Chapter 17: The Most Beautiful Woman I’d Ever Seen
Next, I met my future wife, Mary Jo. She was the reason for the ninth miracle. We arranged financing for the appliances through a separate company. I met her over the phone, she was the secretary who took our credit applications. Fax machines had not yet been invented. After a month of joking and getting to know one another, she invited me down for coffee. I walked in and was stunned, she was absolutely the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. We experienced an instant, extremely electrifying chemistry. An energy of sorts jumped between us, and I felt somewhat like I had years before when Chuck had explained Jesus. We only dated for three months and were married for twenty years. Mary Jo had a 3-year-old daughter, Tracy, who we adopted. The first time I saw her, I was once again somewhat awed. M.J. had her looking so pretty with curled blonde hair, a cute spring dress and a bit of jewelry. She had the prettiest blue eyes and shy smile. I’d inherited the home where I had been born and raised. When mom and dad made their wills, both my sister and brother were extremely well off. Sadly, Mary Jo never had the opportunity to meet my parents. However, in a way she did. Our children were raised in the exact same loving environment. My son’s bedroom had been mine as a little boy. We were blessed with two more children, Tara and Travis.
A year after we had married, I left the appliance industry and accepted employment selling automobiles for Robinson Cadillac in Wheeling. They were franchised for Cadillac, Oldsmobile and Toyota. I sold both new and used cars and drove a white Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme which the dealership provided for free. Mary Jo had left the finance industry and was selling newspaper advertising, which was a higher paying job. I had only been working at Robinson for two weeks when Tara was born. Mary Jo had a long and difficult labor. She was very strong-willed and refused to take any pain medication. I would hold her hand when the contractions hit while she’d slowly rub her stomach, control her breathing and concentrate on the clock. The staff kindly let me take a camcorder into the delivery room. I’m right above Mary Jo’s face and not on the receiving end. I’m looking through the black & white monitor when Tara arrived, she was blue with afterbirth in her hair. I stopped filming, looked down at M.J. and proclaimed, “She’s black!” Once again, my good old lack of any common sense had kicked in. Mary Jo just said, “What?” I immediately looked at Tara and said to M.J.,” I’m sorry, I was excited and nervous.” Mary Jo by that time knew me very well and completely understood. Once again, I was kind of in shock, we had made such a beautiful baby. When I first held Tara, she looked up at me with the most adorable smile. She also had the prettiest big brown eyes. We nick-named her “M&M eyes”.
The next day after work, Steve, the owners' son, suggested we have a few drinks to celebrate. The few turned into a fifth of Jack Daniel's. I hadn’t been assigned my demo car, and somehow managed to drive our 1967 Ford Pinto home. I don’t remember driving at all, as I was falling down drunk. The next thing I do remember is waking up and standing in front of the bassinet. Mary Jo’s at the other end and cried, “Bob, what are you doing?” I'm peeing in it. Thankfully, Tara was in her crib. It was 2 am, and Mary Jo quickly took Tracy and Tara to her parent's home. She was scared, having never seen anyone that drunk. The next morning, I'm still about half hammered and had to be at work. I called a taxi, outside the heat was stifling. I arrived at the dealership sweating bullets, my first customer was looking at a Fleetwood Cadillac. I didn't know anything about the car and just sat in the backseat during the demo ride, playing with the power window. The automobile reeked of whiskey. Bill, the owner, was a drinking man himself, or I probably would have been fired. He asked if my customers were interested in the car, I said no. He knew I’d been drinking with his son and suggested coffee. At 2:00 after finally sobering up but with a now massive hangover, I called Mary Jo and apologized for the bassinet, explaining I would never drink whiskey again. I asked her to please pick me up as the dealership closed at 3:00 on Saturdays. At closing, she wasn’t there. We waited until 4:00 then Bill drove me home. I'm now angry and sitting in our living room when she walks in dripping wet with sweat. I said,” I have one thing to say to you. It was wrong of me to pee in the bassinet, I have already apologized. However, you said you’d pick me up and didn't. It was extremely embarrassing for the owner to keep the dealership open for an hour waiting on you and then driving me home.” The gas gauge on the Pinto was broken, and I’d forgotten to put fuel in. Mary Jo explained,” Bob, I had to walk a mile on the interstate in this sweltering heat with Tracy and our newborn to get gas.” When she told me this, I thought I was going to vomit and made a silent vow to myself to never drink whiskey. To this very day, I’ve kept my word. Work always paged, "Bassinet Bob, to the showroom”.
Some scenarios in big ticket sales are uproarious. One beautiful spring afternoon on a Sunday, a young couple came in holding hands. They were looking at a Toyota Camry. We went on the test drive and I truly enjoyed talking with them. I could tell they were very much in love, and both were articulate. I’d had their car appraised. We sat down at my desk and I handed them the offer, they’re both smiling and generally happy. The husband looked at the paperwork, his face became flushed, his hands started to tremble he stood up, threw the chair and screamed, “You must think I’m a complete idiot.” His wife started to cry. I said, “Trade a little light?” I calmed them both down, went to Steve, and he bumped up the trade value. They purchased the vehicle and were happy again.
While I’m thinking about it, I’ll tell you how to buy a new car. I haven’t been in the industry for 20 years, so it has somewhat changed. But, these basic concepts still stand true. Let’s say you’re looking at a window sticker like this: Factory Price $29,225 + Processing $600 + Adjusted Market Value $500. Total $30,325. The $600 processing charge is a fee the dealer may charge for preparing and filing the paperwork. It is for the sale of the vehicle, such as the title, registration, and license plates. This charge is pure profit. Some dealers will also add items like Adjusted Market Value $500 or Dealer Handling $300. Dealer Handling is washing and prepping the car, also pure profit. Adjusted market value is smoke. In your mind, take off the $600 and $500 fees and work with $29,225. When I was selling, the dealership owners worked on a 12% profit margin. There’s also a 3% factory kickback that no one touches but the owners. So the approximate cost to the dealer in this example is $29,225 X .88 = $25,718. Add $400 to this for your offer. This is fair, as the salesman will make %25 or $100 for his time. Say you’ll buy the car, no trade, for $26,118, a savings of $3507. If you really want to irritate the dealership, come back with a trade. Now they have no leverage dollars, and you'll see the true worth of your auto. These dealers earn a very good living, so don't feel concerned. When trading, they use the $1100 for leverage. No dealer will give you a dime more than what they pay at the block. This is the little black book they carry. Let's say they can buy your vehicle at the block for $2000. You'll think you're receiving $3100 but in actuality it's only $2000. You’re always dollars ahead by selling your car outright. Another way to save money is financing. Let the dealership arrange the loan If you’re paying high interest take out a one-year interest free credit card and flip the balance and at the end of the year do it again. This method will pay off the balance much faster and for less money.
One day I had a customer with throat cancer, he had an electrolarynx he held to his throat. He had a beautiful 1968 Oldsmobile Tornado with very low mileage. Steve knew the car and really wanted to have it in inventory, it was in immaculate condition. He said, “Bob, you must get him to trade. “I’ll do my best.” Steve was appraising his car, and we took a new Tornado out for a test drive. I had a bad hangover. We came back to the dealership, and he insisted I drive his car. I explained there was no need for me to drive it. He wouldn’t take no for an answer. We went through a park which had a wooded area, he’s talking with his mechanical voice and kept saying this car, “This car has never been in the rain. This car has never been in the snow. This car is kept in a heated garage. This car has never been off a paved road.” I swear right when he said that, we were going around a turn, I looked at him and went right off the road. Gravel is flying everywhere, bushes scrapped the side, and a tree branch hit the windshield. He’s going, “Aggggh, aggggh, aggggh” I finally got the car back on the road, and we silently drove back to the dealership. He wouldn’t even go inside, “Give me my keys.”” I’m terribly sorry about that, we’ll detail your car. Let’s see what the boss will give you on trade, I know he’d really like to have it.” “He said, give me my keys, I’m not asking again.” A year later, he was still driving that car.
I worked in the auto industry two more years, then interviewed and accepted a position at Hamburg Brothers in Pittsburgh. This fine organization was the largest wholesale distributor for appliances and televisions in the United States. Every single Whirlpool appliance and RCA product sold in 5 states came through the company. The owners were Jewish, they’re highly intelligent, extremely well respected and very conservative. I was referred by Bob, who had sold to my old appliance employer. He had left Hamburg, as he was tired of driving to make a living. I learned, after the fact, I had beaten out over one hundred nervous applicants who had been interviewed. I wasn't anxious at all during the interview process, as I was happy selling for Robinson. I sold to independents, the locally owned appliance and television retailers who had built the industry. Most have closed due to companies like Best Buy and Walmart. I managed a fifteen million dollar territory and serviced over forty retailers.
After a year, Hamburg sent us to Whirlpool training in San Diego at Christmastime. Our lodging was at the Hotel Del Coronado, the most expensive real estate in the nation. The song Hotel California by the Eagles is about this beautiful resort. Rooming, food, and alcohol were all free. Once again, the alcohol caused a bit of a problem. The first night I’m sitting in the sauna and in walks Ed Asner from the Mary Tyler Moore sitcom. There’s a picture of George Bush with a handwritten note saying,” Thanks for the rubdown, George,” The first three days were training, the last three were party, which I took serious advantage of. My roommate was an elderly gentleman named Owen. He was with the Whirlpool Builder Division out of New York. They would purposely room the new kid on the block with a veteran. The training was over and after the second day of festive activities, Owen woke me up at 8:00. Here's how our conversation went. Owen, "What are you doing today, idiot?" "Going deep sea fishing.""I wouldn't if I were you, last night you had a shot glass in your mouth, nose, and ear. You may well end up getting deep sea sick.” I’d been drinking vodka, therefore keeping my promise to Mary Jo. My astounding common sense replied, "All will be well, I’ve never gone deep sea fishing." "Your call, but you’ll live to regret it." An hour later, I'm on the boat and sailing out to sea. The vessel reached its destination, I tackled up and tossed the bait. After fifteen minutes, I started to feel a little sick. I vomited and felt better. 10 minutes later, I’m throwing up again. I’d never felt this sick before. The third time, I threw up so hard I ruptured a blood vessel in my left eye and shattered my inner ear. Deep seasickness. I went to the captain and asked when we were returning. Four more hours.OMG. He advised going down and sitting in the fulcrum, which is the very center of the boat. The rocking movement will lessen there. The captain explained he’d had a customer who paid for a helicopter to get off the boat. You're that sick. We finally returned to shore at 3:00. Because my inner ear was broken, the equilibrium was helter-skelter and the land is rolling. I'm back in our room, lying in bed with the drapes drawn. It's 4:30 when Owen walks in, "How’d the fishing go?" "I'm extremely sick." "I knew this would happen, but you wouldn’t listen". That evening, I knew I couldn’t handle hard liquor, so I drank wine. Three bottles. The next morning, I attempted to walk off the hangover by going to the ocean. I came across a dead mantra and thought of playing a joke on Owen. He’s asleep, and I placed the mantra in the tub. He’d taken showers every morning to wake up. He walked into the bathroom and suddenly said, “Jesus Christ, what’s that?” “A mantra, his name is Pete”” Is it alive?”” No.”” What are you going to do with it?”’ Make a shrine.”” Whatever.” I put the mantra underwater in the sink, and covered it with shaving cream. I then placed a nice container to the side with a fake flower in it. Owen,” What on earth are you doing now?”” This is a requiem for Pete.”” A maid is going to come in and be very startled. We’ll end up paying the room charges, which will be very expensive.” Nothing happened, I told Owen that I knew I had been supposed to be asking a lot of questions about business. He said he knew that wasn’t going to happen after the first day we’d met. We did enjoy one another’s company.
Flying back to Pittsburgh, with a stopover in Chicago, the party is still going on. We're drinking Bloody Mary's. I had taken 3 Dramamine, due to the inner ear, and the drug is mixing just fine with the alcohol. On the flight to Pittsburgh, I unfortunately ended up sitting next to Jules, executive vice president. A week later, I receive a call from his secretary. I contacted my friend and asked what going to meet Jules on a Monday meant. Bob explained, I had done something very wrong. If on a Friday, I'd be fired. I dressed in my best suit, dress attire was a white shirt; not pink, not blue, but white. I drove to Pittsburgh, planning on arriving early because Jules was keen on punctuality. Marilyn, Jules's secretary, informed me to wait in the lounge. After a half hour, she escorted me into his office and left. There were beautiful furnishings, all oak wall panels, oak desk, plush carpet, pictures of the Hamburgs and his family, plus exquisite decorations. Jules came in, closed the door and sat down. I was surprised to see his ears quickly becoming a very bright red. I’d never seen anything like that before, it was worse than mother's face years before. Jules quietly said," Did you see that man urinating in public at SeaWorld?" The park had been closed to the public due to the holidays, but they opened for Whirlpool. "Yes sir." "If that had been you, you'd be fired on the spot and would have to find your own way home." He continued, “The first night after training, I watched you quickly drink 7 shots. You left the room and the next time I saw you, you’re drinking shots and beer. Then you’re challenging people to arm wrestle.”” Do you have anything to say, you look nervous?”” No, sir, please continue.” His voice rose a notch, “It was one thing watching you walk around one of the finest resorts in the world with two bottles of wine. Another to see you in your suit, with cowboy boots covered in sand, on the flight back to Pittsburgh. I understand, we can take the boy out of the country, but not the country out of the boy. You’re employed by one of the most professional and respected companies in the nation, and this type of public display will not be tolerated. Any future activity remotely like this, and you’ll be terminated. Understand?" "Yes sir."" I'll be watching you." Yes sir." I called Bob and told him about our meeting, he said, ”That’s unusual you weren't fired, you must be doing a good job.” I didn’t tell him, but I was far surpassing his sales from the prior year. Mary Jo had wondered what on earth had happened. My voice was raspy from talking like Owen, I was very dizzy when first standing, and my eye was almost totally red. I explained it all, leaving out the vodka part, and made an appointment to see an eye, ear, nose, and throat specialist.
Being that I’d had somewhat of a vacation, I asked Mary Jo to go to an REO Speedwagon concert at the Civic Center in Wheeling. I downed twelve beers before entering, refusing to pay the venue prices. We found our seats and I told her I had to go to the bathroom. A half hour later, I’m looking at the backs of all these heads. Where did she go? There’s a tap on my shoulder, and it’s M.J. The Civic Center is round, and she had seen me from 200-yards away. I was exactly 360 degrees opposite to our seats. I have an absolutely horrible sense of direction and can get lost in a parking lot. Months later, when we went to see Pink Floyd, Mary Jo suggested buying a wrist balloon that said, “Bob” She also thought I should buy another, saying, “Help, I may be lost”
I left Hamburg Brothers two years later. One of my accounts was in our hometown. Mr. Color T.V. Al Emery was the owner. He had been a great customer and purchased a good amount of RCA products. He was in the process of selling his business. He had his nest egg and wanted to retire. I took his profit and loss statements, going back five years, and drove to Columbus to meet with Dave. After reviewing the documents, he advised purchasing as the business looked extremely profitable. We owned our home free and clear and mortgaged the property to buy. One item, Al had not shared. HBO was going to scramble in January. We purchased the company in November. He had sold over three hundred C-Band satellite dishes, over the past five years, at one thousand dollars net profit each. Satellite owners had been receiving HBO for free. This, plus new emerging satellite technology, caused satellite sales to stop. The potential future income of three hundred thousand to the bottom line was gone.
Mary Jo was our bookkeeper. We had three employees. One technician, Mark, who repaired televisions and V.C.R.'s, and two delivery men, Bill and Rick. I’d hired Bill because I felt responsible for him going to prison. Come June, we had to make some decisions or go out of business. Al sold V.C.R.'s out of a brochure. He only had on display seven RCA televisions. There was a huge C-Band satellite dish in the showroom. First item to go. The storefront next to our business was empty, so we rented and installed a door. We started selling Whirlpool, Roper, and Frigidaire appliances for added revenue. Appliances had far better profit margins. We changed the name to Mr. Color T.V. & Appliance. Several years later, we moved. Our new showroom was much larger, the location was in the central business district, and the rent was less.
Travis was born. Once again, I was with Mary Jo through delivery. Gratefully, her labor was not as difficult. I decided to take in a camera instead of a camcorder. I’m excitedly taking pictures and the batteries drop out, a nurse almost fell after slipping on one. They naturally asked me to leave. My lack of any sense had brought his expertise to our happy occasion. As a celebration for our son’s birth, we went to a Rod Stuart concert. Mary Jo’s driving, and I’m drinking my twelve beers. We laid our blanket down, and I went to find a port-potty. One hour later, I’m yelling, “Mary Jo.” Others are helping. “Mary Jo” I had tripped over several folks beers and my buzz was wearing off. The sun is going down, the concert is about to start, and I'm mad. I no longer cared about the concert and was walking back to the car. I ran right into her. “Mary Jo, where did you go?” “Why did you leave me?” “Bob, I’ve been sitting on the blanket waiting for you.” I had been looking for her 30-yards north.
My only son was fortunate to survive his father's little adventures. When Travis was eight, I really wanted to take my sled and his round snow saucer to a park in Wheeling. There was a huge hill with a water drain covered with rods at the bottom, as this was a golf course. We had just had an ice storm, so everything was extremely slippery. I put that little boy on his sled and gave a big push. Wooosssh, this was a lot like Chevy Chase in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. He was going extremely fast and lost control. The saucer went one way and Travis went another, and he slammed into the drain. I thought, OMG, I’ve killed him. I slipped, fell and ran down the course and became fairly bruised myself. Thank God he was alright, he was stunned and had trouble walking. He had a huge black eye, a bruised ear and his mouth was bleeding. I took him to the E.R. and he had a cracked rib. The doctor said he’d be fine in a week or so with ice and rest. Thankfully, the treatment worked.
A younger man handled our newspaper advertising, after getting to know one another, he asked if I liked to party. I explained that years ago I’d enjoyed the ultimate, LSD. He welcomed me to his world. I was surprised, this being available in my hometown. I purchased a hundred hits for a hundred dollars. The price was right, but the acid wasn’t the quality I was accustomed to. I doubled the dosage.
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Over the next several months I’d go to our business always on Saturday night, and take two hits while drinking beer. Sometimes a friend or two would join, they never knew I was on the drug. We always enjoyed great conversations, laughed a lot and had an all around good time. This started putting a strain on our marriage. I justified my actions by saying I was not bar hopping, nor womanizing. I explained that always being together, work and home, was not healthy for our relationship. At an increasing frequency, we’d come home angry with one another. However, we’d never argue in front of our children. She did not agree with some of my decisions. On hindsight, Mary Jo was right. If someone had poor credit, I would carry them on our books, but only for 90 days. We had several who never paid a dime. She also thought I was selling the product too cheap. Again, she was correct because our delivery and television repair was far beyond the big corporations. If purchasing an appliance needing delivery at Best Buy, they could only schedule the day and never a time. We’d follow customers home.If repair was needed on a television, the same time scenario. Due to their massive network, a part required may take weeks. We’d normally have it in stock because I let Mark handle his inventory. If not, we always had it within 24 hours. Al’s advertising was, Mr. Color T.V., the business that service built. Due to my wholesale experience, I knew the big boxes sold the product at a cheaper price because they paid less due to their massive buying power. I failed to understand our service value and should have been explaining this at point of sale. Instead, I’d drop the price immediately when our customer naturally wanted to negotiate. I was my own worst enemy.
We were growing apart and I couldn’t see the reason. LSD was becoming more important than our family, especially after I discovered a unique combination. Locker room, which is called poppers and made with amyl nitrate. When snorted sober, this gave a ten-second rush. Taken when peaking on LSD produced amazing and beautiful visuals. I had developed a red rash around my nose and explained to Mary Jo that I must be getting allergies. My secret came to a halt early one Sunday morning. Saturday night I took my usual two hits and popped a beer. I had all the televisions on MTV. The volumes were muted, and the sound was coming through a five thousand dollar RCA stereo system. I remember a Pink Floyd live video was playing Comfortably Numb. I had accidentally taken four hits of a very powerful LSD. I snorted nitrate and saw God sitting on His throne. He has blazing long white hair, beard, and piercing blue eyes. He vanished after suggesting I tell Mary Jo the truth. This may very have been God because this incident saved our marriage. I called her at 1:00 and said, “The past several months, I have been tripping on LSD. The rash is from a nitrate I have been snorting." She said, “You b_stard." The phone slammed. I found our home was empty, she'd taken the children to her mothers. Sunday afternoon they returned, she and I went out on the deck. "I don't love you anymore and want a divorce." I believe, to this day, the Holy Spirit told me how to respond. "Mary Jo, if this is what you truly want, I'll sign over the property and get an apartment. I'll pay for everything." This was not what she expected to hear. I clarified that the acid and nitrate were flushed. There were only three tabs left, I didn’t want to be tempted. I explained that she, our children, home, and life together meant much more to me than the party. I promised the LSD was history and kept my word. M.J. was still angry and went inside. Returning twenty minutes later, she explained her prayers had been tearful and from the heart. "I'm willing to give you the shadow of doubt and help us work if you are." I agreed. We kept sleeping in the same bed, not making love, for over seven months. I started enjoying playing with Travis when he was nine. We called the game “Little Men”, over 70 action figures. Superman, Batman, Wolverine, The Torch, The Invisible Girl, The Thing, Mr. Fantastic, Cyclops, Colossus, Magneto, The Watcher, The Silver Surfer, Dr. Doom, and The Hulk. I could name many more, as I used to collect comic books. We’d play for hours. When I had his men cornered, he’d always warp everybody to the future or past and win. He was the cutest little boy, Mary Jo would always watch and smile. Tara would sometimes play, Tracy was too old. We found ourselves arguing less and less. We were sitting in church and I leaned over and whispered, “I wonder what would happen if I put a dose of LSD on the communion bread?” That gave her the giggles, she reached over and held my hand. That day, our 10-year marriage was completely healed.
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The next ten were wonderful, we seldom even had a disagreement. I feel most relationships, not all, will reach a breaking point. If making it through and still together, the love will grow stronger. Guaranteed. We learned this truth from experience and had truly obtained, “The two shall become one.” She wonderfully became my confidant, advisor, and very best friend. Where I was weak, she was strong; where she was weak, I was strong. We complimented and supported one another through thick and thin. After experiencing so very much together, our love and faith continued to grow.
Our dining room started to smell real bad, and we had just laid new carpet. We had gotten a cute little dog from the kennel, and no one had ever seen Toby pee inside. I went to the plant in the corner and pulled it from the base dish, it's full of urine. The carpet was also soaked but with no stains. After scrubbing the carpet, the smell remained. We decided to rip up the carpet and were pleased to see solid oak floors. I had the week off and rented a heavy-duty sander. Mary Jo was starting to get nervous because knew how my handyman skills were. I sanded the floor and varnished everything. Beautiful. In the early morning I had to go back to work, I put down polyurethane. Naturally, I hadn’t paid any attention to the big red warning labels that said USE IN A WELL VENTILATED AREA, meaning open the windows. I’m driving to work and was really light-headed. Mary Jo called from the emergency room as Travis had fainted when he got out of bed. Great, the floor is polished and beautiful but my family’s dead. I felt somewhat like an idiot, so I took everyone out to a nice restaurant.
My newspaper friend knew I was finished with LSD, I hadn't explained why. He asked if I'd like a four-finger bag of psychedelic mushrooms for one hundred dollars. I had promised never to do LSD, not shrooms. I had only tried them a few times years ago but recalled having beautiful visions. Saturday date night arrived, and we had planned to watch a great local band at a popular tavern. As M.J. was getting ready, I remembered buying the drug. As good a time as any. I told her I was going to the store to get some money. I proceeded to eat the whole bag after forgetting that one was supposed to take only one or two caps. Bad, horrible mistake. We entered the bar, found a table and ordered drinks. The shrooms started to really kick in hard and fast. I’m thinking, OMG, here I go, get ready to ride this out. The room shifted and phased unbelievably fast. Suddenly I went over the top. The guitar player hit a chord, blinding light from the guitar came out, bounced off all four walls and went directly into my eyes. I threw up on a big man’s leather jacket. Thank God I’d vomited, or my night would have been much, much worse. Mary Jo, "What's wrong?" "I think I have the flu." I quickly gave the big guy $20 and we left. Outside, my sense of space changed and time seemed to slow down. The streetlights and car lights somehow merged and began emanating what seemed like dozens of intense, different colors. My ears started loudly ringing, and the engine sounded like Buckeye’s electronic arc-weld furnace. Mary Jo's mom. Jewel, and our children, were playing Yahtzee in the kitchen. Every time the dice were thrown, it sounded like roaring, deafening thunder. After explaining about the flu, I took off my clothes and slithered under the covers. Here they come, snakes, spiders, demons, fire, sulfur, headless bodies, screaming babies and intense confusion. The same one-minute time experience occurred. I knew what to expect, I stayed in bed, rode it out and breathed. After concentrating on the perpetual light that was always there, I came out of it on Sunday morning and was fine. At least, the trip only lasted for 12 hours and not 48. I’d had enough of that experience, and never purchased shrooms again.
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Our business continued right along for another seven years. The final year, I sold five hundred thousand dollars worth of product. We closed the next year in February and filed for bankruptcy. In the appliance industry, the small retailers normally do not own the inventory. For example, the previous October I ordered thirty thousand dollars of RCA product. Whirlpool Acceptance Corporation, the financier, paid for the order. I obtained six months financing with no interest. It’s important selling the product within six months to not pay any charges. Never let the cost of inventory escalate. Once a month, W.A.C. would send in a floor plan checker to determine what had been sold. Let's say five thousand, which I would write a check for. We used three-floor plan companies, W.A.C., Chrysler First and First Capital. In February, by horrible luck, we were audited by all three in one week. I partially paid W.A.C.and First Capital. I could not afford to pay Chrysler First one dime, and I owed them three thousand. Four weeks prior, I had written them a check for seventeen thousand due to Christmas sales. I'll never forget this phone call on a Monday morning. "Hello, Mr. Color T.V. and Appliance, Bob speaking." "Where's my money?" "Pardon me?" "Dale Love, Chrysler First." "Don't tell me, you’ve been using our money to finance your business," I said that I’d call him back. Every small retailer floats money and all is fine as long as the cash is flowing. In our industry, February sales all but stop. I owed thirty-seven thousand and made a horrible decision due to my no common sense. I called a bankruptcy attorney and explained our situation. What is such an attorney going to advise? File bankruptcy. If common sense was present, I would have called our banker. My beacon score was over eight hundred. A+ credit. He would have given the dollars on a signature loan. Sadly, we filed and shut the doors on Tuesday. I received a call that day from a prominent retailer in Wheeling, as It didn't take long for word to hit the streets. The owner said I'll give you fifty cents on the dollar, cash. Meaning, he would send a semi and take all the inventory, which was valued at over two hundred thousand. The business could have pocketed one hundred thousand. We declined and went right by the book.
My next employment was with Sun Television and Appliance, forty-five stores in three states. My career in the appliance industry had gone from selling, to store manager, to wholesale territory manager and finally a store owner. I’ve returned to square one, competing with over a dozen others for sales. I believe in Winston Churchill’s famous quote, “Never give up. Never, never, never, never.” Ron was store manager and overseeing a grand opening. After glancing at my resume, I was hired on the spot. He was an intense individual, standing five seven, balding, my age, glasses, and black mustache. Sporting a neck brace due to a vehicle accident looked painful. Being all business, he never smiled and constantly observed his flock attending to customers needs. Weeks later, several of us went out to enjoy a few beers. Ron morphed into a funny and articulate person, proving to be highly intelligent.
There was an appliance salesman, whose first name was Chris. He earned his nickname, Dweeb, during the soft opening. At 11:00, Becky, who was home office manager, came to Ron explaining the wrongdoings Dweeb had newly accomplished. He had approached a customer looking for a dishwasher and after some questions had determined he wasn't buying today. Dweeb proceeded to take out his business card and threw it at the customer. After bouncing off the poor man’s chest, Dweeb said, "Time’s money, money’s time.", and walked away. The customer knew Becky and explained the sad scenario. I happened to be outside Ron's office making a copy and fortunately became witness to one of the most hilarious confrontations I’d ever seen. Store intercom, "Chris White to the manager's office." Slam. Dweeb runs into the office, Ron closes the door and proceeds to read the riot act. Dweeb storms out and begins crying. He points his finger at Ron and loudly screams, "You're no manager, you're a dictator.” The store became extremely quiet and over a hundred customers began observing the exciting drama. Ron looked at Dweeb, pointed at the door and proudly stated, "You're fired." Ron looked at me and said, "I'm firing that idiot”. No one could be terminated before talking with Al, the district manager. Ron called Al and explained the circumstance. Al said Ron could write him up and that's all. The reason being, in the three weeks the store had been open, Dweeb proved to be the best service contract writer in the Pittsburgh district. Extended warranties. After I became store manager, I found out why he had been the best. He blatantly lied, telling one customer if his projection television breaks down in three years the company will bring out the latest model the next day, free of charge. That’s not how the system was structured. The service contract stated the set would be repaired, not replaced. The repair on a projection set could require several weeks, predicated on part availability. I was constantly calming his customers a year after he’d quit.
Ron accepted a promotion to a bigger store in Pittsburgh. His replacement was a young man named Shane Geller, he proved to be the first narcissist I’d ever met. Shane had a grandiose sense of self-importance and completely lacked empathy. I had been promoted to assistant store manager, and my immediate boss is a Hitler youth. Let the games begin, or we’ll off heads. All employees had to address him as Mr. Geller, if called Shane a verbal warning would be issued. Lenny was audio manager, always nervous and very high-strung. His extremely attractive girlfriend's name was Brett. One afternoon, the three of us and Mr. Geller were standing in the audio department. Brett purposely said, “Shane?” “Yes?” “How much money can you knock off on a phone?” Shane asked Brett to close her eyes and asked,” What do you see?” Her reply was supposed to be nothing, and his reply would be that’s what you're getting off the phone. After asking Brett what she saw, the uproarious response was, “I don’t see a jerk anymore” Lenny quickly walked away, knowing he’s fired. Shane’s speechless, and I’m trying very hard not to break into laughable tears. Thankfully, nothing came of it. Shane left the company months later, and I was promoted to store manager.
Lenny was funny, he kind of reminded me of Don Knots from Mayberry. Sun had brought an executive over from Sears and hired him as president. This turned out to be too little, too late. We had been given a three-week notice and the day he’d be at the store. He was visiting every location, and we were given detailed instructions as to what he expected. I had the store looking spotless and gave Lenny an assistant as he had the most complicated project. Virtually every audio and monitor component had to be re-wired. The C.E.O wanted a WOW when walking into the department. With the flip of a switch, everything was to come to life with a display of color and sound. The boss and regional manager arrived and were pleased with the store, with some minor tweaks. They went into the audio department, and he said, “Son, show me your WOW. Lenny hit the switch and nothing happened. The quiet was deafening, and I thought Lenny was going to faint. I was trying my very hardest not to laugh. All he said was, “Looks like you have some work to do.” I gave Lenny the rest of the day off.
One evening we were bored. I had hired Martha a month prior, and we decided to have some fun. Randy called her, saying his name was Phil. He had talked with her last week about an Amana Ice and water refrigerator. Asking that he couldn’t remember if it had four or five shelves and could she please check. After taking the shelves out, Mike planted himself inside. We’re all anxiously looking around corners, anticipating the opening door. Mike lunged and Martha’s feet literally left the floor and she fell down. On another occasion, I hired a brown goods salesman. Brown goods were televisions, VCR’s and camcorders. This was his second day on the job and he was very nervous. It happened that he and I were alone in the warehouse and I said,” Warren, there’s something you need to know about me." "What's that, Mr. Hall?” “I’m a manic depressive schizophrenic and have eleven people screaming in my head.” I then turned to my left and screamed at no one, “SUZY, WOULD YOU PLEASE SHUT UP.” I thought he was going to faint, so I immediately told him I was joking. He later offered a compliment, stating I was one of the best boss’s he’d ever had.
I strongly believed all employees should look forward to coming to work. I strove to fashion our store into a professional, fun environment, but I was still a human resource nightmare ready to happen. One Monday it was very hot and I had an absolutely horrible day. I think all the office females were on their time of the month. I said, “Good morning, ladies.” Silence. The manager snarled, “The three of us are having issues, and they don’t involve you.” Ok, I left and went to the sales floor. Everybody was bickering about the commission structure. The phone rang, I’m paged, picked it up, a man is screaming because our delivery truck had damaged his stone wall. Another customer is demanding we immediately deliver a 12,000 BTU air conditioner because the one he had just picked up wasn’t working. After calming his rant down, I asked what the issue was, “Well, the cold air coming out the front is fine, but it's off-set by warm air coming out the back.”“Did you put in a window?”” What?” “That’s what the mounting brackets are for.” He hung up, and I couldn’t believe what I’d just heard. The very next moment, one of my better salesmen had approached a family of five looking at camcorders. “We’re just looking” Randy, politely said, “That’s fine sir, I’ll be over here if you need me.” A couple of minutes later, another customer pulled Randy aside. We had a large rolling ladder on the floor due to maintenance changing light ballasts on the ceiling. The next thing I know, Randy’s original customer is on top of the ladder screaming, “Since nobody is going to help up us in this dump, we’re going to Sears.” They all stormed out before I could even talk with them. Our inventory receiving manager was angry because he had two call-offs and was unloading a big shipment by himself. I went back to help when I could, but was constantly being called up front to handle problems. This went on all day long, non-stop. I went out front at 6:00 and was nervously trying to have a smoke when a car with a No Fear sticker went by. Four teenagers were in the car, one waved, I waved back, he flipped me the finger. My ego exploded and I went into a rage. I’m storming over to the car, taking off my tie, and thought better of it because I might hurt someone. I turned around, blasted across the sales floor, went into the warehouse and hit a refrigerator box so hard I broke my hand. I went back out front, because my face was beat red and I looked like a maniac, my office manager said, “What on earth is the matter with you?” I left, and went to the E.R. The next morning, I received a call from the vice president,” Bob, you need to control your temper.” This could never happen today, I’m an entirely different Bob due to studying and applying the Course’s teachings. If I could go back in time, I’d simply go home early so as not to give my ego any more ammunition. I hope this makes sense.
After my hand healed, our bathtub became clogged from the girls' hair, so I went up to Winter’s Hardware to get a snake. Bob Winter advised me to use a kinetic water ram. This had a cylinder that was pumped full of air and a compression fitting that went over the drain. The hand pumped air would then blow down the clog. In theory. I pumped the thing up and naturally did not read the directions due to my common sense flaw. I placed it over the drain, BAM. Crap blew out of the sink and hit the ceiling. I was supposed to plug the sink. The bathtub was still clogged, after several more attempts, I decided to take off the U-fitting from the drain and go directly to the plumbing. After hooking the fitting back up, it was still clogged. My hand was getting blistered from all the pumping. I took the thing back to the store and told Bob it didn’t work. He asked me if I had put a hose on to apply water. What? He said, “Bob, it’s a kinetic water ram.” Oh. I proceeded to get a hose and threw it out of the window as Travis was coming home from 6th grade. I hooked it up, Travis turned on the water. BAM, still clogged. After going through the same procedure as before, I’m starting to become irritated. I had been working on this stupid clog for hours and was drenched in sweat. It’s 5:00 and Mary Jo is getting home from work. I heard the garage door opening and I wanted to surprise her with a clear drain. One last time, after quickly putting back on the U-fitting, I went directly to the drain. Wow. Success. The drain is finally unclogged. I’m proud. I heard M.J. coming up the stairs that led to the kitchen. I heard, “BOB, WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING?” The last blast of air had blown off the U-fitting, and the water was cascading down onto the kitchen ceiling, and soaking the cabinets. She said to call a plumber, I refused as I was now on a quest, refusing to be beaten by a drain. Bob advised me to take the toilet off and send a blast through that drain. That worked and I won. Victory.
Another book could be written about situations that occur in the appliance industry. I’ll explain another, due to the incredible intensity of those non-stop 18 hours. The store I managed after Shane left was a Class C. I gratefully accepted the advancement to manage a beautiful and much bigger Class A. This was an unusual promotion and seldom occurred. The huge property was newly built and much closer to home. This turned out to be the highest paying job I ever had, or ever would have. The store had been built over hundreds of tons of fill dirt, the construction required countless dump trucks to fill a massive hole. Upper management liked the pristine location. This impressive outlet was hastily erected to open before the Christmas season. I was responsible for eighty-one employees. After all went through a two-week training, the store was ready to open on Black Friday. Almost did not happen. I received a call from the fire department, 12:30 Black Friday morning. The foundation had shifted and broke the main water line inside the store. Thousands of pounds of pressure pushed the water to the high ceiling, setting off the motion sensors. The firemen smashed through the security gates and shut the line down. The valve had only been open for eight minutes, but that was more than enough time to turn the entire front sales floor into a lake. The water also erupted in the warehouse where all the projection televisions were staked. The boxes all collapsed and fell like dominoes. Inventory damage was over one million dollars. After waking the C.E.O. I was given a free hand to do whatever was needed to have the store opened by 9am. We woke up numerous owners of water extraction companies and paid them whatever they asked. The entire damaged inventory was totally replenished by our Columbus warehouse, a 3-hour drive. The store opened at 9:00, and we sold three hundred and fifty thousand dollars of product. I had worked an exhausting and demanding 18 hours. Trial by fire.
Before opening, I had an all store meeting. I explained that we all came from diverse backgrounds and the most harmful “ideal” to any work environment, especially sales, is bad morale. If Bill has an issue with Fred, do not go to Sue and talk about Fred, go to Fred. If the issue is not resolved, come to me. We’ll enter my office and communicate behind closed doors in the strictest of confidentiality. I coached three different individuals who had issues that developed under Shane. All were resolved peacefully for the concerned parties. I then elucidated that most had probably worked under one who had managed by fear. This management tactic has never worked and never will. My management style is one of problem-solving and reason. The morale we all shared was the primary reason our team far surpassed all upper management expectations. I completely enjoyed going to work because it was fun.
One afternoon, I was smoking outside and talking with Tom. He was an excellent salesman. Being good-looking, he was proudly explaining his latest sexual escapades. Mary Jo and I had planned lunch, Tom had never met her. She was walking towards us and Tom suddenly exclaimed, "OMG, look at her body”“Thank you”” Why?” “Mary Jo’s my wife."” Oh Bob, I am so sorry,""Don't apologize, you gave me a compliment." Tom was visibly shaken as I introduced them. Concerning jealousy, this ego tactic ruins countless relationships. This horrible emotion is based on the insane fear that another can take away the one loved. If you think about it, jealousy is really an attack to oneself. Insecurity is telling them, others are much better and more than able to steal the one they love. In essence, they’re putting themselves down. Mary Jo and I had always been faithful, and were very secure due to our history and deep love for our children and one another. All heads would turn when she walked into a room, not only because of her physical charms but also due to her glowing spiritual beauty. She emanated warmth, confidence, and love to all she met. We were never jealous and trusted one another completely.
Months after I’d introduced Tom and M.J. the company declared bankruptcy and closed all stores. I was going to be promoted to district manager. Find a new job and start over once again. The disappointment was great, but we had to stay bonded as a family and work through the circumstance. All occurrences are either a blessing or a lesson. I had certainly learned the lesson of perseverance and rewards earned by staying focused and never giving up. A major blessing was my promotion to a Class A store, it was a complete surprise and totally unexpected. I lost count of the amount of resumes I submitted. I was in my early forties and mostly interested in pharmaceutical sales. I found why I had never received any response from that industry, I was too old. They prefer hiring those who just graduated from college. Doesn't matter the major, they'll be trained. The companies were looking for highly intelligent and attractive individuals. I would have gone back to Hamburg Brothers, but they had lost the Whirlpool and RCA franchises. The manufacturer no longer needed wholesale distributors. The small retailers had mostly retired, and the product could be sold to the Best Buy's and Walmart's who would distribute through built in supply chains. When unemployment was about over, I told Mary Jo I knew what to do. Submitting resumes via computer to H.R. departments who are receiving hundreds weekly, there is a very small chance of being noticed. I found the name of Walmart's local district manager and asked if I could buy him lunch. He was very impressed with my resume and would place me on fast track store manager training. A Walmart store manager makes a six-figure income. The only issue was the position was in a new Columbus store. I made arrangements with Walmart to have the weekends off, rented an apartment, kissed Mary Jo and our children goodbye and moved to the city. Our family didn't move, as it would be unfair to Tara and Travis. They were used to their respective schools and the company of close friends. Mary Jo went to work selling commercials for the local cable company. Tracy was attending Bowling Green University, majoring in microbiology. The plan was to wait three years until Tara graduated from high school, and we'd all be together in Columbus. Our family lives were wonderful. I look back on Christmas, Easter, Memorial & Labor Days, the Fourth, Halloween, and New Year's very fondly. Tracy, Tara, Travis and I would need all the good memories and love we shared to sustain us through what happened several years later.
Walmart had placed me on night reception due to the inventory issue. The store had one million dollars in gross sales the first week. The district manager upped the auto allocation by two points and didn't back it off for two months. All inventory is ordered via computer, predicated on information from the registers. I walked into the store two months after opening and had to walk sideways in the receiving warehouse due to the inventory. Seventeen trailers are full of freight outside, and we’re still receiving two semi-trucks every night. We worked two years on correcting the freight issue, my fast-track training was not so fast. Looking back, I should have contacted the D.M. who hired me. I was informed after leaving that I should have rotated through every department to have a better understanding of the whole operation. A year and a half later, the district manager, Gary, called a department manager meeting. Gary was in his sixties, watching his stock options grow. In the back of every Walmart are pictures of Sam Walton, imprinted with his retail words of wisdom, he had been a retail genius. An hour into the meeting, this came out of my mouth. Sam had just died. I said,"You know what should have been done with Sam Walton? He should have been stuffed, with arms opened and smiling. He could be the greeter at every Walmart grand opening." One man put his head in his hands, most chuckled, except those who knew better. Gary said angrily, "Sam Walton was a friend of mine!" My career really stalled. Two months later, I interviewed and accepted the position of district manager trainee at Family Dollar, starting as a store manager. If you shop at a Family Dollar, be very nice, as those folks work their tails off. All employees bust freight, all the time. I did more physical work at Family Dollar than I had working in the steel and foundry industries.
Several months after entering the dollar business, Mary Jo and I went to Cleveland to attend the wedding of Tracy’s close friend. The reception was astounding, ice sculptures, hundreds attending, excellent food and open bar all night. The parents had to have paid over a hundred thousand. If we had that kind of money, we'd pay for a small wedding and buy the newlyweds a house. We were slow dancing and the music suddenly stopped. The D.J.turned a spotlight turned on us and walked over with a microphone. He said,"You are a beautiful couple, are you married? “Yes”. “How long?”” Nineteen years.”” What's your secret?" Mary Jo and I looked into one another's eyes, and were quiet for several seconds. We said, almost at the same time,” We love one another.” On the way back to the Marriott, we became lost in downtown Cleveland. Mary Jo is driving. I'm enjoying a pleasant alcohol buzz and saw three black men standing by a phone booth. It's 1:00. I told Mary Jo to stop the car and quickly walked over to ask for directions. These men seemed surprised as to why a white man, in a nice suit, would even be here. I was fairly big from weight training and the suit was a little tight. The men sensed that I had absolutely no fear, became friendly and offered directions. Mary Jo had locked the car doors, she was visibly upset and shaking. "Are you nuts? You could have been killed, and I would have been raped." I explained that I had no concern of that happening, as I could handle myself and would never put her in danger. She was still upset and drove several blocks with the lights off. We made it back to the Marriott.
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