we went outside to watch the neighborhood kids play football and Em joined us. I wonder how she’s doing with her own boyfriend. She hasn’t talked about Mark in a while.
“Can’t stand all the smiles and kisses either huh?” Emily chuckles.
“Not really. I miss Drew and it really bothers me,” I confide.
“Why are girls always the ones who suffer the worse in a breakup? A week barely passes by and guys are already on to the next girl while we’re stuck in limbo missing them.”
“It’s because girls are hopeless romantics. We over fantasize everything and start drinking our own unrealistic kool-aid.”
“Amen to that,” she laughs.
“Drew breaking up with me is probably the most painful thing I’ve ever had to swallow. I almost slept with him too. Looking back I think it would’ve only made things worse. I’m glad I didn’t go through with it.”
“I wish I could say the same thing about Mark and I,” sadness washed over Em’s face.
“You and Mark?”
“Yeah,” she nods, “and it was beautiful. Well…it was until he started to change.”
I wanted to pry but the words got stuck in my throat. Drew’s on his way over to us, and the sick feeling in my stomach is slowly forming into a knot with each step he takes. I look over at Em and she pats me on the back.
“Do you have a minute?” Drew asks.
“No, I don’t.”
“Okay, well I can leave if you want but I would like to talk to you.”
“I have a better idea. Why not stay and don’t talk to me?”
“Is that what you want?” He asks, “I thought we were good.”
“You thought wrong.”
“What do I have to do to get rid of all the attitude you’re giving me right now?”
“You could always go get hit by a car.” I reply sarcastically.
“If I actually got hit by a car you’d be crying your eyes out.” He penetrates my defenses with his eyes.
I hate his face!
“What do you want Drew?”
“To make sure you’re okay. To be friends.”
“I’m fine. I don’t need anymore friends.”
“Look, I know I let you down, but I still love you Sid and I still want you in my life.”
“No.”
Is he still playing head games with me? Him telling me he still loves me may as well be a joke.
“I hope it was worth it.” I glare at him.
“Not really,” he shook his head, “not when it cost me you. If I said I regret it, would you talk to me then?”
“It depends. Why do you regret it?”
“Because you’re right…it’s not as fulfilling as I thought it would be.”
“Why not?”
“Because none of the girls I’m sleeping with are you.”
We lock eyes and even the brief moment we’re holding each other’s gaze threatens to do me in. I have to look away in order to stay strong.
“If you’re expecting me to jump for joy, don’t hold your breath.”
“Come talk to me.” Drew asks again.
“No, not this time.”
He stood there staring at me like he was surprised I said no to him then he left. Emily laughs and shakes her head. It’s a proud laugh. If Drew were ever going to get me back he would need more than an apology. I’m sick of his apologies because they obviously don’t mean anything.
Drew’s pursuing me hard once again, but I refused to back down this time. After a while it made him angry. Especially when Landon Mason and I started to get chummy with each other. He was a star wide receiver for the school’s football team, and he was on the honor roll. He’s one of the only other guys at school on Drew’s level socially and he’s a senior. He’d just broken up with his girlfriend of two years and decided I would be his next conquest. He and Quincy were both vying for the position of Drew’s replacement.
I met him when I was assigned detention for cutting up in class one day and had to pick up garbage out of the parking lot as a punishment. He made some joke about me cleaning up the parking lot, but was polite enough to help when one of his teammates tossed an empty can on the ground in front of me. We exchanged numbers.
I told Emily all about Landon and she gave her sisterly approval. She was excited to see me date someone who wasn’t Drew for a change. I allowed myself to get way too involved with Drew. He wasn’t ready for a real relationship and to be truthful none of the guys my age were. That’s why my parents didn’t want me to date. Dating in high school is a crapshoot and a joke.
From this point on Sidney Stansfield is going to be a player. I had dating all wrong. I blame romance movies. They’re such a crock of crap. In real life only a small amount of people find true love in their teenage years. And out of that small amount an even smaller percentage go on to get married and live happily ever after while everyone else is either divorced or playing the field. Boys my age were only good for one thing…killing time, having fun, and finding out what I want in a future husband. So that’s the approach I’m taking on dating.
I started going out with Landon, Quincy, and just about anyone I felt like going out with. I only had three rules…no catching feelings, nothing long-term and no sex.
“I saw you talking to Landon.” Drew walks up to me during lunch.
“So what.”
“He’s a bad guy Sidney.”
“That’s what a lot of people said about you.”
“Yes I know, but he’s real bad news,” he warns.
“Why, because he likes me?”
“No, because he has no respect for women.”
“Like you do? Drew you used Annette like a toilet, don’t talk to me about having respect for women,” I scoffed.
“You’re right, I’m guilty of being an idiot,” He admits, “But Landon…he’s not what you think.”
“I’m not trying to marry him Drew.”
“What are you doing? You’re not a player Sid.”
“You’re right, I’m not. I’m an equal opportunist.”
Drew laughs and shakes his head at me, “Just be careful with Landon, okay.”
“Bye Drew,” I wave him off.
Drew is such a hater when it comes to Landon. I’m not buying his concerned ex-boyfriend act either. There’s nothing Landon’s doing that Drew hasn’t done. So when Landon invites me to the drive-in to watch movies, I accept his invitation. It’s been a while since I’ve gone to the drive-in anyway.
“You look good,” Landon’s eyes wash over me.
“Thanks, so do you.”
Being out with someone new was both exciting and unnerving. Half the time Drew kept popping into my head. I’m sitting here trying to convince myself to forget about Drew when Landon places his hand on my thigh and smiles at me.
What is it with the boys out here suddenly wanting to fondle you all the time? I mean, Landon was cute but he wasn’t cute enough to be touching me right now.
I gently move his hand only to have him put it back. “Landon, can you please stop touching me it makes me uncomfortable?” I asked.
“Relax, I’ll be gentle.” He smiles.
“No, you’re going to move your hand.”
Landon leans in to kiss me, and I turn away, but he grabs me by the head and forces me to kiss him back. I place my hand against his face and push him as far away from me as I can, but he overpowers me. The next thing I know I’m laying flat on my back in the back seat and he has my arms pinned down.
This is probably what Drew meant by bad news, but Landon is more than just bad news. Landon is a predator…
“Get off of me!” I began kicking and screaming.
“Oh come on. This is what you came out here for, isn’t it?”
Landon leans in, kissing me on the lips and I panic. Somehow I’m able to get my arms loose and start to fight him. Angry, he clenches his hand around my neck and starts to squeeze.
“Stop fighting me or I’m going to hurt you.” He warns me.
Landon was big enough to do just that and I pray to God someone sees what’s going on and comes to help. As he kisses me on the neck I look around for something to hit him with but there’s nothing. If I can get him off of me I’d have one shot to get out the door.
“Wait, let me take your shirt off,” I flash him the best fake smile I can muster up.
“Now you’re talking.” He smiles back.
Bile rises in my throat and I swallow it back down. I lift his shirt over his face and once I know he can’t see me, I punch him in the face as hard as I can and kick him between his legs. I get out of the car as fast as I can, grabbing my stuff on the way out. I run to the girl’s bathroom where I hide in a stall just in case he’s crazy enough to follow me in here.
I have no idea where I am but I know I’m too far away from home to walk. I thought about calling dad or Josh, but if I call them I’m pretty sure I’ll never be allowed to date again. With no other options, I called the one person I really didn’t want to talk to. I called Drew. I told him everything that happened and he was already halfway here before we hung up the phone.
I sat in the girl’s bathroom in a stall until Drew called to let me know he was outside and I ran to his car as fast as I could. When I got in Drew looked pissed.
“I know what you’re going to say.”
“I’m not going to say anything Sidney, I’m angry. Did he hurt you?”
“No,” I shook my head, “He just scared me. You tried to warn me and I should’ve listened.”
“I’m just glad you’re alright and he didn’t succeed…or did he?” He asks, looking me over.
“No. I pulled his shirt over his head, punched him in the face and kicked him in his balls. After that I got out of there as fast as I could.”
I’m so rattled by what happened that I’m shaking, only I don’t realize it until Drew points it out. I can’t go home until I calm down, so Drew snuck me in through his bedroom window and locked the door.
“You okay?”
“I am now.”
“His girlfriend of two years stayed with him out of fear. She’s the one who told me to warn you that Landon’s a head case.”
“You sleeping with her?”
“I was,” he nods, “but not anymore. She has a new boyfriend now.”
“You could have hung up on me and you didn’t have to come get me. Thank you for being there for me.”
“You don’t have to thank me, just listen to me next time.”
“I bet you’d like that wouldn’t you? You like having me under your thumb.”
For once he has nothing to say. The king of smooth talking is speechless. There’s a first. I never thought I’d ever see the day anyone could render him speechless.
I laugh and his eyes wash over me. He moves in to kiss me and I want to run, but I don’t. I kiss him back and my feelings for him threaten to take over. God help me. Somehow I gather the strength and break free from his kiss. “I love you,” Drew whispers to me.
“I love you too,” I smile.
“You should probably go before I do something stupid.”
“I just got attacked by a football player. The only place I want to be right now is with you.”
“You sure?”
“I’m positive.”
Drew lay down on his bed and signaled for me to lie next to him, so I did. He stroked my hair, peering into my eyes and I pulled him in for another kiss. I don’t care anymore. After what I went through with Landon tonight, I need to be with someone who isn’t trying to hurt me. I need to be with someone who loves me even though he’s afraid to.
Being with Drew right now is probably incredibly stupid, but I’m tired of doing the sensible thing. Tonight I want to throw caution to the wind and be reckless for once.
For the most part we just kissed and he held me in his arms. His parents wouldn’t be home until sometime after ten, so we took full advantage of the time we had. When ten o’ clock came around and I was calm enough to appear normal, Drew walked me home.
Dad complained about me coming in late even though it was only by what…a minute? Not wanting to argue, I apologized and headed up to my room. Drew sent me a text several minutes later and when I opened it I laughed. The picture was of him pitching a tent with a caption telling me that’s what I do to him.
I smirked and sent him a picture of me with my shirt unbuttoned low enough to give him a glimpse at what he’s missing. Exhausted, I fell asleep.
Everyone knew what happened between Landon and I that following Monday. He was going around laughing about it like it was some joke. Like what he did was normal.
Being around him made me uncomfortable. I went into panic attacks whenever I saw him walking towards me in the hall and he thought it was funny. He started bullying me after that, and texting me all of the obscene things he wanted to do to me.
When I had him blocked, he went to social media and started bullying me there too. Landon would NOT leave me alone. There were only three people who knew what happened that night…me, Landon and Drew.
Every day during lunch Landon made it a point harass me, and today is no different. He whispered something to his friends and they all laughed, turning to look at me.
“What’s that about?” Asked Josh, “You and Landon have a falling out?”
“No. We’re good.” I lie.
“Landon, I want to talk to you.” I heard Drew say.
I turn to follow his voice and recognize the look on Drew’s face. He’s about to beat the crap out of Landon for what he did to me.
“About what, your little nun’s virtue?” Landon laughs.
Drew surprises everyone by decking Landon in the face so hard that he falls backwards. Drew doesn’t stop there. Landon tries to get back up but can’t. Drew has him pinned to the floor and is decking him in the face repeatedly.
“Don’t you ever touch Sidney again you hear me!” Drew shouts.
Coach Treggle is walking by and hears the commotion. He comes running into the cafeteria and tries pulling Drew off of Landon, but Drew is strong. It takes five of his teammates and his coach to get him off of Landon.
“What is this about?” Asks Coach Treggle.
“He attacked Sidney last night and tried to force himself on her.”
“That’s a very serious accusation Drew,” Coach replies.
“It’s true,” I back him up, “I agreed to go out with him last night and he pinned me down in the back seat of his car against my wishes.”
“You liked it.” Landon smirks with blood still trickling from his mouth and nose.
Drew breaks free from Coach Treggle and charges Landon, knocking him to the ground again.
“Andrew, get off of him!” Coach shouts.
Drew was defending my honor and I should be happy, but all I can think about is how right his parents are. If Drew didn’t stop, he could kiss his basketball year goodbye and Landon isn’t worth his career.
“Drew stop!” I shout, running over to help coach pull him off.
“That’s enough Andrew!” Coach shouts at him, snapping him out of it.
“Drew stop. Come sit down.” I grasp his head in my hands and force him to look at me. I pull him over to my table where I notice the bruising on his knuckles, “Your hand.”
Drew’s knuckles are red and swollen. I had Emily go get me some ice while Coach Treggle dealt with Landon.
“I could really kill him for putting his hands on you like that.” Said Drew.
“No ones killing anyone, you made your point.”
Drew surprises me by pulling me into a passionate kiss. My mind went blank, shutting out any and everything around us. What did this kiss even mean? Were we back together?
I didn’t get a chance to ask him because we were both called into the principles office. My parents were called and so were both Drew’s and Landon’s.
Drew was suspended for three days, which caused him to miss one of his games, and Dad wanted to press charges against Landon. After talking to Landon’s parents and the principal they convinced him not to ruin Landon’s life. Why? I have NO idea. Soon several other girls come forward to say they don’t feel safe with Landon at school. A protest, several angry letters to the district and a petition later, Landon is eventually expelled from school.
I became a hero on the school grounds after my incident with Landon and my skills on the basketball court landed me a short story in the local news. My parents threw me a party to celebrate my success and my birthday. They rented a room at the local convention center and I invited the entire student body to come along.
There were balloons and decorations everywhere, a live DJ and plenty of food. It’s the first time my parents have done anything like this for me. I have an entire row of tables against one wall filled with birthday gifts and another filled with food. Em and mom gave me a tiara and a banner that said Birthday girl on it, all pink of course. EW. Red is more my color, but arguing with my mom is pointless.
“I got you something,” says Drew.
We still aren’t together, but we fool around every now and again. I’m not sure what we are to be honest. Nor am I in a hurry to put a label on it either. Then there’s Quincy. After I kicked Landon to the curb for obvious reasons, he and I started spending more time together. The more I learn about him, the more I find myself wanting to know more. What I like the most about him is how patient he’s been with me. Most guys would’ve given up by now, but not him.
“What is it?” I asked.
He opened up the gift box he was holding and pulled out a silver necklace with a diamond-encrusted basketball on it.
“Is this real?”
“That’s kind of an insulting question to be asked, but yes,” Drew nods.
“I’m sorry, it’s just that this looks really expensive Drew.”
“That’s because it is. Expensive things aren’t too far from my grasp, you know.”
“In other words your mom helped you buy it.”
“Pretty much,” he chuckles.
“Who picked it out, you or her?”
“I picked it out and she helped me pay for it.”
“You’re so spoiled,” I shook my head laughing.
“Here, I’ll put it on you.”
I gathered my hair into a ponytail in my hand and held it out of the way so he could put the necklace on me.
“It’s beautiful Drew, thank you.”
Kissing him on the lips a little longer than I probably should have, my mom came to pull us apart, “Let’s not give your father a heart attack tonight.” She warns.
Drew and I both laugh. He slides his hand into mine and stays by my side the entire time. I’m glad we’re back to being civil, but what we’re doing goes against everything I stand for. We’re basically seeing each other without a commitment or some sort of understanding as to where the lines are drawn. In short, we’re winging it.
“Okay everyone, it’s time for Sidney to open her gifts!” Mom shouts, getting everyone’s attention.
I got gift cards, clothes, jewelry, a new iPod, and many other things for my birthday. All of my friends keep telling me how cool my parents are to do something like this for me and I agree.
“Okay, are you ready for your last gift?” Mom asks.
“I have another gift?”
Mom points out the window and some lights came revealing a red convertible beetle with a bow on it. YES!
“Oh my God! Thank you!” I shout excited.
Grabbing the keys from my dad, I ran outside and climbed into my car with Trisha, Patrice and Nicole. The interior was tan leather and it had a CD player in it. This was arguably the happiest day of my life. I couldn’t believe my parents bought me a car and neither could Emily. She didn’t have a car yet. Em is epileptic and my parents worried about her getting into an accident because of it.
Out of respect for Em, who has a sad look on her face, I try not to make a big deal about the car. I took Drew out onto the dance floor with friends and we danced the night away. I saw my parents watching us a few times when they thought we weren’t looking, and Drew’s parents took over watching us wherever my parents left off.
“Our parents are watching us like a hawk,” Drew looks around the room.
“Maybe we should give them something to look at.”
“I don’t know. Your dad scares me.”
We both laugh but we keep dancing. At some point Quincy cuts in for a dance and I danced with him too.
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