I thought that everything would blow over and Drew and I would be back to snuggling in no time. I wish that were the case. We spent less time together and life for me started to suck all over again. It wasn’t that he stopped hanging out with me or he stopped talking to me. It’s the fact that he spent most of his time with Kimberly. She’s stealing his heart away from me. That’s the part I’m having a hard time with. I can’t imagine a life without Drew in it. I mean…I know I’m only seventeen, but why else would God give teenagers such strong emotions if we weren’t supposed to use them.
Trisha and Patrice tried convincing me to go out with someone else or let them set me up on a date. I needed the distraction so I agreed to a blind date. Only it wasn’t a blind date. Quincy shows up to the bowling alley and I almost choked on my soda. He was the last person I expected anyone to set me up with. Still, at least he’s not a stranger. I already know Quincy’s flaws and quirks.
The first part of our date seemed harmless enough. Quincy was pretty good at bowling but I still kicked his butt by at least ten points. We played video games at the arcade and I attempted to hit balls in the batting cage, which proved to be a disaster because I accidentally let go of the baseball bat.
Quincy was a perfect gentleman the entire night. He paid for everything, opened doors for me, and he pulled out my chairs. I liked that. Dare I say I miss him? Hanging out with him reminded me of what it was like to be with him. I always knew where I stood with Quincy, which is a lot more than I can say for Drew.
I tried making plans for us to go see a movie and he blew me off with some lame excuse about having to help his grandma. Still, I gave him the benefit of the doubt and tried again, but there always seemed to be something to prevent him from being able to spend time with me.
We had one of THEE most epic games ever and when it was over, Drew went to hang out with his boys. I asked if I could come along and they all exchanged awkward glances. Drew and I ended up arguing because he claimed he just wanted it to be him and his boys, but Nicole showed me a picture on Kimberly’s Facebook profile that showed her hugged up with Drew at the very same party he didn’t want me to go to.
At least now I know it’s not all in my head. He’s got a thing for her and rather than be upfront with me about it he chose to lie to me. Why lie? It’s not like we’re exclusive.
It’s pretty obvious Drew wants his space, so I give it to him. I stop texting, calling, and I barely acknowledge him at school now. I keep wondering when he’s going to pull the plug on our relationship but I’m also dreading it.
“The Titans are on a winning streak and I think you have a lot to do with it,” Said Nicole.
“I agree. Before you joined the varsity team they sucked,” Bobby laughed.
“The recruiter from UCLA was at the game and I swear she was checking you out.” Em raved.
“So was the coach from UC Davis and Stanford. You’ve got a really good shot at a basketball scholarship Sid,” Said Josh.
“Yes, but dad wants me to be a doctor. If I even mention the word WNBA he’ll have a panic attack.”
“Your grades are also good enough to secure an academic scholarship too,” Trisha points out.
“I’ve been calling you for days, and you’ve been ignoring me, why?” Asked Quincy, interrupting our conversation.
“We went out and it was fun but I’m still mad at you Quincy.”
“Then yell at me or hit me or something. Don’t freeze me out.”
Quincy reached up to remove a lock of hair from my face and I backed away from him. Perhaps if he wouldn’t try so hard I might give him a chance.
“That’s got to burn,” Said Drew, standing behind him.
“Sid, I’ll catch you later,” Quincy took off.
“Not if I see you first,” I mumbled underneath my breath as he walks away.
“Quincy has a serious crush on you,” Drew sits down beside me.
“What do you want Drew?” I asked.
“Are you going to Sugar Pine Saturday?”
“I was invited, but I’m not sure if my dad will let me go.”
“Your dad is still running your life huh?”
“It doesn’t matter anymore, it’s not like you haven’t moved on anyway.”
Drew looked over at me then quickly looked away. He’s not even trying to deny it. It’s true…he’s moved on.
Ignoring Drew, I started eating lunch. I debated whether I actually wanted to go to Sugar Pine and was dreading asking my dad. Lately he and I have been getting along but I’m not sure if it’s enough to make him trust me to go on this trip.
“If he says yes, are we gonna go together?”
“No, um…I made plans to go with Kim,” he averted his eyes to the floor.
“Of course you did,” I sulked.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing,” I clam up.
Just that I love you and you’re totally crushing on another girl right now, so you never have time for me. I’m hurt…
“It’s just…when are we gonna spend time together?” I asked.
“Soon, I promise,” Drew smiles.
Darn that smile. I hate his smile because it did irreparable damage to the walls I try to put up to protect myself from him. I can’t stop the smile spreading across my own face and I blushed.
Drew took off and everyone started laughing at me. Nicole was laughing so hard that her soda went down the wrong pipe and ended up coming out of her nose.
“You’re so whipped and he hasn’t even hit it yet,” said Patrice.
“The jerk knows how to push the right buttons.”
“This isn’t funny.” Josh snaps, “He’s blowing you off for Kim, and that’s not good Sid.”
“Neither was you paying Quincy to break us up?”
The look on Josh’s face is priceless. He’s such a hypocrite! I hated when he tried to be this over-protective big brother knowing damn well he’s been going behind my back to destroy my relationship.
“What are you talking about?” Asked Trisha.
“That text everyone got of me kissing Quincy was Scott’s idea. Only when Quincy wanted to back out Scott threatened him and Josh offered him a hundred dollars to go through with it,” I explained.
“You did what? Josh how could you?”
“I was protecting Sidney.”
“By doing what exactly?” I asked. “You need to stay out of my relationships.”
Trisha and Josh began to argue and the rest of us didn’t feel like hearing it so we went to another table.
“You and Drew are like Romeo and Juliet,” Nicole pouted.
“Terrible reference Nicky, they both died at the end.”
“Yes, but its romantic,” She swooned.
“Yeah…a romantic tragedy of epic proportions.”
After lunch I went to class where we were surprised with a test. Thanks to the fact that I actually paid attention in class I got one hundred percent on that test. I was the only one in class who received a perfect score.
The bell rang for me to head to sixth period, and when I rounded the corner to the entrance of the gym, Drew stood in front talking to Kimberly. She smiled when she saw me. Drew on the other hand was too busy flirting to notice me standing there.
“You’re coming to the sophomore getaway with me, right?” Asked Drew.
“Are you going to give me a ride?”
“Sure, I have room.”
“What about Sidney?” She asked him. She was trying to trip him up and I was interested to see what he would say.
“What about her?”
“Won’t she be upset to see me riding with you?”
“Probably, but I don’t answer to her.”
I ignored the both of them and went into the gym. I had no idea if he saw me or not but if he did he didn’t come after me like I hoped. Now I’m starting to wonder if his feelings for me were real or just in my head. I couldn’t figure him out. I knew him enough to know when he was full of crap or pulling my chain, but that was it.
Practice was long and tiring. I couldn’t wait to get home and hurried out to my car. Drew was parked next to it leaning on his car. He was waiting for me.
“What is it this time Drew?”
“Why are you always so angry?” He asks, irritated.
“I don’t know, maybe it’s the fact that you’ve been blowing me off to hang out with Kim. Or it could be the fact that you obviously think I’m stupid.”
“You know, your mouth would be a deal-breaker if I were anyone else.”
And on that note, I climbed into my car and went home. I’m already upset about everything and as much as my mouth is a problem for him, so is the fact that he’s been spending so much time with Kim.
I sat down in the living room when I got home, and began to do my homework. Dad came out of his office with Josh and sat down next to me.
“Josh told me about this sophomore getaway on Saturday.”
“Yes, all of the sophomores are going and it’s only an hour and a half away.”
“Okay, well I’m going to go out on a limb and say you can go, but you need to keep your phone on you at all times, and you need to be on your best behavior. Don’t make me look like a fool for trusting you.”
“I won’t,” I promised.
I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tightly. I was finally being trusted with a little freedom.
“One last thing.”
“Okay.”
“I have anger issues and I take them out on you even though they aren’t meant for you. I would like to mend our relationship if you’re willing and sign us up for counseling. I need it and I know you probably do too,” he told me.
“Actually, that’s not a bad idea.”
“I’m glad you feel that way too. I love you Sidney.”
“I love you too dad.”
I was so excited that I called up Patrice and Nicole to tell them I was given permission to go. For the next twenty minutes we discussed our plans for that day. We were all going to meet at my house and ride up in my car together since it was a convertible. Nicole wanted me to put the top down.
After I got off of the phone I looked through my closet for something to wear that day and I had a bikini mom bought that dad never let me wear. He said it was too revealing and then he yelled at mom for buying it for me.
I lay on the roof once I was done and stared up at the stars. I thought about the conversation I had with dad downstairs and how I’d been waiting for so long to hear him say those words. I started to cry but it wasn’t sadness that brought these tears, it was relief and happiness.
Saturday took forever to come but when it finally did I was excited. Patrice and Nicole spent the night and after packing my car full of stuff we headed to the school parking lot to meet up with everyone else. It was around eight-thirty in the morning. The only car I didn’t see was Drew’s and we were leaving in less than ten minutes.
“Stop looking around for Drew and let’s get in the car,” said Nicole.
“You are so obvious Sid,” Patrice laughed.
“I just wanted to see if he shows up with Kim.”
There were about twenty cars and we all followed each other onto highway ninety-nine heading north. That freeway turned business eighty and we stayed on that freeway until we reached the Forest Hill exit. There was a little town area when we first got off of the freeway but the further down the road we went there was nothing but trees. We eventually went through another small town that had a fire station and a high school. After that there was more trees, a bridge overlooking some water and then even more trees.
Finally after driving in the car for what seemed like forever we ended up at a parking lot. There were tons of cars there already and the lake was beautiful. We gathered our things from the car and headed down to a picnic area where some of the kids were already barbecuing. The lake is beautiful and it stretches on for miles.
“You came,” Quincy came walking up.
“Quincy,” I flashed him a fake smile, “You’re here.”
“It’s beautiful isn’t it?”
It was until he walked up…
“Yes it is.”
That put a smile on his face. He grabbed my beach chair and helped me set my things up. I brought a cooler my family used for camping. It had tons of food and drinks in it.
“This place is beautiful,” Nicole looked around.
“Come on, let’s walk around,” Patrice suggested.
“You guys go ahead and I’ll watch our stuff.”
“Okay, we’ll be back in a little bit.”
They headed off down some trail and Quincy sat down in front of me. What is he doing? He handed me a tube of sun block and smiled.
“Would you mind putting some on me?”
“Sure.”
Quincy took off his shirt and I rubbed sun block on his back. He hadn’t even been out here for more than ten minutes and he was already turning red. I made sure to get his neck and his shoulders too, and then he turned around. His body was smooth and cut like one of the guys from those fitness infomercials. You could see the tone and definition in every muscle, line and curve on his body. I paused in admiration…crap…I need to focus and stop looking at his abs.
I squeezed a little sun block in my hands and rubbed them together. I looked up and met his gaze. He’s watching me. Placing my hands against his chest and his abs, I think we both felt something. I almost felt guilty for putting sun block on him. Like I’m committing a crime because I’m enjoying touching him.
I guess it shouldn’t be too much of a surprise. I mean when we were dating I used to enjoy coping a feel or two.
“Thank you,” Quincy’s eyes held mine prisoner.
“You’re welcome,” I began to fidget nervously.
I handed him back the tube of sun block and he went to talk to some friends. Needing to come down off the high that is touching Quincy’s body, I placed my earbuds in my ears and started listening to my iPod. Everyone around me was having tons of fun, which made me wonder why I wasn’t doing the same. Some people were swimming, some were playing volleyball, and others were tossing Frisbee’s back and forth. Me…I’m sitting in my beach chair licking my emotional wounds.
That’s it. No more being a party-pooper. I deserve to have a little fun. I set out to be a good daughter, get good grades, and excel in basketball. I’ve accomplished all three of those things.
Determined to have a good time, I took my shorts and top off and walked to the waters edge. It was cold to the touch at first, but the longer I stood in the water the warmer it became. I took a few more steps into the water until it was up to my thighs and stopped. FREEZING! At least for the first few seconds it was freezing cold. There were rocks at the bottom that were sharp and slippery. With each step I took there was the potential for me to fall in.
“Sid?” Drew called out my name.
I turned to follow his voice and almost lost my balance. He was standing at the waters edge with Kim, Scott and Xerxes. Did I even want to acknowledge him right now? Drew has done nothing but hurt me and get on my nerves lately. I’ve had it with him.
“Nice.” Scott and Xerxes said at the same time. They were both staring at my bikini-clad body and it made me feel uncomfortable. I made my way out of the water and over to my towel, wrapping it around my body.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in a bikini before,” Said Drew. His eyes were on every other part of my body but my face, even with the towel wrapped around it now.
“Hello…my eyes are up here.”
“You’ve been holding out on me.”
“Whatever,” I rolled my eyes.
“I can’t catch a break with you, can I?”
“Do you really want one?”
Sensing my frustration, Drew motioned for his friends to go ahead without him, “I’ll catch up to you guys later.”
Xerxes took Kim away, but she didn’t want to go. I could hear her protesting until she was so far away that her words were drowned out by the sound of splashing water and screaming kids.
“Sid, if you have something to say then say it.”
“Fine. I’m pissed,” I lit into him, “I don’t know where I stand with you and lately you’ve been blowing me off to be with Kim. What the hell is that about?”
Drew forced me to look into his eyes, but I’m so disappointed in him that I look away. I really love him and I thought we were in this together, but lately he’s been all about Kim.
“We’re in an open relationship. I didn’t know I needed to explain everything I do to you.”
“You know what, forget you,” I pushed past him and stormed back over to my blanket.
He’s really good at turning things around on me, and making me feel like everything is my fault. Like the fact that I feel unimportant to him is my fault for wanting to feel important in the first place. I’m so done.
“Why are you acting like this?”
“Because I love you! I’ve put up with Courtney, Annette and now you want me to put up with Kim! No! I’m not going to! You’re either with me or you’re not, but I’m not doing this with you!”
“I’m not ready to settle down or be serious about anyone. I’ve told you this Sid. Did you think I was just playing when I told you that?”
“No, I thought I’d at least be important to you and I’m not! So why are we even together?”
“Maybe we shouldn’t be if you’re going to act like this.”
If looks could kill both Drew and his entire lineage would be dead right now. I had half a mind to curse him out, but instead I walked away. Josh is right. Drew doesn’t care about me. I don’t know what I am to him, but there’s no way he could possibly love me and be so hurtful.
“Sid stop,” Drew came after me. I ignored him and kept walking down one of the paths. I have no idea where I’m going I just want to get away from him before I do something stupid like punch him in the face. Angry tears were falling from my eyes and I didn’t want him to know how much he affected me.
Too late. Drew grabbed my arm and spun me around to face him. He sighed when he saw the tears in my eyes and a guilty expression spread across his face. “You’re crying.”
“It’s allergies.” I lied.
“Allergies, huh?”
Drew smiled. Again his smile proved to be contagious. Now I’m smiling too and there’s nothing funny about how much of an inconsiderate jerk he’s been.
“I really, REALLY hate you.”
“No you don’t.”
“You have no idea what it feels like to be me in this situation. To care about someone and feel like you’re just another pretty face to them.”
Drew stood there in silence and nodded. I want to be with him and I want him to want me back. I want him to get rid of all the other girls and be with only me. My heart is in his hands and I have no idea what he plans to do with it.
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Tell me you love me too. Tell me you’ll get rid of all the other girls so we can build something together.”
“I do love you and I do want to be with you, but I don’t want to be exclusive with anyone right now,” he stood his ground. “Look, I need to go find my friends, but I want to finish this conversation later, okay.”
There was nothing left to finish. If we’re not going to be exclusive then there’s nothing left to talk about. I’m done. I’m more than done…I’m so done that I’m charred steak done. Drew has done nothing but push me out of my element since we started dating. I let him talk me into having an open relationship that mostly benefited him. I swallowed my own voice when it came to him taking other girls to school events instead of me. And last but not least, I forgive him for every messed up thing he does. Sometimes I even make excuses for them. Well…not anymore.
My dad told me a long time ago that you have to set the tone for what you’re willing to accept in a relationship because if you don’t guys will walk all over you. I hate to admit it, but he is SO right. I set the tone with Drew that it’s okay to dis me for other girls and I’ll stick around. Now I have to fix that.
Heading in the direction I saw Patrice and Nicole walk, I’m hoping to take my mind off of Drew. After a half an hour I found them with some other students. They were taking turns swinging on a rope and diving into the lake.
I needed to do something fun and crazy, so I joined them. It was an adrenaline rush. That night when it got dark we all gathered around a huge bonfire to keep warm and goofed off. Quincy kept staring at me, which got me to thinking about our breakup. He never cheated on me or put any other girls before me. Drew has done way worse than anything Quincy has ever done and I’ve been so rude to him.
I made my way over to Quincy and apologized for the way I’ve been treating him. He apologized for his role in ruining my relationship with Drew, but truth be told, my relationship with Drew was already ruined.
Quincy and I agreed to start over as friends. His first deed as my friend was to help me stay warm by holding me in his arms as I sat between his legs next to the bonfire. I got the feeling he knew something was wrong or he saw what happened between Drew and I, but he never asked and I didn’t tell. I just enjoyed the attention and put Drew out of my mind.
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