Chapter 15: Hell Was Not Fun
I proceeded to sit on the front porch and started drinking a Little King beer, praying the alcohol would have a calming effect. My next-door neighbor, who I had never talked with for the year I had lived there, came over, sat down, and introduced himself. He was a gay man in a gay relationship. I looked at him and he transformed. His eyes became completely black, and he grew to over ten feet tall while developing wings and hooves. I lied that I was sick, and went inside. After locking the door and taking off my clothes, I crawled into bed. All this occurred on Friday, I came to sanity on Sunday morning. During those lost twenty-four hours, there was no concept of time. I'm visualizing spiders, snakes, bats, smelling sulfur, seeing humans screaming in agony, lakes of fire, feeling intense pain at times in utter blackness. For every good thought, there was an immediate bad thought. My mind was in a continuous loop. Good, bad, good, bad, good, bad. Horrifyingly fast. I remember looking at the clock, it was 9:01. Thinking several hours had passed, looking again, I saw 9:02. One minute.
I recall focusing only on a small constant light and breathing. I truly believed if I stopped breathing, I would be in hell forever. I woke up on Sunday morning, and the first sound I heard were birds singing. I took the PCP and flushed it. The entire experience was so absolutely terrifying that I didn't even smoke weed for over a year.
I explained this to a doctor several years later. He was writing a book about the effects of natural hallucinogens on the human psyche. There are many plants that are known to have hallucinogenic properties. Some of these include Common Reed, Hawaiian Baby Wood Rose Seeds, Magic Mushrooms, Morning Glory Seeds, and Nutmeg. He asked if it was pure PCP. I said yes, explaining it was purchased from the chemist who synthesized it. For some reason, he asked if I was spiritual, and I told him I was Christian. He explained that I had gone catatonic. He had patients who were in mental institutions, put their hand up, and it stays up until you put it down. Their brain is in a horrifying good/bad loop. Most come out of it, a few hadn't. PCP short circuits the synapse of the brain. The doctor said I had experienced a miracle. Yes, I had.
I asked Microsoft Bing what the ingredients are in PCP. “PCP is a synthetic drug that is made from various chemicals, such as piperidine, cyclohexane, and phenyl magnesium bromide. The exact ingredients and methods of making PCP may vary depending on the source and the purity of the product. Some PCP may be mixed with other substances, such as ketamine, or other drugs, to increase its potency or alter its effects. It can also be made with embalming fluid. PCP is a dangerous and illegal substance that can cause serious harm to the user and others. It can affect the brain, the heart, the lungs, the kidneys, and the liver. It can also cause psychological problems, such as paranoia, hallucinations, aggression, and depression. PCP use can lead to addiction, overdose, and death, I strongly advise you not to use PCP or any other illicit drugs.” Advice duly noted.
Before continuing, I should explain what I know is true. Eternal Source did not cause this experience. I did. Source was the light I concentrated on with my right mind and spirit. What I experienced was an extreme attack by my completely insane and lying ego mind. God does not send us trials and is not even aware of this false dream universe. Each mind on the planet, all 9 billion, have the Voice for God within Who causes all circumstances to work out for the good of all, always. You will not think so at the time, but if you sincerely examine your past, you’ll wonderfully discover the times of deep and unrelenting despair always resulted in your greatest spiritual growth. The Stones lyric “You may not get what you asked for, you will get what you need” is very true.
I had been attending church regularly and accepted strongly the existence of Heaven and hell. Up until I became a student of A Course in Miracles, I still believed in hell because I had seen and experienced it. My mind made the whole fabrication up, my ego placed the enemy “out there”. In so doing, I wouldn’t understand, my true enemy is me. I have a growing admiration for the unbelievable power of our mind. As an example, have you ever tried to remember someone's name and couldn't then, days later, the name pops into your head?. All you have seen, heard, tasted, touched and smelled since birth is stored in your subconscious. You consciously put into your database the question and when the answer is found it is given. This is why it is important to dwell and look upon what is good. Put positive in, not negative. I haven’t watched network news for over 20 years due to this very reason.
All the negative propaganda that blasts into the collective human psych is caused by the massive egos who control this world. I used to be deeply involved in researching the Deep State. The obscenely rich and powerful dynasties controlling all kings, rulers, presidents, and politicians in deep secrecy behind the scenes. However, after becoming absorbed in studying The Course, these sad folks are simply no longer of any interest. The crimes they constantly commit against humanity are absolutely sickening, terrifying, and horrible. I once believed if anyone completely deserved eternal agony in hell, it was them. The stunning truth is the Holy Spirit is constantly changing my false perception of this illusory world to one of Divine Wisdom. This will happen to you, but you must knock before the door is opened and ask to receive. Life outside of Heaven is impossible, and our Eternal Source proclaims that absolutely everyone will eventually enter the Kingdom. The power these families have is as nothing compared to the Loving Power of God, who created every atom and universe in existence. These poor souls will experience countless re-incarnations in their dream and will personally experience all the pain they caused others. Perhaps they’ll spend thousands upon thousands of years in dreams to learn and truly comprehend the power of Total Forgiveness and Eternal Love. They’ll eventually learn to forgive and love themselves. Meanwhile, we’ll be blissfully enjoying the perfection of Heaven and exploring all the worlds, galaxies, and universes in our God’s beautiful and magnificent Creation. All Who God Is, Our Father, freely extends to all. We are Christ and Divine’s very first Creation. Everything that exists was lovingly made for us. If God had made anything or anyone imperfect, He/She would no longer be perfect. Therefore, we are perfect and have simply forgotten. Eternal Truth proclaims we’ll be awakened in a cosmic instant immediately after we’ve achieved one hundred percent perfection in forgiveness. We’ll wonderfully and joyfully discover we’re in Heaven, which we’ve never left. I truly know God receives enormous joy watching His beloved Children learning the perfection of their Being. Forever.
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