When I was still living at the apartment complex, I let a young man named Ron crash on my couch for several months. He was a friend of a friend and down on his luck. Turns out he was an alcoholic and addicted to opiates. In December of that year, he came home with a young woman he had met at the convenience store gas station. He asked if she could stay until the first of the year. They became intimate. Trina woke me up at 1:30 Christmas morning. Ron was out cold in the bathroom. She had given him heroin. I knew nothing about that horrible drug. I called 911, and they took him to the hospital to save his life. The next day, he went off on me. He accused me of attempting to seduce Trina, which was a fabrication of his mind. Opiates. I kicked him out. The first week of January, she asked if I could help out two of her friends. This is when George and Maggie Jo came into my life. Today, they’re both 51. At that time, they had been a couple for several years. Trina left a week later. They had been living with a man who hadn’t paid the rent and were evicted. George is a very gifted carpenter and an excellent guitar player, Maggie Jo didn’t work. They were both heroin addicts, which they told me after the first night. I’m a decent judge of character and liked the two of them from the start. We were always honest with one another and seldom fought. They’re both highly intelligent and had traveled with the Grateful Dead until Jerry died.
I was working full-time in the cellular industry and had started collecting social security. I became what is called an enabler. George had no full-time employment and only worked 2 jobs as long as I knew him. Maggie Jo would go to major retailers and boost, i.e. shoplift, to support their habit. They shot up every day. We lived together in my single bedroom apartment for 5 years. I would loan them money periodically, which I kept track of in my phone. Early in our relationship, George built a deck and paid me back the dollars I had loaned them. So I had no problem loaning them money, as I couldn't stand seeing them dope sick. I never charged them anything to live with me. One evening, George fell out. He had accidentally taken fentanyl. I wanted to call 911. Maggie Jo said, “No! We can save him.” She’s throwing water on him, and I’m hitting him so hard, I was afraid of breaking his sternum. After 10 minutes or so, he came out of it. We saved his life. We were evicted for failure to pay rent and I lost my car. They ended up owing me over $5000. Their addiction eventually cost me everything I owned. I truly harbor no ill will, I helped them because this is my nature. I know as we give, we are given too. It’s just stuff anyway.
We experienced good fortune at that time, George’s father was quite well-off financially and bought the home George had grown up in. His parents were divorced, and his mother had moved into a condo. His dad only charged us $500 a month. This was a nice home. Big front porch, completely furnished, two bedrooms, huge backyard and a double garage. I paid the rent and all utilities. Our section of the neighborhood was pleasant, three blocks down it was a ghetto. The home turned into a crack house after a month. I tried crack several times but couldn't see paying for it, way too expensive. If it was offered, I accepted. I did a little, not much. A black man named Murphy would come in every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night for the two years we lived there. He was a crack and heroin dealer, friends with George and Maggie Jo. At least thirty people would come through, every weekend. Murphy made thousands of dollars. I stayed in my room. The toilet became clogged and no one would repair it, I certainly would have, but naturally didn’t have the skill set. Everyone relieved themselves in garbage bags for over a month. The stench became so bad, I’d finally had enough. I retrieved a big plastic container from the basement and with George’s help placed the toilet in it. We found a used commode and installed it. Addicts were only interested in getting the next hit and nothing else. I developed a pain in my lower back and went to a 24-hour clinic. The doctor determined I had a mild case of arthritis. I asked for meds and was told they do not offer anything for pain. What ? I asked M.J. for a shot of heroin, and she gave me an eighth of what they did. The pain was that bad. The second day I took another shot and was feeling better. Maggie Joe asked if I wanted a third hit and I refused, explaining the pain was gone. I was at work and became horribly sick. I felt like I had a bad flu. Vomiting, shaking, sweating and diarrhea. I was experiencing withdrawals after only two days of use. This drug is horrible, and I swore to never touch it again. Seventeen of their friends have overdosed and died in the prior 5 years.
I was dismissed from my job because the new manager simply didn't like me. The reason was, I didn't show up to work. No call, no show. We had a new scheduling platform, he had changed the schedule, and I wasn't aware. I feel he was intimidated by my knowledge and experience. I was also aware of some shady dealings he had with our customers. I was fairly good friends with the V.P. and if I had called him I would have retained my job and the manager would have been fired. I didn't as I could make ends meet with unemployment and was tired of Corporate America anyway.
I was 65, this occurred 6 years ago. George's dad evicted us from the home in February. He had taken two months of the $500 I gave him and used it to buy crack. We were given a week to leave. George sold his mother's ice and water refrigerator for $50. A nice smooth top electric range for $20 and my Olympic weight set for $10. I lost all my furniture. Maggie Jo told me after the fact that George had turned down work. He loved his crack. My old boss, who was an operation manager for AT&T, found out about my situation through a mutual friend. Josh said I could move in with him and his roommate. I paid $500 a month and enjoyed a very pleasant setup in the basement. The home was a farmhouse out in the country. I was out of the ghetto. George and Maggie Jo were homeless.
I lived with Josh and Chad for a year. Josh received notice from the owner that we had a couple of weeks to vacate. He was turning the home into an office for his farm. I had nowhere to go. My credit was blown, and I was considering the Y.M.C.A. I called my daughter Tracy. She found me a pleasant apartment back in my hometown. Her best friend was married to my landlord. He offered an extremely low rent for a pleasanttwo-bedroom apartment. I feel this was a miracle. I refer to this dwelling as “Our Fortress of Solitude” and “Our Sacred Sanctuary”. I stayed in touch with George and Maggie Jo. They had lived in a tent or crashed briefly with friends and were still heavy users.
Two and a half years ago, I was sitting on my back porch and heard,“Bob.”
It was Ron. What? The last thing I’d heard, he was married and living in Colorado. He asked if he could briefly move in. I told him No. Living with him in Columbus was not a pleasant experience. He said he had changed, but I still refused. I very much enjoyed living alone. After what I had gone through, I loved a peaceful life. He and his wife were separated, and he had relatives in the Ohio Valley. He had been living in someone's closet a couple of blocks down. Several days later, in the morning, he’s on my back porch. He’d stayed all night. The people he had been living with had kicked him out. He begged me to move in, which would be very temporary. I agreed under one condition. He must get a job and pay me $250 a month rent. The next day he was employed at Arby’s. I’m thinking this is going to work out. The first day, he told the manager he would not run a register with another. Several years prior, he’d had a bad experience and had been accused of stealing. So the first day he’s trying to change corporate policy. He worked 3 weeks and quit because he knew more than the manager. I asked him to leave. His father has a high-paying job in Columbus and paid me the $250 rent. Ron is a total alcoholic. After one high test, eight percent beer, he’s drunk. His liver is totally shot. He’d start drinking first thing in the morning and the whining would start. He’s 34 and has been through two car windshields due to Xanax. He and his wife had slept under bridges. He would never love anyone but her, and he’ll win her back. He’s proud of being jailed 17 times. He’s an excellent carpenter, but everybody takes advantage of his skills. I heard about his wife and life dozens of times, over and over and over. The first time I heard him speaking with his wife, he said, “Show Bob your breasts.” I said,” Not interested.” Several weeks later, she sent him a picture of her holding their dead, bloody cat that had been hit by a car. I asked him to quit drinking in the day, he refused. He would turn on every light in the apartment, including the closets. He switched the oven to high and opened the door because he was freezing. He couldn't remember anything between the ages of 19 and 21 because he’s a victim of C.I.A. mind control and had been taught to be a professional assassin. One night, he used a pair of scissors and slashed his arm, the blood was everywhere. Right then, I should have called 911. He’d stay out all night, prowling. He found an abandoned house and brought in folding chairs, chests, tools, a weight set and other junk. He labeled everything with his name. He put Ron's Beer in black marker on the refrigerator crisper. He labeled the toothpaste. He's a very intelligent, kind, hard-working, giving and caring man when he’s sober. He’s always drunk. His cousin and the one friend he had would plead with him to stop drinking. I asked him to leave numerous times, He’d say, “I love you man, I’ll change”. He didn’t. My peace was shattered, so in frustration I called the police and explained the situation. They came over and had a talk with him, which he couldn't remember because he was drunk. The police told me the only way to get him out would be for the landlord to get an attorney. I had an Ace in the hole. He’d missed a court date concerning child support from his ex-wife. I told him, “If you don’t stop drinking, I’ll call the police when the warrant hits”. “I love you, man, you won’t do that.” The warrant hit, I called the police. The last time I saw him, he was in handcuffs and barefoot in the winter, as he didn't need his shoes. All this occurred a year and 9 months ago. 2 months ago, he contacted me on Facebook. He’s gotten a good paying job and has been sober for 9 months. He joined AA. He’s had one slip up. Several months ago, something upset him. He’d had one drink and lost 5 days. When he sobered up, he realized drinking would kill him. Soon. He told me he’d remembered something I’d told him. I had said the definition of insanity is one making the same mistakes, over and over and over, and expecting a different result. He said it occurred to him, he really enjoyed helping others, thus the reason for staying sober. Next month he’s chairing a month of meetings, and he’s speaking with his wife. He said one of the best things that’s ever happened to him was me calling the police as the jail time forced him off alcohol.
Ron taught me a valuable lesson, I was proud of myself, thinking that nothing could take away my peace. He not only took it away, he shattered it. I asked the Holy Spirit what was that all about? Had I forgiven him? Yes. Would I ever live with him again? No. If others are dealing with massive ego issues, always be kind, offer advice, pray for and forgive them, never argue. But don’t let them get too close because they’ll start demanding all your attention and become angry if you’re not responding in kind. Only Jesus and the Holy Spirit can cause all to work for the good for all, always. Since I’ve forgiven Ron completely, the lesson is learned and learned well. I will never have to go through an experience like that again. Our job is to plant seeds, the Divine will cause the seeds to grow. This is the purpose of my writings.
Two years and several months ago, Maggie Jo called me. We had been talking every month or so. She had been diagnosed with cancer and had a total mastectomy. George became paralyzed from the waist down and was very fortunate. He had ended up in a major hospital, and one of the best neurosurgeons in the nation was on call. He's undergone a complex procedure and the surgeon placed numerous rods in his spine. He could walk, but was in a lot of pain. They were still homeless, but Maggie Jo’s sister said she could live with her in Colorado and have her cancer treated. But no George. M.J. asked me if George could temporarily live with me. She loved him deeply and would not leave him unless he was taken care of. I said,” Sure.” A friend drove M.J. and George down. Maggie Jo hugged me and said a tearful goodbye to George. She left for Columbus, then Colorado. George was in an immense amount of pain and could barely walk. I asked if he’d like me to get him some beer. He said yes, but would walk with me as he needed to move. It hurt me watching him walk. He only stayed for 3 days, thank God. I’m right back in the scenario I’d just gone through with Ron. He didn't complain at all about his legs or pain. However, when drunk, he pulverized Maggie Jo.” If it wasn't for that woman, I wouldn't be a junkie. My daughter and family want nothing to do with me, because of her. She’s lazy and won't get a job, all I ever did was support her, she didn't care.” On and on and on. I listened to this constantly for three days when he was drinking. Thankfully, he had to go back to Columbus to get a check and didn't return. Talk about a bunch of lies. I lived with them for years and saw exactly what Maggie Jo did for the man. Maggie Jo’s out risking herself by boosting in big box retail stores. She’s a felon and if caught, she’s back in jail. Maggie Jo would never steal from a person but has no problem with retail stores and their big markups, If it wasn't for her, they would have been dope sick all the time. George did nothing but complain. Maggie Jo was always quiet. My God, she wouldn't leave to take care of her own cancer unless George was taken care of. Evidently, he never thought of that. Why were we kicked out of a very nice home? George. The Holy Spirit knew I’d learned my peace lesson with the Ron situation, so I didn’t have to go through it with George.
Maggie Jo’s stay with her sister was horrible. M.J.was the last born and her siblings always held it against her because she was spoiled. We’re talking about supposedly adults here. She said the first couple of days were pleasant but her sister “turned”. She accused M.J. of being on heroin. M.J. was having an ounce of marijuana mailed for her cancer. Her sister told mutual acquaintances it was a pound. What’s the difference ? It's legal in Colorado. Maggie Jo also found out her sister had told flat out lies about her. She was just plain mean. She flew back to Columbus and that's when she called me. This was about 23 months ago. She had known about the whole Ron scenario and brought that up. She told me about Colorado and then asked if she could live here. She assured me she wouldn't disturb my peace. I said I’d sleep on it and let her know the next day. I told her yes with the one stipulation of no heroin. I explained that I remembered what I had said years before, that I will always have your back. She moved in. She still loves George and was optimistic they'd get back together. George regained his mobility and is making a good living as a carpenter. They talked for several months, then George told her he has a girlfriend. She was devastated, blocked him on Facebook, and has had no contact since. Several of her close friends told her she’s better off, I agree. However, rejection still hurts. She’s better now, time does heal all wounds, but it takes time. I know.
Today, if either George or Ron would come back into my life, I would have one of two responses. One could be, “I know what you have done and so do you. I want absolutely nothing to do with you.” The second, “Hello, my old friend, let's have a beer and tell me what’s been going on in your life.” I would choose the latter. By so doing, I would show them they had committed no wrongdoing of consequence to me. By welcoming them, and not judging their past actions, I’m saying to them, “I’m OK, so you’re OK.” Jesus said that to the entire world in all of time when he was dying on the cross. The words, “Father forgive them, they know not what they do.” were for our benefit, for he knew our Father sees nothing to forgive. He was in essence saying to All, “I’m OK, so you’re OK.” Understand?
Months ago, my legs became so painful that I could barely walk. I called the squad and went to the hospital. I assumed they would give some antibiotics and pain meds and send me on my merry way. They did a C Scan and saw what looked like blood clots in my right leg. One doctor was a bit of a jerk and said, “Due to your smoking history, you may be looking at amputation.” Thanks. I was helicoptered to a hospital in Pittsburgh that night. and put on IV’s which brought down the swelling. I had a blockage in my legs and was released in 3 days. Meds manage the poor circulation issue
I told Maggie Jo before she came that she’s going to be bored. She was. In January 2023, she went to her hometown in Michigan. The woman she was boarding with was also her boss. This lady became jealous because Maggie Jo was friends with her boyfriend. M.J. had known this man since childhood and had no romantic interests, and told her so. This didn't matter, and she was asked to leave. At the time I had minor heart surgery, M.J. moved back in and has been an enormous help ever since. This is also cool. I have a small tattoo on my left arm with the infinity symbol and the initials M.J. So I’m living with an M.J and guess what her deceased mother’s name is? Mary Jo. She has made a couple of friends and is not so bored.
Today is 3/15/2024, and I’m finding new spiritual truths unfolding as life experiences dictate. Three months ago, Maggie Jo asked if a young woman named Ashley could crash at our little apartment for a couple of weeks until she could find a new residence. She’s 44 and has two teenage daughters who live in Florida. I agreed, which turned out to be a horrible mistake. Two and a half months ago, I’m taking a nap on a Monday afternoon and a policeman is shining a flashlight in my face. Back in 2017, Maggie Jo and Jordan were on a road trip to California to purchase marijuana. A tire was in the middle of the interstate, so they pulled over to eliminate the safety hazard. An Indiana state patrolman stopped and saw a bit of weed and a pipe on their dashboard, so both were arrested. Jordan had the money to post over a thousand dollar bond. Maggie Jo’s mother posted her bond, and sadly she died soon after. So M.J. didn’t take care of the charge and had an outstanding warrant. Maggie Jo had been watching Ashley’s dog in our backyard without a lease, the cop ran her I.D. and arrested her for the warrant. Next thing I know, I’m in handcuffs for aiding and abetting a fugitive. Ashley had been a Fentanyl dealer, the drug that is killing so very many. Of course, I knew nothing about this. I was booked and spent the night in jail. The judge threw my case out as I’ve never been arrested except for old D.U.I. charges. During this time, I discovered how very precious our faith is, as I never lost my peace.
So now I’m watching Ashley’s dog. I had put up two screens and several chairs on the back porch, so the pit bull couldn’t go down the stairs. This worked for a couple of days and somehow she got out. She’s well-trained and just wanted to play by chasing a mailman. The mail was stopped to the building. The landlord gets wind of all this, and I was given a 30-day notice to leave our apartment three weeks ago. Ashley’s out on bond and Maggie Jo was back on 3/14/2024. I spoke with the landlord, and he said he has always liked me, but I’ve surrounded myself with criminals. He said If I pay an extra $100 a month, I can stay, but I must live alone. Ashley is moving out and Maggie Jo and I have to figure out what to do as she has nowhere to go. My children have also informed me if I continue living with Maggie Jo, they will never speak to me again.
Now, here is where the truths in A Course In Miracles are proven. The Course explains the more we listen to the Holy Spirit, the more suspicious our ego becomes until its insane mindset turns vicious. I have been horribly attacked and have no idea what to do. I’m caught between a rock and a hard place. I prayed this morning, “Holy Spirit, for my highest good and the highest good of all, please resolve this circumstance.” I also prayed, “Jesus must increase, and I must decrease.” And “Father, I do not know what will make me happy, I know Your Will for me is my happiness, so You decide, and I’ll step aside and watch You work.” A great peace has returned, and all will be exactly as the Holy Spirit and Jesus have planned. They have worked with me my entire life and are certainly not about to stop now. When you truly look back on your own life, you will also find this to be more than true.
I wrote this before, but it doesn’t hurt to repeat. Several years ago, I was lethargic and wrote down my employment history. I was recently going through a drawer and found the list. I’ve had 20 different careers. Winston Churchill once said, “Never Give Up; Never, Never, Never.” That’s me, I guess. Considering the amount of big ticket sales I’ve done, I have gained decent communication skills. The end of our ego is our true beginning. I know you will find this to be true.
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