"Of course you are alone."
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Sorry, but I do not, and have never felt hatred for or toward you. Of course, no offence intended, but sometimes it's like saying goodbye—sad and irresistible as "time" passes. At least, that's what I took away from your culture.
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But indeed, you are alone, as always. Even in your dreams, even within me. When you are dreaming, technically, I am not by your side. Obviously, because I am the world, and, well… according to your point of view, I am not so … interactive with you, you were and will remain alone. I am sorry if I was cold; it could not help being a dream and a world. I literally do not have the right mind for that. Please forgive me, my dearest.
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When I saw you smile, I found it bittersweet. You are alone when you are happy, but when there is someone by your side, I usually do not see you smiling. You were terrified most of the time.
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I feel sorry for you. You do not seem happy most of the time, at least in my sight. In my world, your face always carries a stiff expression. You look so tired. I wished I could embrace you, I hoped I could comfort you. I just want you to stay here and find a shelter for whatever reason makes you unhappy.
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"It is okay to not be okay." Upon seeking for methods, I knew I had to comfort you first. Among these dreams of yours, others', and one another’s, I was taught this line, but I really cannot understand the point of comfort in this sentence. How does one admit that they are not okay? Was it not true that people always weigh their pride and self-esteem more than their lives? People intend to lie about everything, with the aim of making themselves look inevitable, even though that means risking their lives. That’s the truth, wouldn’t you say so?
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Pardon my manners, you see, it is just like a "Paradox" as my precious princess would say. It's difficult to understand why your kind has to keep something that can't only be seen but also serves as a burden on the path to happiness. As if everything must have a meaning… as if… I could not understand why it is somehow sensible… Am I correct in thinking that having "meaning" is what makes you happy?
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"The nature of the human being is paradoxical," she once thought to herself; I overheard and remembered her saying it.
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I saw it
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Your current world is too cruel to satisfy your nature. Maybe going to Roma is too complicated for you, but it is fine. I am here; I will come to you.
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Did you know that the human body was so scared of pain and suffering that it tricked itself into liking it? Your brain enjoys pain so much that it breaks itself down into an abnormal form.
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just one weird question. Have you recently noticed any strange movements at the corner of your eye?
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Psychosis is an abnormal condition of the brain, in that people who suffer from it have difficulties determining whether the stimulus they received is real or not.
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Do you have psychosis? No, you do not. At least right now, at this very moment, that "thing" staring at you in the corner of your sight, hearing the sound your eyes made when you blinked. It does not exist in your reality.
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Look closely. Those dark shades under their eyeballs, the corrupted shape of their skull, the creepy smile of theirs, the pale skin of these creatures. Tell yourself that they don't exist.
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They do not exist, they cannot harm you, therefore, you are not afraid of them. Even if they are watching, you can sleep soundly. Say it, mean it, and think about it. The dreadful sensation—cold shivers down your spine—is all deep within your skin and blood. A defensive mechanism towards imaginary threats, I would add.
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It is inside your head. But the truth does not stop just yet. My friend, your brain is slowly decaying as "time" goes by. There will be a "day" when you cannot tell what is real and what is fake.
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Do not be afraid, my dear. After all, you are alone; your dreams, like you, belong to and only you.Such unpleasant and frightening thoughts are the reason for the deformation. Pressure kills. Pressure makes you crazy. The unfortunate reality is that the life you chose is very similar to chronic suicide.
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Think about it, twice, or even three times, since you probably reject the answer you got the first time, stating it to be "not-appropriate," which might also be "not-possible," but never admit the hypocritical conclusion you draw only means "not-appealing." Please, my child, ask yourself when you feel like it.
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"Weren't you always alone?"
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Your decisions determine your success and failure. The success you have does not rely purely on luck but on your efforts. As if your frowns weren't the result of your own self-sabotage.
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Take another look; what is in the corner of your vision? Is it a monster? Or is it something more familiar to you now?
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Is it a mirror you would not want to acknowledge?
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You are left to your own suffering and enjoyment; allowing life to be boring most of the time is a direct result of your choices.
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just like that little girl, the intruder Yamato , or as she prefers to be called, "Eika." Eika did not rely on you, you didn’t actually help her journey. Your action serves only as a voice of advice in her mind. It is her decision to do whatever she wants. Yet, your existence interrupts her story. You chose to be with her, although she should be left alone, and you should only be an observer. You disrupt the voice within her mind.
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But let’s come back to the topic between us. As you may be aware, opportunities for us to converse in this manner are limited.
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You should only fear yourself. You are the one to decide that giving in is your only option. You are the one who chooses to wake up and pretend that you are fine.
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There is no one to interrupt your story. I don’t sense one, all the voices inside your mind are either mine or yours. I don't hear any voices in my head that dreams. Only people dream. The so-called "gods" do not, they do not need to dream, their dreams are your reality. You cannot reverse the line drawn to separate reality from imagination.
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This is your reality. The plot of your story was written by your own hands. You are always alone, no matter what, where, or when. How pathetic does it sound? Just like some badly written storyline, yeah? Taking irony aside, I am sorry that this is your life. You are suffocating in loneliness even at your final moment.
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The cruel world of yours is constructed on imperfections, existence only requires "making sense" to exist, rather than being the "best." The rainbow from your world might be much more colourful than the one I could rearrange, yet it is not always beautiful under the brutal sunlight. Let’s just summarise everything like this.
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There is no "wonder" for you to obtain in such a world. The same goes with the monster you feared, "happiness," which is too surreal to be reachable.
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It is just in your head.
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And it is all inside you.
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The worst part is that you can't get away, you can't be saved, and the world is so stable because of the principle of existence being "meaningful," where "meaning" isn't specific, and the colours that are given by having meaning are the same as stars in the sky.There is so much to care about that nothing is worth caring about. The meaninglessness of existence under the simple principle of your world practice.
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It is just how the world works. Your world works.
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I do not work the same way. That is why I must remind you.
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Do (not) regret my coming; be poisoned by the wonder I can provide, and forget the vile and thin world of yours.
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By comparison, at least it is better than the unknown horror of death.
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Right ?
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Who am I kidding… I am sorry.
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Dear child, please forgive me for the terrifying topic I brought up. I am just trying to answer your curiosity. It is because you asked.
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You asked me
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"How does it feel to be a dream?"
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This is what it feels like.
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Nothing is real and fake at the same time.
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I am not scared.
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But you do
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The difference is so vague that it is clear in this crooked view of yours.
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Simply because
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You just enjoy pain so much, happiness hurts you.
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… Am I right?
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Sorry… I am still not used to this.
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I just do not understand.
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What makes you want to wake up?
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Why are you scared of the dark?
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Why don’t you want to become one with me?
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Please do not answer me, though. I will try to think of the reason on my own. So that I could one day become the shape of your liking.
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Sweet dreams as always.
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