"There are darknesses in life and there are lights, and you are one of the lights, the light of all lights."
_ _ _ _ _ _ _
"Really, Grace? Macho Taco?" we planted ourselves into the ground, gazing into the large, virtually full moon that shone unto the subdued currents of the water. "Stop trying to get me fat."
"What? Use your head, dummy. It's late and nothing else is open." Grace rested her head on my thigh, and brought a burrito to her mouth. "Besides, you don't get fat. I've seen you eat way more than this and still nothing. You can shut up and eat now."
Grinning as she chewed, it was obvious that she wanted to laugh, but the mouthful of food wasn't making it the easiest thing in the world. Instead, her hand flew up and swiped mine away from the chin that had been using it as support. She squeezed it, swallowing the food with a gulp. Whether she was grabbing my hand for the sake of grabbing it, or was trying to say something, I didn't have a clue.
"You know, L, I'm always thinking of how lucky I am to be with you." Grace tightened her grip again. "My best friend, and then my girlfriend. I mean, is that even possible? I couldn't believe my ears when you said yeah. I really couldn't. I still can't."
Grace was referring to the night she told me how she felt. It came out of nowhere and it caught me completely off guard, in every respect. She was helping me with my homework when she got up and grabbed a stack of pictures. It was after that when she told the truth, and for all intents and purposes, spilt her guts. As had been usual with this fine specimen of a human being, I was speechless, more so than I'd ever been in my life.
My head was stuffed to the hilt, and it felt like a bomb had went off in my head, sending molecules of thought of everywhere. There were so many questions and so many thoughts in my mind, it felt like it was impossible to process all of it right there. I had put her through minutes of torture before I was finally able to speak, and within those thoughts, it was as though a new door was opened for me - a door I had no idea existed.
I saw Grace in a new light, so to speak. She wasn't just the best friend anymore, she wasn't just the girl I talked about everything with anymore. She wasn't just the girl that I confided in anymore. Grace had become so much more than that, with just a single kiss. All it had taken was a single kiss to change everything I thought was right, to make question everything that I was taught was right.
Even if I was unsure, I accepted her feelings - fully aware that we would have to hide it because of her parents. Her reason was unknown to me at the time, but she had put her faith in me. Every word she said to me that night had been relentlessly churned, over and over, inside and out. Even if there was a possibility of a lifelong friendship being ruined, that had been a risk she was willing to take.
If Grace was willing to go that far for me, then how could I have said no? How could I have rejected what she had clearly put so much heart and thought into? I couldn't reject her feelings. I wasn't able to say no to her "I love you" or anything that came after it. I accept and returned the feeling she tried so hard to get across, despite all of the borders and walls put in front of her.
I accepted it all. I accepted it all and haven't looked back since.
Before being with her, I was just some boy-obsessed teenage girl who had her simple crushes. I went to school and did my homework. Before Grace took over my every thought, I was just a archetypal teenager that fit the stereotype in almost every way. Then she swooped in and things changed. I paid the slightest bit more attention to my hair, I cared that much more about how I dressed, and how good I looked for her. If it was a guy, I'd probably would have done the same, but the difference was Grace herself. I would have gone so much further to please her than anyone, because she had always been in my life for as long as I could remember.
A simple smile from her turned me into putty, that sparkle in her eyes was like waking up in the clouds. I was beyond happy with the choices I made in my life, and I carried no regrets in those choices. Grace had taken my average daily life and seemingly turned it into the Milky Way. Even back then, I hadn't known what gender I was into. All I knew was that I was in love. I was in love with Grace and that was never going to be any different. My only regret was taking so long to figure it out.
"Hey, Einstein." Grace squeezed my boob. "Blow a fuse?"
I gave jump to the unexpected touch, flicking her forehead for revenge. "I didn't blow a fuse."
"Can I make you blow one, then?" Grace sat up, grinning like the demon she was.
Grace jumped up and took her shoes off, running ahead in the sand. Spinning, she came to a slow as she waited for me to stand and follow along with her. Just like a holy figure, I saw the light ahead of me. The way she had been right at that moment was just like her, so far ahead of me, waiting for me to catch up. She was my destination, and my future. Following her lead, I peeled the shoes I was wearing off of my feet and began to follow.
As I caught up, Grace moved closer into the water, letting her feet soak into it. The weather itself had been gorgeous, without blemish. The clarity of the sky had been that of a painting, hung up on the wall of a local gallery. It was nights like these that reminded me of Grace, all of the bright lights, the shining stars above the world. She was a star, and would come to one day shine above the world. She shined in a world that I would never exist in, yet she still came down for something like me. One day, the whole world would see just how bright she shined. That was a fact. I just knew that it would happen.
"Are you in love? You're being awfully spacey, L." Grace pulled me into the water, smirking at her own little comment.
"I am. It's some cute little brunette with a huge smile and the biggest heart I've ever seen." I looked in the other direction, going along with her. "I wonder what she's up to right now, besides being mean to someone."
"I don't think she's being mean. I just think she's teasing someone she really, really loves." Grace answered. "She's probably with that person right now, and her heart is probably beating like crazy, too. I'm sure she wants that person to know that she's insanely in love with her."
Before I had the chance to respond, Grace circled around and jumped aboard. In what felt like mere seconds, she had her legs wrapped around my waist and her forehead pressed against mine. The sudden shift in weight caused me to lose my balance and forced me to slip into what was, luckily, the dry part of the sand. The last thing I either of us needed was to get wet, and thankfully I managed to dodge that.
As she proceeded to laugh herself to death, I gawked like a starstruck child. How could someone act like such an idiot, but still be so beautiful doing it? How was she able to find falling over so amusing? Grace had always been laughing at something, and tried her best to make others laugh with her. It wasn't that her laugh was contagious, it was her personality that was. She was literally the most outgoing existence on the planet, and it wasn't close.
I had never been truly introverted myself, but I never actively chased down people like she had. She had this little talent for making the loneliest person in the room feel welcomed and put a smile on their face in the process. It was something she did to me every second I saw her and something I had seen her do for so many other people.
"Lynn? Grace? Why are you two here?" There was a young, raspy voice that came from behind. "Why were you holding hands?"
I rolled over, sitting myself up. "We were just playing around and I lost my balance. We never held hands, either. You just wanted to see that." We had been caught red-handed, right in the cookie jar. People didn't just hold hands like that because 'they were playing around', and all three of us knew that. The bigger issue was keeping him quiet, and what it would take for him to stay that way.
Standing, I brushed the sand from legs and offered a hand to Grace. The boy who had confronted us was a more well-known student our school, by way of being a huge clown and something of a troublemaker. While he seemed accepting enough, I knew keeping him quiet wasn't going to be easy, or cheap. Nothing was ever free, something that's handed over always comes with a cost.
"Come hang out with us. We have a little fire going, just chilling. There's a high school kid, but it's Joey's brother, so he's cool." he motioned to follow him. "The more I think about it, though, it's obvious that you two are going out. You're both literally always together and sneaking off. Am I the only person who knows?"
"If we come with you, will you stay quiet about it?" I looked back at Grace.
I received a nod. "I'll keep them quiet about it, too."
Grace and I followed him back, and swiped our shoes on the way to wherever he was taking us. Soon enough, we began to see a small orange glow just ahead of us with three other people around it. As we approached the small fire, we received the eyes of three other boys. The taller, lanky blonde was clearly older than the rest. Just to his right sat a Bieber clone, and the boy on the left was the dictionary picture for generic. I know putting it that way was mean, but it was the best way to put it.
We both sat, waiting for one of them to say something. The silence had started as awkward and grew beyond that, to the point where it had become a bit grating. I mean, if they had nothing to say, then why did he force us along with him? It was stupid, and I was going to say something. But it hadn't come to that.
"You two should kiss." he nodded, seemingly proud. I looked up to who I assumed to be generic-boy's brother, only to be given a shrug of the shoulders.
"If we kiss, will you stay quiet about this?" Grace, surprisingly, answered as she touched my arm. "If you talk about it, Lynn's brother is going to hunt you down. I'm not joking."
My brother was something of a legend in the area, at least with the kids and teenagers. He liked to party and have fun, which eventually led to some trouble with people. Specifically, the police and parents. His reputation had gotten so bad that nobody would hire him for work, and that free time had led to fights with people talking about him. He was a good person, and he tried so hard to be for everyone else, but this place ran him off. There was no choice for him but to leave.
The next time I saw him was on TV during an amateur mixed martial arts fight. He was so much bigger and his hair was different, but I knew right away when I saw him. There was no doubt in my mind when I saw his face, it was him and he wasn't going to lose. Ever since then, I had tried to watch him whenever I could find his fights. If that was the only way to see him, then that was what I was going to do.
"Fucking pe-" Grace shook her head, halting me right in my tracks.
I had so badly wanted to smack him into his next life. Not for asking us to kiss, but for his sexualization of Grace. I hadn't cared so much about myself in that way, but I wasn't going to let her be looked down on like that. I didn't want Grace to be compared to the idealization of some porn he saw online. She was so much more than that, so much less plastic. In my teen mind, there was no way I could have said that in any sensible fashion, but it was exactly how I felt.
Grace, almost without reservation, brought herself closer and connected our lips like a plug to a wall socket. It was the same kiss we performed what felt like hundreds of times by that point. the only difference was that she was doing it in front of people. Her nails began to stroke my thigh and her eyes had closed, it almost seemed as though she was into it. It seemed like she had wanted to do it - until she smoothly pulled back, that is.
"Even? None of you will be saying a word to anyone. Ever." Grace peeked. "If that's it, then we're going to go now."
There was an odd expression on her face, one that was new to her. Her eyes had narrowed some and she wasn't smiling at all as she stood up. Clenching my fist, I held back and followed Grace away from the beach. I had wanted to smack him silly, but even I had known that wouldn't have done any good.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _
I followed Grace in through her window and into her room, where her words had still seemed to be missing. There was no way I could tell what was wrong with her. I hadn't ever seen that expression on her and it was looking more likely that she wasn't going to be talking to me. So, I did the only thing I knew how to do around her - become putty. I approached from behind, my arms constricting her chest like a python to an alligator.
"Are you mad?"
"Not at all." she spread my arms apart like a pair of wings and spun within them.
Now in my face, Grace grinned as she took slow steps forward. Step by step, I snailed my way back until her palms hit my shoulders and sent me onto her bed. Before my brain could even comprehend the situation, Grace's knees had already forced my legs apart and she was now leaning over me like a looming, demonic giant.
"I was just a little annoyed that our date got interrupted." Grace bit her lip as both of her hands began to peel off my shirt, the softness of her fingers tracing my bare skin on the way.
"But this'll definitely do."
ns 15.158.61.54da2
