【凌家 III 】爆炸頭不要來（網遊） - 4-1. 三人行之美人別走

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【凌家動物園 III 小強星人也求愛】爆炸頭不要來

By 喵芭渴死姬

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4-1. 三人行之美人別走

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『【任務請求】玩家喵喵仙貝向您分享【特殊任務】《撿到的家書》，請問是否接受？』986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQWWVEzZ7yG
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總算求到組隊的機會，肉盾立馬就按了接受，再打開面板一看，頓時就焉了，「又要回到艾爾文草原啊？哥才從那逃出來的。」986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsNBBOfKtl3
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「你那是在草原中央的主城，我們要去的是靠近埃斯萊森林的東區，不一樣啦。」變回人形的喵喵仙貝，順手從哥哥的包裡掏出一塊牛肉乾咬啊咬，有些口齒不清地說：「呣……呣……不過你迷去過那裡，所以我們還是要從打不死撐（達布史城）走。」986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIKHDjK33V5
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「叮！恭喜玩家喵喵仙真相了達布史城的命名由來，獲得戳破盲腸度+5，經驗值1000。」986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrlpwIJueLN
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「噗……」突如其來的系統發言，讓喵喵仙貝差點把嘴裡的東西給噴了，泰迪熊則一臉「寶貝兒真聰明」的驕傲眼神望著他。986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7DjKCMV0G6
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倒是肉盾沒注意到系統音，逕自望著他手裡的牛肉乾，又納悶地看向泰迪熊腰間的小掛袋，「怎麼小貝兒可以直接拿泰的東西啊？」986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs0iRnnpoET
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「唔……就、就、就特、特殊關係的福利啦！」喵喵仙貝忽然臉紅地怒聲回道。986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtVMFpIrD1
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在奧普斯裡，物品的存放與交易仍與傳統遊戲相仿，不論玩家間是買賣交易或免費贈與，都需經過雙方同意，比如：做出你給我取的動作，或是通過正式的交易視窗。而存放物品的置物包只有持有者才能開啟，對其他玩家來說，非屬自己的置物包只像是裝飾用掛袋，即便想觸碰也會被系統自動隔絕。986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwr9T3kJy7J
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當然，這些限定是指一般情況。若彼此是婚約以上的關係，即能啟動《財產共有制》——婚約關係者可互取置物包裡的食物與藥水；夫妻關係者則享有置物包共用福利，可互取彼此的所有物品，包括已綁定的裝備。然而，目前有婚約關係以上的玩家不多，加上官方尚未公開所有資訊，因此，肉盾不知道也算情有可原。986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQhF076k46
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不過，問題癥結似乎……不在上述？986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx4iHRhbAoY
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「什麼特殊關係？」肉盾依舊懵懂地仰著反光眼鏡，半晌又恍然大悟地說：「喔！系統偵測到你們是兄弟啊？」986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Gmd3t97oc
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「……」喵喵仙貝張口無語了會後，遲疑地抬頭望向泰迪熊。986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM0GaDAJCP2
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泰迪熊也微皺了眉似在斟酌什麼，最後才輕揉他的頭，淡定地轉移話題，「出發吧，貝兒時間不多。」986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtptTcWrtaj
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「啊，也對！」沒怎麼多想的肉盾，只當他們同意了說法，便直往傳送陣走去。而身後的兩人則在專屬的夫妻頻道打起字來——986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNY0LEQBFbO
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『【夫妻】喵喵仙貝：他還不知道嗎？OAO』986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPXHpSVss2
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『【夫妻】泰迪熊餅乾：嗯，等過陣子再說，不急。』986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx8886draFz
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『【夫妻】喵喵仙貝：喔～』986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbs2E2dXqQd
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從傳送陣飛到達布史城後，兄弟倆揪著一抵達就被NPC包圍的肉盾往城門走。這顆花椰菜頭在達布史城的事蹟，早被幾個愛傳八卦的玩家上世界頻道閒聊了，加上他們從開服以來就已經歷不少奇事，因而對此現象也不覺訝異，畢竟這傢伙可是他們認識十多年的那個艾登・蒙達菲。986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9bxyzddrAv
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不過，一踏出城門後，各種衝著肉盾來的群怪亂舞，倒是讓他們嘆為觀止了，就連面癱大神的眼角都不禁抽了下。986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJKeRSIy6Jl
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「怪拐睡～快快睡～再不睡覺就把你疵掉～」法師喵喵仙貝揮著巧克力棒吟唱完，所有圍在肉盾身邊的怪便陷入沈睡，頭頂上亦飄出各種大小的Z字母。986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtOHvFAEjqx
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泰迪熊施了個治療術後，就一手抓出肉盾，又下團體加速術，指著另一個方向，「那邊怪少，往那走。」986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPKsoGJFbBQ
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趁著安眠咒和加速術的三十秒，三人往多數玩家公會的帶團練功區奔去。幸好這時間還有不少台灣的夜貓練功團，藉怪一出來就被玩家們清光的優勢，加上喵喵仙貝不時放出安眠咒，他們才終於順利抵達任務NPC的所在地——本稻村。986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDRnBq5qJvZ
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「到底怎麼回事啊？為什麼連被動怪都會跑來攻擊？」喵喵仙貝仍沈浸在暴走風波中，兩眼呆楞地睜得老大。986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpMt1Mo47ao
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肉盾舉著還在晃的愛的小手，無奈搖頭說：「不知道啊，我第一天玩就被史萊姆吞了，那感覺到現在都還記憶猶新啊！」986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZPQpWNZmf7
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睨了眼那顆東晃西擺的爆炸頭後，泰迪熊盯著村外閒晃的怪思忖了半晌，就忽然邪笑地抬腳將肉盾踹出村口，還用法杖抵著他往外推去。一時間，群怪嚎鳴再起，如活屍聞到人肉般急速衝來。986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeNaY7eOYYn
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「哇啊！泰你幹嘛啊？」肉盾驚得往下一蹲避開法杖，又連滾帶爬地逃進村口，那些怪才悻悻然地散開。986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzGJ4ZGUGyq
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「做個實驗。」泰迪熊沒理會肉盾的哀嚎，轉身向村裡的雜貨商買了條花色大包巾後丟給他，「包住頭，再出去。」986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjkNtvY1NRI
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「包住？」肉盾有種不祥的預感。986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3pIrmna3Ep
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「嘿嘿！原來是爆炸頭在招仇恨嗎？」喵喵仙貝賊笑地搶過包巾，仗著兩人難得沒有身高差，硬是往爆炸頭一套，還在肉盾的下巴處打了個漂亮的蝴蝶結，一個頭頂花花大包袱的矮老媽子就華麗麗誕生了。986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdO9uWPcsw2
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「噗哈哈哈！豬頭登豪漂釀唷～哈哈哈哈！」986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDEtyMRVnvY
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「……」986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO3lCqaDNGu
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「去。」泰迪熊冷聲命令道，肉盾就只好哭哭地往村口外一站。986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaab5ZJBOHB
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這一次，只有幾隻較近的主動怪跑來，遠處的怪照舊在原地閒晃，而被動怪們則轉頭觀望未加入戰局，可見牠們仍受了點影響，但不至於想攻擊。如此證實了泰迪熊的推論後，肉盾又一次跪地噴淚悔不當初了986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnRkYtnLTLD
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「噗哈哈哈哈！誰讓你沒看說明就亂創角？」喵喵仙貝笑得更歡了。986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAqyvhI4yZq
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見弟弟燦笑得可愛，泰迪熊忍不住輕捏了把他的小臉，「其實，未必沒好處。」986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHMk9fG9TO2
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咦咦？招仇恨爆炸頭也有好處？！986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlpYofPkuLZ
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「怎麼說？」「什麼好處？」986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqcB87mOPSJ
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望著異口同聲的肉盾和喵喵仙貝，仙魔祭司大人揚起優雅又腹黑的微笑，「騎士的功用。」986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqF6RS98sQL
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再瞭解不過那笑裏藏刀，肉盾不禁打了個寒顫為自己的蠢默哀。兄控小貓妖則傲嬌地撇開臉，暗自羞羞表示哥沒事帥成這樣最吐厭了啦！986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJcbXLoP45e
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ε٩(๑> ₃ <)۶з Σ>—(〃°ω°〃)♥ → (╭￣3￣)╭♥ σ ﾟ∀ ﾟ) ﾟ∀ﾟ)σ ლ（╹ε╹ლ）

986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0hpRuBIcK4
「近來森林那頭來了許多奇怪的生物，嚴重影響草原的生態，破壞了老夫培育多年的菜園，村口那些怪物也是因此被趕到這來，害我們每天過得提心吊膽……」雖不高也有一米六的老村長，伸出顫抖的手捧住肉盾的爆炸頭，老淚縱痕地說：「老夫看到你這顆頭，就想起外出尋找勇者而失蹤的兒子，他最愛吃老夫種的花椰菜了，可惜老夫再也看不到他吃花椰菜的樣子了。」986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWz8lvXHZwS
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「……」肉盾真心無語了。986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP9Ifwv8FlQ
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「……」喵喵仙貝抿緊嘴唇努力控制臉皮，在隊伍頻道快速打字——986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3gHjbg0DQH
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『【隊伍】喵喵仙貝：怎麼辦？我好想笑～～～QWQ』986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH15W1MFdXe
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『【隊伍】泰迪熊餅乾：乖，再忍一下就好了。』986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAypJdIpw7H
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『【隊伍】肉盾阿弗羅：你們幫幫忙啊！哥快被他搖暈啦！！！＠＠』986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡALNotcsLMN
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老村長如泣如訴地說完對愛子的思念後，終於放開肉盾的頭抹淚道：「敢問三位如何找到這封家書的？」986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj8sUOQLhPd
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喵喵仙貝再次抿住嘴，果斷地看向哥哥。986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpftdspArHT
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「在害死貴公子的蕃果妖體內找到的。」泰迪熊面不改色地以字正腔圓的流利中文回道。986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡokbnSr5nLz
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老村長一聽，便了然地長嘆一聲，「原來如此，那三位便算是犬子尋來的勇士了。老夫想拜託你們幫忙解決這場災難，也算是完成他的遺願。」986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSp5naXTFMF
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「叮！恭喜玩家泰迪熊餅乾觸發了【特殊任務】《禍害草原的外來客》，請消滅森林邊界草原上的生物，解決本稻村的安危問題。此任務將自動分享給隊友。」986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHChRcLQqIP
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「呼……終於解脫了。」走出村長家後，喵喵仙貝揉著臉嘆道。村長父子的生離死別固然催淚動人，但抱著一顆爆炸頭哭的畫面實在太過違合，讓他又鼻酸又想笑，一整個哭笑不得，憋得他快瘋了。986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh36M45SlTr
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也鬆了口氣的肉盾伸著懶腰，朝他們露出一個傻笑，「不過你們真幸運，隨手打個怪就打出特殊任務道具。」986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq2luFL8ftS
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「呃，呵呵……」喵喵仙貝乾笑地撓撓臉，回頭偷看了眼村長家緊閉的門，小聲說：「不是打來的。」986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzWVc355hns
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「嗄？」986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3vXqNJ18QX
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泰迪熊失笑地摟住喵喵仙貝代為回答：「貝兒吃出來的。」986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa5jhoDKnDY
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「這、這……還能吃出來？」肉盾也緊張地張望四周，壓低聲音說：「該不會是小貝兒……？」986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRl0GFsnNbr
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「唔，我以為它只是普通的大蕃茄嘛，誰知道才衝過去咬一口，它就尖叫地吐出東西……」喵喵仙貝紅著臉咕噥道。986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeBSRswOeWh
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吃貨上了遊戲還是吃貨啊！肉盾遠目無語了。986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNFroXR17l4
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待一切準備就緒後，肉盾在泰迪熊的冷眼掃射下，再次哭哭地戴上頭包巾。踏出村門口，三人快速解決掉衝來的主動怪，一道輕盈身影便正好於他們面前從天而降，肉盾頓時為之一愣。986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCj1hUMn3Lb
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精靈潤澤柔順的緋紅髮絲隨風微揚，散來一股淡雅花香，精緻絕美的臉蛋似有未染塵埃的空靈，收起淡褪的雙翼飄落了幾片細羽，令人有天使降臨之感。他朝村口悠然走去的同時，琥珀般的晶燦美目不經意朝他們掃去，卻在瞥見肉盾的宅大媽裝扮時，於眼底浮起一絲極淺的笑意，襯得那無瑕雪膚更加透亮。986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0n2quTY8uw
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雖說大家玩遊戲多會調整美化外貌，像互控兄弟檔為了相認而幾不調整的人例外，但能調到完美的角色卻也極為少見。然而，這個羽翼精靈美得連喵喵仙貝都不禁「哇」地低呼一聲，更別說以追求美人為生活意義的肉盾了。986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrAfsPJ6PlJ
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「天……」如被百萬伏特電擊般，肉盾張大嘴站在原地呆望美人漸行漸遠的背影，半晌後才摀住胸口粗喘著氣，仰天含淚嘆道：「哥戀愛了！」986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEtuRFP0aGx
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「……」986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe4zd3VJeI2
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「……」986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGFnxxgb4bp
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「美人等……」肉盾舉步企圖追上紅髮精靈，卻被一法杖迎面架住臉，腰帶也被一股力道往後拉扯，攔人者正是兩位兄弟檔。986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA2Zy9cZRJD
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「走啦走啦！去做任務，別又亂騷擾人啦！」喵喵仙貝無奈翻了白眼，努力拉著他往外走去。986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Guvbni178
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喔，不啊！哥好不容易遇到心動的人說！肉盾朝遠去的美人伸出爾康手，肝腸寸斷地哭喊：「美人啊——」986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoGoQWWOjnq
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「閉嘴！」額冒十字筋的祭司大人萬分認真地思考，乾脆多買一條包巾塞住這傢伙的嘴算了。986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgyLODCS4rB
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ε٩(๑> ₃ <)۶з Σ>—(〃°ω°〃)♥ → (╭￣3￣)╭♥ σ ﾟ∀ ﾟ) ﾟ∀ﾟ)σ ლ（╹ε╹ლ）

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後記：

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美人初登場～XD986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwuCigqgZ27
花巾大媽頭的存在感強到不注意都很難啊WWWWW986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIN81mXPgTJ
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2.大貓小貓相親記 — 泰特斯X拉貝爾（作品名：恃寵而傲嬌）986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO1hrD1dujA
3.小強星人也求愛 — 艾登X席倫（作品名：爆炸頭不要來）986Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4U3j3sOaoy
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