I gave Drew his space like everyone suggested. It helped that he was absent from school for an entire week. But waiting to see him to find out if we’re still okay was gut wrenching. My stomach was in knots and there was a never-ending pain in my chest where my heart would normally be.
Finally when I pulled into my parking space at school I saw Drew’s car there. He was smiling and talking to friends when I approach him, but as soon as he saw me his smile quickly faded.
“Can we talk?”
He stared at me like I was a disease. Sensing the tension between us, his friends left to give us some privacy.
“Calling my grandma Bert is not going to save our relationship Sidney, you shouldn’t have done that.”
“I was desperate. I couldn’t talk to you and I needed to…”
“To what? Were you hoping she’d talk me into staying with you because if so you wasted your time…and hers.” He snapped at me.
“You’re punishing me for something that wasn’t my fault.”
“So if a girl kisses me and I don’t push her away it’s not my fault either, right?”
“Okay, maybe I didn’t react quick enough and maybe I was in shock for too long but I didn’t enjoy it,” I tried to reason with him, “And I didn’t ask him to kiss me.”
“You did something to make him think it was okay.”
“I didn’t, I swear.”
“Save it okay, I’m done.”
“I’m telling you the truth?”
“You don’t get to make a fool out of me and then expect me to stay Sidney.”
“I didn’t betray you Drew.”
“Right,” he nods and walks away from me.
I want to stop him but I know it won’t make a difference what I say. Once he put his mind to something, that was it and right now he’s done.
I headed to class but couldn’t stop thinking about how hurt Drew looked. He’d finally started to let me in and now that part of him is closed off to me once again. I would never do anything to hurt him, and I knew how much my being there for him meant to him. Quincy had no right to take that away. And now his sister needs tutoring again. I have half a mind to let her flunk, but that would only make me just as petty as he is, ugh! FML!
Without Drew, nothing seems right anymore. Holding a ball, my academics, and simply being here no longer appeals to me. My grades began to slip and my teachers began to worry about me. They reached out to my parents who sat me down and told me to basically suck it up and get focused or else. It’s easier said than done.
Drew invaded all of my senses and thoughts. EVERY. LAST. ONE. I tried texting, calling and apologizing to him over and over again. It didn’t matter.
When my grades didn’t come back up, dad blamed it on the fact that he allowed me to date. He got into an argument with mom about it, who tried to explain to him that I was heartbroken, not disobedient. Eventually dad had the Taylor’s come over for a sit down and Drew came too. I’m not sure what good it’s going to do, but I’m willing to try.
“Now is the time for you to say everything you have to say to one another and fix this. Your basketball career is suffering and now so is Sidney’s grades. I’m not asking the two of you to be friends or to get back together but I do expect that once you leave this table everything will go back to normal am I clear?” Dad addresses us both.
“Yes sir,” Drew and I said in unison.
“Good, now talk.”
Drew and I stare at each other, but neither of us said a word. I didn’t know what to say to him and the feeling is mutual.
“Its nice to see you both taking initiative,” Drew’s Dad, chuckles.
“I’m sorry I hurt you,” I spoke first, “ I didn’t mean to.”
“Apology accepted,” Drew replied.
“Tell me what to do to fix this and I’ll do it.”
“You can’t,” He shrugs, “I want nothing to do with you right now.”
Pain meet cause. I wish I could go back in time to prevent that kiss from ever happening. If only life were that simple. I looked over at my mom and I wanted to cry but I wasn’t a crier. She looked like she wanted to cry for me. Moments later she had tears in her eyes. It hurt her just to see me hurt.
“It was just a kiss,” Drew’s dad points out, “She obviously feels bad about it, so why not give it another shot?”
“Sure. Right after you give mom one,” Drew replies.
The room grew quiet and everyone exchanged glances. “It’s okay Mr. Taylor. If he doesn’t want to work things out then I don’t want anyone to push him into it.”
“If you wanted to work things out then you shouldn’t have kissed Quincy.”
“I’m sorry, I don’t know what else you want me to say,” I apologized for the millionth time. “He kissed me, whether you want to believe me or not. I didn’t kiss him. And if I’m guilty of anything it’s being so caught of guard that I didn’t slap him as soon as his lips touched mine. But it won’t happen again.”
“I don’t want you to say anything I just want to be left alone.”
I looked over at my dad and he reached out to hold my hand. I’m losing Drew over nothing and the one person who could set this straight won’t.
“Fine, I won’t bother you anymore.”
“Can I go now?”
“Yes,” his dad nods.
Drew got up from the table and left. I have no idea how I’m going to get over him and if that’s even possible.
“Are you going to be okay?” Mrs. Taylor asks.
“Not really,” I got up and left the room.
I headed upstairs to put my earbuds in and lay down on the bed to sleep. I kept thinking about Drew so I didn’t end up falling asleep until two in the morning. The next day when Emily woke me up to get ready for school I didn’t want to move.
Somehow I managed to take a shower and get dressed but I wasn’t looking forward to facing Drew again. He’ll probably be surrounded by girls, like he always is. None of them love him as much as I do though. Today is really going to suck.
“Cheer up Sid, it’s not the end of the world,” Josh teases.
“That’s easy for you to say Josh, you and Trisha are still together,” Em defends me.
“Can we just drop the subject?” I ask.
I’m tired of thinking about it. We pull into the school parking lot and I head straight to class. Apparently Drew has the same idea because when I walk in there he sits. I start to say something to him but quickly decide against it. It doesn’t stop me from stealing glances at him though.
Admiring his side profile all I can think to myself is how much I would personally like to take the jerk off who invented romance and stone him to death. There’s no such thing as love-love is an illusion. It’s an unattainable state of idiotic bliss that only happens in movies. In real life, love is a moment. As soon as it is given to you, it can be taken away with little to no explanation. Love is cold, it’s merciless and it’s unapologetic.
Drew started hanging out with Kimberly Caldwell and every smile he gave her tormented me. Every time he would touch her, a part of me would die a silent death. Being in love is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. No…I take that back. Being in love is amazing if you entrust your heart to the right person. It’s falling out of love that makes life utterly unbearable.
I felt like I was in love’s hell watching him hug her and kiss her wishing I were Kimberly. I wondered if she’d been taken to meet grandma Bert and if she spent the night at her house the way I did. In short, I’m making myself sick over Drew and I don’t know how to stop.
Even basketball isn’t the same without him. No matter how hard I tried I just can’t get my head on straight. It feels like he’s sucked the life right out of me.
“Bobby invited me to go to the movies with him only we would have to bring his cousin along. His cousin agreed to go but only if we found him a date and I was hoping you would help me out.” Said Nicole.
“Are you really asking me to double date with you, Bobby and his cousin?”
“Please,” she begged me.
“The last thing I want to do is go out with someone.”
“Then do it for me. It would mean a lot to me if you did.”
Nicole’s parents are just about as strict as mine, so I know how much this means to her. As much as I didn’t want to, I agreed to the movie. It’s free so why not?
“Okay, but he better not be ugly.”
“He won’t be I promise,” Nicole laughs.
I passed by Drew and Kim on my way to first period and regretted even looking in their direction. The less I knew or was aware of the better. I took my seat next to Quincy who I wanted to kill and waited for class to start. I thought about purposely screwing up my assignment to get back at him, but that would hurt me too.
“You look like you’re still mad,” said Quincy.
“Really, because I was going for the homicidal maniac look,” I replied sarcastically.
“Let me make it up to you.”
“Fine, tell Drew I didn’t kiss you.”
“Do you really think it’ll matter at this point?”
“Tell him and we’ll find out.”
“Please accept my apology.”
“You and your apology can kiss my you know what.”
I turned my attention to completing our assignment and getting out of this class as quickly as possible. Quincy sighed, closing his eyes. Was he was finally going to tell Drew the truth about what happened?
“It wasn’t all my idea you know. There are people around you and Drew who don’t want the two of you together.”
“Like who?”
“I can’t tell you.”
“Then stop talking to me until you can.”
Quincy closed his eyes again and exhaled deeply. Whoever it was, I wasn’t going to talk to him until I knew. Together they systematically destroyed my heart and now I’m out for blood.
“Fine,” Quincy caved, “It wasn’t just me. Scott is involved too. He’s so jealous of you and Drew that he helped me cheat on a test, and then threatened to tell if I didn’t help break you two up. Then there’s your brother.”
“Josh?” I narrowed my eyes at him.
“Yeah. Josh gave me a hundred dollars to go through with it after he overheard us talking about it. He said Drew was bad for you.”
I expected something like this from Scott, but Josh? I could barely stifle the anger boiling inside me. MY OWN BROTHER DID THIS TO ME?
During my next three class periods I could hardly focus on anything. I felt like a ticking time bomb that was going to burst at any moment. When I met up with Em and Nicole I couldn’t even pretend to smile.
“What’s wrong Sid? You look like you’re about to go kill Bill on someone,” Em noticed.
“That’s an understatement,” I searched the halls.
“Did you hear that Drew’s moving to Louisiana with his dad?” Asked Patrice.
“What?” My heart went into panic mode.
“Coach Treggle was upset about it and someone overheard him trying to get Drew to stay.”
I had to talk to Drew, NOW. I can handle him being around and ignoring me, but I can’t handle him moving to the other side of the country. Quickly making my way to the cafeteria, I scanned the room until I found him. I walked over to him and his smile faded.
“Is it true?”
“Is what true?”
“Are you moving to Louisiana with your dad?”
“Who told you?” He asked, irritated.
“Why, were you just going to leave without saying anything to me?”
“I don’t owe you any explanation.”
Drew is still angry with me and I should probably leave well enough alone, except I can’t. What we have is worth fighting for. I got in his face, purposely invading his personal space and forced him to look me in the eyes.
“I can’t let you leave.”
“Why? I’m sure Quincy can keep you company when I’m gone.”
“I’m don’t want Quincy. I want you.”
“You had me,” he scoffed, “Now, thanks to you and my mom I don’t ever want to get close to another girl for as long as I live.”
“Drew, if the shoe were on the other foot I’d at least give you the benefit of the doubt. Can’t you do that for me?”
“I know what you’re doing and it’s not going to work,” he shakes his head. “You betrayed me and now you want to keep me here for your own selfish reasons.”
“You’re right, I do, but that doesn’t make anything that I’m saying to you a lie. I guarantee you that if you leave you’ll be making a big mistake. I don’t care what Quincy and that stupid little video kiss looked like. My heart is and has always been with you.”
“You have a funny way of showing it.”
I sighed heavily. Nothing I was saying was getting through to him and he was still just as bitter and angry as he was the night it happened.
“Don’t give up on us. Some things are worth fighting for.”
“And then there are other things you should let go of.”
“I’m not giving up on you.”
“Oh yeah? How are you going to keep me here?”
“I don’t know,” I shrug, “let the air out of all your tires.”
Drew starts laughing. A temporary moment of frustration led to me saying something completely retarded but it was the break in the ice I needed and I knew I had him at that point.
“If you let the air out of my tires you’re going to owe me two grand,” he smiles.
“Then don’t make me.”
“I don’t know if I can forgive you Sid.”
“I just want a chance to earn your trust back.”
Drew looked like he was actually thinking about it. His eyes gave away the internal conflict he was having with himself.
“You forgave me for Annette so I’ll try to forgive you for Quincy.”
I didn’t really expect to get anywhere with him and now I’m in shock. I wrapped my arms around him and squeezed as hard as I could. It felt like I’d been holding my breath that whole time and now I can breathe again.
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